True North
by Jaclyn Parker
Summary: When you feel like you can't find the way home, maybe it's just time to create a new way to get there. A CarJack story w/ bits of other Oakdale couples along with some original characters. Finally COMPLETED! PLEASE READ & REVIEW!
1. Moving On is Not So Simple

True North: part I  
by Jaclyn Parker

"_Moving on, is a simple thing, __what it leaves behind is hard."  
__-David Mustaine_

**********************************************************************

It had been a long week. A very long week.

Jack Snyder walked in the door of the Snyder farm and immediately tossed his coat on the back of one the kitchen chairs. Forgoing any food, he grabbed a beer from the fridge and in one smooth motion had the top off and was taking a long drink. He slammed the bottle down on the counter and sighed.

"Careful there, buddy. Don't wanna hurt the beer's feelings." Came a voice from the kitchen doorway.

Jack smiled and turned to see his fiancée, Janet, standing there a smile on her face as well.

"Hey, you." He said and moved to kiss her hello. It was a soft kiss and when he pulled away she followed, slight disappointment in her eyes.

She could tell he was tired and upset, not that she could really blame him with everything that was going on lately. First, his kids don't take well to their engagement…at all. Sage and Parker even went so far as to set her up on a false date with an ex to try and break them up. Then she has it out with his ex-wife, Carly, making matters completely worse for everyone. And finally his brother, who is also the father of her teenaged daughter, was arrested for murder with a pretty shaky alibi.

Kissing his cheek, she went to the fridge and grabbed a beer for herself. Gently clinking the bottles together they drank in silence.

"Anything new on Brad's case?" Janet asked, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"No, nothing. Not even a damn body." Jack said and she could feel the tension in his shoulders.

"Well, I know it's not ideal but our engagement party is in a couple weeks and it might take everyone's mind off of things." Janet said perkily, trying to cheer him up.

"Oh yeah, I'm sorry, sweetie. I completely forgot. Do you need me to do anything?" Jack said, finishing his beer and moving to get another one from the fridge.

"Just show up and look handsome?" Janet said, winking at him gaining a smile in return.

"That I can do." Jack said, popping the top off his beer.

"Um, have you talked to your kids yet about coming?" Janet asked but bit her lip at the end of the question. She knew that it was hard on him how much the kids disapproved of their marriage. Truth was, it hurt her a lot too but she was trying to make it work. But that did not include postponing her wedding just because his ex-wife suggested it!

"I've tried, but I don't get very far before they shut down on me. Parker's barely speaking to me as it is, JJ is pretending everything is fine but spends most of his time at friend's houses, and Sage…"

Jack trailed off at the thought of his daughter; his baby girl. He hated that the adoring look he usually saw in her eyes was now constantly replaced by sadness, anger, and betrayal. No matter how hard he had tried to prepare her for the fact that he and Carly weren't getting back together, Sage still dreamed of nothing else.

What he couldn't stop to think about was that up until a couple weeks ago that was all he had dreamed about too.

Jack shook those thoughts away and re-focused on Janet who was looking at him curiously.

"Everything okay?" She asked and he nodded, silently turning to put the bottle opener back in the drawer.

Jack paused when he caught sight of a sketch pad lying on the counter. Instantly recognizing it as one of Carly's from years ago, he picked it up and flipped through it.

Again familiarization hit him as he took in the designs. They were from when Carly had been working at Monte Carlo during her pregnancy with Sage. The star themed outfits were as stunning in the sketches as they were when she had made them, before everything had come crashing down. Yet, as he got further in he noticed designs that he had never seen before. He came to one design in particular and stopped, unable to take his eyes from the sketch.

A floor length wedding gown with a delicate lace overlay was gracefully and lovingly drawn across the page. He could make out small star like constellations every so often and the words "Swarovski crystals" written adjacent to them in Carly's neat handwriting. The gown was strapless and had an empire waist with a small soft train in the back.

The design was flawless but it was the name of the dress that made Jack swallow hard.

"The North Star," Jack whispered softly and traced the smaller words underneath the title. "A G-man exclusive."

"Jack?" Janet's voice interrupted his thoughts again and he hastily turned the page.

"Where did this come from?" He asked, trying to make his voice sound normal, and Janet shrugged.

"It was under the living room sofa. I saw Sage drawing in it the last time she was over, but she wouldn't show me anything." Janet replied, taking another small sip of beer.

Jack flipped forward one more and saw a couple of less sophisticated designs, but with definite signs of an un-honed talent. It looked like his daughter had gotten more than her fair share of her mother's creative genes.

"Can I see?" Janet asked and moved toward him. Jack felt panic hit him and quickly closed the sketch pad.

"No. I, uh, I think Sage would probably be upset if I showed these to anyone. I'm not even going to tell her that I saw them." Jack said and Janet eyed him for a moment before nodding in agreement. "I think I'll run this over to her, okay?"

"Um, sure. Are we still going to go to the movies?" Janet asked and Jack frowned at her. "We were going to see that new romantic comedy, remember?"

"Oh, right!" Jack said, vaguely remembering agreeing to that just before he nodded off to sleep a few days ago. "Yeah, I'll drop this off and then why don't I meet you there in about an hour?"

"Are you sure? Do you want me to come with you?" Janet asked, but at Jack's hesitation she sighed. "No, you're right. I don't want to make things more difficult with Sage than they already are."

"Thanks." Jack said and kissed her cheek, before grabbing his coat and keys. "See you in a bit."

"Love you." Janet said but found that she had said the endearment to the swinging screen door as her fiancée was already gone.


	2. Avoiding Temptation

True North: part II  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_I generally avoid temptation __unless I can't resist it."  
__-Mae West_

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Jack heard the laughter all the way from the sidewalk as he approached the house in Milltown. Knocking on the door, he heard a muffled giggle and then a voice yell that it was open. Upon letting himself in, the sight before him caused a giant smile to form on his face as he placed the sketch pad on the desk by the door.

Carly, her toes separated by cotton balls, half waddled and half chased their pajama wearing daughter around the living room, whose toes were also separated by cotton. Sage tried to fake her mother out by going around the sofa the other way but was counter-acted by Carly who had anticipated the move. With a squeal of delight, Sage found herself caught around the middle in a hug and hoisted up to be swung around. Carly's head flew back with a full hearted laugh as well as she twirled her daughter around in a dizzying circle.

"Well, what do we have here?" Jack asked and both females stopped abruptly, turning in his direction.

"Jack?"

"Daddy!"

The cries were simultaneous, one confused and one delighted. Carly placed their daughter on the ground, who swayed momentarily before waddling over to throw her arms around his waist.

"Hey Princess." Jack said, hugging her back just as tightly.

"Mommy and I are having a girl's night." Sage said, her eyes sparkling.

Jack had seen that his daughter was in her pajamas but he finally took in his surroundings. Pop music flowed from the radio while bottles of unopened brightly colored nail polish sat on the coffee table along with mugs of what he assumed were either hot chocolate or apple cider. An order of cheese fries with two forks buried deep within what was left and a mostly empty pizza box told the tale of how the night had probably started.

Glancing over at Carly he took in the appearance of his ex-wife as well. She stood there, her blonde curls tousled about her shoulders, in a hot pink camisole tank top that came to rest just below her belly button. A pair of low riding flannel pajama pants with multi-colored smiley faces on them hung off her waist, in effect exposing about an inch and a half of her creamy skin where the two articles of clothing almost met.

Jack felt a stirring within him that only seemed to grow when he realized that she was now aware of him staring and scrambled to throw on her thin bathrobe. It certainly wasn't the most provocative thing he had ever seen her wear, but in that moment Jack thought she had never looked sexier. He knew she could see it in his eyes as she quickly licked her lips in the nervous fashion of hers and drew the robe closed tighter.

"What are you doing here, Jack?" She asked her voice slightly shaky, making him grin even wider.

"Yeah, Daddy. We thought you were Parker." Sage said and Jack tore his eyes away from Carly to look at the little girl in confusion.

"Parker?" Jack asked and Sage nodded.

"He's…" Sage began but was interrupted.

"Right here." Parker's voice finished up.

They all turned to see Parker standing in the doorway, his eyes darting from his mother to his father. There was silence for a few uncomfortable moments before Carly finally spoke up.

"Is Kato all set for the night?" She asked, referring to the neighbor's dog that Parker was taking care of while they were on vacation. Parker turned his focus on her and nodded.

"Yeah, Jason's mom will drop me off in time to let him out and feed him in the morning." Parker said, moving in and shutting the door behind him.

"Where are you going?" Jack asked but Parker just ignored him.

"Mom, is my stuff ready?"

Carly frowned at the obvious slight to Jack but nodded back at her son. "The clothes you needed washed are on your bed. Please put away whatever you're not taking with you before you go."

Parker gave her a give blink which she assumed in teenager body language meant "okay" and Jack decided to try again.

"Where are you going?"

"Out." Parker bit out, glaring at Jack.

"Parker, enough." Carly said sternly and Parker just sighed loudly.

"Mom, I need to get ready. Jason's mom will be here any minute to take us to the school."

"Fine, go." Carly said, her voice filled with resignation. Parker started for the stairs at a brisk huff.

"Hey, Parker." Sage said, hurrying over to him.

"What, Sage?" Parker said, exasperation in his tone. Carly shot him a deadly glare and he shook his head. "I'm sorry. I'm just…I'm in a hurry, okay?"

"Well, I was thinking…do you wanna borrow my Nintendo DS for the bus ride? I mean, I know yours is broken. And mine is light blue so it's not too girly." Sage asked and Parker stared at her a moment before grinning at his little sister.

"That'd be great, Sage. Thanks." Parker said and Sage grinned back before turning to Carly.

"I'll be right back, Mommy. Don't start your painting your fingers without me!" Sage implored.

"Don't worry. Purple Pansy Passion will be ready and waiting when you come down again." Carly said, smiling at her daughter and sending a thank you to her son with her eyes. Both kids bounded up the stairs and then it was just the radio's music filling the room. As an overly perky song about falling in love came on, Carly quickly moved to turn the radio off.

"So are you going to at least tell me where he's going?" Jack asked again, his aggravation obvious.

"Since tomorrow is an in-service day, there's a school sponsored trip for the high school to the new sports complex over in the next town. It's got midnight bowling, laser tag, and some all night indoor batting cages. Supposed to help keep the kids occupied and off the streets after hours." Carly said, shrugging and moved back towards the couch.

"Our 15 year old son is going to be out all night and you didn't think to tell me about it?" Jack asked, his voice rising.

Carly's eyes widened and she stared at him. "Jack, it's completely chaperoned. They go until about 12:30-1am then get shuttled back to the school. He's staying at his friend Jason's house when they get back. He signed up weeks ago but just decided yesterday that he really wanted to go. In light of what's happened recently I thought it was a good sign that he wanted to spend time with his friends."

"Well, it still would have been nice to have been informed of this little school trip." Jack said, glaring at her.

Carly looked at Jack for a long moment before quickly moving to start picking up the leftover plates and silverware from dinner. Jack winced at the way she was banging things together, knowing that he had taken out his frustration with Parker on her. He also knew that she was showing a lot of restraint, holding in everything she wanted to say to him, which was incredibly unlike Carly. After a few seconds, Jack silently moved to help her. He grabbed the two mugs from the top of the pizza box before they fell and she whipped her head around to look at him. Jack just stared back and she rolled her eyes before stalking into the kitchen, leaving Jack no choice but to follow her.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I guess I'm just upset with the way things are going with me and Parker." Jack said, handing her the mugs when she held out her hands.

Carly put them in the sink and took a deep breath before turning to face him.

"Jack, I understand that, but you have to look at it from his point of view. You are marrying the mother of the girl he…" Carly trailed off, still not quite believing that her baby boy had lost his virginity.

"I know. It's just that we used to be so close and then with Sage and J.J. on top of that…" Jack said then frowned. "By the way, where is J.J.?"

"When he heard about Parker's trip, and since it's only for 10th grade and up, he asked to stay at a friend's house for the night. Apparently Michael Schwartz got this new game for Xbox and J.J. is _dying_ to try it out." Carly said, her lips twitching at the memory of her younger son practically on his knees begging to be able to go play the game.

"Ah, hence the 'girl's night' with Sage." Jack said and Carly nodded. Jack smiled but Carly could tell he was still incredibly bothered by their children's treatment of his engagement to Janet. Lord knew that while she wasn't thrilled with it either, she hated to see him hurting like this. Despite everything that had gone on between them over the years, Jack was a wonderful father and loved his kids.

"Jack," Carly said, placing a hand on his forearm. "For whatever it's worth, I'll try talking to them again."

"Thanks, Carly. I'd appreciate it." Jack said and she smiled at him. He smiled back and took her hand from his arm. He laced his fingers with hers and brought their hands up so he could kiss her knuckles. Her baby blue eyes widened and without hesitation he brought his other hand up to caress her cheek.

Carly couldn't help herself as she instinctively leaned into his touch. Jack groaned as her scent swept over him; a combination of her strawberry shampoo, the chocolate candy she ate whenever the kids weren't looking, and the undeniable uniqueness that was just pure…

"Carly." Jack said softly and her gaze searched his own. They both knew what was coming and neither one wanted to stop it from happening. Jack cupped her cheek gently and slowly leaned forward. He felt another stirring deep within him as her lips parted and a soft breath escaped her.

"Mom, Jason and his mom here so I'm leaving!" Parker's voice slammed them back into reality.

Carly's eyes popped open and in an instant she had shoved herself away from Jack. Clutching the kitchen sink for dear life she tried to slow her heartbeat to a normal rhythm and calm her tingling body. Jack was leaning against the counter, his knuckles white as he, too, tried to force his body to relax.

"Mom!" Parker called again, frustration and something similar to teenaged end of the world panic in his tone.

"I'm…I'm coming." Carly said and without even looking at Jack, she moved towards the refrigerator. Opening it and pulling out two bottles of Gatorade, she returned to the living room.

Parker stood there, a backpack slung over his shoulder, tapping his foot impatiently. His eyes narrowed at the sight of Carly coming out of the kitchen then narrowed more when Jack followed moments later. Carly just shook her head at her oldest son and handed him the two drinks.

"I put extra money in the front pocket of your backpack, just in case." Carly said, surprised to hear that the tremors running through her body were not in her voice.

"Mom, I have my dog-sitting money." Parker said, but Carly shook her head.

"No, you save that. You earned it, so you get to spend it on what you want." Carly said then added "Within reason."

Parker rolled his eyes but grinned at her. "Thanks, Mom."

"You're welcome. Now, I only want two texts…" Carly started to say but he held up his hand.

"I know, I know. One when I get there and one when I get to Jason's house later on. You told me, like, a million times."

"Well then that can be a million and one." Carly said, sarcastically before pulling her son into a hug. He went willingly for a moment before wiggling out of the embrace and moving to the door that Sage was holding open.

"Bye, Parker. Have fun." Sage said, hero worship in her eyes.

"See ya, Shorty. Don't let Mom destroy the house okay?" Parker said, ruffling Sage's hair before disappearing out the door without even a look back in Jack's direction.

Even with what had just almost happened in the kitchen, Carly couldn't help but send a sympathetic look his way. Jack tried not to show it but the waves of hurt were clear to her. Carly opened her mouth to apologize on Parker's behalf but Sage cut her off.

"Daddy, you're still here?" Sage said, running over to him and he wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"Yeah, Jack, why are you here?" Carly echoed, realizing that he hadn't yet mentioned the reason for his impromptu visit.

"Oh, I brought something Sage left at the farm." Jack said, motioning to the desk.

"My sketch book! I've been looking for that for days." Sage cried and ran over to pick it up.

Jack watched the color drain from Carly's face as she realized what Sage held.

"That…that's been at your house this whole time?" Carly asked quietly, her mind running through the sketches that she knew were in there. Sage didn't know it, but Carly had been looking for that same sketch pad ever since she realized which one her daughter had taken for her drawings.

"Yeah, I guess it has." Jack said, watching Carly's reaction closely.

"You didn't look at them, did you Daddy?" Sage asked accusingly, clutching the book to her chest.

"No, I didn't. I figured you would show me when you're ready." Jack said and he knew it was the right answer when he saw the relief in her eyes. "But I am willing to bet that you are just as talented as your mom."

"No way! Mommy's designs are so beautiful. Just like her." Sage said and Carly sent a loving and indulgent smile to her child.

"You're right. Your mom's designs are amazing." Jack said and Carly's eyes shot to his face.

"I'm going to go put this in my room. Then can we watch the movie, Mommy?" Sage asked and Carly nodded at her, not able to say anything.

Sage raced for the stairs but paused before heading up. "Don't go away, Daddy, until I come back down okay?"

"I won't, Princess." Jack said and with that Sage took the stairs two at a time. Carly waited until she could hear Sage in her room before turning on Jack.

"You did see those designs!" She told him, pointing a finger at him.

"Accidentally, but I stopped after the first one. She's very talented." Jack said and Carly couldn't help but let out a smile of maternal pride.

"I know. She comes by it naturally." Carly said, mock fluffing her hair.

"Yes, she does." Jack said, smiling but completely serious. Carly stopped joking and frowned at him, searching his face again.

"You saw it, didn't you? The final piece of the Starry Night collection."

Jack didn't answer but she knew it just the same. A red hot flush came over her and she turned away.

"It's a beautiful dress, Carly. Why didn't you ever make it?"

Carly stayed silent and just shrugged. Without turning around she could feel him come closer to her until he was literally inches away from her. His breath tickled her neck as he bent over to whisper in her ear.

"I wish you had. You would have looked incredible in it." Jack said and Carly closed her eyes tightly, forcing the tears that were burning in her throat and eyes away.

"Jack, what are you doing?" Carly managed to whisper out and whirled around to stare up at into his face.

Jack just shook his head, the millions of conflicting thoughts in his mind and body swirling around him.

The sound of Sage coming back down the stairs forced them to realize again where they were and for the second time that night Carly quickly walked away from him. Jack gathered himself together and turned just before their daughter came into view.

"Good, I knew you wouldn't leave!" Sage said grinning at Jack, oblivious to the tension surrounding her parents.

"Of course not, Princess." Jack said, hugging his daughter to him tightly.

"Can you stay to watch the movie with me and Mommy?" Sage said, looking at him hopefully. Jack's eyes shot to Carly's face which held a definite amount of panic.

"Sage," Carly's voice trembled and she cleared her throat discreetly to fix it. "Sage, honey, that kind of ruins the whole effect of a girl's night."

"But," Sage started to protest, matchmaking ideas obviously running through her mind.

"Besides, I'm sure your dad has other plans." Carly said and by the look of sudden anxiety on his face, she knew she was right.

Jack glanced down at his watch and closed his eyes in distress over the time. The movie that he was supposed to see with Janet had started 5 minutes ago.

"Actually, your mom is right. But I'll see you tomorrow, remember? You guys are spending the night at the farm." Jack said and he watched Sage's expression drop.

He knew that normally Sage loved the farm and there was only one reason that had her looking like he had said she was going to face a firing squad. Jack just wished that Sage would give Janet a chance, but also knew that he was partly responsible for his daughter's feelings. The way he had acted around Carly in the weeks leading to his engagement with Janet was confusing to even him, much less a hopeful 10 year old kid. And actions and feelings like tonight had brought didn't help him.

"It'll be fun. Holden and Lily said that Faith and Natalie can come over for a sleepover." Jack said, cringing as he caught Carly's slightly amused look. _Yes_, he was trying to get his daughter to loosen up and _yes_, he was bribing her with a sleepover. At this point, he didn't care as long as she smiled when she was at the farm instead of sulking.

"Okay," Sage said, the mention of her friends sleeping over not even producing a hint of a smile.

Carly could see that Jack was at the end of his rope and when he glanced down at his watch again, she knew she had to help out.

"Sage, come on, you'll have a great time. And look at it this way, you'll have cool new flower designs on your fingers and toes to show off. Maybe I'll even let you bring some of them to your sleepover." Carly said, talking about the shiny foil nail decals that she had bought today at the beauty supply store. Sage's eye had lit up earlier when she had seen them, her mind already planning to put a different flower on each of her fingers. Just as Carly had hoped, Sage's eyes lit up again.

"Really? Can I take the heart ones too?" Sage said and Carly laughed.

"You drive a hard bargain, kid." Carly told her, nodding her head in agreement. "But only if you say goodbye to your dad without giving him a rough time."

"Cool!" Sage said and then turned to Jack, hugging him tightly. "Bye, Daddy!"

She released him and hurried over to the coffee table, already back to selecting a nail polish color and decals.

Jack was surprised to be dismissed so quickly but looking at Carly's face he agreed with her obvious thought line. _'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth'._

"I should be going." Jack said, inching towards the door.

"Okay," Carly said back, not moving from her position by the couch. "Have a good night."

"Yeah, you too." Jack responded, meanwhile thinking how completely inane the conversation had turned considering what had been happening all night. "I'll, uh, call you tomorrow about the kids."

"No, it's fine. I'll just drop them off after Sage's dance class. Emma will be there, right?" Carly said, keeping her tone normal and even despite her also thinking about the two near incidents of the evening.

She couldn't help but thank God that tomorrow was Friday and she would be working at Metro all weekend while the kids stayed with Jack. She wouldn't have to run into him again until Sunday night when he dropped them back off at her house.

"Um, yeah, and if she's not, Janet will be." Jack said and at that Carly just flattened her lips into a straight line and nodded her head.

Then as if saying her name conjured her up, Jack's phone began to vibrate in his pocket. He jumped slightly and meeting Carly's eyes he could tell that she knew what was happening.

"You'd better go." She said softly, her voice just above a whisper but somehow reaching his ears.

"Yeah, okay." Jack said and then smiled at his daughter. "Bye Sage. I love you."

"What? Oh, bye Daddy. Love you too." Sage said, looking up briefly before once again trying to decide between the bright purple or the hot pink nail polish .

Jack looked at Carly again but she made no move towards him or to say anything else, so he opened the front door. Nodding to her he smiled, receiving a small one in return before she took a deep breath and turned to focus on Sage.

As he was closing the door he heard the music go back on and the laughter start again. When the door was shut, he paused a moment just listening to the sounds from inside the house.

Then, with a deep sigh himself, he pulled out his cell phone and tried to think of what reason exactly he was going to tell his fiancée for being incredibly late for the movie.


	3. Like You'll Never See Me Again

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_I only put my arms around those __I fear that I'll never see again.  
__-Angivel of Zanarcadia  
_************************************************************************

For the life of her, Carly couldn't remember where her other black ballet flat was. With one foot bare and the other wearing the mate to the shoe she searched for, Carly was getting anxious. They only had 15 minutes before they had to leave and she was no closer to finding her shoe than she had been a half hour before. Then she remembered that she had slipped them both off downstairs last night before the girl's night with Sage started. Not even bothering to try and figure out why she had only brought one shoe up to her bedroom afterwards, Carly just headed for the stairs.

"Boys, I need you to hurry up. We've got to pick up Sage at dance class before I drop you off at the farm!" Carly yelled over her shoulder, hoping her sons heard her. Getting no response, she half-turned and opened her mouth to try again. As her bare foot began to land on the first step, she didn't see the danger lying in wait.

It was a miniscule item; an inch long, glittery, purple butterfly hair clip that belonged to her daughter. Normally it would have been no problem, but as many people have come to innocently find out, when the hard plastic of a butterfly hair clip meets the soft arch of a bare foot it can cause a shooting pain like no other.

Which is precisely what happened to Carly.

The yell to her boys turned into a gasping cry of pain as she instinctively lifted her foot again off of the offending object. However, in doing so, she also lost her balance and proceeded to tumble head first down the stairs. Time seemed to slow as Carly watched her world go by end over end, before she slipped completely into darkness.

Parker and J.J. both heard the commotion and ran out of their room, cries of "Mom" on their lips. They caught sight of their mother lying at the bottom of the stairs, her head on the floor, hair fanned out around her face and the rest of her body sprawled across the last few steps.

"Oh, God, Mom!" Parker yelled and ran down the stairs, J.J. right behind him. He knelt down and gently shook her shoulder. "Mom, are you okay? Mom, wake up!"

"Parker, is she…?" J.J. asked trailing off into a silent question, his eyes wide and fear in his voice.

"No, she's breathing. I think she hit her head pretty bad though. Call 911!" Parker said, his own voice trembling but firm. He was feeling the same fear as his younger brother but he couldn't show it.

J.J. grabbed the phone and dialed. Moments later he was speaking to the dispatcher and describing what had happened. Parker half-listened but most of his attention was on Carly. He gently smoothed hair away from her face and whispered to her.

"Come on, Mom, wake up. The ambulance is on its way, but it'd be really great if you could just wake up now."

"They said they'll be here in a couple of minutes." J.J. said, breaking into Parker's thoughts. He was now kneeling on Carly's other side, his eyes roaming over their mom's face.

"Good, that's good." Parker answered and then stopped as a low moan caught his attention. "Mom?"

Another moan and then Carly's eyelashes began to flutter. It seemed to take great effort but finally they were fully open. She frowned and glanced from one boy to the other.

"Parker? J.J.?" Her words were soft and slightly slurred, as if she were saying them around a mouth of peanut butter.

"Yeah, Mom, we're here." J.J. said and she frowned more, closing her eyes against the glare of the light.

"What happened?" She asked, trying to raise her left arm to shield her face. She gasped as pain radiated from her wrist up her entire arm.

"Hold still, Mom. You fell down the stairs and hit your head really hard. I think you also landed on your wrist." Parker told her and Carly swallowed, before nodding slightly. She remembered…vaguely.

"The ambulance is on its way." J.J. said and before Carly could say anything the doorbell rang. J.J. grinned at her as he leapt to his feet. "Perfect timing!"

The next ten minutes were slightly chaotic as the EMTs gathered information from Parker and J.J. about just exactly what happened and if she had moved at all from her current position on the floor. Finally they dismissed any type neck trauma other than possible whiplash but they put Carly on a stretcher to take her to the hospital anyway, amid her vehement protests.

"Well, Ms. Tenney, the fact that you're conscious is great, but your pupils aren't reacting as well as we'd like so we need to take you in." A young blond EMT said, whose name tag read J. Dawson.

He braced himself as he saw Carly starting to get worked up again. He and his fellow EMTs had a feeling that this was one lady you didn't cross, no matter how distractingly beautiful she was.

"Now, you listen to me..." Carly began to argue again but J.J. broke in.

"Mom, please, just do what he says."

She looked at him and then at Parker. Both of them were trying hard to act like tough teenagers, but she could read the undercurrents of fear in their faces. Sighing, she nodded again, trying not to show how much that simple physical movement actually hurt to do.

"Fine, but my sons come with me." Carly said and the EMTs looked at each other then back at her. Her eyes narrowed into a no bullshit expression and they all simultaneously swallowed.

"That's fine, ma'am." J. Dawson said again, still apparently the only one brave enough to speak to her, and within moments they were in the ambulance to the hospital.

They were just arriving at the hospital and setting Carly up in an exam room when she suddenly gasped.

"Oh my God, Sage!" She cried, struggling to sit up. The EMT closest to her, gently pushed her back down, trying to calm her. "No, you don't understand. I was supposed to pick up my daughter from dance class 10 minutes ago!"

"Mom! Mom! It's okay. I'll call Lily to pick her up." Parker said, waving his cell phone in her face as if to physically show her he had the means to do it. He motioned to J.J. for him to stay there with their mom and stepped out into ER waiting room.

The phone rang 6 times before going to Lily's voice mail and Parker frowned in frustration. For a brief moment he actually thought about calling Janet, but immediately dismissed it again. Knowing how his mom, not to mention Sage, would react he quickly decided that it wouldn't be in anyone's best interest to start a whole other mess.

Hitting the "end" button he looked down at his phone before making a solid decision. Pressing the speed dial number 3, he once again put the phone to his ear. The person on the other end picked up after only 2 rings.

"Parker?"

"Hey, Dad."

"Hey bud, what's up?" Jack asked, surprised that his son was calling him after barely speaking to him for the past couple of weeks.

"Can you pick up Sage from dance class?" Parker asked.

"What do you mean can I pick up Sage? Dance has been over for 15 minutes already. Didn't your mom get her?" Jack said, frustration rising in his voice.

"No, she couldn't exactly. She was kinda busy." Parker said, shuffling his feet as he tried to avoid what he knew was coming.

"Why not? You mean, she just left her there? If she had a last minute meeting or something at Metro why didn't she call me sooner?" Jack asked, incredulously.

"Dad, stop! Mom fell down the stairs and hit her head. We're at the hospital, okay?" Parker said, cutting off one of his dad's famous bull headed tirades. Then he immediately wished he had relayed the situation a little more gracefully when he heard the sharp intake of air on the other end. "Wait, Dad…"

"I'll be right there!" Jack said and then all Parker heard was silence. Realizing his dad had hung up on him before he could tell him that Carly was okay, Parker just stared at the phone.

"Oh crap."

Parker sighed and lightly hit his head against the wall by the vending machines. He knew that there was nothing he could do now but wait until his dad flew into the ER like a crazy person. He just hoped his mom didn't completely flip when she found out who Parker had called instead of Lily. But the more Parker thought about it, the more he knew that this had disaster written all over it. He sighed again and braced himself as he went to go push back the curtain to his mom's room, briefly wondering how much it would cost to move to Hawaii and how he could access his Aunt Rosanna's trust fund.


	4. Jealousy is a Pain

**Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to a very special group of people...they know who they are :)**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

_Jealousy is that pain which a man feels from the apprehension that he __is not equally beloved by the person whom he entirely loves."  
__-Joseph Addison  
_****************************************************************

When Parker walked in to the makeshift exam room, Carly was sitting up on the gurney where a doctor in a long white lab coat was shining a flashlight in her eyes. Her gaze turned to Parker and the doctor made a disgruntled noise.

"Ms. Tenney, focus." His voice was tinged with an Australian accent and when Parker came around to stand by J.J. on Carly's other side, the man looked up to acknowledge him. "You must be Parker."

Parker frowned and looked confused, but the doctor just smiled.

"I had to ask your mom a series of questions for a quick diagnostics test. You happened to be one of the answers." The doctor said and held out his hand. "My name's Dr. Liam Reynolds, but you can call me Lee."

Parker opened his mouth to protest but Lee raised his eyebrow at him. "If you call me Dr. Reynolds, I swear I will give you a tetanus shot whether you need one or not."

Parker hid a smile and nodded, finally accepting the man's handshake. As he did, Parker quickly took in the man's appearance. He had dark wavy brown hair and eyes that were almost as green as his mom's were blue. Parker couldn't begin to guess how old he was, but he seemed to fit in around his parent's ages. Yet there was an energy that came off of him that made him seem years younger, a lot like his Uncle Brad.

"So how's my mom?" Parker asked and Lee turned back to Carly.

"Well, she didn't break anything, which is a complete miracle from the way your brother describes her position at the bottom of the stairs. Her left wrist is sprained and she has a slight concussion." Lee said, holding Carly's chart to his chest.

"So she needs to stay awake tonight?" Parker asked and Lee looked at him curiously causing Parker to answer his unspoken question. "She's had one before."

Lee frowned and took another look at Carly's chart. He read through her past 5 years of medical history again and nodded. "Okay, I see here that not only have you had a concussion in the past 5 years but you have also had recent brain treatment."

Carly looked down at her hands, not able to look either of her sons in the face at the reminder of last fall. No matter what other people believed, that had been one of the scariest periods in her life. Just the thought of not being able to watch her children grow still made Carly feel nauseous. And while she knew that they had forgiven her for not telling them sooner about her misdiagnosis, she hadn't fully forgiven herself. As for Jack, well, those consequences spoke very loudly every time she looked down at her bare left ring finger.

"…in about a half hour?" Lee's voice broke into her thoughts and she looked up, blinking in confusion.

"I'm sorry, what?" Carly asked and Lee smiled before opening his mouth to speak again. However he never got the chance to repeat his words as the curtain to the exam room was yanked open.

"Mommy!" Sage cried, still in full dance gear, and threw herself at Carly. She held her daughter to her waist, dropping a kiss on top of her head.

Needless to say, a breathless and panicked Jack was right behind her. He practically skidded to a stop as he took in the whole scene before him, his heart pounding away in his chest. His body began to relax when he saw Carly completely awake and unbandaged except for a wrapped wrist, which she held carefully as she hugged their daughter to her.

"I'm okay, Sage." Carly said and when Sage looked over to her brothers for confirmation they nodded.

Carly couldn't help but smile at the large sigh of relief that came out of such a little girl.

"You're really okay?" Jack asked, his eyes taking in every inch of her body. They lingered on her bandaged wrist and then flew to her face.

"Well, you can ask the doctor." Carly said and, for the first time, Jack noticed Lee standing there waiting patiently. Lee looked to Carly for permission to discuss her case and she smiled at him. "It's okay. He's my ex-husband."

Jack's eyes narrowed at the spark of something he saw in the other man's eyes when Carly introduced him as the ex-husband, but soon focused on the doctor's words.

"Well, Carly has a sprained left wrist and a slight concussion." Lee said, reiterating what he had momentarily ago told the others. "However, I was just telling her that since this was not her first head trauma, I would like to schedule her for a CT scan, just to make sure there was no significant damage."

Jack nodded and looked over at Carly and the kids. "How long would that take?"

"If I move now, I can probably set one up within a half hour." Lee said and also looked at Carly, who nodded her agreement. "Okay, then let me see what I can do."

Lee excused himself and despite the buzzing of people around them in the ER there was silence among those in Carly's room. Finally it was Carly who spoke up first.

"What are you doing here, Jack?" She asked curiously, playing with the long strands of Sage's hair as the little girl leaned against her. Carly could feel the tension and worry that still plagued her youngest child begin to leave as she continued the comforting motions.

"Well, Parker called me to pick up Sage from dance. When I heard you were in the hospital, of course I came here." Jack said and Carly frowned, looking over at Parker.

"Lily didn't pick up the phone and I knew we couldn't leave Sage at dance any longer." Parker said shrugging and stiffened as Carly quirked an eyebrow at him. Then he relaxed when she smiled a thank you, before turning back to Jack. She was about to speak when Lee re-entered the room.

"Well, you're all set." Lee said. Carly smiled at him, and then turned to Jack.

"Okay, why don't you take the kids to the farm and…" Carly barely got the beginning of her sentence out before the protests started.

"No way, Mom!"

"Mom, are you kidding?"

"No, Mommy, I wanna stay with you!"

"Carly, you can't be serious?"

Carly held up her hands at the onslaught of voices and blinked rapidly. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Okay, guys, relax."

They all quieted down and Carly took the opportunity to address Lee. "How long will everything take?"

"Well, since there happened to be an opening, I have you scheduled for a CT scan in 20 minutes. So I would say that we could have you out of here within two to two and a half hours."

"Guys," Carly tried again but Parker cut her off.

"Mom, we're staying."

Seeing the stubborn expressions on all of their faces, Carly just sighed in resignation. She wondered why she bothered arguing knowing that they came by their stubbornness honestly, being raised by her and Jack as parents.

"It's only a couple hours, Carly, and then I can drive you and the kids home."

"Fine," Carly sighed again and then raised an eyebrow at him when he just stood there.

"Well in that case, Jack, don't you think you should call someone to let them know where you are?" Carly said and for a moment, Jack was completely confused. Carly lifted her left hand slowly, the pain medication dulling the ache enough for her to wiggle her ring finger at him. Immediately it caused a look of realization to cross his face.

"Oh, yeah. I'll be right back, guys." Jack said and slipped out of the room, his phone already out of his pocket.

Lee had watched their interaction with interest, admittedly much more than just professional. He could tell instantly that there was a deep bond between his patient and her ex-husband and yet there was something else there too. A certain cautious nature, as if at any time one might say or do the wrong thing and it would all become incredibly uncomfortable. He also had to admit that when Carly had wiggled her ring finger at Jack, he had felt relief to know that the other man had some one else in his life. Not seeing a wedding band, he assumed it was a girlfriend or more likely yet, a fiancée.

"Is this gonna hurt my mom?" Sage asked and Lee noticed she was speaking directly to him.

"The actual CT scan won't hurt her a bit, but we do have to give her a shot and that is probably going to feel a little unpleasant." Lee said, who already could see that the girl wasn't going to take any cotton fluff answer. From what he could tell, she clearly inherited the trait from _both_ of her parents.

"Why do you have to give her a shot?" Sage asked, leaning closer to Carly at even the thought of a needle in her immediate vicinity.

"Well, there's dye in the needle and we need it to go through your mom's veins to get a better picture of inside her head. Kind of like dying a human Easter egg." Lee told her and Sage's eyes widened.

"Will her skin turn colors?" Sage asked, her voice low in awe.

"No, but that would be pretty cool, wouldn't it?" Lee said and chuckled when Sage grinned and nodded at him. He lifted his left arm above his head, to shake his sleeve down in order to glance at his watch.

As he did, a tattoo on the inside of the doctor's forearm caught their eyes.

"Eleanor?" Carly asked, quirking an eyebrow. "Your wife?"

"No, not at all." Lee said and nonchalantly rolled up his sleeve to show them all the inked design which totaled maybe 3 inches in length. "I'm sure your boys know what it is."

"Wow, is that a Mustang underneath the name?" J.J. asked, his eyes widening. At 14, if that tattoo meant what he thought it meant, he was definitely impressed.

"Yep, she's my pride and joy." Lee said and even Parker was showing signs of interest.

"You own a horse?" Carly asked, trying to follow the non-existent parts of the conversation.

"Mom!" J.J. said, clearly exasperated by her lack of knowledge. "It's a car; a 1967 Shelby Mustang GT500! It's from the movie _Gone in 60 Seconds_. Remember? We made you watch it like 5 times."

"Oh, yeah," Carly said and began to vaguely remember. "But, actually, I think it was only twice and both times I was wondering why Angelina Jolie had blonde dreadlocks and ridiculously ugly clothes."

"Yeah, cause that's _exactly_ what we guys focus on when we watch the movie." Lee said, rolling his eyes and both Parker and J.J. snickered. Carly glared at them but her lips twitched in an upward smile.

"So you own one?" Carly asked, bringing the topic back to the car and he nodded.

"Yep, I finished restoring her about 3 years ago. I'm working on a 1969 Chevy Camaro Z28 now." Lee said, pride filling his voice and both boys let out a low whistle.

"And where are you doing all of this?" Carly asked, trying to sound casual but when Lee looked at her she knew she hadn't succeeded.

"I bought the Thompson place a couple months ago but just moved in last week."

"Oh, I had heard they had sold it. Nice place; a lot of room." Carly said, thinking about the 25 acres of land that was actually pretty close to the Snyder farm.

"Yep, thinking of putting in a small dirt track, just to keep things fun. It won't cut into the pasture either, so the horses will be fine." Lee said and now Sage's attention was caught.

"You have horses?" She asked, another grin splitting her face.

"Well, only one at the moment, but I am looking to buy another one real soon." Lee said, smiling down at her.

"What's your horse's name?" Sage asked and Lee's eyes twinkled.

"Let me guess," Carly said and smirked at him. "Eleanor?"

"Haha, nope." Lee said and then grinned at Sage in particular. "Spanky."

"Spanky?" Sage cried, a giggle rising in her.

"Well her full name is Sir Spanky Pants of the North, but that's just too much for one poor horse." Lee said, waiting for the inevitable reaction.

"Her?" J.J. exclaimed.

"What can I say? My friend's daughter named her when she was born. Allie was only 4 at the time and very excited about naming her first horse. I didn't have the heart to tell her it was a girl horse. So _she_ became Sir Spanky Pants of the North." Less shrugged, trying to keep a straight face.

They all looked at each other before bursting out laughing, including Parker and J.J. That was how Jack found them when he came back in the room. He looked around at them all, a strange feeling stirring in his stomach as he took in the scene.

"What did I miss?" Jack asked and they all turned to look at him, still chuckling.

"Nothing, Jack." Carly answered for all of them and before Jack could ask again, a page went off on the PA system for Dr. Liam Reynolds.

"Excuse me, I'll be right back and then we'll head up to turn your mom into an Easter egg." Lee said and winked at Sage, who dissolved into giggles again as he left.

Jack watched Lee go with an unreadable expression before turning back to Carly and the kids.

"Jack, are you sure you don't want to take them to the farm? What about Faith and Natalie coming over?" Carly said, resting her chin on Sage's head and looking at Jack.

He just waved a hand and smiled. "It's okay. I spoke with Lily and we'll reschedule. In fact, let's just reschedule the weekend. They're going to be staying with me for Thanksgiving and then through the engagement party weekend anyway. Besides, I think the kids would feel better if they stayed with you."

"Jack," Carly started to protest again but he waved her off…again.

"It's fine, Carly. I can catch up on some paperwork this weekend at the office, that way I can truly enjoy my days off after the holiday."

'Thank you' Carly mouthed and turned to their daughter, who was rapidly becoming more animated in trying to get her attention.

Sage began talking to her mom about her dance class and J.J. and Parker were deep in conversation about some girl named "Eleanor". For the first time in a long time, Jack felt like an outsider and it was definitely not a welcome feeling.

"So," Jack said, a little too loudly as they all stopped to stare at him. He cleared his throat and tried again. "I figured while you were getting your scan done we'd go to the cafeteria and grab dinner."

"Jack, why don't you go across the street to that pizza and arcade? It's still close by and then you guys won't have to eat hospital food." Carly said and looked down into Sage's face, rubbing noses with her as she made a mock disgusted face.

"Are you sure?" Jack said and Carly looked up at him, tucking her blonde curls behind her ears as she nodded.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. By the time you guys get done, I should be getting my results and just about ready to go." Carly answered then grinned at her kids. "Try not to completely embarrass your dad at the arcade games, okay guys?"

"Ha, no promises, Mom!" J.J. said and she laughed, making a move to ruffle his hair but he ducked out of her reach only to be caught in a playful headlock by Jack.

Sage and Carly laughed, but Carly's ever observant eyes noticed that Parker had become quiet again as he stood to the side with his hands deep in his jean pockets. His expression was somber as he watched Jack, J.J. and Sage mildly horse around.

Looking at the clock on the wall, Carly knew that Lee would be back any moment. Calling a halt to the funny business, she agreed to send Jack a text message when she was done and waiting for the results. Soon she was getting hugs goodbye, even from Parker and J.J.

Hugging Parker just a little bit longer she whispered into his ear, "Please go easy on your dad. For me."

Pulling back, Parker met her eye and sighed before giving her a small, nearly imperceptible nod.

Lee suddenly reappeared with a wheelchair, causing everyone to pause and Carly to cringe.

"Do I have to ride in that thing?" Carly asked, eyeing it with loathing.

"Hospital rule, but I promise to pop a few wheelies as I push." Lee joked and Carly smiled. The kids saw that everything was fine and began to walk again, with Jack slowly following behind. At his pace he couldn't help but overhear Carly and Lee talking as he settled her into the wheelchair.

"So how about those wheelies, Doc?"

"You daredevil, you!" Lee jokingly exclaimed and Carly's laugh floated back to Jack as she disappeared around the corner with Lee.

Jack felt his stomach turn and again he couldn't put a finger on the feeling that was coursing through his body. A tug on his hand caused him to focus on his surroundings and he found himself looking down into his daughter's face.

"Daddy? We're hungry." Sage said and Jack looked up to where Parker and J.J. stood watching and waiting for him.

"Yeah?" Jack said and shook off whatever it was that had rooted him in the spot moments before. He bent down and hefted her up into a low slung football hold, making her laugh. "Tell me something new. You guys are always hungry!"

Parker and J.J. just rolled their eyes, but smiled before leading the way out of the hospital and to the family friendly pizza arcade across the way.


	5. The Power of Flirtation

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Women do not know all __their powers of flirtation."  
__-François de la Rochefoucauld  
_******************************************************************

"So the results are fine?" Jack asked, just to be on the safe side. They all now sat in Lee's small but comfortable office, staring at the light board that held Carly's CT scans. Carly and Jack sat in the office chairs with Sage situated on Carly's lap, Parker and J.J. had claimed the nearby couch, while Lee hovered on the edge of his desk.

"The scan showed no bruising on the brain or any clots. Other than that wrist and what I'm sure is now a pounding headache, you are just fine." Lee said, directing his answer to Carly. "Your wrist really is a minor sprain, no fracturing at all, so it only needs to be wrapped for a couple of weeks. After that, there are mild therapeutic exercises that you can do at home and you're in the clear."

"Great!" She said and gently slid Sage off her lap to stand up. "Then can I go home now?"

"Free to go!" Lee said and for a very brief, unprofessional moment he wished there was something that she did need to stay for.

"Okay, well, it's freezing out so I'll pull the car around and meet you guys out front." Jack said and Carly nodded, allowing him to help her into her coat. Shaking Lee's hand and thanking him again, Jack left the office.

"Yes, thank you for everything." Carly said, reaching out to shake Lee's hand herself. She blushed when Lee held it a moment longer than necessary and began to busy herself with Sage's coat to hide it.

"Good luck with your Camaro." Parker said and J.J. nodded. The envy on their faces gave Lee an idea.

He looked at Carly and then at Parker and J.J., a twinkle suddenly in his eye. "Well, you know, I could always use some help with fixing her up on the weekends. Sometimes even after school."

"Really?" J.J. said and Lee nodded.

"In fact, why don't you guys come over tomorrow afternoon to take a look at her?" Lee said and despite their outwardly cool teenaged exterior, their eyes lit up. Then he added, "On one condition."

"What's that?" Parker asked, his eyes narrowing.

"That you let me take your mom out to dinner tomorrow night." Lee said and he suppressed a grin at the gasp of disbelief that came from Carly's direction.

"Let me get this straight. To go on a date with me you are bribing with my two teenaged sons with a vintage muscle car?" She asked, in amazement.

"Um, yep, looks like it." Lee said, unapologetically and turned his attention back to Parker and J.J, both of whom were trying to hide grins. They looked at each other and then Parker nodded.

"Deal."

"Excuse me!" Carly cried her hands going to her hips, sprained wrist and all, and her facial expression incredulous.

"Mom, you gotta admit. It's a pretty sweet car." J.J. said and at the sight of their mom's eyes widening both boys started laughing.

"What about me? I don't like building cars!" Sage piped up, her eyes narrowing like her older brother's had a moment ago.

"Well, Luv, I guess I'll just have to let you ride Spanky any time you want. You can start tomorrow too!" Lee said and Sage's frown became a grin especially at the increase of Lee's Australian accent.

"Deal!" Sage said triumphantly.

"Wait, just a minute! Sage, you already have a birthday party to go to tomorrow, remember? Not only that but you can ride whenever you want over at the farm." Carly said, trying to appeal to her daughter.

"Yeah, but he said any time not just tomorrow. And none of the horses at the farm are named Sir Spanky of the North!" Sage said and joined her brothers in their peals of laughter.

"I can't believe this! Sold like a prize at auction for a broken down car and a horse with a gender crisis!" Carly said and began to shoo her brood to the door. "Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you all but _I_ have to work tomorrow after dropping Sage at the party. So I can't be running back and forth all over the place."

"Well, if you just drop Parker and J.J. off before you go to work then I can drive them home when I come pick you up for our date. We'll even stop to pick up something for them to eat dinner, that way you don't have to cook and can just concentrate on getting ready." Lee said, as if it made the most sense in the world. Carly looked at him like he had two heads, biting her lip to keep from smiling.

"You're crazy." Carly retorted and again motioned for them to leave.

"So I'll pick you up at 7?" Lee asked, just before they slipped out the door.

"Oh, I don't think so!" Carly said and before Lee could say anything, they were gone.

His smile faded as he stood staring at his office door and then turned to take Carly's CT scans off of the light board. At the sound of the door opening again, he whirled around to see her poke her head in and look at him.

"Make it 7:30, bring Chinese, and flowers couldn't hurt." Carly said quirking an eyebrow at him. "Oh and Lee?"

He looked at her, waiting.

"You'd better be driving 'Eleanor'."

The smile Lee wore when the door closed again could have lit up an entire city block.


	6. Those Who Matter

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

_Be who you are and say what you feel, __because those who mind don't matter __and those who matter don't mind.  
__-Dr. Seuss  
_***********************************************************************

"Guys, are you sure about this?" Carly asked her two sons for what seemed to be the umpteenth time on the way to Lee's farm. She had just dropped Sage off at her friend's indoor pool party, where she would go on to a play date before being dropped off at home around seven that evening.

"Mom, the man is a doctor not some psycho. Besides, we're just going over to help fix up a car. It's fine!" J.J. said, rolling his eyes again for what he _knew_ to be the umpteenth time in response to his mom.

J.J.'s comment only caused Carly to think about that maniac Weston and what he had done to her, Rose, and Emily all those years ago. He had been a doctor _and_ a raving psycho. Suddenly, despite all rational thought to prove otherwise, Carly wanted to go home.

"Mom, relax. Do you really think you'd let us go to someone's house that you didn't trust. Or that I didn't trust?" Parker finally spoke up and Carly paused a moment. What her oldest son said was true, especially about his instincts. Her thoughts went from Weston to that creep Sam and what had almost happened to her at the beginning of the year, causing her stomach to flip. Parker noticed the change in her posture and mentally kicked himself.

"I'm sorry, Mom." Parker said softly, so that only she could hear him. She reached over to gently squeeze his hand before shaking everything off.

"No, you're right. I'm sorry." She said and slowed down as the pulled up in front of large and beautifully kept farmhouse. Carly had barely put the car in park before both boys jumped out. "Wait, do you guys want me to…"

She trailed off as they were already halfway down the long lane that she could see led to an overly large converted shed.

"Bye!" Carly shouted after them and it was she who rolled her eyes this time at the half-hearted waves sent back to the car. She watched as Lee came out from the garage, wiping his hands on a rag. They stopped to talk before Lee looked up and waved in her direction then turned to head back in, Parker and J.J. right behind him.

"Men." She muttered under her breath as she turned around and headed back into town.

Lee subtly watched Carly's car disappear down the road and paused before fully entering the garage, remembering why he came out in the first place.

"Guys, I have to grab a couple of tools from the house. Go ahead in. Matt's already started with the new fuel line."

Before Parker or J.J. could ask who that was, Lee bounded towards the house. The two brothers just looked at each other and shrugged before heading into the garage.

The shed was the size of a decent two to three car garage that contained all the makings of an auto body shop, along with a beautiful Harley Davidson bike standing off to the one side.

In the middle of the floor was the Camaro, it's yellow paint dull but just waiting to be painted over. Parker slowly walked around it, taking it all in. The basic frame work had been completed and it was obviously done with a loving touch. All that was needed were the minor details and…

A sharp curse broke into Parker thoughts and looking at J.J., he saw the same confusion on his younger brother's face. Their attention was finally drawn to a pair of coverall covered legs poking out from under the front of the car. They could hear the clinking of metal tools against the under belly of the car and then another sharp curse.

"Hey, you okay, man?" Parker asked but got no response. Using the toe of his sneaker, he forcefully nudged the boot of the person under the car. "Hey!"

"Hey, yourself! What the hell is your problem?" An Australian accent voice came from under the car and the person rolled themselves out. Standing up, Parker's eyes widened as he stared into the oil smudged face of a girl.

She looked about the same age as him with long brown hair, pulled up in a ponytail, and a smattering of light freckles across her pert nose. Full lips and high cheekbones gave way to extremely expressive eyes. Her skin was that naturally deep healthy tan that most girls spent tons of money achieving at a tanning salon but never quite pulled off. Yet with all this Parker kept being pulled back to look at her eyes. They were so green that for a moment Parker doubted that they were real and not some type of contact lenses.

"Um, I asked you a question! Why did you kick me, you wanker?" Her angry voice brought Parker back to reality and he blinked hard at the weird, yet obvious, insult at the end of the sentence.

"I, uh…" Parker said and finally J.J. couldn't take anymore.

"You didn't answer when he asked you if you were okay. What did you want him to do, wait until you sliced a finger off?"

The girl's narrowed gaze slid to J.J. and after a moment, her eyes began to twinkle and she grinned.

"Oh, right then. Well, I guess I didn't hear you under 'Sheila'." She said, turning her bright smile to Parker.

"Sheila?" Parker asked and she nodded, jerking a thumb in the direction of the Camaro.

"Yeah, it's what my uncle and I decided to name her."

"Uncle?" Parker echoed her again and the girl tilted her head to look at him curiously.

"Is he always this witty?" She asked J.J. who just shrugged.

"Only around girls." J.J. replied and that earned him a death glare from his older brother. But the sound of the girl's laugh caused Parker to suddenly feel all warm inside and he couldn't resist a blushing smile.

"I'm J.J. and that's…" J.J. said.

"Parker." Parker interrupted his brother, finally finding his voice to speak.

"Nice to meet you. I'm…"

"Oh good! I see you met Matt." Lee's voice boomed out in the shed and they turned to look at him.

"Uncle Lee, please. Can't you at least try to call me Mattie? I mean, just a little effort on your part would be _beaut_." Mattie said, but her tone was affectionate as he slung an arm around her shoulder and dropped a kiss to her head. She rolled her eyes at Parker and J.J. but leaned comfortably into Lee's side.

"Yeah, well, I'm glad you all have gotten acquainted. She'll actually be starting your grade in January, Parker, come to think about it." Lee said and then as if a switch was flipped, his attention was on the car.

"So, how did it look Matt…Mattie?" Lee said and Mattie shook her head.

"I was gonna say that it'll take me a few more hours, Uncle. But now that Parker and J.J. are here, it won't take very long at all." Mattie said sending both boys another grin.

"Great! J.J. why don't you help me bang out the back fender and Parker you can help Mattie with the fuel line." Lee said and J.J. grinned as his brother's eyes darted over to Mattie in what looked to be pure panic.

"Sounds good to me, Lee. Do I get the mallet or the blow torch?" J.J. said a little too eagerly and Lee rolled his eyes.

"Hmmm, maybe we should re-think this, mate. You and fire suddenly don't seem like a good combination." Lee joked as he motioned J.J. to follow him, both of them laughing as they walked away.

Even though they were only a couple of yards away, the spot that Mattie and Parker now stood sounded very quiet. She tossed him a look before gesturing towards the car.

"You ready, Yank?" She asked and Parker's eyes widened. For some unknown reason, the sparkle in her eye and the instant nickname unexpectedly seemed to calm him and he grinned back.

"You bet, Oz." Parker replied and this time it was Mattie whose eyes got large. Then letting out a full bellied laugh she grinned at him.

"Then let's get to it. 'Sheila' won't fix herself."


	7. The Difference Between Friendship & Love

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_The difference between friendship and love is how much you can hurt each other"  
__-Ashleigh Brilliant  
_************************************************************************

"Okay guys, I think now's a good time to go get cleaned up before I take you home." Lee's voice interrupted everyone's work.

Parker looked down at his watch, surprised to find that it was already 6:30 in the evening. He couldn't believe how fast the afternoon had flown by as they worked on the car. After the initial awkwardness had passed, he found that he a lot in common with Mattie. They liked the same music...although she was a little more into hip-hop than he was. They liked the same types of movies...even though she couldn't stand Steven Segal and he loved him. And she liked sports...well most of them. They had disagreed on the subject of American football and whether rugby was a better sport, but it was more like a brief debate than an actual fight.

In fact, the only time they had really argued that day was Parker's fault when he commented that he was surprised a girl liked working on vintage cars. That had earned him a good 20 minutes of the cold shoulder before he apologized and took the statement back. Mattie had socked him firmly in the gut, told him not to be a chauvinistic pig ever again, and then gone back to joking with him as she had the entire day.

Parker still missed Liberty, so much that it physically hurt sometimes, but he was surprised to find that today had been the first time in a long time that he had enjoyed himself around another girl. Even after one short afternoon, he felt that he had known Mattie for a long time and hated the thought of ending the day.

"Hey, what are you doing tonight?" Parker suddenly asked as he helped her to her feet.

"Um, nothing. I was going to do some studying for an exam and then just watch a couple movies before bed." Mattie said, brushing some loose dirt off her legs.

Parker had learned that Mattie had gone to a private school in Australia before moving here and that their curriculum had been a semester ahead. She was currently finishing up her workload via an internet home school program before starting at Oakdale High in January like Lee had said. She didn't really know anyone yet and while she had met a few of the local kids while in Old Town, she couldn't really call them friends.

"Well, do you want to come over and do all of that stuff at our house?" Parker asked and she looked at him curiously, causing him to continue in a rush. "Well your uncle is coming over to take my mom out and he has to drop her off later anyway so he can just take you home then and you won't have to sit at home alone."

Mattie just stared at him before letting out a sharp laugh. "Yank, you are too weird."

Parker paused and grinned back. "Is that a yes?"

"Hey, Uncle Lee, can I hang out at Parker and J.J.'s house tonight while you're gone?" Mattie called to her uncle instead of answering Parker directly. However her mischievous eyes stayed on the boy in front of her.

Lee wandered over and frowned. "I dunno, Luv. Do you think it'd be okay with your mom, Parker?"

"Sure, I don't see why not." Parker said and looked to J.J. for support.

"Yeah, she won't care. Beside, I'm sure Sage will be thrilled to have another girl there." J.J. said, coming over while wiping his hands on his already completely filthy jeans.

"Sage? Oh right, your sister." Mattie said, remembering from her conversations from Parker today. "Hey, I have the new Wii sports game. I could bring that! You said you already have four controllers, so I'll just bring my racing wheel."

"You have the new Extreme Scream Sports pack with the Indy car extra?" J.J. asked and at her nod, he turned to Lee. "Oh that's it. She's definitely coming over."

"Um, so is it okay?" Parker asked, throwing his brother a look, and Lee threw his hands up in the air.

"I give up. Three against one is not fair. Especially when I am running out of time before I pick up your mom and I'm in desperate need of a shower! If you call and if she says it's okay, then it's fine with me."

Parker did just that and sure enough, Carly had no problem with Mattie coming over to hang out as long as she got the promise of no funny business while she was gone. Blushing profusely, Parker had whispered into the phone that the situation was not like that and ended up having to hang up on his mom because she was laughing too hard in his ear.

Thirty minutes later, with both Mattie and Lee showered and changed, they headed to the real garage where the beautifully restored "Eleanor" sat in all her glory. The sleek silver car shined like she was in mint condition, yet the inside leather seats were subtly worn with the air of a car that was often used. J.J. immediately called "shot-gun" and waited until Parker and Mattie had gotten into the back before sliding into the front passenger seat with a happy sigh.

Mattie appreciated the way that both J.J. and Parker's jaws dropped when Lee started "Eleanor" up; the sound of the deep purring engine had always sent shivers up her spine too. Lee briefly showed off his driving skills and let the teens get the feel truly riding in of one of the great muscle cars of all time before settling down into a relaxed and smooth drive back to Milltown. Reaching over, Lee switched on the radio, blasting the local classic rock station. Soon they were all singing along at the tops of their lungs, with Lee doing drums on the steering wheel, J.J. head banging in the front passenger side and Parker and Mattie doing air guitar in the back seat.

After two brief stops to pick up Chinese food and a bouquet of flowers, they were opening the front door of the house.

"Hey Mom, we're home." Parker called out.

"And we brought company." J.J. echoed, earning a nudge in the ribs from Parker.

"J.J.! Parker! You're home!" Sage came bounding in from the kitchen, her hair in two long French braids. She stopped short of running full steam into them. "Oh, hi, Lee!"

"Hey Sage. How was the party you went to today, Luv?" Lee asked and Sage gave him a huge smile.

"It was awesome. There were relay races and then we played volleyball and basketball in the pool and then we played this crazy game called Greased Watermelon and I made the final push into the goal for my team. The pool was heated though so when I got out it was so cold that my lips turned blue and…"

"Sage, honey, catch your breath. Maybe even let Lee get a word in now and then." Carly said, coming out of the kitchen with a pile of plates in her good hand. Dressed in her long black bathrobe with her hair piled on top of her head in a halo of curls, she looked up to see everyone standing there and smiled somewhat sheepishly.

"Hi guys," Carly said, pulling her robe closed tighter. "I'm so sorry, Lee. I'll be ready in a moment. Because of my wrist I am having trouble getting the zipper of my dress up and so I had to wait for Sage to get home but then she was late in getting dropped off and…"

She trailed off and cleared her throat, in an attempt to stop rambling like she had told her daughter to do only a moment before. Lee just stood there, holding back a laugh, and finally she rolled her eyes at him, trying to hide her own smile.

Mattie grinned at this vivacious woman in front of her and cleared her own throat. "Hi, Ms. Tenney. I'm Mattie, Lee's niece. Thank you for letting me come over tonight."

"Hi Mattie, call me Carly please. I'm glad you could come. I'm sure Sage is thrilled to not be outnumbered by her brothers for once." Carly said moving forward to shake the young girl's hand.

She quickly took in that the girl could model professionally, especially with her abnormally green eyes and shiny long brown hair that reached her mid back. Yet Carly got the impression that she seemed to be totally unaware of how pretty she was. Dressed in a fitted yet comfortable looking deep teal velour track suit from a trendy couture designer, she obviously enjoyed fashion but didn't seem to be flaunting it.

A quick tug on her arm made her look down at Sage, who jerked her head subtly towards where Lee still stood. Realizing that she had gone off on a "fashion designer eyeing up a model" tangent, she blushed.

"Okay, so I'm going to go get ready now." Carly said, pointing and turning to go upstairs, Sage on her heels.

"Ms. Tenn…Carly, do you need any more help?" Mattie asked and Carly turned to smile back at her.

"That'd be nice, thank you. With this stupid wrist, I need all the help I can get." Carly joked.

"Well then, I'm sure the boys wouldn't mind setting the table and putting the food out, right?" Mattie said, her eyes twinkling at them as they looked at her like she was crazy.

"Who? Us?" J.J. said and the females all laughed.

"Oh, come on. It's not that hard. I bet you a weekend of action movies that you can't get it done before we come back down." Carly teased, seeing the expressions on their faces.

"Oh yeah?" Lee asked, piping up.

"Yeah!" Sage joined in.

"You're on, Oz!" Parker said, sticking out his hand.

"Bring it, Yank!" Mattie said and after a quick shake they all went their separate ways.

As tedious as it had sounded when Carly made the challenge soon Lee, J.J. and Parker found a pretty fun system. Even though it literally included them throwing plates and silverware to each other, except knives of course, they had almost completed setting the table when the doorbell rang.

It startled them and Lee dropped a fork, hard, onto one of the plates causing a loud clatter.

"Don't you dare break any of my dishes, Lee!" Carly's voice yelled from upstairs and Lee shot the two younger boys a wide eyed 'how the hell did she know' look.

Parker and J.J. just shrugged and grinned at each other, having been on the receiving end of that mysterious talent many times over. At the second doorbell ring, Lee motioned that he would answer it while Parker and J.J. put the food out.

Swinging it open, he found himself face to face with a very surprised Jack.

"Dr. Reynolds?" Jack asked, the confusion in his voice turning to panic. "Is Carly okay?"

"Lee, please, and yes, Carly's fine." Lee said, stepping back to let Jack pass him into the house.

Jack saw Parker and J.J. looking at him from by the table with expressions not unlike deer caught in headlights. Again he turned to talk to Lee, his confusion back.

"If Carly's fine then what are you…" Jack began but the sound of voices cut him off.

"Lee, I swear, my dining room better still be in one piece or so help me I'll…" Carly said, finally coming into view as she finished putting her other earring on. She stopped short, causing Mattie and Sage to nearly bump into her.

"Jack." Carly said simply, staring at him. Her mind flashed back to the beginning of the summer when they were in a similar situation; her coming down the stairs for a date, coincidentally with another accented man, and finding him standing in her living room with her ex-husband.

Jack found that he couldn't speak as he looked at her, barely able to keep his jaw from dropping.

She was wearing a simple black dress that reached just above her knees. The sleeves were long so that they covered her wrapped wrist but it was also cut so that it exposed one creamy shoulder. Whatever the dress material was, it followed her curves and moved with her body creating a very mouth drying effect. Her hair was still piled up and she now wore black drop earrings and daringly high black stilettos. Her makeup was simple and flawless, the only accent being the thick dark eyeliner that emphasized the brightness of her blue eyes.

Jack felt his groin tighten as he continued to stare at her. It was quickly followed by his heart tightening when his brain pointed out that she wasn't dressed up for him.

"Jack, what are you doing here?" Carly asked finally coming down the stairs all the way and allowing Sage and Mattie to slide by her. The two younger females scooted over sit at the dining room table with Parker and J.J. All four kids began to eat their rapidly cooling dinner, their eyes bouncing between each adult like they were watching a three-way tennis match.

"I, uh, I came to see how you were feeling." Jack said, somehow managing to make words come out of his mouth while his brain was still stuck on the image she presented.

"Oh, well, I'm fine. I'm on my way out actually." Carly said, glancing at Lee who just stood there calmly, his hands in his pants pockets.

Jack looked over too, his brows furrowing as he fully took in Lee's dark and handsomely cut suit, along with the familiar scent of aftershave.

"Oh, well," Jack said then looked over at the kids. "Who's watching the kids?"

"Well, between Parker, J.J., and Mattie I think they are okay here alone with Sage for a couple of hours. But I have Mrs. O'Neil checking in on them a couple times until I get home, just in case." Carly said, mentioning the one of neighbors who had known the kids since they moved into the house at Milltown.

"Mattie?" Jack asked and then noticed the very pretty young girl who was sitting next to Sage at the table.

"Oh, sorry. Jack, this is Mattie, Lee's niece." Carly said and Mattie waved at him, although a bit unsurely.

"Hi Mattie, nice to meet you." Jack said giving the girl a smile before turning to Carly, the same smile frozen on his face. "Can I talk to you for a second, please?"

"Well, I think we have reservations..." Carly said turning to look at Lee, but Jack steered her towards the kitchen by a gentle but firm pressure on the small of her back.

"It'll only take a second." Jack growled out in a falsely cheerful tone. Carly threw an apologetic look over her shoulder before disappearing into the kitchen with Jack.

Once there she immediately stepped away from him and turned around to glare.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" Carly snapped at him, her eyes blazing.

"What am _I_ doing?" Jack repeated in astonishment. "What are _you_ doing? You're leaving our kids alone in the house while you go on a date? Why didn't you call me to come get them?"

"Jack, you told me in the hospital yesterday that you were going to work tonight. How was I supposed to know that you left early?" Carly asked, resisting the urge to run her hands through her perfectly done hair in frustration.

"Well, if Mrs. O'Neil is going to be checking in, why can't she just come over here and stay with them?"

"Jack, calm down! What's the difference if Mrs. O'Neil is in this house or next door at hers? Parker and Mattie are both almost 16, J.J. is 14, and Sage is 10. I know they aren't babies but I also don't think they are going to be throwing a wild keg party! What they _are_ going to do is play some video games and maybe squeeze in a movie before I get home, if they're lucky." Carly said, exasperated.

"That's another thing! Who is this girl? You're okay leaving two teenagers alone together in this house after everything that's happened?" Jack asked.

"Oh, come on, Jack. Mattie is a nice girl and..." Carly said but Jack cut her off.

"So, what you're saying is that Liberty isn't a nice girl?"

"I never said that! Don't put words in my mouth, Jack!" Carly glared at him, crossing her arms over her chest. "I just meant that I trust Mattie and Parker to behave appropriately. I have to at some point, don't I? Plus J.J. and Sage will help chaperone."

"Oh that's just great, Carly! A teenaged boy who is distracted by any new cool video game and a little girl who would probably think nothing of being told to play in her room for a while." Jack said sarcastically. "What happens if there is a fire or Sage gets hurt or...or...someone eats too much junk food?"

"Jack, the answers to those problems are the same as they would be if there is an adult here or just a house away. They call 911; they call 911; they get sick and _hopefully_ learn never to do it again." Carly said, ticking off the answers to his questions on her fingers.

"But what if…" Jack started again and Carly looked up at the ceiling, blowing out a sigh of aggravation.

"You know what, Jack? I'm done having this conversation with you! I trust the kids and I trust Mrs. O'Neil to check on them for the few short hours that I am at a _nice_ dinner with a _nice_ guy. You can call the house every 15 minutes for all I care, but Lee and I are leaving now." Carly said, suddenly very tired of fighting with him. She turned to begin to walk out of the kitchen.

"Well, maybe I'll just take the kids with me back to the farm then, since their safety obviously isn't a priority to you." Jack said, pulling out the big guns. Almost instantly Jack regretted the words as he watched Carly stop dead in her tracks, her whole body stiffening. She turned slowly and the ice that he saw in her eyes carried over into her voice.

"Jack Snyder, I think I might actually hate you at this moment." Carly said, her voice low and he could almost feel the emotional damage he had caused with that one stupid statement.

She paused and drew in a breath, obviously trying to gather herself together.

"You are more than welcome to see your children whenever you want, but do not _ever_ imply that I would purposely put them in danger. Not after everything that this family has been through, especially in these past few years. You, of all people, should know that." Carly told him, watching him coldly and barely containing the rage and hurt that was swirling inside her.

They just stared at each other with Jack desperately wanting to apologize but the words sticking on his stubborn tongue. A cheer from the living room interrupted their standoff and Jack watched Carly's shoulders drop as if a heavy weight had suddenly descended on her.

"Just…do what you want, Jack. You always do." Carly said, practically in a whisper then turned and slipped out of the kitchen.

Jack stood there a moment longer before following her into the living room. He noticed that she was silently standing behind the couch watching the kids and Lee play the new Wii game that Mattie had brought with her. There was a faint but sad smile on her face and when it was accompanied by a brief lone tear that she quickly wiped away, Jack mentally kicked himself for being the one to put it there.

"Oh, in your face!" Mattie yelled and fist bumped her partner, Sage, as they scored another point in the tennis match they were playing versus Lee and Parker.

"Lucky shot!" Parker said back and rolled his eyes as both Sage and Mattie stuck their tongues out.

"Cheating actually! I'm pretty sure, Mattie, you're not allowed to elbow your poor old uncle in the ribs as he's preparing to serve!" Lee said and they started laughing. Lee noticed Carly out of the corner of his eye and turned to face her and Jack.

Lee had been prepared to wait quietly for Jack and Carly to finish their discussion but when the yelling had started he noticed how much it upset the kids, especially Sage. When no one seemed interested in eating anymore, he had suggested breaking out the Wii game, knowing that the interaction would cover most of the sound from the other room.

"Um, I was able to push back our reservation. Are you ready to go?" Lee said and noticed as Carly sent a look to Jack, who nodded indiscreetly.

"Yes, just let me get my coat." Carly said and headed over to the hooks by the door.

Jack's eyes followed her movements and then sighing he turned to his kids. "I'd better get going. I'll see you all soon. Don't forget, J.J., soccer game on Monday night."

"Yup, got it Dad." J.J. said, nodding to him.

"Alright, I love you guys. See you later." Jack said and headed to the door. He paused and turned to look at Carly and Lee, who was helping her on with her coat. "Um, have a good time."

"Thank you." Lee said, but Carly just nodded stiffly, not even glancing in his direction.

Jack frowned but didn't say anything as he let himself out. Lee could feel the tension in Carly's shoulders and gave them a subtle squeeze, before stepping out of her personal space. How Lee knew that was just what she needed was a mystery but she looked up at him and smiled, before turning to the kids.

"Okay, you guys, we won't be back late. Just try to contain yourselves for a couple hours, please." Carly said, trying to push what had just happened between her and Jack to the back of her mind.

"Don't worry, Mom. The party invite we sent out was kinda last minute so who knows how many people will actually show up." J.J. joked and Carly gave him a look, her lips twitching in a smile.

"What party?" Sage innocently asked causing J.J., Parker, and Mattie to groan, the female teen affectionately patting the little girl's head as Sage sat down on the sofa.

"Well, Mrs. O'Neil is next door if you need her and you can always call…your dad if you have any problems." Carly said, hoping they didn't notice her pause when she mentioned Jack.

"We'll be fine, Mom. Just go already, before you have to change your reservation again." Parker said and Carly smiled at him. He could tell she was really trying but the happiness and light in her eyes from earlier were gone.

"Okay, we're going. Love you!" Carly said as Lee shooed her out the door with an eye roll and wink thrown back at them. Finally they heard "Eleanor" start up and pull away.

There was silence in the room for a long moment until J.J. spoke up.

"I love Dad but why does he _always_ have to ruin everything?" J.J. said, angrily plopping down on the couch.

"J.J." Mattie said firmly, noticing the tears welling up in Sage's eyes.

"He does not! You take it back!" Sage cried, her fists balling up by her sides.

"Oh yeah? Then why does he always have to make Mom cry?" J.J. asked her, his own frustrations and loyalties blinding him to the pain he was causing his younger sibling.

"Stop it! He loves Mommy! He's just mad because he's stuck marrying stupid Janet!" Sage sobbed. Her whole body was shaking now and she couldn't stop herself. "We're his family! He loves us! _We're_ his family!"

Mattie had heard some of what Sage had said and done to break up Jack and Janet and while a lot of people would just label her as a troublemaker, the teenaged girl saw what lay beneath. All Sage wanted was for her world to make sense and to her that was her parents together like she remembered when she was little. Too familiar with those same feelings, Mattie sat down on the couch too, wrapping her arms around the young girl's shoulders.

"It's okay, Sage. It'll be okay." Mattie whispered to her, rocking her gently. Sage let out some of what had been building inside, somehow finding it easier to lean on this girl who was practically a stranger than her brothers. Maybe they were too close to see how much this was really hurting her, but Mattie had noticed.

And finally J.J. noticed as well and frowned. "I'm sorry, Sage. I didn't mean it. I know Dad loves us. It's just..."

He trailed off and looked down at the video game controller in his hands and sighed. "I want things back the way they were too."

Sage looked at her older brother, who was always so careful to maintain his happy-go-lucky exterior, especially with her. Slowly Sage sat up and leaned away from Mattie, only to lay her head back down on J.J.'s shoulder. He sighed again, then smiled sadly, wrapping one around his baby sister and hugging her close.

Parker had watched all of this in silence and now finally joined the rest of them on the sofa, leaning his head back to stare at the ceiling.

Poor Sage, she loved both their parents so much that it was obviously pulling her in two very different directions. Of course, underneath it all, she wanted Jack to be happy, but out of loyalty to her mom she firmly believed that it couldn't really be with anyone but Carly. Not taking into account her already overactive imagination, Parker had made the mistake of encouraging her to try and break Jack and Janet up, before he fully realized the consequences. Parker had just wanted to be with Liberty so badly that he didn't understand that he had been pushing his little sister in the one direction that both Jack and Carly had tried so hard to steer her away from.

Parker also knew that with everything that had happened to J.J. in his life, especially with losing his first mom and then nearly losing Carly several times over, he would always defend her against Jack when it came down to it. Just as Parker knew that despite how close he had been with his mom when he was younger, there was some kind of intangible bond between him and Jack; had been for as long as Parker could remember. It didn't seem to matter than neither boy was biologically related to the parent they felt closest with, it just happened to work out that way.

And yet, tonight, Parker couldn't help but agree with J.J.

For the first time in while, his mom's eyes had lit up with a real smile when it hadn't been just her and them. Lee made her laugh and be silly, like she was back when…

"Was it always like this?" Mattie asked softly, calmly stroking her hand over Sage's hair. Her Australian accent seemed much more noticeable in the hushed room.

Parker was quiet as he gathered his thoughts before he answered.

"No," he said finally. "When they are together and they are good...man, they are amazing. It's like nothing in the world can harm you, even though usually it tries."

"We go apple picking and then have contests to see who got the most and who can peel fastest." Sage suddenly spoke up.

"And there's family movie nights, even though Mom is usually out voted on what we watch." J.J. said, cracking a smile.

"We have barbecues that end up in food fights where you have to be hosed down afterwards." Parker said, smiling at his siblings.

"I miss it when Mommy reads to me at night and then Daddy comes in to sing to me until I fall asleep." Sage said, her voice quieter now.

"When I bring home a garden snake and Dad chases Mom around the house with it while she's threatening to hit him with a frying pan." J.J. added, his eyes twinkling.

"Or when you are lying in your bed at night and you just listen to them talking low and laughing downstairs, knowing that they think you're asleep." Parker said softly.

All three of them fell silent again, lost in individual memories of the many happy times. And there were many...they just seemed so far away now.

Then Parker sighed, looking back at Mattie, suddenly remembering she was there.

"But when they're bad…" Parker frowned, trying to put into words just how hopeless it all seemed sometimes.

"It's like even divine intervention couldn't make it work." Mattie finished for him, laying her head back against the couch like him, and he looked at her sharply.

"Yeah," he whispered out and she met his gaze. The pain there echoed in her own eyes and instantly Parker recognized that she had gone through something very similar. It occurred to him then that through all of their talking today he didn't know anything about her family other than the fact that Lee was her uncle. Where were her parents? Did she have any siblings?

Mattie read the unspoken questions in his eyes and shook her head. She couldn't or wouldn't answer them tonight. Despite the feeling of strong friendship between them, they really had only known each other for less than 24 hours.

She sat up abruptly and shook herself off. "Okay, well this definitely not how I saw this night going. Come on, what do you say we get back on track?"

Parker recognized what she was doing and nodded, knowing that sitting there moping wasn't going to help anyone. "Sure, what do you suggest?"

"How about Sage and I versus you and J.J. in the super triathlon mode? The losers have to clean up dinner _and_ make the winners ice cream sundaes however they want." Mattie said, raising an eyebrow at the two boys.

"Puh-leese, Oz! You're gonna lose in five minutes flat." Parker said, rolling his eyes at J.J. who smirked back, both boys feeling incredibly confident.

"Wait, we don't have stuff to make sundaes." Sage piped up leaning forward to frown at them.

"Sage, come on." Mattie said, grinning at her and rising from the couch. "You think my uncle would pick up flowers for your mom at the store and not slip in sundae materials? He may be bossy and weird, but he is definitely not stupid!"

As they all got up and headed towards the kitchen, discussing the best and worst toppings for sundaes, Parker slowed and paused by the fireplace mantle. His eyes caught a photograph half hidden behind the potten plant that rested there. It was from J.J.'s last birthday when Jack had tried to gently smash birthday cake in Carly's face but she had surprised him and gotten him first. The camera had caught them all laughing, with his dad's arm around his mom's shoulder. Everyone had ended the day smiling and for one shining moment, the Snyders had truly been a family again.

Frowning and closing his eyes, Parker sighed heavily. He reached up and straighted the picture, his fingers running down the side of the smooth gold frame a moment longer before he followed the sounds in the kitchen and joined the others.


	8. First Love's Ignorance

**Author's Note: Dear readers...blackmail works...nuff said ;-)**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can ever end."  
_-_Benjamin Disraeli  
_************************************************************************

"Mom, can I go over to Sports Zone and check out the new hockey sticks?" Parker asked, shuffling his feet in boredom.

"Hm?" Carly responded, holding up a long black pea coat in front of Sage then switching it to a dark navy one.

"Mom? Hockey sticks?" Parker repeated and Carly finally looked up at him.

"What? Oh sure, Parker. In fact, see if you can drag your brother out of game store with you when you're done. You guys still have homework to do." Carly said and held up a hand. "Five minutes."

"Mom, come on. That's not even enough time to get _into_ the store." Parker said, frowning at her.

She looked down at Sage, who rolled her eyes, and Carly bit back a chuckle at how much their daughter reminded her of Jack at that moment.

"Fine, ten minutes. No more!" Carly said and Parker quickly slipped away before she could change her mind.

Parker walked out of the clothing store and into the brisk November air of Old Town. Thanksgiving was only two days away and he wasn't sure how he felt about having dinner at the Snyder farm this year. Everything was so different now and if it was one thing Parker hated it was change.

He pulled his heavy coat around him more and began to walk across the cobblestone square towards the local sports store. He had only taken a few steps when the wind brought a very familiar voice to his ear. Parker's entire body froze and he felt the blood rushing to his head. Turning his gaze he saw her directly to his left, standing with a group of teenagers, holding a steaming cup of over priced coffee in her gloved hands. She turned her head at the same time and their eyes locked.

Liberty sent him a small tentative smile and then turned to say something to her friends. It was obvious they were teasing her and though Parker knew her response wasn't meant for his ears, the wind oh so graciously carried it to him anyway.

"Relax, guys. He's just a kid I know. I'll be right back."

If Parker thought he was cold before, it was nothing compared to the way he felt in that moment. As she walked towards him, her hair blowing around her face gently, Parker wondered how it was possible to love someone and dislike them so much at the same time.

"Hey." Liberty said softly.

"Hey." Parker said back, pushing his hands inside his jacket pockets to keep them occupied.

"How have you been?"

"Okay, I guess. You?"

"Okay. Busy. You know, with school, dance, the wedding…"

"Yeah. That's pretty soon."

"Well the engagement party is on Saturday. You're coming right?" Liberty finally broke the small talk and looked at him curiously when silence met her question. "Parker, you, J.J. and Sage are coming to my mom and your dad's engagement party, right?"

"I don't know. I wasn't…I'm not sure…I don't know." Parker finally said, not wanting to admit that he was still weirded out by everything that had happened. Not to mention the thought of hanging out with her again and not being able to kiss her or hold her drove him crazy.

"Parker, how can you be so selfish? Our parents are happy. Shouldn't we be happy for them too?" Liberty said, her disapproval shining in her eyes.

"I'm not selfish! It's just hard, Liberty. I…I still love you." Parker said, trying to explain but stopped when Liberty sighed loudly.

"Parker, I care about you too. Really, I do. But you know we can't be together. I'm not ready and you're…"

"Too young, I know. Which, I _still_ don't get by the way. I'm going to be 16 in a month!"

"Parker, please. I don't want to hurt you." Liberty said, truly meaning it. She did care about him, more than she wanted to admit, but the pressures of her friends and what had happened between them this summer were too much right now. She just wanted time to figure everything out. "Please, can't you try to understand?"

Parker opened his mouth to answer her but a voice calling his name cut him off. Both he and Liberty turned to see Mattie walking their way.

"Parker, I'm so glad to see you!" Mattie said, her soft accent echoing in the early evening air.

Reaching where they stood, Mattie threw her arms around his neck in a huge hug and though surprised, Parker hugged her back.

Liberty took in the scene, not liking what she was seeing at all. She cleared her throat and Parker released Mattie to allow her to step back.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. I was just so excited to see Parker." Mattie said, wrapping her arms around his left arm and leaning against him. She grinned at Liberty and held out a gloved hand. "My name is Mattie."

Liberty stared at her hand for a brief moment before taking it. "Liberty."

"Oh, like the bell!" Mattie said and just shrugged when Liberty's eyes narrowed slightly. Then as if Liberty wasn't standing there, she turned to smile at Parker.

"Uncle Lee and I ran into your mom and Sage at the store. We're going to have dinner together so I was sent to find you and your brother." Mattie said, rolling her eyes. "Lucky me, I knew that you and J.J. couldn't get too far with the sports store and video game store being next to each other."

"Funny." Parker said, rolling his eyes back at her. She just grinned at him and gave his arm another semi-hug.

In the two weeks since he and Mattie had met, they had hung out almost every other night. If Parker and Mattie weren't hanging out in person they were constantly talking either through texting, instant messaging, or phone conversation. It was as if they had known each other their whole lives and it felt good for them to have a friend of the opposite sex without the messy strings. It didn't hurt that Lee and Carly also got along like a house on fire and they were often going out to dinner or just having coffee in the kitchen while the kids all watched a movie. Thankfully J.J. and Sage thought Lee and Mattie were pretty awesome too and were always happy to have them over. The one person that they hadn't seen much of since that first night was Jack.

At least, not at Milltown.

They went over to the farm some days and had dinner with their dad and Aunt Emma. When Janet wasn't working at the diner, she was there too, but usually those dinners ended quickly and were decidedly uncomfortable. It got better if Holden, Lily and their kids came but none of it hid the fact that Jack and Carly were on the outs again.

"Liberty, are you coming or what? It's freaking freezing out here!" One of the boys in the group yelled out. Liberty, Parker, and Mattie all looked over as if suddenly remembering that they were there.

"Oh yeah, I'm coming." She looked at Parker and then Mattie, forcing a smile on her face. "It was good seeing you."

"Yeah, you too." Parker said and she nodded to him and Mattie before starting to walk away. Just before she reached her friends she turned back. "I'll see you on Saturday, okay?"

Parker let out a giant sigh and nodded. "Yeah, I'll…we'll be there."

Liberty sent a small smile back to him before returning to her friends and leaving. The only sounds for a few moments were other people talking around them, the faint church bells ringing the hour in the distance, and the wind that was picking up movement.

"So that was Liberty, huh?" Mattie asked finally her eyes still watching where the other teenagers had been standing.

"Yeah." Parker said back.

Once the barrier of talking about Liberty had been breached, it was often a hot topic to discuss between them. It was especially for nice Parker to able to get a female side of things even though Mattie had to admit that she didn't quite understand all of Liberty's supposed reasons for not dating Parker.

"Hm." Mattie said and then looked at him with a impish grin. "I think I liked her."

"Thanks, Oz. Just what I needed to hear." Parker said, elbowing her gently.

"Hey, watch it, Yank. Don't make me hurt you." Mattie said, elbowing him back, just a bit harder than he had her.

"Alright, alright. God, your elbows are like lethal weapons." Parker joked, rubbing his rib cage.

"Hey, Mattie. What are you doing here?" J.J.'s voice broke into their banter and they turned to see him walking towards them from the video game store.

"Hey J.J. We're all going to Al's Diner for dinner together and we were sent to come get you." Mattie said, smiling hello at her younger friend.

"Sweet. I have been dying for a chili burger with extra hot sauce." J.J. said and Mattie raised an eyebrow at Parker.

"Fantastic. I tell you what, Yank. _You _can sit next to your brother."

"Better yet, let's just make him eat outside. Make everybody happy." Parker said and grabbed his younger brother in a headlock when he began to protest.

They all just laughed as they began to walk back to the clothing store to meet up with the rest of their dinner party.


	9. Living with Adolescence

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

_Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the age __of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years.  
__~Author Unknown  
_************************************************************************

The screen door slammed shut, causing Jack and Janet to jump in their seats at the kitchen table.

"Ugh!" Liberty groaned loudly and tossed her few shopping bags on the floor as she slumped into one of the other open chairs.

Jack looked up from one of the police files he was reading to meet Janet's wide eyed gaze over her bowl of half peeled potatoes. She shrugged slightly and turned to face her daughter.

"Rough day, honey?" She asked casually, continuing to peel.

"It was fine until I went to Old Town. I ran into Parker." Liberty said, crossing her arms. "He was there with this…girl…"

"Oh." Janet said, sending Jack a look. For his part, he wisely just continued to drink his coffee and skim the police file, although she could tell he was listening.

"I mean, who is she anyway? With her long brown hair and annoying accent?" Liberty said, glaring at her mom.

"I think you lost me, baby." Janet said, completely confused.

Jack, however, had a feeling he knew who Liberty was talking about and a moment later he had confirmation.

"Mattie." Liberty said, drawing out the name as if it was tortured from her.

"Mattie?" Janet repeated and Liberty nodded.

"There he is, telling me he still cares about me and suddenly she comes out of nowhere and just throws herself at him." Liberty said, leaning forward and slapping her hands down beside her on the table.

"But, I thought you didn't want to date Parker." Jack finally ventured to speak and immediately wished he hadn't when her teenaged glare turned full force on him.

"That's so not the point! God!" Liberty said and gathered her bags up before heading up to the guest bedroom she used at the farm.

"Dinner should be ready in about an hour." Janet called after her.

"I'm not hungry!" Liberty yelled back and the slamming of the bedroom door echoed in the house.

Jack's eyes widened and he turned to stare at Janet, who gave him a small smile and shrug.

"Welcome to the world of parenting a teenaged girl."

"Okay, I think I would rather face an armed perp than try and navigate that again." Jack said, pointing towards the stairs.

"Wuss." Janet said, smirking at him and getting a smile back.

"Yes, yes I am." Jack fully admitted.

"You'll have to buck up there, buddy. You become proud co-parent of that teenager in very short time. Not to mention, that you and Carly are going to go through it with Sage soon enough." Janet said, her eyes dancing as she finished peeling another potato. Then as her words sunk in she turned a wide eyed look on him. "Not that I mean you and Carly together. Well, I mean obviously together…as parents. But I'll be there too and…"

"Janet, it's fine. I got what you meant." Jack said giving her another smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes this time.

A few minutes of silence passed with Jack back to looking over the file and Janet back to peeling potatoes. Then with a loud sigh, she dropped another one into the bowl and looked over at him.

"I really don't feel like doing this." Janet said and he glanced from her to the bowl and back again.

"You don't want to have mashed potatoes?" Jack asked, slightly confused.

"Would I be a horrible fiancée if I suggested we go out for dinner?" Janet said, leaning forward on her elbows, her nose inches from his.

"Not at all." Jack smiled and kissed the tip of her nose, placing his file back with the others. "Where do you want to go?"

"Oh, I'm in the mood for a good burger." Janet said, covering the bowl of peeled potatoes in plastic wrap and putting them in the refrigerator for later. Then taking her apron off, she flung it over the kitchen counter.

"Al's Diner, it is." Jack said, pulling on his coat and looking warily towards the stairs. "Should we ask Liberty?"

"Be my guest." Janet said, smiling at his naivety and gestured upwards with her arm.

"Liberty, we going to Al's for dinner. Do you want to come with us?" Jack called up the stairs.

"What part of _I'm not hungry_ didn't you get?" Liberty's voice yelled back down and then loud music began to blare out of her room.

Jack looked at Janet, the same shocked look from before back on his face. She just grinned at him and he quirked an eyebrow at her.

"You knew that was going to happen!" He said, accusingly. Janet reached up to pat his cheek with one hand and nodded.

"If it helps, dear, I think it's only this bad because she's PMSing." Janet told him and he closed his eyes.

"Okay, way more information than I needed, but thank you." Jack said and Janet preceded him out the door, her laugh echoing in his ears.


	10. Dimplomacy Is The Way To Go

True North  
by Jaclyn Parker

_I must acknowledge, once and for all, that the purpose of diplomacy is to prolong a crisis.  
__~Star Trek, Mr. Spock  
_************************************************************************

When Jack and Janet arrived at Al's Diner, it became apparent that they weren't the only ones who had the thought of going to the family friendly restaurant for dinner. Jack and Janet waved to Kelly, a familiar waitress who waved back and whispered to the front hostess. Five minutes later they were seated at a side table for two, menus in front of them.

"It's good to know the right people." Janet joked and Jack grinned at her.

A recognizable laugh made Jack's eyes dart to the right and land on the large family sized booth that now made up the far side of Al's Diner. He immediately recognized his kids and ex-wife as well as Dr. Reynolds and his niece.

"Catch this one!" Sage said and tossed another French fry in Lee's direction. The handsome doctor opened his mouth and leaned forward just in time to catch the greasy treat in his mouth.

"Ow! That was hot, Sage! A little warning next time!" Lee cried, chewing quickly and trying to take in air at the same time. They all laughed again at Lee's pained expression, Sage nearly falling off the end of the booth in hysterics.

Carly ducked her head, to hide her face behind her hand.

"You guys are embarrassing me!" She said, jokingly.

"Hey, come on, darlin'. At least we're not sticking them up our noses!" Lee said and winked at the kids, who made faces but continued to laugh.

"Oh, good one, Doc. Let's just encourage the kids to act like crazy people in public." Carly said, her blue eyes twinkling at him. At his shrug she laughed again, as she casually took in the rest of the now full diner.

When Jack and Carly's eyes met, each of them froze in their spots. As it usually did, the world around them seemed to fade to a dull roar and it was as if nothing else existed but them. For a moment anyway.

Sage had followed her mom's gaze and she broke out into a grin.

"Daddy!" Sage looked at Carly, silently asking permission, her whole body shaking with excitement.

"Of, course. Go say hi." Carly said, brought back into reality as she looked down at her daughter.

Sage didn't need anymore encouraging and bolted out of her seat to run and hug Jack.

"Hey Princess." Jack said, hugging Sage tightly and grinning at her. He hated that the argument that he and Carly had the week before had affected their relationship so much, particularly when he knew it was also affecting their kids. When he had told Janet what he had said to Carly that night, even she had looked at him in shock and told him flat out that he was an idiot. Jack kept meaning to apologize but for some reason he just couldn't bring himself to say it, especially when Lee was around.

"Hi, Sage." Janet said and Sage's smile dimmed but not as much as it used to.

"Hi." She said, somewhat shyly. Sage pressed closer to Jack, but she didn't ignore Janet, which Jack took as a good sign.

"Daddy, come say hi." Sage said, pulling away to lead him to their table. Jack looked at Janet who smiled at him.

"Actually, do you mind if I come too Sage? I have to ask your mom something." Janet said and Sage paused but then nodded.

"Um, sure."

Jack exchanged a semi-shocked look with Janet who just shrugged and followed them over to the larger table.

Parker watched them coming and began to feel slightly nauseous. It had been a good, fun dinner and he just wanted to stay as drama-free as possible after the situation with Liberty earlier. He jumped slightly when he felt Mattie squeeze his hand under the table. He tossed her a small smile and she took her hand away, reaching for her milkshake, her wide green eyes observing everything.

Unbeknownst to them, Lee had done the same gesture to Carly, who was watching her ex and his fiancée head their way with an massive sense of dread.

"Hi." Jack said, upon reaching the table.

"Hi." Carly echoed and for a moment they just stared at each other.

Janet watched them, an uncomfortable feeling making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She turned to the man sitting next to Carly in the booth and extended her hand.

"Hi, I'm Janet Ciccone." She said, cheerfully, effectively breaking the eye contact that Jack and Carly had going.

"Hi, Lee Reynolds." Lee said, accepting her handshake.

Janet eyed him carefully, taking in how handsome he was and the Australian accent. If she didn't have Jack…

Turning, Janet turned to look at the young girl sitting on his other side and next to Parker.

"That must make you Mattie." Janet said and could instantly see why Liberty had come home in such a funk. The young girl was a knockout and by the way she and Parker were sitting and talking, they were obviously close.

"Yes, ma'am. It's nice to meet you." Mattie said.

"Oh please. No ma'am stuff okay? Makes me sound 90 years old. Good manners though." Janet said and Mattie gave her a small smile.

A silence lulled and Sage looked up at Janet.

"Didn't you wanna ask my mom something?" She said and all eyes turned to Janet, who smiled nervously.

"Um, I did actually. Thank you Sage." Janet said and laughed before clearing her throat and looking at Carly. "I'm sure you know that our engagement party is on Saturday and of course the kids are invited. I just wanted to let you know, formally, that you are more than welcome to come too."

The scene that followed could have been taken from any primetime sitcom.

The kids and Lee looked at Carly; Carly looked at Jack; Jack looked at Janet; and then they all looked down at the table, trying to figure out the best course of action for what to do next.

Carly's mind went through a complete schizophrenic cycle, from shock to anger to disbelief to shock again and then finally…acceptance. She knew she needed to do this, for her kids if not for herself. Carly knew that Jack was going to get married and she, during times of extreme stupidity, had even pushed him into Janet's arms herself. She was partly to blame for the way things had turned out and no matter how much it tore at her inside she would not deny him a chance at happiness. Not this time.

"I'd be happy to go, Janet. Thank you for inviting me." Carly finally said slowly and it was as if someone had hit a pause button on a movie. No one moved; no one even breathed.

"You…I…really?" Janet said and at Carly's nod, she broke into a grin. "That's fantastic! And of course you can bring your…friend."

Lee bit back a chuckle then a yelp when Carly's nails dug into his thigh. He quickly covered them both up with a fake cough.

"Thank you." He managed to get out, tossing Carly an amused look when she calmly handed him her water glass.

"Okay," Jack said, dragging out the word as he tried to figure out what had just happened between Lee and Carly. He glanced down and saw that his hands had curled into fists. He quickly told himself to relax and forced the wave of what he told himself was irrational anger, back down. "We're sorry to interrupt your dinner. We'll head back to our table and I'll see you on Thursday for Thanksgiving."

A chorus of goodnights sounded and the respective tables went back to their own meals. It was a relatively quiet from that point on and soon Lee and Carly were preparing to get the check and say goodnight themselves.

While waiting for the check J.J. recounted his last soccer game to Lee and Sage entertained Carly with stories of riding Spanky, giving Parker a chance to talk to Mattie.

"I can't believe that all just happened." Parker said and Mattie gave him a small smile.

"It's a good thing though, right? I mean, it's gotta be real hard for your mom after everything you told me about your parents. I guess she really is trying." Mattie said and Parker frowned, not having thought about it that way before.

"Yeah, at least Lee will be there to keep her company. I can tell you right now, that party is going to be mega uncomfortable." Parker said and then looked down at his nearly spotless plate.

"Not just for your mom, huh?" Mattie said and she placed an understanding hand on his shoulder. "You gonna be okay hanging out with Liberty?"

Parker was quiet and then he turned to Mattie, a strange look in his eye. "It'd be better if you were there."

"Whoa, whoa there, Yank." Mattie said, holding up her hands. "I know it was sort of fun teasing her today but I don't play the 'let's make her jealous' game any more than that."

"No, Oz, that's not what I meant." Parker said honestly. "I just…I really think I might need my best friend there."

Mattie blinked hard and then grinned at him. "Well in that case, I'd be happy to go. If you think it's okay with your dad and future stepmom."

Parker grimaced at her words, but then nodded. "Yeah, it'll be cool."

"Hey, your Aunt Emma's helping cook, right? At least we know there will be wicked food." Mattie joked.

"Yeah, if Janet let's her in the kitchen long enough." Parker said, finishing his own milkshake and eyeing the rest of Mattie's mint chocolate chip one.

She followed his gaze and rolled her eyes, pushing the thick glass towards him. As he grinned at her and quickly slurped down the rest of it, she gave a small laugh.

"I am starting to think that your Aunt Emma's comment about there being too many cooks in the kitchen the other day wasn't really a joke. I get the distinct impression that sometimes she'd just as soon take Janet out with one of her own casseroles."

Parker's eyes flew to where Jack and Janet sat and he almost choked trying to hold back his laugh at the sudden mental picture her words brought up. As their private chuckles subsided Parker suddenly sat up straight, practically slapping his forehead. "Oh man, I totally forgot. I meant to ask you to help me with my stupid Shakespeare essay on Othello."

"Death by casserole made you think of Shakespeare?" Mattie asked, looking at him strangely.

"No, it was me almost choking on your milkshake. Othello killed Desdemona by smothering remember? Choking...smothering...no air. Same thing."

"Right." Mattie said, but the tone of her voice told him that she clearly thought he had lost his mind.

"Anyway, you said you did a whole semester of him at your old school, right?" Parker said, moving on.

"Yeah, right, I did. I like that stuff, it's fun. When is the essay due?" Mattie said and Parker smiled at her sheepishly.

"Um, tomorrow."

"Yank, sometimes you really are a complete twit." Mattie said, smacking him in the shoulder and rolling her eyes in disgust.

"Hey Mom, can Mattie come over for a little bit? I really need her help with my English homework." Parker said, knowing that Mattie would help him anyway.

"Well," Carly said looking at her watch and then at Lee.

Mattie quickly turned to Lee. "Do you mind, Uncle Lee? Just for a little while. Probably not more than forty-five minutes, an hour tops. Trust me...he needs the help."

Lee looked at Carly who just shrugged. He turned to Mattie and Parker nodding. "But only an hour at the maximum, guys. I have an early rotation tomorrow."

"Promise!" Mattie said leaning over to kiss Lee's cheek, who grinned and gave her a quick side hug.

"Okay then," Lee said grabbing the check and waving off Carly's protests. Dropping the appropriate amount of bills on the table with a very decent tip, he nudged Mattie and Parker out of the booth with his hip. "On to Milltown."

"I get to ride shotgun in Eleanor!" Sage cried and jumped up out of her spot in the booth.

"Hey, no fair! You got shotgun the last two times." J.J. said and then seemed to realize that he was arguing with his 10 year old little sister in public. "Fine, but I call shotgun next time, Squirt."

"Well, I can see that who's really valued in this equation." Carly said, smiling at Lee when he helped her with her coat.

"What can I say, Luv? Me and Eleanor, we win 'em all over." Lee said, waggling his eyebrows earning him a chorus of groans.

"That's it. I'm moving back to Australia." Mattie said, covering her face and Carly slung her arm around Mattie's shoulder.

"Oh trust me, sweetie. Parents are embarrassing no matter what continent you're on. It's our job."

They were just about to leave when Carly glanced over at Jack's table. Seeing Janet get up to go to the bathroom, she paused. Jack caught her eye and motioned for her to wait.

"Um, I'll meet you there in a minute, okay?" Carly said and Lee turned to study her for a moment.

"Are you sure?" he said and she nodded, handing him her car keys.

"Yeah, I won't be long." She said and he leaned over to kiss her cheek.

"Be careful, Luv." He said and she smiled at him before turning to meet Jack who was now heading their way.

Jack watched in silence as Lee nodded to him before ushering the kids into the night.

"He's a nice guy." Jack said and Carly nodded. "You see a lot of each other?"

"Yes, he is and yes, we do." She said but let it go after that.

"Carly, I have the right to know who my kids are hanging out with." Jack said, getting mildly frustrated.

"Jack, if this is why you wanted me to wait…" Carly said, her own frustration mounting.

"No, no it's not." Jack said, forcing his ego in check. "What I wanted to say…I wanted to say thank you. You know, for accepting Janet's invitation to the party."

"It will be good for the kids to see us all getting along. I think it's past time, don't you?" Carly said, giving him a small tight smile.

"Yes, I do." Jack said and he placed a hand on her arm, his fingers unconsciously caressing her sleeve. "I also wanted to apologize for what I said the other day. It was out of line."

"Yes, it was...but thank you, Jack, for the apology. I appreciate it." This time she gave him a real smile.

"Um, so you know Thursday is Thanksgiving?" Jack said and Carly nodded.

"I know. I'll have the kids ready by 4:30 for you to pick them up."

"Well, you know you can always come with them. To the farm for Thanksgiving dinner." Jack said and Carly felt panic rise in her.

"No!" She cried and then glanced around her as she realized how loudly that had come out.

There was a time in her life when Thanksgiving at the Snyder farm meant home and love and family; things she had craved growing up. Yet now, with everything that had happened between her, Holden, Lily, Jack, and Janet it just wasn't someplace she wanted to be this year.

"No," She repeated, more calmly this time. "Thank you."

"Carly, I don't want you to spend Thanksgiving alone." Jack said, moving closer to her. A different type of panic began to fill her and once again her mouth opened before her brain had fully processed what she was about to say.

"That's okay, Jack. I got plenty of practice last year." Carly said, referring to when Jack had been so angry with her after her false brain diagnosis that he had refused to let the kids be with her on Thanksgiving.

Jack stepped back as if she had slapped him and immediately Carly closed her eyes in regret, her hand reaching up to touch his cheek.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She whispered.

Opening her eyes again, she stopped herself just before she made contact with his skin and just looked at him with tears glistening in her blue gaze.

"God, Jack, why is it that we know exactly what to say to hurt each other the most?" Carly asked, her voice raw and her eyes beseeching him to give her a reasonable answer.

Instead, Jack could only shake his head and force the lump that was in his throat back down. She bit her lip and out of the corner of her eye she saw that Janet had retuned and was watching them warily. Carly looked up into Jack's face and then took another step back.

"Thank you for the offer, but I'll be fine. The kids and I decided to have a Thanksgiving brunch together instead and then Lee and Mattie already asked me out to dinner with them." Carly said and then gave him a watery smile. "I'm not sure what spending Thanksgiving with a couple of Australians is going to be like, but it probably won't be boring."

"No, I'm sure it won't be." Jack finally said and she nodded to him.

"Uh, I have to get going. You have a good night, okay? I'll see you later."

Before Jack had a chance to say anything Carly slipped out the door and into the cold night air. And all Jack could do, was watch her go.


	11. Trust Your Instincts

True North  
by Jaclyn Parker

_Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else's.  
__~Billy Wilder  
_************************************************************************

That Saturday night Jack heard his kids come into the farmhouse before he even saw them, but let Emma fuss over them in the kitchen as she liked to do. He stayed in the living room to help Janet and Liberty put out the last tray of hors d'oevures, managing to steal a mini hotdog before they glared at him.

He held up his hands in an innocent gesture and chewed quickly, finishing just as the kids filed in to see him.

"Hey guys! You look great!" Jack said, taking in his handsome sons in their dress pants, button down shirts, and dress shoes. Sage wore a pale rose colored dress with her hair done in a French braid with a rose colored ribbon interwoven in it.

Jack also noticed that Mattie had arrived with them, her green eyes heightened by the knee length green sweater dress that she wore. He knew he wasn't the only one who noticed her arrival, as he watched Liberty stand up straighter and strategically eye up the other teenage girl.

"Hey, Daddy." Sage said, moving to give him a hug and distracting him.

"Hey, Sweetie! You look beautiful." He said, hugging her back and kissing her head.

"Yeah, you guys look amazing." Janet spoke up.

"Thanks." J.J. said, pulling on his collar. He hated dressing up like this but his mom had asked him nicely and he knew it meant a lot to his dad. But still…

Jack gave him a look as J.J. tugged on his collar again, making the young teen stop instantly and mumble an apology under his breath.

There was silence until Mattie rolled her eyes and nudged Parker in the ribs, her eyes gesturing towards Liberty.

"Hey." He said and Liberty gave him a small smile.

"Hey. You look really nice." She told him and he blushed.

"Yeah, so do you." Parker said, taking in the red V-neck dress that she wore and the silver drop pendant that hung to just below her collarbone. With her hair pulled up in a messy twist with a silver accented pins placed about, Liberty was practically glowing.

Another awkward silence and again Mattie realized that she would have to break it.

"Hi Liberty, it's good to see you again. Thanks so much for inviting me tonight." Mattie said and Liberty gave her a look that was part grimace, part smile.

Liberty wasn't about to share that when Janet had told her that Parker was bringing Mattie, that she had thrown a tantrum that would make a 5 year old proud. When she was done she promptly refused to speak to her mom for 24 hours.

Later on when she was apologizing to Janet, who had taken the tantrum in stride, Liberty realized that if Parker could act maturely about the situation so could she. Never mind if every other moment of the night Liberty was going to be picturing ways to dispose of the Australian girl.

"You're more than welcome, Mattie. In fact, _everyone_ is welcome tonight. Speaking of which, where are Carly and Lee?" Janet asked, frowning. "I could have sworn I heard another accent in the kitchen before."

"Oh, you did. Uncle Lee just got a call about an emergency at the hospital, so he dropped us off and then drove there. He'll be back later." Mattie said, nodding.

"Yeah and Mom actually had a last minute band problem at Metro so she had to stay longer at work than she thought. She's going to be here later too." Parker said, just now remembering what his mom had told him when she called earlier.

Parker hadn't had a chance to ask her much more before he had heard a cymbal crash in the background followed by a string of curses. At that point he had let his mom get off the phone and went to call Lee to drive them to the party like she had asked him to do.

"Oh…well…okay. Good." Jack said, his mind racing with a thousand different thoughts and none of them making him smile. He didn't have much time to reflect about them though, as he heard Holden call out a hello from the kitchen.

"Looks like this party's about to get started." Janet said and sure enough, within forty minutes the house was full of dressed up friends and family, laughing and talking amongst themselves.

There were only two pauses in the flow of the evening, when Paul and Meg showed up, mainly due to the gushing that followed about Meg's pregnancy glow, and when Brad and Katie walked in.

That break in everyone's conversations was minuscule but it was there and Jack noticed as Brad's shoulders slumped slightly. He immediately turned and went back in the kitchen, Katie's eyes imploring Jack to go after him.

"Hey, little brother." Jack said upon entering the kitchen and Brad smirked at him from his spot by the kitchen counter.

"You do know I'm taller than you, right?" Brad asked and Jack rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. Minor detail." Jack said and after grabbing them both beers from the fridge he also leaned on the kitchen counter. "So, how are you doing? Really?"

"Really?" Brad echoed and took a sip of his beer, before bowing his head. "I'm _really _losing my mind, Jack. I know that Spencer isn't dead and I just can't prove it."

"Is there _any_ evidence? Any thing at all, no matter how small it seems?" Jack pressed and Brad hesitated. Should he tell Jack about the computer messages and the mysterious texts that Katie had been getting?

"No, nothing." Katie interrupted from the kitchen doorway and Brad turned to look at her. Her eyes conveyed a very simple message and Brad resigned himself to keeping all that had been happening between the two of them.

Jack watched them with interest, his cop instincts alerting him to the fact that there was something else going on. But unless they confided in him, there wasn't anything that he could do.

"Well, you know I'm happy to help in any way I can." Jack said and they both looked at him.

"We know. Thank you, Jack." Katie said and she gave him a soft smile, while leaning into Brad's side.

Despite everything that had gone on between her and the older Snyder brother, she still cared about him. But while she wouldn't begrudge the time she had with Jack for the world, she loved Brad so much that her heart hurt when he wasn't with her. Even if he did drive her crazy half of the time.

"So, I hear Carly's coming to this shindig." Brad said, effectively changing the topic and simultaneously startling his brother and wife.

"Yeah, she is. She got stuck at Metro but she'll be here later." Jack said, taking a swig of beer.

"She bringing that new doctor boyfriend of hers?" Brad continued, not noticing the tick that started in Jack's jaw.

However Katie saw it and knew that Brad had touched a nerve. While she loved her husband deeply, sometimes he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. She looked closely at Jack's face and immediately wanted to let out a deep sigh.

Katie wondered if anyone besides her had really ever sat Janet down and explained the history of what happened to the people who came between Jack and Carly, or "relationship fillers" as she tended to refer to them, herself included. No matter what, no matter how long the relationship lasted, it never ended pretty and it was always with the same result.

Jack and Carly ended up together again.

"Um, darling, I'm hungry. Let's go see if any of those mini hotdogs are left." Katie said, knowing that if there was one thing that could change her husband's topic of conversation faster than lighting, it was cocktail weenies.

"Mini hotdogs?" Brad said, his interest peaked and saluting his brother with his beer, he headed towards the living room.

Jack sent Katie a look of gratitude and she sent him back a small wink before following her husband out of the kitchen.

Jack leaned his forearms on the kitchen counter, staring at the dark green glass of his beer bottle, contemplating.

Was Carly really at Metro? Did Lee really have an emergency at the hospital? Or were they really back at Milltown together…doing…having…

Before Jack knew what was happening, his phone was in his hand and the sound of ringing was in his ear.

"Hello Metro. How can I help you?" A young woman's voice came on the line, the sound of music blaring in the background.

"Hi, I was looking for Carly Tenney." Jack said and the young woman said something back. Jack plugged his other ear with his finger to hear her better. "What? I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you."

"I said, Carly left about 10 minutes ago. She had to go home to get ready for some family thing."

The girl asked he wanted to leave her a message but Jack declined and hung up. He stared at his phone suddenly realizing what he had done. Yet, despite that, he still had to fight back a huge urge to call the hospital to also check on Lee's whereabouts.

"Hey, there you are." Janet's voice surprised him and made him jump slightly. He turned to face her and she smiled at him. "Hiding from all the people?"

"Hm? What? No." Jack said and she looked down at the phone in his hand.

"Important call?" She asked, tilting her head to look at him curiously.

"No, uh, just listening to a voicemail." Jack said and shoved his phone back in his pocket.

"Oh, okay. Well, since I have you out here alone I have something I want to give you." Janet said, moving forward to wrap her arms around his waist and placing her chin on his chest to look up at him.

"Really?" Jack said, wrapping his arms around her and trying to bring his focus back to what was at hand.

"Uh-huh. Sort of an early wedding present." Janet said, her eyes dancing and she released him to move to go upstairs.

"I'll be right back."

As Jack watched her go, he mentally kicked himself.

"You idiot. What is wrong with you? You have a great woman who is crazy about you and wants to marry you. Snap out of it!" Jack muttered to himself and yet, even then, his thoughts drifted again towards Milltown.

Why did he care so much about whether or not Lee was with Carly at the house? And why, when he thought about the possibility of them having sex, did he suddenly want to put his fist through a certain Australian doctor's face?

"Jack?" Janet called softly, stepping closer to her fiancée. She had come back downstairs to find him muttering under his breath and looking incredibly intense.

He jumped for the second time in her presence and she just stared at him.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Janet asked and Jack shook himself.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He said and grinned at her, turning to look at gift in her hands. "Is that my present?"

Janet looked at him closely for a moment longer before nodding and handing it to him. It was a plain white gift box with a red ribbon wrapped around it, nothing fancy but something about it seemed familiar.

Jack looked at her and kissed her cheek as he hurriedly opened the box. As he pulled back the thin layer of tissue paper inside and stared at the object nestled within, Jack felt everything inside of him freeze.

"Where…where did you get this? Did the kids…" He managed to whisper out.

"No, the kids don't know anything about it. I saw it in the window of a store in Old Town and something inside me just knew you had to have it." Janet said, not understanding his reaction. In fact, he was starting to frighten her. His face was at least two shades paler than he had been a moment ago and she could see his entire body trembling.

"Jack? What's wrong?"

The roaring of blood from his increased heart rate rushed in his ears as the room started to sway and he gripped the kitchen counter with one hand, the other adamantly refusing to put down the gift box. The music and laughter from the people in the living room swept over him, including the sounds of his kids. Jack closed his eyes, praying for the strength he suddenly needed.

"Janet, sit down. We need to talk."


	12. Two Human Souls

**_Author's Note: Please be forewarned that this chapter contains material that requires this story to be rated M._**

True North  
by Jaclyn Parker

"_What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined ... to strengthen each other ... to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories."  
__-George Eliot  
_************************************************************************

Carly finally stepped from the shower, throwing the shower cap in the sink, along with a bobby pin or two that she heard clink as they hit the porcelain. After toweling off briefly, she lathered herself with the new vanilla body cream that she had splurged on at the local Bath & Body Works. As she bent over to lift the matching black lace underwear set that lay on the bathroom counter, Carly realized she still couldn't believe that she was going to Jack and Janet's engagement party. Even with the kids going and Lee there to support her, she still felt like she was going to be sick just thinking about it.

"I must be insane." She whispered to herself, putting the undergarments on and briefly surveying herself in the mirror.

With three energetic and demanding kids and a unpredictable job schedule, it wasn't easy to find time to go to the gym. So, instead, she committed herself to doing a set cardio and ab routine every other morning before things turned to chaos. And for a woman in her mid 30s with two biological kids, Carly had to admit that she knew she looked good.

Her bust had always been well endowed and even after breast feeding, it had miraculously stayed relatively put. Though average height, she had long legs and a long torso, which was enviably flat and rather toned. Granted, a lot of it also had to do with genetics, but Carly was proud of the way she took care of her body and it showed.

"Not that anyone's here to appreciate it." She muttered under her breath and roughly yanked on her bathrobe.

Carly padded back into her bedroom, taking the last few bobby pins out of her hair. Shaking it loose, she debated whether or not she had time to straighten it before she had to leave. As soon as she entered the room, Carly was filled with the sense that she was not alone.

Evening had fallen while she was in the shower and shadows were cast all over her room. But the brightness of the rising moon coupled with the dimmed light from her bedside lamp allowed her to clearly identify the figure sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Jack!" Carly said, gasping and placing a hand over her pounding heart. "You scared me to death! How did you get in the house?"

"The key. It was still under that stupid fake rock. You should probably find another place for it." Jack said, his voice low and even.

Carly just shook her head fiercely, her hair whipping her in the face.

"Jack, what the hell are you doing here?" Carly asked, completely confused and more than a little angry.

"I had to see you." Jack answered as if that was all the explanation he needed to give.

"You had to _what_?" Carly asked, astounded.

"Something happened tonight, Carly, and I just knew I had to see you." Jack said, his eyes never leaving her face.

"Where are the kids? Are they okay?" Carly asked, a mother's fear starting to fill her.

"They're fine. They're at the farm with Emma. They're going to stay there tonight." Jack told her, rising from the end of the bed.

As he slowly walked towards her, Carly impulsively stepped back. Jack stopped a good four feet away and just held out his hand. She looked at him questioningly and then reached out to take the object he offered her.

The gold plated compass filled the palm of her hand, the warmth from his body still lingering on the metal. The black face and gold needle winked up at her in the dim light of the room causing her breath to catch in her throat.

It was an exact replica of the compass that he had given her years ago in the boathouse; to find her way back to him he had said. Then, a couple of years later, she had smashed it out of pent up frustration, hurt, and anger during the situation with Julia Lindsey. Jack had eventually gotten her a new one, but over the following years it had gotten lost in the shuffle of their relationship. Carly had to admit that she hadn't been able to bring herself to look for it in a very long time, but not a single day went by that she didn't think about that special symbol of their love.

And now it was resting in her hands and once again, Jack had given it to her. Carly looked up at him, her eyes wide in bewilderment.

"I don't understand, Jack."

"Janet gave it to me tonight, as an early wedding present." Jack said and she just shook her head again.

"But why..." Carly started to ask and then frowned. "Did Sage hint at this? Or Parker or J.J.?"

"No, I asked the same thing. Janet mentioned that she saw me constantly looking at compasses in stores and she knew somehow that this was the perfect for gift for me. And she was right." Jack said and Carly's eyes closed briefly, holding the compass tightly in her hands. Then, realizing what she was doing, she quickly held it out to him.

"Take it." Carly said, her voice soft and wavering.

Jack just stood there, his eyes not leaving her face.

"Jack, take the damn compass." Carly said, a panic rising in her. He reached out and took it back, his hand momentarily holding on to hers. Her breath caught and she jerked her hand out of his possession, holding it to her body like he had burned her.

It was too much.

For weeks, ever since she had turned him down in that hospital room and closed herself off from feelings that she believed she had no right to have, she could sense everything swirling around her like a hurricane. The desperate antics of Sage and Parker on Halloween night and her reaction to it all had just reminded her that she needed to keep it together for the kids' sakes if not her own sanity.

Carly knew she had never loved another man the way she loved Jack Snyder and never would. It would be impossible. He was so deep inside her heart and mind that there were some moments in her life that she couldn't tell where she left off and he began. It had been like that since years ago when, in the sweltering heat and under a big Montana sky, a late night argument had ended with a passionate kiss.

Something had happened in that instant where two souls had tangled up and fused together, knowing that no matter what amount of time or distance their physical bodies endured, those same two souls would not be denied each other. It was incredibly wonderful and yet…

It was incredibly frightening.

"Jack, you need to leave. Whatever you said to Janet tonight was just pre-wedding jitters. You can take it back." Carly said, running her hand nervously through her now loose curls and the other holding her robe closed even tighter.

"No, Carly, I can't. We called everything off. Or I should say that _I _called it all off." Jack said, watching Carly's reaction to his words very closely.

Carly gasped and placed her hand up near her throat.

"No, Jack! Oh God, how did Janet…all those people at your party…" Carly was caught so off guard that couldn't finish a complete sentence.

"Janet took about as well as I thought she would. When the screaming started, I think Emma took care of the guests. I don't know to be totally honest. It was very much a blur." Jack said, his heart tightening at the pain he had caused tonight. His mind flashed back to what had happened only a short while ago.

_Janet sat there listening to him try to explain, her facial features getting tighter as each word came out of his mouth until finally she exploded. Anger, hurt, betrayal, confusion; they all poured out of her as she paced around the kitchen alternating between yelling at him and crying heart wrenching sobs. Then after what seemed to be hours, but Jack knew was probably only a matter of minutes, she suddenly grew deathly calm. She grabbed her purse and jacket and moved towards the door._

"_Janet, wait. Please don't drive." Jack said, grabbing her arm but quickly released her again at the look she threw his way. _

"_I'm going to call a cab once I get outside. I just can't be in this room with you anymore or else I'm going to be sick." She replied, staring at him with such frostiness that Jack swore he felt his blood run cold. The last thing she said to him would stay in his mind for a long time to come._

"_I am going to go get a room at the Lakeview and then hit the bar to drink myself into oblivion, Jack. I am going to allow myself this one night to feel sorry for myself and try to forget that you or your precious Carly exist. But in the morning, I_ will_ get up, I _will_ hug my daughter and I_ will _realize how much better off I am without someone like you in my life. And you…you, Jack Snyder, are the one who will be sorry, not me."_

_And then she disappeared out the kitchen door, the screen door slamming shut behind her as if to accentuate every word she had just said._

_Emma found him moments later, sitting at the kitchen table and holding the compass in his hands, just staring at it._

"_Everyone went home." Emma said, coming to place a hand on his shoulder. "Liberty went with Brad and Katie. She's incredibly upset but I think they'll be able to calm her down enough to get some rest tonight."_

_Jack closed his eyes briefly, hating that his actions had caused that young girl anguish. But he knew now that he had waited too long for the situation to end up any other way._

"_Your kids, and Mattie, are upstairs. I told them that you would be up in a little while to explain to them as best you could." Emma continued but Jack just sighed quietly. She knew she was going to regret this but she asked anyway._

"_Unless, there is somewhere you need to be?"_

_Jack finally lifted his head and just looked at her. Then, God bless her heart, all Emma did was hug him hard and hand him the car keys that she had been holding in anticipation of this very move._

_Quickly kissing her cheek, he took them and left the farmhouse, not pausing to look back._

Coming back to the present, Jack looked at Carly and gave a small smile.

"I couldn't do it anymore, Carly. It wasn't fair to her, to the kids, to me, and it certainly wasn't fair to you."

"To me? Jack, this has nothing to do with me!" Carly tried to reason with him, but he was the one to shake his head.

"You have everything to do with this, Carly. Whether you meant to or not. This "gift" was just the last sign I needed to know that while I care about Janet, very much in fact, it doesn't begin to compare to what I feel for you."

"No," Carly said, closing her eyes and trying to get her brain to function correctly before opening them again. "Jack, it's just…"

"_You_ are the reason I am on this Earth, Carly."

Everything Carly had been about to say disappeared in her mind and she found herself just staring at him.

"The thought of seeing you, hearing you, even fighting with you makes getting up every morning worth while. Yeah, you can make me angrier and more frustrated than anyone I have ever met in my life, but you have also been the one to give me my greatest joys." Jack's eyes stared into her own, the fierceness of his gaze rooting her to the spot.

"It's the little things like getting our kids to school in the morning or shuffling them from place to place like damned cab drivers or simply debating whose turn it is to cook dinner. It's the comfort of having someone at home who understands the ugly truths of a being a cop's wife, but also knows that it's part of who I am. The other part of who I am, Carly, belongs to you; a strong, fierce woman who also has dreams and ambitions of her own but will do anything…and I mean anything…for her family."

Jack raked a hand through his hair and gave her a self-conscious smile.

"Don't you see? When I'm with you, Honey, going to the fanciest restaurant in town or just snuggling on the couch watching a movie is perfection to me. Us, our family together…that's all that I need."

"Jack…" Carly whispered out then stopped not able to get past the tears that were in her throat.

"And then there are the nights, Carly. God, the nights are more than one man can bear to think about." Jack said, his voice dropping low and he began to move toward her with a clear purpose in mind. "There are times when I feel like I might explode with how much I need to see you, to touch you_,_ to taste you on my lips."

Jack was now a breath from Carly, whose body was literally aching at his words. He reached up and wound a hand into her hair, cupping the back of her head as he drew her towards him.

His lips were soft on her cheek, almost feather light, as they trailed down her jaw line. Carly's head tilted back of its own accord, allowing him better access to her neck where he could see her pulse racing as the tension built up in her body. Jack's eyes settled on a water droplet that had somehow been missed by the towel and nestled itself at a dip in her collarbone. He bent down and licked the droplet off, at the same time sliding his other hand into her robe and dancing across her bare stomach. Jack grinned as he felt her entire body tremble in response.

He drew back and lifted his head to meet her gaze. Carly's eyes were heavy lidded with desire and her body hitched with the controlled breaths she was now forcing herself to take. Her face was flushed and her lips were moist and slightly parted. He could see the private war that was raging in her eyes but then, as if a switch was flipped, her gaze cleared and became set with something that caused his own pulse to start racing.

Carly shifted so that her sore wrist was resting on his shoulder and her other hand dropped between their bodies. It was a gentle caress but a blatant one and Jack's eyes widened before narrowing again in desire.

He growled and with one swift movement, Carly found her back pressed up against the bedroom door with her legs wrapped around Jack's waist. His mouth pressed against hers, kissing her as if he depended on her for his life's breath. Carly clung to him, giving back everything that he took tenfold.

Jack whirled around and in a less than graceful move he dropped them both onto the bed. To her credit, it barely broke Carly's stride as she rolled so that she was on her back, allowing him easy access to strip her of her robe. Jack stood and had to remind himself to breathe as he took in the image before him.

Clad only in her black lace underwear, Carly's back was slightly arched and her blonde curls were spread around her head. Her blue eyes were dark with a passion that he knew was for him and him alone. Her kiss swollen lips were parted and as he watched, the tip of her tongue darted out to moisten them. It was a picture that he had conjured up more than once and yet the reality of having her with him again out did any and every fantasy that he had been having since they were apart.

Carly's hands reached up and quickly undid his pants, her hand sliding into the dark material to find the part of him that her entire being currently ached for. Jack hissed out a breath and quickly undressed, so that he was now lying next to her, curling her into his body. Within seconds he had also relieved her of her remaining clothing and then there was nothing between them, not even air.

Jack pulled back slightly to let his hand dip between them and Carly's answering gasp let him know that he had found what he was looking for. She ready for him, evidence that he still affected her the same way he always had. As he caressed the most intimate part of her Carly arched towards him, pressing herself as close to him as she could get.

"Jack," she cried huskily into his ear. Her breath tickled his neck and she felt him twitch against her stomach. A mischievous grin crept onto her face, and despite everything inside of her telling her let him continue the delicious actions on her lower half, she forced herself to pull his hand away from her body.

He looked up at her, confusion on his face but she just smiled at him, before gently pushing him to lie on his back. Pressing a kiss to his cheek, then his mouth, she was momentarily distracted as he reminded her why she could never stop with one goodbye kiss.

Carly carefully straddled Jack's waist and immediately his strong hands gripped her waist, his thumbs playing with the soft skin at her hip bone. He could feel the warmth of her as she settled over him and he looked up at her with hooded eyes, need filling every part of him.

Carly carefully positioned herself and then, with the sigh of a deeply satisfied woman, she made them one. She lay down on his chest, kissing his neck gently as they just relished the feel of what could only be described as coming home. Carly would have been content to stay like that for hours and as she felt Jack kiss the top of her head, she knew he had no complaints. But something else deep inside of her, some primal instinct, began to take over. She found herself beginning to rock back and forth, allowing their bodies to create the most beautiful intimate friction.

The feelings rising inside of her were so strong that she could sense herself quickly losing control, her motions becoming more and more erratic. Jack's hands at her waist tightened and he began to guide her movements, steadying her. She gratefully let him take over and she bit her lip, looking down into the face she had, up until that night, only recently seen in her dreams. He asked a silent question with his eyes and she answered with her own.

Jack held her to him as, in one smooth movement, they changed positions; Carly now on her back with Jack over top of her. Neither of them had to consciously recognize the fact that they were still joined; the transition was as familiar and yet as exciting as the first time they had moved in sync while making love.

Carly's arms wound around his neck, her hands moving to lace themselves in his thick hair. She pulled him towards her, her lips seeking his own. He willingly obliged the request, nibbling at her before succumbing to a deeper kiss. Much in the way that her arms had wound around his neck, her legs now wound around his waist with her ankles crossing just at the small of his back. Using the leverage she had now she pulled his body closer, drawing him deeper to her so that they were now pelvic bone to pelvic bone.

Jack broke the kiss with another soft hiss and he looked at her, quirking his eyebrow.

"Are you _trying_ to kill me?" He panted out, burying his face in her neck as she shifted her legs and repeated the move.

"Of course not. I have plans for you, G-man." Carly said and it was her turn to gasp as he circled his hips to hit just the right spot. Her head fell back, her eyes squeezing shut and her mouth falling open in a gasp. "Oh, God, Jack."

That was all it took for them to stop teasing and begin making love in earnest. Their rhythm increased and soon, Carly found that familiar curl of heat start to pool deep within her body. She tightened her legs around Jack and tried to pull him closer, almost as if she was trying to get him to fuse to her body.

"Jack…please." Carly said, her voice almost a whimper and she tried to put into words what she wanted. She should have known that it wasn't necessary for as soon as she said his name, Jack circled his hips again.

Stars burst from behind her closed eyelids and the heat that had been collecting, spread like wildfire throughout her limbs. Her nails raked down his back, not deep enough to draw blood but enough that it was all it took for him to join her in her ecstasy.

She felt him tense within her and with the last of her strength, she pulled him as deep into her body as he could go, wrapping her legs and arms around him fiercely. His whole body shuddered and then he was perfectly still.

They stayed like that for a long moment but then Carly could tell that he was struggling to hold himself over her. She smiled, gently pulling him down to rest against her body gladly accepting his weight. The familiar sensation of his heart pounding in tune to her own, made her want to weep out of joy.

Minutes later Jack began to pull away, causing Carly to automatically hold him tighter. Jack chuckled low and pressed a kiss to her neck.

"I'll be right back." He said and she reluctantly let him go, feeling decidedly empty in more ways than one as she watched his tight backside slide off of the bed. He grabbed his boxer shorts from the floor and slid into the dark hallway only to return a couple of minutes later with a warm washcloth in his hands.

When everything was said and done, Jack just quietly slipped his boxers off again and lifted the covers of the bed. Pulling Carly to him with his strong arms, he curled around her body, his front to her back, fitting himself to her as if it were second nature.

Carly laid her arms over top his, where they were wrapped around her stomach and held tightly. As Jack covered them up again and turned off the bedside light, he gently kissed her lips and then nuzzled his face into the back of her hair. His eyes were heavy and he felt sleep beginning to claim him. Just before he dropped off he smiled and whispered in her ear the words that he had been dying to say all night.

"I love you, Carly."

Before she could even count to ten in her mind, Carly knew that Jack was completely dead to the world. Yet, even in his slumber, when she turned in his arms Jack moved in sync with her. He adjusted himself so that she was now molded to his side, her head lying on his chest, tucked under his chin.

Carly gently lifted herself up onto an elbow and studied his face, memorizing every detail, every shadow that fell across it. Her fingers reached out to lightly trace the angles of his chin and then over his soft lips, before trailing down his throat to his strong chest where her hand flattened to rest over his heartbeat. She laid her head down on top of her hand and just listened to the reassuring muffled "thump thump".

"I love you too, Jack." Carly whispered in the dark, meaning it with every fiber of her being.

She let out a soft sigh and closed her eyes, warm tears sliding out and splashing onto her hand.

"And that's why I hope that you'll forgive me someday for what I have to do."

Carly allowed sleep to overtake her, knowing that in a few short hours she had to bring both of their worlds to a crashing halt.


	13. Worse Than Heartbreak

**Author's Note: I just wanted to take this moment and thank everyone for the amazing reviews; they keep me going. I'm glad you're enjoying reading this as much as I am writing it and I hope you stick with me because there is a_ lot_ more to come.  
~ Jaclyn**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

_I don't know why they call it heartbreak. __It feels like every other part of my body is broken too.  
__~Missy Altijd  
_************************************************************************

Jack awoke, images of last night running through his mind like a movie on rewind. When the memory of his making love with Carly came into focus he grinned and stretched, like a cat sunning itself. His smile froze as he realized that something was missing. When he opened his eyes, he noticed that he was alone in the master bedroom. Placing his hand next to him on the sheets, he deduced by their coolness that he had been by himself in the bed for some time.

Jack sat up and looking around the room he caught sight of the clock. It was just about eight-thirty and the morning sunlight was filtering in between the still closed shades. It was then that Jack noticed that his clothes had been folded and placed on the end of the bed. The smell of coffee drifted up to him and with a renewed smile, he quickly pulled them on and headed downstairs. Maybe he could convince Carly to come back to bed for a while before the kids came home. Even better yet, to take a joint shower and _then_ come back to bed.

Those thoughts were derailed when he entered the kitchen to find her freshly showered and already dressed for the day. She was standing in front of the sink, looking out the window with a cup of steaming coffee hovering at her lips.

"Good morning, Beautiful." Jack said, sliding up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. He bent his head to kiss her neck and smiled against the familiar scent of her skin.

Carly's heart skipped a beat as he held her and she closed her eyes briefly, all the strength she had been gathering since she had woken up threatening to leave her.

When she had opened her eyes that morning, in the arms of the man who she considered the love of her life, Carly had sworn she had never been happier. But it was only moments later that her brain began to overwork itself.

As perfect as these moments were with Jack, the pain that accompanied the inevitable crash landing of their relationship always threatened to tear her apart. She had only just managed to stand on her own two feet since the last time he had rejected her love and she was terrified of losing herself in him again.

Carly had managed to stay strong back in the beginning of October when he talked about getting back together, though Lord only knows how. She didn't even remember half of what she had said to him. If that nurse hadn't come in when she did, Carly wasn't sure if she would have been able to keep the argument up much longer.

Then that day on the farm, weeks later, they had both decided once and for all not to be together. Carly had stood firm again, but the walls of her shower at home had seen her true heartache as she had huddled at the bottom, sobbing for a dream she knew she would never get over having to abandon.

The truth was that Carly had changed after her brain tumor misdiagnosis, despite what people wanted to believe about her. Even the short affair with Holden, hadn't been about the sex as much as it had been about Carly trying to fill a void that she hadn't really even known was there. For years, her life had revolved around three things: her ambition to be successful, her wonderful children, and Jack, her true north.

When she acquired half of Metro it seemed that finally those three things were going to be achieved. Not only did she have full creative license of the bar, she and Jack had gotten closer over the horrible ordeal with Parker's trial, and she was making progress in rebuilding relationships with her children. But one fateful morning in April, after a night of making love with Jack, her world had come crashing down on her one too many times.

Jack had called their coming together a mistake and it was then that Carly realized that while _she _knew that she had changed, Jack didn't believe she had. Or at least, chose not to believe it. Either way, Carly knew that it was time for her to reclaim who she had been so many years ago; a strong independent woman that wanted the love of a man in her life, but would not be defined by it.

Carly's decision might have been different if she thought that Jack had finally accepted who she was and could love her without conditions. But despite his beautiful words from last night, in the light of morning they were still just that: words.

Sure, some would say that his ending the engagement with Janet was more than a large enough gesture but they didn't know Jack like Carly did. He did not take to change well and deep down she knew that part of this turn of events was due to a fear of the unknown. Carly knew that her heart wasn't strong enough to stand what she considered the most likely scenarios in front of them. Either he would end up resenting her when he was through with this phase of his or he would decided that he really would rather be with Janet and leave her to pick up the pieces of her heart…again

But she knew now that it wasn't just her heart that she had to protect, it was the hearts of their children. The soul-tearing pain that she knew was to come would be little to bear if she could spare her children the same thing if her and Jack hadn't really learned from their past mistakes. After everything, she owed them that much.

And so, somehow, from a place so deep inside of her that she didn't know existed, Carly opened her eyes and managed to pull away from him.

"If you want coffee I just made a fresh pot." Carly said her voice neutral and without even looking at him she could feel his confusion.

"Carly, are you okay?" Jack said, stepping towards her but she just sighed and moved beyond his touch.

"Get your coffee, Jack. We need to talk." Carly said simply and then walked into the living room to prepare for what was coming.

She didn't have to wait long.

"Forget the damn coffee, Carly. What is going on?" Jack demanded following her, the frustration clear in his voice and on his face.

"Jack, last night was…"

"Amazing." Jack finished for her, his eyes dancing.

"A mistake." Carly corrected and she watched his face freeze at her words. Everything inside of her was screaming to take them back immediately but she ignored it. She had to.

There was a time, not so long ago, when Carly would have felt vindication in making him feel the same way that he had made her feel that day in late April. But today, this morning, all Carly felt was numb.

"Carly, what are you talking about?" Jack asked, completely lost.

"Jack, I know that you were in a weird place last night and after everything that happened, I don't blame you. But I meant what I said before. We can't do this." Carly told him, praying he didn't notice her hands trembling as she lifted her coffee to her lips.

"Can't do what?" Jack asked, his mind spinning.

"This. Us." Carly said using one hand to wave in the air to accentuate her words.

"Okay, I know that last night was crazy but that doesn't change the way I feel about you. I love you, Carly." Jack said, moving to step closer to her but stopping when her eyes flashed him a warning.

"Jack, I love you too, but that has never been the problem has it? It's everything else that comes with that love; the hesitations, the mistrust, the fights, the ability to hit where it hurts." Carly said and he shook his head at her words.

"What about the laughter, the children, the incredible way we make love, or having someone there who knows you better than you could ever know yourself?" Jack counteracted each one of those points and looked at her sternly. "Come on, Carly. Stop this. You want to be with me as much as I want to be with you."

"Jack, you just broke off your engagement to another woman less than 12 hours ago! Think about that for a minute, would you?" Carly said, exasperated.

"Trust me, Carly. I know exactly what I did in the last 12 hours. And don't try and act like you aren't happy that I'm not marrying Janet. Ever since we became engaged, you couldn't stand her." Jack said, cocking his head to stare her down.

"Oh God, of course I couldn't stand her, Jack! Since when have I ever been able to stand _any_ of the women you've been with?" Carly scoffed at him, her look clearly marking him an idiot for thinking her dislike landed solely on Janet's feet.

Jack made a face as if to say that statement proved he was right and moved towards her again.

"But that doesn't change my decision about us." Carly's words stopped him in his tracks. "Everything you said last night meant more to me than you'll ever know, but you have to understand, Jack, that we are different people now. You've changed, _I've_ changed. And maybe…we've changed too much."

"Carly, you don't really believe that. I know you don't." Jack said, his eyes running over her face. A smile crept onto his lips and he quirked his eyebrow. "I tell you what. Why don't we put this conversation on pause and go back upstairs where I can show you…"

"Stop it! Just stop it, Jack!" Carly cried loudly, slamming the coffee mug down on the nearby table and throwing her hands up by her face as if about to cover her ears. She closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. "There are reasons…God, so many reasons…that this just can't happen."

Jack was quiet for a moment and then frowned.

"Is one of these reasons named Lee Reynolds?"

"What?" Carly's eyes shot open and stared at him in shock. Of all the things she expected him to say, that wasn't even close.

"Lee. You know, the man you met only two and a half weeks ago but whose company you apparently can't get enough of." Jack bit out, all of the pent up jealousy finally being released. Never mind the fact, that after blatantly asking Carly back, he had proposed to Janet in about the same timeframe just last month.

"Jack, what are you…?" Carly said, her mind still trying to play catch up with his leap.

"Do you love him?" Jack asked and she stared at him. Her brain latched onto his question as to what stood out as her escape. At least it did in "Carly-land".

"Yes, I do. Very much." She found herself saying and Jack blinked in genuine surprise at her answer.

"Then last night meant _what_ to you exactly?" Jack asked quietly.

"Last night wasn't about me, Jack." Carly said, just as quietly.

By implying that she had only made love with him out of a mixture of pity and guilt, she knew that with those words she had effectively achieved her goal of pushing him away. In the moments that followed, Carly could literally feel Jack pulling away from her from deep within her soul.

"I should go." Jack said, his voice low and deceptively calm.

"Jack, please, I don't want this to change…" Carly started to say but at the wounded and angry look in his eyes she stopped.

How could this _not _change everything? Of all their fights, Carly had never deliberately set out to hurt him when he told her he loved her. But this time, in his mind, he had broken his engagement for her and she had just thrown it back in his face. The fact that Carly believed she was doing what she thought was best for everyone was of little or no consequence to him right now. Hopefully in time he would see why she had done it and forgive her.

But today wasn't that day.

Jack opened the front door, grabbing his keys from the desk where he placed them last night.

"Jack, I'm sorry." Carly said, meaning every single syllable.

Jack didn't say anything, didn't even turn around to acknowledge her words. He just stiffened and walked out the door, not even bothering to close it behind him.

Carly moved to shut the door, pressing her forehead against the cool wood. She could feel the tidal wave coming, but knew she had to keep it together for a few minutes more.

Picking up the phone she dialed a familiar number.

"Hello?"

"Emma?"

"Carly, is that you?" Emma asked, gripping the phone tighter.

"Listen, Jack's on his way back to the farm right now."

"Okay..." Emma said, not sure why she was getting this phone call. She wasn't surprised that her nephew had gone to Carly. She had known that was his destination the moment he had taken the keys from her last night.

"Emma, please don't let the kids see him. He not…he's not in a good place right now and they shouldn't see him like this." Carly said, her voice catching but she forced herself to keep going.

Emma was silent for a moment as she listened to the other woman on the phone. No one could ever accuse Emma Snyder of being part of "Team Carly" but at that moment, there was something in the younger woman's voice that made the matriarch of the Snyder family want hold her former niece-in-law close to her and never let go.

It almost sounded like defeat.

"Emma?" Carly said, hearing nothing but silence on the line.

"Okay, Carly. Maybe…maybe I'll take them into town and we'll eat breakfast at Al's. Then…do you think that maybe they'll want to see a movie? I'll even have Mattie call that uncle of hers to see if she can come along." Emma said and at Carly's sigh of relief, Emma knew that she had been correct in assuming that both Jack _and _Carly needed time to collect themselves.

"Thank you, Emma. I just can't…thank you." Carly said and after a quiet goodbye, she hung up the phone.

As Carly replayed the morning in her mind, her chest began to feel tight. Her hand came up to press against her sternum, as if putting pressure on the ache that was growing wildly out of control would stop it from coming all together.

Through the film of tears that were starting to form, she blindly dialed one last number and couldn't help the sob that escaped her when the line was answered.

"I can't…could you come over?" Carly asked and the immediate response had her smile through her tears.

Not more than 15 minutes later, Carly opened the door to find herself face to face with a very concerned Lily.

Taking one look at Carly's expression and watching her struggle to find a breath, everything that Lily had been holding back from her former best friend slid away.

"Carly, what happened?" Lily asked and Carly just shook her head, walking away towards the couch.

"I…I let him go, Lily." Carly said and then it was as if her words truly sunk in. Her eyes widened and she looked over at the other woman standing in her living room. "Oh, God, I love him so much and I let him go."

Everything from the amazing moments last night to the horrifying turn of events this morning came crashing down on her and her stomach rolled.

'I think…" was all Carly managed to get out as she raced towards the downstairs bathroom.

The enormous emotional upheaval was too much and everything in her stomach emptied out into the porcelain bowl.

Images of Jack's face, the love and hope that _she_ had caused to change into pain and anger, ran through her mind. In turn, it brought forth such a strong physical reaction that Carly continued to be sick until finally she was just dry heaving over the toilet.

After a long moment, she became vaguely aware of Lily holding her hair back as she finished and then handing her a mixture of water and mouthwash in a glass.

Dutifully, Carly rinsed out her mouth and placed the glass on the sink counter. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, she saw a haunted face looking back. Carly's knees suddenly felt weak and the pain that had been an ache in her chest exploded, causing her to let out a strangled cry as she began to sink to the ground.

Lily didn't hesitate as she wrapped her arms around Carly's waist and lead her back into the living room. Unable to hold her up any longer, she just held the sobbing woman close as she gently lowered them both to sit on the couch. Rocking her as she would one of her children, Lily whispered soothing words into Carly's ear.

After a while, Carly's tears slowed and she seemed to wake from the painful trance she had been in. Sitting up, she realized what she had done and whose arms were hugging her. She looked away in embarrassment, furiously wiping her face.

"I'm sorry. I just didn't know who else to call." Carly said, her voice ragged and hoarse.

Lily grabbed at one of Carly's hands and held it, then used the other hand to hold Carly's chin. She gently, but firmly, applied pressure to turn her face to meet Lily's own gaze. When she spoke there was no judgment, no accusation. There was only concern and a slight hint of fear.

"Enough. Tell me what happened."

Slowly but then gaining speed, Carly recounted the previous night and this morning. She left some intimate details out but gave Lily enough of what happened for her to look at Carly with wide eyes.

"You told him you slept with him out of pity?" Lily asked, this time her voice held a more than a fair amount of disbelief.

"No! Not…in so many words." Carly said, the nausea rising in her again. Lily could see what was happening and shook off her own shock for the moment in order to counteract Carly's.

"Okay, what about the whole thing with Lee. Did you mean it? Do you love him?" Lily asked and Carly frowned.

"Yes, but…"

"So Jack was right? Lee is the real reason you turned him down."

"No," Carly said, shaking her head emphatically. "I love Lee, but he is definitely not a threat to Jack. Believe me."

"Why?" Lily asked, then bit the bullet and voiced the question that she had been wondering for a while now. "Is he gay?"

Carly looked at Lily, her eyes wide in shock and then burst out laughing. Waves of hysteria rolled over her and Lily started to panic until Carly finally quieted down, wiping renewed tears from her cheeks.

"No, he's not gay. Although things would certainly be easier if he was." Carly said, letting out a leftover chuckle. "I never had a brother but that's the best way I could describe my relationship with Lee."

"Okay, then what's the problem?"

"What_ isn't_ the problem, Lily?" Carly sighed and pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes, trying to stop the sting of tears again. "In case you completely forgot where you were last night, the man just broke off his engagement to Janet! Jack is running scared and all he did was end up in the one place that was familiar to him. I won't be a rebound fling. Not with him."

"Carly, I know you and I know damn well that you don't believe a word you just said to me. The timing was lousy, I'll give him that, but I think it's been coming a long time now. He loves you and you love him!" Lily frowned as Carly just shook her head like a stubborn child.

Finally Lily couldn't take it anymore and pulled Carly's hands down from her face. Meeting her friend's troubled blue gaze, Lily narrowed her eyes.

"Last night, Jack knew _exactly_ where he was going when he left the farm. He knew _exactly_ who he was headed towards and he knew _exactly_ what he wanted to say when he got here." Lily said firmly and when Carly bit her lip, she leaned forward to make sure Carly heard her clearly.

"So tell me the truth, Carly. When you know all of that…which one, you or Jack, is the one who's running scared?"


	14. Doubtful Accusations

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Even doubtful accusations leave a stain behind them."  
-Thomas Fuller_  
************************************************************************

Two and a half weeks.

It had been just over two and a half incredibly _long_ weeks since the confrontation with Jack, and Carly had been pushing herself more than she thought possible. If she wasn't focusing her attention on the kids then she was at Metro, working every possible minute she could without comment. Even smart aleck Henry had pulled her aside and mentioned that he couldn't afford to lose a partner if she continued at this pace. She had ignored him, just like she had all the others trying to tell her to slow down.

Lee had been sweet and far more understanding than she could have expected when she explained what had happened with Jack the night of the engagement party. When she had told him about Jack's assumption about them he had frowned and shook his head, blowing it off as typical male jealousy. Then, in his typically direct manner, he had also called her out on indulging Jack in his "suspicions". Lee said that while he understood on principle what she was trying to do, she was going about it the completely wrong way.

In the end, Carly had ignored him too.

They didn't understand. No one could possibly understand. Whenever Carly slowed down or stopped to think about that night, Lily's words constantly ran through her mind. When they did they brought forth the possibility that maybe_, just maybe_, she had been mistaken about pushing Jack away.

It was hard enough trying to keep it together every time she saw her children's faces.

There was hope and eagerness from Sage, curiosity and anticipation from J.J., and a never ending cycle between worry and slight accusation from Parker. It took every ounce of strength Carly had to deflect all their questions about that night and ignore the insinuations about the possibilities of a reunion between her and Jack.

Carly had expected everyone in Oakdale to look at her like the broken engagement was her fault but either they were just so used to the pattern of her and Jack's relationships, or they didn't care anymore because no one bothered to look at her twice beyond that first day.

Even Janet just blatantly ignored Carly's presence even though she had run into the woman at the mall, just a few days after everything had happened. But other than a long and decidedly uncomfortable gaze they had gone their separate ways. Carly attributed the lack of fireworks to the fact that she had been with Sage while Janet had Vienna with her, babbling away in Janet's ear about something or other.

But one of the last half days the schools had before they let out for winter break, Carly and Janet came face to face again. Yet it wasn't the two women who had it out in the middle of the Old Town.

Carly and Parker had just picked up his new hockey skates, an early Christmas present, when they saw Janet and Liberty coming out of Java together. Liberty took one look at them and glared before quickly turning Janet around the other way. Carly knew that since the night of the engagement party, Liberty hadn't even looked at Parker, believing that Carly and Jack had deliberately set out to hurt her mom.

Apparently that glare was the straw that broke the camel's back and Parker couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Liberty, wait!" He called and the young girl froze in her tracks.

He jogged towards her and after a speaking a quick moment with her mom, Liberty walked in his direction, meeting him halfway.

"Liberty…" Parker started but at her cool gaze he realized that he didn't even know where to begin.

"Don't, Parker, just don't. I just have one question for you." Liberty said, saving him the trouble of trying to come up with words. "Are you happy now?"

"What are you talking about?" Parker asked, looking down into her face.

"You never wanted my mom with your dad, admit it! You and your whole family are probably doing a happy dance that they're not getting married."

Liberty's pain and embarrassment for her mom flowed from her in waves as her voice escalated into a near yell.

"What? Why do you look so shocked? After all, you guys already tried to break them up back at Halloween! Did you and your mom have a back up plan in case your dad didn't pull out of the wedding in time? Was she going to stand up in the middle of the church and fake a dizzy spell? Or what about Sage? You could always just have her run away and refuse to show up to the wedding at all!"

Parker understood that Liberty was upset and had every right to be, but as she hurled ugly accusations about his family in his face he could feel his blood begin to boil.

"Enough!" He said, his voice low but apparently there was something in it that made Liberty stop short. Parker's eyes blazed and his jaw ticked with pent up frustration. Ironically he looked very much like Jack did when he was upset.

"Liberty, I'm sorry about what happened with Jack and your mom. I really am. She's really nice and she didn't deserve to be hurt like that, but you leave my mom and little sister out of it." Parker said, his entire body trembling.

Liberty just stared at him in surprise then glared again.

"Parker, we both know that your little sister would have done _anything_ to split them up. I'm almost afraid to think about what she could have possibly thought up next. And who do you think she was taking her cues from?"

"You know something?" Parker told her, forcing his voice to stay calm. "I don't know what happened that night and somehow I highly doubt that you know the whole truth either. But I can tell you this much, my mom had nothing to do with it."

"Maybe not blatantly but she must have done something! Maybe she said something that made your dad think about breaking up with my mom!" Liberty tried again and Parker rolled his eyes.

"So you're blaming my mom for a decision in my dad's mind that she had no control over?" Parker asked, trying to show her how convoluted that thought process was. He shook his head and sighed.

"In case you don't remember, my mom had done nothing but encourage Jack to be with your mom. My mom even turned him down _weeks_ ago when he told her wanted to get back together. She doesn't even think that I know about it, but I heard her talking about it to Lily on the phone."

"See! That just proves it! She knew he would come back to her if he broke up with my mom!" Liberty cried and Parker balled his fists by his side.

"Liberty, stop! Tell me something, okay? If they were plotting to be together and break your mom's heart then why can't they even stand to be in the same room now?"

Liberty stopped abruptly and looked at him curiously.

"What are you talking about?"

"Ever since my dad broke it off with your mom, everything's changed. He drops us off in front of the house instead of coming in and mom does the same thing at the farm. And that's only if we're not being carpooled around by my aunt Emma, Holden, or Lily. They won't talk on the phone and if they do it's to leave each other stupid voicemails. It's even worse when they try and go through us kids! The other day, Dad asked about where Mom would be sitting at J.J.'s championship soccer game. Then he sat at the complete opposite end of the field with Holden and me while Mom sat on the other with Lily and Sage. Does that sound like two people who are passionately in love?"

Parker had started to tell her this to show her how wrong she was but instead his own frustration at the situation came tumbling out of him.

Liberty had listened to him and for a moment he thought he could see her softening, but then she shook her head and the steely determination set back in. Apparently the combination of Brad Snyder and Janet Ciccone's genes had created one stubborn girl.

"I'm sorry, Parker. I know with all of that, it's probably easy to assume that you're right. But if you really and truly believe that your mom had nothing to do with our parents breaking up then you're an idiot." Liberty said and with that turned, walking back over to where Janet stood waiting. Speaking quietly with her mother, Liberty took her coffee back and together they walked away.

Parker stood there, silently watching them go. Carly came up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder but he immediately shrugged her off. He turned and stalked the rest of the way to the car, leaving Carly no choice but to follow him. The ride home was made in silence with Carly glancing every so often at Parker, but his face was unreadable.

Entering the house Carly quickly thanked Mrs. O'Neil, who had kindly offered to watch Sage and J.J. while she took Parker into Old Town.

Mrs. O'Neil refused any type of payment, neatly slipping out the door before she could stop her. Instead Carly just laughed and waved as the pleasant older woman walked back over to her own house, vowing to pay her in one of Emma's famous apple pies next time she came over.

As soon as Carly shut the door, Parker spoke up. His voice was quiet and determined as was the expression on his face when she turned around to look at him.

"Did you do something to make Dad break up with Janet? I want the truth."

Carly looked her oldest son straight in the eye and sighed.

"No, I did not."

Parker searched her face and then frowned.

"Do you still love Dad?"

"Yes." Carly whispered without hesitation and he nodded, having already known that answer but needing to hear it just the same.

"Does Dad still love you?"

Carly thought a moment and closed her eyes. Two weeks ago, she would have been able to answer her son with no problem. But now…

"I don't know." Carly said, opening her eyes and staring at Parker through a slight film of tears. "I honestly don't know."

"Did Dad come over here after he broke up with Janet the night of the party?"

A brief hesitation and then she gave another sigh.

"Yes, he did."

Parker's eyes narrowed and he thought back.

"But then you had another fight, didn't you? That's why we were with Aunt Emma all morning and why when we came home you didn't want to talk about Dad and Janet. I thought you were acting weird but..."

Parker trailed off and glared at her. "Mom, I said I wanted the truth. _Did_..._you_..._make_..._Dad_...break up with Janet? Is that what the fight was about?"

"Parker, enough!" Carly finally snapped and looked at her son sternly. She didn't even bother to deny that they had a fight, knowing that her and Jack's actions for the past couple of weeks spoke for themselves.

"The fight between your dad and I had nothing to do with Janet. And yes, it's true that I'm_ not _sorry they aren't together anymore but breaking it off with her was completely your father's idea. You asked for the truth before and I gave it to you. I think you owe me enough respect to let up on the third degree."

Parker continued to glare for a moment or two longer but then he averted his eyes. His parents just didn't get it. Parker was old enough that he could remember a time, not so long ago, that even when they fought, in the end they just held onto each other and their family tighter. He just couldn't understand how the last few years had done so much damage to his parent's relationship.

Letting out a soft breath and then looking at his mom, Parker's expression was so much older than his age.

"The fight you had with Dad, it was different this time wasn't it?"

Now that Parker had confirmation that she and Jack had a fight, she wasn't surprised that her sensitive son had picked up on the level of damage that had been done.

"Yes, it was different." Carly answered quietly and despite her trying to hide it, Parker was stunned to see the brief glimpse of pain on his mom's face.

He wasn't a little kid anymore, hadn't been for a long time, and therefore knew that his parents weren't perfect. Far from it, in fact. But it still shook him during the times when he caught sight of the more human side of them.

Parker didn't say anything more, but nodded to her and started to head upstairs. He stopped on the second stair and turned to look back at her. Carly was leaning on the desk by the door, her shoulders slumped as her head hung down and Parker suddenly saw just how tired she truly was.

He had been all set to blame her again for the trouble in their lives. After all, it was easier to be mad at someone when you knew that they would love you no matter what. But as he watched her shoulders shake with silent tears, he knew that he couldn't do it. Whatever had happened between his parents was obviously taking its toll on his mom, more than she was letting on. A wave of fierce protectiveness swept over him and he walked back down the steps.

"Hey, Mom?"

She startled and looked up at him, the tears on her cheeks further evidence that she had thought he had gone upstairs. Without saying another word, he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight.

Carly was momentarily stunned but quickly hugged him back. She let out a sigh, rocking them both side to side gently with the tiniest of motions.

"I love you, Parker. Please remember that I love you, J.J. and Sage so much. I would do anything for you, anything to protect you." Carly said, pressing her cheek to her son's shoulder and squeezing strongly before letting him go. "Even from things that you don't understand right now."

"We know, Mom. We love you too." Parker said giving her a tiny smile, hesitant at her confusing words. She smiled back, before gathering herself together and heading to the kitchen to start dinner. Parker watched her go, his smile fading as soon as she disappeared into the other room.

"What the hell happened, Mom?" Parker whispered out loud. "And why do I have the feeling that things are going to get so much worse before they get better?"

As he turned to finally go upstairs, for once in his life Parker hoped that one of his gut feelings was wrong. Unfortunately, so far they never had been.


	15. The Fraternity of Strangers

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Great perils have this beauty, that they bring to light the fraternity of strangers."  
-Victor Hugo  
_************************************************************************

"Hey, Mikey, one more."

"Hun, what's going on? You haven't drank like this since…" The bartender trailed off and just looked at his customer before obliging and giving her another beer.

Janet sighed and shook her head.

"Mikey, did you just ever have one of those days?" When Mike, the bartender at the Lakeview nodded, she nodded along with him. "I've had one of those months. Hell, one of those years."

"What happened, Lass?" Mike said and Janet smirked at his nickname for her. Even though she had told him her name was probably the Hebrew form of Janet, meaning gift from God, and not the Scottish one that meant girl, he had stuck to calling her Lass.

The night that Jack had called off their engagement, a furious yet distraught Janet had run into Lisa Grimaldi at the front desk of the Lakeview as she was trying to get a room. Lisa had taken her aside and as soon as Janet explained the situation she had told her that she could stay at the Lakeview as long as she needed. Lisa had even given her a deluxe room at an absurdly low weekly rate. When Janet had asked her why she was doing this Lisa had mumbled something about Hurricane Carly and Jack, adding on a mini rant about some woman named Julia.

Janet's brain hadn't been able to wrap around someone else's problems that night, so she had been forced to tune Lisa out after a few minutes. Finally she just accepted the generous offer and after getting her room key, promptly headed to the bar.

And that's where she had met Mike and spent a long drunken night bending his ear, alternating between feeling periods of absolute devastation and uncontrollable rage. Mike had taken care of her well, especially after hearing her story, and had even discretely gotten a hotel employee he trusted to see her to her room at the end of the night.

Ever since then she had enjoyed coming to the bar before going to her room every other night to have a glass of white wine or a beer and just talk to Mike. He was a good listener even his though his boyfriend Kyle joked with her one night, after joining them at the bar, that Mike rarely listened to a word _he_ said.

"So what's going on?" Mike prompted her again and she took a long sip of beer, before looking at him.

"So you know how I told you that thankfully Carly and I have been able to avoid each other?" Janet said.

"Yeah," Mike nodded. "You said it's a good thing too or else you would go all, and I quote, 'ape shit on her skinny blonde ass'. End quote."

"I said that?" Janet asked, confused. "I don't..."

"Well that might have been the night you challenged Kyle to the tequila shoot off." Mike said, wryly.

"Oh yeah…_not_ a good night." Janet said chuckling at what little she remembered about that incident.

"Hey, I told you not to challenge him. He drinks the hard stuff like it's water." Mike said, fondly. "Just don't give him wine. Then he babbles like you've injected him with truth serum."

Janet laughed and then Mike waved her on with her story.

"Well, I originally had off of work today, but Henry called and needed me to work the morning shift. So I figured why not, right? Well Liberty had one of her half days of school before break so she comes in just as my shift's ending and wants to go see a movie with me."

"You've got a good kid." Mike said and Janet nodded, but her smile didn't reach her eyes. He was about to say something else when the customer at the end of the bar flagged him down. He poured the man another shot of scotch and then returned to Janet, bringing another beer with him.

"So, we stop to get coffee before we go and who do we see, but…" Janet said, accepting the beer but indicating that this was it for her tonight.

"Lemme guess. Carly?" Mike said and Janet pointed her beer bottle at him.

"Give the man a prize." Janet said and sighed. "Parker was with her and even though I tried to tell Liberty to take it easy on him, sure enough they got into a huge argument."

"Right there in the middle of town?" Mike asked incredulously, and then his eyes twinkled. "Did she slap him?"

"No! Of course not!" Janet said, before realizing that Mike was joking. "Parker had nothing to do with any of this mess and I understand that. But my baby girl, she just can't see that."

"So that's what got you all upset? Liberty fighting with Parker?" Mike asked, confused.

"No, it was what happened afterwards between Liberty and _me_." Janet said and Mike shook his head.

"I don't understand, Lass."

"Did you know that Carly and Jack haven't seen each other since that night? They haven't even talked to each other on the phone, according to Parker." Janet said, trailing her finger down the side of her beer bottle and staring at it intently.

"Do you think it's some sort of ploy?" Mike asked.

"I don't know! At least…I don't think so. I mean, knowing Carly, if she and Jack were together she'd be shouting it from the rooftops just to rub it in. Right?" Janet asked, her eyes searching Mike's face like he had the answer.

"But that's not what Liberty said to you that's making you so upset." Mike deduced and Janet lowered her eyes.

"She said that if Parker was right and if Jack wasn't with Carly, then maybe that means I did lose him on my own. And that maybe she was following my footsteps by letting good things slip through my fingers like I did with Brad and now Jack." Janet said, hearing her daughter's angry words as if she was standing right next to her. "Then she said to forget the movies and she would get a ride back to her dad's house from her friend, Mindy. I tried to talk to her but she just walked away."

"Come on, Lass. It'll be okay. She's just upset and confused right now." Mike consoled her, patting her hand. "She loves you."

"Yeah, I know. I love her too. But…" Janet replied and Mike frowned, knowing what was coming. "What if she's right? If Jack didn't break it off to be with Carly then…"

"Stop that, Lass. You know, I've been thinking..."

"Uh oh." Janet smirked, taking a sip of beer. "You going to go all Yoda on me, Mikey?"

"Hey, you could always go to Metro and drink over there with your buddy Carly." Mikey said and Janet held up her hands in a surrendering gesture.

"Yeah, okay, never mind. By all means, please continue." Janet said then muttered under her breath, "Yoda."

Mike playfully snapped the dish towel he was using at her before throwing it over his shoulder and looking at her in all seriousness.

"I was thinking that, maybe, sometimes people come into your life to give you things that you never knew you needed. But when they're done they move on, making sure that you move on to where you're supposed to be in your life too." Mike said, leaning towards her thoughtfully.

"Take Brad for example. He gave you Liberty. You weren't expecting her but can you imagine life without her?"

A breath caught in Janet's throat and she shook her head forcefully. She and Liberty had been each other's world for so long that no matter what happened between her and her daughter, there was a bond between them that no one could ever break.

"And Jack," Mike thought a moment longer and then smiled sadly at her. "He showed you there was life after Brad. That there are still good guys out there."

Janet snorted in a very unladylike manner and Mike just looked at her sternly.

"Hey now, Lass. He might have turned out to be a jerk but he was a compassionate jerk. Remember what you told me he said to you that night?"

Janet sighed and nodded, tears springing to her eyes.

"He said that he loved me, just not the way I deserved to be loved. That some day a guy is going to sweep me off my feet and make me ask myself, 'Jack who?'." Janet said and even though she understood what he was saying, the pain was still incredibly fresh in her heart. "But God, Mikey, I don't know how that will ever happen. I love…loved him so much."

"I know, Lass. But it's better that you get the heartbreak in now then to have a ring on your finger and get it broken later on, a million times worse." Mike said, patting her hand gently. "You're a good woman. You'll find love again someday. Just, do yourself a favor. Stay out of the Snyder family tree, will ya?"

The slamming of a shot glass on the counter caught both of their attention and they turned to look down at the end of the bar. The man at the end looked in their direction and waved the shot glass.

"Another." He said and then eyed Janet up and down before turning back to stare in the mirror behind the bar.

"Okay, easy fella. I'm just helping this lady throw herself a one woman pity party." Mike said, winking at Janet.

"Oh, please! What does she have to be upset about?" The man said, contempt spilling out of his voice, the slight slur an indication that this was not the first bar he'd been at this evening.

"What the hell does that mean? How dare you? You don't even know me!" Janet said, banging her beer bottle down and turning to glare at the arrogant stranger.

"I know that whatever little problem you're going through it doesn't even begin to compare to the mess that is my life. So could I get some service _please_?" He sneered and waved the shot glass again.

"And what could be so bad that you are downing shots of scotch like they are candy?" Janet said, angrily.

"How about the fact that my son was kidnapped and I just lost the only lead I had to find him!" He growled back and then threw back the shot Mike placed before him, before whispering again. "Dammit, I just want my son."

The next words in Janet's mouth stuck as she took in this stranger's full appearance. He was decidedly handsome, not GQ model handsome, but there was something about him that would make a girl's head turn twice. The way he carried himself, it was obvious that arrogance was a huge part of his nature but now she saw the slight slump of his shoulders and the bags under his eyes.

"I'm sorry. What happened?" Janet asked before she could stop herself. She cringed as soon as the words left her mouth especially when the man threw her an incredulous look.

"I'm sorry," Janet apologized again and held up a hand in a contrite gesture. "I didn't mean to say that. It's none of my business. I just…I can't imagine losing my daughter. No one deserves that."

The man let out a cynical snort of laughter and picked up the high ball of scotch that Mike had silently set in front of him. Saluting the watchful bartender with it and taking a long sip, he turned mocking eyes on her.

"There are many people in this town that would disagree with you." He said and shook his head, trying to figure out why he wanted to tell this dark eyed woman his life's story.

Then again, what the hell? He didn't know her and it felt good to talk to someone who wouldn't judge him right off the bat. He thought he had found that recently but even she had been deceiving him and in the end he was left alone once again.

"I have done a lot of things that I regret but they were always for the good of my family. Now, I just don't want to lose any more time than I already have with the ones who are left."

"I wish I could help you find your son." Janet said and he scrutinized her closely before giving a very charming smile.

"You know something? I wish you could too."

She watched him a moment longer and titled her head, studying him before sticking out her hand. "Name's Janet Ciccone."

The man looked at her hand and then smiled as he reached out to shake it.

"Craig Montgomery."

As the man sidled up to Janet at the bar, Mike got sudden chills up his spine. Something was off about this guy, but before he could put his finger on it another customer sat down at the bar. Before long, Mike was so busy that he had forgotten to figure out what bothered him about the handsome stranger now buying Janet's next beer.

**Author's Note: I know it was a slight filler chapter but it was important to the future storyline, trust me :) Enjoy.**


	16. Hell and Redemption

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Hell is yourself and the only redemption is when a person puts himself aside to feel deeply for another person."  
__-Tennessee Williams  
_************************************************************************

Katie Peretti Snyder was having a really bad Monday.

First she woke up on the couch, her hand numb from its outstretched position to reach the laptop on the coffee table. Thankfully all her background checks into Spencer's past had still been up and running.

Then her teenaged stepdaughter had come home from staying at the Lakeview, where her mom had been living for the past month. She had been completely upset about another argument they had, stomping around the house and muttering under her breath. Since the end of the previous week, it seemed that all Janet and Liberty had done was fight. When Katie had asked about this particular battle, Liberty had blown her off completely except for another mutter something about her mom making friends with some new guy really fast. Katie hadn't gotten any more out of her before the bedroom door slammed shut and locked.

Now, to top it all off, if she didn't hurry she was going to be late to meet her sister Margo for lunch at Metro. Lord only knew why the female cop wanted to meet there, knowing how much Katie detested one of its owners. But after the strain between them recently, Katie would indulge her just this once. Plus they desperately needed to discuss this rumor that their crooked brother, Craig, was back in town.

All in all, it looked to be an exceptionally tense lunch.

Katie's stomach growled and she suddenly felt light headed, making her pause to think about when the last time she had actually eaten was. Realizing that it was probably lunch the previous day, Katie purposely picked up the pace.

Hearing a scuffling noise in the small throughway alley to her right made Katie's head turn and when it did she caught her breath in shock. At the far end, in the shadows, she could make out a male figure and small female exchanging money. Even though the male was completely hidden, the female's face was temporarily lit by an errant ray of sunlight.

"Spencer!" Katie found herself calling out and then realized her idiotic mistake. Spencer's head shot up and apparently recognizing Katie's voice she froze briefly but then bolted down the back way. Katie didn't stop to think as she grabbed her cell phone out of her pocket and went to hit Brad's speed dial as she headed down into the alleyway after her. Somehow, in the shock of seeing Spencer, Katie had forgotten about the girl's male companion.

It was the same male companion who suddenly stepped into Katie's path and grabbed her by the neck. Slamming the petite blonde against the brick wall next them, his grip tightened causing Katie's world begin to slide on an axis. The sound of hard plastic hitting the ground echoed faintly in her ears and it occurred to her that she hadn't been able to press the number for Brad long enough to dial.

The man's angry brown eyes bored into hers and then the cool blade of a switch knife grazed her cheek. The fact that he wore no mask and was looking directly at her without any hesitation, did not bode well for Katie.

"Such a pretty girl. It's a shame there isn't time to do everything I want to do to you." He said, his breath hot on her face and Katie felt tears slide down her cheeks. Then a sharp, white hot pain started in her abdomen and then spread throughout her body, causing her to gasp despite the grip he still had on her throat. She could see him pull the now bloody knife away from her body and rear back to stab her again.

Thinking of Brad and how much she loved him, Katie closed her eyes and prepared to die.

"Hey! What are you doing?" A voice yelled out and Katie's attacker froze.

"Get off of her! I have a gun!"

The thug looked up to peer down the busy street end of the alleyway. Sure enough, the person standing with the sun behind them was pointing a gun in his direction. He looked down at the small bleeding blonde in front of him and let go of her neck. She crumpled to the ground, holding her stomach where he had stabbed her. Not pausing to give it another thought he took off down the back end of the alleyway, disappearing around the corner.

"Hello, I need help! A woman named Katie Snyder has been stabbed in the alleyway between 9th and Rider. It's three blocks from the club Metro. Please hurry!" A faintly familiar voice echoed in the alley, quickly coming closer to where Katie lay shaking on the ground. Yet Katie still thought she was dreaming when she saw who had run to her side and was now leaning over her, putting pressure on her wound.

"Carly?"

"Yeah, yeah it's me." Carly said, trying to keep the horror out of her voice as she knelt by the bleeding woman on the ground. She hated Katie with a passion usually reserved only by the likes of Barbara Ryan, but this type of brutal attack was something no one deserved.

"Did you see her? Tell me you saw her too!" Katie asked, her words intermingled with gasps of pain.

Carly shook her head, not understanding Katie's words at all, and made a shushing noise. "Don't talk, Katie. I called 911 and they're on their way."

Carly had taken her thick gray wool scarf off of her neck and was now using it to press down on Katie's stomach. At the younger woman's yelp of pain, Carly couldn't help but wince.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know it hurts. I have to try and stop the bleeding."

The scarf was now soaked in blood, as were Carly's hands, and yet she could still feel the warm sticky liquid flowing out from under them.

"Oh God, please hurry." Carly sent up a prayer and thankfully she could hear sirens in the not so far distance only moments later.

"It's…it's not so bad now." Katie said, her color much paler than Carly would have liked.

"It's okay to be okay, Katie. I promise. Just lay still and please stop talking." Carly said, shaking her head.

Katie could feel her body getting heavy and the edges of her view were blurry, as if she had put on someone else's glasses. Her head was fuzzy and she could hear someone talking to her but it sounded as if she was hearing it from underwater. Who was it? The voice spoke again and Katie remembered.

Carly.

If Carly was with her, then Katie had something recognizable to hold onto instead of the growing darkness that was quickly filling her with terror. Since Carly fought everyone and everything, surely she would fight the shadows that were slipping into Katie's view. She could feel the darkness threatening to take her someplace cold; somewhere Brad wouldn't be able to find her.

But what if Carly left her?

Then Katie would be alone and that thought made her begin to cry quietly.

"Stay with me…please. No matter what." Katie's voice had grown softer and the hushed sob that followed her words made Carly's blood run cold in panic.

"Of course I'm going to stay with you. Now I said stop talking!" She said irritably and Katie's eyes cleared somewhat as they narrowed.

"No…need…to…yell at…me." She said and despite her shallower breathing she still managed to sound like an angry and petulant child. Carly sighed with relief, both because Katie seemed to revive more with her anger and the fact that Carly had finally heard the scuffling of the EMTs behind her.

As they kindly but firmly got Carly out of the way to work on Katie, she moved to pick up Katie's forgotten cell phone. The screen was now cracked but Carly could read the number that was almost dialed. Hitting the send button she pressed the phone to her ear.

"Hey, baby, you at lunch with Margo?" Brad's deep voice rumbled in Carly's ear and she sighed.

"No, Brad. It's Carly."

"Carly?" Brad confusion was more than obvious. "But…"

"Brad, listen to me. I don't have time to explain right now." Carly said as she watched the EMTs begin to load Katie on a gurney. "There's been an accident. I need you to meet me at Memorial as soon as you can. I don't care what you're doing, just get there."

"Carly, is Katie okay?" Brad asked but at Carly's silence he knew he had his answer. "Never mind, I'll be right there."

Carly pulled the now silent phone from her ear, and then realized that her hands had transferred blood onto the formerly sleek pink device. She felt her stomach turn over but pushed those thoughts away as Katie rolled past her view.

The younger blonde caught sight of Carly even though her eyes were growing too heavy to keep open much longer. With one last burst of strength she reached out her hand to Carly and her gaze sent out a silent plea.

"I'm going with her." Carly said, moving forward to take Katie's hand.

"Ma'am…" one of the EMTs started to say but she shut him up with a death glare.

"I said I'm going with her!" Carly practically growled at the man and he blinked in surprise.

One of his colleagues had told him about a gorgeous but stubborn blonde that they had treated a little over a month prior and if EMT Mac Jamison didn't know any better he could have sworn that this was the same lady.

Realizing that time was of the essence and that the angry woman in front of him wasn't going to back down, he nodded. Less than a heartbeat later they were on their way to the hospital. Even there it took three nurses and another EMT to pry Carly's hand from Katie's as the wheeled her into the emergency OR.

When Brad rushed in, Carly was just finished wiping off as much blood from her hands as she could with a towel from one of the nurses. His frantic eyes darted around the ER waiting room until they landed on Carly and then he made a beeline for her.

"What happened? Where is she? What's going on?" He bombarded her with questions and Carly raised a hand to her forehead in protest. Seeing her blood stained hands Brad stopped short, his stomach feeling like it had just plummeted into his shoes.

Carly followed his gaze and dropping her hand back to her side she quickly sat him in a chair before his legs buckled. Then, sitting beside him, she finally spoke.

"Katie's gone into surgery; they haven't come out yet. Some guy attacked her in the alley near Metro. I was on my way to work and happened to be there to scare the guy off. I found her, called 911 and then…we came here." Carly said as simply as she could, not wanting to go into the gory details. He would want all of it later, but right now she knew his focus wasn't on anything but his wife.

Brad nodded, trying to slow his breathing down to help calm his heart rate. He looked at Carly's hands again and she also looked down.

"I'm going to go wash up. I'll be right back." Carly said standing and was about to walk to the bathroom when Brad's voice stopped her.

"Why are you…?" he trailed off, not sure how to phrase his question but Carly understood it anyway.

"Because she asked me stay with her. That's what I intend to do until she says otherwise." Carly said simply and then disappeared into the ladies room, missing the smile that briefly crossed Brad's lips.

When Carly came back out, she knew that she had taken longer than one would expect to wash one's hands. But Carly absolutely refused to leave the bathroom until every speck of blood had been washed from her body, including under her fingernails. Her skin was practically rubbed raw but she had done it and felt somewhat cleaner now.

As she walked back over to Brad, she placed a hand on his back. He jumped, slightly startled and then looked at her with a dazed look. She frowned and sat down next to him, shaking her head.

"Not yet, Brad. Stay focused for a little longer. The doctor will be out soon." Carly said and as if it was from her lips to God's ears, the OR surgeon came out wiping his hands on a towel.

"Mr. Snyder?" He asked and Brad jumped to his feet, Carly not far behind him.

The doctor's eyes slid to her for a millisecond before going back to Brad.

"Your wife is going to be fine. The knife knicked a blood vessel which is why she lost so much blood, but it thankfully it turned out not to be anything that required major surgery. Once we found the problem we were able to stop the bleeding relatively quickly which is a very good thing. I'm not going to lie to you, a few more minutes and your wife wouldn't be here."

Brad threw a look in Carly's direction but she just avoided his gaze and concentrated on the doctor.

"She needed to have a blood transfusion during surgery and she'll be receiving another unit for the next 4 hours, approximately. However, her vitals are strong and stable enough that she's been moved to recovery room 5. The anesthesia will start to wear off in a little while, so you can talk to her once the nurse checks the IV line and she's completely settled. That should only be a few minutes. I'll be there in little while with the rest of the test results and to answer any questions you might have."

The doctor shook Brad's hand and disappeared again, leaving a stunned Brad and Carly behind.

With a giant sigh of relief Brad grabbed Carly in a hug which, after a shocked moment, she returned. When he let go, he turned to ask a nurse how to get to Katie's room and then started towards the elevator. Pausing before it opened, Brad looked back at Carly.

"I thought you said she asked you to stay with her?"

With a small perplexed smile, Carly nodded and went with him to Katie's room. The nurse that was leaving gave them a smile and waved them in, letting them know that Katie was beginning to awaken.

The young woman looked incredibly tiny, lying in the hospital bed with an IV line, a blood unit, and a heart monitor beeping away. Brad rushed over to her side; bending down to kiss her forehead, while Carly hovered uncomfortably by the door.

A low, soft moan caught their attention and Brad smiled down at his slowly awakening wife.

"Brad?" Katie's eyes fluttered open and she smiled at the sight of his face. Then the smiled faded and her brow furrowed. "What happened?"

"Shh, it's okay. You're okay now." Brad said and Katie shook her head lightly.

"Where am I?" Her voice was soft and then a small gasp escaped her. "Oh, my God, the alley! Spencer! I saw her, Brad, but she got away. I'm so sorry!"

Katie's eyes frantically searched Brad's face and even though he was dying to find out what she was talking about he just hushed her again.

"Katie, just relax. You can tell me everything later, okay?"

Katie nodded but then gasped again. "Where's Carly? Is she okay?"

Brad looked over to where Carly stood and she shifted on her feet, clearing her throat quietly.

"I'm here. I'm right here, Katie."

Katie's eyes flew to where Carly stood by the door and her shoulders dropped in a combination of relief and confusion.

"You stayed." Katie said softly and Carly nodded.

"I stayed." She echoed and Katie nodded back before her expression changed to one of complete bewilderment.

"Carly, where…where did you get a gun?" Katie asked, a puzzling detail from earlier popping into her mind.

Carly looked sheepish for a moment, her hand crossing in front of her to scratch the side of her neck.

"Well, actually, it was a water gun of J.J.'s. I, uh, took it from him this morning when he shot milk at Sage over the breakfast table. He's going to kill me cause I think I left it behind in the alley." Carly said, letting out a small nervous laugh.

"My God, Carly, what were you thinking? What if that guy hadn't believed you?" Brad exclaimed, his mind running through what could have happened to both women if the attacker hadn't bought Carly's bluff.

"I _wasn't_ thinking." Carly said honestly. "I knew that the sun was behind me and he probably could only see my outline from his spot. Not to mention I just wanted to buy some time and possibly get him away from Katie before he could..."

Carly trailed off and there was silence again. Then Katie opened her mouth to say something, but never got it out.

"Good, look who's awake." The doctor interrupted, cheerfully entering the room. He had Katie's medical chart pressed to his chest and he grinned at the patient in the bed. "Well, I have excellent news! You should make a full recovery. Of course, you're going to be sore for a while but that's to be expected."

Brad grinned at Katie and kissed her softly, feeling his entire body relax.

"The best news of all is we just got the final test results in and since the wound was completely away from the uterus, the baby is fine."

He paused when they all looked at him in utter shock, no one moving a muscle.

"The _what_ now?" Brad finally found his voice and asked, blinking hard and shaking his head.

Katie's hand flew to her stomach as her jaw dropped open.

The doctor looked at them and frowned.

"You didn't know?" He asked and both Brad and Katie shook their heads numbly. "Well, I guess that's not surprising since you're only about 4 to 5 weeks along, Mrs. Snyder. The obstetrician on call can give you a more exact date when she comes to examine you later today. But rest assured none of the anesthesia or surgery was harmful and your baby looks incredibly healthy despite the state of its mother."

Brad looked down at Katie whose blue eyes shimmered as she looked back up at him. Then she began to laugh, the tears of joy sliding down her face as he gathered her to him gently. Kissing her over and over, he began to laugh too.

Grinning, the doctor turned to Carly and tilted his head.

"I take it you are the woman who helped her in that alley?" He asked and Carly just nodded. He stuck out his hand and she accepted his handshake. "How does it feel knowing that you actually saved _two_ lives today?"

Carly looked at a beaming Katie and Brad and grinned. "Pretty damn good."

He laughed and covered their hands with his other one before letting go. Turning he looked over at Brad and Katie and smiled. "I'll be back in a little while to check on you. May I suggest that you get some rest? You're gonna need it."

When he was gone Carly looked over at Katie, whose hand had yet to leave her lower stomach. She could easily read the absolute joy on the young woman's face, reveling in the knowledge that she was going to be a mother. Her kids were hardly babies anymore but Carly could remember that feeling well. With everything that Carly had done in her life, all the fashion shows and work she put into Metro, her children were her greatest pride and joys. And Carly knew that Katie would feel the same way she did from this moment on.

"Well, well, well. Katie Peretti Snyder…all grown up." She said and Katie's eyes shot to Carly's face, remembering the first time that Carly had said similar words to her.

Images flew their minds of newborn Sage, a rustic cabin, and four very different women who, for one night, laid their personal differences aside to bond and celebrate new beginnings.

"Carly, I don't even know how to begin…" Katie said, shaking her head and frowning.

"Right place, right time. Nuff said." Carly told her, brushing aside her thank you. When Katie reached out her hand, Carly hesitated only a moment before stepping up to the bed and taking it in her own.

Her eyes connected with Katie's and both women smiled softly. Though they knew that even though nothing would ever truly be forgotten, a hell of a lot had just been forgiven…on both sides. It's amazing how much absolution a new innocent life can bring.

"Well," Carly said, squeezing Katie's hand before letting it go. "Like the doctor said, the mommy-to-be should be getting some rest. Not to mention I have to go make sure that Metro is still standing without me. Or at least that Henry still is."

The laugh that rose in her stuck in her throat as the door to Katie's room opened.

"Jack, what are you doing here?" Brad asked and his eyes darted to his wife then to Carly, who now looked decidedly paler than the patient in the bed.

"I heard about Katie on the police scanner and then I got a frantic call from Margo confirming it. What the hell happened?" Jack asked his brother and Katie, completely ignoring Carly's presence in the room.

This was fine with Carly, as she used the time to just soak up the image of him and store it in her mind for later.

It had been exactly three weeks, one day, and 8 hours since he had walked out of Milltown and that had been the last time that she had actually seen him face to face.

Christmas Eve was two days away and all the arrangements for the kids had gone through Emma or Lily and Holden. The gaping emotional distance between her and Jack was something that she hadn't had in over a year and a half and it was threatening to tear her apart, not to mention what it was doing to the children. The worse part about it was that she didn't even begin to know how to fix it.

The simple solution would probably be to tell him the truth about her feelings, that she actually loved him more than she could ever put into words. But then they would be right back where they started on the issue of them getting back together and Carly was determined to stay strong. Miserable, but strong.

Not to mention, Carly had a feeling that deep down this was more than a pride issue. She had hurt him badly that night and it went beyond the obvious reasons that she could see.

"I think you can go now." Jack's voice was cold and it took Carly a moment to realize that he was talking to her.

Her heart felt like it was going to shatter into a million pieces as she met his hard and unforgiving gaze. She thought for a second she saw something glimmer there but then it disappeared as fast as it had come.

Carly nodded and moved towards the door, picking up her purse from the chair beside it. Jack brushed past her to move to Katie's other side, as if the proximity to Carly was intolerable. She closed her eyes briefly and forced the tears back, as she turned to look at Katie one more time.

"Congratulations. Take care of yourself, okay?" She said and before Katie could respond, Carly slipped out the door.

As the door closed Jack started pacing as he rambled on about Margo running the crime scene and him being ordered to report in the second he found out how Katie was doing. Anything to keep his mind off the fact that Carly had been within touching distance only moments before.

Suddenly he stopped, beginning to get frustrated with the glares and silence he had been receiving from both Brad and Katie since he entered the room.

"What?" Jack asked, exasperated, and Katie shook her head at him.

"I can't believe that you just threw Carly out of _my_ hospital room!" She exclaimed and Jack looked at her like she had two heads.

"Why? Did you want that pleasure all to yourself?" Jack joked but Katie just glared at him harder.

"That's not funny, Jack!"

Jack stopped and shook his head in disbelief. "What is going on here? I feel like I just stepped into the Twilight Zone."

"For your information, Carly just happened to save my life today! And the life of my baby!" Katie said heatedly.

"Your what?" Jack stepped back, his eyes roaming over her as if she would suddenly look nine months pregnant.

"Yes, Brad and I are going to have baby! It's wonderful, amazing, and wouldn't be happening at all if Carly hadn't been there to stop the guy from stabbing me again!" Katie ranted leaning forward in the bed.

Brad half-heartedly pushed her back towards the pillows, but the gleam in his eye suggested how much fun he was having watching his older brother get reamed out.

"Carly…" Jack stuttered again, trying to wrap his brain around what Katie was telling him.

"She scared him off before calling 911 and staying with me. I mean, for all we knew, the guy could have come back to take care of us both but Carly refused to leave until she knew I was okay!" Katie told him angrily, her eyes flashing even though her brain was well aware of the irony of her defending Carly to Jack. "And we don't even like each other!"

Jack swallowed hard at the thought of Carly lying in a hospital bed, or worse, because she had been attacked like Katie. He had felt light headed enough when he had walked in the room and seen her standing by Katie's bed, but now he felt absolutely weak at the knees.

Every instinct Jack had upon seeing Carly's face again had told him to pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless. But then the fallout from the night of the engagement party had rushed into his mind and he remembered that she didn't want anything to do with him that way.

The pain from her rejecting the idea of their family together again hurt more than he could begin to describe. After everything they had been through, especially in the last year or so, he knew that Carly had changed. Hell, he had changed more than he ever thought he could. All Jack wanted was the opportunity to show her that he understood now; that even with her crazy schemes and lurking disasters around every corner, he wanted her back just the way she was. But Carly had shut him down before he could even breathe a word of that to her.

Since that morning three weeks ago, Jack had gone to extreme lengths to avoid seeing her, especially around town where she might show up with Lee or the kids. Emma had stayed out of it until the other day when he had asked her talk to Carly again about Christmas arrangements. That had been the only time she had stuck her nose in and it was to tell him that they were _both_ acting ridiculous. Jack knew it and he knew it was hurting the children, but in the end he couldn't help it. Every time he even looked at Carly, he found himself thinking about what could have been this time around.

Jack was jerked out of his mental thoughts when a pink plastic hospital cup bounced off the side of his head.

"Are you even listening to me?" Katie demanded and he blinked at her in confusion.

"Did you just throw _a cup_ at my head?" He asked in astonishment, looking to Brad for confirmation.

Brad just shrugged and inclined his head towards Katie. "Hormones."

Jack made a face at him and Katie took the moment to repeat herself.

"I said, I think you owe Carly an apology. And from what I hear from Emma, not to mention what I just saw my own eyes, it's probably about time you guys spoke anyway."

"What are you talking about?" Jack asked, rubbing the now sore spot on his head.

"I think she's right, dude. I've seen those looks between you two before." Brad said and Jack's eyes turned to him, remembering back years ago when Brad had indeed seen the best and worst of him and Carly. Long forgotten guilt flickered in the back of Jack's mind and he knew Brad saw it in his eyes.

Nevertheless Brad just shook his head, knowing that it was all very stale water under the bridge. He kissed the side of Katie's hair, subtly conveying that he was exactly where he wanted to be. "Go after her, Bro. Before it's too late…again."

Jack hesitated only a moment before heading to the door and yanking it open. Walking towards the elevator his eyes immediately landed on Carly, who had apparently dropped into the nearest chair and was now crying. His heart felt like it was being squeezed in his chest as he watched her sob into her hands. If it was one thing that tore at him more than the thought of Carly hurt, it was the sight of Carly crying with him as the likely cause. Taking a deep breath, he stepped towards her.

"Carly?"

Carly looked up through a veil of tears to see Lee standing just to the left of her, calling her name. Hearing the contrast between the concern in his accented voice versus the cold, impersonal tone that Jack had spoken to her in, made the reality of this morning's danger came crashing down on her. Carly began to shake uncontrollably as she realized that once again she had made an impetuous move that had nearly caused her to be killed.

Only this time, her G-man hadn't come to her rescue; he didn't even seem to care.

As Lee sat down next to her, he folded her into a warm hug.

"Oh God, Lee, I'm so glad you're here." Carly cried, holding onto him tightly.

"Shhh, it's okay. Just take your time and then you can tell me what happened." Lee said and held her as she let it out of her system. As he heard the name 'Jack' whispered into his neck, he frowned and kissed the top of her head. "It'll be okay, sweetheart. I love you and I'll be here for as long as you need me."

In a darkened alcove in the nearby nurse's station, Jack watched Lee comfort Carly. He had seen the tall Australian doctor coming and slid away moments before either Lee or Carly could spot him. While Jack knew that Carly had told him that she loved Lee, Jack needed to know how Lee felt about her. Now as the doctor's words drifted to his ears, Jack knew that he had his answer.

As Lee rocked the woman he thought of as a sister in his arms, neither one noticed as a disheartened Jack slipped out of the shadows and silently walked away.

**Author's Note: Don't worry...the holidays are here. Some happy CarJack is coming up...maybe... ;-)**


	17. A Definite Sense of Belonging

**Author's Note: Happy beginning of the holidays!! Please enjoy and definitely review...it can be my holiday present! LOL ;-)**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Being with you is like walking on a very clear morning -- definitely the sensation of belonging there."  
__-Unknown  
_************************************************************************

"Okay, a little to the left."

"No, back more, closer to the fireplace."

"Hm, that's probably not a smart idea. Why don't we put it closer to the window?"

"But then we can't get around the back for the ornaments."

"Oh, that's true. Well, what about moving it about half a foot to the right?"

Suddenly there was yelp and then a mild crash as a body hit the large picture window by the front door.

"Enough! You know what? I think the tree looks awesome right _here_." Paul's muffled voice came from behind the giant towering evergreen. Jack and Holden quickly agreed, while Parker and J.J. just let out huge sighs of relief. All of the males finally let go of the 8 foot tree and stepped back.

Lily, Meg, and Emma finally paused in their three-way argument, looking at them with similar dismayed expressions. They exchanged glances and then all three frowned, before talking at once.

"Yeah, but…" Lily started.

"Maybe just…" Emma chimed in.

"It's only a little bit…" Meg piped up.

The women were interrupted as all five men groaned in unison. Then, with exaggerated motions, Holden and Paul dropped to the floor; J.J. and Parker flopped down on the sofa; and Jack turned to lightly bang his head on the front door. Emma, Lily, and Meg just stared at them before bursting out laughing.

The sound of a car honking and doors slamming startled everyone.

"The girls are back." Meg said, turning to look towards the kitchen.

"I still say that dance studio was crazy to have a holiday party on Christmas Eve." Emma muttered, crossing her arms. Lily smiled and propped an arm around Emma's shoulders.

"Oh Mom, technically it's only Christmas Eve afternoon. Plus, it got them out of the way so the guys could…"

"You cut down the tree!" Faith's voice interrupted from the doorway and she, Natalie, and Sage rushed into the room. They all dropped their coats on the floor as they ran over to examine the tall pine, branch by branch.

"Faith, Natalie, and Sage Snyder!" Emma's voice made the three cousins freeze and turn simultaneously to look at her with wide eyes. But all Emma did was point to the pile of coats on the floor and clear her throat once.

As the girls scrambled to pick up their discarded coats they apologized profusely to Emma. Hiding amused smiles Meg, Jack, and Holden looked at one another. They had snapped into duty with that tone more than once in their lives.

Emma smiled as the girls filed back into the room from the coat closet and clapped her hands together.

"All right, let's see now. The boxes of decorations are over there," Emma said pointing to four enormous cardboard boxes in the corner of the room. "The tree is here and in position…for now. The gingerbread dough is almost done rising as we speak and the apple cider is being warmed. I think I hear Ethan waking up from his nap so I guess that means the official Snyder Christmas Eve Decorating Party can begin!"

"Yes!" The younger girls cried and everyone laughed at their exuberance. Even Parker and J.J. had apparently shaken off their exhaustion from the tree expedition and were now grinning.

"What should we start with first?" Holden teased, his eyes twinkling very much like his mother's.

All five kids looked at him like he had lost his mind and, as if rehearsed, said together, "Decorating!"

Emma doled out jobs in the sufficient manner of hers and within ten minutes, Christmas music was playing loudly in the room with everyone talking and laughing amongst themselves.

"You okay?" Holden asked Jack quietly as they sat on the sofa having been given the job of trying to untangle the tree lights. About five minutes in, both men were already wishing that they had been assigned the job of hanging the many colorful stockings on the fireplace instead of Paul, J.J., and Parker.

Jack stopped short of a loud curse after realizing that he had three different strings of lights tangled into one giant knot and looked up at his cousin.

"You mean other than wanting to hunt down the guy who invented Christmas tree lights and strangle him with his own invention? Then yeah, I'm fine." Jack joked and Holden gave him a small smile, as he shook his head.

"No, really, Jack. There's been something bugging you all day." Holden said, biting back his own curse as he realized that he and Jack had been tugging on the same strand of lights.

He looked up to see the hesitation on Jack's face and knew that if he was uncomfortable talking about it with Holden, it could only mean one thing.

"Carly, huh?"

Stiffening for a moment then sighing loudly, Jack let go of the lights to look Holden in the eye.

"Yeah. I mean, I guess I'm just surprised at her that's all." Jack said and Holden frowned.

"About what?"

"Well, apparently when Emma mentioned the kids being here for decorating tonight, Carly was the one who suggested they stay over. She told her that she would spend the holiday with Lee and Mattie, and then see the kids later Christmas Day."

"Really? She let them go that easily? That doesn't sound like Carly." Holden said, tilted his head in confusion.

"I didn't think so either, but I don't know anymore. I feel like I don't know _her_ anymore." Jack said, shaking his head. "Even with everything that's happened between us, I never thought that she would choose spending the holiday with Lee over the kids."

"What are you talking about?"

Jack and Holden looked up sharply to see Parker standing there with a hammer and more nails.

"Mom's not with Lee." Parker said, frowning at them, and Jack smiled sadly.

"Parker, it's okay. I…" Jack started to say, but Parker cut him off.

"No, Dad, you don't understand. Lee and Mattie went to back to Australia for Christmas. They left Monday night. Mom's known they were going for weeks. She told us that she was going to volunteer at WOAK for the Christmas Eve dinner. She even said that you knew about it." Parker told him quietly.

Jack shook his head, the wheels in his mind turning to try and process the new information. "But the WOAK dinner was postponed until tomorrow night because of a delivery truck oversight. Brad and Katie told me when I was visiting at the hospital this morning."

"What's going on?"

Having seen the seriousness on their faces Lily had wandered over from her job of setting up the Christmas village in the front window with Meg and Faith. Holden quickly explained what was going on and Lily let out a sigh.

"So if she's not doing either of those things that means…"

"She's home alone." Parker finished for her, his voice conveying his obvious distress at the thought.

"Why wouldn't she tell anyone? Or at least tell me?" Jack said, starting to get upset himself.

"Well gee, Dad, I don't know. Maybe because you guys haven't even talked on the phone in weeks!" Parker bit out, not being able to curb his frustration at the situation between his parents. There was a short silence before Parker spoke up again, this time his voice resigned and much quieter.

"Or maybe...this was just one more thing she didn't want to fight about anymore." Parker said and Jack's eyes flew to his son's face. The overwhelming sadness and worry that he found there made Jack's heart hurt. Parker just stared at him for a long moment before heading back over to the fireplace where Paul and J.J. were waiting for him.

Jack stood and looked over at Emma, who had been keeping the other kids busy but had heard every word of the conversation. She met his gaze and gave a small nod of her head, before rushing forward to prevent Ethan from dropping one of the ornaments.

Lily caught the exchange and moved to take Jack's place on the couch, grabbing the strings of lights from his hands. She knowingly looked up at him and smiled softly. "Drive safe. Oh, and tell Carly to bring that sweater back that she borrowed from me last week!"

Nodding with a small smirk, Jack moved swiftly to get his jacket, his car keys already in his hand. It was only when he stood on the doorstep at Milltown that Jack realized that he had no idea what he was going to say to her.

Except for that brief and horrible moment in Katie's hospital room two days ago, Jack hadn't spoken to Carly in almost a month. How was he going to explain that he wanted her to come to the farm with him when, like Parker said, he hadn't even been willing to talk to her over the phone? He rationalized that he would just tell her that it was for the kids and that would make her go, if nothing else.

Deep down he knew, though, that he didn't want her there only for them.

Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door. Despite the fact that he had prepared himself to see her, when she opened the door he still felt the breath leave his body.

Carly's blonde hair was blown straight and sleek, the strands looking like they would slide through his fingers like silk if he just reached out to touch them. She wore a fitted deep red cashmere turtleneck and the pair of dark blue jeans that he knew she loved best because of the way they showed off her butt.

As luck would have it, Jack wore a deep evergreen colored sweater with his own dark faded blue jeans along with his dark brown winter coat that made his eyes look like melted chocolate in the right light.

Together they would have made one hell of a Christmas card.

Jack's mind was brought back to the fact that Carly was now talking when he was drawn back to her lips and the ruby red gloss that she was wearing. He dragged his eyes to meet hers and shook his head slightly.

"What?" He asked, blinking hard.

Carly frowned, realizing that he hadn't heard her mild rant about finding him on her doorstep and decided to try a more direct approach.

"Why are you here, Jack?"

"Why are you sitting home alone on Christmas Eve, watching 'It's A Wonderful Life' on repeat?" Jack countered, hearing the over televised Christmas movie in the background.

"I'm not. I've watched 'Miracle on 34th Street' and 'A Christmas Story' too." Carly said, trying to joke but quickly stopped when she noticed Jack wasn't having any of it. "Go home, Jack, I'm fine."

A quick gust of wind swirled a gentle dusting of snow at their feet and caused them both to realize that they were still standing in the doorway. Carly sighed and moved to let him slide into the house.

"Well, I'm glad you're fine, Carly, because the kids aren't." Jack said, turning to face her as she shut the door. Her eyes cut to his and he frowned. "They miss you."

Carly smiled gently, the longing in her eyes evident. "It's Christmas Eve, I miss them too."

"Why didn't you tell them that the WOAK dinner got cancelled?" Jack asked and Carly shook her head, shooting him a look.

"Jack, have you _met _our kids? You know they wouldn't have gone to the farm tonight if they had known."

"So? You could have had them here tonight and brought them to the farm tomorrow morning." Jack said.

"No, they belong at the farm tonight. It's family tradition and they look forward to it every year. Besides, _you_ would have completely freaked out." Carly said and as much as Jack wanted to deny it, he knew what she said was true.

"Well, I could have dropped them off afterwards." Jack kept trying to argue his point, choosing once again to ignore the fact that he had done little more than a "tuck and roll" drop off with the kids for weeks.

"They deserve to enjoy tonight without worrying having to get home to make me feel better." Carly said slowly, still trying to figure out what he was up to.

"They _deserve_ to enjoy tonight with all of their family, especially you." Jack corrected her and her eyes widened as she finally realized why he was there.

"Oh, no, Jack! Absolutely not! I am _not_ going to the farm!" Carly said, shaking her head and moving away from him to walk towards the couch.

"Come on, Carly. You can't stay here by yourself on Christmas Eve. It's ridiculous." Jack said, shaking his own head.

"No, what's ridiculous is the fact that you came here, after not speaking to me for three weeks, to invite me to a house filled with people who would rather not see my face!" Carly said, the tension of those weeks rising in her.

"Carly, that's not true! Everyone over at the farm knows that I came to get you and they want you there." Jack said purposely avoiding the first part of her statement. "Okay, well, the truth is the kids don't know I'm here, but everyone else does."

"Why didn't you tell the kids?" Carly asked, crossing her arms.

"I wasn't sure you'd come and I didn't want to get their hopes up. But…I think Parker knows where I went." Jack said honestly and Carly closed her eyes, the ache to be with their children written all over her face.

Jack sighed softly and took the opportunity to move closer to her. When her eyes opened again, he was an arm's length away.

"Look, the past few weeks I've acted like a jerk and…I'm sorry. I guess I've just been having a hard time dealing with…" Jack trailed off and then tried again.

"My breaking up with Janet was completely my decision and I shouldn't have expected you to change your life around because I realized something too late. I mean, after all, you did try to tell me that you didn't want to be together a while ago. I guess I just didn't want to accept it."

Carly bit her lip, trying desperately not to cry at his soft spoken words.

"If Lee makes you happy…then I'll find a way to accept that too. He seems like a good guy. Hell, the kids all like him and at least he doesn't have a record." Jack said, causing a short laugh to slip out of Carly's mouth since she had no doubt that he really had looked him up in the system.

Jack gave her a small smile and then shrugged.

"I _have_ to accept it because I can't do this anymore, Carly. This distance between us isn't only hurting our kids, it's hurting me." Jack said and Carly frowned.

"I miss you. I learned a long time ago that having you in my life in any capacity is a million times better than not having you there at all." Jack told her and then shrugged again, not being able to say it any clearer than that.

It must been clear enough because he suddenly had Carly in his arms and he was hugging her tightly as she wrapped her arms around his neck

"Thank you. Thank you for understanding." Carly whispered, her voice catching. As desperately as she wanted to tell him the truth about her relationship with Lee, Carly managed to hold it in for both their sakes. Instead she hugged him for all she was worth before pulling away.

Jack reached up and with his thumbs wiped the tears from her cheeks. They both froze at the contact, their senses tingling with feel of his fingertips on her face. Her blue eyes searched his face and he sighed, dropping his hands and stepping back.

"So what do you say we go surprise our kids?" Jack asked, forcing his voice to be normal.

Carly hesitated, as if she was going to say something important, but then just nodded. "Sure. Um, let me grab a few things and then we can go."

After a silent thirty minute car ride, they were opening the kitchen door to the farm. Emma turned to look at them from where she had been putting the now baked gingerbread men on a huge platter for decorating later. Jack took Carly's coat and the shopping bag of gifts she had brought and put them in the mud room, leaving Carly and Emma alone. Carly stilled and gave a small smile in Emma's direction.

"Merry Christmas Eve," Carly lamely said, rubbing her hands briskly to warm them.

Emma put the plate down on the kitchen counter and just stared at her for a long moment.

"Well," Emma said, raising an eyebrow at Carly, making the younger woman begin to wonder if Jack had lied about her being invited. Just as she was about to say something, Emma grinned. "It's about time you showed up. I was beginning to think you got sideswiped by Santa's sleigh in all this snow."

Carly blinked a moment then grinned back. "No, but it's definitely starting to come down pretty hard. The kids are going to have one heck of a sledding day tomorrow."

"And the adults are going to have a blast digging out the cars." Jack said coming back in and rolling his eyes.

"Ha, maybe you will. _I'm_ going sledding!" Carly said and Jack made a face at her then smiled. Emma watched them closely, wondering if they even knew how quickly they had slipped into their teasing banter.

"Grandma, are the cookies done yet?" Natalie said, wandering into the kitchen. She stopped shortly seeing Carly and her eyes widened. Half turning she yelled, "Hey Sage! Come 'ere!"

Sage scampered in and came to an abrupt stop, similar to her cousin a moment before. Her own eyes grew and a grin broke out on her face.

"Mommy!" Sage cried and ran into her mother's open arms. "I can't believe you're here!"

Carly laughed and hugged Sage hard before allowing herself to be pulled into the living room by both hands.

"J.J., Parker! Look!" Sage said and the two brothers looked up from their jobs to see their mom standing in the doorway.

"Awesome! Mom's here!" J.J. said and jumped up to hug her with Parker not far behind him.

As Jack watched their three children surround Carly and chatter on about what they had been doing so far, a peace settled over him. He might not be able to have his true dream, but tonight he felt getting extremely close.

Parker looked over to where Jack stood and he smiled.

'Thank you,' he mouthed to his dad and Jack just winked at him.

"Alright, now that Carly's here we can string the popcorn. Think you can handle that, Ms. Fashion Designer?" Emma said to Carly.

Carly rolled her eyes but there was a smile on her face as she accepted the bowl of freshly popped popcorn and settled on the couch. Natalie and Sage immediately settled themselves on the floor at her feet, apparently deciding that this was their new job assignment.

Faith watched Carly warily which Carly accepted, knowing that the young girl's memory of what had happened between her and Holden was far from gone. However, Lily noticed as well and effortlessly sat down on the couch with Carly. As Faith watched their friendly interaction, she slowly relaxed until she too was seated with Sage and Natalie on the floor, joining in the happy conversation.

Jack paused a moment from where he and Holden were stringing the now untangled lights in the boughs of the tree. His eyes traveled around the room as he took in his family.

Parker, J.J., and Paul were teasing Meg with a large Christmas wreath, lightheartedly trying to get her to step into it and see if she could get it past her growing stomach. Emma was occasionally lifting Ethan in the air to help hang random decorations around the room, before sneaking him bites of a pre-dinner gingerbread man. Having already finished one long string for the tree Carly and Lily were now gently throwing pieces of popcorn to the girls, who were trying to catch it in their mouths. One bounced off Faith's nose and they all started laughing.

Jack watched Carly's eyes dance as she leaned over to whisper something to the girls on the floor and they all grinned back at her. Suddenly pieces of popcorn were being pelted in Lily's direction, making her yelp in surprise and laugh harder before gently shoving Carly back into the cushions of the couch. Carly received her mock lecture after which they all dissolved into giggles again and started a new strand of popcorn on a string.

Jack felt a jab in the ribs and looked over at his cousin.

"You know, if you don't stop staring at her, she's going to think you like her or something." Holden teased, inclining his head towards the female group on the couch. Jack shot him a look, mostly because he was embarrassed to have been caught staring. Yet, his eyes were again drawn to that area.

"She belongs here, Holden." Jack said and shook his head. "I don't know why she can't see it."

"Have you told _her_ that?" Holden asked him pointedly.

"I've tried. But what does it matter anyway? She's with Lee." Jack said, frowning.

"She's not with Lee now." Holden said, firmly.

"That's only because he's in Australia with Mattie." Jack told him, scoffing at his cousin's words but Holden just tilted his head in Carly's direction.

"You know what, Jack? Even if Lee was in Oakdale tonight, somehow I still think Carly would be here. Call it a gut feeling." Holden said and Jack gave a small sigh, his eyes stealing back over to the woman in question.

Suddenly Sage wanted Carly's attention, holding up her right index finger. The pout on her face and tears in her eyes indicated that she had pricked it with the needle. Carly made a sympathetic noise and gave her a small pout in return, so similar to their daughter's that Jack wondered if it was a genetic trait. Carly then leaned forward and kissed the tip of Sage's finger gently. Apparently, even at ten years old, a mother's kiss was enough to take the hurt away because Sage smiled and went back to the conversation she had been having with Faith and Natalie like nothing had happened.

As if she felt his gaze Carly looked over at Jack, her eyes connecting immediately with his. Without hesitation she grinned at him, giving him a smile so genuine that Jack could do nothing but instantly smile back. As he did, a warmth spread through him at the sight of the pure happiness in her eyes.

A rap on the back of the head with a large stray candy cane made Jack turn and glare at Holden.

"What is it with my family hitting me on the head this week?" Jack asked, ignoring the confused look that he received from Holden. "What's wrong with saying, 'Hey Jack'?"

"I've been saying 'Hey Jack' for the past five minutes. You've just been too busy making goo-goo eyes at Carly to hear me." Holden said and Jack rolled his eyes.

"I have not! Now can we get back to this tree before Emma strings _us_ up as decorations?" Jack said and moved around to the other side of the pine. Holden heard Jack start humming "Jingle Bells" under his breath and chuckled softly.

"Goo-goo eyes." Holden muttered firmly before he too started to hum.

Soon the whole room was singing together in a loud, happy, and not completely on key, group.


	18. Life With The Friends We Choose

True North: part 18

By Jaclyn Parker

"_Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose."_

_- Tennessee Williams_

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Before they all knew it they had finished decorating, eaten dinner, and were gathered in the living room once more. They watched as Emma stood in front of the fully decorated tree and smiled at them.

"I would just like to take this moment to say, how happy I am that you are all here tonight. Even the ones who can't be here on this Earth with us physically are around this tree in spirit. And of course, there are several other lazy bums who couldn't make it tonight to help with the hard stuff but will show up tomorrow for gifts." Emma paused as everyone laughed, knowing that she meant Luke and Brad.

Luke was with Noah and friends at a holiday party tonight, the young duo wanting their first real Christmas Eve as a couple to be a little more exciting. Luke had promised to keep the partying down to one beer and Noah had eagerly accepted the invitation to the farm on Christmas Day when Holden and Lily had extended it. After coming to terms personally about Luke coming out, they had reacted like any parent; they wanted only the best for their son to date. Thankfully, Luke seemed to have excellent taste and they all liked Noah very much. Yet, more importantly they liked who Luke was when he was with him.

Meanwhile, Brad had only gotten permission to take Katie out of the hospital for Christmas Day and even then it had been with some major help from Lee and their special friends, doctors John Dixon and Bob Hughes. Brad and Katie would come to the farm first thing in the morning to watch the kids open gifts and hang out before heading over to Tom and Margo's house. There they would join them for a late Christmas Day lunch or early Christmas dinner, depending on how you looked at it. After that, it was right back to the hospital for a few more days before her actual release. Unfortunately, they would have to have an undercover cop around at all times once that happened.

Even though the forensic evidence at the scene of Katie's stabbing indeed proved that Spencer was still alive, she still hadn't been caught. And since it was pretty obvious that someone was setting Brad up, along with the fact that there was now a baby on the way to consider, Brad was being particularly cautious. He was _also_ driving Katie particularly nuts in the process. But everyone knew that both adults were over the moon at the news of the impending arrival despite the circumstances surrounding receiving it.

"As you know, Snyder tradition states that the youngest child has the honor of putting the angel on the tree." Emma started again and Holden proceeded to lift a grinning Ethan into his arms before carefully climbing up the small step ladder at the base of the tree. The little boy placed the golden angel on the tree as if it was the most important job in the world. Then he broke out into an even bigger smile when they all started to clap when he was done.

"You'll have to give that job up next Christmas, kiddo, when your new little cousin is here." Paul said jokingly as Holden turned his youngest son around in his arms.

"Not uh! The baby will be too littles Uncle Paul. But…I can help her!" Ethan replied, excited at the prospect of helping someone littler than he was.

"Deal, buddy."

Paul held out his hand and Holden leaned forward so Ethan could give him a small shake. The adults all exchanged amused looks and Lily reached out her arms so that Ethan could happily topple into them. He hugged his mother tight around the neck and she kissed her toddler's pudgy cheek.

"And of course the tree lighting duties go to the oldest. So if you would, Parker?" Emma said and nodded to Jack, who turned off the lights.

"Three, two, one…" they all counted down and then suddenly the room was lit with glow of the twinkling Christmas tree. Oohs and ahhs of delight circulated around the room as they all took in the beautiful sight for the next few minutes.

"Okay, I guess that's it, right?" Meg joked around, leaning on Paul who kissed her cheek.

"No way!" The kids cried and Meg laughed, knowing full well that the night wasn't over yet.

"Gingerbread cookies and Christmas Eve presents, Aunt Meg. Duh!" Natalie said and then with a look from Lily quickly apologized.

"Oh yes, what was I thinking?" Meg said and they all laughed, moving to gather the supplies.

Parker wandered over to where Jack, Carly, Sage, and J.J. stood in a small group. Carly reached out and hugged him tight.

"Very good job, honey." She said and Parker gave her a weird look.

"Mom, I plugged the tree lights in, not cured cancer." Parker said and Carly wrinkled her nose at him.

"Well you still did a great job." She said and he rolled his eyes at her, but a small smile stayed on his lips.

"Hey, what about me? I turned the room lights off. Without that you wouldn't have even been able to tell the tree was even on." Jack fake pouted and they laughed at him.

"You did a good job too, Daddy." Sage said, patting his arm.

"Yeah, Dad, a real Einstein." J.J. added on, his voice sarcastic, but playful.

"Wow, I feel the love." Jack said and this time it was Carly who patted his arm in faux sympathy, causing him to grin at her.

"Hey, Parker and J.J., you guys want to help me build the fire?" Holden called over and before anyone could say anything, J.J. was running over to help. Parker rolled his eyes and followed his fire enthusiastic brother.

A catchy tune sounded from the coffee table and Sage pounced on the opportunity to answer her mom's cell phone. Seeing the name on the screen she grinned, speaking even as she hit the answer button.

"Hi Lee!" She cried into the phone.

"Hey, Luv." Lee said, pulling the phone away from his ear at her excited greeting but grinning all the same. "I am just calling to wish you a Merry Christmas."

"It's not Christmas yet though." Sage said and then remembered what her mom had told her. "Oh yeah, it's already tomorrow over there, right?"

"Yep, it's three in the afternoon here with us and the kangaroos."

"Oh, then Merry Christmas!" Sage giggled.

"Hey Sage, Ethan's trying to eat your Hannah Montana gingerbread man!" Faith called from the kitchen.

"Gotta go! Bye Lee!" Sage said into the phone, football tossing it in Carly's general direction before doing her best imitation of Speed Racer to get to the kitchen.

Carly laughed and put the phone to her ear. "Hey, you."

"I just got the shaft for a cookie, didn't I?" Lee asked, incredulously.

"Welcome to my world." Carly said, laughing again. "So how is Christmas in the land down under?"

"Not bad. It's about 82 degrees and we just got back from seeing a Christmas Carol in Brisbane. I think we're going to lounge by the pool for a while before going to a friend's house for a Christmas Day barbie." Lee said and he could practically see Carly rolling her eyes on the other side of the phone.

"Lee, there are so many things wrong with that statement I don't even know where to begin." Carly said making Lee laugh.

"Yeah, well, how are things down at the Snyder farm?" Lee asked and Carly frowned.

"How did you know…?" Carly started then realized he must have figured it out as he was talking to Sage. "It's going okay, actually."

"How are things with Jack?" Lee causally threw in and Carly's eyes shot over to the man of discussion.

Jack had subtly left the vicinity when he had heard the name of the person Sage had greeted on the phone. He tried to pay attention to what Paul and Meg were talking to him about, but he couldn't help but flick his eyes over to Carly every so often. Seeing that she was now looking in his direction he frowned. She quickly turned away and went back to her phone conversation.

"They're fine." Carly said and she heard Lee scoff.

"Better than fine, I can hear it in your voice, Luv. Not to mention how happy Sage sounded."

"Yes, the kids are very happy to have us both here." Carly admitted.

"Carly, why can't you admit that you're happy too?" Lee asked, blowing out a sigh of frustration. "How many times did you tell me that this was how you wanted to spend Christmas? With Jack and the kids? You have it right in front of you. Don't throw it away."

"Lee, I do not want to have this conversation right now, okay? Please." Carly said, trying to curb her own frustration. Lee sighed again and there was silence for a moment.

"Fine, darlin'. I'll let it go…for now. But you and I will have this conversation again." Lee said.

"Not if I can help it." Carly muttered and Lee chose to ignore it.

"Well, Luv, I'm pretty sure that if I don't hand the phone over to my niece she might actually physically combust." Lee said, looking at the very annoyed Mattie standing next to him, tapping her foot impatiently.

Carly laughed and her eyes searched out the room for Parker. He saw her looking for him and without even being called, he hurried to where she stood with his hand already out for the phone. She smirked as she handed it to him and stepped away into the kitchen to help everyone finish getting their snacks together.

"Hello?" Parker said the moment the phone was to his ear.

"Merry Christmas, Yank!" Mattie said happily into the phone and Parker grinned, not only at hearing her voice but at how strong her accent was coming through now that she was back in Australia.

"A little early, aren't we Oz?" Parker joked.

"Nah, you're just always late." Mattie said laughing.

"I'm always late? Who was the one who told us she'd be ready in ten minutes for the new Vince Vaughn movie then made us so late we had to catch the next one?"

"Blah, blah, blah." Mattie said, grinning from ear to ear. "At least _I_ got my Christmas presents already."

"Anything good?" Parker asked.

"Yeah, Uncle Lee got me a huge gift card so I can get some new school clothes and the Resident Evil trilogy DVD set which, _no_, you cannot borrow to burn copies. I got a new watch, a couple of Wii games, and um, a few other little things here and there. Oh! He bought me a new iPod! I already downloaded some music so that my mum could hear…" Mattie said, her excitement trailing off.

"How was it? Seeing your mom?" Parker asked quietly.

"It was okay. Not as bad as it was before." Mattie said, tears forming in her eyes, but wiping them away before Lee could see. "I don't know what I would do if Uncle Lee wasn't here."

"I'm sorry, Mattie." Parker said, wishing he could take some of the pain from her situation away but all the while knowing that there was nothing he could do to help her.

"Thanks, Yank, I know you are. It's nice to have someone to talk to, ya know?" Mattie said, hearing the sincerity in his voice.

"I know the feeling." Parker said and he heard her sigh to shake it all off. Deciding to help her along, he put a lift in his voice. "Well, at least we know if the DJ sucks at my party to just plug in your new iPod."

"Are you kidding? There's no way your mum would let the DJ suck! She's been planning this thing for months remember?" Mattie said, grateful to Parker for changing the subject. "I mean, how cool is it that we get to have the VIP section of Metro for New Years Eve? It's all everyone's talking about online, even the people who aren't invited!"

"Well, it's kinda easy when your mom owns half of the club!" Parker said, but they both knew that he was genuinely excited about his 16th birthday party. "Now if only I could get my dad to let us stay past midnight."

"Good luck with that one! I think he'll be picking kids up by the collar at the twelfth chime and booting them out the door. We already know he's gonna have guard dogs and men with rifles standing at the bars." Mattie laughed. "Hey, speaking of your mum and dad, how are things on your end?"

"You wanna know something weird? They're getting along awesome. Everyone is. It's kinda creepy, actually." Parker said causing Mattie to laugh again.

"You love it, Yank." Mattie said, hearing the happiness in his voice that he couldn't hide from her.

"Yeah, maybe." Parker said, giving a small laugh of his own when she let out an over exaggerated sigh at his nonchalant words. Then, seeing the rest of his family file back into the living room, he frowned. "Hey, I gotta go. We get to open one present now before everything goes crazy tomorrow."

"Oh, well have fun. Make sure you are fast asleep in time for Santa." Mattie joked. "I'll call you when we take off on Friday, okay?"

"Def. Catch ya later, Oz."

"See ya, Yank."

Both teens handed the phones back to their respective adults, who were now waiting again.

"Well, at least that was shorter than most of their phone conversations." Lee said and Carly laughed.

"Yeah, only because you made Mattie leave her cell phone back here in Oakdale. I shudder to think what those phone bills would have looked like if you let her take it."

Then, thinking of the young girl who had quickly become her son's best friend, her voice got quiet. "How was everything down there, really?"

Lee took a moment and then responded. "It's tough. Especially for Mattie. She's trying very hard not to let it get to her, but…"

"…how could it not?" Carly finished for him. "Well, from what you said earlier, you're at least keeping her busy."

"I'm trying, Carly. I just can't help but wonder…what if it's not enough? What if I am not doing enough to help her get through this?"

"Lee, you love that girl like she is your own. I've seen you two together and trust me, you're doing everything you can and she knows it."

"I hope so. I can't let Lisa down. Not again." Lee said, his voice was soft and she knew he was struggling to hold back tears.

"Lee, what happened to your sister was not your fault. You know that!" Carly said and realized that she had spoken too loudly when some of the others shot her a curious look.

"You know what? It's fine. I don't really wanna talk about this, okay?" Lee said, somewhat stiffly.

"Fine, we'll talk about it when you come back." Carly said and Lee smirked on his end.

"Not if I can help it." He echoed her words from before and she couldn't help but smile.

"Smartass." She muttered and he laughed.

"Merry Christmas, darlin'. Love you," Lee said.

"I love you too. Merry Christmas." Carly repeated and with a goodbye she hung up the phone. Staring at it for a moment, she sent a silent prayer to the two people in the Australia whom she considered family.

"Mommy?" Sage said, coming to join her. "Are you ready?"

Carly ran a hand over Sage's hair and bent down to hug her tight. Straightening again she grinned.

"When am I ever not ready for presents?" She said and let her happy daughter lead her to join the others.

She sat down next to Parker and put a hand on his shoulder briefly. He looked at her, smiling softly, as she whispered something into his ear. He pulled back and nodded, before leaning over and giving her a quick hug.

And ever observant, Jack's eyes never missed a beat.


	19. Deep In My Heart

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Deep in my heart I'm concealing things that I'm longing to say. Scared to confess what I'm feeling - frightened you'll slip away."  
__-Evita  
_***********************************************************************

Jack couldn't sleep.

He knew something was going on with Parker and Carly tonight after their respective phone conversations but he didn't know what it was. All he did know was that the act of not knowing was driving him crazy.

Was Lee in trouble? Was Mattie? Were they both in trouble and now they were dragging his family in with them?

Jack muttered to himself as he headed into the kitchen, hoping there was at least one gingerbread man left from the descent upon them earlier. As he headed for the cookie jar he noticed the twinkling lights from the living room. Frowning he changed direction, knowing that he had unplugged the tree after he, Holden, and Paul had placed the gifts from "Santa" underneath of it, long after the kids had all been herded upstairs. Jack paused in the doorway, his heart thudding in his chest as he recognized Carly's still form. She was curled up on the couch with her head resting on the arm, wrapped in an oversized red fleece blanket.

As the night had come to a close, Carly had been fully prepared to go back to Milltown, but the kids and adults alike all protested. The debate quickly ended when Emma mentioned that she had overheard they would be getting at least another foot of snow during the night, probably more. Luckily with a family as large as the Snyders there was always an extra guestroom.

As Jack watched her from his spot in the doorway his mind battled over whether or not to wake her up, but his hesitation ended up not being necessary.

"I'm not asleep, Jack." Carly's soft voice drifted over to him and he was momentarily surprised that she had known it was him. But it quickly passed as he remembered that, somehow, she had always known when he was there.

"What are you doing down here in the dark?" He asked, moving into her line of sight.

"I couldn't sleep so I came down to turn the tree on. It started to snow and everything just looked so…peaceful." Carly said and her eyes finally looked up towards him.

In that instant Jack had to fight the very strong urge to lean down and kiss her. Carly must have read it in his eyes for even in the multicolored blinking Christmas lights he could see that she suddenly blushed. Clearing her throat softly, she sat up, tucking her hair behind her ears.

"What are you doing up?" She asked and he shrugged.

"Couldn't sleep either. Guess it's the excitement of Santa coming." Jack said jokingly and she smiled at him, before motioning for him to sit down. He hesitated only a moment before joining her on the couch and staring at the tree. Jack heard a soft sigh and looked over at the now solemn faced Carly.

"You're thinking about your sisters, aren't you?" Jack said and Carly turned to give him a small sad smile.

"Yeah." She ran a hand through her hair and blinked back tears. "It's not fair, Jack. Just when I finally had a real connection with Gwen and Rosanna, I lost them both in the span of six months."

"Hey, listen to me. Rosanna's doctors are very hopeful that the new treatments they have started will work. You just have to give it time. You know how much your sister loves you and I'm sure wherever she is, she is missing you just as much as you miss her." Jack said, leaning forward. Carly's eyes searched his, a confused look on her face.

"How do you know about the new treatments?" Carly asked and Jack shifted in his spot, casting his eyes downward.

"I call sometimes to check on her. I know how worried you are and I just want to make sure they are doing everything they can for your sister." Jack said and looked back up at her. Her eyes were bright with unshed tears and she gave him a warm smile.

"Thank you." Carly said softly, placing a hand on his cheek. Would this man ever cease to amaze her?

Jack smiled back and then noticing how close they were, he awkwardly pulled away. Clearing his throat he said, "As for Gwen, it was just the snow that kept her and Will from flying in with the baby. But I thought Sage told me that you guys spoke with them on the phone."

"Yeah, they called yesterday." Carly smiled and nodded. "She even put Hallie on for a minute."

"Um, isn't Hallie barely a year old?" Jack asked giving her a look.

"Hey, she knew her Aunt Carly's voice! Gwen told me that she was grinning up a storm on the other end of the phone." Carly said and Jack rolled his eyes playfully.

"Yeah, she was just probably excited to be able to play with something that all the grownups tell her not to touch." Jack said and reared back as Carly jokingly went to swat at his arm. He laughed and as he settled back into his spot on the couch, he shivered slightly.

Carly's eyes roamed over him, casually taking in the black long sleeved t-shirt and grey sweatpants that he wore along with the fact that his feet were bare. She frowned and pointed to them.

"You really should be wearing socks, you know. You lose body heat the fastest through your extremities like your head, hands, and feet." She said and Jack turned to arch his eyebrow at her.

"Thank you, WebMD." Jack said and she made a face at him, before offering part of the large blanket. As he accepted it, he caught sight of her outfit and started laughing. "I guess I could always wear flannel pajamas large enough that I could swim in."

Carly looked down at her nighttime attire and then back at him, frowning. "Hey, Meg is the only one who brought extra pajamas! Can I help it if she happens to be pregnant and prefers everything she sleeps in to be two sizes too big? Although, don't ask me why they have wagon wheels on them because I have no idea."

"Hey, I kinda like them. They remind me of…" Jack trailed off and she looked at him, knowingly.

_Montana._ She mentally finished for him and looking away she reached for a blue mug that had been sitting on the coffee table.

"Hey, is that…?" Jack asked, grinning at her.

"Carly's Cocoa?" She asked, grinning back and nodded before taking a sip.

"Did you happen to make any more?" Jack hinted but she shook her head.

"Nope, wasn't expecting company." She said, trying not to laugh at his obvious disappointment.

Jack fake pouted, before a grin slowly began to creep across his face. Carly frowned, not liking the sudden gleam that was in his eye.

"Well, then I guess you're just going to have to share!" Jack said and her eyes widened.

"Jack, you'll wake everyone up!" She said, holding her mug away from her and trying to scramble off the couch. Jack had anticipated this and was leaning on her legs, making movement impossible.

"Not if you just play nice." He said as if it was the most reasonable thing in the world.

"Not on your life, G-man! I don't remember you sharing the gingerbread men so nicely." Carly said, trying not to laugh as his continuously attempted to swipe at her cup.

"Hey, don't blame me! Blame your son!" Jack paused momentarily at how easily her special nickname for him had rolled off her tongue. For Carly's part, she didn't even seem to realize what she had said as she tried to wiggle out from under his grip on her legs.

"Which son?" Carly asked, giggling as she thought about how both Parker _and_ J.J. had managed to eat three gingerbread men a piece before being caught.

"Exactly! Not my fault." Jack said and with a quiet cry of success, managed to pry the mug from her fingers. Taking long gulps of the thankfully cooled off chocolate drink, he grinned victoriously down at her as he handed the drained cup back.

She couldn't help but laugh at the child like triumph on his face and her eyes sparkled as they looked into his. Reaching one hand up, she wiped a thumb over his upper lip, capturing the stray remains of the drink. They both froze for moment at the intimate gesture before she looked away, her hand starting to fall back to her side.

Jack caught her wrist and she looked up at him sharply. He slowly drew her thumb to his mouth and kissed the chocolate off, his eyes never leaving her face. Carly drew in a hitched breath, her stomach turning with that memorable tingle that always hit when his lips touched her in any way, shape, or form. Then, as if they were two opposite parts of a magnet, they moved towards each other.

Jack nudged her cheek with his nose and kissed the side of her mouth, the action resulting in a soft sigh from Carly. He pulled back then immediately leaned forward again to press his lips to hers. Gently but slowly increasing the pressure Jack kissed her until finally she relented with another sigh, opening her mouth to his. This time the sigh came with the additional sound of a muted thud, made by the empty mug falling to the carpet as she wound both arms around his neck.

The kiss intensified, Jack seamlessly sliding his hands under Carly's flannel pajama top to caress her smooth skin. She arched into his touch, a quiet gasp leaving her lips. It was only when his hands moved a little lower, to the waist band of her pajama pants, that her brain finally kick started back into action. She stilled and her hands shot down to hold his wrists, her grip so intense that her knuckles turned white.

"Jack, stop." Carly's voice finally broke into his hazy mind and he looked down into her face. "Stop, we can't do this."

He blinked hard then pulled away, realizing what they had been doing. He ran a hand through his hair as he sat back down at the other end of the couch, He wryly noted that while his head had caught up with the fact that they stopped, some parts of his anatomy were still way behind. He shifted uncomfortably and Carly looked away, trying to calm her own body down.

"I'm sorry." Jack finally said, his voice low and still slightly husky. The sound of it made chills go down Carly's spine and she tried not to shiver.

"It's okay, Jack." Carly said quietly, but Jack shook his head.

"No, it's not. I promised myself that I wouldn't pressure you or do something to make you uncomfortable while you were here. I told you before that I can accept your decision and that's exactly what I'm going to do." Jack said and she frowned.

"Jack…"

"No, really, it won't happen again." Jack said firmly and he looked at her before quickly looking away again. Carly took a deep breath and stood, stopping to pick up the fallen mug.

"Leave it. I'll get it when I go back upstairs." Jack said and she nodded silently, before heading for the stairs.

She paused at the bottom and looked over her shoulder at him. He looked so alone on the couch, the lights sending rainbow colored flecks across his face as his eyes now watched the falling snow. Carly wanted nothing more but to run back across the room and snuggle in his arms; to enjoy just a single perfect moment with him once more.

"Jack," She said softly and though he didn't move she knew he was listening. "I'm sorry. I just...I just want what's best for everyone."

There was silence and then just as softly, he replied, "I know, Carly. I just wish that you would trust me when I say that it would be different this time. I wish…"

Jack trailed off and Carly wiped the tear that slid down her cheek at the desolate tone of his voice. He shook his head and laid it back against the sofa with his eyes shut tightly. She knew he wouldn't speak again. Since he couldn't say what he wanted, he silently dismissed her instead.

_I trust you with my life, Jack._ Carly thought, as she whispered a goodnight to him and headed back to her room. _I just wish I could trust you with my heart again._


	20. Some Good Old Fashioned Advice

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Advice is like snow; the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into, the mind."  
-Samuel Taylor Coleridge_

************************************************************************

"Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!"

Carly's eyes strained themselves to open and she immediately wished they hadn't. Her world was bouncing up and down, thanks to an overeager Sage on her bed.

"Sage, honey, please stop. You're making me nauseas." Carly groaned and then seeing the clock she groaned again. "Baby, it's not even eight o'clock in the morning. Everyone is probably still…"

She trailed off as she watched her sons shuffle into her doorway. Completely sleep tousled they leaned heavily in the doorframe, yawning but trying to force their eyes to open as Carly had done moments before.

Carly held back a chuckle at the image they presented. Apparently the thought of getting gifts had overridden their teenage sense of duty to over-sleep.

"Where's Daddy?" Sage said crossing her legs as she settled into the dark green, down comforter on the bed.

"What do you mean?" Carly said, her brain still struggling to wake up.

"He's not in his room." J.J. said as he and Parker exchanged glances. Neither one would admit it out loud, but when they hadn't been able to find Jack in his room they had both secretly hoped they would find him in here with Carly.

Carly caught the look between them and sent one of her own before answering Sage.

"I don't know where your dad is, Sweetie." Carly looked at Sage, but aimed her answer to all three of them. Parker and J.J. at least had the decency to study their socks, when she glanced pointedly in their direction. "Maybe he's downstairs already, waiting to see what Santa brought him."

"Oh, Mommy." Sage said, rolling her eyes.

Carly's gaze pricked with tears at the reminder that her youngest child had finally outgrown the belief in Santa Claus. She could hardly believe that it was just last year that Sage had written out a Christmas list and insisted on mailing it to the North Pole right away, practically before the marker had dried on the paper. Carly ran a hand over Sage's hair and kissed her forehead. Where did the time go?

"Can we go downstairs now?" Sage asked and even the two teens in the doorway were now, somehow, completely awake and raring to go.

"Oh for the love of…" Carly said, rolling her eyes and throwing on the fleece robe that Emma had loaned her. "Let me brush my teeth and then yes, by all means, lead the way!"

When they entered the living room, they were met with the rest of the family looking pretty much the exact same way. The kids were bouncing on their heels by the tree while the grownups looked ready to pass out again at a moment's notice.

All of the grownups except one, that is.

When a fully alert Emma pressed a steaming mug of hot coffee into Carly's hands, the look of pure gratitude she received in return made the matriarch laugh out loud.

"Don't worry. You go join the rest of the zombies on the couch. I've got the kids." Emma said and shooed Carly to where most of the other adults were sitting.

Meg had claimed the cushioned rocking chair by the fireplace instead, but the poor thing had fallen back asleep with Paul sitting on hearth next to her, holding her hand. His own eyes were dropping then flying open again every few seconds. By the way they looked this morning Carly was willing to bet that the baby had been up all night kicking.

Carly moved to the sofa, pausing briefly when she saw Jack sitting in the same spot that she had left him in last night. He looked up at her and the moment their eyes met, every second from last night ran through her mind. When he broke the gaze and looked back down into his own cup of coffee, Carly knew that the same thing had happened to him. Lily and Holden finally noticed her standing there and scooted over to let her sit down.

"Right next to Jack," Lily whispered in Carly's ear as she sat next to her, leaning over with a pleased smile on her face.

"Thanks." Carly whispered back sarcastically, making Lily frown.

"What? What happened? You guys were getting along great last night."

"Nothing." Carly said, sighing and shaking her head. Now was not the time to get into it.

Lily let it go, but by the way she kept sending sideways glances her way, Carly knew that she was going to be pressed for details later on.

"Okay, guys, you know the drill." Emma said and all the kids dropped to the floor where they stood, looking eagerly at the immense pile of gifts under the tree.

The Christmas day routine in the Snyder family was a relatively easy one. When putting out the presents last night, the men had kept a tally for each child. After making the amounts even, whatever was left over was put away by that respective parent to have them open up later at their individual home. Even though accessories and batteries counted along with a gift as one present, there was still an impressive amount for each kid to open.

About halfway through the process the adults would be handed their gifts, making everyone end around the same time. Not only was it the best way to prevent upsets and rivalry between the kids, but it kept the progression moving at a nice pace.

The kids were opening their third round of presents when they all heard the kitchen door open.

"Hello! Merry Christmas!" Brad called out as he and Katie walked into the living room.

He held her by the elbow and was taking shuffling steps next to her. However, for being stabbed only three days ago, Katie was moving incredibly well.

"Brad, I'm sore and pregnant not crippled. You can move a little faster." She muttered under her breath and rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, but…" Brad started but she quickly cut him off.

"Merry Christmas, everyone! Are we too late?" Katie asked cheerfully and this time it was Brad who rolled his eyes, but they twinkled with amusement at his wife's stubbornness.

"Not at all, we just started! Come in and sit down, honey." Emma said, waving them into the room after kissing both of them hello.

Jack and Holden quickly moved off of the sofa, allowing Carly and Lily to make room. The men re-positioned themselves on the floor in front of the couch and Brad settled down next them.

"So what did we miss?" He asked, cheerfully.

"Not much. The kids were just about to descend on their next round of gifts like a pack of wild hyenas." Holden joked and Brad laughed, looking over at the kids. His laughter caught in his throat at the pointed and impatient stares he received in return.

"Oh, well, don't let us stop you." Brad said, waving them on. They didn't need any more encouragement as they enthusiastically reached for the closest gift-wrapped item surrounding them.

The adults laughed and Emma handed Brad a cup of coffee and one of decaffeinated tea for Katie, before going back to keep an eye on the gift opening.

Lily looked at Katie and smiled. "How was your Christmas Eve?"

"Well, Liberty came to eat dinner with us at the hospital and she surprised us with decorations that the nurses let us put around the room. It was actually pretty fun." Katie said, sipping her tea and smiling at the memory of Brad and Liberty bickering playfully about where to hang everything. The teen had even bought two poinsettias, one large and one small.

One for Katie and one for her new baby brother or sister, Liberty had explained promptly making Katie hug her while trying in vain not to cry. Brad had laughed at the tears, saying it was hormones again but both Liberty and Katie had seen him brush one away before he could hide it.

"Yeah, I dropped her back off at the Lakeview to spend the rest of the night there with Janet and we're going to stop by later to take her with us to Tom and Margo's place." Brad said, smiling too.

"Brad," Jack spoke up, his voice quiet and his eyes fixated on his coffee mug. "How is Janet?"

The women all shifted up on the couch, while Holden and Brad exchanged glances.

"She's okay. She's spending the morning with Liberty then having dinner with Henry and Vienna, I believe." Brad said slowly and Jack nodded his head. Carly's hands itched to reach out to him, but by the way he held his shoulders so stiffly she knew he didn't want any comfort. Probably most of all from her.

The uncomfortable moment passed and soon they were drawn back into the fray of the gift opening.

When Luke and Noah arrived they, also, easily fell into the family fun. Luke was essentially attacked by his younger siblings, who rarely got to see him anymore since he started college. He was good natured about it, especially since he missed them as much as they missed him. Noah found himself immediately pulled into a conversation about the snowboards that Brad had given Parker and J.J., discussing the best slopes to hit and some easy beginner tricks he could show them.

As morning progressed, the halfway mark for opening gifts came quickly. They all paused to eat breakfast, before resuming their exact same positions as before. The adults were given their own gifts and the volume of the room increased a few times over with laughter and talking.

When everything had been opened, the kids settled in to pass toys around or fiddle with the new gadgets they had been given, while the adults continued their prior conversations.

Well, most of them.

"Meg, honey, why don't you go back to sleep? The good stuff is over." Emma said and kissed her sleepy daughter's head. She threw a look at Paul, her feelings for him usually only slightly above tolerable and that was only because he obviously made her daughter happy. "You too, Paul. You look like you are about to keel over."

"Um, thanks Emma." Paul said, giving her a look and then winking at her. Rolling her eyes she turned away but not before they could see the small smile she had tried but failed to suppress.

"Hey Meg, would you put Ethan down for his nap while you're heading up?" Lily asked, motioning to the little boy who was curled up on the living room rug half asleep himself.

"I got him, Lily."

Paul stood then bent down to lift the tired toddler into his arms. Ethan shifted to look at Paul and then with a sleepy smile, promptly conked out on the man's shoulder.

"Thanks again for all the presents, guys." Meg said, as Paul helped her out of the rocking chair with one hand, the other arm holding Ethan tightly. She looked at Carly and gave a huge smile. "Those baby clothes were adorable. I can't believe you had time to make them!"

Carly had taken the classic "mod" look from the 60s that she predicted would be coming back into style and basically shrunk it down into baby sized clothes with a couple twists of her own. She had a great time picking out fun, bright patterns and accessories. Her favorite, which coincidentally had been Meg's favorite, was the tiny dress done in a retro flower pattern in sunny teals, pinks, greens, white, and oranges. It had a pink ribbon around the upper chest and Carly had added white baby leggings with laced ruffles on the bottom near the ankles.

Happy not only at the praise but that Meg truly seemed to enjoy the clothes, Carly shrugged and smiled back. "They were designs I had been working on for a while now. I am just glad you liked them."

"Like them? I love them!" Meg exclaimed, as she pointed to the small pile. "I can't wait to dress her up!"

"You know, I think BRO has been thinking about starting a children's line. Maybe you could…" Paul started to say but the looks that, pretty much, everyone threw his way made him stop short.

"Um, Meg, I think you should get your husband back to bed. He seems to be delirious." Carly said, only half joking.

"Yes, I think you might be right." Meg said and turned to pat Paul on the head gently. "Come along, dear. Nap time."

With a goofy smile and wave, Paul allowed Meg to steer him towards the stairs and back to bed. Ethan's hand dangled down Paul's back and as they disappeared around the corner, they saw Paul adjust him more comfortably then gently kiss the sleeping boy's head.

"You know, it amazes me how good he is with the kids." Holden said the disbelief apparent in his voice.

"Especially considering his own parentage." Carly remarked, shuddering at the idea of having James Stenbeck as a parent. Or Barbara Ryan for that matter.

"He's trying to rise above it. And Meg loves him." Lily said, but Holden frowned.

"Yeah, now I just wish Dusty Donovan would leave them the goddamn hell alone."

"Holden…" Lily's voiced warned him against his language and to advise him to calm down.

"No, it's true! Meg doesn't need to be under this kind of stress. It's not good for the baby. I'll admit that I'm not Paul's biggest fan but she's happy with him. Why can't Dusty just leave her alone?" Holden rumbled and Lily just shushed him, bending over to run her hand down his cheek. He sighed, lifting her palm to his lips and kissing it, knowing that his wife was right. This was not the time or place.

They all shook their heads and after beat, Katie turned to Carly.

"Meg's right, though. Those clothes were amazing." She said and then hesitated briefly. "Do you think...you know, down the road...you could design something for our baby?"

Lily threw a small look to Carly that clearly conveyed her line of thinking. Katie was extending another olive branch and it was up to Carly to take it.

"Sure, Katie, I'd be happy to." Carly said slowly, but sincerely.

"I mean, I know I've got a while, but it's never too early to start learning about good fashion, right?" Katie said, letting out a small nervous laugh and tucking her blonde hair behind her ears.

"Amen." Lily and Carly both said and all three women smiled.

The guys had started up a new conversation but Carly, Lily, and Katie knew they had been listening by the almost simultaneous sighs they gave at the lack of bloodshed between the women. Rolling their eyes at each other, they continued to talk about how Katie was feeling. Now that she knew she was just entering her second month they gave her a small run down on what she could probably expect in the months to come.

While talking, Lily shifted to hook her feet under Holden's armpits. In the familiar rhythm of a longtime married man, he adjusted his position on the floor to accommodate her without pausing in the conversation he was carrying on with Brad and Jack. After a few minutes, Katie bent down to ask Brad something and Jack and Carly's attention was caught by Sage and her current electronic gizmo. Suddenly, Holden felt a light kick to his ribs.

'What?' he mouthed to his wife, who said nothing but shifted her eyes in Jack and Carly's direction. He casually looked over at them and then couldn't help but send back a huge grin to Lily.

At some point during the morning, Jack had settled himself between Carly's knees as her legs hung over the couch. His body was turned to face Brad and Holden with his one arm casually draped over Carly's left leg. Carly's hands were frequently fluttering about while she talked but when they weren't moving, one hand was reflexively running its fingers through Jack's thick hair.

The position appeared to be so intimately familiar and natural to them both, that Lily and Holden knew that neither one consciously realized what they were doing.

It was only ten minutes later, when Luke suggested sledding, that Carly and Jack noticed their arrangement and practically jumped apart.

Lily and Holden both held back frustrated sighs and sent irrational glares at their eldest son. Poor Luke just looked back in bewilderment, shrugging his shoulders as if to ask 'what did I do?'

"Yes, great idea!" Jack said, leaping to his feet. "Do you think you and Noah can handle it? Holden, Brad, and I have the great pleasure of trying to dig out all the cars."

"Sure, no problem." Noah said and Luke nodded, exchanging mischievous glances with the rest of the younger crowd.

"Um, hey, boys…no using Vaseline or WD-40 on the bottom of the plastic sleds! We don't need to end the day with a trip to the ER." Lily said, pointing a finger at them.

A chorus of groans sounded and with slightly less enthusiasm they all went to go put on their snow attire.

"And no putting the skate board ramp at the end of the hill!" Carly called out after them, earning another set of loud groans before the adults heard the screen door shut.

"Any chance of them actually listening to you?" Katie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know. Let's see. Emma?" Carly called into the kitchen to answer Katie's question.

"Well, they don't have the ramp." Emma yelled back as she watched the kids head for the massive hill out back that had been used for sledding ever since her own children were young. "But Luke is trying to hide the gallon of vegetable oil I bought last week in his jacket and the five-pack of sponges from the pantry closet is also missing."

The adults all looked at each other before cracking up with laughter.

"You know what? I, uh, think I should go supervise." Brad said after a moment and quickly disappeared to get his snow stuff on before anyone could object.

"Yeah…I guess should probably go supervise the supervisor." Katie said hitching her thumbs in the direction that her husband went while rolling her eyes.

After assuring them that Brad had made her bring enough warm snow attire to brave Antarctica, she followed him into the kitchen. A few minutes later they heard the screen door shut again and the kids shout for joy at the sight of their mischievous older relatives. The happy yells made much more sense when Emma confirmed that Brad was carrying the skate board ramp towards the hill.

Shaking their heads, Holden and Jack also bundled up to brave the chilly outside weather and dig out all of the vehicles in the long driveway. Brad had done just enough to get his SUV close to the kitchen so that he could safely carry Katie in, but then he had graciously left the rest of it covered in two and a half feet of snow.

"We'll be out in a little while to warm you guys up with some coffee." Lily said, turning to grab some of the breakfast dishes that had been left earlier in anticipation of getting back to the presents.

"Make mine cocoa." Jack said not being able to help himself and his eyes deliberately sought out Carly. She stared back at him a moment before busying herself with dishes like Lily.

When they heard the men leave, Lily opened her mouth to speak to Carly but Emma interrupted her.

"Lily, sweetheart, I think Carly and I can handle the dishes in here. Can you go start on the wrapping paper disaster in the living room?"

"Um, sure," Lily said but the look she shot Carly before she left clearly stated once again, that the two friends would be talking later on.

Carly and Emma cleared the table in silence, but Carly knew it wasn't going to last long.

"You know, watching you and my nephew sometimes reminds me of watching the ocean tide." Emma said, turning on the hot water to wash the dishes and handing Carly a towel to dry them. "A constant push and pull motion that seems almost natural."

"Emma, I…" Carly started but Emma cut her off.

"What's going on with you and Jack?" Emma asked bluntly, her poetic moment apparently over.

"Nothing," Carly said but Emma made a noise.

"Carly, I may be getting older but I'm not senile." Emma said and Carly had to hide a smile. "I thought you were with that doctor."

Carly hesitated a moment before nodding. "I am."

"But Jack wants you back." Emma stated rather than asked. "And I take it that you said, no?"

"I said no." Carly confirmed and let out a scornful chuckle. "Which, I'm sure, makes you extremely happy."

"No, Carly, it doesn't." Emma replied almost causing Carly to drop the plate she was in the process of drying.

"What?" Carly said, eyeing her distrustfully. "I thought the last thing you would want is for Jack to be with me again."

"I thought that too, for the longest time. And when he started seeing Janet and proposed to her, I really thought that this was it. Finally he'd have a chance to be happy." Emma said and even though wasn't saying them to be cruel, her words made Carly's chest ache.

Emma looked over at Carly and frowned. "But he wasn't happy. Not really. It was more like he was…I don't know what word would describe it, really. It was as if he was with Janet because he knew she was someone who wouldn't rock the boat."

"And that's a bad thing?" Carly asked, confused.

"It is when, in order to be with that person, you lose that special spark that helps make you who you are." Emma said and, putting the glass she was holding back into the soapy water of the sink, she turned to fully face Carly. "I hadn't seen that spark in Jack's eyes for a long time. That is until last night, when he brought you here."

"But I thought you liked Janet?" Carly said, shaking her head

"I do, very much. And because of Liberty, I still consider her family. Just like when it comes down to it, I consider you family too."

"You do?" Carly asked incredulously.

"Carly, I will admit that you and I haven't always seen eye to eye. But I have seen you follow many different courses over the years and you have still managed to retain that same spit-fire attitude that you had when I first met you. And, trust me, I know how hard that is to do in this town. You are a good mother who loves her kids and they love you back. Hell, you can even drum up a pretty decent apology when you want to."

"I've had to make enough of them." Carly said, self-mockingly.

"You show me someone in Oakdale who says they haven't made several huge mistakes in their lives, including me, and I'll show you a liar." Emma said, staring straight into her eyes. Carly searched her face and finding no trace of condescension, she lowered her gaze to hide the tears that had suddenly formed.

"Thank you." Carly said softly.

"Can I ask why you turned him down?" Emma said after a beat and when Carly opened her mouth she shook her head. "And don't tell me it's because of Dr. Reynolds because it's pretty obvious that you still love Jack just as must as you ever did."

A movement outside caught Carly's attention and she couldn't help but smile as she watched Jack shake off the snowball that Holden had thrown square in his chest before playfully threatening to whack his cousin with the shovel.

Carly's heart expanded just at the sight of him and that smug little grin of his. Whenever they were in the same room her stomach still felt like there were a million butterflies inside, just like it had all those years ago in Montana. He was her G-man and no matter what happened between them, he would always be the one who had taught her what it was like to truly fall in love.

"Yes, I still love Jack. I will always love him." Carly said simply. Her gaze out the window shifted and this time she watched her kids fly down the sledding hill, their happy laughter making its way to her ears. "But...I have to do what's right for our children. And for me and Jack. I don't think any of us couldn't take it falling apart again."

"And you're so sure that it wouldn't work? That you both haven't learned from your past mistakes?" Emma said, watching her face closely. "Maybe you've both grown up more than you realized."

Carly stayed silent and Emma glanced at her sideways before going back to the dishes. They heard Lily start to make her way back into the kitchen and Emma handed the last cup from the sink to Carly and dried her hands. But before she moved away to go help Lily, Emma paused and placed a hand on Carly's arm, making the younger woman look her in the eyes.

"In the end, Carly, just remember something. It's been the choices that you thought you made for the right reasons that always seem to go the wrong way in the end."


	21. Ring Out The Old, Ring In The New

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, ring in the true"  
__-Alfred, Lord Tennyson  
_************************************************************************

"Ma'am, do you want this set up over here or in the right wing?" A voice called out.

"Ms. Tenney, we can't find the other four bottles of Absolut Citron. Are you sure the case got delivered?"

"Hey, Carly, I think this phone call is for you!"

Carly stood in the middle of the floor at Metro and covered her face with her hands, taking a deep breath. Dropping them she braced herself and pasted a smile on her face.

"Put the DJ set up over in the right wing. There's more room and better acoustic levels." She told Andy, one of the tech guys, who saluted her back.

Turning she looked at Jake, Mimi, and Tommy, the trio of trick bartenders she had hired for the main bar tonight.

"All of the extra bottles that you requested are under the bar along with the shakers and lighters, ready to go. The rest of the Citron is in the back, sharing the box of the leftover Absolut Raspberri. If you need something tonight, we've hired runners to grab it for you."

They all shot her thumbs up signs and then started to practice their routines. Carly smiled and then moved to where Jessica, the front hostess, stood with the phone hanging in her hand. Carly rolled her eyes at the friendly college senior who laughed before moving away to triple check the VIP section for Parker's celebration tonight.

"Hello, this Carly Tenney."

"Well, hello Carly Tenney. How crazy has it been today?" Lily's voice came over the line and Carly laughed.

"Crazy? Try completely insane!" Carly said, leaning on the bar as she talked to her friend.

"You want insane? You coordinate eight pre-teenaged girls under one roof without someone throwing a mini tantrum about not wanting someone else to come over." Lily said and Carly could hear the exhaustion in her voice.

"Remind me again to thank Emma for volunteering the farm for the sleepover tonight. It was the only way I could get Sage to stop being so upset about not coming to Parker's birthday. I'm already pushing it by letting J.J. in tonight." Carly sighed, her anxiety level spiking at the memory of how many liability forms she had to fill out in order to hold Parker's party at Metro tonight.

"Well, besides the fact that you are going to have bouncers outside the VIP section monitoring their coming and going, half of Metro tonight will be Oakdale PD. No one is going to be sneaking alcohol. Teens are dumb sometimes, but not _that_ dumb." Lily said then chuckled. "As for Emma, I love her dearly, but part of me is afraid that when we come home after tonight we'll find her huddled in the corner talking to herself."

"Oh, we are going to owe her _big_." Carly laughed loudly and shook her head.

"So are you what time are you heading home to get ready?" Lily asked.

"I'm not. I don't have the time so I brought my stuff here to change. Henry and I might not always see eye to eye but bless that little man's heart for insisting we install a full bath between our offices." Carly said with a wry smile on her face. "It helps on the nights that we find ourselves running around like lunatics."

"Like tonight?" Lily said and passed Ethan a bowl of fruit as he came into the kitchen. Shooing him out again to watch his Disney movie, she turned her attention back to the phone.

"Exactly." Carly answered. "Thankfully Jack's going to drop off Sage at the farm, then bring Parker and J.J. here around 8. And I think Lee's coming with Mattie around the same time but the rest of the kids shouldn't be here until about 8:30."

"Hmmm, how's that going by the way?" Lily said, leaning forward on her kitchen counter.

"Me and Lee?" Carly asked smoothly.

"Well, since there really isn't a 'you and Lee', then _no_ that's not what I meant." Lily responded sarcastically.

Carly sighed and wrapped one of her curls around her finger. "Jack and I have been getting along…okay."

"Just okay?" Lily prodded, propping her chin in her hand as she sat down at the kitchen table. "I thought after he drove you all home after Christmas dinner that maybe…"

"No, Lily, I told you. All he did was drive us home and say goodbye. He wouldn't even come in for coffee. I mean, I guess I know that things aren't going to _immediately_ go back to the way they were and at least we're talking again. I just have to give him time, you know?"

"No, I _don't_ know. What I _do_ know is that you should be telling Jack the truth about how you really feel about him." Lily said firmly.

"Lily, please don't start. It's bad enough that I get it from Lee every other minute." Carly sighed.

"Well, what about that, Carly? Did it ever occur to you that maybe you being linked to him romantically, isn't fair to Lee? That _maybe_ he would like to start dating someone for real?" Lily asked and rolled her eyes when Carly scoffed at her words.

"Puh-leez. You and I both know that there isn't one woman in Oakdale that is good enough for him." Carly said. "Besides, he's way too busy raising Mattie and adjusting to the new job."

"Oh, I heard about that! It's a pretty big honor to be here for such a short time and be offered the new Junior Chief of Medicine position. Tell him I said congrats." Lily said sincerely.

"You can tell him yourself tonight. I'm sure he'd appreciate it." Carly said and then frowned when a movement caught her eye. "Hold on one second, Lily."

Carly covered the mouth piece with one hand and waved with the phone to catch the attention of the workers who were traipsing in and out of the club as they unloaded the alcohol delivery truck.

"Whoa guys! The smaller bar on the platform of the VIP section is to be stocked with soda, water, and candy only. No alcohol of any kind. If I see one bottle even_ look_ like it's headed in that direction again, you're out of here! Jessica, show them to the bar near stage right and then call to check on the rest of the bartenders arrival times. You can use my office line. "

The four guys looked down at the cases of liquor in their hands and back to the blonde yelling at them. They had been told about the VIP bar restrictions in the beginning but since it was New Year's Eve they had assumed that someone had been told wrong. They knew they sure as hell wouldn't make that assumption again as they all turned and followed the young hostess to the side bar closest to the stage.

Carly shook her head and then took her hand off the mouth of the phone. "I'm sorry, Lily."

"No, you know what? I still have a million things to do here before I take Faith to her own sleepover and then drop Natalie and Ethan off at the farm. So I'm going to let you go do your club owner thing and I'll see in a few hours okay?"

"Yep, can't wait." Carly said, smiling.

"_I_ can't wait to see Jack's face when he gets a look at you in your New Year's Eve outfit." Lily said and laughed at Carly's squeak on the other end.

"You are impossible, you know that?" Carly said, but couldn't help but laugh. "Goodbye!"

"Bye!" Lily said echoing her laughter.

Carly shook her head as she hung up the phone, but the grin that she wore for the rest of the day proved that she wasn't immune to her friend's words.


	22. Let The Last Year Go

**_Author's Note: Here's wishing everyone a happy and healthy new year!!! Have fun but be safe! :)_**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

_Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.  
__-Brooks Atkinson  
_************************************************************************

Just as Carly had predicted to Lily over the phone, Jack arrived at Metro with the two boys at five after eight. They were all surprised at how many people were already inside, ready and waiting to dance the night away at Oakdale's hottest spot for New Year's Eve.

After saying hi to a slightly hectic Jessica and receiving their VIP wrist bands, Parker, J.J., and Jack moved towards the dance floor to check out the DJ and the awesome decorations that had been put up. When Parker and J.J. both commented on the trick bartenders juggling three bottles of Malibu Rum between them, Jack turned into "Mr. Cop". He immediately started spouting off his typical threat to end _any_ person's life if they touched alcohol tonight while both boys resisted the urge to roll their eyes. He was in mid-lecture when they heard a greeting called out.

"Happy Birthday Yank!" Mattie's voice called out and all three turned to where she and Lee where now entering Metro.

Jack realized after a moment that Parker hadn't answered back and when he glanced over at his sons he had to quickly hide the smirk that spread across his lips. Both boys' jaws were dropped and their eyes were huge.

"You..you look…" Parker stammered.

"Hot!" J.J. finished for him and received an elbow to the ribs for his outburst.

Mattie just laughed and rolled her eyes. It was quite a different reaction than her uncle's when she had shown him the outfit that Carly had specifically designed for her.

The short, strapless, satin dress was done in tie-dyed shades of black, emerald green, and silver that flowed gracefully to end in a slightly "bubble" hem just above her mid-thigh. Lee had immediately started yelling about how "no niece of his" was going anywhere wearing an outfit that short. Finally Mattie had to crack her impassive face and laughingly show him the black leggings that she would be wearing with it as well the black cropped sweater that she would bring to cover her shoulders if she got cold. She had to admit that her uncle had been very endearing as he had sputtered and tried to act like he knew there was more to the outfit all along.

Carly had also shown Mattie a fun way to accentuate her green eyes with sparkling eyeliner and slightly over the top green iridesent eye shadow. With her long brown hair pulled back in a mane of curls reaching her mid back, Mattie knew she looked good and was damn proud of it. She might have liked remodeling vintage cars but she was still a girl!

"Okay, we can fawn over me later, boys. I want to check _everything_ out!" Mattie grabbed both of their hands and throwing a quick goodbye over her shoulder, proceeded to drag them to the VIP section.

"I think we've been dismissed, mate." Lee said as he watched them go with a smile on his face.

Jack inwardly cringed at the friendly slang term, knowing that Lee didn't mean to sound so Australian. But after everything with Simon, Jack had to admit the accent still irked him.

"Yeah, I guess so." Jack said back lamely and both men shuffled their feet a moment as they tried to think of something to say.

"So, Carly told me how much she enjoyed Christmas. It was nice of you to have her at the farm." Lee said, attempting to start a conversation again.

_'I bet she didn't tell you _everything_,_ _mate.'_ Jack thought, remembering what had happened between him and Carly under the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree. He hoped the smug smirk he heard in his mental voice didn't show on his face.

"Yeah, the kids were really happy she was there." Jack said and Lee raised an eyebrow.

"The kids, huh?" Lee said and Jack frowned at the insinuation he heard in the other man's voice.

Deciding that he wasn't going to hold back on his true position anymore, Jack turned to look Lee dead in the eye. "It's where she belonged."

"Hm." was the only reply Lee gave making Jack's blood begin to boil. But before he could say anything to the doctor, a movement caught his eye.

Carly had begun to slide through the growing crowd, occasionally stopping to say hi to a familiar customer or to be introduced to whoever they were with.

Her hair was pulled up in a mass of curls, with a few loose ones here and there, in the hairstyle that Jack liked so much. To him it just screamed to have each bobby pin slowly pulled out to free the locks and let his hands tangle in them. The black sequined dress came to about the same above mid-thigh length as Mattie's dress only Carly wasn't wearing leggings like the teen. Her long toned legs showed proud and true, ending in that same pair of dangerously high and dangerously sexy black stilettos. The front of the dress appeared to be a sleeveless turtleneck, but when Carly turned to answer a question from Jessica, Jack almost choked on his own saliva.

There was no back to Carly's dress.

The turtleneck look was actually a thick banded halter style and the scoop of the back of the dress rested well below the small of Carly's back. In fact, if it was about another inch and a half lower, Jack envisioned he would be able to see her panty line…if she was wearing any.

"Whoa." Jack said, not being able to help himself. Lee, let out a low whistle at the sight of her too and Jack felt a red hot jealously sweep over him. At that moment, he never wanted to break a bottle over someone's head more.

Carly finally saw them and paused, momentarily stunned to see them standing next to each other. Pasting a smile on her face she made her way over to them, saying her last little hellos as she went.

"Hi." She said simply and accepted the hug and kiss on the cheek from Jack, trying to ignore the tingle that went down her spine. Then she turned and received the same from Lee. At Jack's small frown and slight glance between them, Carly realized she had a small part to play tonight. With a smile that she hoped wasn't more of a grimace she leaned into Lee's side, squeezing his waist subtly.

To his credit, Lee caught on quickly and bent to kiss her head, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

"Where are the kids?" Carly asked, pulling away to look around the crowded club.

"Are you kidding? The VIP section was calling their name." Jack said jokingly, trying to pull himself together at the sight of Carly and Lee.

"So I guess that means I won't see my son until everything is over, since I'm under strict instructions not to show my face once his friends get here." Carly said, rolling her eyes.

"You got the 'I'll die of embarrassment' speech too huh?" Jack said, nodding his head towards the entrance where Jessica was handing out VIP wrist bands to a large group of teens and checking them off her list.

"Yup, but I got it covered." Carly said and waved a hand.

Sensing a movement to his right, Jack turned and found himself nose to chest with an oak tree. Except this oak tree was actually a large African American male, about 6'5 with muscles that looked to be the size of Sage's head.

"Jack, this is Marcus Royale. He'll be the head bouncer appointed to the VIP section tonight since we aren't even allowed to look in that direction." Carly said, smirking.

"Um, nice to meet you." Jack said, holding out his hand and trying not to wince as Marcus shook it firmly. He could tell that the bodyguard wasn't trying to show off, it was just his natural grip.

"You too, sir." Marcus said back in a voice that was so deep it reminded Jack of the actor, James Earl Jones.

"And you remember, Lee Reynolds." Carly said, gesturing to the other man. Lee had been waiting to take Carly to lunch the day Marcus had come in for the interview.

"Yeah, no need to shake hands. I'm a doctor, remember?" Lee joked and Marcus sent a wide white smile.

"Ms. Tenney, I'm going to head over now. If you need me, please just let me know." Marcus said and with another smile, he was gone.

"Are you sure that guy isn't a brick wall posing as a human?" Jack asked, watching the giant man walk away.

"He's ex-Special Forces. Comes highly recommended." Carly said, trying to hold back a laugh as she watched all her son's teenaged friends do a double take as Marcus posted himself outside the VIP section.

"Shocking news" Jack muttered sarcastically. He glanced at the door to Metro and grinned. "Ah, the cavalry is here."

Waving the newly arrived Holden and Lily over, they all exchanged pleasantries before Holden clapped his hands lightly.

"Alright. Small talk is over. What do you say we get this party started?" He asked and soon the small group was laughing and dancing with the best of them. Carly was sticking to tonic water and lime, vowing that with her son there she was not going to let her guard down with alcohol. Not to mention that the woman was often pulled in several directions, making sure everything was running smoothly.

Jack never noticed how much satisfaction Carly took in her job. It might not have been her dream of a fashion house, but she threw herself into it 110 percent anyway. He couldn't help the look of utter pride that crossed his face every time someone complimented her on the night or when she solved a problem quickly and discretely.

Before anyone knew it, it was 11:00 and the DJ had lit up a large digital clock next to his station that held a countdown all the way to the millisecond. The lights around it pulsed to the rhythm of the beat belonging to whatever song that he played.

"That's pretty cool." Jack commented, pointing to it with the same hand that held his glass of rum and coke.

"Definitely. He's a good DJ. Where'd you find him?" Holden turned to Carly, but noticed she was focused on something else. They all followed her gaze and made surprised noises as soon as they caught sight of what she was staring at.

"Is that…?" Lily started to ask but trailed off.

"Excuse me." Carly said, not even glancing at the others, especially Jack, as she moved towards the female nervously talking to Jessica.

"I'm sorry. You're not on either list for tonight's entrance." Jessica said, flipping the pages and scanning again. "I'm really sorry."

"Jessica, everything okay here?" Carly asked, placing a hand on the hostess's shoulder looking into the face of the person arguing with her.

Brown eyes looked into Carly's blue ones and a momentary flash of defiance flickered across the other female's face before settling into one of resignation.

"Hi, Carly."

"Hi, Liberty."

The young girl tucked her light brown hair behind her ears making the dangling gold earrings that matched her gold and black sparkling dress flash in the club lights.

"I, uh, I was invited." Liberty said slowly, glancing again at Jessica and her lists.

"I thought Parker said that you told him you wouldn't come. I believe the exact words were 'when hell froze over and monkeys ice skated with the devil'." Carly said, trying to suppress a smile at the memory just like she had when an obviously upset Parker had told her the girl's response. The phrase had sounded like something she would have said in a similar situation.

"I know. After that." Liberty said, blushing slightly at the reminder.

"By who?" Carly asked.

"By me."

Both Carly and Liberty turned to see Mattie standing just off to the side, her brilliant green eyes flickering back and forth between them as she walked closer.

"Parker really wants you here and I think…I think you really wanted to be here too." Mattie said, smiling softly at the other young girl.

"Yeah, I really did." Liberty said back and returned the smile, although it was smaller than Mattie's was.

"I see." Carly said and whispered into Jessica's ear, who nodded and without comment placed a wristband on Liberty.

"Have a good time." Carly said, keeping her own personal feelings in check out of respect to her son and after shooting Mattie a look, she turned to walk away.

"Wait, Carly!" Liberty said and she reached out to touch Carly's arm. When Carly stopped and looked at her, Liberty sighed and dropped her hand. "I just wanted to say…I'm sorry. I only wanted my mom to be happy. I don't…I didn't mean…"

The girl trailed off, unsure of how to exactly say what she wanted. She meant the things she said at the time, but she regretted them now as evident by her eyes looking down at the floor.

"I know." Carly said and placed a hand on Liberty's shoulder then made her way back to the small group of stunned adults waiting for her.

Liberty watched her go and upon seeing that Jack was a part of that group she momentarily stiffened.

'_You know what, Mom? It's not _my_ fight anymore._' Liberty thought and nodded firmily to herself before following Mattie to where the rest of the teenagers were.

"Liberty's here?" Holden asked as Carly reached for her drink that Lee had been holding for her.

"Good catch there." Carly said, sipping from her glass and exchanging amused glances with Lily. "It'll be okay."

"Definitely." Lee said and then clinked his glass with hers, making her look at him and grin.

Jack watched them with slightly narrowed eyes and in one smooth gulp, made half of his drink disappear. Holden noticed and clapped a hand on his cousin's shoulder then bent over and whispered into Jack's ear. A slow grin spread over Jack's face and he nodded. Holden turned and smiled at Lily, Carly and Lee.

"Will you guys excuse us for a moment?"

Without waiting for an answer they turned and disappeared into the crowd. The three that were left looked at each other curiously and shrugged. Suddenly Lee started slightly and looked down at his waist. Unclipping his pager, he frowned looking at the number.

"Go ahead. Use my office." Carly said, inclining her head towards the back, rolling her eyes.

"Thanks, Luv. Won't be but a minute." Lee said and leaned over to kiss her cheek before also shimmying through the mass of people.

Lily waited patiently until he was out of ear shot and then grabbed Carly's arm eagerly.

"So? How was everything before we got here? We kind of just jumped right into the party so I didn't have a chance to ask you." Lily asked, her brown eyes sparkling with curiosity.

"That's true. And I didn't get to tell you that you looked great by the way! That sapphire blue suits you!" Carly said gesturing to the satin off the shoulder blouse that Lily wore with black slacks and strappy black heels. Her long brown hair was newly highlighted and curled at the ends. It was half pulled back with a gorgeous set of combs, showing off the black dangling earrings that Carly had loaned her.

"Thanks!" Lily said, preening for a moment then immediately becoming serious again. "Now stop stalling."

"Better than expected, but completely weird." Carly said, sighing. "It didn't occur to me that I would have to play like Lee and I are dating."

"Oh, yeah." Lily said, frowning. "Not good."

"Yeah and it just hit me. What do I do at midnight?" Carly said and Lily's eyes widened then narrowed as an impish smile grew on her face.

"Kiss him like there's no tomorrow." Lily said, shrugging.

"What?" Carly exclaimed, looking at her best friend like she had lost her damn mind.

"Look, he's your date right? It'll look weird if you don't kiss him. Plus, it'll drive Jack completely insane." Lily said, sipping her cosmopolitan, her eyes dancing merrily over the rim of the glass.

Carly sent her a wide eyed look before cracking a smile. "True."

"What's true?" Jack asked as he and Holden suddenly reappeared at their sides. Carly jumped at the sound of his voice so close to her ear and the body heat she could feel from him. She looked at him over shoulder as she took a shaky step away.

"Nothing." Lily said, noticing Carly's reaction with a hidden smile, and then looked at her husband in mock suspicion. "And just what were you two doing?"

"Nothing." Holden said back, looping an arm around her neck and kissing her temple.

"Uh huh." Lily said and just nodded unbelievingly at him. She surveyed where she had a sneaking suspicion they had gone and pointed. "Then why are Parker and his friends sending panicked looks at Marcus every five seconds. And why did he just crack his knuckles and neck before sending a wink over here."

"I don't know. I mean, I guess someone might have paid one of the kids twenty bucks to start a rumor that someone had tried to sneak alcohol and that Marcus found out. Then that someone also might have paid another kid to start the rumor that Marcus was trained to kill a guy by just using his pinky when he got mad." Holden said looking over at Jack who wore a completely innocent face.

"And then another someone might have let Marcus in on the fun." Jack said, his lips twitching from him trying to keep a straight face.

"You started a rumor to torture our son on his birthday?" Carly asked, turning to face Jack incredulously.

"No. Never." He said shaking his head no then quickly nodding yes, that smug grin of his lighting up his face. The one that always made Carly wonder whether to slap him or kiss him silly.

"So where'd Lee go?" Jack asked quietly, bringing Carly back to the present as their laughter died down.

"He got a page from the hospital. I don't know…" Carly started to say but the man of discussion suddenly reappeared. Just by the haunted look in his eyes, Carly knew something was wrong. "Lee?"

"Drunk driving accident. Pretty bad. I've got to go." Lee said, running a hand through his hair causing it to become disheveled.

"Don't worry about Mattie, Lee. Holden and I can take her home when we leave or if she wants she can come with us and stay at the farm." Lily said and Lee sent her a grateful look.

"I'm pretty sure she'll want to go home but either way, that'd be great. Thanks." Lee said and Carly took his hand.

"Come on, I'll walk you out." She said and after he said goodnight to the others they headed towards the door.

"Are you okay?" Carly asked and looked up at him as he got his coat from the coat check.

"Yeah, it's just…it was a family and another young couple. Apparently the guy was so drunk that he passed out at the wheel and slammed into a minivan." Lee said, placing a tip in the glass jar as she slid his coat on. "It's just so much like…"

"I know." Carly said, placing a soft hand on his cheek. He leaned into her palm and then bent forward to kiss her gently.

"Have fun, okay, Luv?" Lee said and she nodded.

As he glanced casually back into the club, he noticed Jack trying desperately to act like he wasn't watching their every move. A small sparkle reappeared in Lee's eyes and he bent down again, this time pressing a longer kiss to her mouth. Startled, Carly's own eyes widened and when he pulled away she sent him a puzzled look. While the kiss definitely wasn't unpleasant, it lacked the toe curling chemistry that should accompany it and they both knew it.

"What in the world…?" Carly started to say but he only hugged her and whispered into her ear.

"Just giving you a New Year's gift. Let me know how Detective Snyder reacts after seeing _that_ kiss." Lee said and Carly pulled away, looking him in the eyes before bursting out laughing.

"You're crazy. I love you, but you're crazy." She said and after tweaking her nose gently he winked and left the club.

Carly watched the doorway for moment, shaking her head. Turning to head back into Metro, she caught a glimpse of Jack quickly turning away from where he was blatantly watching her and act like he was listening to Holden and Lily.

"Hmm, maybe you're not so crazy after all, Doc." She muttered. Then hiding the smirk on her face, Carly lifted her chin and walked back inside.


	23. Cheers to a New Beginning

**Author's Note: I'm not really satisfied with how this one turned out, so I'm sorry if it's not up to my usual chapters. It was giving me a lot of trouble. I hope you like it anyways!**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

_"Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right."  
__-Oprah Winfrey  
_************************************************************************

When Carly returned she was surprised to notice that the large countdown clock was already at 11:50. She made eye contact with Jessica, who nodded back, and soon glasses of champagne were being distributed around the club. She watched the VIP section carefully and almost laughed out loud at the kids' reactions when they realized that the champagne glasses being sent in their direction were only glasses of sparkling cider.

Feeling a tap on the shoulder, she turned to see Jack holding a flute of champagne in her direction.

"Thank you." Carly said, accepting it with a soft smile. Jack smiled back and gently clinked his glass with hers.

"Hey, not yet!" Holden said, effectively interrupting the look that had been going on between Carly and Jack. This was rewarded by a light elbow in the ribs and an eye roll from his wife.

As the last few minutes passed by, the excitement in the room continued to grow. The crowd was so eager that when it hit the one minute mark they immediately began to count down. As it got down to 15 seconds, Carly's eyes shot over to the VIP section. She wasn't really surprised to see Parker looking back at her.

"Happy Birthday." Carly mouthed and blew him a kiss. Surprisingly Parker didn't roll his eyes or make a face. He just grinned at her and sent a small wave before turning his attention back to the group of teens that was counting down the loudest.

Suddenly the crowd erupted into a mass of cheers and the DJ began playing an amazing updated mix of Auld Lang Syne. Gold, black, and silver balloons fell from the ceiling and sparkling streamers showered down as well.

"Happy New Year!" Holden cried raising his glass. Carly, Lily, and Jack echoed the sentiment, each taking a healthy sip of the bubbly liquid. Holden then turned to Lily, who wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed her thoroughly.

Jack looked at Carly, who couldn't help the blush that stained her cheeks as she looked back at him.

"Happy New Year, Carly." He said softly and even in the loud din of the club, Carly heard him as if he had whispered into her ear.

"Happy New Year, Jack." She replied and when he leaned forward she knew that even though she could have pulled back and he would have understood, there was no way in hell that was really an option.

Their lips met, soft and intimate. It wasn't an earth shattering kiss and it was much shorter than the one that Lee had given her when he had left. But the electric shock that came with it went down Carly's spine and rattled her to the core.

As Jack pulled away, she could see by the sparkle in his eyes that he had felt it too. Licking her lips nervously she immediately turned to Lily and Holden, who had finally separated, and proceeded to hug her friends. Then, excusing herself, she made sure to keep busy for the remainder of the night

And as far away from Jack and his lips as possible.

Because of this, the next hour and a half passed in a small blur and soon, the DJ was announcing that the bars were now serving last call. Even the crowd had thinned to the point where there were only a few die hard patrons left.

When Carly finally made her way back to where the four of them had congregated all night Jack was still there, leaning against the bar. He looked at her pointedly, that same smug little grin telling her that he had known exactly what had made her disappear just after midnight.

Carly was saved from saying anything to him when very familiar voices came from their left. Turning, she grinned at Mattie, J.J., and Parker as they shuffled over.

"Wow, you guys look wiped." Carly said, slinging an arm over Mattie's shoulders. The young girl smiled tiredly and leaned into Carly's side, resting her head on the woman's shoulder.

"I think we were okay until what will be now known as 'the Red Bull crash of '09.'" She mumbled and Carly laughed, hugging her.

"Did you have fun though?" Jack asked his sons and they sent huge grins back. As tired as they were, their eyes sparkled.

"It was awesome. Everyone said so." J.J. told him, and then covered his mouth when he let out a huge yawn.

"How bout you Birthday Boy?" Lily asked and Parker nodded.

"Yeah, definitely." Parker said.

"Ah, a man of many words." Holden said and Parker rolled his eyes.

"Hey, Mom, everyone's ride came. Marcus just signed the last person off his list. Do you think we can head home too?" Parker asked, so tired he wasn't even bothering to act like a super cool teenager. He was just a 16 year old boy who had partied hard and would like nothing more than to get out of his dress up clothes and go to bed.

"Well, I have to stay to close up but…" Carly looked at Jack who nodded.

"Yeah, come on guys, I'll take you home." Jack said and then looked at Mattie. "If you want I can drop you off too."

"Oh, thanks very much, but I know it's completely out of the way of their house. My uncle texted me earlier when he left and let me know that Mr. and Mrs. Snyder said that they would take me home. If that's still okay?" Mattie asked, looking at Lily and Holden.

"Of, course, sweetie." Lily said, smiling.

"Okay, well, I'll see you guys at home. I don't think I need to tell you to go straight to bed." Carly said, knowing that her sons would be asleep before their heads hit the pillow. Both boys rolled their eyes and smiled indulgently as they nodded.

"Alright, let's get the coats and we'll head out." Jack said.

"Yeah, we're ready to go too." Lily said and Holden agreed.

"Hey, J.J., grab my coat for me?" Parker said and J.J. looked from Parker to Carly and back again before nodding and heading off with the others.

Carly looked at her oldest son expectantly and he shuffled his feet, before sighing.

"I just wanted to say thanks, Mom. It was…it was really cool to let me have my party here." Parker said and she smiled at him.

"I'm glad you had a good time. I was worried there for a while." Carly said and Parker met her eyes, knowing immediately who she was referring to.

"Yeah, me too. It ended up okay though. Uncle Brad just swung by and picked her up a little while ago." Parker said, a faraway look in his eyes. Something had happened tonight, but Carly had a feeling that she wouldn't know what exactly just yet.

"Okay," Carly said and then brushed a loving hand over his cheek. "As long as you're alright."

Parker just smiled and hugged her, making Carly blink back tears as she hugged her firstborn tightly.

"God, I love you so much." She whispered and gave him one last hard squeeze.

"I love you too, Mom." Parker whispered back and then let her go, just in time for everyone to come back to where they stood.

"Everything cool?" Jack whispered in Carly's ear as he watched J.J. and Mattie play a half hearted game of keep away with Parker's jacket.

"Yeah, I think so." Carly said, suppressing the urge to shiver as his breath tickled her neck.

"Good." Jack said and then stood up straight. "Okay guys, let's hit the road."

Fifty-five minutes later, Carly was saying goodnight to Jessica, the only other remaining person in the club. After watching the young girl until she got in her car and drove off, Carly sighed and finally slid out of her high heels. Picking them up, she padded back towards her office with the clear intent on grabbing her car keys and heading home herself. While it might be frowned upon by the law to drive home without footwear it wasn't illegal and Carly was sure as hell not going to take another step in those heels.

As she pulled open her desk drawer to get her clutch, a loud scuffling noise drifted to her ears. Standing straight, she listened closer and frowned. Moving closer to the door, she knew she wasn't hearing things as noise grew louder.

She stepped out into the dimly lit club and stopped short.

"Jack?" Carly asked, placing a hand over her heart. "For the love of God, what is it with you and the determination to give me a damn heart attack? How did you get in here?"

Jack just chuckled and held up a set of keys."You gave them to me for emergencies, remember?"

"Yes, but I don't see anything on fire. And I'm not lying on the floor unconscious so forgive me if I'm not really seeing the emergency here." Carly said, placing her hands on her hips and tapping her foot.

After mentally shaking off that last image, Jack couldn't help but smile. Even furious with him, she made his heart skip a beat.

"I didn't like the idea of you driving home alone. I'm going to follow you back to make sure you're okay." Jack said and Carly rolled her eyes.

"Really, I'm fine, Jack. Just go home." Carly said and when she saw his jaw get that stubborn clench of his, she held up a hand. "Okay, okay. Never mind. Just…give me a second to turn out the lights and then I'm ready to go."

"Toss me your car keys and I'll start it up to get it warm for you." Jack said and after she obliged he slipped out the back exit to the employee parking lot.

As Carly doubled checked that the money from the night was in the safe and the security system was up and running, she sighed as she realized that with Jack here she'd have to put her shoes back on.

After she did just that, she stalked to the back door and upon seeing him leaning on the hood of his own running car, she rolled her eyes in an exaggerated motion. As she shivered slightly in the very early morning air, she had to admit to herself it was nice to know that he cared enough to come all the way back. But that didn't mean she was going to let him know that.

"Okay, all locked up. Can I go home now and finally get these damn heels off?" Carly asked and Jack smirked.

"Oh, speaking of which, I brought you these." Jack reached into his passenger seat and pulled out her pair of pink bedroom slippers. "I knew your feet must be killing you after tonight even though, I have to tell you, with the effect those shoes have it's definitely worth it."

Carly just stared at him, before taking the slippers in silent shock.

"Thank you, Jack." Carly said and not being able to say anything else, got into her now warm car and traded her stilettos for the slippers. Driving home Carly's thoughts and emotions were all over the place. It didn't help matters that Jack proceeded to continue his watchdog routine all the way up to the front door and inside the house, placing his jacket and keys on the desk by the door.

"Jack, you didn't have to come in." Carly said, flipping on the small table lamp by the sofa and turning to face where Jack stood with his hands in his pockets. Even in the low light of the lamp, she was taken aback by the intense way in which he was looking at her.

"What?" Carly asked, self consciously touching her hair and then her dress.

"Did you know that with everything going on tonight, I didn't get to dance with you?" Jack said softly.

"What?" Carly asked again just as softly, her arms dropping to her sides in her surprise.

"We've never forgotten to dance together on New Year's Eve." Jack said and slowly made his way to the small stereo system on top of the bookcase. Turning it on low, he looked back as Carly started to shake her head.

"You'll wake the boys." She said, her eyes darting from him to the stairs.

"They are so tired that a brass marching band could parade through their room and wouldn't wake them up." Jack said, his gaze not moving from her face as he made his way back to the middle of the living room.

"Jack…" She began but he raised a hand to stop her.

"Just one dance, Carly. To start the new year off right." Jack said, holding out his hand to her. There was a long pause, during which Jack was sure that his heart might stop if she said no.

Finally Carly let out a soft sigh and moved to place her hand in his. Without words, he pulled her to him gently and placing his other hand on her waist, they began to sway in time to the soft music on the radio.

They looked as if they were at their first school dance, with at least a foot of space between them. Soon, however, that space began to disappear. In a movement as natural as breathing Carly moved closer, laying her head down on his chest, and Jack's arm wrapped around her tightly. His hand landed on her very bare back and both let out a soft gasp as if he had branded a palm imprint into her skin.

Their clasped hands came to rest over his heart, right next to her face. Jack leaned his own head down until his cheek rested on the top of her curls. He let a smile grace his lips as he held her close. He had forgotten how small she felt in his arms…and how incredibly right it all seemed. The lyrics of the female artist on the radio swirled around the dancing couple and it was if she was singing directly to them

"_Slow, slow it down. Why do we run? We're missing so much, babe. Just lay, in my arms for a while and be still…"_

Not being able to help herself, Carly nestled nearer to him, her eyes closing in contentment. For just a moment, she wanted to relax; to pretend that there would be no fallout if she let Jack back into her heart. But soon that close comforting feeling began to melt into something else entirely and her thoughts turned into memories so many dances like this one that had turned into passionate sessions of making love. Jack felt a shudder go through Carly's body as he held her tightly and he could feel his own body begin to respond.

Lifting their heads, Jack and Carly's eyes locked and before they knew it, the room disappeared and it was only them.

Jack's head bent down and Carly's chin lifted up so that the coming together of their lips was a mutual effort. The hands that had been clasped to Jack's chest were now loose and Carly used this opportunity to allow hers to entangle in his hair. As she held his lips to hers, his arms encircled her waist and slightly lifted her off her feet to pull her full contact to his body. Jack stumbled forward a few steps causing the back of Carly's thighs to meet with the back of the couch, stopping their progress.

Not breaking the deep kiss and making a growling noise deep in his throat, Jack lifted her higher so that she ended up perched on the back edge of the sofa, allowing Jack to step between her legs. She clung to him, locking her legs around his thighs even though Carly didn't really have the slightest concern that he would let her fall backwards.

He pressed his groin to hers and he could feel the heat emanating from her. While using one strong arm to keep her pressed to his body, his other hand to slid up the hemline of her dress. While he was slightly off on the idea of her not wearing any underwear at all, the tiny scrap of lace covering her came damn close in his book.

Carly let out a breath and her head fell back, her hands dropping to her sides to grip the edge of the couch as she pushed herself closer to his touch. Jack grinned at the sudden access to her swan like neck and began to gently nibble at the sensitive skin just below her right ear.

"God, Carly, I want you so much." Jack whispered and Carly nearly wept with the amount of emotion that hit her with those words. Unfortunately, with that tidal wave of feelings came the self preservation that had been kicking her in the ass for the past couple of months and even more so the past couple of weeks.

Placing a hand between them, she gently pushed him away. While it was a light touch, it was enough for Jack to stop his desire inducing movements. Carly wouldn't meet his eyes as he drew in a couple ragged breaths and without comment, helped her slid off the rear of the couch.

Jack stepped back, looking away as Carly adjusted her dress. Still silent, Carly walked to the front door and placed a hand on the doorknob. Following her lead, Jack grabbed his coat and car keys, but didn't immediately leave. Instead he placed his hand over hers and with the other hand held her chin to force her to look him in the eyes. There was no anger in his gaze and while there was definite suppressed desire, the main emotion that Carly saw was determination.

"A new year means new beginnings, Carly. The more you deny what's between us, the stronger it gets. I learned that the hard way but I _finally_ understand it. Next time this happens…and it _will_ happen again…we won't be able to stop. It's only a matter of time. You know it and I know it." Jack said and letting go of her chin, he wiped the tears that had slipped out of her eyes at his words. Pressing a gentle, but purposeful kiss to her lips, he whispered a goodbye and opened the door to let himself out.

After the sound of Jack's car driving off signaled without a doubt that he was really gone, Carly stood with her forehead pressed against the door. Finally turning around, the chill of the wood against her bare back barely penetrated Carly's thoughts as she touched her fingertips to her lips, the lingering feel of Jack's kiss making them tingle.

Carly moved around the living room as if in a fog and after turning off the radio and lamp, she somehow made it to her bedroom. Undressing, washing up, then taking off her makeup was another process that Carly did in her small trance, finally wrapping herself in her bathrobe and she went back into the bedroom. She didn't even bother to lift the covers of her bed as she just dropped on top of the comforter. Jack's words echoed in her mind as she covered herself with the thick chenille blanket at the end of the bed and closed her eyes, both physical and emotional exhaustion taking their toll.

_Next time this happens…and it will happen again…we won't be able to stop. It's only a matter of time._

The fact that deep down she knew he was right and that she had said similar things to him over the years and they had always proved true, was enough to keep Carly's mind racing for a long time to come despite her fatigue. And just as the first rays of sunlight entered her room, as her eyes finally drifted closed, it was Jack's face and his touch that accompanied her in her dreams.


	24. AIM Is The Way To Go

**Author's Note: Thank you guys so much for the amazing reviews! I can't believe you liked that last chapter so much. It makes me feel a LOT better. This chapter is just a light fun one before we jump head first into more CarJack angst...enjoy it while it lasts! LOL**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks."  
__-Unknown_  
************************************************************************

BarbieGrlOZ (1:13:20 PM): Hey Yank, you around?

Auto Response from ParkIt115950 (1:13:20 PM): _Here. Chillin. Hit the cell._

BarbieGrlOZ (1:13:27 PM): YANK! Get off ur lazy ass and IM me back.

ParkIt115950 (1:13: 40 PM): Hey, what's up?

BarbieGrlOZ (1:13:48 PM): Oh good, ur there.

ParkIt115950 (1:13:54 PM): Where else would I be? I think my mom is still unconscious from last night & my dad's cell is goin straight to vmail (meaning he forgot to charge it…again)

ParkIt115950 (1:13:56 PM): J.J. and I had to make our own damn breakfast this morning. And lunch!

ParkIt115950 (1:13:58PM): At least the runt is still at the farm from her stupid sleepover.

BarbieGrlOZ (1:14:00 PM): Oh boo hoo! The boyz had to fend for themselves. *eye roll*

BarbieGrlOZ (1:14:04 PM): And don't call ur sister a runt!

ParkIt115950 (1:14:12 PM): Fine, next time I'll make you eat the crap that J.J. comes up with in the kitchen.

BarbieGrlOZ (1:14:15 PM): Haha, soooooo don't think so, Yank. I like living, thank you!

ParkIt115950 (1:14:17 PM): LOL. Tru story.

ParkIt115950 (1:14:19 PM): I wonder what's up with my mom tho. She NEVER sleeps this late. Maybe she's sick…

BarbieGrlOZ (1:14:24 PM): Um, or it could be that she threw an awesome New Years Eve/ b-day party last nite and didn't come home til the freakin crack of dawn. LOL duh

BarbieGrlOZ (1:14:27 PM): Uncle Lee is still passed out too. He didn't get home until like 7AM. I'm pretty sure he's going to be out the rest of the day.

BarbieGrlOZ (1:14:29 PM): At least he's not on call. I think.

BarbieGrlOZ (1:14:38 PM): Hey, how do you turn off the timestamp in AIM again? It's getting freakin annoying.

ParkIt115950 (1:14:43 PM): Just hit F2, drongo.

BarbieGrlOZ: Oh. Much better. Thanks, luv.

BarbieGrlOZ: And stop using Strine when you talk to me. Itz just weird. LOL

ParkIt115950: LOL no prob....drongo!

BarbieGrlOZ: LOL, jerk.

ParkIt115950: LOL

ParkIt115950: So can you come over today?

BarbieGrlOZ: Nah, I don't think so. Unk's mad cause I forgot to do chores before the party last nite. Lame, I know.

ParkIt115950: Damn. What about the mall tomorrow? Itz our last weekday of freedom before we go back to the dungeon on Monday.

BarbieGrlOZ: Who's goin?

ParkIt115950: Hoff, Liz, Kicks, Kyla, and Jersey, so far. I think we're gonna see a movie too.

BarbieGrlOZ: Yeah, that shouldn't be a prob. I'll ask the parental unit when he looks like he's alive again.

BarbieGrlOZ: LOL

ParkIt115950: Good plan. lol

ParkIt115950: Speakin of parents, you wanna know sumthin weird?

BarbieGrlOZ: Shoot.

ParkIt115950: I coulda sworn I heard my dad last nite…this morning…whatever. Like when my mom came home.

BarbieGrlOZ: Really? Think he stayed over? Maybe that's why ur mom is so tired ;-)

ParkIt115950: Okay, gross! Thanks for that mental image, Oz.

BarbieGrlOZ: Haha, sorry. Couldn't resist. Go on.

ParkIt115950: N E way. I don't know if it was him. Tho everyone's been acting totally weird lately.

BarbieGrlOZ: More weird than normal? LOL

ParkIt115950: LOL good point. I dunno how to describe it. I think my dad might actually be trying to get my mom back instead of the other way around this time.

BarbieGrlOZ: Awesome!...or is it? Are you okay with that?

ParkIt115950: I dunno. Part of me is like "Oh god, here we go again" and the other part is seriously cool with it. It's been a long time since both of them were happy at the same time. And that usually only happens when they are together.

ParkIt115950: Plus, they tend to get off my ass when they r happy. LOL

BarbieGrlOZ: Nice. *eye roll* LOL

BarbieGrlOZ: Well, I hope they are then. I know Uncle Lee is tired of telling Carly to get back with ur dad already. LOL

ParkIt115950: Haha, I bet. I love how they think we have no idea what's goin on. Grownups are idiots.

ParkIt115950: So you think Lee will ever date someone here for real?

BarbieGrlOZ: *shrugs* I dunno. I don't really think he's thought about it much. He's too busy at the hospital.

BarbieGrlOZ: Not to mention guarding me like a Doberman. *sigh*

ParkIt115950: LOL, sux to be u

BarbieGrlOZ: Ha ha, very funny. Besides, who would I set him up with?

BarbieGrlOZ: Janet?

BarbieGrlOZ: LOL

ParkIt115950: LOL

ParkIt115950: Nah, she's too busy with that jackass Craig.

BarbieGrlOZ: Have you told your mom or dad that he's back yet?

ParkIt115950: Nah, not yet. I haven't actually seen him, but I don't think Liberty would lie about that. She seemed pretty pissed about it last nite.

BarbieGrlOZ: Speaking of Liberty…what the hell happened last nite? Are you guys back 2gether?

ParkIt115950: No.

BarbieGrlOZ: Hey, did you go deaf, dumb, and blind on me over there? You haven't said anything for like 5 mins since I mentioned the whole Liberty thing.

ParkIt115950: Sorry. J.J. wanted to borrow my new DS since he lost his. AGAIN.

ParkIt115950: Yeah, I don't wanna talk about the Liberty thing right now, k?

BarbieGrlOZ: You OK?

ParkIt115950: Yeah, fine. Just…I'll tell you later. We're good, but I don't think we're gonna date anytime soon.

BarbieGrlOZ: Okay…as long as you know that ur ass is gonna tell me everything eventually.

ParkIt115950: LOL. Yeah, I kno.

ParkIt115950: Crap, Mom woke up and by the loud yelling I think she saw the kitchen.

BarbieGrlOZ: Um, I know I'm gonna regret this, but wut exactly did you make for breakfast & lunch?

ParkIt115950: Breakfast was gonna be pancakes but we couldn't figure out the right amount of flour and eggs, so we said screw it and ended up eating PopTarts.

BarbieGrlOZ: LOL. And lunch?

ParkIt115950: J.J. saw this quesadilla recipe online and said we had all the ingredient, but I think we had the oven on too low or something cause it def did not look like the picture we printed.

BarbieGrlOZ: LOL. So what did you end up eating?

ParkIt115950: PB&J.

BarbieGrlOZ: LOL, ur hopeless

ParkIt115950: Don't knock it. It's the food of the Gods.

BarbieGrlOZ: And lemme guess, you didn't clean up so the kitchen now looks and smells like a Mexican bakery blew up? And not in a good way...

ParkIt115950: Pretty much.

BarbieGrlOZ: Haha, wayyyyyy to gooooo.

ParkIt115950: Shit, my mom's comin my way! g2g

BarbieGrlOZ: LOL, dead man typing. Call me later if she doesn't kill you!

ParkIt115950: Will do! Peace!

BarbieGrlOZ: Ciao!

Auto Response from ParkIt115950: _Finally turned 16 and still hiding from my mom so I don't get yelled at because of my idiot brother. Fan-freakin-tastic. Hit the cell._


	25. A Long Awaited But Hurtful Release

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace. The soul that knows it not, knows no release from little things; knows not the livid loneliness of fear."  
__-Amelia Earhart  
_************************************************************************

"Mom, you have to say yes!" Parker said as he entered the house, flinging his backpack to the floor and shaking off the snow. "Mom!"

Carly hurried into the living room brushing her hands on her pants, leaving streaks of flour.

"What? What is it?" Carly asked, looking him up and down with a mother's worried eye.

"What are you doing?" Parker asked, giving his mom a weird look.

"Your Aunt Emma gave Sage her peanut butter cookie recipe and we're trying it out." Carly said and sent him an indignant look at the snort of laughter he let out. "Look, young man. Just because you are 16 now doesn't mean you're all that. I brought you into this world and I can take you out!"

Parker gave her a smirk at the clichéd parental saying. Then crossing his arms he tilted his head, saying "Technically didn't Dad and Dr. Dixon bring me into the world?"

Carly narrowed her eyes at his smartass reply but her lips twitched in a smile. She couldn't help it if he was right. He had grown up with the story of how Jack had helped deliver him all his life and now that endearing story had come back to bite Carly on the ass.

"Okay, okay." Carly said and rolled her eyes. "What did you want earlier?"

"Oh yeah!" Parker said, having temporarily forgotten what he was going to tell her. "When Lee calls, you have to say yes."

"When Lee calls? Say yes to what?" Carly asked, looking at him in confusion.

"Mommy, the oven is beeping. I think it's done pre-heating." Sage said coming from the kitchen, her own hands lightly dusted with flour.

"Um, okay, then I think we need to…" Carly said turning to Sage but a loud thundering on the stairs stopped her.

"Hey Mom, can I run over to Matt's house and see if I can borrow his Ninja Masters?" J.J. asked, jumping the last two stairs to land near where Parker stood.

Carly gave him a stern look and he sent a sheepish apologetic one back before tilting his head, waiting for an answer.

"J.J., you just got three new games for your Xbox for Christmas. Don't tell me you beat them already." Carly asked, placing her hands on her hips.

"No, but I just found this awesome cheat online about how to become invisible and I want to try it out." J.J. said and Carly frowned.

"Mommy, the cookies!" Sage said, stomping her foot slightly in impatience.

"Mom, are you even listening to me?" Parker asked and Carly turned to look at him again.

"I'm sorry, Parker. What did you want?"

"When Lee calls, you have to say yes. Promise!" Parker said and Sage looked over at her older brother.

"Are Lee and Mattie coming over?" She asked excitedly. "Mattie said she was going to teach me how to do a friendship bracelet with the kit she got me for Christmas."

"Oh you can ask Lee about the whole racing stripe thing you saw for Sheila." J.J. said to Parker who rolled his eyes.

"I would but he's not coming over, Moron. He's calling Mom and I was just telling her…" Parker started to say but J.J. interrupted.

"Hey, don't call me moron, Jerk. I was just trying to help." J.J. said and glared at Parker.

"Come on! Stop fighting!" Sage cried, stomping her foot harder this time.

"Well I wouldn't have to call you anything if you just let me finish!" Parker started to yell back at J.J., but a sharp piercing whistle stopped all talk.

Carly stood there, her fingers still in her mouth, and glared at her sons.

"Enough!" Carly said firmly and sighed. "Look, I know that you were supposed to start school again on Monday and while we are all getting a little stir crazy, we just need to take a breath. The school will get the water pipes fixed, clean up the mess that they caused when they burst and will just open a little later than we thought. But until then, I need you to work with me here, okay?"

"Mom, the fact that we get an extra week or two of school off is perfect. That's why you have to tell Lee that we'll go!" Parker said and Carly shook her head.

"Parker, what are you talking about?" She asked and as if on cue, the phone began to ring. She reached for it and seeing Lee's name on the caller ID she sent a raised eyebrow in Parker's direction.

"Just say yes." He said and sat down on the couch, looking at her expectantly. J.J. and Sage's curiosity got the better of them and they joined Parker on the sofa.

"Hey, Lee." Carly said, finally answering the phone.

"Hey, Luv. You heard about what happened at the high school?" Lee asked and she sighed.

"Yeah, this morning. I just can't believe the state board is insisting on making all of the schools in the district stay closed until they're cleared." Carly said and smiled at Lee's chuckle.

"I bet the kids are ecstatic. I know Mattie is, despite all the griping about extra homework." Lee said.

"Yeah, well, if my kids keep up the way they have been today, I might just say forget it and send them all to boarding school." Carly said, looking pointedly at her children. All three just rolled their eyes at her and she sighed again, focusing on Lee's words.

"Who are you kidding, darling? You would shoot off your own foot before sending any of your kids away to school." Lee laughed, shaking his head. He had only known her a short time, but even he understood what a ludicrous idea it was.

"Hm, well…" Carly said, trying not to smile as well. Then Parker's words came back to her and she frowned. "Hey, Lee, what exactly am I supposed to say yes to?"

"What?" Lee asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.

"I don't know. My son comes in from hanging out with some friends at the mall, including your niece, and orders me to say yes to something." Carly said, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Ah, I see someone had hard time keeping good news to herself." Lee said, sending a glance Mattie's way, who froze in her position of eavesdropping in the doorway to his home office.

Knowing she was caught, she sent him a cheeky smile and wiggled her fingers hello. Lee rolled his eyes and sighed, waving her in to sit on the black leather couch that took up his far wall. She bounced in and flopped down, pulling her legs under her and watching him with an eager face.

"Okay, so here's the deal, Luv." Lee started and then proceeded to ramble. "I was just invited to be a key note speaker at a pretty prestigious medical convention, but the convention starts on Monday. I'm taking Mattie with me because, well, as you know Mattie's birthday is on the 16th, so I figured it was a pretty cool birthday gift and a way to keep her occupied with this whole school not opening on time thing. And she's always wanted to go and it's a great opportunity but then I realized that she is probably going to be incredibly bored by herself most of the time and…we were wondering if you wanted to join us. All of you."

"Wait, Lee, slow down. Medical convention? Where? In Chicago?" Carly asked and taking a look at her kids, who had been whispering on the couch she was startled by the excited faces looking back at her. They had been to Chicago plenty of times. Why were they so eager to go now?

"Well, no, not Chicago. Um, it's actually in…Los Angeles." Lee said and pulled the phone away from his ear as Carly echoed the city loudly.

"Los Angeles? As in California? Are you crazy?" Carly exclaimed. "You are inviting us to L.A. to a convention that starts in two days?"

"Um, yes?" Lee said hesitatingly.

"Lee, what about the hotel? We can't all stay in one room. And flight? There is no way we'd possibly get one now. It'd have to be tomorrow! And work? What am I supposed to do about Metro? Oh God, their clothes! Their spring and summer clothes are all the way in the attic." Carly started to list all the things that could cause a problem, even the inane ones.

"The convention is taking place at the Center Plaza, which is already a Hyatt. They have offered as many rooms as I needed. I figured on two, one for the girls and one for the boys. Plus, they are paying the airfare. There's a flight at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning and we'll catch the return flight on Friday at noon and be back by dinner time."

"But," Carly tried to interject but Lee just kept on going.

"After all the work you put in for New Year's Eve, I'm sure Henry can handle the down time for a week. As for clothes, just make Parker and J.J. carry the stuff down for you. It's still pretty cool over in LA so spring clothes are probably fine. Maybe a bathing suit or two for the hotel pool." Lee finished, sharing a conspirator look with Mattie who giggled behind her hand. Apparently all the arguments that they had written down and guessed that Carly would use were correct.

"Wow, you though of everything didn't you?" Carly said running a hand through her curls, not realizing that she had left a small trail of flour until the kids started to snicker on the couch. Looking at her hand and then the suddenly innocent faces of her children, she rolled her eyes and focused back on Lee.

"Look, darling. You want the truth?" Lee said and turned away from where Mattie was now watching him curiously. "I saw you the days following Christmas and then with everything you told me that happened on New Year's Eve with Jack. You are tearing yourself up inside and it has to stop. We both know what you really want and I think that if you give yourself some time away from Oakdale to clear your head you'll finally admit it."

"Lee," Carly said, closing her eyes against his words.

"Okay, how about this argument, you stubborn pain in my ass? Doesn't your cousin Molly live about 45 minutes from L.A.? Wouldn't it be nice to see her and her daughter, um, what was her name?"

"Abigail." Carly said and she smiled at the thought of seeing her "Cuz", who was really more like another sister. And she was dying to meet this new boyfriend of Abby's and give him the "Carly Tenney third degree".

She glanced over at the three on the couch, who were poised on the edge, listening to every word she said.

"What hotel did you say it was at?" Carly asked and bit her lip.

"It's at the Hyatt Regency Center Plaza. It's actually one of the nicest hotels in LA." Lee said, looking over the information on his desk.

"Isn't that some kind of oxymoron?" Carly muttered and then sighed. "Okay, let me just check with Jack and I'll call you back in a little while."

"I'll set up the plane tickets and rooms." Lee said, grinning at the obvious agreement he heard in Carly's voice, however subdued she tried to make it sound. Then he looked over at Mattie and winked. The young teenaged girl squealed and leapt off the couch, pausing to kiss his cheek before darting out the door. Lee didn't have to guess that Parker was probably getting a phone call even as Lee sat here on the phone with his mother.

Carly just laughed and saying goodbye, hung up the phone. Looking over at her kids she sighed again.

"So who's up for a trip to L.A?"

It was a good thing that Carly was used to having chaos in her house because the reaction her words caused would have normally scared a zoo keeper. All three kids started yelling and jumping around like lunatics, talking at once.

Mid-chaos Parker somehow managed to answer his ringing cell phone and was now talking animatedly to Mattie. Sage was hanging onto Carly's waist, talking up at her about all the fun things that they could do in LA while J.J. was already on Carly's nearby laptop, looking up and calling out the best places to surf around LA.

Finally, the sound of the doorbell broke through the other noise and Carly made her way to the door, with Sage still latched on to her waist, giggling like crazy. Carly started laughing too as she swung the door open and then choked mid-chuckle at the sight of Jack standing on their doorstep.

"Hi, did I interrupt something?" Jack asked, looking past them into the house and taking in Parker pacing on the phone while J.J. continued to yell out random beach locations.

As Carly's brain immediately flashed back to the end of New Year's Eve and the words that followed it, she felt her face getting flush. For the life of her she couldn't remember her own name as she took in Jack with his wind tousled hair and warm brown eyes. Jack couldn't tear his eyes away from Carly's blue gaze, which seemed to sparkle more in the mid-afternoon sun than he had seen it in a while. The backpack belonging to J.J. hung loosely in his hand, completely forgotten.

"Daddy, guess what? Lee is taking us to LA with him!" Sage's excited voice was like a bucket of ice cold water being dumped on them both.

Jack's eyes slowly traveled down to Sage's face and then back to Carly's. The warmth that had been there moments ago was now gone and a growing build of anger and suspicion was replacing it.

"You're what?" Jack asked a definite edge to his voice.

"Guys, can you go upstairs and let me talk to your dad about everything?" Carly asked, surprised to find her voice steady despite the trembling starting in her limbs.

"Mom?" J.J.'s voice said softly, his eyes darting back and forth from Carly's pale face to the tick in Jack's jaw line.

"Didn't you say you were going to finally show Sage how to beat level 8 in the Mario Brothers game?" Carly said and smiled at him, sending him reassurances with her eyes. Their middle son was much more sensitive than he liked to let on about their fighting. This was not surprising the way his birth parents volatile situation effected him the way it did when he was a small child.

"Yeah, come on, Shorty. I'll even show you where the star blocks are hidden." J.J. said and waved at her.

Sage just frowned, her grip tightening on Carly's waist instead of loosening.

"Go ahead, Sweetie. I want to hear all about how you kicked their butts later okay?" Carly said and Sage bit her lip, her own eyes looking over at Jack.

"Me too, Princess. I'll might even play winner. Go ahead; go with your brothers." Jack said and tweaked her nose.

Sage rolled her eyes and proceeded to stomp lightly up the stairs, mutterings about not being a baby under her breath. J.J. followed closely behind as did Parker who threw glances at them while still whispering into the phone.

As soon as they were out of sight, Carly held up a hand to stop what ever speech was about to leave Jack's mouth.

"I don't want to fight with you, Jack." Carly said and looked him in the eyes. "It was a last minute trip and people who invited Lee are nice enough to cover hotel and airfare for us too, if we want to go. The kids don't have school because of the ice build up making the pipes burst and they are really excited. I'm sorry I didn't have a chance to ask you about it, but I was just about to call you. Honestly."

Jack had stayed silent through this entire mini-rant and now he sighed.

"Carly, calm down. Yeah, I'm not thrilled that Lee asked you last second but the kids are obviously happy to go and if I say no, I'll look like the biggest jerk in the universe."

"Jack, don't be ridiculous. Those kids adore you. You're never the bad guy, remember?" Carly said, some of the bitterness from the last few years unintentionally seeping into her voice.

"Um, were you not there just a couple months ago when I was engaged to Janet?" Jack scoffed. "I certainly wasn't anyone's hero then."

"Oh please." Carly said and rolled her eyes. "They would have gotten over it and you know it."

"Would you have?" Jack said, causing Carly to still. Reaching out, he tucked a stray blonde curl behind Carly's ear and let his finger trail down her cheek. "Tell me the truth, Carly. Would you have gotten over me marrying Janet?"

Carly was silent for a few moments and then shook her head lightly.

"I don't know, Jack."

Then she tilted her chin and her eyes took on that set stubborn look that she always got when she went into self-preservation mode.

"But I'm sure once Lee came around, I would have been fine."

Jack's reaction to her words startled her, because instead of looking angry he just laughed.

"What's so damn funny?" Carly asked, her ire rising. "Lee is an amazing man."

"That's not the point, Carly." Jack said and stepping closer to her, he reached out and took one of her hands in his.

He placed her hand so that her fingertips were gently touching his temple and said, "We're together here."

Then he lowered their hands so that they rested on his chest, the soft thump of his heart now in the center of her palm. "And we're together here."

Jack looked deep into Carly's blue eyes and smiled softly at her. "We're in each other's souls, Carly. And no one, not even someone as great as the all mighty Lee Reynolds, can change that."

Carly felt herself getting lost in Jack's gaze, letting the comforting rhythm of his heartbeat come in sync with hers. That was until the pain and the anger that she had been holding onto for the past several months, hell the past several years, bubbled to the surface. Yanking her hand away, she took a step back from a very startled Jack.

"Who the _hell _do you think you are?" She said, her voice trembling. Jack's eyes widened and she shook her head, obviously her question a rhetoric one.

"Two and a half years." Carly said, her eyes flashing. She wanted to quit talking but she couldn't. Something deep inside of her had finally broken loose and she didn't know how to stop.

"Two and a half goddamn years, Jack. That's how long we have been officially divorced. Lord knows I tried to move on and yes, I agree that Simon wasn't the greatest decision of my life and I know that now. But this is exactly like it was back then. Just when I think I can move on, just when I think I can finally fall asleep without you lying next to me every night in bed and kissing me awake every morning, _you_ suddenly remember this 'great love' that you have for me. You say sweet words and state claims about how no man will ever love me the way you do."

Carly stepped forward and pointed a finger at him, inches away from his chest.

"Where was this great love when I came back from hiding with Simon, something you told me to do in the first place? Where was this great love you have for me when we got our son back from his kidnappers and you saved my life? When you pulled me from the quicksand, Jack, and held me in your arms I thought that everything was going to be okay. That you finally understood what it was like to go that extra mile to protect someone you loved more than your own life, the way I always tried to protect and help you. Maybe it wasn't always the best way, but I can't help it when it comes to our family. If someone or something threatens them, I don't think. I react. I've had too or else everything gets ripped away from me before I have a chance to really appreciate it. Yet, in the end, you still went back to Katie."

Jack opened his mouth to say something but Carly was too far gone to truly see or hear him.

"Where was this great love when I tried to tell you the truth about my misdiagnosis and how scared I was that I would lose you when you found out that I wasn't really dying? Do you know what it's like to feel that the person you have given your entire soul to, is only with you out of pity? That's why I had to tell you the truth on our wedding day, Jack. Not because Brad or Katie was threatening to tell you first, but because I couldn't stand the idea of you standing at that alter and telling me you loved me all the while not meaning it as much as I did."

Carly shook her head and said, "What about after we worked together to save Parker and the closeness we had afterwards? It was you who pushed me away, Jack, not the other way around. 'Carly, last night was a mistake.' Those were the words you used to greet me that day when I was stupid enough to believe that everything had changed."

At Jack's look she laughed scornfully. "Don't look so shocked, Jack. I remember everything about that morning. And I remember it because every word that you said was like a knife in my gut. But you only remember the pain that _you_ felt, don't you Jack? The agony that _you_ went through having to make that decision to keep me at arm's length. Well, guess what, Jack? I grew stronger and I found my own solid ground again, but you…you just can't let me be _me_."

Carly shook her head again and frowned up at him.

"You want to know what that last straw was, Jack? It was that final day where we almost made love but got interrupted. Do you remember? The day I asked you to finally choose between me and Janet? Despite the words that you professed in the boat after escaping from Stenbeck or the things you said you meant in the hospital, you chose to go after_ her_, Jack."

"I told you I wanted to be with you, Carly." Jack finally got a word in but the look of disdain she sent him stopped him cold.

"What twice, maybe three times, Jack? I told you I was scared and that pathetic display of showing me how much you 'really wanted me back' was not enough to allay those fears. How many times have I begged you; cried until I couldn't catch my breath; told you that if you only believed that we could make it work _together,_ that it would be different. And the one time that I needed you to fight for me, to show me that you felt that by finally believing in us, like you said you did, we could really stay together for the rest of our lives? You chased after _her_!"

"Bob and Kim Hughes are almost at 24 years of marriage; Tom and Margo are already at 26. They've all had their problems, lord knows, but somehow they just seem to get better over time. _That's_ what I wanted for us; that legacy of love. But you just never saw the same vision and in the end you, and you alone, chose the path you're on now. I didn't make that decision for you. You are a grown man and fully capable of making your own mistakes, just like I am capable of making mine."

Carly gestured between them, the amount of pain in her eyes ripping at Jack's soul. "And this…this would be a mistake."

Carly's voice cracked and Jack felt a tightness in his throat as he finally realized what had been happening to Carly over the past few years. It had been so easy for him to place the blame from their problems on her shoulders. But the truth was that there had been plenty of opportunities to rectify the damage that had been done and to move on, but he just hadn't been willing to compromise. And the trembling woman in front of him, who had tried so many times to stay strong only for him to come knock down her walls like a bulldozer, was proof enough of what his stubbornness had cost them both.

"Carly…" Jack finally managed to say but he trailed off, knowing that everything she said was true.

"I meant what I said when I told you that I would never love another person the way that I love you. But Lee is a good man, Jack." Carly said, bringing her outburst to a close. She knew that even though she wasn't really dating Lee, she had to let Jack know that she was serious about not being able to risk her heart again. Maybe now, after finally telling him how much he had hurt her over the years, he would finally understand. "Maybe you should go."

Jack just nodded, the tears burning his eyes and throat causing him to swallow hard.

"Tell the kids, I'll call them tonight to say goodbye. Have a good flight." Jack said, the words sounding trivial even to him as he spoke them aloud.

"Thank you." Carly whispered and followed him to the door.

Just as she opened it to let him out, he turned to her. The look in his eyes was more sincere than Carly thought she had ever seen it.

"I'm sorry, Carly. I never…God, I _never_ wanted to hurt you. I love you."

Carly's eyes watered and she gave him a small smile.

"I know. I love you too." She said and brushed a hand over his cheek. He leaned into her touch for a moment, causing both of them to close their eyes and remember what it was like back before the war between them had truly begun.

Then there was nothing but cold air in her palm and he was gone. An immense exhaustion flowed through her veins, the likes of which Carly didn't even know existed. As cathartic as that release to Jack had been, it had left a hole in her; one that she didn't think she'd ever be able to fill.

Then as the sound of Sage's laughter and the groans of J.J. and Parker flowed to her ears, Carly felt her heart expand just that much more.

"They are the best of us, Jack." Carly said out loud, a stray tear slipping down her cheek. "And loving and protecting them with everything I have will be enough."

But even as Carly went to go call her children to get ready to pack for LA, a nagging series of thoughts pestered at her

What happened when those beautiful children went to lead lives of their own? Would it be enough then? Or once again would Carly be left with lingering dreams of how things could have been?


	26. Beer, Buddies, and A Needed Wake Up Call

**Author's Note: Sorry, guys. Real life is threatening to take over. I'm trying to stay in real time with my updates but this week might get a little crazy so bear with me. Enjoy as always! ~ JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

_Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.  
__~Benjamin Franklin  
_***********************************************************************

As Jack kicked a rock that was barely hidden by the melting layer of snow, he couldn't help but glance at his watch again. Carly and the kids would be touching down in sunny LA within the next hour.

_'And we can't forget the beautifully perfect Doctor Lee.' _Jack scowled and he kicked harder at another rock. This one proved to be one of the large decorative rocks lining the pathway of the sidewalk in Old Town and Jack bit back a curse as all he got for his efforts was a very sore big toe. As he glared down at the rock, he heard a voice that he thought would only be in his nightmares.

"Hey Jack, you keep that look on your face and it might just freeze that way."

Jack's eyes traveled slowly from the ground up to land on the smug face of Craig Montgomery.

"I heard rumor you were back, Craig. So which one of these did you crawl out from under?" Jack asked, his eyes narrowing even more as he gestured to the rocks on the pathway.

"Still haven't lost that amazing sense of humor, I see." Craig smirked and Jack's hands curled into fists at his side. Of all the people he really didn't want to see today, Craig Montgomery had to be at the top of his list.

"Hello, Jack."

As Jack turned to see Janet coming up to where he and Craig stood, he realized that his previous thought was wrong. Make Craig Montgomery the _second_ person on his list that he didn't want to see. In the month between this moment and when he had broken off the engagement, he hadn't seen Janet in more than a passing glimpse on the street. He still hated how badly he had hurt her, but in the end he stood by his decision that it wouldn't have worked out.

"Hey." Jack shifted and Craig was completely forgotten for the moment. "I, uh…Happy New Year."

Jack could have kicked himself the moment those words slipped out of his mouth, but to his surprise Janet just gave him a sad smile.

"It's not the way I pictured this year to start, that's for sure." Janet said and then shook her head, seemingly to clear whatever she was thinking about. "I don't want to fight with you, Jack. In fact, I really hope you find what you're looking for….even if it is with Carly."

"You mean that?" Jack asked, looking at her closely. Janet let out a laugh that was filled with something Jack didn't think he wanted to identify or else he'd feel like a bigger jackass than he already did.

"I think a small part of me does. The larger part kinda hopes that somehow you find yourself roasting over a large fire pit with an apple in your mouth but what're you gonna do, right?" Janet's eyes filled with a slight film of tears as she shrugged and again she shook her head, blinking rapidly.

"That's actually not a bad mental picture."

Jack's jaw ticked as Craig once again decided to pipe up and was about to turn and full on slug him but Janet's move stopped him in his tracks. Placing a hand on Craig's arm, she just looked up at him.

"I'm okay. Can we just go?" She asked, her warm brown eyes sending him a very definite signal.

Jack was frozen in his tracks as he watched Craig's face soften as he looked down at Janet and his shoulders relax. Not since Rosanna, had Jack seen someone calm Craig down so quickly. Not even Carly had ever had that effect on the annoying man.

"Janet, can I talk to you for a second?" Jack asked and at her look he sighed. "Please?"

She frowned but followed him when he took a couple steps away, enough so that Craig couldn't overhear them.

"Look, Janet, please don't get involved with this guy. He's been nothing but trouble to anyone he's ever had contact with and I don't want to see you…" Jack trailed off as he realized what he was about to say but Janet's eyes narrowed having picked up on his thoughts anyway.

"What, Jack? You don't want to see me what? Get hurt?" Janet asked scornfully and Jack had the decency to look embarrassed. She moved to step away but Jack reached out and took her arm; not hard enough to hurt her but enough to make her pause.

"Janet, you can hate me all you want. I don't blame you. But please just think twice about this. He's a dangerous man no matter what lies he has been telling you." Jack tried to plead with her.

"Jack, I'm going to say this once and only once." Janet said, her eyes glinting in the stubborn way that he had seen so many times before. "You lost the right…no, you lost _any _right at all to _any_ decision in my life about a month ago. Craig Montgomery might not be a candidate for a person of the year award but he made me smile during a time when I needed to desperately. So you know what? Back…off."

With that, Janet turned on her heel and strode to where Craig had been watching unabashedly. She reached out a hand and placing his into it he let her, basically, drag him away. Before they disappeared around the corner, Craig threw an arrogant grin over his shoulder and with his other hand wiggled his fingers goodbye at Jack.

Jack watched them go, the tick in his jaw threatening to become a full on twitch. Catching a movement out the corner of his eye, he turned to see his reflection off of a store window. He stared hard at his image for a moment before nodding.

"I need a drink."

Ten minutes later he was seated at Yo's Bar and already finishing his first beer. Sensing a movement to his right he wasn't completely surprised when an arm slung over his shoulder and a familiar voice spoke up.

"Wow, Big Brother. Starting a little early, aren't we?" Brad said and Jack gave him a half-grin, half-sneer as he tried to ignore him.

"Nah, it's never too early for a good beer right, Jack?" Holden said from Jack's left and put three fingers up, ordering the next round.

"What? Are you guys tag teaming me now?" Jack asked, looking at his cousin and then brother quizzically.

"Nope, we were just in the neighborhood and decided to stop in for a couple of drinks. Maybe stick around to watch the first game of the day." Brad said and Holden snorted.

"Wrong! _You_ got us kicked out of your house." Holden said handing his credit card to Joe, the bartender, and passing out the fresh beers. Jack looked at Brad with raised eyebrows and Brad rolled his eyes.

"Lily and Holden came over to help paint the office which is going to be the new nursery. I don't know anything about Sunshine Yellow versus Daisy Yellow. So I tried to help the only way I knew how and got yelled at for it!"

"You put a _hole_ in the wall!" Holden said, his eyes widening at Brad's lacking recap.

"She said she wanted shelves! How was I to know that the plaster wasn't as thick there?" Brad said, holding his beer out in a helpless gesture.

"Brad, it wasn't even where Katie wanted the shelves to go! She even had a drawn up design for you to follow! It was practically a paint by numbers!" Holden said, shaking his head in exasperation.

At this, Jack couldn't hold it in anymore and burst out laughing with Holden quickly joining him. Brad watched them in a huff and then frowned, taking a swig of beer.

"Yeah, laugh it up. None of this would have happened if Lily and Katie had just waited until Carly came back from gallivanting in LA. It was her design anyway." Brad said and Jack's laughter died in his throat. His eyes narrowed and he quickly drained the beer that Holden had bought him, motioning to order another round. Holden and Brad's eyes met and they nodded to each other.

"Hm, by your less than subtle reaction can we assume that this early afternoon drink fest has something to do with Carly and the kids being in California with the handsome doctor?" Brad said and Jack turned a death glare on his younger brother.

"_Shut_…_up_." Jack growled and, nodding his thanks to Joe, picked up the new beer in front of him.

"Look, dude, they'll be back in four days. What damage can he do in four days? She's loved you for more years of her life than should be allowed." Holden asked and Jack turned a wry look on his cousin.

"After everything she told me yesterday, I'm surprised she even still speaks to me." Jack said and at their confused looks he gave a rundown on what had happened between him and Carly. The confusion melted away into wide-eyes and eerily similar looks of pity.

"Wow, man. She gave it to you with both barrels, didn't she?" Holden said, whistling low under his breath.

"And an Uzi for good measure." Brad added causing both Holden and Jack to give him a weird look, which he returned with a shrug. "What? It seemed appropriate."

Shaking his head, Jack stared at the condensation forming on his bottle of Budweiser. "I had no idea how far apart Carly and I had drifted over the past couple of years. And now, just when I realize that I want it to work with her more than I've wanted anything in my life, I've lost her."

Sighing and going to take another sip of beer he added, "And there's nothing I can do about it."

Brad and Holden were silent for a moment then both of them reached out to thump Jack across the back of the head.

"What in the goddamn hell is the matter with you?" Brad exclaimed.

"That is the _dumbest _thing I think I've ever heard you say." Holden said simultaneously.

"Hey!" Jack yelled back, rubbing the back of his head and glaring at the two men glaring right back at him.

"Jack you are a bigger dumbass that I thought you were if you think you couldn't win Carly back from Lee in a heartbeat." Brad said and Holden nodded in agreement.

"Everyone in this town knows that when you and Carly decide that you are going to fight for each other, that it's just best to stay out the way until the dust settles." Holden said and Jack frowned in thought. Holden could see that they were getting to him and kept going. "There's more history between you and Carly than most high school text books. Maybe it's time you stepped up your game and reminded her of the reasons you two fell in love in the first place."

"Which time?" Jack said, not being able to help the smile that went across his face at his own words.

"All of them!" Brad said firmly.

Jack stared down at his hands holding his beer and let his thoughts drift back over the years. Suddenly his eyes took on a sparkle and he nodded decisively.

"You know what? You're right." Jack said. "When Carly gets back from LA, I'm going to show her that there are just some things you can't hide from."

Jack raised his beer bottle in the air and grinned. "Boys, the G-man...is back!"

Brad and Holden grinned too and clinked their bottles with his. Brad nodded and said what both he and Holden were thinking.

"It's about damn time, Bro. It's about _damn_ time!"


	27. Happy Reunions and First Impressions

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Don't be over self-confident with your first impressions of people."  
-Chinese Proverbs  
_************************************************************************

Carly awoke the sound of silence and sat up groggily in the bed. After a few moments of disorientation, she remembered where she was.

Looking over at the other king bed in the Los Angeles hotel room, she frowned upon noticing it was empty. The large flat screen TV that she, Sage, and Mattie had fallen asleep to was now turned off and a note was stuck to its frame.

Carly half tumbled out of bed and with bleary eyes took in the fact that the girls hadn't wanted to wake her when they got up so they had gone across the hall to the boys' room for breakfast and TV. Putting the note down with a half smile, Carly glanced at the clock. Surprised to see that it was almost quarter after ten in the morning, her half smile disappeared.

Lee would have been down at the convention for at least an hour and a half already and God only knew when the kids had gotten up. With her average morning starting around seven thirty or eight, Carly couldn't believe she had overslept. Oakdale was only two hours difference from LA, not to mention they had gone to bed at a decent hour since they had gotten up so early on Sunday to catch their flight, so Carly knew that it couldn't be jet lag.

"Oh, I don't know, Carly. It could be those persistent and very vivid dreams of Jack that you have every night." She muttered to herself and then winced as she realized that she was talking out loud in an empty room.

Running a hand through her sleep tousled curls she picked up the room phone to dial across the hall. It might have been lazy but it was better than leaving the room and risking someone seeing her in her current bed-headed state.

"Hello?" Parker's voice came over the line.

"Morning, honey. I'm sorry I slept so late."

"It's cool, Mom. We were just finishing up breakfast and then Sage was gonna come wake you up anyway." Parker said, catching a grape that Mattie sent his way. He covered a laugh when J.J. did the same to Sage, only for it to bounce off her forehead.

Carly could hear the laughter in the background and decided that she really didn't want to know what mischief the kids were getting into. As long as the hotel was still standing at the end of the day she was good.

"Well thanks, but I'm awake now. Or should I say, I will be once I hop in the shower. Can you guys hold down the fort for a little while longer?"

"Sure, no problem. Do you want me to order you room service? It would probably be there by the time you're done in the shower." Parker asked and Carly couldn't help but smile. Her son could be the typical pain in the ass teenager but then sometimes he reminded her so much of his father, both biological and adoptive, that it warmed her heart.

"Thanks, Baby, that'd be great. Just some hot coffee and maybe a muffin, okay?" Carly said. "I'm not that hungry this morning."

"Are you feeling okay? Mattie said you were tossing and turning all night." Parker asked, unease lacing his voice.

Carly flushed and shook her head, even though Parker couldn't see her. "No, I'm fine. Just not used to these hotel beds."

As she reassured her son one more time, Carly knew that since his original concern had been appeased that this second round was more due to the worry that their plans to hit the beach would be derailed. Even though both Lee and Carly had pointed out last night that the weather wasn't going to be warm enough to go in the ocean, all four kids had demanded at least going for the half the day to relax on the sand. The rest week would be spent shopping and checking out some of L.A.'s tourist attractions.

Carly was just finishing up blow drying the curling mouse into her curls so they would set, when there was a loud knock at the door. Grabbing the couple of dollars that Carly had set aside for tipping the room service bearer, she hurried to the door.

"Perfect timing!" She said as she threw it open and stopped dead in her tracks.

"As always!" Molly replied, flinging her arms out to the side and striking a pose.

Carly just stared at her, her emotions completely overwhelming her.

"Well, aren't you going to invite your wonderful cousin inside?" Molly asked and Carly snapped out of her trance. Grabbing Molly she immediately pulled her into a huge hug, her entire body trembling.

Molly was now also at a total loss for words, hugging her cousin as tightly as the blonde woman was hugging her. When Carly had bonded with Rosanna and then Gwen, Molly had admittedly been extremely jealous. But deep down she knew that no matter how many long lost sisters Carly found or how many miles away Molly moved that there was a bond between the two cousins that defied logic. It was almost a twin like connection with Molly knowing almost every time that Carly was in trouble or hurting and vice versa. They might not have always been there physically to alleviate the situation but the knowledge that each other existed was sometimes enough.

Finally Carly let go and took a step back, furiously wiping the tears from her face. Molly did the same and looking at Carly she let out a laugh.

"Wow, we're a pair." She said and Carly laughed loudly too. Molly's chuckles trailed off and she turned a probing eye on her cousin.

"Something's different, Cuz. I can't put my finger on it…" Molly said then trailed off again, waving a hand. "It doesn't matter. I'll figure it out."

Carly just gave her a weird look before noticing a young blonde haired man standing in the doorway that they had forgotten to close in their excitement. She accepted the room service cart and gave him the tip she held in her hand. About to close the door, she stopped as the one across the hall opened and the kids poured out of it. They were all dressed for the day, happily clad in some of their heavier summer clothing instead of "Eskimo"ed up as J.J. liked to put it.

"Hi, Mommy." Sage said, skipping over to where Carly stood and then squeezed by her into the room. The others followed before Carly had a chance to say anything about her guest. It ended up not being necessary as the kids did the honors for her.

"Molly!" Sage cried, grinning as Molly threw her arms open wide to accept the little girl's enthusiastic hug.

"Sweet!" J.J. exclaimed following suit and even Parker rushed forward to embrace their adult cousin. They might not have seen her much in the past couple of years but she had kept in touch as much as humanly possible. Not to mention she sent fantastic presents for birthdays and Christmas and this always made her a favorite.

"Molly, this is Mattie. She's Lee's niece and pretty much a staple at our house since they moved here." Carly said, tugging playfully on the young teen's long ponytail. Mattie wrinkled her nose at Carly before turning a bright smile to Molly and holding out her hand.

"Hello." She said, her green eyes sparkling.

"Hi. I've heard a lot about you. It's nice to finally put a face to the name. And a very pretty one at that." Molly said, shaking it and sending a sly glance to Parker. He blushed and shifted on his feet, making Carly raise an eyebrow at him which caused him blush harder.

"Hey, Moll, where's Abigail?" Carly asked, taking pity on her son and changing the subject.

"Oh, Abby had rounds at the hospital this morning so she and Brayden are going to meet us for lunch later." Molly said, hugging Sage close to her side and shaking her head at how fast Carly's kids seemed to have grown since the last time she saw them.

"She still enjoying her job?" Carly asked and shooed the kids to get their stuff together for the day while simultaneously sliding her own shoes on.

"Yeah. I mean, social work is a hard path to follow, but the kids really seem to open up to her and I know she feels like she's making a difference." Molly said, shrugging slightly. "Besides, Brayden makes sure that she gets out and enjoys herself every once in a while."

"So you like this boy of hers?" Carly asked. Noticing all four of the kids were now bouncing on their toes by the door, she rolled her eyes and motioned that she and Molly were right behind them. After making sure there were room keys all around, they headed to the elevators.

"Yeah, I do. I mean, she's getting older and I think she's really in love with this one. They've been seeing each other for over a year and half now." Molly answered Carly's question as they stepped into the elevator.

"You think there are wedding bells in the future?" Carly asked, smoothing a hand over Sage's head as the girl nestled into her side. She loved how, even at almost eleven, Sage was still an affectionate child. Carly knew that she only had a few more years before that was shot to hell in typical teenaged girl drama.

"Oh please, don't even joke like that. I'm nowhere near ready to let her go that much." Molly laughed and the elevator jerked slightly as it stopped to open on the lobby floor. She shot a glance at her cousin's suddenly pale face and frowned. "You okay?"

Carly shook her head and gave a shaky smile. "Yeah, I forgot to eat this morning after your crazy arrival. Plus, I'm not a huge fan of elevators anyway. You know that."

Molly nodded and put a hand on her shoulder. "There's a Starbucks just around the corner. We'll grab you some coffee and a pastry before we catch a cab to the beach."

"Oh, coffee." Carly said, practically salivating. "Liquid of the gods."

"You are so weird sometimes." Molly said, laughing as they walked across the lobby.

"Oh, wait. Let me leave a note for Lee letting him know that we're with you." Carly said and headed towards the front desk.

"Molly, can we go look in the gift shop?" Sage asked, pointing to it in the nearby area.

"Sure, we'll come get you when your mom gets back." Molly said and the kids headed off, leaving Molly to wait.

She was looking into her purse for a stick of gum when someone slammed into her back, nearly knocking her off her feet. Molly pin wheeled for a moment, but strong hands reached out to steady her.

"I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying attention." A definite male voice washed over her and Molly looked up to glare into brilliant green eyes.

"No shit, Sherlock." Molly snapped and Lee drew back, startled by this stranger's caustic tone. He reached out to help her again, but she moved away from his touch. "Don't they teach you to look where you're going down there in the O.Z.?"

"Only when we're not distracted by beautiful women with sharp tongues." Lee answered only to have Molly roll her eyes at him.

"Oh Lord, spare me." Molly muttered, brushing some miniscule dust off of her designer jeans and smoothing her short hair back behind her ear. Catching sight of the medical packet in his hands she read the salutation of doctor but his large hand hid the rest of his name. She pointed to it and gave him a look.

"What? They don't provide enough people for you to treat at your hospital so you have to create hit and run patients?"

At her words, the warm and teasing sparkle in Lee's eyes disappeared to be replaced by a hard glint and a clenched jaw.

"Look, lady, I said I was sorry. What's your problem?"

Molly had obviously touched a nerve with something she said but before she could probe further, they were interrupted.

"Oh, Lee! I just left a message for you. I see you ran into my cousin, Molly." Carly said, coming up to them not realizing just how accurate her words really were.

"_This_ is your cousin?" Lee exclaimed just as Molly turned her own wide blue eyes in Carly's direction.

"_This_ is the fabulous Lee?"

Carly looked from one to the other and frowned. "Did I miss something here?"

Neither Lee nor Molly chose to answer her, just looked at each other for a split second, glaring, and then looked away again. Carly sent them both another glance but chose to ignore the tension as the kids wandered back over.

"Hey, Uncle Lee!" Mattie said and threw her arms around his waist.

"Hey, Sunshine." Lee said, hugging her back. Molly was surprised to see how much he changed in the presence of his niece. His face brightened and relaxed, with his green eyes sparkling again as he beamed down at the young girl. No matter what other opinions Molly had formed of him during their brief interaction, it was obvious that his ward was the center of his universe.

"I'm glad we ran into you before we left." Mattie said and Lee laughed.

"Yeah, because you saw that I took my wallet with me this morning!"

"Uncle Lee!" Mattie rolled her eyes and nudged him in the ribs lightly. Then pausing she sent him an angelic look. "Maybe."

Lee laughed again and shaking his head, he retrieved his wallet and handed her the American Express credit card he had opened in her name but kept on him.

"You're just lucky that it's your birthday next week, Luv." He said and then hugging her to him again he kissed the top of her head. "Okay everyone, have a fabulous day and I'll see you later for dinner."

"Hey Lee, you get the present I left you on the desk this morning?" J.J. asked, as Lee prepared to head back to the convention. Lee winked and opened the thick folder to show them the Car and Driver magazine hidden inside.

They laughed, even Molly, as he turned on his heel to go over to the elevators. Engaging in a conversation with a few other people from the convention as they waited, he sent them a mock salute just as the doors opened.

Walking towards the hotel doors again with the kids leading the way, Carly prodded Molly with her elbow gently.

"See, he's not so bad." Carly said, smiling.

"Yeah, if you like arrogant men who obviously like to rely on their charms and ability to smooth talk a woman when they're obviously in the wrong." Molly said, rolling her eyes back at her cousin.

"And you've _never_ been interested in a guy like that before in your life." Carly said, copying Molly's eye roll perfectly to compliment the sarcastic tone in her voice.

Molly didn't answer, but she did sneak a quick look back over her shoulder towards the elevators. Lee and one another doctor had let an elderly couple take their place in the last elevator up and were just now getting on. Lee caught her stare and their eyes stayed locked, even as the doors closed.

"Nope, never." Molly said softly and the small smile that found its way to her lips made Carly smirk in triumph before playfully pushing her cousin out into the California sunshine.


	28. A Surprise Gift

**Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to my very amazing reviewers! Enjoy everyone!!**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Surprise is the greatest gift which life can grant us."  
__-Boris Pasternak_  
************************************************************************

Warm breath against her neck was Carly's peronal wake up call Tuesday morning and opening her eyes she smiled down at her sleeping daughter. Carly stretched under the covers and Sage frowned in her sleep, making a disgruntled noise as she wiggled closer to her mom. Laughing silently, Carly buried her face into Sage's soft hair and breathed in the scent of her youngest child. It was no surprise that Sage was exhausted since it had been a very late night.

Dinner had been a fun affair with Abby and her boyfriend Brayden joining them all at a recommended asian restuarant near the hotel. Even Molly and Lee had called an apparent truce, even though Carly was still confused as to what started their feud. Dinner had spilled over into going bowling and then when everyone had said goodnight, including the kids and Lee, Molly had stayed late, sipping a glass of white wine and catching up with Carly in the hotel bar. They had stayed until the bartender had kindly told them they were closing with Carly insiting that Molly stay because of the late hour. After some very light resistance, Molly had accepted and crashed on the other side of Carly's large bed.

However, even though Sage had soaked up the fact that she was allowed to stay up as late as everyone else at the time, all the excitement of the past few days caught up with her and a strong bout of homesickness hit the young girl around 2AM. She had come over to Carly in tears and begged to sleep with her, something she hadn't done in years. With a small indulgent smile, but truly only half conscious, Molly had somehow made it to the other king bed that Sage shared with Mattie before promptly falling asleep again. This allowed Sage to take Molly's place in Carly's bed and the girl wasted no time before snuggling into her mother's comforting embrace.

Now, in the morning light, Carly blinked slowly as she looked at the clock and noticed with satisfaction that it was exactly eight thirty, a much more acceptable time to Carly's inner clock. That satisfaction quickly slid into something else as Carly felt her stomach roll. Swiftly untangling herself from her daughter's long limbs she made it to the bathroom just in time to lose all contents of her stomach.

Trying to keep the retching that followed down to a minimum, Carly continued to be sick until she knew there was nothing else left to bring up. She immediately flushed the toilet and settled onto the cool tiles of the bathroom floor. A shadow fell over her and she glanced up to see Molly making herself comfortable in a cross legged position in front of her.

"Next time you suggest I try sushi for dinner…I'm going to serve_ you_ up with wasabi." Carly muttered and placed her forehead in her hand. "Seriously, who eats raw fish and _likes_ it?"

Molly frowned and reached out a hand, placing the back of it against Carly's cheek.

"You're warm, Cuz. I don't think it was the sushi." Molly said leaning back against the nearby bathtub and producing a bottle of water and a can of ginger ale that she had grabbed from the mini bar. Holding them out to Carly, she wasn't surprised when the blonde woman chose the soda.

"I _cannot_ be sick. If I get the flu on this vacation the kids will kill me." Carly said, rolling her eyes with a half joking smile on her face. Molly just sat there a moment and then sighed.

"I don't think it's the flu either." Molly said softly. Carly's eyes shot to Molly's face who just shrugged and opened the bottle of water, taking a sip before she started to speak again. "I'm just saying."

Carly glared at her and shook her head. "Okay genius, then what the hell do you think…"

Carly trailed off and Molly watched her connect the mental dots.

"You think I'm…" Carly started and then the hand that had been on her forehead found itself landing gently on her lower stomach. "Oh my God."

"I told you there was something different about you that I couldn't place. Well, I think this morning…you placed it for me."

As Molly stared at Carly's stunned face, part of her was ecstatic for her cousin but the other part braced itself for the inevitable emotional backlash if her guess was true.

"I can't be pregnant, Molly. I can't." Carly said, shaking her head. "How did this happen?"

"Um, do I need to have the sex talk with you again? I did it once when we were younger and that was uncomfortable enough." Molly said trying to coax a smile onto her face. At the frown Carly gave her instead, she let out a small sigh. "Is it Lee's?"

"No! Lee and I haven't…we're not…I told you a hundred times over the phone…just…no!" Carly said, rambling on and giving her a look. Molly couldn't quite understand the tiny shimmer of relief that tingled in the back of her mind, but she accepted it then pushed it away to focus on Carly.

"I was just making sure I still had my facts straight." Molly said, then rested her chin on her now drawn up knees. "So if it's not Lee, then there is only one possibility left and we both know who it is. Question is, what do you want to do next?"

Carly didn't have a chance to say anything else as a knock on the bathroom door came and Sage's voice followed.

"Mommy, I have to _go_." Sage whined slightly and Carly's panicked eyes met Molly's.

"We'll be right out, sweetie." Molly said, helping Carly to her feet and motioning for her to brush her teeth.

"Molly? What are you doing in there?" Sage asked confusion lacing her voice. Carly finished and Molly opened the door to see the girl bouncing lightly in front of the door.

"Your mom and I wanted to talk and we didn't want to wake you or Mattie." Molly said, glancing at Carly who was still in a state of semi-shock. Sage looked at her mom and frowned.

"Mommy, you okay?" Sage asked and Molly quickly shooed her into the bathroom.

"She's fine kiddo. Just some bad sushi. Now go to the bathroom before you pee on the carpet."

"Ew, gross." Sage said, but giggled as she shut the door behind her.

Molly noticed that Mattie's side of the bed was now empty too and quickly deduced that she was across the hall. Knowing her time was limited, Molly knocked on the bathroom door.

"Hey Sage, why don't you take your shower while you're in there? Your mom and I will order breakfast."

"Okay. I want pancakes! With strawberries! And whipped cream!" Sage called back and moments later, the toilet flushed and the shower started.

Calling over to the boys' room, she told them the same thing she told Sage and took down their orders along with Mattie's too. After subtly making sure that Mattie was going to hang out over there until it was her turn to shower, Molly turned to face Carly.

"So, I repeat, what do you want to do next?" She asked and Carly looked at her from her spot where she was curled up in a protective ball in the large armchair by the window.

"I don't know. I guess, first, I have to make sure that I'm…that it's true… right?" Carly said and Molly nodded, pulling out her cell phone even as Carly spoke. "What are you doing?"

Molly held up a finger for silence and then smiled as the other person picked up the phone.

"Hey Nancy, it's me. Yeah, I know, I know. I promise, I'll do it very soon." Molly said and then laughed at something, as she shook her head at the same time. "You are horrible."

Molly was silent as she listened for a moment and then laughed again. "Okay, deal. Hey, listen, Nance. I need a huge favor. Do you think you could fit my cousin in today? I know, but trust me I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important."

Molly paused and then sent Carly a smile and a thumbs up sign. "Great. We'll see you at 11:45. Thanks, Nancy. What? Yes, yes, I'll bring them! Bye!"

Molly laughed again as she hung up the phone and looked at Carly. "Okay, we have an appointment to see my friend Nancy Myers. She's an amazing ob-gyn and thankfully she can fit you in at…"

"11:45." Carly finished for her, nodding. "Thanks, Moll. I appreciate it."

Molly looked at Carly for a long moment, but she just smiled shakily back before looking out into the Los Angeles morning sky.

Carly really did appreciate the fact that Molly was helping her since she couldn't seem to get her mind to start again to function properly. But now that the idea had been awakened and Carly thought back over the signs, she was certain she didn't need any test to tell her what she already knew deep down in her soul.

She was pregnant with Jack's child.

The only question that remained was the one Molly had been asking all morning. What did she do next?


	29. Sometimes Fate Isn't Satisfied

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Fate is not satisfied with inflicting one calamity."  
__-Publilius Syrus_  
************************************************************************

Getting the kids out of the way was surprisingly easy as Molly just suggested that she and Carly spend some quality time together while Abigail and Brayden took them to the local mall and a movie. Having met Brayden the other day at lunch, the kids all liked him and of course, they already adored Abby.

Parker hadn't been too thrilled when, upon meeting Abby's handsome boyfriend with the honey colored eyes, Mattie had been rendered speechless for a few minutes. But Parker had adjusted quickly to the funny and outspoken young man, especially when they learned that Brayden competed in local surf competitions and was actually very good.

Promising to meet them back up for an early dinner, they all parted ways with promises to keep in touch by cell phone throughout the day.

Sooner than Carly would have liked, she and Molly were cruising down a coastal highway in Molly's BMW convertible. The cool air was incredibly refreshing and Carly was surprised to find that, forty minutes later, Molly was gently shaking Carly awake.

"Come on, Cuz. We're here." Molly said and Carly made a half hearted attempt to tame her curls before sighing and twisting them up into a clip. Molly reached into the backseat and pulled out the bribe she had used to help sway this appointment; a box of Sprinkles cupcakes.

Entering a white cozy looking building, Carly followed Molly down a short hallway to an office door. Entering, Carly caught a glimpse of a picture with the name Dr. Nancy Myers underneath of it, causing her mind to start turning. Molly stepped away to talk to the receptionist and Carly tilted her head when she wandered back over.

"Um, Moll, why does this doctor look so familiar?" Carly asked and Molly steered her immediately to a nearby set of comfortable looking chairs.

"Yeah, Nancy's been on the news a couple times. You might know her as the doctor that Brad and Angelina wanted to fly over to France to deliver the twins but wasn't available." Molly said, casually. "Oooh look, the new Style magazine!"

Carly just stared at Molly with her mouth dropped open until Molly glanced up at her.

"Relax, Cuz. She's really nice doctor. She just happens to be a really nice doctor with _really _famous clientele." Molly said shrugging.

"Wow, this local radio host job of yours must be better than I thought." Carly said, shaking her head lightly.

"Eh, we just went HD about 6 months ago and since then it's been pretty cool. We get about half a million listeners a day, give or take." Molly said and shrugged again at Carly's look of disbelief.

The nurse calling Carly's name brought her out of it and she went to retrieve the medical history paperwork to fill out. She was just finishing her insurance information when someone blocked her light.

"Carly Tenney?"

Carly looked up and frowned, seeing a thin attractive African American woman standing to her left.

"Wow, it is you! I can't believe this." She exclaimed and Carly exchanged a slight panicked look with Molly. She racked her brain, desperately trying to figure out if this was someone from back in Oakdale. She was young, barely out of her twenties if Carly had to guess, with an air of big city life around her and Carly knew that she wasn't from back home.

"I'm sorry…" Carly started to say, but the woman waved her off, sitting down in the empty chair on the other side of her.

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. I just…I can't believe my luck." The woman held out her hand. "My name is Monique Jadwin. I saw the incredible collection you created for BRO designs in Las Vegas a few years ago."

"Oh. Oh wow." Carly said, shaking her hand and giving her a bewildered smile. "I can't believe anyone even remembers."

"Are you kidding? The people I worked for were desperate to try and get you away from BRO but…I don't know. You just kind of disappeared." Monique laughed softly, but her look was obviously curious.

"Yeah, um, I had some personal things come up." Carly said and shrugged, not wanting to go into the tailspin that her life had taken not long after that, especially with a stranger.

"I completely understand." She said and then smiled. "I was actually so inspired by your work that I started to design a little myself."

"Oh? Uh, thank you. I don't know what to say." Carly said, a blush staining her cheeks. "How'd that turn out for you?"

Monique laughed and handed her a business card. "Pretty well, I'd say. My bosses liked them so much they gave me my own line."

Carly read the card and then did a double take. "MoJo Designs? You're _that_ Monique Jadwin? Your stuff is everywhere. It's beautiful work!"

"Thank you." Monique laughed again and this time it was her turn to blush. "That's a huge compliment coming from you."

"I mean it." Carly said and smiled.

"Are you living here in L.A. now?" Monique asked and Carly shook her head.

"No, I'm just visiting for a few days." Carly said, her brain already trying to come up with an explanation as to why she was visiting the ob-gyn even though, technically, it wasn't anyone's business.

But Monique just smiled back and then shifted, biting her lower lip.

"Look, I have to admit that I feel that this is fate in a way." The young woman said and Carly frowned at her words.

"I don't understand."

"Well, my designs are mostly for adult women, fun business wear for 'young souls' as my mom used to say." Monique said, giving a chuckle that held that tell tale hint of recent loss. Clearing her face, Monique looked to Carly and her extremely dark eyes twinkled in the fluorescent lights of the doctor's office. "My parent company has been asking me to try to design a fall collection geared more towards kids and actual young adults. You know, pre-teen to maybe just out of college?"

Carly nodded, still not understanding where this was going.

"Well, it's been quite some time and I've got nothing, despite becoming a mom myself about six months ago." Monique gestured to the other side of the room where Molly and Carly noticed a handsome black man holding a ridiculously adorable baby boy on his lap. He waved, then made the baby wave and all three women couldn't help but smile and wave back.

"I know there was rumor that BRO was going to start a younger line and that you were going to be the main designer but…" Monique trailed off and Carly nodded subtly, both acknowledging that they had already gone over what had happened back then. "Well, I was wondering if you would be interested in possibly taking on being the head designer for this project. Under your own label, of course. I don't think you need to prove yourself to me."

"I…I don't know what to say." Carly said, shaking her head in disbelief.

"It's cool. Take all the time you need…well not _all_ the time." Monique joked and Carly smiled. As a fellow designer Carly knew that collections usually came out the season ahead so Monique would need production started on this line no later than early to mid spring so it could premier in the summer.

"Carly Tenney?" Another nurse was the one who called Carly's name now and she looked up in surprise. She had almost forgotten where she was.

"You have my personal card. Please feel free to call me if you have any questions or concerns." Monique stood along with Molly and Carly. "I think the world has missed out by not being able to have your designs, Ms. Tenney. Maybe it's time to let them see what I saw in Las Vegas."

Carly couldn't help the smile that spread across her face and she impulsively reached out to hug the woman. "Thank you."

After Molly also said goodbye and shook Monique's hand, the two cousins followed the nurse back into a very plush exam room. There was a waterfall sculpture making up a far wall causing the relaxing sound of flowing water to fill the room. There was a thick couch and chair to wait on and the exam table was more like an elevated twin bed, complete with cotton sheets. It looked like someone's house rather than an exam room at a gynecologist's office.

"Could this day get any more surreal?" Carly asked as she looked at Molly in astonishment.

"Yes." Molly said quietly, handing Carly an individually wrapped terry cloth hospital gown with a pretty floral print.

And then suddenly everything that had happened in the waiting room vanished from Carly's mind and she was shaking like a leaf.

"Molly…" Carly said and Molly just shushed her, shooing her to go behind the beautiful Japanese dressing screen in one corner.

"Don't worry, Cuz. I'm not going anywhere. It's going to be fine."

Within the next few minutes, the very friendly nurse came back in to take a blood sample and had Carly give a typical urine test. Carly had just resettled herself onto the exam table and was struggling to calm her nerves when the door opened and the doctor walked in.

Dr. Nancy Myers wasn't what Hollywood would call beautiful but there was a presence about her that made one relax almost immediately. She had sparkling hazel eyes and auburn hair that was starting to be streaked with grey along with a figure that showed she had given birth and was proud of it. The doctor placed her medical chart down on the nearby counter and turned a bright smile their way.

"Molly, you better have brought them!" Nancy said in a mock challenging voice even as she enthusiastically hugged her friend.

"Hey, I know where my loyalties lie." Molly laughed, returning her hug and motioning to the box on the couch.

"Fabulous!" Nancy said, her eyes twinkling and she licked her lips. "I might even invite you two to join me in one after this exam is over. _Maybe_."

With that Nancy turned to Carly and held out her hand. "You must be Molly's cousin, Carly."

"Yes, thank you so much for fitting me in." Carly said reaching out to shake her hand, liking the fact that this new snap close hospital gown didn't gap open, allowing her to keep her dignity for at least a few more moments.

"No problem. I just happened to have a cancellation and Molly had good timing." Nancy said and then smiled. "What can I do for you?"

"Well…I…" Carly frowned and then took a deep breath. "I think I'm pregnant."

"Have you taken a home test?" Nancy asked, as she went to wash her hands.

"No, I wanted a more definitive answer." Carly said and Nancy nodded as she grabbed a towel to dry and then using a step-open hamper she threw it in to be laundered.

"Okay, any previous pregnancies?"

"Yes, two out of my three children are biological." Carly said and Nancy gave her a raised eyebrow as she took in Carly's lithe body.

"It's just not fair sometimes." She said, winking to let Carly know she was joking and causing Carly let out a small laugh.

"Trust me, it's not as easy as it looks. My kids keep me extremely active."

"Any problems with those pregnancies?" Nancy smiled and putting on a pair of rubber gloves she sat at on a movable stool the end of the table. She knew she could look at Carly's filled out medical history but she liked to get the information directly from her patients. A lot of times, there were things that women just didn't like to write down on a piece of paper.

"Well I had pre-eclampsia both times, but it was only diagnosed the second time around with my daughter." Carly said, thinking back.

The doctor didn't pause in her movements as she extracted the tools she would need from the warming tray, but as she bent her head her hair hid a frown. Two former cases of pre-eclampsia along with Carly's age did not bode well if this pregnancy was confirmed.

By the time she looked up again, Nancy's frown had turned back into a warm smile and she started the exam. Nancy kept Carly relaxed by asking questions about her kids and by also having Molly keep up a running comical commentary. The end result was that the exam was done faster than Carly realized.

"Okay, Carly, you can sit up now." Nancy said, snapping off her rubber gloves and throwing them away. Washing her hands again, she turned to look into Carly's anxious face.

"Congratulation, Carly. You _are _pregnant." Nancy said, her own face breaking out into a grin.

Even though Carly had already known somewhere inside, to hear the official announcement from a doctor was beyond amazing. Carly turned wide blue eyes to Molly, whose own stunned gaze was looking right back. Both women grinned and Carly turned to look at Nancy again.

"Are you sure?" She asked and Nancy laughed kindly.

"I've been doing this for almost 20 years, dear. Trust me, I'm sure." Nancy said and looked at Carly's paperwork. "And from what you told me, especially with such an exact date of conception, I believe you can expect your new little one sometime around August 23rd."

"A summer baby. Like Sage." Carly said happily looking over at Molly, who continued to grin back.

Nancy was quiet for a moment and then leaned on the counter, folding her arms across her chest.

"Carly, I need you to listen to me for a minute, okay?"

At the tone of the doctor's voice both Carly and Molly's backs stiffened.

"There are some things you need to know." Nancy looked Carly directly in the eyes. "First thing is that this pregnancy is considered high risk. With your age, the interval between this pregnancy and your last one, combined with your past medical history the odds of you developing pre-eclampsia again are significant. The possibility of you going into pre-mature labor is greater and there is more than a substantial risk to your own health."

"Can I do anything to prevent it? I mean, do I have to go on bed rest or something?" Carly asked and Nancy frowned.

"No, there has been no notable link for using bed rest to prevent pre-eclampsia and unfortunately, right now, the only known cure is to actually deliver the child and the placenta." Nancy paused before taking a breath and forging on. "Carly, with that being said are you sure you want to continue this pregnancy? If not, you need to make a decision sooner rather than later."

"What?" Carly exclaimed, looking at Nancy in astonishment. "You can't even be certain that I will get pre-eclampsia again."

"Yes, that's true, but I have to re-iterate that the odds of you proceeding with this pregnancy and not developing it are not in your favor. The risk…" Nancy started to say but Carly cut her off.

"It's not an option." Carly said and when Molly even started forward, Carly turned blazing eyes on her cousin. "It's _not _an option. Discussion closed."

Nancy nodded, somehow knowing that this would be the reaction she received but she wouldn't have been filling her oath as a doctor if she didn't at least bring it up.

"Okay, well you need schedule your ultrasound in the next couple of weeks. Your doctor at home will be able to tell you a due date more definitely and talk to you about your prenatal care."

Carly nodded at Nancy's words, but most of the joy in Carly's face had disappeared. Her color went pale at the thought of going to her doctor in Oakdale and she closed her eyes in distress. Carly wasn't mentally ready for even Jack to know she was pregnant, let alone the rest of the damn town which is exactly what would happen when she went to Oakdale Memorial. Molly saw this change in her and nodded to Nancy, who took the hint.

"I'm going to go take your PAP smear to be sent out and check on the blood and urine test results. Please feel free to wash up before you get dressed in the bathroom. There are throwaway wash cloths and bars of hypoallergenic soap for you to use." Nancy said and slipped out the door.

Carly did just as Nancy suggested, once again seemingly in a small trance. She finally came back out into the room fully dressed, only to be scrutinized by Molly's concerned look.

"Cuz…" Molly started but Carly just sat down on the sofa, appearing to not even hear her.

"I need time to think. I just…need time to think." Carly said softly. She hadn't realized that she spoke aloud until Molly's voice startled her.

"What do you mean think? You're going to tell Jack, aren't you?" Molly asked and at Carly's silence the brunette's blue eyes grew wide. "Carly, answer me. You're going to tell Jack that you're pregnant, right?"

Carly just shook her head and buried her face in her hands, starting to laugh.

"I don't know. I don't know anything right now except that the one thing I dreamed of for years is coming true and everything is just so _messed up_."

Laughter dissolved into tears and as Carly's shoulders shook, Molly felt her heart twisting for her cousin. Sitting down on the couch too, she wrapped an arm around her.

Carly resisted for a moment but then she laid her head down on Molly's shoulder and let it go. All the emotion that Carly had kept bottled up for the last few hours just flowed out of her and she vaguely felt Molly stroking her hair and whispering to her.

"It's going to be okay, Carly. Everything is going to be okay." Molly soothed and pressing her cheek to her cousin's blonde hair she closed her eyes,a couple stray tears sliding down her cheeks. Molly wanted to believe her own words more than anything in the world, but there was a feeling in her gut that she couldn't explain.

All Molly knew was that it terrified her beyond anything she had felt in a long time and it made her hold onto Carly just that much tighter.


	30. Understanding the Past and Present

**Author's Note: I took some liberties where Carly and Molly's family past is concerned in this chapter. However, please know that I tried to take as many clues from the show as I could to make it as canon as possible. Enjoy!!**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_You have to know the past to understand the present."  
__-Dr. Carl Sagan_  
************************************************************************

Molly and Carly didn't talk much on the way back to the hotel. They stopped for a light lunch but Carly only managed to eat a few bites before turning green with nausea. The pregnancy signs were so much more obvious now that she knew that Carly wondered how she didn't figure it out earlier. In fact, Molly asked the same thing as they returned to the hotel room, collapsing separately on the two beds.

"I don't know, honestly." Carly said, staring up at the ceiling with her hands folded gently over her stomach. "I've never had a regular period, so that didn't clue me in much. But the fact that I've been so tired, not to mention that I seem to cry at the drop of a hat lately, it's almost as if I was a textbook case."

A sudden memory of New Years popped into Carly's head and made her frown. Was it possible that somewhere deep inside she had known all along and that was the reason she had refused to drink with everyone that night? And that she had declined another glass of wine last night with Molly at the bar?

"So have you thought about when you're going to tell Jack the good news?" Molly asked, rolling over onto one side and raising up on an elbow to prop her chin in her palm.

"Molly, don't start this again." Carly said, closing her eyes against a discussion that she didn't want to have right then.

"Carly, stop. You have to figure it out sometime."

"Not today, I don't." Carly muttered back.

"What are you going to do? Wait until the baby is born and then say 'surprise, Jack, you're a daddy again'?" Molly asked incredulously.

Carly's eyes flew open and she turned her head to stare at Molly with a raised eyebrow. Molly sighed, knowing that this was pretty much exactly what she had done to Holden all those years ago with Abigail.

"Look, Cuz, I'm not throwing stones here. I'm just saying that besides the fact that Jack _is_ a detective and therefore perpetually nosy, he's also a pretty bright guy. Well, most of the time." Molly said, making a face as she quickly thought back to all the bone-headed mistakes Jack had made.

Funny enough, most of them were when he was making decisions based off of what he felt was right like Carly usually did. Realizing that this revelation wasn't going to help her argument Molly shook those thoughts off and continued on.

"Jack is going to notice something different about you when, oh I don't know, you start looking like you swallowed a basketball."

"Ha ha." Carly mumbled.

"Well, that's if the kids don't blab first. My money's on Sage." Molly said and watched as Carly flung an arm over her eyes.

"Oh God, the kids." Carly groaned.

"Uh,_ yeah_, the kids. Unlike Jack, they live with you pretty much day in and day out. Do you have any idea how much harder it's going to be to hide it from them?" Molly paused and frowned. "Then again maybe not Sage since she's still a little too young to really pay attention. And maybe not J.J., since he's becoming more involved in school and sports and you can distract him with any video game that has fast cars or stuff being blown up."

Molly sat up more and pointed a finger at Carly, even though she couldn't see her. "But _Parker_…ha! That kid is so intuitive that I'm surprised he didn't tell you that you were pregnant the day after you conceived."

"He reminds me so much of Hal sometimes it's scary. That man knew nine times out of ten when someone was lying. But it was his instincts about certain people and his unwavering belief that people had the potential to change their lives around if given a chance that blew me away every single time." Carly whispered, letting herself remember the great man that so many of them had lost in yet another unnecessary tragedy.

"I know." Molly whispered back gently. She let her reminisce for a moment or two longer before sitting up and scrutinizing Carly with an objective eye.

"Let's see. You've got good genes, Cuz, plus you know how to use fashion to your advantage. I'm guessing you can hide it up to maybe…March. That's three months, girl, to get your act together and tell Jack the truth about little baby Tenney-Snyder."

"What the hell is with you being Jack's cheering section all of a sudden?" Carly asked, taking her arm down from her eyes and glaring over at her.

"Um, maybe because you love the man and he loves you back? My God, I'm a horrible person." Molly replied sarcastically.

"It's not that simple and you know it." Carly argued.

"It never is with you guys. But that doesn't mean you can't fix this." Molly tried to argue back.

"Molly, there is nothing to fix. We are not together. We haven't been for a long time. As happy as this baby makes me, Jack found his way to my bed that night because he was scared. He was going to marry another woman…"

"…who he broke up with two months ago and chose you over her!" Molly exclaimed trying to break down her cousin's stubborn walls. "And _you_ turned him down."

"And why not?" Carly shot back, sitting up in bed to stare angrily at Molly. "Why should I let Jack back in to my life like that when all he does is leave me in the end?"

"But the baby…" Molly tried to say.

"Changes nothing!" Carly yelled, startling Molly into silence.

At Molly's wide eyed look Carly closed her eyes and sighed, gathering herself together before she spoke again. This time there was only a sad acceptance in her voice and when she opened her blue eyes they were sad but resigned.

"We have three beautiful children already, Moll, and he left me anyway. One more child won't prevent that from happening again. All it would do is leave one more heart to get broken in the end. I will not let my children, _any_ of my children, go through that again. I just…I won't."

Molly stared at Carly, tears shimmering in her eyes and a lump in her throat. She knew that Jack had hurt Carly the last time around but she didn't know how deeply until right that moment.

Molly had always been envious of Carly's unwavering belief in the fact that she and Jack were meant to be together even if she wasn't always envious of some of the routes they took to get there.

But now Molly was taken aback as she witnessed something she thought she would never see; Carly had lost faith in her "forever love". The look in Carly's eyes reminded Molly of the look she had in her own eyes when her beloved husband Jake died. After a downward spiral that she really wasn't proud of, Molly had come out of her grieving with the knowledge that even though Jake might have been her one "forever love", she was capable of loving someone new. It was just in a different way.

But Carly's "forever love" was still alive giving her a chance to be with that person and Molly was damned if she was going to let her cousin just let that go without a fight.

Yet as she watched Carly's eyes droop, Molly knew that she wasn't going to change the headstrong blonde woman's mind at that moment.

"Hey, Cuz, why don't you lay down for a while huh? You had a big day and the kids aren't due back for another hour and half or so." Molly said and Carly nodded, proving just how tired she was by not arguing.

As Carly curled up on top of the bed, Molly went to the closet and got the warm cotton blanket from the top shelf. After laying it gently over Carly, Molly settled down next to her and stretched out. She smiled softly when Carly scooted over to place her head so that it shared Molly's pillow, their noses practically touching.

When they were kids Molly's mom, Shelley, had brought her to visit Carly for a few weeks during the summer and winter breaks from school. Their favorite visits were during summer when Carly and Molly had spent plenty of nights in a mock tent made from the covers of Carly's bed and stayed up late telling each other ghost stories.

But sometimes those horror stories had come true when the fighting between Carly's dad and stepmom, Leigh, had gotten to be too much and the sounds of the physical abuse echoed in the hallways. Even though Molly was barely a year and a half older than Carly, she took the role of being her younger cousin's protector very seriously.

As the fighting grew louder Carly would huddle in ball, placing her head as close to Molly's as she could with her whole body trembling at the sounds of things crashing and flesh being slapped around. Molly would tune it all out and tell as many funny stories as she could to take Carly's mind off of everything. It wouldn't be long before Carly was asleep and Molly would follow right behind. Their small hands would be clasped together tightly, showing that even in their sleep it was them against the world.

It had been one of the darkest days of their childhoods that summer when Molly's mother had come flying out of the Double X ranch house, her eyes blazing in anger. The huge argument she had been having with her brother about his drinking and useless new wife carried out onto the porch. Shelley Tenney Peterson had stood on the steps and declared that she and Ray Tenney were no longer siblings or any other kind of flesh and blood kin.

Seemingly forgotten in all the screaming Carly and Molly clung together, frozen in their spots from where they had been playing with hula hoops made from old water barrel rings. The two little girls watched with wide blue eyes as an overly drunk and furious Ray forbade his sister, her husband or her "brat" daughter to ever step foot on his property again. Then, with both Molly and Carly screaming at the top of their lungs, Molly's mom had literally torn the girls apart. Ignoring the children's desperate pleas, she dragged Molly to the rental car and driven away without looking back.

All Ray Tenney had done as he watched his young daughter run after the vehicle was spit on the ground, grab another beer, and walk back inside as if nothing ever happened. Neither Ray nor Leigh had noticed that the moon was already high in the night sky when Carly finally came home. Tear tracks stained her dust covered face and her blonde hair was no longer in the two pristine braids that Molly had done for her earlier that morning.

Carly had run after Aunt Shelley and Molly's car for three long miles before her little body had given out in exhaustion. She had lain in the dirt road, sobbing until she had no more tears left inside of her to cry. That summer night, as she made her way to her bedroom in silence, her eyes were dull with the pain of losing the only person in her life that had made her feel that she mattered.

Carly had turned eight years old just two days before.

"When did life become so complicated?" Molly whispered, burrowing her head into the down pillow and closing her eyes as her own memories flowed over her.

"There are days that I can't think of a time when it wasn't." Carly admitted just as quietly. Then she tilted her head up to look at Molly and smiled sadly. "Do you remember those nights we stayed up until we couldn't keep our eyes open anymore?"

"Of course I do. You were such a pain in my ass. You snored horribly." Molly teased and leaned forward to kiss Carly's forehead. "Now go to sleep. I want you and my new baby cuz as healthy as possible and _that_ means resting when you can."

"Yes, ma'am." Carly said in a fake stern voice but sure enough, a few minutes later she was completely out.

"I tried so hard to protect you then, Cuz, and I swear I'll protect you now. Even if it is from your own stubborn self." Molly whispered and threaded her fingers through Carly's.

Then, like so many years ago when they slept in tents made of covers, Molly followed her cousin into dreamland with their hands clasped together.

It was them against the world and God help anyone who tried to hurt them again.


	31. Lives Through Open and Closed Doors

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live."  
__-Flora Whittemore  
_************************************************************************

Thursday was their last full day in California and since Lee's convention was over by lunch time, they spent the rest of it down at Molly's house in Santa Monica.

It was a gorgeous single family home with 3 bedrooms and a full bath in a picturesque neighborhood. It came with a wrap around porch and small secluded backyard with sunken hot tub that kids immediately put a claim in for later that night. Molly had set up a grill, picnic table, and a hammock to complete the ideal backyard escape. The full stainless steel kitchen and airy open feel to the house made it more than a steal for the price she had bought it for, even in today's housing market.

But with no argument, everyone's favorite feature was the less than 5 minute drive to the beach and pier. And after a quick trip to the grocery store to stock up for the barbeque they would have later that night, the beach and pier was where they camped out for the rest of the day.

As if knowing that it was their last day in the place known as the Sunshine State, Mother Nature had cooperated by having the temperature usually high at 75 degrees and a not a cloud in the sky. Despite the fact that the beach had many more people on it than one would expect since it was a work day, Molly assured them that it was no where near as packed as it normally got on the weekends or in the summer.

It was late in the afternoon when Parker paused from where Brayden was showing him, Mattie, and J.J. how to skim board along the surf and looked around.

Abigail was further away from the water helping Sage build an impossibly large and detailed sandcastle. Lee was unconscious with a car magazine over his face, snoring softly regardless of the sounds of the hundreds of laughing people around him. Molly and Carly were glancing over at him every so often as they talked low with each other.

Parker frowned as he watched them converse, their hands moving often to emphasize a point one or the other would make. His mom and Molly had been having a lot of private conversations the past couple of days and something in his gut told him that whatever they were talking about, it was very important.

"Hey, Yank. Whatcha thinkin about?" Mattie said, startling him from his thoughts.

"Nothin." Parker said, looking over at her.

"Uh huh, right. And I'm the Queen Mum." Mattie said, rolling her eyes.

"Whatever you say, your Majesty." Parker said and received a slight slap on the shoulder for his joke. "Ow! Okay, okay!"

Mattie smiled and then tilted her head to look at him closely. Something was on her best friend's mind and she could tell that it wasn't sitting well.

"So, my body thinks I should take a break from trying to destroy it on that skim board. I was thinking of taking a walk along the water. You wanna come with?" Mattie said, casually glancing down along the surf.

"Yeah, sure." Parker replied and then turned towards Carly and Molly. "Hey, Mom, we're gonna take a walk okay?"

Carly looked over at them for a moment and then nodded. "Okay, just don't go too far. We're going to head back soon to get ready for dinner."

Parker waved in response before turning and starting down the beach with Mattie.

"Hey, where are you going?" Sage asked, running up to them.

"We're just going for a walk, Shorty." Parker said and ignored the small frown that Sage gave him at the nickname.

"Can I come?" She asked and Parker exchanged a glance with Mattie.

"Hey, Sage!" Abby said, jogging up next to them. "Way to leave me hanging on our castle."

"I'm done with it. I wanna go with Parker and Mattie." Sage said. Abby looked at Parker and Mattie's faces before looking back down at Sage.

"Oh, well, okay. But I was getting bored too and thought I'd go check out the hermit crabs on the pier again." Abby said, shrugging.

At the mention of hermit crabs, Sage's eyes got wide. Ever since she had seen them when they first visited the pier, she had been begging her mother for one. Carly had taken one look at the crawling creatures and adamantly said no way in hell was one coming into her house. However, Sage was confident she would be able to change Carly's mind before they went home.

"Do you think they'll still have the big one with the purple glittered shell?" Sage asked and Abby shrugged again.

"I don't know, maybe." Abby said and Sage grabbed her hand.

"Come on!" The little girl cried, dragging Abby towards the pier. Abby laughed and after shooting a wink at the two teens, she had no choice but to follow Sage.

Parker and Mattie thought they would have a similar problem with J.J. but it turned out he was perfectly happy to continue to skim board. In fact, he had gotten the hang of it rather quickly and was now attempting to do spins and jumps like Brayden could.

Mattie followed Parker's lead for a while and just stayed silent as they walked, until he let out a small sigh.

Glancing over at him, she frowned. "You're worried about your mom. Why?"

Parker looked at her and smiled softly. He was no longer surprised at how well Mattie could read him but sometimes it was just down right uncanny.

"Yeah, I am." Parker admitted, nodding. "I can't explain why though. It's just…I don't know. I know something's wrong, but at the same time I get the weird feeling that something's right too."

He paused, realizing his words made no sense and shook his head. "Never mind."

"No, it's okay. I get it." Mattie said and placed a hand on his arm. "Is it like the time your mom was sick?"

"Nah, it's not that." Parker said, shaking his head again. "And besides, after everything that happened, she would tell us if she thought she was that sick again."

Parker had no doubt that what he had just said to Mattie was true. That whole time was one of the lowest for their family and he knew that despite some crazy things that went on in her mind, his mom would never do something like that to him or his siblings again. Even during the moments when he and Carly drove each other crazy, the thought of losing his mom made Parker's blood turn cold. Just thinking about it, caused him shiver in the warm California sunlight.

Once again Mattie picked up on his train of thought and spoke up. "Well, I'm sure you'll figure it out. You always do."

"Yeah," Parker said, the wheels of his brain still turning. "It's just that, as cool as it is when my mom and Molly are together, trouble usually isn't far behind."

"So you've told me." Mattie nodded, thinking back on all of the crazy stories he had told her. Then, deciding to change the subject, she gave a small smile. "Speaking of Molly, I think she likes my Uncle Lee."

"What?" Parker asked, properly distracted from lingering thoughts of his mother in danger. "Molly barely tolerates being in the same room with him unless everyone else is around."

"Trust me!" Mattie laughed. "Haven't you seen the way that Molly keeps looking at Uncle Lee when she thinks no one is watching? And the way that she keeps trying not to laugh when he tells all those stupid jokes of his?"

"Lee's jokes aren't stupid. They're freakin' hysterical." Parker said and Mattie rolled her eyes.

"Yeah…not so much, Yank." Mattie said then grinned. "Okay, what about today when we got to the beach? Molly brought magazines with her _including_ a Road and Track. Molly doesn't seem to be the type to have that just lying around her house. Vogue, Glamour, Cosmo...yes. Road and Track...nah uh."

When Parker frowned, Mattie tossed her ponytail over her shoulder knowing that she had proven her point. With a small skip she bounced in front of him so she was now walking backwards. "A girl knows these things."

"What? And guys don't?" Parker asked and smirked at her. "For your information, I think Lee likes Molly, but I didn't want to say anything."

"Oh yeah, where's your proof?" Mattie asked, her eyes narrowing.

"Um, how about the way that Lee keeps watching Molly too when _he _thinks no one is looking? Or the fact that when he and I went to get lunch for everyone, he brought back orange soda?"

"So, what does that have to do with anything?" Mattie asked, stopping and crossing her arms.

"Oz, none of us drinks orange soda except Molly. Which means he was paying attention to what she liked whenever we all went out to dinner." Parker said and Mattie's eyes widened. Now it was Parker's turn to gloat in the fact that he was right.

"See, a guy just knows these things." He said and shied away from the light punch that Mattie threw his way, even as they both laughed.

Turning back the way they came, they started to walk again.

"I wonder why neither of them seems to notice that the other likes them too." Parker said, curiously.

"I guess, maybe, some people just don't see the signs." Mattie said, shrugging.

"Yeah, I guess not. I should know having watched my mom and dad ignore them for years." Parker said chuckling wryly. Their arms brushed against one another and Mattie reached out to interlace his fingers with her.

"But it's never too late to figure it out. Maybe your mom and dad will get their act together." Mattie told him and squeezed his hand in encouragement.

"Yeah, maybe. Like when Sage graduates college" Parker said and rolled his eyes.

"Hey, you never know. Adults aren't_ always_ stupid when it comes to that stuff." Mattie said and then frowned. "Just most of the time."

"True story, Oz." Parker laughed and then squinting, he pointed to where Lee was now awake and waving them over.

"I think we're heading back." Parker said and Mattie nodded, letting go of Parker's hand. She turned to face the water and shielded her eyes from the glare of the lowering sun.

"It's so beautiful. I'm kinda sad to be going home." Mattie said, sighing.

"Yeah, I know. But at the same time…" Parker said trailing off, watching the die hard surfers get in the last high tide of the day.

"You miss it…and your dad." Mattie said for him. When he nodded she smiled at him gently. "It's okay to admit it. I won't think you're a wanker if you do. And by the way your mom gets all nervous when we talk about going home, I think she misses your dad too."

Mattie paused and then let out a soft sigh. "I guess, it's natural to miss someone you love whether you're apart for five days or five years. Even when they hurt you."

At her words, Parker looked over at her. Her green eyes were soft and had a faraway look in them as she watched the ocean.

"Come on, we'd better get back. Don't want to make your Uncle Lee's famous barbeque ribs wait." Parker said, and squeezed her around the shoulders.

"Hey, Yank?" Mattie said ignoring his attempt to change the subject. She looked up at him intensely and frowned. "As stupid as your parents are about stuff, don't take them for granted okay?"

Parker stared at her for a moment. As she spoke, the uneasy feeling that Parker had about what was going on with his mom had crept back into his mind. Another chill went down his spine and he swallowed hard before nodding. "Okay."

With a firm nod, she pushed her thoughts away and then sent him a brilliant grin.

"Hey, race ya!" She said and before Parker had a chance to say anything, she bolted back up the beach. With a shake of his head, he had no choice but to chase after her.

Yet, they both knew that even as they ran towards the others, in reality they were really running away from the feelings and memories that their conversation had brought with it.


	32. Memories of Things You Love

**Author's Note: After one of the best/worst days of work ever I would like to dedicate this to my reviewers who, when I don't feel like typing another word, give me the motivation to go on. I would also like to add a very special dedication to Allie, who pretty much demanded that I update tonight ;-)**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

_Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.  
-The Wonder Years_  
************************************************************************

"Dear God, Luv, are you sure you don't want to go back to California and bring back the rest of the damn state?" Lee groaned as he lugged the last suitcase into Milltown.

Carly laughed softly and just motioned for him to put it in the corner by the door. As he did, the kids plodded in and the exhaustion that Lee and Carly both felt was written all over their faces too.

"I think it's a good thing we stopped for fast food on the way home. It looks like an early night for everyone." Lee said even as Mattie leaned into his side sleepily. Sage was doing the same thing to Carly while both J.J. and Parker had already collapsed on the couch.

Again Carly laughed and then hugged her daughter to her side as she let loose a loud yawn. She couldn't blame anyone for being exhausted. Despite it being only a four hour plane ride, their flight had been delayed twice causing the take off time to be pushed back from noon until close to 2pm. Add up the time change and the wait to get everyone's luggage, plus the hour drive from the airport, it was already 8:45pm. It also didn't help matters that no one had really slept the night before. The mixture of excitement to go home and sadness of leaving California behind had been a powerful combination.

Even as Carly thought about her goodbye with Molly, her eyes welled up with tears. It was always hard to say goodbye to her "Cuz" but this time it seemed far worse. Carly knew that the last place Molly ever wanted to come back to was Oakdale, but she couldn't help but selfishly want her there while she faced this latest crisis.

Pushing back the instinct to lay her hand on her stomach, Carly turned to the boys on the couch and gently patted Sage on the thigh.

"Okay, troops. We can unpack tomorrow. I think now would be a good time for everyone to say goodnight."

In a move that just served to further cement Carly and Lee's suspicions that they were half asleep already, none of the kids protested. Instead Parker, J.J. and Sage mumbled something that seemed to resemble the words "Goodnight" as they headed upstairs. Mattie gave Carly a hug and then grabbing the keys from Lee, said that she was going to warm up the car.

"Ten bucks says that she's asleep before the defroster kicks in." Lee said as soon as Mattie was out the door.

"No bet." Carly replied and then sighed, rolling her neck. Lee looked at her closely and then frowned.

"There's something you're not telling me, Luv. What's up?" Lee asked and even though Carly knew that her secret would be safe with him, she held back.

"I'm fine. Just tired." Carly said and gave him a small smile. Lee knew that she was lying to him but he also knew that if she wanted him to know what it was, then she would tell him when she was ready.

"Okay, darling. Just remember that if you ever need anything all that you have to do is ask." Lee said and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I know." Carly leaned into him for a moment and pulled away. "Now go, before you have a popsicle for a niece."

"I'll call you tomorrow." Lee said and nodding she led him to and out the front door.

As she closed it behind him, Carly rolled her neck again and tried to rub some of the tension of the past few days away. As soon as she checked on the kids, there was definitely a bubble bath calling her name.

Turning from the door she noticed the blinking light of the answering machine. Hitting play, Carly finally took off her coat and moved to place it on the hook by the door. The sound of Jack's voice on the tape stopped her in her tracks.

_"Hey, it's me. Um, I know Parker called me to let me know that you guys landed but I just wanted to make sure you got home okay. So, uh, just gimme a call when you get this. I'll be up. Bye."_

Carly stared at the little blinking red light as it changed to a steady red glow, its job complete now that the message had been delivered.

A strong part of her wanted to pick up that phone instantly and call him back but a larger part resisted. It was the same part of her that had suggested to Parker that he call Jack to tell him that their flight had touched down. Carly knew it was cowardly but she couldn't help but think that the second she heard Jack's voice, she would just blurt out her news before she had fully considered the consequences.

But now Carly knew that she had no choice but to call him back. If the situation had been reversed she would have wanted to know that her kids were home safe.

With a sigh, Carly picked up the phone. Turning on the small porch lamp that stayed lit all night, Carly moved around the living room as she turned off the timers that had been set while they were away. The whole time her finger hovered over the speed dial button that corresponded to Jack's number.

Finally she headed towards the stairs and hit the button at the same time. It only rang twice before the line got picked up, startling Carly who thought she would have a little more time.

"Hello?" Jack's voice rumbled in her ear and Carly felt her breath catch in her throat. Even at that small word, her whole body shivered and a small smile couldn't help but form on her face.

"Hey, it's me." She said softly, moving towards Sage's room.

"Hey." Jack said, his voice slightly husky.

"Did I wake you?" Carly asked, pushing their daughter's door open.

"No, not really. I was just reading some files and I must have dozed for a second." Jack said and noting the softness of her voice he smiled. "Checking on the kids?"

"Yeah," Carly whispered back, although it wasn't necessary. Sage was completely dead to the world with her arms wrapped around a large Snoopy doll that Jack had given her for Christmas many years ago.

"Sage is out." Carly said and after kissing Sage's head gently she left, heading down the hall towards the boys' room.

Jack had helped them loft their beds like two top portions of bunk beds, one against each wall. Their desks were underneath their beds, leaving room for a small sofa under the window that faced a small entertainment center for their TV and gaming systems. Even though Carly insisted they keep their room relatively clean, it was always a gamble as to whether or not their clothes and other assorted possessions would make it where they belonged or on the floor.

Opening the door, she laughed quietly as she took in the sight, relaying it to Jack.

"Parker is asleep with a Sports Illustrated on his chest and J.J. is…" Carly started to say but Jack interrupted.

"Let me guess. Half hanging off the bed with his Xbox controller dangling from his hand and the game still running?" Jack said and at Carly's small laugh, he knew he was right.

After guiding the controller from J.J.'s hand and his leg back onto the bed in one smooth motion, Carly flipped the game system off. But she left the TV on an infomercial channel, knowing that they slept better with it the ambient noise.

Cutting out their light, Carly slipped back into the hallway.

"How was your flight?" Jack spoke up.

"It was okay. A little turbulence but, all in all, not too bad." Carly said, turning to go to the master bedroom.

"That's good. The kids sounded like they had a great time whenever I talked to them. How was seeing Molly?" Jack asked, the genuine curiousity and caring in his voice making Carly smile. If anyone knew how much Molly meant to her, it was Jack. He had seen the cousins at their strongest _and _at their weakest.

Carly was about to answer him but as she passed the small home office and guestroom she momentarily paused. They had finally discussed moving Parker into the guest bedroom over the upcoming summer and making the office into one instead. But now Carly stared at the small office, seeing it transformed into a nursery in her mind.

"Carly?" Jack asked and brought her out of her daze.

"What?" She asked and then frowned, trying to settle her thoughts so that she didn't say anything that she didn't mean to say. "I'm sorry, I guess I'm more tired than I realized."

"No, that's okay. Go ahead and get some sleep. Thank you for calling me." Jack said. "I was thinking of stopping by tomorrow on my way to work, if that's okay?"

"Of course, the kids would love it." Carly said and swung open her bedroom door. Flipping on the light, Carly froze in her spot and let out a soft gasp. "Oh my God, Jack. Did you…?"

At her reaction, Jack just smiled to himself and then whispered into the phone.

"Goodnight, Carly. Sweet dreams. I'll see you tomorrow."

Carly was vaguely aware of him hanging up on the other end, but her mind couldn't wrap around anything other than what she was seeing in front of her.

A bouquet of at least a dozen and a half red roses lay spread out on her bed, with an array of red petals encircling them. A small gift basket sat at the bottom of the stems with a card placed on top.

Moving closer Carly reached out a shaking hand to pick up the card, her eyes roaming over it all and taking in every detail. Dropping to the edge of the bed, she read the words that Jack had written in the formally blank card out loud.

**"Carly, I know you must be tired so I wanted to make sure you relaxed before jumping head first again into taking care of everyone else. In this gift basket are your favorite bath salts and bubble bath. If you're surprised I remember the type you like, you shouldn't be. I have seen you take enough bubble baths over the years to know."**

Carly blushed as she thought back to the first time that Jack had ever caught her in a bubble bath. She had never meant for him to be the one to wash her back that night as she had lay in wait for Hal. And in the end, as much as she had tried to deny that he wasn't the one she wanted, Carly hadn't been able to fool him...or her own body. Even now it sent an ache to the pit of her stomach as she thought back to how badly she had wanted Jack in that moment, despite how furious he had made her at the same time.

Carly shook herself and frowned as she continued to read.

**"As for the flowers, I just wanted to let you know that even with everything that has happened between us, I still believe what I said to you the first time I ever gave you roses."**

The note was simply signed with his name and stretching out a hand Carly touched the beautiful flowers with her fingertips. Picking one up and being mindful of the thorns, she inhaled the scent. It swirled around her and she closed her eyes, once again letting herself drift back in time to a memory of Jack in a hospital bed and their very first Valentine's Day together.

_"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."_

Jack's words echoed in Carly's mind and she felt the same panic that she felt then rising in her again. The feelings that she had discovered for Jack in Teague's cabin had scared her to her core and that day, realizing that Jack felt the same way, had caused her world to tailspin. It was the first time Carly had truly wondered if there was more to life than getting one over on her rich half-sister.

Jumping forward, Carly could never truly regret what had happened after that day since the end result was her amazing oldest son sleeping down the hall and try as she might she couldn't imagine her life without him. But every once in a while, late at night, Carly wondered what would have been if she had said no to Rosanna's deal and taken a chance on Jack in the very beginning.

"Oh G-man, what are you up to?" Carly whispered, sliding from the edge of the bed to sit on the floor, her head resting against the thick comforter. Clutching the card to her chest and holding the rose in the other hand she brought the velvety soft petals up to lay against her cheek.

Closing her eyes she tried to think of all the heartache that the recent years had brought when she was involved with Jack. It was a desperate attempt to try and refill the cracks in the walls surrounding her heart that this one tender act had caused.

But for every bad memory, two more good ones overshadowed it causing Carly to ask honestly admit to herself that she might be fighting a battle that she wouldn't ever be able to win.


	33. Author's Note

**Hey, guys. I just wanted to take a moment and discuss some things with you all. So here goes:**

**First off, thank you for the enormous amount of support you have given this story. I will never be able to tell you how much it means to me especially during the chapters that I thought you all would stone me to death. J/K :) But in all seriousness, the amazing reviews that you give me really help. It lets me know that, even when I think I can't possibly write another chapter, it's all worth it in the end.**

**Second, I know you guys are clamoring for more romance, but all I can say is please trust me. While I am a tried and true CarJack fan, this story has gone on to become something more like a daytime sweeps arc. There is a lot more to story to tell and I just hope you'll stick with me for the ride.**

**And lastly, real life has sort of gotten out of hand but I know what it's like to want the update to a story you're hooked on. I will try and update at least twice a week unless a true emergency comes up.**

**So with that all said, on with the story! Enjoy!**

**~JP**


	34. The Truth Is Easy If Discovered

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them."  
__-Galileo Galilei  
_************************************************************************

By claiming the need to go to the grocery store about ten minutes before he arrived, Carly managed to evade seeing Jack the Saturday after they all returned from California when he stopped by to see the kids. She couldn't give him a chance to bring up the roses mainly because she wasn't ready to discuss how that gesture had made her feel.

Instead she was able to keep up the avoidance act for a whole three days before Jack called her on it. Granted it was over the phone while discussing the kids' after school schedules, but it was still enough to cause her momentary panic. Thinking on her feet, Carly just brushed it off by saying she had been very busy trying to get back into the swing of things with the club and the kids. Then she had immediately made up an excuse to get off the phone, leaving Jack calling her name in frustration just before she hung up.

Very early Thursday morning, Carly found herself hit with a powerful wave of morning sickness. It was so bad that she just ended up pulling a pillow into the bathroom and lying on the rug in front of the toilet, with a fleece blanket wrapped around her. After a particularly gruesome round, Carly was vaguely aware of someone knocking on her bathroom door.

"Mom?" Parker called. "Are you okay?"

Carly struggled catch her breath, as she tentatively sipped the bottle of water that was constantly by her side these days.

"I'm fine honey. I, uh, think I caught the flu." Carly said, pressing her cool hands to her cheeks to try and calm the heat that was radiating from them while also closing her eyes to reduce her slight dizziness. "Do, uh…do you think you could help get your brother and sister ready for school?"

"Yeah, sure. J.J. is already in the shower and I think Sage just woke up." Parker said as he leaned against the outside of his mom's bathroom door.

"Thanks, sweetie. Um, see if Sage can go over to Mrs. Rosen's to wait for the bus with Julie when you guys leave for school, okay?" Carly asked.

"No problem." Parker said and Carly waited until she heard his footsteps retreat from her room before she doubled over the toilet again. About 20 minutes later, Parker knocked again.

"Mom?"

"Yeah…yeah, honey?" Carly said, placing a hand over her eyes as she rolled onto her back on the floor.

"Um, the bus is going to be here to pick me and J.J. up in a few minutes. I walked Sage to Mrs. Rosen's house and she said that Sage could come over after school too, in case you weren't feeling better." Parker told her.

"That's great, Parker, thanks."

"Hey, Mom, you okay?" J.J.'s voice joined Parker's and Carly rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, sweetie, I'm fine. Like I told your brother, it's probably just the flu. Oh, J.J., don't forget that your dad is picking you up early for a dentist appointment and…" Carly started to say but groaned as another wave hit her.

Both J.J. and Parker frowned as they listened to the sounds of their mother getting violently sick.

"Mom, you really don't sound okay. I mean, I could stay home from school if you need me…" Parker began to say but even in her nauseous state Carly began to shake her head in the bathroom.

"Not a chance buddy, but nice try! Don't think I don't remember that you have that giant math review test today." Carly said, forcing her gag reflex to relax and fighting her stomach's insistence at bringing up everything she had eaten..._ever_. Even with a wooden door separating them, Carly could still feel Parker and J.J.'s reluctance to leave.

"Go to school, guys. I'll see you when you get home." Carly said firmly. The sound of the bus horn stopped any further arguments and she smiled faintly as they let out a combined loud sigh. After a quick goodbye she heard them run down the stairs and the front door slam shut, followed by the sounds of the school bus pulling away.

No longer able to resist the urge to throw up, Carly once again let her body take over. When she was done, she lowered herself back down to the makeshift bed she had created on the shaggy light blue bathroom rug. Carly didn't know how long she lay there, but she must have dozed off for the next thing she heard was more knocking on the bathroom door.

Groaning, Carly felt her body protest as she struggled to sit up.

"Parker, I swear, if you got off that bus and came back home…" Carly started to say.

"Carly? It's me. Are you okay?" Jack called and Carly froze in her attempt to sit up.

"Jack?" she asked in shock. "What…what are you doing here?"

"Parker called me from the bus. He said that you were really sick." Jack said and Carly felt panic rise.

"Jack, I'm fine. I, uh, it's just the flu. Really, I'm fine." Carly said but even as the words left her mouth, her stomach rolled. Apparently now that she was conscious enough to talk, her body had decided that she was conscious enough to be sick again.

"That doesn't sound like 'fine' to me." Jack said as he took note of the sounds of Carly finishing up her vomiting and then brushing her teeth. Testing the doorknob, he found that it was unlocked. "Carly, I'm coming in."

"No, Jack! I…" Carly started to protest, but the door was already opening as she spoke. He poked his head in and was met with a stubborn glare from the blonde as she sank back down to the floor.

Jack took in her appearance and felt his heart jump. She looked so fragile half-sitting, half-lying on the floor with a blanket around her shoulders. Despite the nice tan she had seemed to get out in California, her face was pale making her blue eyes stand out even more. The blonde curls were pulled up in a messy clip and Jack could see the exhaustion in her eyes.

"How long have you been in here?" He asked and Carly just continued to glare.

"I'm fine. Go home." She said simply, but Jack just rolled his eyes.

"Oh yeah, you look like a million bucks." He said and shaking his head moved towards her. "Come on."

Before Carly knew what was happening, Jack had swept her up into his arms and was making his way back into the bedroom.

"Jack, just what do you think you're doing?" Carly gasped out, her arms automatically wrapping around his neck to steady herself. In doing so, she found that her nose was inches from his, making Jack pause by the bed with their eyes locking. After a charged moment, Jack lowered her to the covers before reaching over her and tucking her in.

Carly was suddenly incredibly grateful for her decision to wear one of the only sets of plaid flannel pajamas she owned. They were large enough that they hid the small stomach bump that she had noticed yesterday when she was in the shower.

"I'm going to take care of you." Jack said, firmly.

"Jack…" Carly started to protest again, pushing herself up on her elbows, but he just shook his head.

"Look, you and I both know that you are a horrible patient when you're sick. I am not subjecting our kids to that kind of abuse." Jack said and Carly couldn't help smiling at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Are you sure you're not talking about yourself?" She asked and Jack smirked.

"I guess that's just one more thing we have in common." Jack said and Carly's smile slipped away.

_Oh, Jack, you have no idea just how much we have in common these days. _She thought as she mentally forced herself to keep her hand away from her stomach.

But all she said out loud was, "I guess so."

Jack studied her closely for a minute, sure that there was something different about her but he couldn't put his finger on it. When Carly returned his look with a confused and pointed stare, he shook himself.

"Okay, well I called the station and took the morning off." Jack said and Carly frowned.

"Jack, you shouldn't have done that. I'm…"

"...fine. Yeah, I know. We went over that already." Jack said causing Carly to make a face at him. However she didn't speak up and he continued. "Besides I already had the afternoon off because of J.J.'s dentist appointment so it's not a big deal."

Jack moved into the bathroom and Carly strained to hear his muffled voice, trying to figure out what he was doing. Moments later he emerged with the plastic trashcan from under the sink.

"I also called Lily and she's going to bring Sage back to the farm with her after the girls have their dance class. I told Parker to take Mattie's bus home, although I'm sure he was already going there anyway. I'll just have Lily grab him on the way back too."

"Why wouldn't they just come home?" Carly asked, slightly amused when he placed the trashcan by the edge of the bed.

"Well, I think it's probably a bad idea for the kids to stay here while you're sick. I mean, the last thing they need after school starting so late is to miss days anyway because of the flu. They can just stay at the farm for the next few days until the weekend is done and you're over the worst of it." Jack said and Carly had to admit that his logic was sound. Or it would have been if she really had the flu.

But since it was the only excuse believable enough to cover the morning sickness, she knew that she needed to play it to the hilt. Besides, after everything that had happened the past week in California and the way she had been feeling since she got home to Oakdale, maybe a couple days of rest without the kids around wouldn't be such a bad idea.

"Thank you, Jack." Carly said and then drew in a hitched breath as she felt her stomach clench again.

Jack noticed her blue eye widen and he bent over to place a hand on her forehead.

"Hey, relax. Just take deep breaths. You can't possibly have anything left to throw up, so right now it's just a left over muscle spasm. Come on, breath through it." Jack said and in an ironic twist, began to deep breath with her as if they were in a Lamaze class.

All Carly could concentrate on was how close Jack was to her and the way his warm brown eyes were looking at her in concern. She felt herself relaxing and sure enough, when Jack stopped the deep breaths she found that the nausea was gone. Carly sent him a grateful look and he smiled softly at her, gently tucking a loose curl behind her ear.

"You think if I made you something to eat, you could keep it down?" Jack asked, quietly. Carly thought a moment and then just nodded slightly. She _was_ hungry and she knew that she had to at least try to eat, for the baby's sake if not her own.

"Okay, soup it is. Just not Beef Hungry Chunk, right?" Jack stood and Carly's amused eyes followed him with a hint of a blush on her cheeks.

"Right." Carly replied and with a small wink Jack headed downstairs, closing the door only halfway in case she needed to call him.

Ten minutes later and a lot of minor cursing, Jack had managed to find a can of chicken noodle soup and properly heat it up, while also making her a couple pieces of toast. He placed a cup of ginger tea on the tray along with the food and then smiled as he noticed the bouquet of roses on the dining room table. Finding a small, single flower vase in one of the cabinets, he placed one long stemmed rose in it and added it to the tray. It was as vibrant as the day he had brought them over and it warmed him to know that even though she hadn't mentioned the flowers past that night, she had obviously taken great pains to keep them alive.

Balancing the tray and pushing open the door, Jack paused as he looked at Carly. She was burrowed into the bed, fast asleep, with her golden hair now spilling from the clip and onto her pillow. She had dragged the small trashcan from the bathroom nearer to where her head lay, but when Jack got closer he was happy to note that it was empty.

Looking down at the tray, Jack shrugged. He would rather have her sleep now and he could always make her something else later, especially now that he was able to navigate the kitchen again. Taking the vase he put it on the nightstand so that when she woke up it would be the first thing that she saw. Jack did a double take as he noticed the only other thing on the nightstand besides her alarm clock and a bottle of water, was a recent framed picture.

It hadn't been there on Friday when he had arranged the roses on her bed, which meant she had gotten it developed over the weekend. Placing the small dinner tray down, he lifted the picture up and studied it, a smile lighting his face.

It was from Christmas Eve with Jack and Carly on the couch, Sage between them, J.J. to the right of Jack, and Parker on the left of Carly. They were all in mid laugh because when Emma had snapped the picture Holden had just stepped on one the donkeys from Ethan's Fisher Price Farm and was doing an interesting dance while trying not to curse.

Carly shifted in her sleep, a soft whimper on her lips. Jack looked over at her and noticed that her brow was furrowed and she wore a frown. Whatever she was dreaming about, it wasn't good. Jack placed the photo down and laid his hand on her hair. Stroking it gently away from her face, he bent down to kiss her forehead.

"Shhhh, you're okay." Jack whispered and almost immediately Carly seemed to relax. He laid his cheek against hers for a moment and then stood up straight. Picking up the tray again he made his way back downstairs, the scent of her vanilla and strawberry shampoo clinging to him.

Jack polished off what was supposed to be Carly's food rather quickly, read the newspaper, and even watched some sports highlights before he admitted to himself that he was utterly bored. Divine intervention seemed to strike as the ice maker in the freezer suddenly began making a noise similar to a fire breathing dragon. Jumping off the couch Jack decided it was high time he did some maintenance around the house that he hadn't really ever had time to do before.

It was almost one in the afternoon when he glanced down at his watch again. Edging out from where he was now tightening the pipes under the sink, Jack remembered that he had to pick up J.J. for his dentist appointment in an hour. Looking down at his messy clothes, Jack frowned and hastily put his tools away before heading to use the kids' bathroom.

It was only when he emerged from the hot shower that he realized he hadn't brought the overnight bag that normally stayed in his car inside. The only other place that he knew he had spare clothes was in the master bedroom closet where Carly had kept a few of his things in the back.

Drying off briskly and wrapping his towel around his waist, he padded silently back into the room while making sure he stayed as quiet as possible. Rummaging around in the walk in closet he found a couple of his dress shirts, a pair of dark blue jeans, and a pair of black dress slacks.

Grabbing the pair of jeans and one of the shirts, Jack backed out of the closet. He turned and stopped short upon seeing Carly staring back at him.

Her observant blue eyes traveled from his damp hair to his chest then down to where his one hand was holding the towel in place, low around his hips, before moving back up to his face. He saw her cheeks darken and she blinked up at him slowly, the sleepiness that was there replaced by something else that made him swallow hard.

"What are you doing?" She asked quietly.

"I, uh, needed a change of clothes after my shower." Jack said, holding up the shirt and jeans in his other hand as if to show her proof.

"I see." Carly said, still not moving in the bed. She seemed perfectly content to just stare up at him from her pillow. "And why did you need to take a shower?"

"Ahem," Jack replied, clearing his throat, and shifted as her eyes roamed over him again. "I, um, I was fixing some stuff around the house and got dirty."

"I see." She repeated and then fell silent. Jack waited a few moments in the silence and then took the opportunity to hold up the clothes again.

"This is one of my favorite shirts, by the way. Why do you still have it?" Jack asked.

"It looked better on me." Carly said calmly and gave a small shrug under the covers. Jack's mouth went dry as he looked at the deep, sapphire blue, button down shirt again and remembered the last time he had worn it.

It had been from that last real Valentine's Day together. Back before the Nick Kasnoff fiasco, along with Jack's ego, had dictated one of the worst decisions of his life; going through with the divorce from Carly.

That Valentine's Day, after they had come home from her surprising him at the police station, Carly had pretty much ripped the shirt off of him in record time. Not that Jack had minded since he pretty much did the same thing with her seductive little outfit. And later on, after he had given her the necklace he had bought her and they had made love a second time on the couch, Carly had forgone putting her red satin robe back on, opting for his button down instead.

Jack remembered clearly that, of all the things that happened that night, watching her sashay up the stairs in just his shirt with her derriere peeking out from under the tail of it had been probably one of the most blood pumping images he had ever seen. He didn't even know if his feet had touched more than two stairs in total as he had laughingly chased after her. Upon finally catching her at the foot of their bed, that favorite shirt of his had quickly found its way to the floor as he showed her again just how much he loved her.

Coming back to the present, Jack was aware that he was standing in front of Carly in nothing but a towel. He was also aware that if they kept talking like this and she kept staring at him the way she was, he would have a growing problem underneath that towel.

Clearing his throat again, Jack shifted while trying to ignore the lower half of his body.

"I'm gonna, um, go get dressed and heat up your soup. You still think you can eat?" Jack said, purposely focusing on the fact that Carly was sick instead of how he could see the top of her pajamas gaping open slightly before the blankets on the bed covered the rest of her up.

She frowned in confusion and then remembered why Jack was there in the first place. Eye widening, Carly's hand touched her stomach gently under the covers and bit her lip. But Jack only saw her facial movement and took it to mean that she was apprehensive about eating.

"You really should try since you haven't eaten all day. Just a little soup and maybe some toast?" Jack said and Carly nodded. "Okay, I'll be back in a bit."

Carly watched him leave and then let out a huge sigh when she heard him head into the boys' room to change. The image of him standing in what was once their bedroom together, dripping wet and in only a towel had caused a surge of heat from the very bottom of Carly's toes. Apparently even being pregnant and having horrible morning sickness hadn't curbed her desire for Jack Snyder. In fact, she could have sworn it had only enhanced it. Carly closed her eyes and took deep breaths, trying to calm her body down. As she did, she forced herself to think about something else,_ anything el_s_e_, other than pulling Jack down into this bed with her and having her way with him.

"Well, that's one way for him to find out about this baby." Carly laughed wryly to herself. Jack knew her body so intimately that even the throes of passion wouldn't be able to stop him from discovering her secret. Laughing again, she took in another couple of deep breaths to starve off the hysteria that threatened to over take her.

"Nauseous again?" Jack's voice startled her when she was in mid breath and her eyes flew open to see him standing in the doorway with a tray in his hands.

"Um, yeah, a little. I'm fine now." Carly said and Jack raised an eyebrow at her choice of words. She gave him an exasperated look and half-smiled, sitting up in the bed. "No, really, I'm fine. And hungry too."

Jack moved forward to place the tray on the night stand before helping her place a pillow behind her back. Carly sighed and indulged him, wiggling into the bed properly as he put the tray across her legs.

"I've got to go take J.J. to the dentist, but I'll be back soon okay?" Jack said and Carly looked up at him.

"No, Jack, really please don't. Just take him back to the farm with you and I'll call you in a couple days to let you when you can bring the kids back over."

"Carly, would you let me stay by myself if _I_ was sick?" Jack asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yes, if you asked me to." Carly said and Jack just continued to stare at her until she sighed again, rolling her eyes. "All right, maybe not."

"See?" Jack said and smirked in triumph.

"But you would be arguing too so don't look so smug, Jack." Carly said and almost smiled back. She immediately distracted herself by tasting the soup and nodding in surprise. "Not bad."

"I can cook, thank you very much. Most times, better than you." Jack pointed out and Carly just made a noncommittal noise.

Suddenly Jack's face grew serious and he reached out a hand to run his index finger down the side of Carly's face. Her heart began to pound and she bit the inside of her cheek as she resisted the urge to lean into his touch.

"Let me take care of you, okay?" Jack said softly and Carly felt her resolve slip that much more.

It would be so easy to say yes; to let him pamper her like he used to do before their lives turned into chaos.

But then, who was she kidding? Their lives almost always turned into chaos when they were together and just because he was here now when he thought she was sick, didn't mean he would be there when the times got tough again. He had proven that in more serious situations than her having "the flu"; the instance in the cave with Nick immediately springing to her mind.

Those thoughts brought her back to the place she needed to be and gathering her strength, she put on a falsely cheerful tone.

"No really, Jack, it's okay. Lee is done work in a little bit and he's coming over to be with me." Carly said, focusing on eating her soup instead of having to look at Jack's face.

"How does he know you're sick?" Jack asked, his voice skeptical.

"I called when you were downstairs just now. He said he'll be over as soon as his shift ends to do whatever it takes to make me feel better." Carly said, intentionally putting a double innuendo to her words.

"Oh." Jack said and even without looking up at him, she could hear the hurt and disappointment in his tone. Then a hint of anger slipped in as he added, "And who better than your handsome doctor boyfriend to take care of you, right?"

Telling herself not to cry at what she was doing, she nodded.

"Yep." Carly said and bracing herself she finally lifted her head, pasting a smile on her lips. "But thanks for doing all of this though, Jack. It was really sweet."

Jack blinked and then put a false smile on his own face. He would be damned if he let her see how much her blasé words were affecting him.

"Of course. Anytime." Jack said and then hitched his thumbs over his shoulders. "I better go. J.J.'s teeth await."

He moved towards the door and despite Carly feeling that she was doing what she had to do, she realized that she couldn't leave it like that.

"Jack, wait." She said and he turned to look at her. Meaning it from the bottom of her heart she added, "Really…thank you for today."

But Carly could tell that the damage had already been done when Jack just shrugged.

"Nothing Lee wouldn't have done if he had been here, right?" Jack said jokingly and Carly winced inwardly at the slightly caustic edge to his statement. "Just, get some sleep okay? I'll tell the kids you'll call them tonight if you feel up to it."

Carly could only nod, not trusting herself to not cry if she spoke, and then watched as he slipped out the door. A few minutes later she heard the front door close followed by the sound of his car driving away.

The smell of the soup in her lap was longer appetizing to Carly at all. In fact, the baby must have agreed because once again her stomach did a complete flip. Placing the tray as far away from her on the nightstand as she could, Carly tried the technique that Jack had shown her. Picturing his face and the sound of his voice, she breathed deeply. Within minutes the nausea was gone.

Closing her eyes tightly, tears slipped out from the corners and slid down her cheeks. Even when he wasn't with her, he still managed to make her world okay.

"Oh, God, help me." She cried softly and placed her hands over her face. Just when she thought she had a grip on the right thing to do, her world would tilt on its axis and up would suddenly be down.

And right now, Carly was hanging on by a thread.

"Baby, is your mommy being an idiot?" Carly asked softly, touching her stomach. She obviously didn't expect an answer but apparently the baby had other idea. An enormous wave of nausea hit Carly again and despite her trying the breathing technique Carly knew this time it wasn't going to be ignored.

"Touché, Baby." Carly managed to get out as she once again bolted for the bathroom."Touché."


	35. All People Start as Babies

**_Author's Note: So I'm still in real time but this is most likely the last chapter that will do that. Mostly because I'm pretty sure that if I tried to keep that going the updates would be only about once a month and you all would find me and kill me. LOL  
_****  
_I would also like to point out that yes, I know Carly is being stubborn but I guess I feel that she has had to endure so much baggage with Jack's constant swaying the past few years that she deserves to be a little bit stubborn if she wants to be. But then again, we all know what the G-man can do if he puts his mind to it ;-) Enjoy!  
~JP_**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Babies are such a nice way to start people"  
__-Don Herold  
_************************************************************************

Jack's cell phone ringing loudly and echoing in his room was cause for him to nearly fall out of his bed. Glancing at the clock with bleary eyes, he was dimly aware that the ringing had stopped and the call had apparently gone to voicemail. Muttering under his breath, he closed his eyes again to try and fall back asleep.

It might have been three o'clock on a Saturday afternoon but Jack had been working the graveyard shift the entire week and today marked the first day he had off.

After Carly had dismissed him the day he tried to take care of her, he had slunk back to the farm to lick his wounds. The kids had noticed his low mood and stayed relatively well behaved all weekend. Of course that was minus a few petty squabbles that, thankfully, Emma had broken up with just a sharp look.

Parker had tried to ask what had happened but Jack had evaded the question with the skill of his ex-wife. He had done it almost as well as he had evaded Holden and Brad's inquiries into how plan "Return of the G-man" was working.

So when news got around that Sunday about how Ken McKnicky had twisted his ankle on a bad bust and they were down an officer, Jack had immediately volunteered his services. He knew that it was a desperate attempt to try and escape the prying questions from his family and he didn't care. All he knew was that the extra work was also helping him suppress the need to go over to Milltown and physically shake some sense into Carly.

Jack's cell phone started ringing again and slapping a hand around his night table, he finally found the annoying piece of technology.

"Snyder." Jack mumbled into the phone.

"Jack, wake up. You're never going to guess…" Emma's voice started to say and he frowned.

"Emma? Where are you? I thought you were downstairs." Jack said, his brain still fuzzy.

"Jack, I told you I was going to the store two hours ago." Emma said in exasperation and the returned to what she had been saying. "But listen, you're never going to guess…"

"Emma…Emma, please. I am too tired to do this. Is this an immediate emergency?" Jack asked.

"Well, no, but…" Emma tried again but Jack cut her off.

"Then I'm not awake enough to play the 'guess what' game. I'll see you when you get home and you can tell me then." Jack said and amid her protests, he hung up the phone. Noticing the sun was moving into position to peer through his shades, Jack groaned as he placed his head under the pillow.

While Emma had sounded in a hurry, he detected no trace of real panic in her voice which meant no one's house was on fire. And quite frankly, other than a miscalculation and the Bears were actually in the NFL playoffs and someone had tickets, a fire was the only reason that he was going to be moving from his bed for the next 24 hours.

The cell phone began ringing again and with a half whine, half whimper he unburied his head to answer it. This time he didn't even get to open his mouth before Emma started talking.

"Jack Michael Snyder if you _ever_ hang up on me again you are going to be sorrier than you have ever been in your life!" Emma yelled and he could hear her stomp her foot on the floor of wherever she was at. "Listen to me! I've been trying to tell you that Meg is labor!"

Thirty-five minutes later Jack ran into the waiting area of the maternity ward at Oakdale Memorial with an exhausted but alert face. He had dressed in a simple gray sweater and jeans with his black leather coat, which caused Emma to give him a hard mothering look. Jack just kissed her cheek and shrugged.

"I don't remember where I put my winter coat. I wanted to get here as fast as I could."

"Hmm," Emma said and then shook her head.

"How's Meg? Any news?" Jack said hurriedly and caught sight of Holden staring at him oddly out of the corner of his eye.

"What?" Jack asked huffily, running a hand over the five o'clock shadow that was threatening to become a seven o'clock one if he didn't shave soon.

"Dude, you look like crap." Holden said, eyeing his cousin.

"Yeah, well you try going into work at seven at night until seven in the morning with nothing but bad coffee and stale donuts to keep you going." Jack said and Holden held up his hands.

"No thanks. That's all yours."

"Seriously though, any news?" Jack said and Emma beamed.

"Eliza Jane arrived about five minutes after I called you. Seven pounds, eight ounces, 20 inches long."

"Thanks fantastic!" Jack said, hugging Emma tightly. Pulling away he grinned back at her. "Have you seen her yet?"

"No, but Paul should be back out any minute now so…" Emma trailed off, her emotions getting the best of her.

"Oh great, now do you see what you did?" Holden said, but his eyes were twinkling and the joy couldn't be missed on his face. "I _just_ got her to stop crying!"

"Oh shut up, Holden. My baby girl just had her own baby. I'm allowed to be a basket case if I want to be." Emma said, slapping her son's arm gently as he pulled her to his side in a half hug.

"You are allowed to be as happy and as much of a basket case as you want." Jack said agreed firmly.

"Well if the look of complete and utter goofiness that was on Paul's face when he came out to tell us the news is anything to go by, I think everyone in there is happy too." Holden said laughing.

"Did we miss the fun?" Lily's voice called out. They turned to see her walking towards them with Ethan in her arms and Faith and Natalie right behind her. Jack paused seeing Carly and Sage were also heading their way.

"Daddy!" Sage cried and ran to jump in his arms.

"Hey, Princess." Jack said catching her and holding her close. An unfortunate side effect of the graveyard shift was that when he wasn't working he had no energy to do anything but sleep. Therefore he hadn't seen the kids in more than passing at the farm for the last week and had missed them horribly.

"I missed you!" Sage said hugging his neck, letting him know that he wasn't the only who had felt that way.

"I missed you too, Baby. What are you doing here?" Jack asked finally letting her go even though she hugged his waist, apparently not ready to do the same to him.

"We were all at the mall together when Holden called." Lily said handing Ethan over to Holden when the little boy reached out for his father.

"So, did Aunt Meg have the baby?" Faith asked, her eyes shining in anticipation.

"Yep, you guys have a new little baby cousin. Her name is Eliza and thankfully she apparently looks like her mom." Holden said and Emma elbowed him in the ribs.

"Aw, we missed it!" Natalie whined, not bothering to consider the fact that they wouldn't have been allowed in the delivery room anyway. Suddenly she brightened and gave him a smile. "Can we see her?"

"Well, I don't…" Holden started to say but the maternity ward doors opening stopped him.

"Hey, guys." Paul walked out, still wearing his scrubs and the most idiotic smile on his face.

"Uncle Paul, can we see the baby?" Natalie asked again, not being thrown from her quest for a second.

"Well, they did get your Aunt Meg set up in her room but kids aren't really allowed to be in there." Paul said held up a hand at the beginnings of whines. "But I talked to the nurses and they said that while the grownups visited Aunt Meg for a little bit, I can bring you guys to the nursery window for a peek."

"Awesome! Can we go now?" Faith said and Paul laughed.

"I don't see why not." Paul said and held out his hands for Ethan, who happily went to him. Turning to the others he smiled. "The nurse's desk is just to the left when you walk in and Meg is about three doors down in room 234."

They all nodded and Carly, who had stood back from the others, took this opportunity to reach out and take Sage's hand.

"Come on, Sage." She said but the little girl balked.

"But, Mommy, I wanna see the baby." Sage said, frowning.

Carly's eyes darted up to Jack's face and then away again. The last place she wanted to be around with Jack right now was the maternity ward.

"Sage," Carly said, trying to keep the desperation out of her voice as she spoke to her daughter.

"Carly, it's okay. The baby is Sage's cousin too." Jack said, frowning at Carly's behavior.

She looked up at the confused faces of the adults and, with an internal sigh, she nodded as she let Sage go.

"Just not too long, okay Sweetie? We have to head home to get ready to take J.J. to his hockey game." Carly said and with apologetic smile, kissed Sage's cheek.

Sage nodded and then bounced off to follow Paul and the other kids back towards the nursery viewing window.

The adults all turned to head to Meg's room but again Carly held back. Jack paused and looked at her.

"You're not coming?" He asked and Carly shook her head, giving him a small smile.

"Nah, it should just be family. I'll wait for Sage out here." Carly said, moving back towards the waiting room chairs and in a very non graceful move, accidently fell into one. Playing it off with another smile, she motioned them on. "Go ahead, I'll be fine. Give Meg my congratulations."

Neither Emma nor Holden needed any more encouragement and disappeared behind the maternity ward doors, but both Lily and Jack hesitated. Jack motioned with his head for Lily to go on and with a last confused stare at Carly, she did just that.

Jack walked over to sit next to Carly who gritted her teeth and tried not to look too annoyed.

"What, Jack?" She asked and he tilted his head at her.

"Why don't you want to go see Meg?" Jack asked her back.

"Like I said, it should really just be family."

"Meg considers you family and you know it."

"Jack, while Meg and I get along pretty well, I think that might be pushing it just a bit." Carly said rolling her eyes.

"I don't think so." Jack said and Carly decided to take another approach.

"Look, as someone who has actually given birth please trust me when I say that the last thing Meg wants or needs right now is more people in that room than necessary."

"Hmm, good point." Jack replied, crossing his arms as he leaned back in the waiting room chair.

"What are you doing?" Carly asked, perplexed at his new position, and he shrugged.

"You're right. I think Meg is probably exhausted and I don't want to overwhelm her."

"Jack, that's not what I meant. You're like a brother to her; of course she'll want to see you."

"Okay, then when Lily and Holden come back, you and I can go say a quick hi." Jack said, glancing over at her.

"Jack, you are not listening to me. I don't want to go in there with you!" Carly said and immediately regretted her words and panicked tone when Jack sat straight up.

"Okay, what the hell is going on Carly? You're acting really off." Jack said bluntly and Carly gave a small laugh.

"What? Just because I don't want to go see _your _cousin with you, I'm 'off', Jack? I think I'm acting perfectly normal." Carly said, using the panic she felt to fake indignation.

"Then just tell me the truth, Carly. Why don't you want to go see Meg and the baby?" Jack asked and Carly sighed loudly.

"Look, I don't like hospitals, okay? They've never been a really good place for me so I'd rather just visit them when they go home." Carly tried to bluff, even though some of what she said was partly true; Carly did hate hospitals.

"That must be hard when you have a doctor for a boyfriend." Jack said sarcastically and then sighed as he watched Carly's eyes flash.

"Jack, don't start." Carly said, her voice filled with part weariness and part anger.

"I'm sorry. You're right." Jack said, making Carly blink in surprise before letting out a small laugh. Jack looked at her in confusion. "What's so funny?'

"You've told me that I was right twice in the last ten minutes, which is almost as many times as you have said it in all the years I've known you."

Jack gave her a small half-crooked smile and Carly felt her heart jump. How could he make her so annoyed one minute and want to kiss him silly the next? She shifted in her seat and looked away at the clock on the wall to distract herself.

"It was nice seeing Sage today. I really missed the kids this week." Jack said and Carly's eyes swung to him at the change in subject.

"Yeah, they missed you too. But they understood about Ken and everything." Carly said and Jack had to smile at her casual use of his fellow officer's name.

Even with her run-ins with the law, when they were married Carly had taken being a cop's wife very seriously. Even now she still remembered all of the officers' names that he served with along with most of their wives too. Jack knew that during the brief time that he had gone missing after his accident, the Oakdale P.D. had looked after her and his kids in true blue honor code. Despite everything that had happened since then, Carly had never really forgotten that time and from the way they spoke to Jack about her, the officers that had been around then hadn't either.

"Well I was thinking about going to the skating rink on Monday with them since they have off for Martin Luther King Day." Jack said and Carly nodded.

"They'd love that. And I'm sure J.J. can't wait to show off how much ice he can shave up with the new sliding stop that Parker taught him." She said smiling. "Just let me know what time and I'll make sure they're ready."

"No, you don't understand." Jack said and he took her hand, rubbing his thumb across the back of her knuckles. "I thought maybe we could all go. You know, like we used to. The kids would love it and so would I."

Carly slid her hand out from his and brought it up to lightly scratch by her collarbone in a nervous gesture.

"Jack, I don't think that's a good idea." Carly said, shaking her head at the same time. "Besides I have to work."

"Carly, first off all, Metro isn't even open on Monday. And second of all, you're part owner. I think you can take the morning or afternoon to come skating with your family."

"Jack, you have to stop this, please. We're not a family anymore. At least, not that way." Carly said, trying to push the tight feeling in her chest back down.

"Come on, Carly. You want us to be together just as much as I do only _you're_ too scared to admit it."

"That's not true." Carly protested and Jack narrowed his eyes, moving closer.

"You're lying." He said, inches from her face.

"You hope." The words slipped out of Carly's mouth before she truly knew what she was saying. At Jack's smug little smile, she knew that she had played right into his hands.

"I'm not playing this memory lane game with you, Jack." Carly said shaking her head sadly and standing up. "It doesn't help anything."

Jack looked up at her then stood too, reaching out to grip her arms firmly. His gaze was intense as he stared into her blue eyes.

"Yes, it does. It just proves that there is too much history between us, Carly, for you to let it go so easily."

"_Easily_? You think anything about this is _easy_?" Carly said, tears forming in her eyes. "How many times, Jack? How many times have I stood in the position you are in now, asking you to remember what we had but _you _refused to listen?"

Jack opened his mouth to speak but she placed her fingertips over his mouth and shook her head.

"No, Jack, don't. We are just going over the same things again and again and I can't do it. I'm too damn tired of this merry-go-round. I want…no, I _need_ to get off."

Carly searched his face and then realizing what she had done with her fingers, dropped her hand to her side and stepped out of his grip.

"So that's it? I'm supposed to let you go. Just like that?" Jack asked and Carly shook her head again.

"No. You're supposed to let me move on with my life and try to move forward too."

"Because you're supposedly in love with Lee?" Jack asked and Carly frowned at his words. "You've only known him a little over two months, Carly. We've been in each other's souls for years. There's no comparison."

"Oh, well, excuse me, Mr. Righteous! How long, exactly, were you seriously dating Janet before you proposed? And I think the day after we almost made love would be a good place to start counting." Carly demanded with her entire body stiffening in anger. "What would it be then? Two? Three weeks?"

"What happened with Janet was a mistake. Just like the mistake you're making with Lee." Jack said and she glared at him harder.

"Don't you _dare_ compare them! Lee is a good man and you know it." Carly said, pointing a finger into Jack's chest. But almost as quickly as the anger had come into her eyes, it was gone; replaced by a plea.

"Jack, if you really love me just let me be happy. Let's just accept that what we had was beautiful but it's over. And that no matter what happens in the future that might look like it would change that fact, it can't ever happen again."

Jack stood there, momentarily confused by her words. But then he just shook his own head, his jaw setting in a stubborn line.

"No."

"No?" Carly repeated in shock. Of all the reactions she thought she would get, that one worded answer was not one of them.

"I'm not letting you go without a fight this time, Carly." Jack said and stepped forward. Ignoring every warning sign her body language was giving off he grabbed her arms again, this time pulling her to him.

Sliding his hand behind her head he lowered his mouth to hers and absorbed the soft sigh of surprise that escaped her into his kiss. His tongue traced the seal of her lips until he felt them part slightly, giving him the access he wanted. Jack was aware that she was holding her body away from his by placing her hands on his chest between them, but she was also surrendering into his kiss more and more.

A loud voice over the intercom interrupted them and with the crackling page of "Dr. Lee Reynolds", Carly seemed to snap back into reality. Jerking herself out of Jack's grip, she backed up with wide eyes, pressing her fingertips to her own lips this time.

"Carly," Jack started to say but the maternity ward doors opened and the sound of the Snyder clan surrounded them.

"Oh my god, Mommy, she is so cute!" Sage said hurrying over to where Carly and Jack stood. She was so completely moonstruck by baby Eliza that she didn't even begin to notice the tension between her parents. "She had the tiniest little fingers and toes and I swear she smiled at me!"

Carly gathered herself together long enough to try and focus on what Sage was saying. Running a hand over her daughter's braids, she smiled.

"Well, babies that age can't smile yet, Sweetie, but I'm sure when she gets older she'll give you all the smiles you want."

"I wish I had a little baby brother or sister." Sage said sighing and all of the color seemed to drain out of Carly's face.

"Sage…" She started to say but abruptly changed course. "We need to go, Baby. J.J.'s game starts in a couple hours and still I have to make dinner."

"I'll drive you home." Jack said, eager to try and continue their conversation, and Carly truly began to internally hyperventilate.

There was no way that Sage would ride home in the car with both her and Jack and not mentioning them having another baby. It just wasn't cosmically possible in their world. And there was also no way that Carly could stand that ride and those questions and still keep her sanity.

Lily wasn't sure what was going on, but as she watched Carly closely she had the distinct impression that if she didn't get her best friend out of there in the next minute or so, Carly was going to have a complete nervous breakdown

"No, that's okay, Jack. All of their things are in the back of my SUV anyway." Lily said and before Jack had a chance to protest, she turned to her kids. "How about you guys head home with Daddy and I'll pick up pizza for dinner after I drop Carly and Sage off?"

"Yeah!" Natalie said and Faith grinned, nodding enthusiastically. They were well aware that tonight was originally going to be meatloaf night and pizza was a _much_ better option in their eyes.

"Yeah!" Ethan echoed although he wasn't really paying attention to what his mommy had been saying. At two and half, he just wanted to do whatever his big sisters wanted to do.

"Okay, then that's settled." Lily said, moving right along and giving each of her kids a quick kiss, before also giving one to Holden. Turning to Carly and Sage, she smiled. "Ready to go?"

Carly nodded, but then moved forward to give Emma a hug.

"Congratulations, Emma. Please tell Meg and Paul that I'm so happy for them and I'll see them soon." She said and a slightly surprised Emma hugged her back.

"Thank you, Carly." She said and Carly quickly stepped back.

"Bye." Carly said, encompassing the rest of them and Jack frowned as she deliberately didn't make eye contact with him. He was about to say something when a loud voice echoed from the area of the elevators.

"Where is my grandchild? Why was I not called before now? Where the hell are the damn doctors?"

They all groaned and braced themselves for what was coming. Carly seized the chance to once again take Sage's hand and pull her towards the exit. This time Sage went willingly and they brushed by an irate Barbara Ryan as they hurried away.

"Well, at least everyone got about an hour of peace before the banshee showed up." Lily muttered under her breath to Carly, low enough that Sage didn't overhear.

"Hmm," was Carly's response and as the elevators opened up, Lily's eyebrow rose.

"Okay, when even a crack about Barbara Ryan doesn't get a response from you, I _know_ something's up. Spill." Lily said and Carly glanced down at Sage. But the little girl had put her headphones from her iPod Nano in her ears and was now ignoring both women, tapping her foot along to whatever song she was listening to.

"Lily," Carly started to say but the brunette shook her head.

"Don't even try it! I have a feeling that I just saved your butt up there and so help me, Carly, before this day is over you're going to tell me what's going on." Lily said and at the determined look in her friend's eye, Carly knew that she was serious.

Despite being able to hear Sage's music through the headphones, which meant she couldn't hear a word they were saying Carly still leaned over and whispered into Lily's ear.

"I'm pregnant."

There was a distinct pause followed by...

"_What?_"

Lily's cry was loud enough that even Sage looked up in surprise. But at Lily and Carly's reassuring, although somewhat shaky smiles, she immediately went back to her music.

As soon as Sage's attention was back where it belonged, Carly shot a small glare at Lily.

"I'm sorry. It just kinda…slipped out." Lily said, shrugging in an apology as the elevator doors opened up into the parking garage.

As they made their way to Lily's silver Nissan Armada, neither one said anything until they were all buckled up. Glancing in the rearview mirror to make sure Sage was still bopping her head along to her music, Lily turned to Carly.

"Jack doesn't know yet, does he?" She asked and Carly looked over at her in slight surprise. Lily just stared back, not a hint of uncertainty about her comment in her face.

Instead of arguing with her, Carly just shook her head noiselessly and turned to stare out the window. Lily let out a sigh as she started the vehicle and they drove back to Milltown in silence.

As soon as they pulled up, Sage hopped out of the SUV. With a thank you thrown over her shoulder she bounded into the house announcing that they were home. Lily helped Carly get the shopping bags out of the back and finally spoke up again.

"So when are you going to tell him?" Lily asked, pausing to lean on tailgate edge of the open trunk.

Carly noticed that Lily hadn't asked _if_ she was going to tell Jack and knew that her words were on purpose. Sighing she leaned on the right side taillight of the SUV.

"I don't know. I have my first ultrasound on Friday and I guess I'll just go from there." Carly said and Lily frowned.

"Are you going to see Dr. Schiller?"

"No, I have an appointment with a doctor over in Heathersford. He was recommended by the doctor I saw out in LA. He specializes in…high risk pregnancies."

Even though Lily didn't agree with what she was doing, she could hear the fear in Carly's voice as she uttered those last few words. Lily reached out to place her hand on Carly's arm.

"Do you want me to come with you?" She asked, softly and Carly smiled gratefully but shook her head.

"No, I just want…I just want it to be me the first time. I can't explain it. Once I know that the baby is okay then maybe I can…" Carly trailed off and Lily finished for her.

"…tell Jack without worrying that something might go wrong."

Carly looked into Lily's eyes and gave a shaky smile. "Yeah, something like that."

Lily looked into Carly's eyes again and sighed. "Okay, as long as you promise to call me as soon as you get out of the doctor's office."

"I promise." Carly replied and Lily leaned forward to hug her friend.

"It'll be okay, ya know?" Lily whispered into her ear. Pulling away again, she smiled softly and tilted her head.

"Did you ever think that maybe this baby is coming for a reason? That he or she was supposed to bring you and Jack back together for good?"

She didn't let Carly respond, only pressed a cheek kiss to her face and stood back to close the hatch of the SUV.

"I'll call you later." Lily said and hopped into the car leaving Carly waving on the sidewalk to the house, pondering her last sentence.

"Mom, J.J. stole my iDog and he won't tell me where he hid it!" Sage yelled from the doorway. Carly shook herself out of her thoughts and rolled her eyes,as she went to go referee the anarchy inside her house.

As for Lily, she was so preoccupied with what she had just learned that it wasn't until she was five miles from her home that she realized she had completely forgotten to pick up the pizza.


	36. Teens Won't Listen Unless You Explain

**Author's Note: So I'm in a really good mood tonight. Why you might ask? Oh because I talked to Michael Park today on the phone and didn't come across as a complete drooling idiot (which I was!). He is just too fabulous for words and if you get a chance to listen to the interview please do so (michael park online . net /media ...without the spaces). It's totally worth it! And not only did I decide to update my story, I also put a new CarJack video on my YouTube account, so all in all it's been an awesome day!**

**In regards to the story, certain things that happen in this chapter might seem irrelevant, but I promise that nothing happens in this story without a purpose :) Enjoy!  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro."  
__-Dave Barry  
_************************************************************************

The week had been one of the paradoxical things where the days seemed to drag on, but at the end of them one was left asking where the time went.

Carly had told the kids that Jack was taking them ice skating on Monday, intentionally re-enforcing that it was just him and claiming that she had things to do at home. So, when Jack came to the house to get them, they were all ready and waiting while she was deliberately still in her bathrobe. She could see the disappointment and frustration in his eyes, but he just tightened his jaw and stayed silent. Thankfully the kids were so excited to spend the day with their father after not seeing him for the past week that they just piled into his car without noticing the looks exchanged between their parents.

Jack and Carly didn't really talk the rest of the week and she knew it was mainly because if they did have words, they weren't going to be pleasant ones. She kept her promise and went to visit Meg and baby Eliza when they were brought home, even though it was on a day that she was sure Jack was working and couldn't pop in to say hi as well. It had been a nice visit, with Meg looking exhausted but happy and Paul running around looking as harried as a new father usually does. Carly had to cover once when she found herself crying as she held a sleeping Eliza in her arms. Meg looked extremely concerned but Carly brushed it off as normal woman hormones that happened when she held a baby. The visit had been cut short after that, but not before Meg had gotten Carly to agree to design a special gown for Eliza's christening.

When Friday finally rolled around, she casually mentioned a "last minute business meeting" and arranged for Sage to go Lily's house with Natalie in case she wasn't home in time for the bus. Parker and J.J. both had after school sports so she wasn't worried about them. Knowing the truth, Lily offered again to go to the doctor with her but Carly just hugged her friend and re-affirmed that she wanted to do this one on her own.

Which was how, at noon in a town 40 miles away, Carly ended up on a gynelogical exam table with her legs nervously dangling in between the stirrups. She was half raised up on her elbows as she took in the warm colored room. Her eyes caught the ultrasound machine in the corner and she was staring at it so intently that she didn't know the doctor had come in until he spoke.

"Oh don't worry, Ms. Tenney. We'll get to that soon enough."

Carly's eyes flew to the man talking and almost instantly she relaxed. The man was average height and looked to be in his late 50s to early 60s, with kind brown eyes and thinning brown hair. He had a mustache that looked like it tickled his nose when he smiled, which by the laugh lines at his eyes was often.

"Hi. Doctor Adams?" Carly asked, struggling to sit up right and still keep the gown relatively closed.

"Oh please don't bother trying to sit up. I'm sure you'd rather stayed as clothed as possible until you feel more comfortable." Dr. Adams said, his eyes twinkling in a smile.

Carly blushed and then smiled back. "Yes, thank you."

"Let me see here," Dr. Adams said, settling down on the rolling stool that was by the sink counter and looking over her charts. "Says here you were recommended by Nancy! How is she? I haven't talked to her in a while."

"She's good. Very nice woman." Carly said simply.

"Yes, she's one of my favorite former partners. Not to mention my favorite ex-wife." Dr. Adams said and let out a laugh when Carly's eyes widened. "It was a long time ago when we were very young but I am happy to say that we still remain very good friends. I even golf with her husband and sons when I'm out in the California area."

Carly was speechless for one of the rare times in her life but in way she was thrilled with the surprising news. Any woman who could remain good friends with her ex-husband _and_ still recommend him to patients must have complete faith in the man.

"So Carly…may I call you Carly?" Dr. Adams asked and at her nod he continued. "What do you say we get down to the hard stuff?"

Dr, Adams conducted the pelvic and internal exam with a gentleness and ease that told Carly why he and Dr. Meyers had gone into business together. They must have had a client list that had a 5 year waiting list if this was how they practiced.

After re-iterating the due date details that Nancy had gone over in California, he rolled the ultrasound machine towards the exam table.

"Are you ready to see your baby?" Dr. Adams asked and Carly beamed at him.

"Very ready." She answered and then winced as the nurse that had come in to help, spread the conductive jelly on to Carly's abdomen.

Dr. Adams turned on the machine and then with the transducer began sliding it across her stomach. An instant later, a small black, grey, and white grainy image appeared on the screen.

"Ah, you have a very healthy looking baby in there, Carly." Dr. Adams said, approvingly and Carly's eyes took in every fuzzy little detail. Dr. Adams smiled and then flipped a switch, before placing another wand on Carly's stomach.

A sound filled the room, not unlike someone banging a snare drum inside of a wind tunnel. Carly looked at Dr. Adams who smiled back at her.

"Who has a very healthy heartbeat too."

Carly just shook her head lightly in wonder, the sound she was listening to consuming her attention.

"Why don't you go get dressed and by the time you are done, the printout from the machine will be ready and waiting." Dr. Adams suggested and with a small dazed smile, Carly did just that.

When she came back out, gently smoothing her thick winter weight peasant top over her stomach, she shivered in anticipation. It was real to her now; her and Jack's baby. There was truly a little person inside of her that combined the best of both of them and Carly couldn't help but be enormously happy no matter what the underlying situation was.

"Carly, why don't you have a seat in a normal chair and we can talk, okay?" Dr. Adams said and silently Carly sat where he gestured.

"First I want to say that everything looks great so far. The heartbeat rate was where it should be, your vital signs are good, and the gestational sac looks healthy."

"But?" Carly said, hearing it in the doctor's voice.

"But I know that _you_ know the reason Nancy referred you to me is because I primarily deal in high risk cases." Dr. Adams said and settled into his stool, crossing his arms over his chest. "I have read your medical history and conferred with Dr. Schiller."

Carly's eyes flashed and he held up a hand to stop her before she started.

"When I say I conferred with Dr. Schiller, I mean _only_ Dr. Schiller. She is a good doctor and she understands patient confidentiality. You need to understand that in order for me to help you and this baby properly I need to have all the information."

Carly thought a moment and then sighed, knowing that he was right. She had never had a problem with Dr. Schiller before so why would she now? Carly looked up from where she was twisting her hands and nodded for him to continue.

"As Nancy mentioned to you the risk of you developing pre-eclampsia again with this pregnancy is extremely high. However, I have worked with many of these cases in my time and I want you to know that I'm going to do whatever I can to make sure that you and your baby make it through safely."

"Thank you." Carly said, no other words sounding appropriate.

"Okay, so here's the game plan. I want to see you back here in three weeks to do some screen testing. These will help determine any health risks that the baby might have such as Downs Syndrome or trisomy 18. I didn't see anything abnormal on the ultrasound but it is very early to tell and those tests will give us a clearer picture."

"Your professional opinion, Doctor, do you think my baby will be okay?" Carly asked, the sonogram photo that he had handed to her earlier clutched firmly in her hands.

"Carly, I promise you that I don't sugarcoat things. It takes too much time and doesn't do anyone any good. And right now, I'm being honest when I say that it really _is_ too early to tell."

"Okay. I'm going to hold you to that 'no sugarcoating' thing." Carly said and Dr. Adam's smiled widely at her.

"Somehow my dear, I'm not surprised."

After shaking the doctor's hand and receiving her prescription for her pre-natal vitamins, Carly moved out to the front desk to set up her next appointment. She had just finished receiving the business card with the date written on it when someone bumped into her shoulder.

"I'm sorry." The voice said and Carly froze upon recognizing it. Praying she was wrong, she turned slowly only to be met with the blue eyes she was hoping not to see.

"Carly?" Liberty's voice went up an octave even as her eyes widened.

"Hi." Carly said and she just blinked, her brain pretty much shutting off as she stared at the teenaged girl.

"What…what are you doing here?" Liberty asked, tucking a strand of long brown hair nervously behind her ear.

Carly panicked for a split second and then her uncanny ability to fabricate a story on a whim kicked in.

"I needed a last minute routine test done, but my doctor in Oakdale was booked up. She was able to get me an appointment with one of the doctors here instead."

Liberty paused, thinking for a moment, but then nodded her head slowly apparently buying the story. Then Carly's "mom switch" turned on and she frowned at the young girl.

"But I guess I could ask you the same thing. Aren't you supposed to be in school?" Carly said and Liberty blinked in a similar motion to what Carly did a few moments ago.

"Um…well, I had to get more B.C. pills but the private clinic in Oakdale is like, anything but private, and I can't go to the hospital cause that's like telling the whole town through a bullhorn and…oh God, please don't tell my mom." Liberty rambled on as her defiant look slipping into a normal freaked out teenaged girl.

Carly studied the girl in front of her and weighed her options.

"Well, that depends." Carly said and Liberty frowned. "Have you eaten lunch yet?"

Liberty looked at Carly in confusion and let out a tentative smile.

"No, not yet."

"Good, me either. What do you say I buy you lunch at the diner I saw down the street and we can talk. Did you drive here?"

"No, I uh, I took the bus."

"Okay then, let's go." Carly ushered the bewildered girl out the door and to her car. They sat in silence the short drive to the diner that Carly mentioned and stayed that way until after the waitress took their orders.

Carly waited patiently for the girl to talk first, calmly sipping on her extra thick vanilla bean milkshake. Liberty anxiously touched every piece of silverware, ripped up her straw wrapper and twisted two paper napkins into something resembling origami swans before she finally broke.

"Look, are you going to tell my mom where I was or not?" Liberty demanded but Carly just pulled her straw out and licked whipped cream off it before sticking it back in her milkshake.

"Why doesn't she know already? I thought Janet was cool with everything?" Carly replied and Liberty sighed.

"She was…I mean, she is. It's just, well, after Parker and I…"" Liberty stopped shortly, glancing up at Carly's face and then down into her cherry coke. She twisted a piece of her hair around one finger and frowned. "My mom said that I should slow down and…she was right."

Liberty looked up sharply at Carly and licked her lips nervously. "I mean, I care about Parker, I really do. He…he is a really special guy."

Carly didn't say anything, just nodded, even though she was screaming on the inside at the reminder of just how much her baby wasn't "a baby" anymore.

"It's too weird…too much…to think about doing that again right now." Liberty said and let go of her hair to take a small sip of her soda.

"Then why…" Carly started to ask and Liberty gave a small smile.

"Why do I need the birth control pills?" Liberty finished for her and at Carly's nod, she sighed. "Honestly, it helps with my cramps and stuff. I didn't even know they could do that but the doctor here said that it's actually the most common reason girls my age go on them. Not sex."

"So why not just tell your mom that?" Carly said, knowing that whatever her personal opinion of Janet was, she loved her daughter.

"Mom's a little pre-occupied these days." Liberty said with a trace of bitterness in her tone. "Besides, then my dad will find out and even though Katie's baby has taken some of the spotlight off of me, this would to send him through the roof. It's just easier this way for now, ya know?"

"Hmm, I see." Carly said and smiled up at the waitress as she placed their food in front of them. Liberty paused as well and then as soon as the waitress moved away she leaned forward.

"Why are you being so nice anyway?" Liberty asked, frowning at the woman across from her. "It's not like you've ever really liked me."

Carly put down the piece of grilled chicken from her salad that she had speared on her fork and sighed.

"Liberty, that's not true. While I you and I have had our problems in the past, I think you are a very bright and sweet girl. I guess the situation between your mom and I clouded a lot of things…"

"…and Parker..." Liberty interjected and Carly paused to acknowledge what she said.

"Yes, and Parker too." Carly said and then tilted her head to look at Liberty closely. "I think you also remind me a bit of myself when I was your age and knowing the path that I headed down, I don't want to see you learn the things that I had to the hard way."

Liberty didn't say anything and reached out to eat a couple of her fries. Chewing thoughtfully, she looked back up at Carly.

"How old were you when you first had sex?" Liberty asked causing Carly to nearly choke on her second attempt to eat her salad. Liberty just took a bite of her cheeseburger and kept going. "I mean, I obviously know when my mom did, which is why she is kinda nuts about the whole thing. I was just wondering about you."

Carly took a long drink from the glass of water that had accompanied her milkshake and gave the girl sitting across from her a long hard look. Then realizing that she had opened this can of worms, she let out a small breath.

"I was fourteen." Carly said, moving pieces of lettuce around in her salad, not needing to look up to see Liberty's astonished stare; she could feel her eyes on her.

"Fourteen?" Liberty repeated and shook her head. She knew that she and Parker had been young but fourteen boggled even her mind.

"I was young and stupid and it hurt like hell. I cried the entire time."

"Then why…?' Liberty trailed off, not sure how to ask the next question.

"Because he said that he loved me and promised he would take me away from…everything." Carly said with her faraway tone of voice eyes telling Liberty that she was momentarily in the past. "It wasn't until a week later that I realized that he had gotten what he wanted and I wasn't going to hear from him again. It took me a long time to trust another guy again and when I did I made an even worse mistake than him. That turned out to be my pattern for a long, long time."

"God, I…I'm sorry." Liberty said, not knowing what else to say.

"It's the past and I can't change that no matter how much I would like to. I was just lucky that I eventually ended up finding someone who showed me what it could be like when you are truly and deeply in love." Carly said and she looked up, thoughtfully. "But there are days when I wonder if I had to go through what I did then just to appreciate the magic that can happen when you find that right person to make love with, not just have sex."

Liberty was quiet for a moment and then glanced away, slightly uncomfortable for the first time in the conversation. Not because of what Carly was saying but because of the awe and love in her voice when she was saying it. No matter how much she cared about Parker, she knew it wasn't even close to how Carly was describing it. Looking back at the woman across from her, she gave a small smile.

"You're talking about Uncle Jack, aren't you?"

Carly didn't answer the question but they both knew she didn't have to. They both started eating again, but then something Parker had said in passing came to the forefront of Carly's mind and she frowned. She knew that Liberty had been sort of seeing one of the football players at the high school since just after New Year's Eve and while she believed the girl's reasons for the birth control pills, she still felt there was something she wasn't saying.

"Look Liberty, here's the thing, okay? I'm not your mom and even if I was, I can't tell you what to do. It's your body and your choice and whether I or anyone else agrees with those choices is irrelevant. But I need you to listen to me for a minute." Carly said and Liberty put her cheeseburger down and stared back at her, the tone of Carly's voice commanding her attention.

"Now, while Janet and I may not ever be anything more than two people who glare at each other from across the street, I still respect the fact that she is your mother and by that same token, I feel that I have to say this on her behalf. No matter what you and your mom are going through right now, she did everything she could to make sure that you had a good life since the moment you were born. Every decision she has made has been to protect you and guide you to the best of her ability and though it may not always be the way _you_ want it to be, that is a mother's prerogative. And until you are a mother yourself…which I hope isn't until you are adequately ready…you won't be able to understand some of the things that she has done. So as a fellow mother, I need to ask you to do something for me, even though ultimately it is for Janet and for yourself."

Liberty still didn't say anything but she gave a small nod of her head and Carly leaned forward.

"You need to promise me that when, not if, but _when_ you decide that you are even _thinking_ about having sex again you will talk to your mom first." Carly said and Liberty's eyes widened and she opened her mouth to speak. Carly held up a hand and shook her head. "I'm not going to tell her about today, because I really do believe what you said about needing the pills and not being ready to have sex again. But I'm also not stupid and I know that things change rapidly when you're a teenager. Please trust me when I say decisions like that are hard enough to make, without lying to the one person who has been by your side your whole life. Your mom deserves that kind of respect and truth from you and I think you know that."

After a tense moment, Liberty nodded again.

"I promise."

Carly nodded back and gave her a small smile. Liberty studied Carly a moment and then returned her smile with one of her own.

"Hey, um, Carly? Thanks."

"For what?" Carly asked, her brow furrowing.

"For being honest…and for giving a damn." Liberty said. She then proceeded to chow down on her food again as if sitting in a diner booth, 40 miles away from home, with her mom's ex-fiancée's ex-wife and talking to her about sex was the most natural thing in the world.

"You're very welcome." Carly said back softly before joining the young girl in finishing up their meal.

But even as Carly paid the check and convinced Liberty that she would drive her home to Brad's house, her last few words of advice nagged at her.

With the sonogram picture and prescription for pre-natal vitamins practically burning a hole in her purse, Carly knew that sooner or later that same honesty policy she was pushing for Liberty would force her to examine what she was doing to Jack.

And no matter how justified it started out being, Carly had a feeling that she wasn't going to like what she found.


	37. Important Things Are Hard to Say

**Author's Note: I am so sorry that this took so long! I am having a slight bout of writer's block in the way that whatever I write I hate and delete. I'm still not even particularly happy with the way this turned out, so I apologize if it's not up to par. I hope you guys like it anyways! Thanks for being so patient! :)  
Love ~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

_The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them.  
~Stephen King  
_************************************************************************

Time was moving fast for Carly; faster than she had anticipated. It seemed before she could blink January was over and it was already Valentine's Day weekend.

For a lot of people, Valentine's Day was just a day they woke up with a giant headache, even if they had someone to celebrate the holiday with. Carly was of the sound opinion that one shouldn't need a specific day, complete with red hearts and the color pink everywhere, to give or get presents from the one you loved or treat them special. However, for her and Jack, even when they had been apart, Valentine's Day seemed to have a special connotation.

This year, as Carly felt their child growing inside of her more and more each day, she decided that this holiday was the perfect time to let Jack know about, well, everything. She had gotten the first round of blood tests back and her second ultrasound had been on Friday morning, during which Dr. Adams had also given her a preliminary okay. Even _she_ had to admit that Jack had been trying to show her he had changed. Not mention that she was running out of excuses why not to tell him, as Lily and Molly both reminded her daily.

So that had been what she was thinking when she had lifted the phone to invite Jack out to dinner on Valentine's Day afternoon. His response, however, had stopped her cold.

"_I'm sorry, Carly. I…I already have plans."_

She hadn't asked with whom as she didn't think she would have been able to bear his answer. Trying to make her exit from the phone conversation as casual as possible, Carly had made some excuse and hung up, ignoring the protests she had heard coming from his end.

And to make matters worse, only minutes later, Lee had come in from dropping Mattie off to hang out with Parker. He had taken one look at her as she tried to hide her red puffy eyes while attempting to put the dishes away and demanded an explanation for the past couple of weeks.

Carly had tried to brush it off but soon the whole complicated mess came tumbling out of her. Which is why, the dishwasher was now half empty while she and Lee were on their third cup of tea.

To her shock, Lee didn't even bat an eye at her pregnancy revelation.

"Carly, I may be a guy but I also have a medical degree. That kind of balances out the normal male dimwittedness." Lee told her and frowned into his chamomille tea. "Um, seriously though, Luv, I know you aren't supposed to have coffee but why do I have to suffer? What _is_ this?"

Carly gave a half laugh and half disgusted noise before brushing the tears off her cheeks and moving to make him a cup of coffee.

"So you are just about 13 weeks? You look amazing." Lee said, studying her with a professional eye. "I'd say you even still have about another month before you begin to really show. It's no wonder that not even the kids have figured it out."

Carly made a non committal noise and Lee frowned.

"What doctor are you seeing? Obviously not Dr. Schiller since we're keeping this on the down low." He asked and Carly rolled her eyes.

"First of all, on behalf of your niece, can you _never_ say the phrase 'down low' again?" Carly said, pointing a finger at him. "And second, no I'm not seeing Dr. Schiller. She's a fantastic doctor but I was referred to someone else by the woman in California. His name is Dr. Adams."

"Dr. Michael Adams? Over in Heathersford?" Lee asked and at her nod he smiled in approval. "I've read some of his journal articles. He is actually quite well known in his field."

"Well good. I mean, I like him, but it's nice to know that you think he is as good as they say." Carly said and handed Lee his cup of coffee.

"And everything is okay so far?" Lee looked at her quizzically, knowing Dr. Adams specialty and also knowing the risks that came with her medical background.

"Um, so far, so good. The ultrasounds were clear and the blood tests were normal. He says we won't be able to diagnosis if I have pre-eclampsia again for another couple of months though."

"Yes, it's usually diagnosed around 32 weeks but in your case we should be able to tell by about 20." Lee concurred and Carly raised an eyebrow at him.

"We?" She asked amused.

"Hey look, Luv, it may not be my typical field of expertise but two doctors fussing over you can't hurt right?" Lee said, pointing his own finger at her now and she rolled her eyes again before leaning over and kissing his cheek.

"Thank you." She said and Lee just waved her off.

"So now you tell Jack." He said firmly.

"It's not that simple." Carly said and again Lee waved her off.

"Carly, I don't think you heard me correctly." Lee said and leaned forward. "_Now…you…tell…Jack_. The tests are fine, the prognosis looks good. That is his child and he has every right to know about him or her."

"Don't you think I know that?" Carly said moving away from where she was leaning on the counter by the sink and pacing slightly. "I wanted to tell him tonight."

"Valentine's Day! Perfect. Do you want me to take the kids to the movies or something so you can…?" Lee started to say.

"Stop!" Carly said, a little louder than she planned. Glancing towards the kitchen door she waited a few moments to make sure that the kids were all still upstairs before turning to look at Lee.

"Jack's not coming over. I already asked him and he said no." Carly said, trying not to show just how much saying that hurt her. "He already has plans with someone else."

Lee narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "When exactly did you ask him to come over?"

"Um, a couple hours ago." Carly said, rubbing the back of her neck.

"You called him up on Valentine's Day afternoon to ask him to Valentine's Day dinner after basically ignoring him for the past two weeks and you're _surprised_ he has plans?" Lee asked incredulously.

"Well, if he really wanted…" Carly started to say but Lee cut her off immediately.

"Oh no! No, no, no! Don't even try that bullshit with me, Darlin." He said and she looked up into his face before turning away sheepishly. Seeing that he had made his point he lifted his coffee mug to his lips once more.

"Well then, if he has plans, call him up and tell him to change them. Tell him you have something more important to talk to him about." Lee said as if that solved everything.

"No. I won't beg him to spend Valentine's Day with me. If he wanted to come over he would have changed his plans by now and called me back." Carly said stubbornly.

"The man loves you, you idiot. You love him. You and I both know it. Hell, the whole damn town knows it. What do you need? A bloody freaking parade?" Lee asked vehemently.

"Maybe!" Carly said just as heatedly. "Maybe I _like_ the idea of him proving that he really is going to fight for me the way I've had to do for him in the past. Is that so wrong?"

"It's not wrong, Darlin, but love is not supposed to be a competition. Besides, there is much more at stake here than there was a couple months ago. Do you really want to keep this up much longer?" Lee asked and noticed as the fight suddenly seemed to drain from her shoulders.

"No," Carly admitted. "The more I think about everything, the more I really can't wait to tell him. I'm just so confused."

"And scared." Lee said and she looked up at him, her blue eyes shining.

"And scared." Carly echoed softly.

Lee placed his coffee mug down by the stove and moved to wrap Carly into an embrace.

"Look, Kiddo, I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life. I just want you to be happy and we both know that Jack makes you happy. Even when he's being a wanker."

"Kiddo?" Carly asked, her voice muffled slightly as her face was buried into his chest. "You're only three years older than me, buddy."

"Yeah, well, you how I feel about you. Besides Lisa and Mattie…you are my family. I couldn't love you more if you really were my sister."

"I love you too, Doc." Carly said and leaned up to kiss his cheek.

"Okay," Lee sighed and squeezed her once more before letting go. "I am not starting my shift until ten and since neither of us has plans tonight why don't we do a Valentine's dinner here with the kids? We can order pizza, rent a movie off On Demand, and just basically relax."

"I think dinner is a great idea. I'm sure the kids will love it." Carly said and moved to head into the living room to call to the brood upstairs.

"Carly," Lee's voice stopped her and she looked over her shoulder at him. He took a deep breath before saying, "I won't pressure you about this whole Jack thing for the rest of the night but I need you to understand something. As much as I love you, this time, Luv, I'm on his side. You have to tell him before it's too late."

Carly didn't say anything but nodded her head and slipped out of the room. After a moment to himself, Lee followed.

As Carly had anticipated, the dinner idea was welcomed by everyone. Lee stayed true to his word and didn't mention Jack once until just before he and Mattie said their goodbyes. As he hugged her he took the opportunity to whisper in her ear.

"When you tell him just remember I'm available for godfather duties."

Carly laughed and pretty much shoved him out the door, brushing off the looks that her kids gave her. They quickly got over it and begged to be able to watch one more movie before bed. Carly sighed and under the stipulation that they all agreed on one that was appropriate, she relented. After they finally settled on a Ben Stiller comedy, Carly was about to go make popcorn when her cell phone started to ring. Glancing at the caller ID she frowned as she answered it.

"Hello?"

"Carly?"

"Jessica, what's up? Is everything okay?" Carly asked, stepping into the kitchen as she heard the stress in the voice of her club's hostess.

"Well, that depends on how you define the word 'okay'." Jessica tried to joke but at Carly's impatient sigh she changed tactics. "There is a delivery here and the guy won't accept anyone's signature but the owner."

"Well where's…"

"Henry? I already tried him and he said that you'd have to take care of it. He took that…_fiancée_…of his to Aspen for the weekend." Jessica said, her opinion of Vienna seeping into her voice and forcing Carly to hold back a laugh.

"Okay, what's the delivery?" Carly finally managed to ask.

"I have no idea! I think it's the new backgrounds for the back bar display cases but the guy won't even let me see into the stinkin' truck. He keeps saying that he has his orders and that only the owner can sign…blah blah blah. I mean, seriously, who makes a delivery at quarter to ten at night?" Jessica said, glaring at the delivery man who was leaning on the bar counter staring out at the busy club while blatantly ignoring her. Jessica rolled her eyes and curbed the urge to smack the man.

"Okay, tell him that I'll be there in about 25 minutes." Carly sighed and then with a smirk added, "And try not to beat him over the head with his clipboard before I get there, Jess."

"Oh Carly, you know me so well." Jessica joked back.

Carly laughed and hung up, as she headed back into the living room. Explaining the situation to the kids, she put Parker in charge. She intended to be back before it became an issue but just in case she adamantly reminded them that when the movie was over it was bedtime.

Carly pulled into Metro's parking lot at 10:15, noting with satisfaction that it was still relatively crowded. The economy crisis had hit their business as well, but since the New Year's party, it had picked up again nicely.

Walking in, Carly caught sight of Jessica coming out from behind the main bar and waved to her. Jess's face lit up and after saying a quick word to the bartender she hurried over to where Carly stood.

"Hi! Thanks for coming." Jess said and Carly smiled.

"I didn't really have a choice, now did I?" Carly said and looked around. "So where is our annoying delivery man?"

Jessica shifted on her feet and glanced around before tucking a shoulder length strand of hair behind her ear.

"Well, you see…here's the thing…" Jess hesitated and Carly's eyes narrowed. The young girl sighed and dropped her hand, muttering fast under her breath. "He left."

"He _what_?" Carly exclaimed.

"Well, I finally managed to talk him into letting me sign since he said he other deliveries to make. He, um, put everything in your office." Jessica said and gave Carly an apologetic look.

Carly stared back at her for a few moments in silence before Jessica's name was called out by one of the waitresses. The girl shrugged again and moved towards the person who had called her name.

"Wait, Jess, what was the delivery?" Carly said but Jessica was already halfway across the club and the music drowned Carly's voice out.

With a long sigh, Carly decided that since she was there she might as well go look at whatever it was that had been delivered. Waving at some of the employees when they spotted her, she started to take off her coat as she finally opened her office door.

Flipping the light on she stopped short, her one arm still caught in the sleeve of her winter jacket.

Red and silver heart shaped foil balloons intermingled with white and clear latex ones. Some were filled with helium so that they danced across her ceiling while many others had just been blown up and were now covering the floor of her office. Four large standing floral arrangements had been placed in a semi-circle around her desk in the back of the room. These bouquets were massive, standing at least four feet high and overflowing with different colored roses, lilies, and pieces of greenery to accent. Each arrangement had a balloon bobbing just over top of it, attached to the long ivory columns in which they had been placed. These balloons, however, had writing on them and Carly's eyes watered as she read the words aloud in order.

"Today…and tomorrow…and tomorrow…and tomorrow."

Finally taking her coat all the way off, Carly placed it on the hook by her door. Closing it, she walked forward, her feet gently nudging balloons every so often. She reached the first column of flowers and stopped. Lifting up a shaking hand to touch the first balloon, Carly inhaled the intoxicating fragrance the flowers gave off. As she traced the letters of the word "today", the tears that had shined in her eyes began to fall.

"Oh, Jack." Carly whispered, wiping her cheeks.

Who would have thought that the man who was so very often stubborn, practical, judgmental, and temperamental was also a complete and utter romantic? More and more it seemed that things that they had said to each other over the years, things that she thought he had forgotten from the way they had behaved around each other recently, were just as important to him as they were her.

Suddenly her office line began to ring and she moved to answer it before she had time to think about what she was doing.

"Hello?" She said, her mind still struggling to take in the sight in front of her.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Carly." Jack spoke softly, the sound of his voice sending a tingle down her spine and for a moment she couldn't concentrate on anything at all.

"Carly, you there?" Jack asked and brought her back to the present.

"Yeah, I, uh…I'm uh…." She stuttered and he let out a chuckle. Carly blinked rapidly, quickly realizing that by calling her on the office phone he knew where she was.

"How did you know I was here?" Carly asked and she could hear the smugness in his voice as he answered.

"I have my sources."

"Hmm, if that source of yours pulls something like this again she might just find herself fired." Carly said, placing a hand on her hip as she thought back to the grin that Jessica had given her when she had walked into the club tonight.

"Aw, don't be too hard on her. She's good kid." Jack said and he could tell by the small laugh behind the grunt Carly gave in response that she wasn't really angry.

"Why did you do this, Jack?" Carly asked quietly brushing her fingers over the soft petals of a peach colored rose with the tips looking as if the were dipped in red paint.

"I couldn't be with you tonight but I wanted to make sure you knew that you were the one I was thinking of." Jack said and Carly sighed.

"If that's true than why did you make plans with someone else?"

"I didn't!" Jack protested.

"What?" Carly asked, her eyes widening. "Jack, I heard you. You said…"

"I know what I said, Carly, but you didn't give me a chance to explain." Jack started to say but sighed. "No, that's not entirely true. I let you think that because I didn't really know how to tell you what I was doing. I was afraid you'd…"

"Jack, just say it!" Carly demanded.

"Because of my background and proximity, one of my old friends at the FBI asked me to help transport a prisoner of theirs tonight to Indiana State Prison." Jack said reluctantly.

Jack's quiet words hit her like a fist and reaching blindly behind her, Carly sunk into her office chair as her legs gave out. She could hear the roaring of her pulse in her ears and closing her eyes tightly, she had to remind herself to breathe. Vaguely, she could hear Jack's reassuring voice in her ear.

"Nothing happened, Carly, I'm okay. Do you hear me? I'm okay. Breathe, Baby, please breathe." Jack said, gripping his cell phone with white knuckles and his eyes squeezed shut.

He had heard the sharp intake of breath on her end and immediately knew that all the memories from just under 5 years ago had flooded back to her, as he was afraid they would had he told her the truth this afternoon. Wishing with everything he had that he was sitting next to her in Oakdale rather than 3 hours away in a hotel room in Michigan City, he just reiterated that he was okay until he heard her breathing begin to relax.

"Jack, you're…" Carly whispered as she struggled to calm down.

The hand that wasn't clutching the phone for dear life moved to cover the small bump of her stomach that secretly housed their baby. The tangible connection to Jack seemed to bring her back and when she opened her eyes she wasn't surprised to find that her cheeks were wet with tears. No matter how many years passed, the memories and the feelings of when she thought she had lost him still haunted her.

"I really am okay, Carly." Jack said and, finally Carly could feel her pulse returning to normal. "Everything was routine, I had five other agents and I'm staying over in a hotel room paid for by the lovely US government. So, as you can imagine, it's barely got a bed and a coffee machine."

"Oh, well..." Carly said, trying to push the irrational fear that lingered to the back of her mind. Jack was right; he was fine and she needed to let the moment go. "At…at least you have a coffee machine."

_That's my girl_, Jack thought to himself and settled back against the hotel bed's headboard.

"This is very true. Even if I do have to share it _and_the room with a man that looks like he could rival Marcus Royale in the human brick wall contest."

Carly let out a real laugh and the sound of it warmed Jack's heart.

"So where is this roommate of yours?" Carly asked, picking up a pen on her desk and starting to sketch on a blank piece of note paper. She knew that it was an inane conversation but she didn't want to get off the phone with him…not just yet.

"Oh he went to go workout at the hotel fitness center. Tried to get me to go too but I told him there was a Ho-Ho in the vending machine and an important phone call that had my name on it." Jack said causing Carly to smile.

"I'm glad I ranked right up there with the importance of you getting a Ho-Ho." She told him, although as the words left her mouth she realized how good that piece of junk food sounded at the moment.

Suddenly her eyes narrowed in suspicion and scanned her desk. Sure enough, a small wrapped present sat in the corner by her desk lamp. Opening it, she dug into the box and pulled out one of the individually wrapped treats.

"How do you _do_ that?" Carly asked, licking her lips as she took a bite of the chocolate and crème confection.

"I know you. It's as easy as that." Jack said and he felt his body react at the soft moan of pleasure that escaped her as she ate the snack cake he had left her.

"So you liked my surprise?" Jack asked, changing the subject and shifting on the bed.

"Yes, thank you. It was…it was perfect." Carly said, the words still not adequate enough to describe her feelings as she looked around the room again. Frowning, she mentally calculated something and shook her head. "Jack, this must have cost a fortune."

"Well, it helps when you prevent a robbery of a flower shop and they give you insane discounts." Jack said, thinking of the small Latino family that ran the floral shop he had been frequenting more and more lately.

"Okay, it was definitely more romantic when I thought you had spent a fortune." Carly said and smiled as Jack's deep chuckle echoed in her ear.

"I was thinking…" Jack started to say.

"Uh oh, don't hurt yourself." Carly said and Jack groaned.

"Oh, funny lady! Could you just let me talk for like one minute, please? Then you can hold court again, okay?"

"Okay, okay." Carly said, but Jack could hear the giggle in her voice as she spoke.

"Well, since tonight got all screwed up, I was hoping that we could re-schedule. You know, kind of have a Valentine's Day do-over." Jack said and was met with a long silence. "Carly?"

"I'm here, Jack." Carly said and looked down at her sketch. Without even thinking about it she had drawn a pair of baby feet tied together with a bundle of balloons. Apparently her subconscious was giving her a very definite suggestion.

"I have a better idea." She said quietly and proceeded to tell him her plan. After a few moments of her explaining her idea, he agreed and she smiled.

"Then it's settled?" Carly asked, jotting the down the conclusion of their discussion on her calendar.

"It's settled." Jack laughed and glanced at the clock on the night stand. "Hey, I know it's late and I don't want to keep you from the house any longer. Drive home safe okay?"

"I will. I'll talk to you tomorrow?" Carly asked, hating the hesitant note in her voice but she knew she wouldn't feel 100% until he was back in Oakdale.

"I'll call the moment I get into the station, okay? Or better yet, why don't I stop by the house?" Jack said, knowing exactly why she was asking. He couldn't stand that his plans tonight had her worried for him, but part of him had to admit that it felt nice to know she cared.

"No, it's okay. A phone call will be fine. Just…don't forget." Carly said and he nodded, even though she couldn't see him.

"I promise." Jack said and Carly knew that he would keep it.

"Okay. Well then, goodnight, Jack. Thank you for everything." Carly said, brushing a curl behind her ear. "Happy Valentine's Day."

"Goodnight, Carly. Happy Valentine's Day." Jack said and he quietly hung up the phone. Staring out the window overlooking the city, he let out a soft sigh. "I love you."

Meanwhile, as Carly hung up her office phone, she turned and let her fingers caress the peach rose that captivated her earlier.

"I love you, G-man." She whispered and with a swift determined movement plucked the rose from the arrangement. Pulling her jacket on again, she turned off her office light before locking the door and striding through the now almost empty club.

At the sound of heels, Jessica looked up as she finished up helping a bus boy clear one of the tables. Seeing Carly, she froze when her blonde boss stopped and caught her eye.

Carly sternly pointed the rose in her direction, her face purposely blank. She didn't say anything and Jess began to wonder if she had gone too far tonight by agreeing to help Detective Snyder when he had asked her for a favor. But then Carly's façade dropped away and she winked at the young hostess causing Jessica to let out a laugh of relief that startled the last few patrons and employees left in Metro.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Carly!" Jess called out.

She laughed again as Carly stayed silent but finally exited the club, wiggling her fingers goodbye over her shoulder and a huge smile on her face.


	38. Friendship Is A Million Little Things

**Author's Note: It's a short one but good news is, writer's block is apparently over. LOL. Thanks for your patience and I hope you enjoy!! BTW...to a certain fan, you're adorable and thank you extra for your encouragement!!  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

_Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things.  
__~Author Unknown  
_************************************************************************

Carly had just slipped her shoes off of her feet and was settling down on the couch with a sketch pad when the doorbell rang. Groaning she eyed the blurry outline of the person behind the frosted glass, trying to gauge who it was and if she wanted to pretend to be asleep.

"Carly, it's me. I know you're there, I can see you through the glass." Lily's voice called out immediately followed by a loud huff. "Well, I can always take this medium pizza from Luigi's and two pints of Rocky Road and be on my…"

Lily didn't even get to finish her sentence before the front door flew open and Carly appeared, hands outstretched.

"Hand over the ice cream and no one gets hurt." She said, her blue eyes twinkling as her best friend laughed.

"Not uh. Pizza first. Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you can skip right to dessert." Lily said, sliding by Carly and passing the food over to her.

"Are you kidding me? That's exactly what it means!" Carly replied but she inhaled the deep scent of the pizza and begrudgingly agreed that it did smell amazing. Turning to look at Lily as she finished hanging her coat, she frowned. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?"

"Well, the kids are in school and I know that today is your day off. Since it just happens to be mine too, I thought we could hang out. I haven't really seen you since Eliza was born except for schlepping the kids around back and forth like a shuttle service." Lily called after Carly as the she handed the food back to her and went to get paper plates and drinks from the kitchen.

"Schlepping?" Carly asked, coming back into the living room with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, the new events planner at the Lakeview is Jewish and she's teaching me all sorts of fun words to say. Although I think most of them aren't meant for polite company." Lily said and Carly laughed, motioning for Lily to have a seat on the couch.

Lily picked up the discarded sketch book from earlier and casually flipped through it as she moved to place it away from the harm of pizza sauce and melting ice cream.

"Are you designing again? These are fabulous!" Lily exclaimed looking them over.

Carly glanced up and hurriedly took the pad away from Lily, placing it on the desk by the door and tucking a curl behind her ear.

"No, uh, not really. They are just a few designs that came to mind the past couple of months." She said and sat down next to Lily.

"Are they for that woman you met out in L.A? Did you decide to design the collection for her?" Lily asked, picking up a slice of pizza and taking a huge bite.

Carly did the same and after closing her eyes a moment in happiness, she opened them to frown at Lily.

"No, I can't. I…I mean, I sent her some things that will hopefully help her to get started but it's too hard to do the whole collection from out here. If I took the job I'd have to be in LA starting at the end of the month to check on fabric, arrange the models, go over the designs with my staff. It's the middle of the school year and I can't drag the kids out there. And there is no way I can leave them here for so long without me. Not again." Carly said, looking down at her food, her appetite waning momentarily.

Lily placed a hand on Carly's shoulder and shook her lightly. "Hey, come on. That's in the past. The kids have forgiven you. Jack has forgiven you. Isn't it time you forgave yourself?"

"I don't know if I ever can, to be honest." Carly said, placing the half eaten slice back down on her plate. "That time I missed with them…I'll never get it back."

"Look, you screwed up okay? But it was two years ago, Carly. So much has happened since then and it is still happening." Lily said and Carly looked up at her. "You have a chance to be a family again with your kids and the man you've loved for a good portion of your adult life."

Carly gave a small laugh and her hand found its way to her still growing stomach underneath her loose cotton blouse. Lily's eyes followed it and she smiled softly.

"How are you feeling? I mean, you look great. You're almost three and a half months along and I can barely tell. Katie is only basically a couple weeks ahead of you and she looks like she swallowed a basketball already."

"I'm okay. The morning sickness has slowed, thankfully. I don't think the kids will buy another flu relapse. Not to mention I don't know how much longer I can avoid Jack. I think he's starting to slip into detective mode." Carly joked, but her eyes showed the weariness of having to hide this secret.

"Tell me about it. He even recruited Holden to get me to…" Lily paused in her sentence and looked away sheepishly.

"Lily…" Carly warned her to continue and the other woman sighed.

"Okay, fine. The truth is, I was kind of sent here today on a reconnaissance mission. Not that I didn't want to see you, because I really did mss hanging out with you, but…" Lily started to ramble, but at Carly's look she stopped. "Jack asked Holden to ask me to find out why you've been avoiding him."

"What? Seriously? Are we in high school?" Carly asked, holding back a laugh.

"Apparently. But since I _know_ why you're avoiding Jack I basically had to agree to talk to you and then changed the subject pretty fast." Lily said and Carly's smile slipped away.

"I'm sorry, Lily. I don't want you to have to lie to Holden."

"It's okay. I'm not really lying to him. Besides, it's not my secret to tell." Lily said and Carly shot her a look.

"Now you sound like me."

"What_ is_ going on, Carly?" Lily asked, choosing to ignore the last statement. "I mean, the last I heard about any progress at all was when you called me the day after Valentine's Day giggling like a teenager about the surprise Jack left in your office. That was three weeks ago."

"I know, I know." Carly said but Lily just kept going.

"It has to be obvious by now that he cares about you. He loves you, Carly, and he's going to love this baby. After he gets done being mad you didn't tell him in the first place which I think will probably be for, oh, maybe five minutes." Lily said.

"Lily…" Carly tried again.

"Besides, what do you have to lose? You can stop hiding everything especially when I know how much you love being pregnant. Think of all the fun we could have shopping for new clothes and oh my god, the kids will be over the moon. Okay, well the boys probably won't care that much but Sage is going to have to be sedated when you tell her. Probably right along with Emma when she finds out." Lily rambled on until finally Carly covered her friend's mouth with her hand and burst out laughing.

"Lily, will you please slow down?" Carly said, her eyes sparkling. "I've been trying to tell you that I already know when I'm going to tell Jack."

"You do?" Lily mumbled behind Carly's hand and dropping it to her lap, Carly nodded.

"Jack and I made a date for his birthday when he called me on Valentine's Day. I'm going to tell him that night."

"Carly, his birthday isn't until the 20th. That's still two weeks away. You think you can hold out that long?" Lily asked, her eyes searching Carly's face.

"Lily, I know I can. You see, Jack's birthday just happens to be the day before my next ultrasound. The one when Dr. Adams will be able to tell if it's a boy or girl." Carly said and she tried to blink back the tears that were starting to form. "It just…I couldn't stop thinking about how the timing was just right. What better birthday present could I get him then to tell him about the baby and let him see it for himself the next morning?"

"How are you going to tell him?"

"Well, I always had this idea in my mind but with Sage everything was just so crazy that I never got to use it." Carly said softly.

"What was it?" Lily asked just as quietly.

"Don't laugh, okay?" Carly said and Lily nodded, crossing her fingers over her heart. Carly sighed and placed her chin in her hands, closing her eyes as her thoughts drifted away. "I had always imagined it happening around a holiday so I could set it up perfectly. The kids will be with Emma for the night so we'll have the house to ourselves. I'll make his favorite dinner…"

The sound of Lily clearing her throat caused Carly to open her eyes and toss a look in her direction.

"Okay, okay, I'll _order_ his favorite dinner. Now stop interrupting."

"I'm sorry." Lily said, holding up her hands in an apologetic gesture but her lips twitched up in a smile as did Carly's before she continued.

"Anyway, I'll have candles lit and our favorite songs on the radio. After dinner, I'll bring out dessert, chocolate covered strawberries, and hand him a card just as he's finished eating them. And on the inside it'll say 'Happy Birthday Daddy' with a picture of the last ultrasound inside. He'll be confused for a minute or two but when it sinks in…"

"It does sound perfect." Lily admitted with a sigh when Carly trailed off. She couldn't help the full smile that crossed her lips as she thought about how much she wanted this to happen for her two friends. Lily's eyes glanced up and she gave Carly a small look.

"It doesn't hurt that Jack will probably be so stunned by the sonogram that he won't be able to stay mad at you for long."

"I don't know what you are talking about." Carly said, brushing her hair over her shoulder and giving Lily a look in return "That never even crossed my mind."

The balled up paper napkin that hit Carly dead center in the face spoke volumes of what Lily thought of that remark and the two women dissolved into giggles. Before long the barely touched pizza was forgone and the rest of the afternoon gave way to ice cream and the latest gossip around Oakdale.


	39. In A Dizzy World We Make Mistakes

**Author's Note: I apologize for the long delay, guys. I would say we're about halfway through now, but don't quote me on that! LOL. A lot of you are going to be mad at me for a little while, but please hang in there and trust me. That being said, I hope you enjoy!  
~JP**

True North: part 38  
By Jaclyn Parker

_As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.  
__~Mel Brooks  
_************************************************************************

Bouncing on the balls of her feet, Janet looked around the long line of people in front of her towards the bank counter and sighed. Okay, maybe it hadn't been the best idea to try and do this during her lunch break but she was just so excited that she had decided it was worth a try.

Her normal paycheck wouldn't have caused her to do anything more than stick it in an envelope and deposit it in an ATM like she usually did but this was anything but her normal paycheck.

Ever since she had cooked dinner for them the first time back around Christmas, Henry and Vienna had both been asking her for her "famous" lasagna recipe. At the beginning of the New Year, she had been encouraged by a friend to give it to them to re-create for the diner but to do it _only_ if she received a portion of the profit each time it sold. Two and a half months later, she had her own personalized Italian section of the menu that included her lasagna, stuffed shells, veal and chicken parmesans, and tiramisu. Needless to say, the first real paycheck showing the profit of that venture combined with her normal salary was clutched in her hand.

Glancing down at the check again Janet couldn't help but grin.

"Oh, yeah. Definitely worth the trip to the bank." She muttered to herself, shuffling forward when the line began to move while mentally applauding that friend's nudge in the right business direction.

Feeling her cell phone vibrate, she lifted it up to read the caller ID on the front display screen. Her grin widening, she eagerly flipped it open.

"Well, hello there. I was just thinking about you." She said into the phone receiving a chuckle in return.

"Well that is always what a guy like me likes to hear from a beautiful woman like you." Craig said, as he relaxed in the airport waiting area chair. Casually roaming his eyes around where he waited to board his flight, he smiled as he realized how happy he really was to speak to her.

"Flatterer." Janet sniped, but there was a smile in her voice.

"But that's why you like me so much." Craig immediately said back.

As Janet laughed she also shook her head. It was funny how easily they bantered and how fast he could make her smile.

In the short few months that she had known Craig Montgomery, she felt that she had seen a side of him that few people ever really did. That's not to say that the things she had been told by people like Vienna, Henry, and even Margo once were easily forgotten. There were times that she wondered what she had gotten herself into and if being involved with him was smart _or_ safe. But then she would see those glimpses of true remorse that everybody else refused to see and she knew that she couldn't just abandon him like everyone else had.

"Did you hear a word I said?" Craig's voice broke into her thoughts and even though he couldn't see her Janet blushed.

"If I say no, what are you gonna do? Hang up on me?" Janet asked, the teasing lilt immediately back into her voice.

"No, but I might just take this present I got you and return it before I get on the plane." Craig said and let out a small laugh at the quick intake of her breath on the other end.

"You're coming home?" Janet asked.

Craig blinked a couple times and then bowed his head. He couldn't begin to describe the feeling that came over him at her words. It wasn't the present that she sounded excited about but the fact that he was returning to Oakdale. It had been a long time since he felt that the word "home" was an accurate description of the place he rested his head at night.

Clearing his throat he spoke into the phone when Janet said his name, questioning if he was still on the line.

"Yeah, I'm coming home. I have solid evidence that Lucy is bringing Johnny back to Oakdale and I'm going to be ready and waiting to get my son back."

"Craig that's fantastic! When are you getting in?" Janet asked, peeking again to see how many more people were ahead of her. There was only a handful left and glancing up at the giant clock on the wall she relaxed, seeing that she still had a half hour left of her lunch break to go.

"My flight gets in around five." Craig said, double checking his airline ticket.

"Great! How about you stop by the new apartment and I'll make you dinner?" Janet said, already mentally preparing what she would make. He did seem partial to her manicotti and it happened to be one of Liberty's favorites too.

Knowing that she would be able to afford it now, Janet had finally moved out of the Lakeview into her own large two bedroom apartment about two weeks ago. It was extremely nice for Liberty who finally had her own space to retreat to, especially when it came to her mom's new "friend". That being said, her daughter _had_ come around to seemingly accept Craig more and more in the past month or so but a little bribery in way of a favorite dinner couldn't hurt.

"After not seeing you for a week and a half, dinner isn't exactly what I had in mind." Craig said, his voice low and clear in intent.

"Craig!" Janet said and blushed again. "You know I meant it when I said I wanted to take things slow. Especially after…"

"Slow. Fast. Upside down in a swing. You name it, I'm game." Craig said, not allowing her a moment to mentally slide back into memories of what had happened in the fall with Jack.

"Craig!" Janet exclaimed a little louder than she meant to, but she knew instantly the real reason he had said it. Smiling in appreciation she added, "You're horrible."

"And you love it. See you around five-thirty,_ Bella_." Craig said and hung up, not giving her a chance to reply.

Janet closed her phone, looking at it a moment and shaking her head. But the smile that was on her lips betrayed her true thoughts.

Seeing that during the tail end of the phone conversation she had moved to the front of the line, Janet's eyes scanned the tellers. Finally she saw the one, just to the left of her, look up and wave her over. But before Janet could head in that direction, a movement behind her caught her attention as did something hard pressing into the small of her back.

"I have a gun and I won't hesitate to use it." A low voice said in her ear and every muscle in Janet's body stiffened. "Now we're going to move to the teller nice and slow or your little boy-toy on the phone won't have anyone to come home when his plane touches down tonight. Got it?"

Janet forced her body to stop shaking and nodded her head slowly, before closing her eyes and sending up a quick prayer.

At the same time, oblivious to the action going on only a few feet away, Jack stood behind about five people and stared at his shoes. He had seen Janet only a few minutes ago and his stomach had jumped into his throat. Jack didn't consider himself a coward but when it came to confrontation with women, other than Carly that is, he found he _really_ didn't enjoy it. Upon hearing Craig's name exclaimed from her lips a few moments ago, Jack had further cemented the idea that it was best to just hope Janet didn't notice him and hopefully deposit the money he had in his wallet into his account before things got ugly.

But still, Jack couldn't help but look up to search out his ex-fiancée and when his eyes landed on her his senses immediately went on alert. The man behind her was pressed into her back tremendously close and Janet was holding her body very rigid. Her eyes were darting around and Jack could detect a light sheen of sweat on her forehead. The man behind her shifted slightly to push her forward and all of Jack's instincts became alive when he saw the flash of a gun barrel. Unfortunately it was a moment too late as the man reached the counter, shoved Janet into the ledge with one hand and fired a shot into the air with the other.

"Everyone down on the floor and _nobody_ presses the silent alarm button." The man said and blew a sharp whistle with his lips.

Three other men moved within the bank; two of them had been standing in line and one was over by the doors acting like he was filling out a paper slip. All three now wore ski masks and had pulled guns from random ficus plants that were placed around the bank.

As Jack followed the rest of the patrons in the position of sitting or kneeling on the ground, he frowned as he watched them. It didn't take a genius to realize that if they had guns already planted that meant there was someone on the inside. His eyes scanned the room and sure enough one of the tellers, a young redheaded woman, was watching avidly with no fear whatsoever.

"Hey Bonnie, how bout you get that nice little gold key to the vault in back and come gimme a kiss?" The leader called to her and she sent him a saucy wink before strutting over to a shaking bald headed man with the name tag that read "Senior Bank Manager".

"Thanks, Bob." She said, her voice lilting and a smile on her face. The poor man said nothing but closed his eyes in disgust. Whether it was with himself for thinking he should have seen through this woman's plot or at what was happening, was up for grabs.

Looking around covertly, Jack tried to spot the two security guards that were supposed to be in the bank. Landing on two motionless bodies in uniform, neatly tucked way in a corner, he immediately realized the situation had just gone from bad to worse. Thankfully he detected both of their chests moving which meant they had probably been injected with something or just made immobile by some sort of stun gun.

Jack's eyes flew over to where Janet now sat at the leader's feet, her knees pulled up to her chest and her own eyes squeezed shut tightly. They opened suddenly and connected with Jack's own gaze. He could see the fear in them turn to recognition then to hope then back to fear again. She glanced up towards the man standing by her with the gun and then back to Jack, her eyes conveying the obvious conflict in her mind. She wanted to get out of there in the worst way but even after all that had happened between them, the thought of Jack playing hero and getting hurt or killed made her queasy.

"Hey Clyde!" One of the other men's voices calling out broke the nonverbal conversation that Jack and Janet were having and caused all eyes to go to him.

"Yeah, Butch?" The leader said back and looked over at the man talking.

"Should Sundance, Jesse, and I collect cell phones now?" Butch asked and Clyde smiled.

"Beautiful idea. Way to stay on the ball." He commended.

Any doubts that the man being referred to as Clyde was the ring leader disappeared in Jack's mind as he watched Butch puff up slightly with pride at the words of praise.

Jack knew he only had a matter of moments as he silently opened his phone. For the first time, in a long time, Jack thanked God that he had teenagers and had been forced to learn the act of text messaging. As he blindly typed, he made sure his eyes didn't betray his movements. Hitting send, Jack risked a glance down to confirm the text had been sent to his entire Oakdale PD contact list before slipping the phone battery out of his phone and into his pocket. No sooner had he done that then he felt the barrel of a gun pressing against his head.

"Your phone, Dipshit. Give it up." The man referred to as Jesse growled at him. Jack handed it to him wordlessly and when the thug tossed into his partner's bag without checking it, he noted with some inner satisfaction that his theory that "Clyde" was the only smart one in the bunch was apparently correct.

"And just to prove to you that we aren't shitting around here, I'd like to make an announcement." Clyde spoke up and nudged Bonnie, who was now curled into his side. "Go ahead, Baby. Pick a hostage, any hostage."

Bonnie's eyes gleamed as they scanned the room. Jack's heart skipped a beat in natural fear when her gaze landed on him for a brief moment before moving on again. He started let out a small sigh of relief that seemed to stick in his throat when he saw who she had decided on.

"Her." Bonnie said, pointing a red manicured nail at their feet causing Janet's eyes to widen and her entire body began to shake.

"No. Please no." Janet whispered, the normally feisty Italian woman not able to hide the absolute terror in her voice.

Jack felt his body poised to jump up, knowing that he wouldn't be able stand by and let them hurt her. His heroics ended up not being necessary as Clyde shook his head and pushed her pointed arm away from Janet.

"Not her." Clyde said and bent down to run a finger down Janet's cheek causing her to lean away. "I like her."

Jack felt his stomach turn over as he watched Janet struggle to stay calm.

"But Clyde…" The red head whined and the man whirled on her.

"I said no!" He yelled at her harshly and Bonnie flinched. Clyde immediately appeared to soften and pressed a kiss to her lips. "Just think of all the fun we could have first, Baby."

Bonnie's eyes seemed to glaze over and then looking down at Janet again she let out a smile that caused both Jack and Janet's blood to run cold.

"Yeah…" She whispered and then giggled. "We could have a lot of fun. I wonder if Little Miss Italiano here likes pain."

"We'll find out later. I promise." Clyde said and winked at her. Then he waved his gun over the room and nudged her again. "But now you have to pick."

"Oh, I don't care." Bonnie replied, sighing as if in boredom and then twirled a finger in the air. "Meeney, miney, moe!"

She pointed to a man in a charcoal business suit sitting cross-legged about five feet from Janet. The man looked up and his eyes grew wide.

"Please don't! Please…"

He didn't even get the rest of the sentence out before a quick popping noise erupted from the ring leader's silenced gun and screams from the hostages sounded out. Before anyone could blink, the man in the business suit was writhing on the floor clutching his bleeding thigh as his cries of agony echoed in the now virtually silent bank.

"Oh my God, what are you doing?" Janet cried, not being able to hold it in as she watched the dark red blood pool on the marble floor. As scared as she was, she instinctively made a move to go help him but was stopped by the muzzle of a gun sliding into her line of vision.

"Stay still, Bitch, or it won't matter how much fun I think you'd provide later on. I'll kill you right here and right now." Clyde growled and she heard the seriousness in his threat.

Reluctantly Janet moved back into her sitting position, drawing her knees up again and forcing herself to look away from the man bleeding to death in front of her.

Jack had used this distraction to slowly creep closer to where Clyde and Bonnie were standing. He froze now, sitting in a head down position like the rest of the group and listening for his next opportunity.

"Okay, Bonnie, ready? You, Sundance, and Jesse take the duffel bags and go get the money out of the back vault. Five minutes. No more, no less. Got it?" Clyde said and Bonnie nodded, kissing the side of his face before she and the other two men disappeared behind the counter and into the back of the bank.

Jack's heart began to pound as he realized he now had a time limit. Suddenly he felt a vibration on his hip and stiffened. It stopped and then a moment later came again. Jack waited patiently when it ended again but it didn't buzz another time and he clenched his jaw, before very slowly adjusting his position to a crouch.

"Hey, what the hell?" The man name Butch said loudly and all eyes flew to the air vents where a soft fog of smoke was rolling in.

Jack sprung to his feet and charged at Clyde before the thug could fully understand what was happening. Jack's body slammed into his and they both hit the bank counter, Clyde full on the ribs and Jack on his left shoulder. Because he had the element of surprise, Jack was able to cause the gun to clatter to the ground and take Clyde down to the floor.

The man struggled to get Jack off of him but the rage that Jack had towards the heartless criminal consumed him and in one swift movement pounded Clyde's head down to meet the marble floor. The fight immediately left the robber and he lay still, as Jack turned and grabbed the gun to raise it towards a stunned Butch.

"Oakdale PD! Put the gun down and get down on your knees, hands behind your head! The bank is surrounded by police and SWAT and you will not get out of here if you resist!" Jack growled, his voice automatically reverting to his old FBI days.

The man must have sensed the sincerity in the threat because he only hesitated a moment before complying with Jack's orders.

A few minutes later all five robbers were in custody with Clyde sporting a large bruise on his forehead but still able to glare at Jack anyway. Dallas Griffin and a few members of the SWAT team had managed to get in the back and thwart Jesse, Bonnie, and Sundance as they tried to rob the vault. The hostages were given back their cell phones and after giving their statements, many of them had thanked Jack profusely before promptly disappearing.

After shoving the last perp into a cop car and talking with a couple of the other officers, Dallas wandered over to where Jack was now talking to Margo on the steps of the bank. He stopped and looked Jack up and down.

"How long you been on the force, man? You seriously can't send a better text message than that?"

"What? You seemed to understand it fine." Jack said glancing at Margo who tried to look as stern as Dallas.

"Oh _excuse me_. You're just lucky there were 5 of us trying to figure it out. Do you know how confusing it is to get something that reads 'Bank Rob. 5 prp. No Phone. 2 Buzzes. Guns.'!" Dallas exclaimed.

"Eh, it worked didn't it?" Jack said shrugging, then wincing as his shoulder reminded him of the football tackle he performed earlier.

"Dude, if you weren't a ranking officer I would so kick your used-to-be FBI butt." Dallas said and then grinned, before he mock punched Jack's uninjured shoulder. "I'll catch ya later, okay? Try not to get mugged on your way home."

"I'll do my best." Jack said, grinning back and then gave the "guy nod" as Dallas headed back to help take the perps in.

"You should get that shoulder looked at." Margo said as Jack circled his arm gingerly.

"Nah, I'm okay. The paramedics checked me out, said it was only a slight contusion. Nothing they can do for it. Told me to ice it and if I feel the need, wrap it later to reduce movement for abut 24 hours." Jack said, mentally noting that as the wisest course of action when his shoulder gave a twinge again.

"Well, you want company for the ride back to the station?" She asked and he shook his head.

"I'm gonna wait here and make sure…everybody…gets home okay."

Margo's eyes traveled over to where Janet was finishing up giving her statement and then looked back at him.

"Are you sure that's wise?"

"It'll be fine. I think after that I'm gonna stop by Milltown; see my kids."

"Just the kids?" Margo said knowingly and Jack just gave a small enigmatic smile. Margo sighed and placed a friendly hand on Jack's arm. "Just be careful, Jack. I don't want to see you get hurt again which is what normally happens when you get sucked back into Carly's vortex."

"Hey, life with her might not always be easy but it's the only one I want." Jack said and placed his hand over his friend's. "But thanks for looking out for me."

Margo sighed again, knowing that once again there was nothing she was going to say to sway his mind. And she had to admit that, while Carly was not on her list of favorite people, the woman had been trying hard to stay out of trouble and get her life back on track. As long as she stayed out of Margo's way, all was fine in her world.

Jack had just said goodbye to his chief when Janet walked up to him.

"Hey, everything go okay?" Jack asked her and she nodded.

"Yeah, it was pretty straight forward, ya know? Just tell them what those scumbags said and did, sign a piece of paper, and possibly testify." Janet said, brushing her bangs out of her face with a shaky hand.

"Hey, you might not have to. We have plenty of other evidence and a lot of other eye witnesses. In my experience they'll probably plea out and there won't even be a trial." Jack said, trying to reassure her.

"Jack, I…my first thought was how I told Craig I was going to make him dinner tonight. That he was going to be so disappointed when I wasn't there. I mean, I know it is stupid and irrational, but…" Janet started to say but shook her head, trying to gather her thoughts. Jack frowned harder at the mention of Craig, but he let her continue knowing that she had to let it out.

"But then all I could think about was Liberty. About how I wouldn't be able to see her face or hear her voice again. I wouldn't be able to finish watching her grow up and go to college. Or see her fall in love and get married and have babies of her own."

Janet shook her head again, obviously having trouble processing what had just happened.

"How…how could they stand there waving those guns and shooting people as if it was nothing? We have lives; I have a life! A really good one now and they were just going to rip me away from that without even thinking twice!"

As Janet choked back a sob, Jack frowned and instinctively pulled her into a hug. He knew exactly what she was talking about. The depravity at how human beings could hurt and kill other human beings for fun never ceased to disgust him. And even though he was a trained officer of the law, thoughts of his family always ran through his mind at times of crisis; especially thoughts of his kids. Jack knew the moment it all started to really sink in for Janet. Her entire body began to shake and her breathing began to change.

"Oh, God, the look in that woman's eyes, Jack. I can see it every time I close my own. I don't think I've ever seen someone look like that before. She _really_ wanted to hurt me." Janet cried into his chest, her hands gripping the back of his shirt in a death hold.

"Janet, you need to breathe. It's okay, just breathe." Jack said and tilted her chin so she could look in his eyes. "Come on, with me. That's it nice and slow."

Janet took deep breaths with him and soon she could feel her heartbeat start to slow. Her brown eyes sparkled with unshed tears and she let out a soft smile.

"Still playing hero, huh, Jack Snyder?" She said and Jack smiled back.

"I guess I've got a complex or something."

Janet gave a small laugh and wiped the last of her tears off of her cheeks. "I'm okay now. You don't have to drive me home. In fact, I should probably head back to work."

"Janet, come on. I'm sure Henry won't mind you taking the rest of the day off. Besides, don't you have a special dinner date tonight?" Jack said. While he wished she had found someone other than Craig Montgomery to move on with, by the blush that crept up on her cheeks he knew that Janet was happy with her choice.

"I, uh…" Janet hesitated and Jack shook his head.

"You just went through an ordeal that no one should ever have to go though. Trust me and spend the rest of today with the people you love."

"Like you're going to do?" Janet asked with her eyebrow raised knowingly.

"Hopefully. If she's home." Jack said slowly and she nodded her understanding.

"Take care of yourself, Jack Snyder." Janet said softly.

"You too." Jack answered back.

Janet leaned forward and pressed her lips to his one last time, wrapping her arms around his neck. Jack held her close and kissed her back, letting the past go in one final gesture. In that instant they both knew that what they had was really gone and this was their point of closure for things that weren't meant to be.

However, their moment looked like anything but goodbye to the cameras capturing it on film for local news stations or to the bystanders that were gathering around the roped off area of the bank. As the news reporters suddenly surged forward and began shouting questions at the survivors and police still left, the bystanders remained behind.

The sudden onslaught startled Jack and Janet out of their farewell embrace and both turned wide eyed expressions towards the shouting mass. Something behind them caught Jack's eyes and for a brief moment he thought he saw Carly's face staring back at him from the crowd of onlookers still remaining by the police barricades. Janet's grip tightened on his arm, causing Jack to quickly look down and reassure her before returning his attention to the crowd. But when he scanned them again, Carly was nowhere in sight.

"Did you see…?" Jack started to ask.

"What?" Janet shouted, cringing as the questions from the reporters grew in volume. Jack's fellow Oakdale officers were now forcing the news people back, creating a small window of escape.

"Never mind," Jack shouted back, shaking his head to dispel the lingering thoughts of Carly. "Let's get out of here while we can."

Janet nodded her agreement and ducking their heads they rushed forward towards Jack's waiting car, eager to leave the whole mess behind them.

From her spot hidden deep within the crowd across the street, Carly watched them drive away, her entire body shaking with a mixture of pain and rage. She took a deep breath, brushing away the one lone tear she allowed to slide down her face before breaking away from the haven of the others and silently making her way back to her own car.


	40. Pulling Off Scars To Make Decisions

**Author's Note: Hi everyone! I know I've said it before but this time I really mean it...this chapter was a _pain in the ass_. But it was an extremely necessary one. LOL I do feel like I might have gone slightly off character in a couple places, but I really hope not. Besides, I'll never know if you liked it or not if you don't hit little review button at the end (hint hint). ;-) Anyways, enjoy it!  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

_Have you ever been hurt and the place tries to heal a bit, and you just pull the scar off of it over and over again.  
__~Rosa Parks  
_************************************************************************

Carly didn't remember the drive home, the image of Jack and Janet's kiss the only thing she could think about. Yet almost twenty minutes later she was stumbling out of her car towards her front door. Fumbling with the keys, she barely got the right one in the lock because her hands were shaking so badly.

Finally pushing the door open, Carly managed to make her way to the couch to grip the arm and hold on for dear life as the living room swam in front of her vision.

"Carly? Carly, didn't you hear me calling you?" A voice called from the still open doorway and Carly turned her head over her shoulder to pinpoint it.

_Lee?_

Carly mouthed the name but no sound came out as she reached out a hand in his direction. But then everything seemed to fade out then back in again, her entire body going numb. She suddenly felt Lee's arms around her and guiding her to the sofa.

"Shit." Lee cursed as he felt her forehead and then took her pulse. He watched her chest move in and out in shallow breaths and looked desperately towards the doorway. He had medication in his car to help her but he couldn't leave her alone. Then, as if God had been listening to his silent prayer, he heard footsteps hurrying towards the house and identified the two voices immediately.

"J.J.! Parker! Get in here, now!" Lee yelled and the two boys appeared in the doorway only a split second later. Their faces became ashen when they saw Lee kneeling on the floor by the couch and Carly stretched out upon it.

"Mom!" They cried out simultaneously and rushed forward.

"Listen to me." Lee said, the tone in his voice leaving no room for argument. He knew that they were worried and there would be time for explanations later. Right now, he had to bring Carly's blood pressure down before she had a full on hypertensive attack.

J.J. and Parker dragged their eyes away from Carly and onto Lee, the terror on their faces blatant but their eyes were completely focused.

"Parker, in the trunk of my SUV there is a cooler and inside of it is a large black medial bag. I need you to get it for me immediately. J.J., I need you to get a few washcloths and soak them in ice water then wring them out to put on your mom's neck and wrists. We need to get her temperature down." Lee said and before the last word of instruction was out of his mouth the two boys disappeared to do as he said.

Lee turned his attention back to Carly and whispered to her softly, noting that her eyes were slightly glassy and her cheeks pink with a fever flush.

"Come on, Luv. Just like Lamaze breathing, okay? Nice and even." Lee said and it was a couple of valuable seconds before she started to listen to him.

"I got it!" Parker yelled as he ran back inside the house, the black bag clutched in his hands. Carly winced as the sound of him kicking the door shut behind him echoed like a gunshot in her pounding head.

J.J. entered the room a moment later, the ice cold washcloths outstretched in his hands. To the young boy's credit, he also carried a small bowl with a couple extras covered in ice water.

Both teens handed their precious items to the kneeling man and stepped back, their eyes darting back and forth from the doctor to their mother.

Grabbing the bag, Lee opened it and pulled out a small metallic box that had the appearance of an oversized pencil case. It popped open to reveal several small vials with a clear liquid in them and Lee pulled one out to draw fluid into a hypodermic needle that Parker and J.J. hadn't even realized he was holding.

"I'm sorry, Luv, this is going to burn a little bit." Lee said tapping out a vein on Carly's left arm.

"Lee, shouldn't we take her to the hospital?" Parker asked, watching in disbelief as the man injected the liquid directly into Carly's bloodstream.

"No!" Carly spoke for the first time since she had entered the house even as her eyes closed tightly. Her words came out in gasping breaths but it held determination mixed with light panic. "No hospital. I can't…everyone will know…please, Lee..."

Lee just shushed her and placed his fingers over her pulse, watching the seconds tick by on his watch. If the medication didn't work within the first five to ten minutes of administering it, he knew he would have no choice but to bring her to the hospital despite her protests.

At seven minutes and thirteen seconds in, Lee felt the change in Carly's pulse. He lifted his gaze to her face and noticed that while still paler than normal, the color was returning. Her blue eyes fluttered open and she moaned softly.

"Mom?" J.J. ventured to whisper, the only sound either he or his brother had uttered for the entire seven minutes.

"Mom, are you okay?" Parker added and Carly just frowned, placing a hand on her forehead. She struggled to sit-up but Lee pressed her back into the sofa cushions and shook his head.

"No, Carly, you need to lay still."

"Where…what happened?" Carly asked, trying to ignore the ringing in her ears and the pressure she felt on her chest. She looked up at her sons in bewilderment. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you at school?"

"I overheard a couple people talking about the bank robbery." Parker started to explain, his voice full of worry and confusion.

"Parker texted me and we snuck into the teacher's lounge to watch the news. When we saw that Dad had gotten out okay we left and came home." J.J. finished the explanation. A brief glance was exchanged with his brother who just shook his head. It wouldn't do anyone any good to mention what else they had seen while watching the TV coverage.

"The bank…" Carly said and then everything from earlier seemed to flood back to her. Her eyes closed again, this time in anguish, and she lay back down on the pillows. Lee felt her pulse start to rise and he clamped down on her wrist, intent on grabbing her attention before her thoughts spun out of control.

"Carly, stop. You need to stay calm." Lee's voice was as hard as steel and her blue eyes shot open in shock at his tone with her. "I cannot give you another shot of medicine, do you understand me? As it is, we should call Dr. Adams to give you an emergency exam either this evening or first thing in the morning. The drug shouldn't have any effect on the baby, but it's better to be safe."

_The baby?_

J.J. and Parker silently echoed Lee's words and when Carly's hands immediately went to her stomach her sons' eyes followed the movement. They hadn't even noticed the swell of their mom's abdomen in their earlier panic and the black, empire waist, cashmere sweater had hid the still smaller than average bump perfectly. But as she lay on the sofa gravity, along with Carly's hands, pulled the material tighter and the effect was very startling.

"You're…pregnant?" J.J. said, his wide eyes going from where Carly's hands lay to her face and back again.

"Dear God, Mom! What the hell?" Parker asked, glaring down at Carly. There was a pause and then, "Is it yours?"

Lee was confused by the question until he looked up to see that the teen was staring at him. There was a slight animosity in his voice and eyes that Lee had never seen before. Lee frowned and answered the boy's stare with one of his own.

"No, it's not. I love your mom but not like that. You should know that by now."

While Parker's glare didn't diminish much, there was a flicker of shame behind it.

"Then who…" J.J. trailed off, the question obvious as was the confusion in his voice.

There was silence for a long moment and Carly glanced at Lee before looking to the boys. But even though she opened her mouth to speak, it wasn't her that gave J.J. his answer.

"It's Dad, isn't it?" Parker said, but it wasn't a question. As Carly met her oldest son's gaze she saw that he knew the truth.

"Dad?" J.J. echoed again, his brain still having trouble processing the complications that had just arisen in his life again.

Parker threw him a look of disgust and shook his head, thinking back on the past few months. It was all starting to make so much sense to him. The way his parents had acted after Thanksgiving and Christmas; the way Molly and his mom had been out in LA; the lengths she had gone to avoid Jack since their return. With a sudden burst of clarity, Parker knew the reason why.

"You haven't told him, have you?" Parker said but again it was a rhetorical statement. His jaw clenched and when Carly reached out a hand to touch his arm, he pulled away.

"I can't believe this. I fucking can't believe this! Just for once, can you not screw up? I mean, after all the damn lectures about me being careful, _you_ manage to get knocked up…_by Dad_! Then, in what I'm sure is another one of your attempts to make things better, you don't even tell him about the baby! This is perfect, Mom. Just what this family needs; more damn secrets!"

Before he could blink, Parker found himself being hauled off of his feet and practically against the fireplace mantle. He vaguely heard his mom's cries but all he could focus on was the fury blazing in Lee's eyes as he pulled him close to his face.

"You think you're a man, talking to your mom like that huh? You think you know everything that goes on, don't you? Well let me tell you something, Parker. You…don't…know…_anything_." Lee said and Parker felt a chill go down his spine at Lee's next words. "Do you have _any_ idea, how close you came to losing your mom and your new sibling today?"

Parker swallowed hard and the anger that he felt dimmed as he looked over towards the sofa.

J.J. stood with his fists clenched, ready to defend his brother if necessary but he still hovered protectively over their mother. Carly's eyes were wide and her body looked poised to spring into action if Parker needed her too, despite the harsh words he had just spoken. However, Parker saw the paleness of her face and he noticed the tremble in her as she placed one hand on one of J.J.'s fists and the other against her stomach.

Lee must have sensed the change in Parker because he released him and stepped back. But he maintained a strong look with the tense older teen.

"What's wrong with my mom?" J.J. spoke up and after a moment Carly answered him.

"Back when I was pregnant with Sage I was diagnosed with something that made me very sick." Carly started to say.

Parker frowned and he shifted on his feet. He might have been too young to remember specific details but he remembered the worry and the tension that he had felt from all the adults. He remembered that his mom had been in the hospital for a little while and after she had come home, his dad and that guy Mike had hovered around her like she was a ticking time bomb.

"As it turns out, I most likely had it while I was pregnant with Parker too. It's called pre-eclampsia and it's a disorder that…well…" Carly tried to find the words to explain it without scaring either boy.

"It causes a woman's blood pressure to rise to very dangerous levels, especially when under stress." Lee stepped in. Tossing a look to Parker, he motioned for them to sit down again. Parker hesitated a second but the growing concern for his mom, no matter how mad he was with her, took over. He reluctantly sat in the chair by the fireplace while J.J. chose to sit on the couch with Carly and Lee settled onto the coffee table.

"How bad can it get? I mean, Mom, you were practically unconscious when we walked in." J.J. asked and Carly placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm fine, sweetie." She said but Lee frowned.

"At the moment, she's fine because I was able to administer a blood pressure medication in time. Pre-eclampsia is extremely serious." He differed, ignoring the look that Carly sent him. Lee knew that her mother's instinct was to protect both boys from the seriousness of her disorder but he also knew that sugar-coating it wasn't going to help anyone at this point.

"How serious?" J.J. asked again.

"Pre-eclampsia can cause strokes, impaired kidney and liver function, blood clotting problems, seizures, and pulmonary edema…that's when there is fluid on the lungs." Lee said, citing the textbook situations.

"What else?" Parker said, quietly knowing in his gut that there was something that Lee was leaving out.

Once again Lee ignored Carly's glare and with a sad frown looked straight into Parker's face.

"In some cases, if the preeclampsia is severe enough, there is significant risk of fatality in both mother and child."

One could have heard a pin drop in the silence that followed Lee's statement. All the anger that Parker had been feeling seemed to flow out of his body and he looked at Carly with worried eyes.

"Is my mom's case that bad?" Parker asked and Lee shook his head.

"We don't know. I didn't think so, but today wasn't a good sign. We'll know more after she goes to see her doctor and he runs some tests."

"Is that why you didn't tell Dad? You didn't want him to know you were sick?" J.J. asked and Carly placed a hand on his cheek, smiling softly.

"That was part of it, yes." Carly said.

"What was the other part?" Parker asked.

"I was scared that his reaction would be like the one you had." Carly answered honestly and Parker looked away in embarrassment. Carly reached out a hand to place on his knee and looking back at her he saw no blame in her eyes, only love.

"When were you going to tell him?" J.J. asked and Carly gave a small ironic smile.

"Next Friday; on your dad's birthday. I had a whole surprise planned out. It was going to be perfect…" Carly's voice drifted off and a stray tear slid down her cheek.

Parker stayed silent and frowned. He didn't know what kind of fantasy world his mom had been living in thinking that Jack wasn't going to go completely ape-shit when he found out about the baby anyway. He had a mini melt-down every time she didn't tell him that one of them had the sniffles. And this was _slightly_ more important than a small cold.

"Your mom's doctor and I were hoping that she wouldn't develop the disorder again with this pregnancy and normally we wouldn't have been able to diagnosis it for another couple of weeks. But…" Lee said, trying to reign everyone back in to the point at hand.

"What happened today that made her get so sick?" J.J. interrupted but neither Lee nor Carly answered. J.J. saw something in Carly's eyes and though he wasn't as intuitive as his older brother, he also wasn't stupid. "You saw them, didn't you? Dad and Janet? When they were on the news?"

"J.J., shut up!" Parker said harshly but J.J. ignored him. Parker looked over to Carly and his throat tightened when he realized that J.J. had been right.

Carly nodded minutely, affirming their suspicions but she wasn't about to let them know that she had personal front row seat to the event.

"Son of a…' Parker bit out and Carly's eyes shot up to glare at him.

"Stop, Parker. This isn't your dad's fault. If he wants to be with…" Carly trailed off, trying not to show how badly she was hurting.

"Don't defend him, Mom. For once, just admit that you're pissed at him like the rest of us." Parker said, not understanding how she could stand by Jack after everything. In typical teenaged fashion, his anger and blame had swung to find a new target and Jack was in prime position. "He's doing it again, just like he did it before with Katie and Janet and…"

Parker stopped, glancing down at J.J. quickly before looking at Carly. Her eyes were a clear warning that he'd better quit while he was ahead. There was no reason to bring J.J.'s biological mom into the argument; they both remembered very clearly the chaos that she had brought into their lives.

While it was apparent by the stiffening in his shoulders that J.J. was well aware of the last name that Parker had held off in saying, he let it go and spoke up.

"So what happens now?"

"I don't know." Carly replied honestly and the exhaustion in her voice was clear. While she hadn't wanted her children to find out about the baby this way, the tension of having to keep it secret was finally released. Everyone fell silent and both boys avoided Carly's eyes as their thoughts jumbled around in their heads.

"I think…I think you need to leave."

It was Lee who said the sentence and all eyes flew to him as he took a breath and continued.

"I think you need to get away from Oakdale."

"What?" Carly asked in astonishment. Parker and J.J. just looked at Lee like he had lost his mind.

"Are you crazy, man? Mom can't…she can't just _leave_." J.J. said, angrily.

"Look, Carly, if seeing one kiss between Jack and Janet made you get this sick what happens if they do get back together?" Lee said, forging ahead while trying to ignore the anger radiating in his direction from her son.

"And what if they don't? What if when Mom tells Dad about the baby he wants to come home?" J.J. replied, still glaring at the doctor.

"So what if he does?" Parker said softly and J.J. turned his glare on his brother.

"_What?" _The shock in J.J.'s voice spoke volumes.

"So what if that's what happens when Dad finds out about the baby? You think that it's okay that he breaks up with Janet again just to play big happy family with us because it works out for _him_? How is that fair to any of us?" Parker said, trying to explain his feelings. "And what about everyone else? You think they are going to cut Mom _any_ slack this time after Dad just went and played hero for his ex-fiancée on TV? Complete with superhero kiss? Yeah, right!"

Parker could see that his brother was trying to ignore everything that he was saying. He knew that even though he didn't proclaim it every five minutes like Sage, J.J. really wanted their parents to be back together. Truth was, normally Parker would be third in line for that wish, but he didn't want it at the expense of living in a house with underlying resentment and people playing roles they thought they should play. He was old enough to realize that their family was all kinds of messed up and wishing that a baby could fix everything was just for kids. It was time J.J. realized it too.

Looking at J.J.'s troubled face, Parker tried to lighten the cold dose of reality that he had just thrown on his younger brother.

"Besides, dude, think about it. The first crack that someone like Vienna makes, you know Mom's gonna start swinging and that _can't_ be good for the baby."

While Lee had to cough to cover his laugh, J.J.'s lips didn't even twitch at the semi-joke. Parker turned to look at Carly, whose face clearly expressed that she couldn't believe her ears.

"Mom, I really think Lee is right. You…you need to leave Oakdale. At least, just until you're stronger. Then you and the baby would be okay."

Parker looked at Lee and frowned. "Right?"

"Statistically speaking, in case histories of pre-eclampsia during a third pregnancy the odds already start at 20 to 25 percent against. So like any pregnancy, the longer the baby has to develop the better the chances for survival. And in order to do that, blood pressure must be maintained at a very even level with no unnecessary stress."

Parker nodded his thanks to Lee, their earlier altercation forgotten in the common goal to make Carly and J.J. see their reasoning. Parker looked to his younger brother again, his eyes pleading with to understand and help him out. But J.J. looked away, a deep frown marring his face.

And yet, while J.J. hated even thinking about it, he knew deep down that Parker was right about the town turning on their mom again. His fists clenched as he remembered some of the things that people whispered about her back when his dad had called off the wedding with Janet in the fall. Though J.J. and his siblings knew that it hadn't been Carly's fault, it didn't seem to matter. People were always ready to assume the worst about her.

They didn't see the mom who was always ready to sit down and play a level on the Xbox with them, even when she had books to do for Metro.

Or the mom who sat patiently while they ranted about how hard their homework was and then promptly just helped them move on to the next problem.

Or the mom who, even when she grounded you, still peeked into your room to whisper that she loved you.

They weren't there to see the way she fought for him when he had been kidnapped two years ago, even when most people would have given up. He wasn't going to let the hypocrites of Oakdale watch her life fall apart again. It was his turn to fight for her, in the only way he knew how.

"Mom, Parker's right. It won't be long, just until you can get a little stronger and then you can come home and we'll figure everything out together. As a family." J.J. said and exchanged a small smile with Parker.

Carly looked between the two of them, her jaw slack and her eyes wide.

"You…" She stuttered and then shook her head. "This is crazy. Where would I even go?"

"L.A." Parker said after a moment and both Lee and J.J. nodded.

"Yeah, Mom. You could design that collection for that lady." J.J. said, getting to his feet and starting to pace slightly. Ironically enough, it was a learned behavior that he had inherited from Jack. "We know you've been working on them even if you tried to hide your sketches."

"You could live with Molly. She has tons of room and she already knows about the baby." Parker added.

"It's perfect, Luv. I'm sure Dr. Meyers would be able to take you on as a patient, especially when she helped you out the last time. I'll even give her a call today and let her know that you're coming." Lee said and Carly held up her hands.

"Whoa! Slow down! I never said I was going. In fact, the whole idea is ridiculous." Carly said, shaking her head and glaring at all three of them. "First of all, I refuse to run away from this. Second of all, I will _not_ leave my children again."

"Mom, it's okay…" J.J. said, sitting down on the couch next to her again. Lee moved so that Parker could take his place on the coffee table in front of Carly.

"No, it's not. I promised you I wouldn't leave you. I lost so much time with you when I left before." Carly said and placed a palm of her hands on either cheek of J.J. and Parker. "I can't do it again."

"Mom, this is different. We'll know where you are and we'll even get some kind of, oh I don't know…video telephone or something." J.J. said, shrugging.

"Besides, it's not forever. I heard you tell Molly that the fashion review of the collection would be at the end of May, right?" Parker said and at Carly's nod he continued. "Well then, you can just come home after that. Or if you need more time, it'll be summer vacation and we can come out and stay with you."

"What about camp? It'd be your first year as a counselor and J.J.'s last year as a camper." Carly said, realizing they were serious if they were talking about missing their beloved overnight camp.

"Get serious, Mom! Do you know how many awesome surf camps are in LA?" J.J. asked and at his exuberance Carly gave the first sign of a smile since the discussion had started.

"Yeah, I could just get a summer job out there. Maybe even lifeguard on the beach since I got certified last summer." Parker said and for a moment, his eyes glazed over thinking about all the girls in bikinis he could be rescuing.

Carly's lips twitched again as she knowingly caught her older son's eye and he blushed. Then a thought hit her and the smile disappeared.

"What about Sage? She's too young to understand any of this. I wasn't even sure how to tell you two."

"We'll help you explain it to Sage, Mom." Parker said and J.J. nodded. "But I think maybe it's best that we don't tell her about the baby yet. I love the kid and all but she's a little more…enthusiastic…when it comes to you and Dad."

There was another long pause and then Carly gave a complete, albeit small smile. Placing a hand on her gently rounded stomach she looked up at her sons, who seemed to have grown up so much in the past forty minutes or so.

"If I go, I want to talk to you every day. I don't care what time it is and I don't care if it's just long enough for you to roll your eyes at me and say hi. Do you understand me?"

"Deal." Parker spoke for all of them.

J.J. and Parker returned her smile and they bent down to hug her briefly. Lee watched in professional and personal satisfaction that, at least for a little while longer, his friend would be healthy in this pregnancy.

"Great," Carly said sighing and running a hand through her curls. "Lee's explained the medical part of the decision to you; you've explained your personal reasons for the decision to me; and we're going to explain it all to Sage together. The only thing left is how do I explain it to Jack?"

"I don't know, Mom, but I'd think of something pretty soon because..." J.J. said, turning to the rest of them from where he had moved to look out living room window.

The ringing of the doorbell echoed through the room a split second later and they all turned to stare at the silhouette behind the frosted glass of the front door.

J.J. swallowed slightly and finished his earlier statement.

"…Dad's here."


	41. A Reminder of One's Strength

**Author's Note: Hello! This will be my last chapter for a little bit since I am going on vacation. I hope you enjoy it because it started out one way and went in the complete opposite direction as this story has done several times. However, I really like how it ended up. Also, there is a part that I can't take full credit for since a variation of it did appear in the real show, but I "added" it here because it felt like it would fit so appropriately in this chapter. I'm sure you'll recognize it when you read it. LOL As always, please review to let me know if you liked it and I will "see" you when I get back!  
~JP  
**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

_"Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination  
and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your  
angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength."  
~August Wilson  
_***********************************************************************

Jack had seen Lee's car outside of the house when he pulled up, but the act of the other man opening the front door at Milltown was still unnerving. The two men regarded each other silently before Lee moved aside to let Jack in the house. Jack's hands curled into fists as annoyance spread through his body at Lee "allowing" him to enter his own home. But before he could mentally recognize that it wasn't truly _his_ home anymore he caught sight of his sons hovering by Carly, who was still seated on the couch.

"What are you guys doing home? School's not out for another couple of hours." Jack said, glancing at his watch to affirm his statement.

"We heard about the bank." J.J. spoke up. "We wanted to make sure you were okay."

Jack looked surprised for a moment and then gave him a small smile.

"I'm fine. Once the main guy was down for the count, the rest of them were dumber than a bunch of rocks." He joked but the tension in the room didn't diminish much. He shrugged and nodded his head towards the door. "Seriously, guys, I'm fine. You should head back to school."

"Why? We both have a study period and then I just have math. And we're not doing anything in that class anyway." Parker said, giving him a normal teenaged look of rebellion.

"Yeah, I have chemistry, but my group already did the experiment last week so I was just observing." J.J. added.

"It doesn't matter. School is important. You need to..." Jack started to say firmly.

"Forget it, Dad! We're not going back. We're not leaving Mom…" Parker said and then stopped abruptly when he realized what he was saying. Casting a furtive glance to her semi-panic stricken face his eyes rose to meet the confused look of his father.

"Why? What's wrong? Is something going on that I don't know about?" Jack said, narrowing his eyes in the direction of his ex-wife and then sending out the glare to his sons and the still silent man standing by the front door.

"Look, everyone, just calm down okay?" Carly said and stood, holding up a hand. "Jack, they really only each have one class left, it's silly to send them back now."

"Carly…" Jack started to protest but she held up her hand again.

"Even though I'msure their teachers will excuse them, I will drive them to school tomorrow and explain it to the principal myself."

Without waiting to hear Jack's response she turned to face their sons. "But until then, I suggest you go upstairs and get started on the homework for the classes that you _didn't_ miss today."

When both boys looked like they were going to argue she gave them the patented "Mom Look of Death" and they ended up just sighing loudly. Pivoting on their heels, they each grabbed their individual backpack from by the doorway and headed upstairs, muttering under their breath as they went. Jack couldn't quite interpret the looks that both J.J. and Parker shot him before they disappeared from sight but he knew he didn't like it.

"Okay, _what_ is going on? And don't tell me 'nothing'." Jack said, placing his hands on his hips and frowning.

"Jack, I…we do need to talk." Carly said softly and sent a look to the other man the room. "But first, do you mind going and maybe making some tea while I let Lee out?"

Jack looked between her and Lee for a moment before he let out a giant huff and stalked into the kitchen. Carly closed her eyes and released the breath she didn't know she had been holding before opening them again and heading for the front door.

Lee had surreptitiously managed to place his black medical bag by the front door without Jack seeing it and now he picked it back up as he and Carly headed outside to the front porch.

The wind from earlier had died down but it was still chilly, causing Carly to wrap her arms around herself as she shifted from foot to foot in the cool March air.

"Thanks, Doc, for coming to my rescue." Carly said, smirking at the tall Australian in front of her. Then her expression turned to confusion and she tilted her head at him curiously. "What were you doing here anyway?"

"I was on my way to the hospital to get in some paperwork when I got caught by the roadblocks at the bank. I was about to take Clover Street to bypass Main when I saw Jack and Janet on the stairs…well, you know. A moment later they were driving away and I saw you bolting for your car. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that you saw what happened and when I couldn't get a hold of you on your cell, I followed you home to make sure you were okay." Lee said, shrugging. It truly had been a matter of being in the right place at the right time; at least where helping his best friend came into play.

"So now that you've given me medication, does this mean doctor-patient confidentiality applies to the situation?" Carly tried to joke, but he could tell that part of her was serious.

"Technically, yes. But you know I wouldn't tell anyway…unless your life was in jeopardy. And I still want you to go see Dr. Adams tomorrow, just to get an all clear, even though you're going to L.A., okay?" Lee said firmly.

"Yes, sir." Carly said, mock saluting before hugging her body again. But Lee didn't smile. In fact, he gave her a very serious frown instead.

"You need to remember to take it easy, Carly. If you feel yourself getting worked up, you _must _control it at all costs, do you understand?" Lee said and Carly gave him a wan smile.

"I understand, Lee. But I gotta tell you something." She said and raised an eyebrow. "I don't think I'll _ever_ be able to be in a room with Jack Snyder and not have my blood pressure rise, due to one thing or another."

"Yeah, well, let's not test that theory today, okay?" Lee admonished and Carly let out a small chuckle.

"Okay, okay!" She said quickly. "I promise I'll try and stay as calm as possible."

Lee nodded and then cocked his head to the side, studying her intently. He knew she was trying to be strong but he also knew that this was going to be incredible hard for her to do.

"Are you going to be okay, Luv? Telling Jack that you are leaving but not the reason why?" Lee asked her and she shrugged with a small smile.

"I don't know." She said honestly and shrugged again. "But I don't think I really have a choice anymore. This baby…it deserves every chance I can give it to be born healthy and that means that I need to avoid as much stress as possible. And you and the boys are right; I don't think that can happen while I'm in Oakdale."

Lee hesitated; second thoughts about what he had suggested hitting him hard.

"But maybe _J.J. _was right in the beginning. What if Jack isn't back with Janet? Maybe…when you tell him about the baby, he'll be just as happy as you are and you two can be together again."

"Jack's happiness about my being pregnant was never the issue. He loves being a father and I have no doubt in my mind, whatsoever, that Jack will be completely thrilled about this baby. I _never_ did." Carly said, smiling softly as she looked down at her stomach. Now that she was standing the sweater she wore lay so that it hid her gently rounded stomach; another one of the tricks of fashion that Carly had been so artful at using lately. A warm glow spread through her as she thought of one good thing that came from staying in Los Angeles for the next few months.

No one knew her out there except a very select few. She would be able to wear what she wanted; to show off the life growing inside of her that she knew was created out of love no matter what the surrounding circumstances.

But those warm thoughts slid away as she re-focused on Lee's words.

"But, it was Parker who was right." Carly sighed and leaned against the porch railing briefly, her eyes sad. "I wouldn't want Jack to come back to me that way. Maybe if I hadn't gotten pregnant, we might have been able to start again without any strings but not now. Now if he came back to me I would just wonder if it was because of the baby. And while it might have been a good enough place to start once, it's just not enough anymore. I need Jack to love _me_ for _me_, not because he feels 'responsible' for me and our kids."

Lee frowned and moved closed, wrapping his arms around her. "Okay, Sweetheart. I just want you to be happy."

"I know, Lee." Carly said, hugging him back. She pulled away and leaned up to kiss him at the corner of his mouth, quickly and softly. "I love you, you know that?"

"Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say." He teased, but tweaked her nose before winking and grabbing his bag from the porch floor. "I'll call you later, okay?"

She nodded her head, waving as he got into his car and drove away. The smile that was on her lips faded as she turned towards the front door. Taking a deep breath, she headed back inside to face Jack.

Carly was startled to find him standing with his back to her, staring at the pictures on the mantle. By the way he was concentrating, Carly could tell that he had been there a while and had not overheard her conversation with Lee, something that had occurred to her only when she had re-entered the house.

A mug of steaming hot tea rested on a coaster on the coffee table and Carly could see that Jack held one of his own. She walked to the couch and settled into the cushions, reaching for her cup.

"Thanks for making the tea." She said making Jack jump slightly. Turning, he looked at her in mild surprise.

"I didn't hear you come back in." He admitted his eyes far away in thought. He turned back to the fireplace and lifted a picture with his free hand. "This is a good picture of all of us."

Carly glanced at the one he held and smiled. "It's one of my favorites."

"You know, I never even saw you coming with that piece of cake." Jack chuckled at the memory.

"Serves you right! You were going to try to do the same thing to me!" Carly said, her eyes twinkling.

Jack laughed loudly this time and glanced over at her. "I think the kids were laughing so hard that they actually snorted soda."

"Yeah, well…they learned that kind of behavior from you." Carly said, sipping her tea in mock offense.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He blinked innocently, making Carly laugh into her tea. He grinned at her and turned to replace the picture. "Just don't try anything like that at _my _birthday dinner next week."

Carly's smile immediately disappeared and she placed her mug down.

"Jack, please sit down. There…there's something I have to talk to you about."

Grabbing one of the sofa pillows, she placed it in her lap and proceeded to play with a loose thread hanging from it. Not only did this action keep her focused but the pillow also served as an additional barrier between her...her stomach more specifically...and Jack as he also sat down on the couch.

"Something_ is_ going on. What is it?" Jack demanded, his gaze intense.

"I don't…I don't know how to say this…"

"Carly, just tell me. You're starting to scare me." Jack said reaching out to still her hand on the loose thread. When Carly tried to pull her hand away, his grip just tightened.

"There won't be any birthday dinner, Jack. I've decided to accept that design job in L.A. and I'm leaving as soon as possible." Carly said as quickly as she could get the words out and still be comprehensible.

"_What?_" Jack exclaimed but she knew he had understood her when he dropped her hand like a hot potato. "What are you talking about?"

"The job to create the fall youth collection for MoJo Designs. Don't you remember me telling you about it?" Carly said and Jack frowned.

"Yeah, I remember. You met the lady in a store in L.A. and she recognized you from BRO. Then she offered you a job designing for her, right?" Jack asked and Carly nodded, biting her lip. It was as close to the truth about the circumstances of the meeting as she could have told him. He shook his head in confusion. "But I thought you turned her down. You said you couldn't possibly go that far away, for that long."

'I changed my mind. It's too good of an opportunity to pass up." Carly told him as he stood up from the couch and started to pace slightly in front of the fireplace.

"But what about the kids?" Jack asked and she frowned.

"I already talked to J.J. and Parker about it and they are okay with me going. In fact, they _want_ me to go. We're...um, we're going to tell Sage tonight at dinner." Carly said and looked up at him, her eyes following his movements.

"That's great, Carly. And when were you going to tell me, huh?" Jack paused and glared at her.

"I'm telling you now, Jack! I know it was a last minute decision and I'm sorry about that, but it's the right one for me." Carly said, glaring back.

"According to who? To you? To _Lee_?" Jack spit out, pointing towards the front door. "Is _he_ going to be out there with you while you leave our kids behind again?"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Jack's gaze flew to Carly's wounded face. His eyes closed in instant regret and he ran a hand over his face. Opening them he made his way to sit down on the couch again, wincing as Carly drew away from him.

"I'm sorry. I'm _so_ sorry. I didn't mean that." Jack said, the sincere regret in his eyes cooling the hurt in Carly's heart a bit. But that didn't stop the tremble in her body or the pain in her voice when she spoke.

"Yes, you did, Jack."

"No, I…I don't know why I can't…" Jack tried to find the words to explain. He raised his gaze to face and shook his head. "I really _have_ forgiven you for that, Carly. It's just…I remember how I felt when I knew you were leaving on that plane with him. It felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest and now, I guess I just feel like it's happening all over again with…"

Jack trailed off and Carly placed a hand on his cheek, her thumb brushing away a lone tear that escaped to run down his face. While his previous words still left an ache in her heart, this was really the first time that he let her see how much her leaving with Simon had actually hurt him.

"No, Jack, Lee is staying here. His life is in Oakdale and so is mine, eventually. But right now, this is something that I _have_ to do."

"Carly, you know I have never discouraged you from designing. Never. Your choice in business partners, yes, but never your ability to create amazing fashion collections." Jack said causing Carly to smile.

"I know." She said, her thumb caressing his cheek reflexively.

"But why now? The kids told me that woman has called you almost every weekend since you've been back, even after you said no, and you _still _refused the job. What's changed your mind so suddenly?" Jack asked and Carly dropped her hand from his face, looking down and playing with the loose thread of the pillow again.

"Nothing, in particular. I just re-thought all my options, that's all."

"Come on, Carly. I know you better than that." Jack scoffed and shook his head. He sent her a thoughtful look and gave a small smile. "Besides, I thought that we were…I don't know. I thought things were getting better between us."

"Yeah, I thought so too." Carly said, the mental image of Jack and Janet from earlier flashing in her mind. Needless to say, the sarcastic bite in her words did not go unrecognized.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jack asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Nothing." Carly said, it being her turn to shake her head.

Jack frowned and just stared at her a moment. A sudden tug on his recent memory made his eyes look to the coat hooks by the door. The red coat hanging up confirmed his suspicions and he looked back at her in surprise.

"It _was_ you. You were there today, outside of the bank. Weren't you?" Jack said.

Carly didn't reply but he could see it written on her face. He thought back and rose quickly, moving back towards the fireplace. He shoved his hands in his pants pockets and sighed.

"Then you saw…"

As his words trailed off, Carly's eyes finally lifted to send a pain filled glare in his direction.

"Oh yes, Jack. I most definitely _saw_." She echoed his words and he shook his head.

"No, you don't understand…"

"I don't need to understand, Jack. You haven't been my husband for while now and you were engaged to the woman not so long ago. It's perfectly natural…" Carly said, trying to remain as calm and rational as possible even as she was screaming on the inside.

"No, stop, Carly. Listen to me, okay?" Jack interrupted and she looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "That kiss was nothing. It meant…it was just us saying goodbye."

"Oh _really_?" Carly said, letting out a caustic chuckle. "I'd really hate to see the way you two said hello, then."

"God, would you listen to me?" Jack said, his irritation building. "I'm telling you that the kiss meant nothing other than to say that we've both moved on with our lives."

"Oh, yeah, okay. I'm sure that the rest of Oakdale, when they watch it on the news tonight, will see it the same way." Carly said, her tone no less scathing than before.

"Dammit, Carly, knock it off!" Jack shouted, running a frustrated hand through his hair.

"No, Jack! You knock it off!" Carly yelled back, shaking her head. "Now it's _your_ turn to listen to _me_."

Jack moved to open his mouth and Carly shook her head again, pointing a finger at him.

"I told you. I told you that I wasn't going to do this anymore. This…back and forth between us. This horrible game of 'I hurt you and then you hurt me'. It's too hard and too painful for everyone involved." She said empathically. "I _also_ thought that we were beginning to find our way again but when I saw you today with Janet…Jack, I couldn't breathe. It just brought every doubt that I had from the beginning back into focus."

"But…" Jack started to say but Carly kept going.

"Now, I know you said it was a goodbye between you two and maybe it was. And maybe down the road, after I get back from L.A., you and I can try again but right now I have to do this. I have to learn to stand on my own two feet again; for me, for our kids, and maybe, in the end, even for us."

As the words left her mouth, Carly knew that they were true. The whole idea of going to L.A. had started because of the secret of their baby, but the more she thought about it the more it became clear why she truly _had_ to go. Carly looked up at Jack and he was surprised by the look of sudden clarity in her eyes.

"Do you remember that young woman you fell in love all those years ago? The one who had such big dreams of a life blending a successful career with you and her children?"

"I still see her, Carly. Every time I look at you." Jack said softly and she gave him a wistful smile.

"But I _don't_, Jack, and that's the problem. I think that maybe part the reason that things got so bad between us was because I lost sight of who I was inside. And it may sound corny, but it's true." Carly said. "I mean, I love Metro, don't get me wrong, but I've wanted to design clothes since I was child, Jack. And I'm damned good at it!"

Jack gave a small smile and stayed silent, knowing that Carly wasn't bragging, just simply stating a fact.

"I had the great home life, but after that last failed attempt at BRO I gave up designing. Then I tried to find that same excitement I got from sketching out new ideas and putting together a collection in other ways. But every time I tried, it went wrong and ultimately I lost everything, including that beautiful life at home with you and our kids. But instead of slowing down, I tried even harder to find that thrill. I think, in order to fill the void that was just getting bigger and bigger inside of me."

"Is that why…" Jack started to say but stopped, not wanting to bring up his name again after what happened a little while ago.

"Is that why I became involved with Simon?" She finished for him and at his glance she gave a rueful chuckle. "Maybe in the beginning. But he really wasn't such a bad guy. Definitely not the most ideal candidate for a stable relationship, but he made me feel special and sexy and wanted. Simon reminded me that I had a lot to offer when I didn't feel that I was worth much anymore."

Jack visibly flinched at her words, his gut twisting inside as he realized that it had been his fault that she had felt that way. His stubborn pride had kept him from telling her back then that he loved her and that he was wrong in wanting the divorce until it was too late. As angry as he had been with her and Simon, he knew that part of the blame lay at his feet as well.

"And by the time that I realized things were no longer fun and exciting but very dangerous, it didn't matter. I was too deeply involved to get out and…" Carly trailed off, not needing to finish. They both knew what had happened then.

"I just don't want anyone…I don't want our kids to get hurt like that again." Jack said and she looked up at him, nodding her understanding.

"I know, Jack. And the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt them. You know that." Carly said and this time Jack nodded. "But Parker and J.J. really _are_ okay with me going and while it might be a little harder on Sage, I know it'll be all right."

"So you want them to come live at the farm?" Jack said and Carly frowned at his question.

"Of course. But if they can't stay with you, Lee offered to let them stay with him." She said, perplexed. Even though Lee hadn't offered, she knew he would if she asked him to.

"No, that's not what I meant. I just figured, well, maybe it'd be easier if I moved here...into the house...while you're gone. That way it doesn't disrupt their lives too much." Jack said and Carly blinked in surprise.

"Um, yeah, I think that'd be fine. If you're sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." Jack nodded and she returned the gesture. A moment of silence reigned and then Jack let out a sigh.

He walked over and sat back down on the couch, taking her hands into his and looking into her face.

"Carly, for what it's worth…I'm sorry. For everything that I did or didn't do when we were together that made you feel like you weren't enough. Maybe I never told you this as many times as I should have but you and our kids…the life we made together...was _everything_ to me."

Carly let out a quick shuddering breath and her eyes filled with tears.

"Hey, it's okay. I mean, it wasn't so bad, was it?" She asked.

Her aim was to lighten the moment but instead the question came out soft and uncertain. Jack shook his head, a pained smile on his face.

"A lot of it was pretty wonderful." He said, his voice husky with emotion.

Carly didn't say anything, just nodded and bowed her head, her long sleek blonde hair shielding her face from his sight. But by the slight shake of her shoulders, he knew that she was crying.

In a move that sent an unexplained sense of déjà vu through both Carly and Jack's bodies, Jack placed his hand on the side of her face and shifted towards her. His lips pressed to her forehead where her hairline started for a long moment; tears that he didn't know he was shedding falling to land silently in her hair. Even as he pulled his mouth away he bent his head so that his forehead was now resting against hers and Carly closed her eyes, her own tears slipping down her cheeks. They sat like that for what seemed to be hours but in reality was only a matter of seconds before Jack pulled away to look into her face.

Her blue eyes opened to meet the warm brown ones of the man she loved more than life itself. The urge to kiss him, to taste his lips upon hers before she left for L.A., swept over her but she held back for both of their sakes.

Instead she gave him a small smile and with a shaky and tear filled voice said, "Goodbye, Jack."

Jack didn't reply, his throat too tight with the remainder of his own unshed tears to even speak. He smiled softly back at her and stood up, heading for the doorway.

Again, the oddest sense of déjà vu overcame Carly and it sent an uneasy tingle down spine. She couldn't explain why, but she knew she didn't want those to be the last words she said to him today. Somehow, they felt too much like a final goodbye.

"Jack!" She called after him.

Jack turned back, slightly startled as he noted the smallest hint of desperation in her voice. Having only completed the thought that she had to say something else, Carly searched her brain to find the next words.

"I'll…I'll, uh, bring you something back from LA, okay?"

Jack stared at her a moment and the smile he gave her was such a combination of sadness and longing that it made her heart twist inside her chest.

"Baby, all I want when you come home…is you."

The sincerity in his voice and his eyes took away any of the banality that would normally be attributed to someone saying something like that. Carly felt the tears well up in her eyes again, forcing her to look away from him and place her hand over her mouth to stifle a small sob.

As he let himself out of the house and closed the door behind him Jack's words hung in the air, leaving a stunned and shaking Carly behind in their wake.


	42. Teenagers, Parents, and Inherited Traits

**Author's Note: Hi guys! Yes, I am back and I want to thank everyone for being so patient. I intend to have the next chapter up by the end of the week or the very latest by Monday. Please let me know if you guys are still enjoying this story, because I really hope you are! :) Until next time...!  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_The main problem with teenagers is that they're just like their parents were at their age."  
__~Unknown  
_************************************************************************

By the time that J.J. had followed his older brother into the house, Parker had managed to throw his baseball equipment on the floor and was already turning the videophone on.

"Dude, calm down. I know it's only one-thirty there but Mom's probably not even home. Knowing her and how she gets when she designs stuff, she's probably at the office." J.J. said, shaking his head as he dropped his own stuff next to Parker's.

Parker paused momentarily before shaking his own head. "No, Mom had her doctor's appointment at eleven, remember? She's probably back at Molly's by now."

J.J. just rolled his eyes and in the time it took for him to grab a couple chocolate chip cookies from the kitchen, Parker had entered the password to enable the video connection. Flopping down and biting into one of the soft cookies, J.J. watched as his brother dialed the phone number.

Not more than thirty seconds later the 15 inch video monitor flickered to life and Carly's face appeared on the screen.

"Parker?" She said upon seeing his face staring back at her. Her voice was soft and curious.

Parker's earlier enthusiasm dimmed as he took in the weariness on his mother's face. Her eyes were slightly red and puffy, the tell-tale signs that she had been crying recently.

"Mom, what's wrong?" Parker asked and J.J. immediately bounded over to peer over his brother's shoulder. "Did something happen at the doctor's?"

"No, I'm okay. Just got a little hormonal over an orange juice commercial." Carly shook her head and forced a smile on her face that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Mom…" J.J. warned, the looks on both of the teenagers' faces telling her that they didn't buy her excuse one bit.

Carly closed her eyes a moment and sighed.

The truth was that while Dr. Nancy Myers had been as kind as Carly remembered back in January, she had been forced to re-iterate the odds that Carly was facing. Now that she was at 20 weeks she had been officially diagnosed with pre-eclampsia and the doctor had told her that the fatality risk was now between 20 and 25 percent. Then Nancy had uttered the words "medically sanctioned abortion" and Carly had sworn ice water had been thrown over her and seeped into her veins. After a few minutes Molly had managed to talk Carly down from her verbal assault on Dr. Myers who, for her part, had seemed to expect the reaction and barely flinched. When Carly was calm again, she repeated her decision from the first time she had been presented with that choice; it wasn't an option.

But as Parker's impatient huff brought her back to the present, Carly knew that she couldn't burden her two beautiful sons with what she had been through that morning. They had been more supportive than she could ever ask for in the month that she had been in L.A. following the decision in Milltown.

Carly hesitated only briefly before shaking her head again. "I'm fine, guys. Just really tired. Molly is making me some tea and then I'm going to lie down before my four o' clock meeting."

Parker frowned at the idea of Carly having a business meeting when she was obviously exhausted. He didn't believe for a minute that she was really okay and he knew that J.J. felt the same way, but pushing their mom wasn't going to solve anything at the moment.

"Mom, take it easy, would you? Tomorrow is Sunday so just…relax. No meetings, no designing. Just rest. Maybe go to the beach with Molly, okay?" Parker said and J.J. nodded his agreement, causing Carly to give them a real smile.

"Yes, sirs!" Carly said, mockingly and giving them a small salute.

Both Parker and J.J. rolled their eyes but they must have been semi-satisfied with her response since Parker's shoulders relaxed and J.J. wandered back to the couch to flip absently through a comic that was lying about.

"So did you call for a reason or just to give your poor mother some grief?" Carly said, her mood already lifted by talking to her kids. She had known that she would miss them but it was still surprising how intensely it hit her sometimes.

"Oh yeah!" Parker said, his eyes lighting up again as he remembered the reason he wanted to talk to her in the first place. He held up a long white envelope and waved it in front of the screen. "It came today!"

Carly's face showed confusion for a split second and Parker forged ahead before she could say anything.

"The internship letter!" Parker said and Carly chuckled.

"Oh, wow." She said and then looked into his excited face with a small frown. "Parker, honey, I know Molly said that she'd put in a good word for you but the decision is up to the heads of the station. She doesn't even know if…"

"I know, Mom. Besides, if I don't get it I can still get a job out there for the summer doing something else. Come on, we already talked about this. Even if Sage still says she wants to go to camp this summer instead of going to L.A., both J.J. and I are coming out there to be with you."

Carly was about to protest but she saw the mulish set of her son's jaw line and sighed. No use arguing with him when he was like this; it would be like arguing with a brick wall. Sometimes his stubborn streak astounded her and she honestly couldn't fathom where he got it from.

"Okay, Sweetie." Carly said and then motioned to the envelope that her son clutched in his hand. "Aren't you going to open it?"

Parker nodded and tapped one end of the envelope to the desk, before shooting her a small look. At her reassuring smile he took a deep breath and tore off the now empty edge.

Pulling out the thin letter his eyes skimmed the words on the page before looking back at the monitor. Carly's encouraging smile was still on her face but her eyes gave away her anxiety for her son.

"I got it." Parker said softly, his voice almost in a whisper. A huge grin split his face as he jumped out of the chair at the same moment the front door opened and Jack entered the house followed by Sage in full dance regalia. Parker charged at his younger sister and picked her up as he yelled again even louder. "I got it!"

"What in the…" Jack said, his eyes wide as he watched his youngest child laugh her head off as her brother swung her around in a wide circle like a lunatic.

"I got the assistant producer internship at Molly's radio station!" Parker said, his blue eyes sparkling as he finally placed Sage back on the ground.

The little girl stumbled a moment, trying to catch her breath before flopping down onto the couch next to J.J. He rolled his eyes as he slung his arm around her, but none the less offered her the non eaten half of his final cookie. Sage grinned and took it, and then they both turned their attention back to their ecstatic sibling and very confused father.

"The internship…Parker, what are you talking about?" Jack asked and Parker paused in his jubilation.

"The one I applied for when Mom went out to L.A. The deadline for them to pick wasn't until next week so I thought that I might not get it, but I just got the letter today. They said that my grades were excellent and my essay was well written and the mock video interview was a great idea. They said that with someone as eager to learn as I was that they can't wait to get me started. They said I have a lot of potential and that even though it's not a paid internship, there might be some days where I get to go to studio sets and help Molly interview the celebrities. I start in the beginning of May."

When Parker finally stopped to catch his own breath, Jack jumped in.

"The beginning of May? Parker, your school term doesn't end until May 25th." Jack said, frowning.

"Dad, come on." Parker's frustration was evident as he glared at Jack. "You and Mom said that if I wanted to even apply I had to get every single one of my teacher's permission to take my finals early. And I did. And I got the internship. And I'm going!"

Jack closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, as he tried to recollect what his son was talking about.

The truth be told, the entire week after Carly told him about her decision to go out to L.A. was a slight blur. He didn't know it was possible for someone to move 2000 miles away in just under a week but somehow Carly had managed to do it. And just as she had predicted, Sage had been upset at first but quickly realized that this was completely different than a couple years ago and before long was eagerly talking about weekend trips to spend on the beach.

It only took a couple more moments before Jack remembered how, around the second day after he had moved into Milltown that Parker had come bounding into the kitchen where Jack had just finished making dinner. He was eagerly babbling about an internship that Molly had told him about on the phone. Since the video phone hadn't been hooked up yet, he and Carly had talked for the first time since her leaving on the regular phone about it and come up with the terms that Parker had just repeated.

Opening his eyes he sighed. "And you've talked to your mom about it already?"

The sound of a throat clearing was very familiar and Jack's eyes went to the video screen where he saw Carly staring back at him from the monitor. She wiggled her fingers in a wave hello as she tried to keep her lips from twitching upward in a smile.

"Hey, Carly." Jack said, slightly sheepishly.

"Hey, Jack." Carly echoed and stealthily shifted closer to ensure that her rounded stomach was hidden from view.

"Hi, Mommy!" Sage called from the couch and Carly's face lit up at the voice.

"Hi, Baby! Come into view so I can see you!"

Sage didn't hesitate and hurried over to obey and catch a glimpse of her mother.

"Is that a new dance outfit? Let me see!" Carly said. Sage grinned as she gave a small spin to show off her brand new lavender leotard and let the short, gauzy, dance skirt swirl around her. She came to a finish and leaned back against Jack, who instinctively wrapped his arms over her torso.

"Do you like it? Aunt Lily got it for me the other day. Natalie has a light green one but I like mine better. See how mine just has sparkles on the sleeves?" Sage said and Carly nodded. "Well, hers has sparkles all over and it really is too much for the outfit. Especially when you add the skirt. It looks a little tacky, but I didn't tell her that since it might hurt her feelings."

Carly had to bite the inside of her cheek at the serious words of her budding mini fashionista.

"I love it. Purple looks fabulous on you and I completely agree about the sparkles." Carly said and Sage giggled, before sending a serious look at her.

"Mommy, you're still gonna make my costume for my dance recital right? Ms. Holmes said that if I work really hard that I'm a shoe in for a solo and you know whoever gets a solo during the summer recital gets a lead in The Nutcracker! Aunt Emma said that if you can't that she'd try her best but that she wouldn't be able to do anything as pretty as you can." Sage said and Carly tried to hide the surprise she felt at the kind words of the Snyder matriarch.

"Baby, your dance recital isn't until the end of August. I'll be home by then." Carly said, pushing the thought that her due date was around the same time.

"Okay, cause I was just…" Sage started to say but Parker cut her off.

"Sage, Mom just said she'd be home. Besides, this isn't about you for once so can we get back to my internship, please?"

"Parker Joe Snyder!"

Even over two thousand miles away and on video monitor, the sharp reprimand in Carly's voice still made Parker stiffen in apprehension.

"Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry!" Parker said, trying to backpedal as he saw his chances of being able to accept the internship slipping away at the fire in his parent's gazes. "It's just…I _really_ want this."

"Okay, go upstairs and as soon as you guys are all done showering we'll order pizza." Jack said and shooed them all towards the stairs. J.J. and Sage called their goodbyes to Carly, with Sage blowing a kiss for added measure. Parker looked like he was going to protest but at the last minute though better of it and grabbing his baseball stuff like his brother had, said goodbye to Carly as well. Her expression softened a moment and she sent him a small wink behind Jack's back. Parker let out a tiny smile back and then disappeared upstairs like this siblings.

"Well, what do you think?" Jack asked, turning back to settle at the chair in front of the monitor.

Carly sighed and placing an elbow on her own desk, propped her chin in the palm of her hand. A lock of her blonde bangs fell in front of her face, causing Jack's hand to twitch at the urge to brush it behind her ear for her even through a video screen.

"I think it's a huge opportunity for him. I talked to Molly about the internship and she assures me that it's not all fun and games. It's actually a pretty demanding schedule but a majority of the kids who intern there end up with fabulous letters of recommendation to very good schools. And if that's what Parker ends up deciding he wants to do, then that along with his grades could really give him a boost." She said and Jack nodded.

"Which would be great for him. I mean, I know that with his trust fund he could afford to go to any school he wants anyway, but knowing our son I think he'd rather get into college on merit not money." Jack said and Carly gave a wry laugh.

"Well we know he didn't inherit that from _my_ side of the family."

"Hey, come on." Jack said, frowning at her. "You've changed a lot, Carly, and you should be proud of who you've become. I know I am."

"Thank…thank you, Jack." Carly said blinking back her tears of surprise that suddenly filled her eyes.

When it looked like Jack was going to say something else, Carly's brain scrambled to find something to say to cut him off. There was no way she could endure him being the G-man she fell in love with and not tell him her secret…not after the emotional morning she had.

"Um, so we agree then? Parker can accept the internship?"

Whatever Jack was about to say, slipped his mind as he started at Carly's abrupt change in demeanor.

"Uh, yeah. I don't see why not. Like you said, it's an enormous opportunity." Jack said and Carly smiled.

"Well, I know Mattie will be relieved at not being out here alone." She said and Jack cocked his head in confusion.

"Mattie?"

"Oh yeah, didn't Parker tell you? Mattie is going to be interning under me while I create my line. She's going to help run the fashion show and then she and a couple of the interns from MoJo Designs will help with the business prospects of whoever wants to buy the line. _If _anyone wants to buy the line."

Carly's attempt to distract Jack with a joke failed miserably as his eyes narrowed.

"Are you telling me that Parker and Mattie are both going to be staying with you and Molly over the summer? I mean, I know that they are just friends but still…under the same roof?"

"Yes, Jack, under the same roof. And get this...I'm not even going to dead bolt their bedroom doors!" Carly said, the sarcasm dripping off her tongue. "In fact, I thought I would just put up huge neon signs towards Molly's backyard and hot tub that says 'Teenage Sex Lounge This Way'."

"Carly…" Jack's tone warned that he wasn't amused but she just rolled her eyes.

"Come on, Jack. Do you really think I'm so stupid that I haven't already anticipated this? Look, even though they already spend 90 percent of their time together anyway, Parker will be with Molly at the station all day while Mattie is with me, even most weekends. Parker will be sleeping in the loft bedroom that used to be Molly's office, which as the word 'loft' implies, means that there are no walls. Mattie's bedroom is all the way down the hallway directly next to mine. And if that's not enough, Molly's bedroom is on the _other_ side of Mattie's so in case I don't serve as bodyguard enough, you _know_ Molly will knock some sense into them if it comes down to it."

"And let me guess? Lee is okay with this?" Jack couldn't help but ask even as he saw Carly's eyes narrow at the question.

"Yes, actually. _Lee_ trusts me." Carly bit back and Jack ducked his head a moment.

"I'm sorry. I do trust you, Carly. It's just…" Jack frowned and shrugged. "I guess I just remember what it was like to be a teenaged boy with crazy hormones."

"I bet you were quite the ladies man when you were Parker's age." Carly's eyes sparkled as she teased him and Jack smiled, shrugging.

"Actually, I was pretty awkward until my cousin Seth let Holden and I work out with him in the barn in the mornings when I came out to stay with them during the summers. By the end of our freshman summer I had learned how to stay fit and actually put some muscle on. _Then_ I had to beat the girls away with a stick. Half-heartedly, of course."

Carly's uncontrolled full on belly laugh made Jack's heart swell and he realized just how much he had missed hearing that sound. He remembered a time that even when they were fighting, there was no one who could make him laugh the way that his Carly could, especially at himself. He didn't nearly laugh as much as he used to and he briefly wondered when that had happened.

Carly laughter died down to a quiet giggle and Jack raised his eyes to her face, the beauty of her overwhelming him all over again. He resolved once again to do whatever it took to make her realize that they were meant to be and there was nothing and no one who could come between them.

Before either one could say anything else, a voice called out on Carly's end of the phone.

"Your tea is getting cold, Cuz. And you need to come lie down and rest before your meeting. You know you are supposed to be taking it easy…" Molly trailed off as she wandered into the living room and caught sight of Jack's face on the video screen. "Oh, um, hi, Jack."

"Taking it easy?" Jack frowned and sent a look to Carly's suddenly pale face. "Are you okay, Carly? What's going on?"

"Oh, um, nothing. I've just had a migraine for the past couple of days. Doctor said it's probably just due to my body adjusting to the ocean air climate." Carly covered quickly and before Jack had a chance to remind her that she'd had almost a full month to adjust already, she smiled brilliantly. "But, Molly is right. I do have a meeting later today, so I should probably go. Tell the kids that I love them and I'll talk to them tomorrow, okay?"

"What? Uh, yeah, of course." Jack said, his confusion still evident. But Carly just waved, Molly doing the same in the background, before Carly quickly said goodbye and clicked the video screen off.

Making sure the phone was properly hung up, Carly whirled around to glare at her cousin. Molly held up her hands in an apologetic gesture and backed up an inch.

"Whoa there, Attila! It was an accident, okay? I didn't know you were on the phone with Jack. But nice cover by the way!" Molly said, planting her hands on her hips and tilting her head to look at Carly with an amused smile. "Speaking of covers and excuses, have you given any thought to what you're going to tell Jack when you see him again about…?"

Molly waved her one hand in the direction of Carly's stomach and raised an eyebrow.

Carly didn't answer, just rolled her eyes at her persistent cousin before grabbing onto Molly's outstretched hand to help pull her out of the chair. In silence she made her way towards the kitchen where her tea waited on the counter and then headed to go lay down in her room. But even the closing of her bedroom door wasn't enough to stop Molly from getting her last say in.

"Come on, Carly, think about it. Jack might not be a doctor but even _he_ isn't going to buy the 'ocean climate' story when you pop back into Oakdale in four months either looking like a beached whale or carrying a wiggling infant in your arms!"

The loud exasperated sigh that emanated from Carly's room echoed throughout the open house. It made Molly smile in satisfaction, knowing that her words and the underlying point would now be tumbling over in her cousin's brain for the next few days at least.

"You're not the only one who can be pigheaded, Cuz." Molly muttered as she also turned to go pour herself a cup of tea. As she meandered back out to the back deck to continue reading her novel, Molly made a mental note to turn up the volume on the video phone again.

It was going to be hard to keep "accidentally" walking into conversations if she couldn't hear what was going on.


	43. Education Can Happen In A Lot Of Things

**Author's Note: I know, I know...I promised to update by Monday. I'm sorry guys but real life intruded again and I didn't finish this chapter until today. However there is a little treat for you all at the end. A special dedication to Allie, who kicks my butt into gear every time. :) As always...enjoy!  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Experience, travel - these are as education in themselves."  
__-Euripides  
_************************************************************************

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are now making our final descent into the Los Angeles area." The overly pleasant voice of the head flight attendant came over the intercom and everywhere along the plane the sound of seatbelts clicking together was heard.

She continued speaking but after that statement the passenger in seat 4A, had completely tuned her out.

A hand reached and clamped itself onto Parker's thigh in an iron tight grip, causing him to look over at its owner.

"Yank, I _know _you're eager to be in California and see your mom, but if you don't stop shaking your leg I'm going to cut it off, right here, right now." Mattie said, her green eyes glaring at him.

Parker hadn't realized that he was doing the annoying motion, but at the seriousness in her tone and her look, he knew he was going to be making a real conscious effort _not_ to do it again. Glancing across the aisle in first class, he saw Lee trying hard not to laugh.

Parker gave an apologetic look to Mattie, before immediately leaning forward into her space to look out the window.

"Ugh," Mattie said, practically throwing her hands up in the air as his shoulder pressed into her collarbone. "I forgot how annoying you were on a four hour plane ride."

"Hey, just be glad that your uncle got us first class seats instead of coach. At least there is a little more room." Parker said and Mattie rolled her eyes.

"For _some_ people." She muttered.

This time, Lee couldn't help but let out a small chuckle at he took in the exasperated look on his niece's face. Then glancing at his watch he nodded in satisfaction that they were going to be landing right on time.

When it had come time for Parker and Mattie to fly out to L.A. to begin their internships, it had been Parker and J.J.'s idea for Lee to volunteer to go with them. Despite the good reports Lee had received from Dr. Meyers and shared with the two teenaged boys, it wasn't surprising that they wanted his personal opinion too. Lee knew that he was the only doctor right now that they truly trusted with their mom and he wasn't about to let them down.

Besides Lee also knew Carly and he wanted a chance to make sure that she really wasn't overdoing anything and that this extended stay in California was working out. He would give her his own brief examination as well as discretely talk to her cousin, Molly, about her stress levels.

Although, if he was truly honest with himself, that wasn't the_ only_ reason he was looking forward to see Molly again.

Thinking about honesty, Lee couldn't help the twinge of guilt that he felt as he remembered everything that had happened when he arrived at Milltown to pick Parker up earlier that morning.

While J.J. was okay with not making this particular trip out, Sage was understandably upset at not being allowed to go see her mother. Even though they all tried to appease her by reminding her that she would be going to L.A. in two weeks for the fashion show and a week late celebration of Mother's Day, in the end Sage had stomped upstairs and refused to speak to any of them.

Jack had assured them that she would be fine, even though Lee could see on his face that he was just as frustrated at not being able to go out to L.A. either. When he had asked Lee to say hello to Carly for him, the Australian had felt the tension behind his obligatory words. While Lee wasn't really dating Carly, he knew that him going out to see her was just one more piece of evidence to the contrary in Jack's mind.

In reality, Lee wanted nothing more than to reassure Jack that he only felt a deep brotherly bond with the woman they both loved, but it wasn't his place. He only hoped that when the truth came out, he and Jack would be able to become friends seeing as how Lee truly liked and respected him.

"Suh-weet, we're here!"

Lee was pulled out of his thoughts by Parker's enthusiastic statement and almost immediately afterwards felt the bump as the landed on the runway. At the smattering of applause from the people in the plane, Parker rolled his eyes.

"What? They're clapping for the pilot." Mattie said, noticing his exasperation.

"Oz, I have nothing against pilots, but clapping when they land is ridiculous. It's kind of their _job_ to land the plane." Parker pointed out. "When a pilot safely makes an emergency landing in say, a river like that guy did in New York a few months ago, _that's_ when you clap!"

"Okay, okay." Lee said, cutting off an argument between the two of them before it started. "Just get your stuff together and make sure you have everything while I call Carly to let her know we've landed."

With frighteningly similar sighs, the two teenagers did as he asked and he pulled out his cell phone to dial.

"Hello?" Carly's voice sounded in his ear and he smiled.

"Hey there, Stranger." Lee said happily.

"Hey, Doc! Molly said that she just saw that your plane had arrived on the display screen. We're ready and waiting for you."

"Great! You know, it really was a brilliant idea to send ahead their luggage last week. Made traveling with just carry-ons so much easier."

"Well that idea was all Molly, but I agree." Carly laughed.

Seeing that they were getting ready to let people off the plane, Lee motioned to the kids and stood up.

"Okay, Luv. We're getting off now. See you in a few."

They said goodbye and not more than 10 minutes later they stepped out in the bright California early afternoon sun, heading for the predetermined rendezvous spot.

It was Parker who spotted them first, walking faster before breaking into a jog to reach his mom's open arms.

"Oh I missed you!" Carly exclaimed, wrapping her arms around her oldest son's neck. As much as they argued more since he entered his teens, there was an enormous bond between her and her firstborn.

"I missed you too, Mom." Parker said and then pulled back to look down in surprise. "Um, you've…"

"I believe 'popped' is the term you Americans like to say." Mattie broke in, not able to hide her own shock at Carly's stomach. But Carly just laughed and hugged the teenaged girl before letting go and resting a hand on her abdomen.

It was true that while Carly was still smaller in her pregnancy than average, there was no way she would be able to hide that she was pregnant any longer. But then again, out here, she didn't attempt to. Dressed in a cute spaghetti strapped spring dress with a cropped sweater over it, Carly was obviously enjoying being able to embrace her new figure.

"You look good, Luv." Lee said, taking his own turn to hug her and she smiled.

"Thank you, I try." Carly said and then looped her arm with Parker's. "What do you think?"

"I think you look _a lot_ more relaxed then the last time I saw you in person and that's what counts." He said pointedly and she gave him a soft smile of appreciation. Her son was growing up to be a very fine young man.

"Well, okay that's enough fawning over her. She might be the pregnant one but _I'm_ the one who's starving. She said we couldn't have lunch until you got here!" Molly piped up and they all laughed.

An hour and half later, along with some very persistent whining from Parker and Mattie, they ended up at the beach by Molly's house after lunch. While no one was wearing bathing suits, it was the lure of being so close and not going that ended the discussion. The carryon luggage was forgotten in the back of the Acura SUV, that MoJo Designs had leased for Carly's use while she was in California, as Parker and Mattie hurried ahead to test the ocean's temperature with their jeans rolled up. When the two pointed out several sun bathers and swimmers, Carly just calmly pointed out over the ocean where dark clouds were forming in the distance.

While the two teens rolled their eyes and turned back to the water's edge, the three adults stood further up on the beach with their arms looped like a scene from a modern day _Wizard of Oz_.

"So, are you really more relaxed?" Lee asked, glancing down at Carly who was in the middle of the trio.

"Yes, I'm fine. And since I gave Nancy permission to share my medical information with you, then I know that you know that already."

"I also know that you tend to take on more than you should." Lee said pointedly and Carly let out a sigh of frustration.

"Lee, come on, stop it. My sketched out designs have been done for a couple weeks now, they are in the final process of being created on fabric, and my show line up is working out perfectly. The only things that are missing are my kids and I'll get to see them all soon when you bring them out for the show."

"Hmm, speaking of which, have you talked to Sage today?" Lee asked, frowning.

"Yes, actually, she called just after you guys left this morning. She's still not thrilled but she'll be okay. Lily is going to take her and Natalie to the movies tonight and then have a slumber party." Carly said, frowning as she recalled her distressed daughter's conversation. Then she couldn't help smiling again. "Did I mention that Lily and the girls are coming out for the show? They're going to be in it, along with Mattie, Parker, J.J., and Sage."

"Even Abigail, Brayden, and some of their friends volunteered to model the young adult part of the show." Molly added, bumping her chin to Carly's shoulder with a proud grin.

"What? You couldn't afford real models?" Lee teased and Carly unlooped her arm from Molly's long enough to swat his arm before replacing it again.

"No! In fact, that's whole reason I asked them all to be in it. I want this to showcase how the collection works with _'real'_ people, not models." She said and he smiled.

"I know! I know. I was just joking, Luv."

Carly made a noise, but didn't comment. Then, noticing that Parker and Mattie had gotten bored from just wading in the ocean and were now walking along the beach, they began to follow them.

"Did you, um, invite anyone else to come to the show?" Lee asked, trying to sound causal as he squinted up towards the sun.

Carly was quiet for a moment as they walked before sighing.

"You mean, did I invite Jack?"

"Yeah." He admitted and she shook her head.

"I...I can't. There would be too much going on that day to fully deal with what would happen when he saw me like this." Carly said and then a moment later she sighed again. "Besides, Lily heard that he was on duty that weekend anyway so he wouldn't be able to come even if I wanted him too."

"So you were _thinking _of asking him?" Lee pushed, choosing not to point out that Jack could easily switch shifts with someone.

"Yes, I was, but then reality set back in and I chickened out. Are you happy now?" Carly asked, stopping and glaring up at him. "And you know what? It's fine. _I'm_ fine. My kids will be here with me and in the end that's all that matters."

Not giving either Lee or Molly a chance to say a word, she turned on her heel and began walking back towards where they started. The other two adults stood still for a second before calling to the teens and motioning that they were heading back.

Molly and Lee walked together in silence, but when he looked over at her he could see that she had the same expression of concern on her face that he was feeling inside.

"She's not _'fine'_, is she?" Lee asked, stopping. Following his lead Molly stopped and looked up at him.

"Well, physically, yes. She eats right, goes to the doctor, gets enough sleep, and is great about taking breaks at work. But emotionally, _no_, I don't think she is. I mean, she's right about missing the kids. I can tell how much it hurts her to be away from them every time she has to hang up that damn videophone, but…"

Molly trailed off and shook her head before continuing.

"There's a piece of her missing and I know that it's Jack. Lee, we both know that she's had plenty of time to figure out how to tell him about the baby. Now I'm worried that when it _does_ happen, it'll be too late to be on her own terms. It's...it's almost as if she's thinking that if she waits long enough to tell him, then the confrontation won't come at all. That suddenly there will just be this new baby and everything will be fine."

"And what do _you_ think?" Lee asked.

Molly looked away and saw the dark clouds that they had noticed rolling in from over the ocean earlier had become larger and more menacing.

"I think that the phrase 'calm before the storm' was never more appropriate than their situation right now." Molly answered him, switching her gaze from where the lifeguards on duty were now beginning to call to swimmers to come in to the man waiting patiently next to her. "I'm just wondering where that storm is going to leave her and Jack when it's all over."

It was Lee's turn to shake his head now and looping his arm with Molly's they began to walk again.

"I don't, Luv." He said softly. "But almost anything has got to be better than where they are now."

***********************************************************************************************  
**And now, for my wonderful and loyal readers...a special preview of the next chapteror.  
*************************************************************************************************

_  
As if by magic, the crowd parted enough for him to slip backstage and almost instantly he heard the voice of the woman he had been searching for._

_"Carly, that was incredible. You won't believe…" Jack's voice trailed off as he finally caught sight of the woman he had trying to spot all day._

_Carly's face paled as Jack's gaze swept over her body, including her well rounded stomach that was encased in the dusty-rose colored maternity pants suit that she had designed._

_"Oh my God…Jack." Carly gasped._

_However as much as she tried to get her brain to follow up with something else more intelligent than just his name it suddenly seemed to have turned itself off._

_"Carly, what the _hell _is going on?" Jack said his eyes widening and his voice gaining in volume. When he repeated himself, she swallowed hard._

_"Jack, I swear to you…I can explain."_


	44. Fashion Is In Everything We Do

**Author's Note: Okay, so again real life is kicking my butt. LOL But as a very wonderful fan/reviewer pointed out, my friend P.J. updated her amazing story, so fair is fair! This is a rather long chapter so enjoy!  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky,  
__in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening."  
__~Coco Chanel  
_************************************************************************

Lee tapped his foot impatiently as he glanced from his watch to the clock over the airport baggage claim for the specific airline he was waiting for. He had no idea why he did because it had only been a few minutes since the last time he checked and the news was no better than before.

The flight that J.J. and Sage were booked on was now a whole twenty minutes late. At this rate, he would barely have an hour and half to get them to the hotel and up to the suite to get ready. He just thanked the big man upstairs that the show was an early evening affair that would start off with cocktail hour to entertain the clientele.

"She's going to kill me!" He muttered, raising his hand to his forehead in a weary gesture. "No, correction. She's going to kill the president of the airline and _then_ she's coming after me just for fun."

Lily and her kids had been able to fly out yesterday, Holden staying behind because of some huge to-do over possibly getting a Derby winner as a stud for his horses. They had arrived in the early afternoon and settled into the hotel that was hosting Carly's outdoor fashion show in their overly large and exquisitely convenient pavilion. Mattie and the other MoJo intern, as well as Parker, Abigail, Brayden and some of their friends who would also model, had gone over this morning to finish helping with preparations.

J.J. and Sage were supposed to arrive with Lily yesterday but J.J. ended up having a major last minute calculus final that his teacher had stubbornly refused to let him make-up at a later date. Sage, although incredibly excited to both see her mom again for the first time in over a month and model in the fashion show, had absolutely refused to fly without him. So, they had re-booked to the earliest flight out on Saturday morning and Lee had been chosen to pick them up when they arrived, which suited him fine.

He had originally thought to go hang out with the guys who were modeling, including Parker and Brayden, in their assigned suite on the top floor of the hotel. But all the young men, the oldest still a good 18 to 20 years younger than Lee, were pre-occupied with the Playstation 3 that had been hooked up and the stack of games next to it. Lee had managed to stay a grand total of 30 minutes before he accepted the fact that he preferred a real basketball game to the fake one that had everyone yelling like lunatics at the TV screen.

And while he had been welcomed in main dressing headquarters, he had balked there too. There had been way too much shouting and too many women running around half-dressed in the hotel's large four bedroom penthouse suite for him to feel comfortable staying and still call himself a gentleman afterwards. In the end, it didn't matter, though. When he had given explicit instructions to Molly, Lily, and Carly about not letting Mattie run around in anything less than a full terry-cloth robe that was tightly tied, he had promptly been shoved out of the door and sent to the airport instead.

"Lee!"

The man in question's head shot up at the sound of his name and he grinned to see Sage bouncing on her heels on the escalator, waving like mad. Lee waved back and nodded his head to J.J. who was standing beside her, rolling his eyes. Then Lee's entire body stiffened as he noticed the familiar face riding down along with them.

Jack gave Lee a casual head nod, but there was no mistaking the cat that ate the canary grin on his face.

"Oh, for the love of everything that is holy…" Lee muttered, his eyes widening and his hand dropping to his side. "This is so _not_ good."

Yet, when they reached where he stood, Lee did nothing but grin and say hello while hugging Sage to him briefly.

"Hey, Lee." Jack said, reaching out his hand.

"Hey, Jack. What a surprise!" Lee said, shaking his hand and smiling a smile that he hoped didn't give away how stunned he really was.

"Yeah, I know. I kept thinking about it and thinking about it and finally realized that I couldn't _not_ come. I mean, not only are my kids in the show, but I've never missed one of Carly's fashion shows before." Jack said, shifting his carry-on bag up higher on his shoulder. Lee's eyes followed the movement and recognized instantly that Jack had not come for just the night.

"I, uh, I thought you were on duty all weekend." Lee asked, tilting his head in confusion.

"Oh, I was. But I covered for another cop recently and he is paying me back by taking my shift now. Margo signed off on it and here I am." Jack replied.

"Huh…here you are." Lee repeated, making a noise in his throat and blinking hard. "Does, um, Carly know you're coming?"

Even as he asked the question, Lee knew the answer. There was no way that Carly would have been as calm as she was this morning when he left is she had known. Well, as calm as one could be as they yelled out last minute orders to a room of people. In fact, Lee had been worried about Carly's blood pressure but when he had taken it, he had been stunned to find that it was completely steady and normal. Molly had just chuckled and patted him gently on the head, saying something about fashion _being_ Carly's blood.

"Nope," Sage piped up to answer Lee's question, grinning. "Daddy is going to surprise her."

"Oh, you can say that again, Luv." Lee said sending a smile her way even as he felt his sweat glands start to kick in.

A loud buzzing noise sounded and a flashing red light interrupted them.

"Daddy, the luggage thing is moving. Come on!"

Jack gave Lee a slightly apologetic smile and let himself be tugged over to the now moving luggage carousel. Just as J.J. was about to follow, Lee swung his arm around the young teen's neck and gave him a smile that could have passed for a scowl.

"Way to let me know that your dad was coming!" Lee said and he felt J.J. shrug under his arm.

"Dude, I tried to text you, Parker, _and _Molly as soon as Dad said he was going this morning. Parker was the only one who answered and I only got _that_ message when we landed here!" J.J. said and Lee shook his head.

"Why didn't your brother call me?"

"I don't know!" J.J. said, exasperated. When Lee pulled out his cell phone, he groaned and showed J.J. that it had accidently been turned to silent. Scrolling through, they noted the six missed calls from Molly and Parker, not to mention the fifteen text messages, five of them within the last half hour from a very frantic Parker.

"Your mother is going to freak." Lee said with a sigh, running his hand through his wavy brown hair in frustration.

"You _think_?" J.J. said, giving him a look but then he became serious. "Hey, Lee, is she going to be okay, health-wise? I mean, this isn't going to send her into an attack like before…is it?"

Lee had grown very serious too and he frowned. "Honestly, this on top of the show…it's not good, J.J. While your mom is one of the strongest women I know, I don't think she could handle both at the same time."

J.J. watched as Jack grabbed their bags when Sage pointed out her hot pink suitcase as it passed by and then J.J.'s own neon green one.

"Then we'll just have to keep them apart until the show is over." J.J. said simply after a moment, shifting his backpack higher on his back. Lee looked at him and J.J. stared back. "It shouldn't be too hard, right? Mom's gonna be in the suite or backstage the whole time and you have to have a security pass to get in those areas, right?"

"Yeah," Lee said and they both stiffened slightly when they noticed that Jack had managed to grab the last suitcase, a large black and red one that was apparently his. "What the hell, mate? I know that you and your sister are staying until Monday to celebrate Mother's Day a weekend late, but what is your dad doing? Staying the rest of the bloody summer?"

"Lee, the way he was whistling the whole car ride to the airport, he's_ definitely_ got something up his sleeve." J.J. said, barely finishing his sentence as Jack and Sage walked back over.

"Since when do you let other people get your luggage for you, J.J.?" Jack asked, his voice disapproving.

"Sorry, Dad. I was just asking Lee something and got caught up." J.J. said, reaching out to take his roller board.

"Uh, huh, right. Well, we're good to go." Jack said and clapped a hand on Lee's shoulder. "I hope you have room in your car for an extra person, expected or not."

"Oh, no problem. You're just lucky Molly lent me the SUV or else you'd be walking to the hotel." Lee said, his brain picking up on the subtle sarcasm and giving him a little right back.

Jack blinked and laughed, clapping his hand on Lee's shoulder again. In that moment, Lee knew there had been a small "guy truce" declared. As he drove them to the hotel, however, he wondered how long that truce would last once Jack found out about Carly.

Upon arriving, Lee let the valet take the car and led them inside the expansive hotel. Upon walking to the elevators, he bypassed the first four to reach the far left one where a man with a security uniform silently stood guard.

The small group turned confused looks to Lee, who just smiled back reassuringly.

"The hotel locked off this elevator to go straight up to the penthouse suite where everyone is getting ready for the show. No one can go up without an escort."

"Can't you take us up?" Sage asked and Lee shook his head.

"No can do, Sweetie. But no worries, I messaged ahead for a very special companion."

No sooner had the words come out of his mouth, did the elevator ding and the doors slid open.

"Molly!" Sage cried and hugged the grinning woman tightly.

Lee glanced at Jack and couldn't help but feel a small stab of guilt at the look of disappointment that briefly crossed his face.

"Hey, Molly." Jack said and Molly did a very good job of looking surprised to see him.

"Jack, hi! Welcome!" Molly said and gave him a hug too, then passed on to J.J. "I can't believe you made it. Carly's going to be so surprised."

Lee felt J.J.'s eyes slide to him but he refused to meet the boy's gaze. He was having enough trouble holding back the nervous laughter that was bubbling up inside of him.

"Where is Mommy? Why didn't she come down with you?" Sage asked, peering around Molly into the still open elevator doors as if Carly was hiding in the corner.

"Oh, Sweetheart, she wanted to but she is so busy upstairs. She can't wait to see you though! You ready?" Molly said and almost in the same breath looked up to speak to Jack and Lee. "Sorry, guys, but from this point on it's models, worker bees and the queen bee herself until the show."

"But…" Jack started to say, but Molly was already checking the kids' names off the model list that the security guard had and shooing them into elevator.

"Like I said, Jack, I'm sorry, but we'll see you out on the runway okay? Go take advantage of the open bar during cocktail hour. Lee's name is on the guest list for the show and I'll call down to add you too! Don't worry; I won't breathe a word to Carly!"

Before either man could say another word, the doors started to close and all three inside were waving goodbye.

Jack and Lee stood there a moment before turning to each other.

"So, how about that drink, mate?" Lee asked and Jack frowned a moment before answering.

"Um, yeah, why not? A beer or two couldn't hurt."

"Great!" Lee grinned and cheerfully pointed out the way to the pavilion.

But in his head, Lee was anything but cheerful as he added. 'You're gonna need them.'

Meanwhile, back in the elevator J.J. and Molly had exchanged a few looks over an oblivious Sage's head.

"Nice save down there." J.J. said as they reached the top floor.

"Thanks." Molly said and Sage turned to look at them in confusion.

"What save?" She asked but they both waved her off.

"It's not important, Sage." Molly said and led them down the hallway to the suite where they could hear very animated voices, laughter, and occasionally yelled orders.

When Sage eagerly reached out for the door, Molly placed a gentle but firm hand out to stop her.

"Sage, honey, I know you're excited to see your mom but we need to talk for just a second."

Sage looked at J.J., but when her older brother caught her eyes, he immediately looked away. Frowning she turned back to Molly.

"What's going on? Is something wrong with my mom?"

"No, Sweetie. Actually it's just the opposite. Your mom…she…uh…" Molly stumbled over the words and tried desperately to think of a way to break it to the little girl.

Sage let out an impatient huff and crossed her arms. "Is this about the baby?"

Molly's blue eyes widened and she shot a look to J.J., who now wouldn't meet _her_ eyes.

"You…you know about…" Molly said and Sage nodded.

"Parker called and told me last night, when Daddy went to go get pizza for dinner, so I wouldn't make Mom upset when I saw her. And I know it's supposed to be a secret even if I _still_ don't understand _why_." Sage said, throwing her last remark over her shoulder at J.J.

"Just trust me, Squirt. It has to be this way for right now." J.J. said, placing a hand on her shoulder. Sage just shrugged and reached for the door again.

"Look, I'm finally getting a baby brother or, hopefully, a sister. I really don't care why it's a secret. _Now _can I go see my mom?"

"Oh by all means!" Molly said, laughing as Sage shoved open the door and darted inside. Sending up a prayer that all the models seemed at least mostly attired in their first runway outfits, she hurried in after the girl along with a wide-eyed J.J.

"Mommy!" Sage's cry foretold that she had indeed spotted her mother and both Molly and J.J. looked in time to see her throw her arms around Carly, stomach and all. The blonde woman had been in the middle of taking off the light-weight jacket of the beautiful silk suit she wore and still had one arm in the sleeve.

"Sage! Hi, Baby!" Carly said, shaking off her momentary shock and hugging her daughter back just as hard as she could. Seeing J.J. she stretched out her arms and pulled him in to the hug as well.

"Uh, Mom, you're choking me." J.J. said a few moments later, causing her to release her hold and laugh.

"I don't care. I missed you guys so much!" Carly said, a few stray tears sliding down her cheeks and she hastily brushed them away.

"We missed you too, Mom." J.J. said, grinning at her and looking down at her stomach. "Apparently, we missed a lot!"

He hesitantly put a hand on her abdomen and after a second Sage's joined him.

"Is it a boy or a girl, Mommy?" Sage asked, her brown eyes so much like Jack's staring up at her.

Carly didn't question how her daughter was so accepting of this new baby or even how she knew, only relished in the fact that she didn't have to explain it. However, she was certain she had one of her sons to thank.

"I don't know yet, Baby, but I'll find out my next appointment." Carly said, placing her own hand over top of Sage's.

"You're gonna have to stop calling me that soon." Sage said, giggling and Carly's eyes widened as she realized that she was correct.

Molly could see that Carly was suddenly struggling to stay focused and quickly interceded.

"Hey, Sage, there's someone over in the other room with your first outfit and a couple girls by the names Natalie and Faith who have been waiting not so patiently for you to arrive."

"Oh awesome! Bye Mom." Sage said and immediately made a beeline towards where Molly pointed at one of the bedrooms.

"Yeah, Mom, I'm gonna go get ready too. See ya soon. You're gonna do great." J.J. said, giving her another quick hug. Molly told him where the guy's dressing room was and he waved before also disappearing from sight.

Molly watched Carly blink a few times and stepped forward to place a hand softly on her cheek.

"You okay, Cuz?"

"Um, yeah, I'm fine. I was just…" Carly answered then trailed off.

"Thinking about Jack?" Molly said and Carly's own blue eyes shot to meet those of her cousin before letting out a shuddering sigh.

"I'm fine, really, Molly." Carly said and before Molly could say anything else, one of Abigail's friends walked by and caught Carly's eyes. "Wait, uh, Kelly, right?

"Yes, ma'm." The tall redhead said, nodding.

"Okay, hold on one second. Who told you to wear the black heels?"

"Um, Irina, I think." Kelly said, pointing at the other intern that was working with Mattie from MoJo Designs.

"Okay, well, please change into the green ones and then give the black ones back to Stacey." Carly said, trying to remain composed seeing as how this was the third accessory mistake in the last twenty minutes. Giving Kelly an encouraging smile, Carly excused herself and immediately hurried over to have a nice little 'chat' with the intern, every thing else forgotten in that one second except her show

"What's going on? Carly okay?" Lily asked, appearing on Molly's right, startling her slightly.

While the two women would never be best friends, they had put aside their differences in order to work for a common goal; the mental and emotional health of Carly.

"What? Oh yeah, she's fine. For now, anyway." Molly said and Lily gave her an inquisitive look.

"What do you mean, _for now_?"

"Jack's came with the kids to surprise Carly." Molly said in a low voice, watching the woman of subject "calmly" explain what accessories went with what outfit…again.

"He _what_?" Lily exclaimed, just barely able to keep her voice quiet as Molly's words sunk in.

"Please don't make me say it again. I might scream if I do." Molly said, grimacing at the thought of how much of it was going to hit the fan in a couple hours.

"Does Carly know?" Lily asked.

"_Are you kidding me_? Do you _want_ her to go into stress induced labor in the middle of the runway?" Molly exclaimed and Lily shook her head in amazement.

"You know, all these years and these two still have to do things the hard way."

"You said it." Molly agreed and exchanging a look, both women went back to helping out with the models even though their minds on what was going to happen in a few hours.

Everything seemed to progress at a very rapid pace from that moment on. Just over an hour later they were getting the final call to head backstage to start the show.

Lee had originally been placed in the front row, but when Jack had disappeared to 'run an errand' he had managed to trade seats with a couple of boutique store owners for their 10th row seats by claiming he was far-sighted. In actuality, they were still close enough for Jack to see the kids on the runway but far enough that Carly wouldn't see him in the audience.

Noticing the huge bouquet of flowers that Jack had gone to purchase earlier, Lee had never been more relived when he saw Jack coming his way at the beginning of the show. He had thought for a moment that the other man had tried to sneak backstage to see Carly. When Lee had jokingly said his thoughts out loud, Jack had given him a strange look and said that he would have but he didn't want to make her nervous. Lee's mouth had gone dry and in the end he just turned away to watch the show.

Almost an hour and a half later Jack fidgeted in his seat. He knew that Carly's congratulatory bow was coming up soon and prayed the three beers that he had drank with Lee before the show would hold off. But another minute passed and he knew he was doomed.

"I'll be right back." Jack whispered to Lee, who turned a startled look in his direction. Before Lee could say a word, Jack was grabbing the bouquet of red tipped peach roses as he whispered his apologies and he scooted out into aisle. Maybe if he hurried…

But sure enough, just his luck, it was the one time the men's line was as long as the women's. After relieving himself and washing his hands quicker than he thought possible, Jack sprinted back out to the pavilion. But instead of making his way back to his and Lee's seats, he was forced to stay in the back due to the standing ovation that was going on. Even peering over the tops of everyone's heads all he saw was Carly's blonde hair disappear backstage once again.

Finally the emcee for the evening announced the show was over and interviews would start in ten minutes. Jack briefly though about finding Lee again, but just as quickly dismissed the idea. He wanted to talk to Carly alone, without his rival standing guard.

After a few minutes of weaving his way towards the front of the pavilion and stage area, he was grinning from ear to ear. He wasn't surprised that her collection was getting as much praise as it was but hearing it come from everyone around him his the smile turned into a full on grin of pride. He couldn't wait to see her and tell her how amazing she was.

As if by magic, the crowd parted enough for him to slip backstage and almost instantly he heard the voice of the woman he had been searching for.

"Carly, that was incredible. You won't believe…" Jack's voice trailed off as he finally caught sight of the woman he had trying to spot all day.

Carly's face paled as Jack's gaze swept over her body, including her well rounded stomach that was incased in the dusty rose colored maternity pants suit that she had designed.

"Oh my God…Jack." Carly gasped.

However, as much as she tried to get her brain to follow up with something else more intelligent than just his name it suddenly seemed to have turned itself off.

"Carly, what the _hell_ is going on?" Jack said his eyes widening and his voice gaining in volume. When he repeated himself, she swallowed hard.

"Jack, I swear to you…I can explain."

"Carly, is everything okay?" Lily asked as she came around the corner. She stopped suddenly and stared at the scene in front of her. "Whoa."

"No, Lily, everything is _not_ okay!" Jack said loudly, shooting a glare her way.

"Okay, Jack." Lee's voice suddenly cut in and within an instant he appeared at Carly's side along with Molly on the other.

Lily and Molly communicated silently with each other and Lily turned immediately to go intercept the kids and other models and herd them back inside via another route.

"Look, mate, I totally understand your confusion but now is not the time or the place for this discussion."

Jack blinked hard and turned his stunned look on Lee. His eyes narrowed and his grip on the now forgotten roses tightened to the point that a thorn pierced his palm. However, the sting and the subsequent trickle of blood that ran down the side of his hand weren't even felt, as he glared at the other man and the two women left in front of him.

"Excuse me, _mate,_ but I don't think this is any of your business." Jack practically growled at him.

"Actually, Jack, it is very much my business." Lee said. While inwardly acknowledging the shock that Jack must be feeling, Lee could already sense that Carly's blood pressure was beginning to rise by the slight flush of her cheeks and her semi-erratic breathing, not to mention the pulse point he felt as he held her wrist.

"How exactly _is_ that, Lee? Unless that's your...unless she's..." Jack suddenly trailed off and Carly wanted to cry out at the look of betrayal that he gave her. But even though everything inside of her screamed at her to just tell him the truth then and there, if only to erase that ugliness in his eyes, her brain couldn't find the right words and so the silence loomed.

"Jack?"

Molly was the one who spoke up now. Her blue eyes darted nervously to the throng of reporters who were in the final stages of security on their way to interview Carly and then back to the rest of the small tense group.

"Jack, the kids are really excited to see you and I think you could use a distraction right now. They should be done changing soon and then why don't you take them back to the house in my SUV? As soon as the interviews and business end is taken care of here, we'll meet you there?"

Molly held out her set of car keys and jingled them slightly as if to catch Jack's attention. For a moment it looked like he was going to protest, but instead he reached out and grabbed them.

"Parker and Mattie can tell you how to get there and I'm sure we'll be right along." Molly said, ignoring the angry way he had yanked them out of her hand, her eyes flickering to her cousin.

Carly was still frozen in place and the only sign that she was even aware of her surroundings was the tremble that was running its course up and down her body. It was a good thing that Molly and Lee both had hold of her elbows because she was certain that her knees would not support her right now.

Jack looked Carly up and down once more before nodding his head succinctly. Turning on his heel without saying a word, he had barely taken two steps before the reporters rushed in, all clamoring at once for Carly's attention

_"Congratulations, Ms. Tenney, your clothing line is a hit!"_

_"We hear MoJo Designs is already prepping to ask you for a winter collection!"_

_"Did you know that fashion representatives from three different movie studios were here and they are all raving about you?"_

_"After your past trials with Barbara Ryan Originals, how do you feel now that your own dreams have come true?"_

Carly was aware now that both Molly and Lee had stepped back to allow her center stage, so to speak, as the reporters all waited patiently for her answers to their questions. Just as she was about to open her mouth she caught sight of something out of the corner of her eye.

A lush bouquet of peach colored roses with crimson tips peeked out over the lip of one of the backstage garbage cans. Several of the stems were dangling over the side, bent and broken by the force from which they were tossed into the trash.

It took everything she had to turn a smile to the waiting mass in front of her, choosing to look in the direction of the reporter who had asked her the last question. She barely saw him through her watery gaze and she prayed they interpreted the tears glistening in her eyes as happiness instead of the absolute pain clenching her heart and soul.

"How do I feel? I couldn't even _begin_ to describe it."

*************************************************************

**Additional Author's Note: So...now that Jack knows Carly's pregnant, we're all square about giving me time to update right? *evil laugh* Reviews are very very welcome ;-)**


	45. Bend It, Twist It, Cannot Change It

**Author's Note: Okay, I normally would have had this chapter up much earlier but I went back and had to rewrite some of it because...well...simply put, Jack came off as a major jerk. And that's not how I wanted him to appear in this chapter. Still not completely satisfied with it but hey, that's a writer's perogative right? Anyway, I hope you enjoy it as always...and no threats please! LOL I know it's slow torture right now but there is a rhyme and reason to it, I promise! Besides, if you're really good (aka hitting that nice little review button) _maybe_ I'll post the next chapter by the end of the weekend ;)  
****~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_You can bend it and twist it... You can misuse and abuse it... But even God cannot change the Truth."  
__~Michael Levy  
_************************************************************************

"He hates me."

Molly glanced at Lee and then turned over her shoulder to reach out her hands to the forlorn woman in the backseat who was surrounded by piles of clothing.

"Carly, he does not hate you. Jack could _never_ hate you."

Carly looked up and ignored her cousin's offer of comfort. Instead she just looked back at her, blue eyes shining with unshed tears, and shook her head. "Did you see the look on his face when he saw…?"

She trailed off and looked up at the SUV ceiling, drawing in a deep shuddering breath. "He hasn't looked at me that way since…God, since the whole disaster with Simon."

"Cuz, everything's going to be okay." Molly tried again and this time Carly sent her a scathing look.

"Molly, please don't patronize me. I'm not a child." Carly spit out. Her fear and insecurity was starting to mesh with the self-directed anger that was bubbling to the surface.

"Then stop acting like one."

Both Molly and Carly turned wide surprised eyes to Lee.

"Excuse me?" Carly asked, in shock over his words.

"I said, if you're not a child then stop acting like one. Stop with the pity party and start thinking of a way to get Jack to understand all of this." Lee said, taking one hand off the wheel to wave aimlessly and his eyes flickering to the rearview mirror then back to the highway. "And do it fast because we're only 20 minutes away."

"Lee, do you not get that you are involved in this too?" Carly asked, mimicking him by waving one hand around while the other rested on her stomach. "Jack thinks that this is _your_ baby."

"Then we'll just find a way to calmly tell him the truth that it's not." Lee said and then caught her eye in the rearview mirror again, his face very serious. "And I mean _calmly_, Carly. I cannot give you a shot this time. You are too far along now and it would be extremely risky for you _and_ the baby."

Carly's other hand now came to lie on top of her stomach as well and as if the baby knew it was the topic of discussion, the little tiny body rolled over. Closing her eyes, Carly absorbed the slightly uncomfortable movement and sighed.

"I promise you, Baby. No matter what happens, I will do whatever I have to, to keep you safe." She whispered. Again the tiny being inside of her rolled and then was still, as if accepting its mother's promise and was finally content.

They fell silent again, each lost in their own individual thoughts. However, this time when Molly reached a hand back, Carly accepted it. They finished the car ride with their hands clasped tightly.

Just as Lee said they pulled into Molly's driveway not more than twenty minutes later. Yet while Molly's SUV was parked there, an eerie quietness surrounded the house.

"I spoke to Lily before we left the hotel and she took the kids to the pier for a nice celebratory dinner and some fun." Molly said, as the slowly got out of the car.

"All of them?" Lee asked, the uncertainty of Lily's ability to handle that many kids in his voice.

"Well, Abigail and Brayden went, plus J.J., Parker and Mattie are old enough to go off on their own for a while in a group. So really she's only watching her kids and Sage." Molly said and then she then looked at Carly and shrugged. "Anyway, this should buy you and Jack at least a couple of hours to work everything out."

Carly arched her eyebrow and Molly raised her hands.

"Okay, well, maybe not _everything_ but enough."

Carly took a deep breath and stepped to the house with Lee and Molly following closely behind. Upon opening the front door, Carly was surprised to find herself facing an empty living room. A large part of her expected Jack to be standing at the doorway, arms crossed and ready to fight.

"Where is he?" Molly asked quietly, her own eyes searching the lower level of the house.

"Drowning himself in beer?" Lee suggested but at the glares both women sent his way, he held up his hands in apology. "_Okay_…bad joke."

"Jack wouldn't do that." Carly said, shaking her head and thinking about Jack's family's past with alcohol.

"But don't think I wasn't tempted."

At the sound of Jack's voice they all turned to the back door leading to Molly's deck. In their anxiousness they hadn't noticed the lights on and the soft outdoor sounds that were floating into the house through the screened door.

He slid the screen aside and slowly walked in, a beer clutched in his hand. Lifting it in Molly's direction his eyes, however, were locked on Carly.

"Hope you don't mind, Molly. After Lily took the kids out, I kinda helped myself."

"No, I, uh…in fact, I think Lee and I are going to go indulge in one or two in the kitchen. Isn't that right, Lee?" Molly said, her eyes darting back and forth between Carly and Jack.

"Oh, yeah, right, Luv. Nothing like a good cold one to wash down sitting through almost 24 hours of pure fashion madness." Lee quipped and then was practically shoved into the kitchen by an exasperated yet slightly amused Molly.

Carly and Jack stared at each other in silence for a few moments before Jack waved his hand indifferently.

"Do you want to change?"

"Um, no, I'm okay. Thanks." Carly replied, but did remove the scarf she wore around her neck and twisted it in her hands. "Did you eat anything? I think we have left over lasagna from last night."

"No, thank you. I'm not hungry." Jack said, with the same amount of awkward politeness.

The silence fell again, but it only lasted a few moments before Jack let out a sigh. In that one second with that one lone sigh, Carly knew that the forced civility was over.

"You know what the worst part was about seeing you like this?" Jack said and his eyes fell to her stomach again, even though it was the last place he wanted to look. "When I saw you, the first thing that came into my mind was that you were going to have my baby. Not just _a_ baby, but _my_ baby."

A bubble of hope soared into her chest and she couldn't help the smile that graced her face. She opened her mouth to speak but didn't get the chance.

"But I know that's impossible. My God, you're what…five months? I mean, I'm no expert but I remembered back to how you looked with Parker and Sage."

Even at six and a half months, she knew that she was smaller in this pregnancy than she had been before. It had been a point she had brought up to Dr. Adams, Dr. Meyers, and even Lee, but they had all assured her that the baby was growing perfectly fine. Every pregnancy was different and Carly just happened to fall on the smaller scale this time around.

"No, you're no expert, Jack." Carly muttered, her eyes narrowing. "I'm actually…"

However, Jack either hadn't heard her sarcastic comment or chose to ignore her because he kept going right over her words.

"Plus, we were only together that one night and that, to you, was an accident anyway." Jack said, again so intent on his little speech that he didn't see Carly protectively place her hands on her stomach at the word "accident". "You and Lee must have been together much more than that…obviously."

Carly was so blindsided by that snide ending comment that, for a moment, she didn't even have a response. Instead she just looked at him, shell shocked.

Finally she shook her head, feeling the beginnings of anger stirring inside. "Jack, that's not fair. I…"

"_Fair_?" Jack said and his eyebrow arched. "You're…you're _pregnant_, have been for what looks like a while now, and_ I'm _the one who's being unfair_?_"

"If you would just let me explain!" Carly said, frustration entering to mingle with her rising anger. Jack made a very ugly noise in his throat that made Carly wince inside.

"Oh yeah, Carly, that sentence is so much better. But, please be my guest and _explain_." He bit out and she could feel the tears welling in her eyes at the sudden barely concealed venom in his voice.

"Jack, stop! Just listen to me for one second…" She started to say but when he took a step toward her, something in his eyes made her take a step back. She knew in the deep recesses of her soul that he would_ never_ physically hurt her but she couldn't help the instinctual move.

"When were you going to tell me, Carly? And what about the kids? I can't believe you had them covering up your mess." Jack said, running a frustrated hand through his hair.

"It's a _baby_, Jack. Not a mess." Carly's eyes flashed fire and he could see the anger radiating off of her. "And I was going to tell you…"

She didn't get to finish her sentence as Jack scoffed loudly.

"_When_? When you were letting me make a fool out of myself as I practically begged you to give our family another chance? Were you and Lee laughing behind closed doors when I left you roses on _our_ bed? How about every time that I told you I loved you and wanted to start again? Were you having a good laugh over me making an ass out of myself?" Jack said his voice rising with every word.

Jack's mind was racing and his mouth was saying things that he normally would have never said aloud. But with his anger and humiliation levels on overload he found he couldn't help himself.

"How long have you known you were pregnant Carly? Did you know at New Years? Or when you went to visit Molly in L.A. during the convention?" Jack used the hand gesture of air quotes when he mentioned the word convention. "Is that why you pushed me away? Because you already had the man you wanted in your life? _In your bed_?"

Carly didn't consider herself one to easily cry, the past couple of months not withstanding, but the seconds those words left his lips Carly could feel the hot tears sliding down her face. By her sides, her hands itched to slap his face as she had only done twice before in her life.

"Get out." She said, her voice dull even as she felt her heart breaking in half. "Get the hell out of this house."

"Why? Is what I'm saying too close to the truth for you, Carly?" Jack asked, his voice ragged as he felt like his own heart was being ripped out of his chest.

Deep inside, Jack knew he was hurting her and part of him wanted to die right then and there for doing it. But the other part, the part where he wanted to hurt her as badly as he was hurting, was unfortunately winning out.

"Okay, okay! Enough!" Lee said coming in from the kitchen with Molly quick on his heels. They had been unashamedly listening in and silently agreed with a look that they needed to step in before any more damage was done. "Take it easy, both of you. In fact, let's just take a moment and separate to neutral corners."

"You know what?" Jack said, his eyes shooting daggers at all three of them. "I think that's the best idea I've heard all night."

Jack placed his beer bottle on the coffee table and without saying another word stalked towards the back guest bedroom while also pulling out his cell phone. The rest of them stood in stunned silence until a little over five minutes later he returned, pulling his roller board suitcase and with his oversized duffle slung onto his shoulder.

"I think the most neutral place for me to be right now is back in Oakdale. I called a cab and I'm sure there's a flight to Chicago I can get on standby for." Jack said and they all stared at him in surprise.

"Jack, that's not necessary." Molly said, but he just shook his head vehemently.

"Oh trust me, Molly. The way I feel right now, it is _very_ necessary." Jack replied.

"What…what about the kids? What am I supposed to say to them about you just disappearing?" Carly asked, her hands shaking with anger.

"Oh, it's not so much fun when the shoe is on the other foot now is it?" Jack said and Carly's jaw clenched at the slighted reference to her leaving with Simon, but she said nothing. She wasn't about to add that old fight to the list right now and when he saw that she wasn't going to rise to the bait he shook his head.

"You don't have to tell them anything. I'll call Parker from the cab and say there was an emergency back at the department and they needed me. Lily's bringing the kids back with her on Monday so there's no reason for me to stay. I saw…all I needed to see." Jack said, the last part sliding out with absolutely no concealment of his anger.

A sudden weariness descended over Carly as she watched Jack shift his luggage again and she knew she didn't have the strength to keep trying to explain the reality behind this pregnancy. Instinctively she also knew that Jack was so caught up in his own misplaced anger and assumptions that he wouldn't truly listen to her now even if she screamed the truth of the baby's paternity at the top of her lungs.

"Let him go." She said softly, her voice somehow cutting through the tension in the room.

"What? Wait, Carly, are you sure you want…" Molly started to say, but Carly shook her head, her blue eyes focused on man by the front doorway.

"If he wants to go, let him go." Carly reiterated and Jack stilled, his brown eyes locking with her gaze. There was something about the way she was looking at him that made him want to stay and question her motives, but in the end the overwhelming load of information he had learned in the past few hours took control again. As a horn sounded outside, it seemed to release him from the staring contest that the two of them were in.

"Well, there's my ride." Jack said thumbing towards the door. He opened it and was halfway through when he glanced back over his shoulder. The look of disappointment and utter betrayal he gave them all contradicted his next words. "By the way, if I didn't say it already…congratulations."

The door shut behind him and even as the sound of the cab driving off faded into the night, the three adults that were left in the house stood completely still.

"Okay, what the hell just happened?" Molly said, the first one to break the silence, as she looked around at Lee and Carly in confusion. "Am I the only one who feels like they've been hit by a Mac truck?"

Lee shot her a look before turning to Carly. "Are you alright, Luv? Sit down and let me check your pulse."

At his words, Molly seemed to be pulled out of her momentary stupor and quickly made her way to Carly's side as Lee led her to the couch. It seemed now that Jack had gone the reality of the situation and what had just happened was starting to sink in for Carly.

"Oh sweetie, I'm sorry." Molly said, grabbing onto her cousin's hand and pressing a kiss her to knuckles. "It's going to be okay."

Her moment of clarity and maturity having come and gone with Jack's walking out the door, all that Carly was left with was an enormous sense of loss. She had imagined telling him about the baby in hundreds of different ways, some of them resulting in a fight but almost always ultimately ending with his arms wrapped around her as he told her how happy he was to get a second chance as a family. She couldn't have dreamt up tonight in her deepest and darkest nightmares.

"I don't think I've ever seen him like that before." Carly said, thinking back to their many fights in the past and coming up short. "It was like he just closed off to me completely. He wasn't even going to listen to what I had to say."

"You're pulse is a little high but nothing I'm too concerned with." Lee said and then closed his hand over hers. "Carly, you know he left here still thinking this was my baby, right?"

"I know. I'll…uh…I'll give him a couple days and then I'll tell him the truth." Carly said slowly. Maybe, just maybe, there was a way to salvage the mess that she had caused by not preparing for this better.

"No." Molly said and both Lee and Carly looked at each other in surprise before looking in her direction. Molly's bright blue eyes were completely focused as she shook her head and repeated her words. "No, I don't think you should."

"Molly, what are you talking about?" Carly said and Molly brushed a lock of Carly's blonde hair behind her ear.

"Listen to me, Cuz. The way Jack is feeling isn't going to go away in a 'couple of days'. He needs time to absorb this and then you can have a sane conversation. Maybe wait a couple of weeks and then you can tell him you got a paternity test done and it was all a mistake. That he is the father." Molly said, shrugging.

"No, I can't do that to him." Carly said, shaking her own head. "When I tell him the truth, it will be the whole truth."

"Okay, then so be it. But for now, you need to give him space. I love Jack, he's family to me. But right now, Carly, we both know that if you told him the truth about the baby being his before he's fully had time to adjust to there being a baby at all…I don't think he'd do the most rational thing." Molly said, trying to put her thoughts into as delicate as a phrase as possible.

It didn't seem to matter because the color drained from Carly's face as she caught on to Molly's meaning.

"You think he'd try and take this baby away from me?"

"I don't know, Sweetie. I don't think so, but…I just don't know." Molly said, trying to back pedal even if that was what exactly what she had meant.

"No." Carly whispered the word as she visibly trembled at the idea.

"Okay, okay. Let's just take this one day at a time." Lee said, feeling Carly's pulse jump and he turned a firm eye to Molly as he spoke. "Normally, Jack is a pretty rational guy but he has had a lot of things thrown at him today. Like Molly said, he just needs a little while to calm down. Then we can _all _sit down together and tell him the truth about him being a jackass and how he jumped to conclusions like a bloody kangaroo."

Carly's mind was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she could only offer a weak smile at Lee's lame attempt at a joke. The man sighed and leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to her temple.

"Look, Kiddo, you must be exhausted and I don't just mean physically. Not to mention you're in no mood to deal with a bunch of rowdy kids when they come home. Why don't you go to bed early and in the morning, everything won't look as bad." Lee said and Carly nodded.

"Yeah, okay. I'll see you guys in the morning." Carly said stiffly and after a quick kiss to Molly, she disappeared into her bedroom without another word. They all knew that with the emotional upheaval she had been through in the past few hours that Carly would be asleep before her head hit the pillow.

Lee and Molly sat in silence for a few moments before Lee jumped to his feet and started to pace, running a hand through his dark wavy brown hair.

"Maybe…maybe_ I_ should have a talk with Jack first, you know? Explain to him the truth about Carly's medical diagnosis and about how I helped talk her into coming out here. Maybe he'd blame me instead of her and then…" Lee trailed off, obviously not having thought anything through but rather just trying to make sense of it all.

"It's a nice thought, Lee, but I don't think Jack would actually listen to you _before_ he started throwing punches." Molly said, a small and sad half smile on her lips.

Lee looked back at her a moment before biting out a rather blush inducing curse and striding out to the back deck. Molly hesitated before following and upon seeing him leaning against the deck railing, silently walked over to stand next to him.

"This whole thing is bloody ridiculous! I can't stand to see what this is doing to her…and to the kids…or even to Jack! Hell, I don't even know the bugger that well but other than that short temper and stubborn streak, both of which I happen to have myself, I happen to think he's a really great guy!" Lee said, his annoyance at the situation apparent in his voice. It was in his posture as well for she could see his muscles clenching and unclenching as he leaned on his forearms on the railing.

Molly placed a soothing hand gently on his lower back, causing him to look at her.

"I know what you mean. I would give anything to turn back the clock and somehow convince her to tell him the day she found out she was pregnant. But she said she needed time and even though I thought she meant a week or two, everything seemed to move so quickly after that. Now, every day, I keep asking myself how in the world this situation could get any more complicated and then _wham_…it does."

Lee let out a soft ironic chuckle and turned to casually run his hands up and down her arms. Her blue eyes looked up into his face and roamed over his features, searching out and finding an unspoken question. As he soon as he saw the implied answer on her face, Lee wavered only a second before leaning down and brushing his lips across hers. Once, then twice, before settling in a third time for a longer kiss.

Molly sighed and wrapped her arms around his waist, allowing her body to be pulled closer to his as he enfolded his own arms around her. The kiss deepened until finally they broke apart, chests heaving and a deep flush across both sets of cheeks. She looked into his face again and then smiled before leaning her cheek against his firm chest, letting him sway back and forth lightly with her in his arms. This time is was Lee who sighed and his soft accented voice drifted over them and into the night air.

"I think…things just got more complicated."


	46. Sometimes You Just Need Your Mother

**Author's Note: Okay, so I know many of you are upset about how things are between our beloved duo, especially about Carly not telling Jack the truth, but when have they_ ever_ done anything the easy way? And as much as I get certain urging, this story is pretty much completely laid out so it's gonna go how it's gonna go. Just sit back and hang on for the ride! LOL**

**Anyways, this is one of my favorite chapters, probably because it invovles Sage (who I adore). I honestly love the relationship that Sage has with both her parents, often providing that reminder of that beautiful Montana bond that is the real Jack and Carly. Plus I like the fact that she gets to be a little girl on the show, but can still be more observant than most of the adults. So please enjoy as our favorite CarJack "production" once again takes the reins!  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

_Mother - that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries.  
__~T. DeWitt Talmage  
_************************************************************************

Placing the file down on the coffee table in front of him, Jack ran both hands over his face as he leaned back on the sofa. Who was he kidding? He might have read up to the third paragraph but he'd be damned if he understood anything it said.

Stretching he glanced at the clock and double blinked when he realized it was already quarter to midnight. He momentarily entertained thought of going upstairs to the bedroom but then immediately dismissed it, grabbing another file. Since he had been staying at Milltown with J.J. and Sage, most nights he was okay. But sometimes the memories of him and Carly threatened to overwhelm him.

Tonight was one of those nights.

It had been almost three weeks since the night back in L.A. where he had left Molly's house so abruptly. It had taken him a full week when he returned to calm down enough to manage a civil conversation with practically anyone and even now, people still tended to veer away from him if they saw him coming.

By far, the worst of it was the almost non-existent relationship between him and Carly. They barely spoke two words to each other if they didn't have to and even then they communicated through a third party like Molly, Lily, and even Emma had been dragged into it again. But of everyone who was feeling the tension, a lot of it unfortunately landed on the kids.

While Parker and J.J. had apologized and firmly agreed not to interfere in matters between their parents again, it was obvious that something was still weighing heavily on their minds. Yet, no matter what assurances Jack gave that he was not angry at them, neither boy was willing to let him in on what was bothering him.

It had been an even harder adjustment for Sage, who was so thrilled about a new sibling that she had constantly talked about the baby at first. It was only lately that she seemed to recognize the tension the subject brought with it around Jack and she had visibly toned down her excitement. It pained him to see that his children had to keep their feelings in check around him but he couldn't help the emotional tornado that swirled inside of him every time he thought of Carly and the new baby.

Shaking off the melancholy direction his thoughts were heading, Jack turned his attention back to his files. He was halfway through a page, jotting down an occasional note when he heard the second stair creak. Turning around, he peered over his shoulder and was startled to see Sage standing at the foot of the stairs, in her pajamas and with sleep tousled hair, staring back at him.

"Hey Princess, what are you doing up?" He asked softly. Sage shrugged as she stepped forward from the shadows thrown by the dim lamp. "Can't sleep?"

Again Sage just shrugged but followed it with a shake of her head, not saying a word. Jack patted the sofa and after a brief hesitation she padded over to settle herself down beside him. He wrapped an arm around her and smiled as she snuggled into his side.

"Did you have a bad dream?" Jack asked but Sage remained silent, biting her lip as she did.

Jack looked down into her small heart shaped face and sighed. "It's okay to tell me if you did. Everyone has bad dreams sometimes."

Sage began twisting something in her hands and his gaze lowered to see what it was. He frowned slightly as he recognized the cream colored silk scarf that Carly had worn with her pink business suit the day of the fashion show. He inhaled a little and felt his gut tighten when he detected the smell of her perfume still attached to the small piece of fabric.

"You know what's also okay?" Jack asked quietly. Sage looked up at him, her brow furrowing in a small questioning look.

"Missing your mom." Jack finished and Sage bowed her head, but not before Jack could see the light sheen of tears form in her hazel eyes.

"J.J. says I'm just being a big baby." Her voice was so quiet that Jack almost didn't hear her. He frowned as he thought of his normally very sensitive son saying something like that and knew that in all probability he was taking out his own frustrations on his little sister.

"Hmmm, but J.J. isn't the one who's going to be going away to summer camp in three weeks, is he?" Jack asked and Sage sighed, shaking her head.

"No, he'll be in California with Mommy." She said, the trace of bitterness in her voice causing Jack to look at her in surprise.

"Sage, you said you still wanted to go to summer camp this year. You know you could have gone out to be with Mom instead if you wanted to." Jack said and she frowned.

"No, I do. I _do_ want to go to camp it's just…" Sage trailed off and sighed deeply, wringing the poor scrap of silk so tightly that Jack thought she might tear it in two.

"It's just different when everybody is so spread out, huh?"

"Yeah," Sage nodded and then looked up at him, her small face scrunching up in concern. "And you'll be here all alone."

"Oh Baby, I'll be fine." Jack said, hugging her to him quickly and dropping a kiss on top of her hair. "I promise. Don't worry about me. In fact, all you need to worry about is making me that new paper weight for my desk you promised me. My old one is too light."

"Daddy, you're so weird sometimes." Sage said, rolling her eyes but when the gesture came with a smile, Jack just smiled back.

They were silent for a moment before Sage looked up at him again, her eyes bright and unassuming.

"Daddy, why are you so mad at Mommy because of the baby?"

Jack was taken aback by the question and tried not to show how much it threw him.

"No, Sage, I'm not…I'm not mad at her. I was…surprised when I found out, that's all, and I guess I haven't gotten used to the idea yet." Jack said and Sage furrowed her brow.

"Do you think Mommy going to marry Lee now?" She asked.

"I don't know, Honey. I honestly don't." Jack answered her.

"I still think she should marry you." Sage said firmly, wiggling into his side a little more, and Jack cleared his throat.

"Sage, your mom loves Lee. If that's who makes her happy then we need to support her no matter what." He said even though his stomach turned as he spoke.

Jack might have said the words aloud but he wasn't entirely sure he meant them. He also pretty sure that he hadn't meant what he said a moment ago when he told Sage he wasn't mad at Carly either.

"But I don't think Mommy loves Lee. Not like love in the movies and stuff. They never kiss or hold hands or anything like that." Sage said, still perplexed. Jack closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. If it was one thing he didn't want to do, it was picture Carly and Lee together in any capacity, but _especially_ not as lovers.

"It's…complicated, Sage. You'll understand when you're older." Jack finally said after he struggled to find an answer. He knew it was a copout and apparently so did Sage because she sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Daddy, I'm eleven, not stupid."

"Yeah, well," Jack said and poked his fingers into her ribs causing her to laugh and wiggle away from him. "You're not eleven for another two weeks, young lady. Let's not rush things, okay?"

"Okay, okay!" Sage giggled and Jack stopped tickling her, but the smile stayed on her face as she snuggled back against him again.

"So, Princess, you ready to go back to bed?" Jack asked and he immediately felt her stiffen and he watched the smile disappear off of her face. She shook her head fiercely, not bothering to hide the fact that her bed was the last place she wanted to go.

"Do you wanna tell me about your nightmare? It might help." He asked and hugged her gently. But she just shook her head again and a look of extreme anxiety crossed her face. Jack sighed and placed his cheek on top of her hair. "Sage, honey, why don't you try reading a chapter in your new book? Or I can sing to you, if you want?"

The child stayed silent at both suggestions and made absolutely no move to get up from the couch. He was about to give in and just let her stay on the couch with him until she dozed off when she shifted to look at him.

"Mommy always makes me hot chocolate when I have bad dreams. Then we tell each other really bad jokes to see whose is worst until I feel better." Sage finally said quietly. She twisted the scarf again and sighed. "I guess that's pretty stupid, right?"

"No, Sage, it's not stupid at all. Your mom…she has a special way of making things better huh?" Jack said, kissing the top of her head when she nodded before ducking her head again.

This time he felt her thin shoulders shudder as she tried to force the tears back. He stared down at his daughter for a long moment before nudging her with his hip.

"I tell you what. It's only a little after nine out in California. I bet your mom is still awake. Do you want to try and give her a call on the video phone?"

At the way Sage's eyes lit up, Jack knew he had made the right suggestion and he shooed her over to the desk by the door where the equipment was set up. Jack let Sage dial the number and after a few rings, the video screen was activated.

Molly's face and upper torso appeared on the 15"monitor with a pair of glasses perched on her nose and a pen sticking out of her mouth. She looked to be in the middle of writing at the desk where their video phone was set up. Her blue eyes widened at the sight of Sage and Jack on the other end.

"Hey guys. What's up?"

"Hey, Molly. Is Carly around? Someone here was really missing her." Jack said and Molly arched her eyebrow.

"You or Sage?" Molly quipped and Jack frowned, even as his daughter snickered. Molly rolled her eyes and winked at the Sage. "She actually just went into her room. Hold on one second, lemme go get her."

Molly disappeared from the screen and they could hear her calling to Carly, whose muffled voice answered back. A moment later Carly entered the background of the screen, dressed in a deep teal colored business suit with her hair pulled up by an elaborate yet tasteful clip. She pulled the clip from her hair and let the curls tumble past her shoulders as she settled into the chair that Molly had been in previously.

Her face registered a moment of surprise and wariness when she saw Jack standing beside Sage but she quickly regrouped and focused on her daughter.

"Hi, Baby! What in the world are you doing up so late?" Carly asked, her eyes sparkling. Even though she was worried, the delight at seeing her child was written all over her face.

"I wanted to talk to you." Sage said simply and Carly raised her eyebrow in a motion similarly to her cousin's a few minutes ago.

"At midnight? On a school night?"

Sage shifted in the chair and Jack placed his hand on her hair. "She had a bad dream."

Carly's eyes traveled over Sage's face and immediately noted how her daughter was no longer meeting her eyes.

"Sage," Carly's voice was in "mom-mode" and Sage winced. "Did you play that _Silent Hill_ game on J.J.'s Xbox again?"

Sage shifted on the chair again and she gave a tiny shrug. Carly let out a small sigh and met Jack's eyes. Even though a video connection the message exchanged was the same.

J.J. was in major trouble.

But first things were first and right now their daughter was having nightmares about mutilated bodies and other horrific images. And while she always tried to show she was as tough as her older brothers, in the end she was still a 10 year old little girl.

"Okay, kiddo. I know I'm not there but here's what we're gonna do. Your Daddy makes the best hot chocolate in the world after me, of course." Carly said and Sage's lip twitched in a smile. "While he's doing that you need to answer me a couple questions, okay?"

"Okay." Sage said, quietly.

"All right, first question." Carly said and leaned forward closer to the screen. "Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?"

Sage shrugged and Carly wiggled her eyebrows.

"Because they kept saying Bach, Bach, Bach!"

"Mommy that was so bad!" Sage said rolling her eyes but she was laughing anyway. Her eyes sparkled in the same way Carly's were as she too leaned forward. "What do you get when you cross a sheep and a bee?"

"I give up." Carly said, shrugging.

"A bahhhh-humbug!" Sage said, before giggling at her own joke. Carly groaned, but she laughed like Sage had earlier at her bad joke.

"Ugh, that's going to be hard to beat. Let me think." Carly said and her eyes casually looked over to Jack. He nodded at his dismissal cue and as he moved away towards the kitchen to get Sage's hot chocolate, he could hear the girl laugh at the response joke her mother had come up with.

Twenty minutes later, Jack was looking up from his spot back on the couch at the sound of a yawn. Sure enough, even as Sage struggled to get out her turn at a joke her eyes were dropping and flying open again.

"Why does a bike…have to stand on one leg?" She asked, pausing midway to yawn again.

"I have no idea." Carly said, smiling in satisfaction when Sage had to shake her head slightly to focus.

"Because it's two-tired." She finished and grinned when Carly let out another soft groan.

"Not that_ is_ impossible to beat. And very appropriate since I think you are more than ready to go to bed." Carly said and Sage frowned.

"But…" The little girl began to protest, but Carly held up a hand.

"Do you have the scarf I gave you?" When Sage held it up in her hands, Carly smiled. "Then I promise you won't have anymore bad dreams. Anyway, how can you with jokes about elephants sitting on clocks and roosters laying eggs in your head?"

Sage giggled and then sighed. She reached out to place her fingertips on the large monitor and whispered, "I really miss you."

"Oh, I miss you too, Sage. So much." Carly replied, bringing her own fingertips up to meet Sage's on the screen. "But I'll see you when Lee brings you and J.J. out for your birthday weekend. That's only a litte over a week away. Plus, I've kept my promise about calling you at least once a day, right?"

Sage nodded but still blinked rapidly, trying to withhold the tears that threatened to fall. The gesture made Carly's heart twist and she let out a sigh as she searched for a way to help her daughter even from two thousand miles away.

"I tell you what. How about you sleep in my bed tonight, okay? You just have to make sure you set the alarm for school." Carly said and Sage frowned.

"But I can't. Daddy sleeps there."

Carly's face registered new surprise that she quickly tried to hide when Jack finally made his way over to be in view again.

"It's okay, Honey. I'll be fine on the couch tonight. I still have a lot of work to do down here anyway." He said, tucking a strand of long brown hair behind Sage's ear when she looked up at him. "But _you_ need to get some sleep and I'm sure your mom does too."

"Okay." Sage said and turned her attention back to Carly. "Goodnight, Mommy. I love you."

"Goodnight, Sweetie. I love you too. Always and forever."

Sage waved and slipping out of the chair she headed for the stairs.

"Jack?" Carly called out and Jack bent down to meet her eyes through the monitor. "I'm sorry about the bedroom thing. I just assumed you were staying in the guestroom."

"No, it's fine. Um, will you wait a few minutes while I go tuck her in? I want to talk to you."

"Jack, it's getting late and…" Carly sighed, her eyes betraying her weariness and lack of ability to fight.

"I know but it'll only take a minute. Please?" Jack said and the small plea she heard behind his voice startled her.

"Sure, Jack." Carly nodded slowly and he returned the gesture before following Sage upstairs.

Putting the little girl to bed was much easier than he anticipated as she fell asleep practically as soon as her head hit the pillow. Clutching Carly's scarf to her tightly, Sage let out a soft sigh when Jack bent down to kiss her cheek.

When he made his way back downstairs, he paused on the last step to watch the image of Carly on the video phone screen. Her elbows were on the desk and she was leaning forward to press the heels of her palms to her eyes.

"Carly?" Jack called her name quietly as he sat down in the vacant desk chair. Her head shot up and she quickly brushed the tears off of her cheeks. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm fine. I just…" Carly said and took a deep breath. "sometimes this is _a lot_ harder than I thought it would be. I miss them both so much."

"They miss you too. But they understand about you having to be out there to do your collection and they are really proud of you. We all are." Jack said and Carly's eyes widened before she let out a shaky smile. That was the nicest thing he had said to her in almost a month. In fact, this was the most civilized conversation they had in the same amount of time.

"Thank you, Jack." She said, the sincerity in her voice causing Jack to shuffle his feet under the table uncomfortably.

"Then again, J.J. is probably going to wish he was already out there with you double time when I get through with him." Jack said, clearing his throat and changing topics. "Why he lets her play that game when he knows that it gives her nightmares, I just don't know. What was he thinking?"

"Oh don't be too hard on him until you get all the facts." Carly said, smiling softly, the first real one in weeks. "Call it mother's intuition but I have feeling that our 'little miss innocent' might have played that game without anyone's knowledge, least of all her older brother's."

"Yeah, that does sound like Sage." Jack chuckled. He watched as Carly shifted in the chair and frowned. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just a little tired. I only got home about a half hour before you called. I was in a buyers meeting." She replied, shifting again and reaching for a small pillow that was off screen to place behind her back.

"Pretty late meeting." Jack said, not being able to help the concern that washed over him as he took a closer look at her tired face. Even though he never came out and asked about the pregnancy, he knew that she was suffering from pre-eclampsia again from bits and pieces that he had overheard in other people's passing conversations.

Carly only gave a small smile and she shrugged.

"It comes with the fashion territory. Besides, it wasn't so bad. It was Mattie and the other interns I felt sorry for. I think they thought it was going to be a little more exciting instead of a cut and dry business meeting." Carly said and smiled. "But I'm proud of her and Parker. They are both working really hard at their internships. Molly's boss actually said that Parker was one of the best interns they've ever had."

Carly's face glowed with motherly pride and Jack had to hold back a chuckle, even though he was very proud of Parker as well.

"That's great. I'm glad he's seeing this as a job and not just a way to meet celebrities." Jack said and Carly nodded.

"Actually, Abigail and her boyfriend just took Mattie and Parker to the movies for some much needed R&R or else I would let you talk to him."

"No, it's cool. I spoke with him earlier today actually." Jack said shrugging.

"Oh, okay." Carly said quietly, her hand unconsciously resting on her rounded stomach in a movement natural to expectant mothers. Jack noticed it and cleared his throat again.

"How are you feeling? Is…is everything going well?" He asked and Carly looked stunned that he was even asking before blushing lightly.

"Um, yeah, it is. My blood pressure is maintaining good levels, for the most part, and the baby is healthy and growing every day."

"That's good. That's really good." Jack said and paused, not knowing how to broach the next part of his curiosity. "Um, Parker told me that you finally found out whether it's a boy or girl."

"You talked to Parker about the baby?" Carly couldn't help asking but when she saw Jack's frown she immediately spoke again, trying to sooth over the awkward moment. "Uh, yeah, I did. She was turned in the right position for Dr. Meyers to be pretty definitive."

Carly stopped short, realizing her slip of the tongue, and looked into Jack's face with wide blue eyes. He stared back at her a moment before finally being able to speak again.

"It's...a girl?"

Carly bit her lip and then letting out a soft sigh, she nodded. "Yeah, it's a girl."

Jack's mind spun and he felt dizzy as a distant memory rushed forward from a time when he and Carly had discussed having more children. In fact, he could hear his own preference for gender echo in his mind as if they were still wrapped in each other's arms by Snyder Pond.

_Little girls, just like their mommy; blonde curls, bad tempers._

"Lee must be thrilled." Jack somehow managed to get out, without sounding as if a piece of his own heart had just been stripped away.

"Lee?" Carly repeated then seemed to shake herself. "Oh, well, he doesn't know. I mean, no one but me knows yet. Except you."

Jack didn't have a response to that and Carly could see he was struggling with maintaining a calm exterior so she pressed forward, forcing a cheerful note into her voice.

"I think I'll wait to tell the kids until Sage's birthday weekend. I think it'll be a good present for everyone."

Again, Jack said nothing and when she didn't either, they fell into a silence. Finally neither one could apparently take it any longer and they spoke up at the same time.

"Jack, it…"

"Carly, I…"

They paused and both let out small chuckles.

"Let me go first, okay?" Jack said and Carly nodded her agreement. "I just...I wanted to apologize for the way things ended when I left LA."

"Jack…" Carly started to interrupt but he shook his head.

"No, please, let me finish." Jack said, causing her to close her mouth and allow him to continue. "I was upset and I didn't mean half of the things I said. You are an amazing mother and any child would be proud to have you in their life. And that goes double for any guy who is lucky enough to be with you."

"Thank you." Carly said softly.

"I hate the way things were between us this past few weeks and I know a lot of that rests on me. And while I can't change the way I acted then, I can change how I act now. I don't want this new situation with you and Lee to change the way _we_ are, especially when it comes to the kids. We...we were at a pretty good place after everything that has happened in the past couple of years. The kids deserve to not have us go backwards and the…the baby….doesn't deserve to grow up feeling any different than her siblings." Jack tried to explain the way he was feeling the best he could. "I mean, I guess if things had worked out last fall between me and Janet, the situation might have very easily been reversed. I somehow doubt that you would have reacted as badly as I did."

Jack was so caught up with his apology that he didn't even notice the way Carly's face drained of color at the thought of him having a baby with Janet or the protective gesture of wrapping both arms around her stomach. She could feel her blood pressure start to rise and knew that she had to stop him before she had an attack.

"Jack, please." Carly said and he paused, looking back into her face. She gathered her wits about her and managed a small smile. "It's okay. I should have told you about the baby before. I should have told you a lot of things before."

Jack frowned, sensing immediately that there was more to that statement than he knew. However before he could say anything, she glanced at her watch making him glance down at his own. Seeing the time he winced.

"Wow, it's _really_ late. I'm sorry, you should get some sleep." Jack told her and she couldn't help but let out a small laugh.

"Shouldn't I be saying that to you? It's nearly one in the morning over there."

"Nah, you know me. I'm a night…owl." Jack said but, like Sage had done earlier, he yawned mid-sentence causing Carly to laugh again.

"Get some sleep, G-man." She said and froze when she realized the nickname that had slipped out. Jack gave her a small sad smile wanting to let her know it was okay, even though they both knew that it wasn't.

"You too. Tell Parker I'll call him tomorrow."

"I will."

Jack hesitated but then added, "Hey, Carly?"

She paused in her motion to hit the disconnect button and stared at him. "Yeah?"

"Congratulations on your little girl. I already know she's going to be as beautiful as her mom." Jack said, meaning every word.

Carly could feel the tears welling up in her eyes and she knew she had to end the call before she completely broke down.

"Thank you, Jack." She said and he nodded.

They exchanged goodnights and before he could blink the video monitor went black. He stared at the screen and after a moment, he made his way back to the sofa and his files. Rubbing his hands over his face, he leaned his head back against the couch, ironically ending up in the same position he had started out in a couple of hours ago.

He closed his eyes to let his thoughts drift away and for one shining moment he allowed himself to imagine that he was the one who was going to be standing by her side when they handed Carly that precious pink bundle.


	47. We're Young But We Should Be Together

**Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to a very special group of women. Thank you to Dawn, Mika, Michelle, Caroline, Elle and especially, Lauren (aka my lifeline); you guys made the day of the luncheon 1000 times more amazing than it already was. You're all wonderful and I adore each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart.**

**This chapter is a little short but I hope you like it anyways :) As always...say it with me now...ENJOY!****  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

_Life is so short, so fast the lone hours fly, we ought to be together, you and I.  
~Henry Alford  
_************************************************************************

It was one of those very rare times that both Parker and Mattie had their days off together and since they were used to getting up early anyway they decided to take a morning walk along the shore before getting breakfast at a diner on the pier. Making as little noise as possible they headed out after leaving a note for Molly and Carly to let them know where they were going.

The beach was relatively empty, at least by Santa Monica standards in the summer time. Then again, at barely 7:15 in the morning on a Wednesday it wasn't wholly unexpected either.

They silently strolled along the surf, the light breeze causing them both to huddle into their summer weight sweatshirts until the sun warmed the day up a little more. Every now and then, one or the other would point out a lone surfer or a person on the beach of particular interest, but for the most part it was just them walking in a companionable silence.

They were about at the halfway point along the beach that corresponded to where the diner was on the pier when Mattie spoke up.

"You excited to see J.J. and Sage this weekend?" Mattie asked, looking over at him. Parker shrugged and squinted in the early morning sunlight.

"Yeah, I guess. It's gonna be weird having J.J. stay but send Sage back home."

"I'm sure. But you know she'll have a much better time at camp than she would have here with everyone working and J.J. helping Brayden out at the surf camp." Mattie said sympathetically.

"I know, but it's still weird." Parker replied, shrugging again.

"What did you get her for her birthday?" Mattie asked, stopping a second to bend down and peel a piece of seaweed off of her calf. Parker immediately reached out to steady her and she gave him a wide smile of thanks before they started walking again.

"Oh, I got her an iTunes gift card." Parker said casually. In fact, he said it a little _too_ casually.

"Uh-huh, what else?" Mattie asked stopping again and quirking an eyebrow at his overly innocent face.

"I have no clue what you're talking about." Parker said, glancing at her as he stopped too then looked away again as he tried to hide a smile.

"Yank, I know that look." Mattie said pointing a finger so that it almost touched his noise. He playfully nipped at her finger and she gave a small yelp, pulling it back quickly and mock glaring at him. "Confess!"

Parker rolled his eyes but grinned.

"I _might_ have gotten her a few things from that store 'Smacked', over on Holworth, to take to home with her for the practical joke war at camp." He said and laughed when Mattie rolled her own eyes.

"You Americans are too weird."

"Hey, don't knock it! It's camp tradition." Parker laughed again. "The team that J.J. and I were on two summers ago won, and then J.J.'s team won last year. Sage has to carry on the Snyder family name in victory!"

Mattie let out a laugh too and nudged him with her shoulder. He fake stumbled a couple of steps before coming back to swing his arm over her shoulder. They walked a few seconds more before Mattie tossed him a hesitant look.

"Speaking of carrying on the Snyder name, how do you think your mom is really doing? Not that stupid smile act she's had for the past few weeks."

She felt Parker become rigid beside her but after letting out a long sigh she felt the arm along her shoulder relax again with the rest of his body.

"Okay, I think. I mean, it's definitely better since she and my dad talked last week. Not anywhere near where it could be, but at least they're not avoiding each other like the plague anymore."

"Do you think she'll tell him about being the baby's father soon?" Mattie asked, frowning slightly. "Now that he's had enough time to calm down from the shock like Molly suggested?"

"I don't know. Maybe." Parker said, frowning a bit too. "Of course, it's not that easy when Lee comes out every weekend now."

This time it was Mattie who stiffened and she shrugged off Parker's arm.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mattie asked, turning to glare at him. "Uncle Lee has done nothing but try and help this entire time. Besides, I _like_ when he visits. You have your mom, Molly, and soon J.J. will be out here too. Then you have your dad, Sage, and the rest of your family back home. But in case you forgot, Uncle Lee is all _I_ have!"

"Hey, Oz, hold on a second would you?" Parker said holding his hands up in shock at her sudden attack. "That's so not what I meant!"

Mattie's green eyes glittered in indignation and he tentatively reached out to take one of her hands in his.

"I just meant that every time he comes out here it just adds on more and more to the act about him being the baby's dad." Parker said, not sure he was phrasing it exactly right but hoping his meaning got across. "I like Lee, a lot, you know that. It's actually pretty cool that he and Molly are dating. It's been a long time since she's been this happy."

Parker thought back to the only other man who had made Molly smile the way Lee did now. Everyone probably thought that Parker had been too little to remember Jake McKinnon but he had very vivid and fond memories of the giant teddy bear of a man that his mom's cousin had married.

A lot of them came from the time when his mom had been held captive by that crazy Dr. Weston. Of course, back then, Parker hadn't known what was going; he just knew that his mom was gone and all the grownups seemed to be worried all the time. To make him feel better, whenever he had seen him, Jake had greeted young Parker with a toss high in the air that always made the little boy laugh. Parker had never feared that he wouldn't catch him, despite not really having known Jake a long time before he became family. Parker remembered because there were only two other men in his life that had ever made him feel that safe before and both of them had the title of "Dad". And so, even at his young age, he had known that when they lost Jake they had all lost a man who was truly one in a million.

Mattie had noticed the brief flash of sorrow that crossed Parker's face and despite her annoyance with him she still squeezed his hand in reassurance. He seemed to refocus on her and gave a small sad smile.

"Sorry, it's just…I know it's a really old cliché but sometimes I wonder why bad things really do happen to good people."

Mattie gave him a small soft smile of her own and shrugged. Thinking back to her own past, the one she didn't like to talk about, she sighed sadly. "I don't know, Yank. I've been asking myself that for a long time now."

Parker looked at her closely and pulled her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her nose into his chest, squeezing her eyes tightly as she forced unwanted memories away.

"You know, you were wrong before." Parker's voice reached her ears and she pulled away from him slightly to look up into his face. "Lee isn't the only one you have."

He paused and then, his decision made, Parker leaned down and lightly pressed his lips to hers. Lifting his head again, his brown eyes searched her face and watched as she nibbled on her lower lip.

_Oh my god, what did I just do?_ He thought, panic suddenly filling him. Had he just ruined the best friendship he had ever had? What did he say? Did he apologize and laugh it off?

He knew he had to say something and he was just about to just blurt out anything that came to mind when Mattie elevated onto her tiptoes and kissed him again, this time moving her arms to wrap around his neck. After a moment she pulled away and settled back down.

"What took you so long?" Mattie asked and Parker just stood there, his jaw hanging open in shock. A giggle bubbled up in her throat and then she let out a full blown laugh. "Yank, you look like an idiot standing there with your mouth open like that."

Parker finally seemed to come back to his senses and finding his voice, he grinned at her mischievously. "Oh, yeah?"

Feeling braver than she probably should have, Mattie stuck out her chin and smirked. "Yeah!"

Parker's eyes narrowed impishly and her own widened as she let out a small shriek before running with Parker close on her heels. She didn't get far before he caught her around the waist and swung her around in a circle. Mattie long hair flew out behind her and she laughingly clung to Parker's shoulders.

"Okay, okay, stop! I'm gonna be sick!" She cried and Parker slowed to a stop, catching his breath as he allowed her to slide down to touch the sand again.

Parker grinned down at her and rolled his eyes.

"Wuss."

"Bully."

But Mattie smirked as she said it and ran her sparkling green eyes over his face before leaning in and kissing him again gently.

On a bench up on the boardwalk that ran parallel to the beach, an old couple sat drinking their coffee in their own early morning routine. The old woman nudged her companion and pointed at the beach.

"Aww, look at those two kids. Remember when we were like that, James?"

James rubbed the spot where his wife's elbow had connected with his ribs and grumbled about her almost spilling his coffee. Casting a glance out to the two kissing teens, he grunted.

"Nope."

Juliet Simms looked over at her husband and glared. He might have been approaching 80 but she knew that his mind was like a steel trap and he remembered everything.

"Oh, you do too and you know it."

James looked at the kids again, who were now walking hand in hand to go closer to the water's edge. Then looking at his wife he shook his head.

"Nope."

Juliet just made a noise in her throat and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Grump."

"Nag."

James saw the twitch of a smile on her mouth from the corner of his eye and with his eyes twinkling he placed an arm around her. After a moment, she leaned into him and he pressed a kiss to her silver hair. Together they watched the two young kids that reminded them both of themselves over 60 years ago, chase each other a few moments more along the surf before heading back up the sand and towards the boardwalk.


	48. Some Men Deceive To Protect Their Secret

**Author's Note: Hey guys. Okay, so here's the deal. With the way things are going on the show and the lack of reviews for the story, I am feeling pretty unmotivated to post any new chapters after this one. Now, I don't normally do this (in fact I try_ not_ to do this as much as possible) but I could really use your support. If you are still reading this, please leave a review. It can be just a few words and you don't have to praise the story to the heavens...even though that'd be nice (just kidding LOL). But either way, I'd really like to know that the story is still worth posting. Thank you so much!**

**To my most loyal reviewer, Allie, you make my heart smile. Thank you for every single review; you have no idea what it's meant to me.**

**And with all that mushy stuff over with...please enjoy the next chapter!  
~JP  
**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_While all deception requires secrecy, all secrecy is not meant to deceive."  
__~Sissela Bok  
_************************************************************************

It had been another long day for poor Detective Jack Snyder and it had all started that morning as soon as he opened his eyes.

During the night the power must have momentarily turned off because when he had woken up the alarm clock had been blinking a steady 12:00 even as his watch said it was already quarter to nine. In the fifteen minutes that he had to get dressed and get ready to start his shift at the precinct, he found out that the water heater had also somehow malfunctioned and there was absolutely no hot water in the entire house.

Running into the station ten minutes late, he had found Margo tapping her foot at his desk with her arms crossed. The D.A's office had been on her back for the past couple weeks about needing certain backlogged files, which meant it had trickled down into the department. She had immediately confined him to his desk for the day, barring an all out emergency, to get to work on his own portion of the paperwork.

The only reprieve he had came when he had met up with Brad and Holden for lunch at Yo's. At least, it was _supposed_ to be a reprieve. Yet, somehow, it had only ended up in another argument about the situation with Carly and how Jack was still "pining" for her. When he had finally left, claiming he had to get back to work, the lunch conversation had put him in a bad mood and had him back to practically growling at people for the rest of the day. He was just grateful that since J.J. was now in L.A. with Carly and Sage had gone away to camp last weekend, he wasn't going to subject them to his mood when he went home.

Seeing the proverbial light at the end of the paperwork tunnel, Jack was almost in a better mood by the end of the day. That is, until J.J. had called around four-thirty and explained that he had somehow "accidently" left his pile of summer reading books in his room. It wouldn't normally be such a big deal but they were for his upcoming advanced placement English class in the fall and he had to do a three page essay on each one and then submit it in email to the teacher over the course of the summer. The first one, of course, was due next week.

J.J. begged Jack to take them over to Lee's house so that the good doctor could bring them along when he made his weekend trip to out to Los Angeles. After a small lecture on the irresponsibility of leaving them in the first place, Jack had agreed to do as he was asked. He managed to talk Margo into letting him run home and grab them if he stayed an extra hour past his shift to finish his paper work.

That extra hour had somehow stretched into a little over two hours and he was now finally free of the chains of his desk. And yet, he still sat in his chair staring at the small pile of books on his desk like they were going to open up and bite him. Even though he and Carly were getting along better, he was still avoiding Lee at all costs. The jealously he felt every time he looked at the man threatened to overwhelm his rational sense and so he just preferred to steer clear of him instead of possibly being arrested by fellow officers on assault charges.

With a long sigh, Jack reached out and grabbed the books.

"Might as well get it over with." He muttered. Turning off his desk lamp he greeted the officers coming in for the night shift before making his exit and heading to his car.

Meanwhile over at Lee's house, he had just gotten home from working a double shift. Since Mattie had been away, he worked almost 18 hour to 20 hour shifts during the week. But he didn't really mind it since the shifts allowed him to be able to take most of the weekends off to fly out to L.A. to see everyone. Now that he and Molly were dating, he was happier then ever when early Friday evening rolled around and he found himself on that westbound plane.

"Two more days. Just two more days." Lee said to himself as he bypassed the entire downstairs to head up to the bedroom, tugging his tie off as he walked. He had grabbed a bite in the hospital cafeteria before heading home and now all he wanted to do was shower then crash into his bed to grab a few hours of sleep before starting his next shift at the hospital.

A shuffling noise caused Lee to stop in his tracks just outside his bedroom door and glance down the hall towards the sound. It seemed to have come from Mattie's bedroom and Lee slowly moved in that direction. Upon reaching the open door, Lee peered in and seeing a shadow move across the bedroom window, he went to turn on the light. But before he could flip the switch, he found himself being tackled and driven backwards towards the full sized bed along the right wall.

Despite the shock of the attack, Lee's instincts kicked in and he raised his arms to slam his elbows back down into his attacker's shoulder blades. From the strength of the attack and the tight hold on his body, Lee knew without a doubt it was a man. When Lee's elbows hit the muscled area around the upper spine, the attacker let go of Lee with a loud groan. But he quickly seemed to regroup himself and standing upright, he swung at Lee. Even in the dark, the man's aim was good and the fist landed square on Lee's jaw. He momentarily saw stars but focused again and sent a sucker punch towards the attacker's midsection. It connected with a surprisingly good amount of force and Lee heard the other man drop to the floor with a retching noise as the wind was knocked out of him.

Lee groped in the darkness of the room and finally catching the back of the man's shirt, grabbed the intruder and hauled him to his feet. Managing somehow to shuffle across the floor and slap the room light on, Lee's eye widened and then narrowed again in pure rage.

"You!" He growled and slammed the other man into the wall by the open door. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?"

"You know exactly why I am here!" The man yelled back and struggled violently to break Lee's hold. "You are going to pay for what you did and I'm going to get back what is rightfully mine!"

"Like hell you are!" Lee said and went to go place the man in a strangle hold. However his opponent saw the opportunity he had been waiting for and with a swift movement had jabbed his elbow into Lee's ribcage.

Lee's grip weakened only slightly but it was enough for the other man to break free and send Lee backwards with a knee to his sternum. As Lee stood straight again, trying to catch his breath, he stopped at the sight of a gun muzzle staring back at him.

"I'm only going to ask you one time, Liam, so pay attention. _Where…is…she_?"

Lee felt panic rise in his throat and tried to find a way to get out of the situation before it was too late. The soft click of a bullet entering the chamber of a gun caused Lee to close his eyes in anticipation of the shot. He sent up a small prayer as the images of the people he loved most in the world flashed through his head.

But a second later Lee realized no shot had been fired and he was still alive. Cautiously opening his eyes, he blinked in surprise when he saw that the attacker was standing as still as he was with his own eyes widened in fear.

"I suggest you lower your gun before I lower it for you."

Jack's voice was soft but his tone was as deadly as the weapon he had aimed at the back of the intruder's head.

Lee glanced at Jack, whose eyes flickered towards him a moment before focusing completely on the other armed man.

"As an officer of the Oakdale police force I can assure you that I have the authority to use this gun if I feel it's in the line of duty and believe me, I will if you give me a reason. Like, you twitch the wrong way." Jack spoke again, slowly and firmly. "Now, put your weapon _down_."

The man hesitated but then slowly placed his gun on the floor. When Jack told him to kick it forward, the man did so but again with a hesitation. Jack nodded for Lee to relax and putting his own service weapon away, he quickly started handcuffing the man in front of him.

"Okay, pal, who the hell are you?" Jack asked, roughly turning the now handcuffed man around to face him.

"Ask him!" The guy said, indicating his head towards Lee.

At the familiar sound of another Australian accent Jack looked over at Lee for an explanation. But other than a tick at his temple, clenched teeth, and a glare on his face, Lee gave nothing away.

"Look, cop, I don't know who you are but you _should_ be arresting him!" The struggling man said, again nodding in Lee's direction.

Jack frowned and shook his head in confusion. "And why would I do that?"

The man glared as harshly at Lee as he was back at him before spitting towards the ground at Lee's feet.

"Because that's the man who stole my daughter."


	49. Reality Often Interrupts Happy Illusions

**Author's Note: Wow! I think I might start threatening to not post new chapters more often! Just kidding :) But seriously, thank you so much to everyone who stepped up and reviewed. I can't explain how amazing that made me feel. I'm particularly proud of this story and I just want to make sure that everyone is still enjoying reading it as much as I am writing it. Now, don't let this nice little thank you fool you...I still need reviews. LOL The more I get, the faster I am motivated to post...it's a win-win situation!**

**Anyways, there is a lot of explanation dialouge in this chapter and I'm sorry for it, but it is completely necessary to set up the next couple ones. But don't worry cause there's some nice CarJack interaction coming up. So get ready! But for now...just like always...enjoy!!  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Happiness is just an illusion caused by the temporary absence of reality."  
__~Unknown  
_************************************************************************

Standing on the front step, Jack looked over at the man standing next to him. Lee shifted nervously from one foot to the other, his hand hovering by the door bell. Every couple of seconds he would go as if to push it and then pull it back to hover again. Finally after about five minutes of this Jack sighed and when Lee's finger got close to the button again, he reached out and forcibly made the two connect.

As the quick musical chime sounded throughout the house, Lee looked at Jack.

"Thanks, mate."

Jack didn't say anything, just shrugged, but to his surprise he found himself fighting back a smile.

Footsteps were heard heading in their direction and they heard Carly's voice laughingly call out, "I don't know who it is! Can you let me open the damn door first?"

Pulling it open, the grin on her face wavered as she took in the two men standing in front of her.

"J…Jack? Le…Lee?" She stuttered, her blue eyes wide in shock. "What…what are you doing here?"

Then her face paled and she stepped forward, reaching out to grab Jack's forearm.

"Oh my God, Sage? Is Sage okay?"

"Oh no, Carly, relax." Jack said, reaching out to steady her. His concern at what her sudden panic might do to her blood pressure replaced whatever other feelings he was having at seeing her in person again after almost 6 weeks. He placed his own hands at her elbows and letting Lee close the door behind them, led her to the couch. "Sage is fine. She's still at camp and having a great time running around like a crazy person with all of her friends."

Carly took a deep breath, the relief causing her shoulders to sag. Jack looked at Lee, who had moved to check Carly's pulse.

"A glass of ice water might…" Lee started to say but barely got the first few words out before Jack quickly headed into the kitchen to get it for her.

"You know, I think he might be worried about you." Lee said and looked up into her face. His eyes twinkled as he released Carly's wrist, having deemed her pulse satisfactory.

Carly didn't acknowledge his statement, despite the warm fuzzy feeling the words gave her inside. Instead she just frowned and shook her head.

"Lee, what is…?" Carly began but the sound of footsteps from the bedroom area cut her off.

"Well, well, if it isn't that gorgeous doctor again. Couldn't stay away huh?" Molly teased as she walked into the room and straight into Lee's arms. Despite the horrible news he brought with him, a smile had broken out onto his face as soon as he saw her.

"Hey, Luv."

"Hey, yourself. I missed…" Molly started to say but a sudden movement from the kitchen area stopped her cold. Looking in that direction she spotted Jack standing there with a glass of water and a very confused look on his face. Dropping her arms from around Lee's waist, she instinctively took a step backwards. "Jack? Um...hi."

"Hi yourself." Jack said, darting a look between Lee and Molly, then Lee and Carly, before stepping forward to present the latter with the glass of ice water.

"Uh, what are you doing here?" Molly asked and Jack sighed, choosing to sit down in a plush armchair across from the sofa.

"Now that both of you have asked that question, I think it'd be best if you sat down when we answered it."

Carly scooted over on the sofa so Lee could sit down and Molly sat on his other side. The two men exchanged a look which Carly immediately caught and arching her eyebrow, she frowned.

"Okay, obviously _something_ is going on."

"Where's Mattie? I need to talk to Mattie." Lee said abruptly.

At his suddenly anxious demeanor, Carly and Molly exchanged their own look.

"Um, both Parker and Mattie got out of work around noon today so they went to go hang out with Brayden and J.J. at the surf camp." Molly answered.

Carly glanced at the clock on the wall and added, "They should actually be back pretty soon. The camp ends at four so maybe another half hour."

"Oh, God, so soon?" Lee said, running a hand through his thick brown hair.

"Lee, what is going on? And Jack, if this has to do with Mattie, why are you here?" Molly asked, her confusion only growing along with her impatience.

"You might as well start it." Lee said, looking at Jack and shrugging.

Jack nodded and folded his hands as he leaned forward as if preparing to give a statement.

"Last night I went to Lee's house to give him the set of summer reading books that J.J. had forgotten. When I got there I heard a loud crash from inside and when I knocked no one answered. I knocked again but then I heard another crash and kicked the front door in. I headed upstairs to where the noises were coming from and I found a man pointing a gun at Lee. I had just come off duty so I had my service piece on me and my handcuffs. I was able to disarm him and as I was arresting him, I found out who he is. His name is Christopher Turner and he was looking for Mattie."

"Looking for Mattie?" Molly said, shaking her head. "But why?"

"Chris Turner…Turner. Why do I know that name?" Carly said to herself softly and Lee let out a sigh.

"Because I've told it to you before. He's Mattie's biological father."

Carly thought back a moment and then her eyes grew wide. "Oh no. Not him."

"What? What's going on?" Molly asked, hearing the horror in her cousin's voice. Getting no answer from either of them, she turned to the other man in the room. "Jack?"

"I don't know, Molly. I only got bits and pieces of the story last night." Jack said and looked at Lee. "Maybe now is as good a time as any to fill us in."

Lee met Jack's look and then Molly's concerned gaze, before closing his eyes and nodding, resigned to telling the tale.

"My sister, Lisa, was barely 17 when she met Chris Turner. He was her first real boyfriend and as it normally happens, she thought they were going to live happily ever after. When she got pregnant with Mattie, my dad was so angry that he gave her a choice. Either Turner or us. Again, being 17, she chose him and my dad kicked her out of the house. By the time he calmed down enough to realize what he had done, it was too late. Lisa had seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth. No matter how hard we looked, we couldn't find her. I even put off my first year of medical school to search for her, but no luck. Then one day, almost two years later, she showed up at the house with Mattie in her arms. But she also had a black eye, three broken ribs, and a fractured jaw."

Even now, Lee's jaw muscle ticked as he remembered the shock of seeing his baby sister battered and bruised.

"It turns out that Turner had beaten Lisa regularly, even when she was pregnant. It was only when he had turned that anger on the baby…he had slapped Mattie for crying too loudly…that she walked out on him. She told us that she alone had made her choice when she left with Chris but no one was going to hurt her child."

"My dad took her back in immediately and then Chris had the nerve to show up on our doorstep a few months after she left him, demanding to see Mattie. It was just a coincidence that I was home from medical school at the time but I guess when I saw him I kind of dropped my bundle, as we say back home. I don't know how we ended up on the front lawn, but I do remember that it took both my dad and my uncle Ryan to pull me off of him. The only reason I didn't I kill him that day was because Lisa stood there, holding onto my arms, pleading with me to stop. But it wasn't for his sake that she stopped me. She told me to think about what would happen if I hurt my hands; of all the people's lives I wouldn't be able to save as a doctor."

Lee paused, looking up at the ceiling and taking a deep breath as he blinked back tears. He and his baby sister had always been close, despite the almost seven year age difference. Their mother had died when Lisa was two and Lee had taken over most of her care while his dad tended the sheep and worked the hobby farm they owned. Yet, somehow, when Lisa hit her teens she had taken over the role of his caretaker, pushing him harder than even their father to study more when she learned he wanted to be a doctor. And during that fight with Turner, when it had to be one of the darkest periods of her young life, she had still been more concerned for her big brother than what might happen to her.

For our part, the night she had come home with Mattie, we took her to the hospital and police station to document the abuse. So even though Turner threatened to file assault charges against me he knew that the law would back my family over him any day, especially in our small outback town. So he just disappeared and although we waited for a long time but he never came back. It wasn't more than six months later that Lisa met Charlie."

This time, as Lee said the name a soft smile of fondness spread across his face that hadn't been there before.

"A flying officer in the Royal Australian Air Force, Charlie Williams literally flew into my sister's life when she worked in his air force base's secretarial pool. He treated her like a queen but, more importantly, at just 22 years old he took to Mattie like he had been put on this earth to be her father. I think they had only been dating a few months when Mattie started calling him 'daddy'. The pride and joy in his face when he talked about her…I never saw anything like it; the way he just didn't seem to care that she wasn't biologically his."

"I know the type." Carly said softly and her eyes went to Jack. She had been fortunate enough to fall in love with exactly the same sort of man and thanked God everyday that her kids knew that they had a father who loved them, biologically related to him or not. Jack caught her eye and then a slow deep blush crept up his cheeks.

"About a year after they were married, our dad passed away and left the house to Charlie and Lisa. That thrilled the hell out of me because that meant they would be able to afford to stick around and not live in military housing. I had gotten pretty attached to having my sister and my niece around by that point and my brother-in-law had quickly become my best friend. When Mattie was five, Charlie encouraged Lisa to go back to school and get her degree in business like she always wanted. Since he only had a little over six years left in the service, they worked towards opening their own charter business. The same weekend he was honorably discharged was the same weekend they opened shop. Within a year, their business was booming and they were one of the most well known airplane chartering services around. And then…"

Lee trailed off, taking another deep breath and forcing himself to go on.

"It was the week before Mattie's twelfth birthday and Charlie had one supply run planned. Then he and Lisa were going to surprise her with a weekend trip to the Gold Coast. But there was a last minute storm and they lost contact with him about an hour into the flight. By the time they found the wreckage of the plane, it was basically unrecognizable. They only managed to identify Charlie by his wedding band and dental records."

Even though Carly reached out a sympathetic hand to place on Lee's shoulder, it was Molly who entwined her fingers with his and pressed a soft kiss to his temple. Jack's eyes widened at the gesture, but he didn't have time to try to analyze what it meant before Lee started again.

"Mattie was devastated, of course, but Lisa…she just fell apart. No matter what anyone did, including Mattie, it didn't seem to make a difference. Instead, she just seemed to completely shut down. She gave up on the business, sold it outright for a lot less money than it was worth. A few months later she was already involved with a new guy and his group of friends, staying out all hours drinking until she would forget where she lived. I closed my own private practice to join the local hospital so I could move into the house to be with Mattie. And while I tried to help Lisa the best way I knew how, nothing was getting through. It was eight months after Charlie's death that Lisa hit rock bottom."

"I got the call from the police at about 2AM and leaving Mattie with a neighbor, I rushed down to the station. There had been a hit and run fatality and they said Lisa had been driving. When I talked to her she swore up and down that even though she had been drinking it was her boyfriend Luke who had been the one driving. Yet when the police arrived on scene, Luke was nowhere to be found and she was sitting in the driver's seat. While there was evidence to suggest the fact that she was telling the truth, like footprints around the scene that fit Luke's shoe size and the fact that the seat and mirrors were adjusted for someone much taller than her, the judge only saw her recent behavior and threw the book at her. She received 20 years for vehicular manslaughter with no possibility of early parole. Through a lot of hard work we finally were able to plead down to 10 years but still no possibility of parole. Thankfully I was awarded guardianship of Mattie before the courts had time to think about putting her into the foster care system."

"Did you ever try to find this Luke guy?" Molly asked gently and Lee nodded.

"Of course I did, but it was like the bloke never existed! I had a really good lead once from a private investigator but by the time we got to the location he had already moved on. I would have kept looking but then Mattie started having problems in school, both behaviorally and academically. I knew then that I had to put her first. So I packed up, sold the house, and moved us to Sydney."

"How'd she take it?" Carly was the one who spoke up now and Lee shrugged.

"It was hard at first. She was so angry at everyone, but eventually I got her to talk to a friend of mine who specialized in teen psychology. Then when the job opportunity came up in Oakdale, we agreed that it was the right move for us. It would be a fresh start in a place where no one knew what had happened before. Where Mattie could just enjoy being a teenager again. And it worked! She is so happy now. I haven't seen her like this since her dad…since Charlie…was alive. And now this jackass wants to rip it all away from her! How can I let him do that to her?"

There was silence following his question and he hung his head, roughing wiping his eyes with the backs of his fists. Again Molly pressed her lips to his hair while Carly gently rubbed his back and Jack looked down at his own clenched hands.

While he couldn't count Lee as one of his favorite people in the world, Jack wouldn't wish what he was going through on anyone. He knew all too well what it was like to have someone come in and try to take his children away. So as a father, which was basically what Lee had been to Mattie for these past few years, he sympathized.

"Uncle Lee?"

At the sound of Mattie's voice all the adults sat up straight and looked towards the door. Parker, Mattie, and J.J. stood there dressed in breezy summer clothing that smelled of the ocean air, with the two older teens holding hands.

"Uncle Lee!"

Mattie let go of Parker's hand and ran forward into the living room to throw herself into his arms. Even though she loved L.A., after that talk she had with Parker on the day they had officially become a couple, she found that each day she was beginning to get more and more homesick for Oakdale and especially her uncle.

"What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming until tomorrow!"

Lee hugged his niece to him tightly, wishing with everything he had that he would be able spare her the pain that was coming.

"Hey, Sunshine. How's my favorite girl?"

Mattie laughed, her long brown hair swaying as she shook her head. Green eyes sparkling mischievously she glanced over his shoulder at Molly and winked.

"Hmmm, I don't know if I hold that title anymore, Uncle Lee. Right, Molly?"

Instead of getting a laugh back like she expected, both Lee and Molly's eyes darted to something over her shoulder and she shifted to see what it was. Her own eyes widened and her arms dropped to her side as she finally noticed Jack sitting in the armchair across from the sofa.

"Oh, um, hi, Mr. Snyder."

"Hey, Mattie." Jack said, smiling back at the obviously flustered girl in front of him, even as his mind raced to add up all the tiny nuances he had seen and heard today.

Mattie gave him a small return smile before turning and mouthing a "sorry" in Carly and Molly's general direction.

Parker and J.J. came forward to save the moment and enthusiastically, if not somewhat confusedly, greeted their dad as well.

"Hey, uh, not to sound like a parrot or anything," J.J. said, looking at his dad and then at Lee, "but what _are_ you doing here?"

The unspoken word "together" hung in the air and all the adults exchanged looks.

"Sunshine, I need you to sit down for me." Lee said and Mattie frowned as she lowered herself on to the couch inbetween Molly and Carly. Lee kneeled in front of her and took her hands in his.

"Uncle Lee? What's going on? What's wrong?" Mattie asked, her voice trembling. She had only seen the look in his eyes twice in her young lifetime. Once when they had all found out that her father had died in a plane crash and then again, barely a year later, when she lost her mother, not to death but a fate just as horrible.

"I need you to listen to me, okay?" Lee said and Mattie nodded slowly, biting her lower lip in anxiety. "Last night, someone came to see me. Someone I haven't seen in a long time…from back home."

"I don't understand. Weren't you_ in_ Oakdale last night?" Mattie asked and Lee couldn't help the small smile. It was a wonderful thing that Mattie felt safe and secure enough to identify Oakdale as home.

"No, Luv, from back in…" Lee started to say but Mattie cut him off as realization spread across her face.

"Oh." Mattie said, the hollowness in her voice causing everyone in the room to cringe. They had never heard that tone on the normally cheerful girl before and it unsettled them. "Was it about Mum?"

"Not exactly, Luv. It was about you." Lee answered and at her perplexed face he sighed. "There's no easy way to tell you so I'm just going to say it, okay?"

Mattie nodded and he looked down at their clasped hands before sighing and looking up again.

"Your biological dad is in Oakdale and he is suing me for custody of you." Lee said and the gasps that he heard all around tore into him because he knew exactly how they felt. He still wasn't over the shock of hearing the words directly from Chris Turner's mouth last night at the precinct.

"_What_?" Mattie said, shaking her head. "What are you talking about? He's gone. He's been gone a long time, Uncle Lee. Besides, even if it is true, he can't _do_ that. He signed away his rights when Daddy adopted me."

Lee shook his head sadly and let out another sigh.

"That's what I thought but apparently there was a screw-up in the paperwork for the original parental release. Any of the legal documents following it, like your adoption papers, have been rendered null and void."

"So…what are you saying? Are you saying that I have to _go_ _with him_?" Mattie said, her eyes widening in alarm.

"No! I mean, not yet. We're going to have a custody trial to determine that." Lee said, trying to calm his niece's panic.

"Where? Not all the way back in Australia?" Molly asked, placing a comforting arm around Mattie and looking at Lee in shock.

"No…I…" Lee said and looked to Jack for help.

Jack felt a grip on his sleeve suddenly and looked up into the anxious face of his oldest son, who had seated himself on the arm of the easy chair that Jack was sitting in. He patted Parker's hand reassuringly and shook his head.

"No, not in Australia. We found out that this Turner guy was originally born in upstate New York before his parents moved to Australia when he was an infant. This makes him an American citizen and therefore causes Mattie to have dual citizenship since she is a minor." Jack said, leaning forward in a pensive gesture as he spoke. "I called Tom Hughes last night when all this came out and even though he doesn't normally practice family law he was able to get the custody trial postponed until Monday."

"Monday? As in _this_ Monday?" Carly exclaimed.

"It was the best Tom could do. Turner and his lawyer were demanding it start on Friday, but since this weekend is the Fourth of July, the judge said he would delay court until Monday. Tom also gave Lee the name of a colleague, John Richardson, who specializes in tough custody cases. He has a very good record, one of the best in the country. He's already agreed to take the case. Tom sent him all the information and Richardson is flying in on Sunday morning from New York." Jack said, sending them all what he hoped was an encouraging glance.

"Tough cases? So that means my…this_ guy_…has a good chance of getting custody?" Mattie asked, her eyes flying to Lee's face again. He swallowed hard and squeezed her hands.

"I don't know, Luv." Lee said honestly and Mattie shook her head violently.

"No! After what he did; after how he abused my mum? I bet you thought I didn't know about that, but I heard her talking to Daddy once. I heard what he did to her!" Mattie said, starting to cry.

"Yes, it's true," Lee said, not denying what she was saying. She was old enough to know the truth. "But his lawyer is claiming that it was many years ago and that he is a changed man."

"And they think that the judge will believe that after last night?" Molly said and with gentle fingertips reached out to caress the ugly bruise that had formed along Lee's firm jaw line.

"I don't know." Lee said again, hating that those words seemed to be on repeat out of his mouth.

Mattie just looked at him in shock, tears streaming down her face, and then ripped her hands out of Lee's grip. "Well, I don't care what any stupid judge says! Do you hear me? I won't go with him! He's not my dad and I _won't_ go!"

Mattie jumped off the couch and ran out of the room, the echoing slam of her bedroom door making the walls shake in the small ranch style house. When Lee stood to go after her, Parker jumped up and looked at him.

"Lee, wait. Let me go and try to talk to her." Parker said and after a second of hesitation, Lee nodded. Parker gave him a small smile and rushed down the hall to the bedrooms. Knocking softly he called out to Mattie and a few moments later the door opened and they all watched as he slipped inside.

"What if she's right? What if he wins?" Lee said and turned to look at them in desperation. "I mean, the blood of a biological parent almost always trumps another blood relation. Doesn't it?"

"It's not fair."

This time it was J.J. who spoke, as he stood up from where he had been quietly sitting in front of the couch. Now he chose to sit down on it, settling next to Carly. Sighing he leaned his head against his mom's shoulder, seeking the comfort of her proximity despite his being only a couple months away from turning fifteen years old.

"Blood shouldn't matter when the man who tries to take you away is a monster."

Carly and Jack looked at each other and frowned. Like their son, they also clearly remembered when J.J.'s biological father had tried to steal him away, nearly killing both J.J. and Carly in the process. Even after all these years, the lingering effects that murdering abuser had on all of their psyches was not so easily forgotten.

Carly reached up and softly threaded her fingers through J.J.'s growing hair, the locks still slightly damp from the ocean waves. It was a familiar rhythmic motion that she used to do to lull him back to sleep when he was a little boy and he had woken up after having nightmares of Les Sweeney coming for him in the night. Kissing his head gently she leaned her cheek against his hair and sighed too.

"No, Sweetie, it shouldn't."

Lee stood completely still in the middle of the living room and tried to force himself to remember to breathe. Molly stood up and walked to his side, linking her fingers with his and leaning forward to press her forehead to his bicep. Lee leaned his face down and pressed his lips to the top of Molly's head, closing his eyes in thought.

If either Lee or Molly had been truly thinking about it, maybe they would have been more discrete but the emotional toll of the situation had caused them to naturally gravitate towards each other. Unfortunately, despite everything that was going on, Jack _was_ paying attention and the stance was too intimate for him not to be completely confused. But when he glanced over at Carly for her reaction, he was surprised to see that she didn't even seem to be aware of the position her supposed boyfriend and cousin were in.

He was about to say something but the sound of movement down the hall drew everyone's attention.

Sure enough, Mattie's bedroom door opened again and the two teens emerged, hand in hand. There were dried tear tracks on Mattie's cheeks but there seemed to be almost a calm aura around her. They walked over to where Lee and Molly stood and Parker squeezed her hand before letting go. He silently sat back down on the couch with J.J. and Carly, who wrapped her other arm around him.

Mattie looked at Molly, who smiled at her and then stepped away to sit on the arm of the sofa. The teenaged girl turned to look at Lee again and let out a sigh.

"If he wins custody, what will you do?" Mattie asked and Lee looked confused for a second before reaching out to grip her arms.

"I will appeal. I will appeal and fight until I get you back."

"And you won't stop?" Mattie asked, her eyes searching his face desperately.

"I swear to you, Sunshine, that I won't. As long as there is breath in my body, I will never stop fighting until you are home again where you belong. I_ need_ you to believe that."

Mattie let out another sigh and then threw herself back into her uncle's arms. Holding him tightly, her voice trembled and then cracked as she said, "I believe it."

He held onto her as tightly as she was to him, a couple of tears slipping out to slide down his face. After a couple of minutes, he pulled back and kissed her forehead, before turning to the others.

"Okay, everyone, start packing. We leave for Oakdale in the morning."


	50. Friends Become Family If We Choose

**Author's Note: Greetings everyone! I have a very special announcement to make. Seeing as how I have the next five (yes, five) chapters already written and ready to go, I'm going to make a deal with you all. The reviews are coming in fabulously now and I appreciate so very much. And what's even more apparently so does my muse because I am writing up a storm! So keep them coming and my promise to you is that after I receive _at least 10 reviews_ on a chapter I will happily post the next one (and no, Allie, it doesn't count if all 10 reviews come from you LOL). As an added bonus, I will also be bringing back that wonderful thing called the preview! :) Hopefully, they will provide some incentive to keep up your end of the bargain.**

**The deal starts now. For this chapter only, let's try and make 12 reviews to get that nice round number of 200. After that, the 10 deal is effect. So...get to reading and reviewing and of course...ENJOYING! :)  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Friends are the family we choose for ourselves."  
__~Edna Buchanan  
_************************************************************************

When Carly's arm flung out to land across Molly's chest for the third time, the dark haired woman had finally had enough. Groaning softly, she lifted her cousin's arm and gently replaced it back over onto her own side of the bed. Sitting up slowly, she glanced at the clock with unfocused eyes and groaned again when she saw that it was barely 6:00 in the morning. Their flight to Chicago didn't leave until 10 so they weren't even heading to the airport until 8 all of which meant that her wonderful cousin had just robbed her of _at least_ another hour of sleep.

Molly glared down at the blonde who was lying on her back beside her, but as she watched Carly shift uncomfortably in her sleep, the glare softened to a look of sympathy. In all reality, she knew should just be grateful that Carly had finally been able to fall asleep at all. Besides the events of yesterday and the upcoming return to Oakdale pressing on her mind, the baby girl that Carly was carrying had decided to play a game of in-utero soccer well into the wee hours of the morning.

Pressing a light kiss to Carly's temple, Molly slipped out of the bed and threw on her short, light weight bathrobe. Sweeping her growing hair up from her shoulders into a short ponytail, she proceeded to silently sneak out of the bedroom to head towards the kitchen. She figured that since she was up she might as well make some coffee and really get her day started.

Pausing in the hallway, she couldn't make out any noise coming from Mattie's room or the one on the other side. To keep up appearances Carly had slept in Molly's bedroom with her with Lee taking up residence in the guest bedroom that had served as Carly's room for the past few months. But the secretive longing looks that Molly and he had exchanged before bed spoke volumes of how much they were missing their normal arrangement.

Moving as quietly as she could through the living room, she snuck a peek at the pull out couch that J.J. had graciously conceded to his father while he bunked on an air mattress up in the loft with Parker. Seeing that Jack was still out like a light, complete with a pillow over his head, Molly nodded in satisfaction and continued her way into the kitchen. She stopped short at the sight of her red ceramic tea kettle sitting on a pot holder in the middle of the center island. Reaching out to touch the kettle she pulled back when she realized that the kettle was still hot. Since Molly hadn't heard the whistle she knew that the person who had made the tea had been watching closely as not to wake everyone up.

Forgoing her original idea of coffee, Molly poured herself a cup of the hot water and added a tea bag of cinnamon apple which was her favorite morning blend. After adding a teaspoon of sugar, she cleaned up as noiselessly as she could and then moved back out into the living room, her eyes searching for any other signs of life. Spotting the back door, she quirked an eyebrow at the sight of the glass door open, but the screen door still in place. She briefly wondered whether or not she would have noticed the slight smell of the ocean air and the early morning breeze if she had been more awake when she had left her bedroom a few minutes ago.

Standing at the screen door, sipping her tea, Molly's eyes scanned the backyard until they landed on their target. Seated in the over sized, convertible, lawn swing that Molly had somehow been convinced to buy in the beginning of the summer, was Mattie.

The young girl was still in her pajamas but like Molly she wore a lightweight bathrobe over top to ward off the morning chill. She had adjusted the swing to its hammock position and was lying down on the thick quilted material. But while one leg was tucked under her, the other dangled off the edge and every so often gently rocked the swing back and forth.

Molly slid the screen door closed behind her and stepped, barefoot, out into the backyard. Pausing a moment to wiggle her toes in the cool grass, the moistness of the dew caused a chill to go up Molly's spine. Padding across the yard silently, she stopped at the other end of the hammock swing and leaned against the base.

"Is this a private party or can anyone join?"

Mattie's eyes shot open and her head jerked to the side to look at Molly, her body freezing in surprise. But she quickly recovered with a long sigh and closed her eyes again.

"I didn't think anyone else was up." Mattie said softly.

"Well, I wasn't until Laila Ali whacked me in the chest for the millionth time with her arm in her sleep." Molly said and Mattie snickered, still without opening her eyes. But this time she did scoot over a miniscule distance which Molly took to mean that she was welcome to join the girl on the swing.

"You know, we put this thing up the first weekend that you and Parker came out to stay with us and I think this is only the second time I've ever actually laid on it." Molly said, placing her cup down on the grass by the frame of the swing and lying down on her side to face Mattie.

"I use it all the time. Some nights when I can't sleep, I come out here and just listen. I know it's probably just my imagination but I swear if I listen hard enough I can hear the ocean." Mattie said, her voice still soft as though not to break the blanket of the rising dawn.

Molly tilted her head and for a long moment they were both silent.

"Hmm, I don't think it's your imagination, because I hear it too." Molly said, smiling.

"Thanks." With her eyes still shut, Mattie smiled too.

"What brings you out here so early though?" Molly asked, propping her chin in her palm as she sat up on her elbow.

At this Mattie opened one green eye and just looked at Molly as to point out the absurdity of the question. Molly gave a small nod of acknowledgement and the girl shut her eye again, tilting her face towards slight warmth of the newly rising sun.

"It's going to be okay, you know?" Molly said quietly after a moment and Mattie frowned.

"No, I_ don't_ know that and neither does anyone else." She said, her voice bordering on hostile. "I wish everyone would stop acting like I'm too young to understand or to see how worried they really are. I can handle it. I'm sixteen and a half for God's sake."

"We know how old you are, Mattie, and maybe that's why we don't _want_ you to have to handle it. At your age, your life shouldn't be this hard." Molly said and Mattie sighed loudly.

"It's too late for that Molly. My life hasn't been easy for a very long time."

"Hmm, so is that why you're out here? A little mini pity party?" Molly asked and Mattie's eyes shot open to land on her in amazement.

"_Excuse me?"_

"What happened to the strong independent girl I met all those months ago? Where is the funny, optimistic, bright eyed girl that has been living in my house for the summer? Now is not the time to give up!" Molly said, placing a finger under Mattie's chin and tilting her face towards her. "Your uncle meant what he said yesterday, Mattie. He's going to fight with everything he has to keep you safe and with him. We all are."

"Why…" Mattie started to ask but Molly shook her head and cut her off.

"You're family; it's as simple as that." Molly said and Mattie frowned.

"Because you're dating Uncle Lee, you mean?"

"Nope. I'm sorry to disappoint you, kiddo, but you became family a good while before that big lug and I starting anything." Molly said, bringing her finger out from under Mattie's chin and grinningly tapped her nose instead.

Mattie fought back a smile but in the end lost out and lay back down, laughing quietly. Molly lay down too and this time it was she who started to push the swing back and forth with one of her legs. They were silent for a few moments before Mattie turned her head to look at Molly.

"Molly, will you promise me something?" Mattie asked, suddenly very serious.

Molly looked at her in confusion. "What's that?"

"If…if this custody thing doesn't work out the way we want it to…" Mattie started to say.

"Mattie…" Molly tried to cut her off but stopped when Mattie sat up and leaned on her elbow to look down into Molly's face.

"Just hear me out, okay?" Mattie asked and Molly closed her mouth, before nodding. Thinking hard a moment to gather her thoughts, Mattie tried again. "If it doesn't work out and I end up having to go with this guy…will you…will you look after Uncle Lee for me?"

Stunned, all Molly could do was blink rapidly for a moment before swallowing the lump that was in her throat. She knew how close Mattie and Lee were and for the girl to ask her something like that showed just how much faith and trust she really had in Molly.

"I promise." Molly said and Mattie searched her face intently. Apparently finding what she wanted, Mattie nodded in satisfaction and flopped back down, letting her long hair fan out around her head.

"You're good for him, you know?"

Molly turned her head to look at Mattie and the teen smiled.

"He's dated before, of course. I mean, why wouldn't he, right? He's not a monk or anything and he's pretty good looking even if I am a bit biased." Mattie said and Molly smiled too. "But you…there's something that happens when he sees you that never happened before. It's like…I dunno…someone plugged him in like lights on a Christmas tree or something."

Molly blushed deeply and let out a small laugh. Then quirking an eyebrow she said, "You mean like how Parker looks at you?"

This time it was Mattie who blushed and then both females started to giggle. When their laughter died down, Molly and Mattie found they were pushing the swing in unison.

"I've only known him a little while but I can't imagine my life without him." Mattie said, frowning as she thought about what she had just said. "I know that sounds kinda corny but that's how I feel. He's not just my boyfriend, he's my best friend."

"I know what you mean." Molly said softly, her mind drifting to not just her and Lee, but how Carly and Jack had always been…back before everything seemed to get so out of control.

Molly reached out her hand and found Mattie's resting by her side. She gently entwined the young girl's fingers with her and gave it a squeeze. Mattie squeezed back but then pulled her hand away. Molly frowned but it quickly disappeared when Mattie's fingers came back to just lightly dance on Molly's palm as she started to talk.

"I used to dream about going back to Australia, you know? When we first came to Oakdale, it happened almost every night. I used to dream about what it would have been like, for me and my mum, if my dad hadn't died in that plane crash. Even with everything that happened there, Australia was safe…it was home. It had been for my whole life."

Mattie trailed off and she closed her eyes tightly. Molly looked over to see a few tears escape the girl's eyelids and slide down her temples to get lost in her dark hair.

"But when Parker and I came out here for the summer, the weirdest thing happened. I started to dream about going home…to Oakdale." Mattie whispered her voice catching as she struggled to hold back the tears and the emotions that were running wild within her. "And it _is_ home now, you know? I'm happy and I have a good life. Don't I deserve it? After everything that He has put me through?"

"Oh Mattie, of course you do! You deserve the best life." Molly said and Mattie flung a hand over her eyes, her chest hitching as she tried to take in deep breaths.

"Then why is this happening to me? Why did this guy have to come back now and try and take me away from my home? Away from my family?"

Mattie opened her eyes to stare at Molly, the pleading look and the tone of her voice made Molly's breath catch and her heart ache. But she didn't say anything, only shook her head to express that even she didn't have an answer to that, and the girl sighed.

"I know she hurt me and I know I shouldn't but sometimes…I really miss my mom." Mattie said and rubbed the tears burning in her eyes with the heels of her palms. It didn't seem to make a difference as a damn inside Mattie seemed to burst and she couldn't help the sobs that came out.

Molly didn't hesitate and reached out to pull the girl into her arms. Mattie seemed to resist for a moment but then clung like a lifeline to Molly, who just rocked her gently and made soothing noises.

It wasn't a long release but it was obviously needed and soon Mattie seemed to be calming down, the tears slowing and her breathing returning to normal. Still holding her tightly Molly pressed her cheek against the girl's long chestnut brown hair and spoke softly to her.

"Mattie, I know I'm not your mom but if it helps I just want you to know that I love you very much and I'm very proud of you. You were right before. You've had a hard time of it but you're strong and you will survive this, no matter what happens."

Mattie pulled away and rubbed the tears off of her cheeks. She bit her lip gently, before releasing a shaky breath and smiling up at her.

"It helps, Molly. It helps a lot."

Molly raised her arm up again and without another word, Mattie shifted to curl up by her side. Mattie's head came to rest on Molly's shoulder and the older woman gently rocked them in swing as they watched the morning sunrise paint the sky shades of purple, pink, and orange. All too soon their solitude was broken by the sounds of their names being called within the house and they finally headed inside to face what lay ahead.

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**On the next chapter of True North:**  
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"Hmm, I'm glad everyone is here. It's providing just the distraction that we need right now. Especially for Lee and Matte." Carly said, turning from the now empty sink and wiping her hands on a dishtowel.

"How are they holding up?' Emma asked, genuinely concerned.

"Okay, for now. They're trying to keep up their brave faces." Carly said, moving away from her to lean on top of the island and giving a soft smile. "Parker hasn't left Mattie's side for more than two minutes; he's so worried about her."

"Yes, well, I noticed that Molly hasn't been too far from Lee either." Emma said and Carly jerked upright. She looked at the older woman who merely looked back with a calm and questioning gaze. "Why do you suppose that is?"

Carly narrowed her eyes and cautiously licked her lips. "I don't…"

"Actually, I've been wondering that too. Along with a few other things."

Jack's voice startled them both and they turned around see him standing next to the refrigerator. He leaned against its side with his arms crossed over his chest and Carly knew by his stance and unyielding expression that he wasn't going to budge until he got some answers.

TBC...


	51. Celebrate Doing What Is Necessary

**Author's Note: Wow, this whole review thing is working out awesome (and you know I love you, Allie, so hush :-P )! Hmm, maybe I should up it to 15 reviews per chapter since you are all so amazing! LOL (Plus, I_ really_ wanna know what you guys think about this chapter and what's coming up next :-P ) Just an FYI, I am going to be out of town for a few days but depending on how many reviews I get, I'll post as quickly as I can when I get back. I promise!**

**ENJOY!  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Put yourself in a state of mind where you say to yourself, __'Here is an opportunity for you to celebrate like never before, my own power, my own ability to get myself to do whatever is necessary'."  
__~Anthony Robbins  
_************************************************************************

Dressed in a red and white hibiscus printed maternity shirt with white capri's, Carly looked incredibly happy and healthy as she put the last load of cups in the sink filled with soapy water. She glanced up and grinned when she saw Sage, Natalie, and Faith run past screaming with laughter as Mattie, Parker, and J.J. chased after them with water guns.

The happy sounds caused her to reflect back on another family barbeque that had ended up in a food fight. It was funny how even though she and Jack had been going through a divorce back then, somehow it all seemed so much simpler than the situation they were in now.

"Is everything okay?"

Carly's head shot up and turned to see Emma standing just inside the doorway to the kitchen, holding a stack of used paper plates that had been forgotten.

"What? Oh yeah, fine." Carly said, fighting the urge to fidget and place her hands on her protruding stomach.

While she and Emma had never been close, Carly respected the Snyder family matriarch and oddly enough found it almost as hard keeping the paternity of her baby from Emma as it was from Jack. She supposed it was because somewhere, deep inside, Carly was still that young woman who Jack had brought home long ago that wanted Emma's approval and acceptance.

"Are you sure? You looked a little…lost." Emma said, moving to throw the plates in her hand into the large trash bag hanging off of the center island.

Carly held back the bite of hysterical laughter that threatened to pop out of her throat and instead just shook her head.

"No, I'm fine. I was just thinking how nice it was for everyone to be able to come today. I'm still a little surprised that Meg and Paul didn't bring Eliza over for the barbeque." Carly said, reaching into the sink for another dish to wash and looking puzzled when she somehow came back up with one of Ethan's small plastic dinosaurs.

"Since they came here for Memorial Day, Barbara demanded they have their own party at Fairwinds today." Emma said, coming over to join Carly by the sink. She offered to wash but Carly waved her off and Emma resigned herself to drying the things that sat in the dish rack. "I think she even managed to get Craig to bring Johnny over too, which has been an impossible feat since the day he somehow managed to obtain temporary custody."

Carly sighed and shook her head, pausing a moment to think about the poor child who had only recently been torn away from everything he'd ever known and thrust into a world with people he didn't remember. Ironically, it was very similar to the situation that was looming over Mattie's head.

"Are he and Dusty still threatening to kill each other every five minutes?" Carly asked and felt Emma sigh.

"From what I hear, yes. Dusty is determined to get Johnny back and Craig won't let the boy anywhere near him. I think Barbara told Meg and Paul that Craig employed a nanny with a teaching degree so that Johnny can be homeschooled in case Dusty tries to take him at the school."

"Wow, Craig must be really afraid of losing him." Carly said and Emma snorted.

"Afraid or obsessed?"

Carly didn't answer, only shrugged while staring at the soapy water with a frown. While she was out in L.A., she had only gotten second hand information from Lily about the goings on in Oakdale and really couldn't judge the situation either way.

Carly knew that she would never be able to forgive Craig Montgomery for some of the things he had done to her and her family in a million years. An image of Rosanna lying in a coma so far away flashed though her mind and made her grip the sink as a wave of anguish washed over her. But she pulled herself together quickly in case Emma noticed something was wrong and started asking questions about something that Carly really wasn't in a strong enough emotional state of mind to answer.

And yet, bringing herself back to the topic at hand, Carly also recognized that once upon a time she had also seen the best of Craig in the way that he truly loved his son Bryant and daughter Lucy. It had torn him up when he had lost Bryant and as a result, Craig had developed a tendency to hold onto the children he had left with an iron clad grip. Unfortunately, when you hold on to something that tight, you run the risk of it breaking all together. It had happened with Lucy and Carly was hoping with everything she had, for Johnny's sake, that it wouldn't happen with that little boy.

"Barbara is on Dusty's side, isn't she?" Carly asked, jumping back into the conversation and starting to wash the dishes again as if she hadn't been silent for almost a good five minutes.

"Well you know Barbara." Emma said, wondering where Carly's mind had drifted to a moment ago, but wisely not pressing the issue. "She's on her own side as usual, but overall yes I think that she'd prefer Dusty had custody. If only because she and Craig butt head so horribly and he restricts her access to Johnny so much as it is."

"I hope that Janet went to Fairwinds with them today, if only to keep Craig back from causing a scene in front of Johnny and Eliza." Carly said and Emma froze in mid-action of drying of a plate. Carly noticed but kept going with the dishes, choosing to ignore it. Emma seemed to snap out of her stupor and took the now clean dish that Carly was offering to her to dry.

"I'm sure she did." Emma said slowly after clearing her throat. "Especially since Liberty went away to her friend Mindy's parent's lake house for the weekend."

"Oh yeah, Brad mentioned that during dinner didn't he?" Carly said, nodding as she vaguely remembered him saying something of that nature. "It was nice that he and Katie showed up for a little while before heading to do the pre-fireworks segment for WOAK at the high school."

"Well, ever since that last doctor's appointment when they found out that she is actually further along in the pregnancy than the doctors thought, Katie is supposed to already be on maternity leave. But she's proving to be a little stubborn when it comes to that. In fact, she said she's going to work right up until she feels contractions." Emma said, smiling with fondness.

"Much to Brad's panic." Carly said, chuckling as she remembered Brad following his very pregnant wife around the entire time as if waiting for the baby to just drop out at any moment.

"You know it's funny? I still can't believe that there's not more of a difference between you two. You guys are what…about two whole months apart?" Emma said, eyeing Carly's stomach.

Carly made a noncommittal noise in her throat while she unconsciously placed a hand on her abdomen. She wondered how funny Emma would really think it was if she knew that she and Katie were more likely only a few weeks apart, if that.

"I wonder if Sage, Faith, and Natalie gave Katie the same 'we'll babysit for a discount price' speech they gave me earlier." Carly said, deftly changing the subject.

As if talking about them had conjured them up, the three girls of discussion ran inside of the screened porch to where the tables of food had been set up. They each grabbed a cup of lemonade and downed it in two long gulps. Looking up to see Carly watching them from the window, they all waved before tossing the empty paper cups into the trash by the table. Then they were off and running back outside, careful to avoid the grill that was being cooled down and put away by Holden and Jack.

"I am happy that Sage and the girls decided to come home to celebrate the holiday with us instead of staying up at camp." Carly said, brushing a piece of her bangs off of her forehead and rolling her eyes as she felt the trail of soap suds she left behind.

"Well, once Sage knew you all were coming back to Oakdale I don't think you could have kept her away. And naturally my granddaughters wanted to be with their cousins and family too." Emma said, shrugging and to Carly's surprise she reached up to gently wipe the soap suds off of Carly's face with a paper towel.

"Hmm, I'm glad everyone is here. It's providing just the distraction that we need right now. Especially for Lee and Matte." Carly said, turning from the now empty sink and wiping her hands on a dishtowel.

"How are they holding up?' Emma asked, genuinely concerned.

"Okay, for now. They're trying to keep up their brave faces." Carly said, moving away from her to lean on top of the island and giving a soft smile. "Parker hasn't left Mattie's side for more than two minutes; he's so worried about her."

"Hmm, well, I noticed Molly hasn't been too far from Lee either." Emma said and Carly jerked upright. She looked at the older woman who merely looked back with a calm and questioning gaze. "Why do you suppose that is?"

Carly narrowed her eyes and cautiously licked her lips. "I don't…"

"Actually, I've been wondering that too. Along with a few other things."

Jack's voice startled them both and they turned around see him standing next to the refrigerator. He leaned against its side with his arms crossed over his chest and Carly knew by his stance and unyielding expression that he wasn't going to budge until he got some answers.

Carly opened and closed her mouth a couple times, trying to gather her thoughts. The screen door opened again and Lily and Holden walk in, causing Carly to roll her eyes.

"What is this? An intervention?" She asked frustrated and starting to feel slightly claustrophobic.

Lily looked around the kitchen and then slid over to stand by Carly. She wrapped one arm around her and rested her chin on Carly's left shoulder.

"Nope. When I saw Emma come in here with trash and not return, I remembered that you were in here too and wanted to make sure there was no undue stress being placed on you. You know, she can be pretty determined and meddlesome when she wants to be." Lily said, giving her mother-in-law a fond but firm look.

Emma didn't say anything, just turned made an exasperated noise and then turned to raise her eyebrows at Holden. "You come in here to protect Carly from me too?"

"Uh, I'm just an innocent bystander. I'm here cause my wife said there were brownies." Holden said, pointing a finger at Lily who made a face at him.

"Coward." She muttered, even though her tone was decidedly playful.

"Well now that she has a support system, maybe she can answer a question." Jack said, his frustration and impatience clear in his voice causing any levity in the room to dissipate quickly. "What exactly is going on between you, Lee, and Molly?"

Carly swallowed hard and looking around, she saw that even her so called supporters, Lily and Holden, were staring at her in curiosity. Frowning, she finally just shrugged.

"Yes, it's true. Lee and I aren't together. And yes he is, in fact, dating Molly. They have been together for some time now." Carly said and she could feel everyone's confusion, especially when they all glanced to her stomach. If Carly hadn't felt as if she was going to be sick at any moment, she would have laughed at the looks on their faces.

"Carly, I don't understand." Holden said, the first one to speak up.

"Honey, what about the baby?" Lily asked, her eyes searching Carly's face.

Having known the truth about the paternity since the beginning but wanting what was best for her friend's health, Lily had played along with Lee as the baby's father. Now she couldn't help but ask the question to keep up appearances, even though Carly could tell there was an underlying subtly to the inquiry.

Sending a small furtive look to Jack, Carly's breath caught in her throat. There had been something in his expression when she caught his eye that had her heart leaping in her chest. Maybe now was the perfect time to tell him…tell them all…the truth. The baby was healthy and Carly felt that she was probably strong enough to handle the immediate backlash.

Lee and Molly would support her and she knew that Lily wouldn't be far behind. Holden's reaction didn't really matter to her, to be honest, other than the fact that it would be nice to have someone else on her side when it came out around town. Emma would be stunned at first but Carly was pretty sure she would just chalk it up to another idiotic decision in the life of Carly Tenney and then gush about a new Snyder baby.

And Jack…well…for once she had no idea how he would react, but again the look on his face told her that maybe all wasn't lost.

But before she could say a word, she heard Parker and Mattie call out to the other kids that they were going to refill the water guns with the hose. A sudden rational thought entered her brain and chilled her to the bone.

If she told them all now, what would that mean for Mattie's custody trial? Even though it wasn't the overall truth, Lee would be portrayed as someone who had helped her lie and cover up medical information. Chris Turner's lawyer would have a field day and with the odds already stacked against Lee's winning, she knew she couldn't contribute to taking that girl away from her home.

Besides, John Richardson, the lawyer representing Lee, had told them that the trial would most likely be settled by next weekend due to the fact that they were on the court docket for every day next week. What was one more week if it helped keep Mattie where she belonged?

Carly took a deep breath and forced a smile. "Lee and I will always be close because of the baby, but we just don't love each other that way. He's happy with Molly and I am thrilled for them."

"Carly, that's absurd!" Jack exploded and she frowned. "He can't just abandon you and date your cousin! Not now!"

"Jack, please calm down. It's okay, really. Everything is going to be fine, you'll see." Carly said and something in her voice made him stop. Yet before he could say anything the door opened again and everyone turned to look.

Molly was looking back over her shoulder at Lee and they were both laughing at something that Lee had said when they entered the kitchen and stopped short at the sight before them. Taking in the scene and the openly confused and slightly hostile looks on certain faces, they both frowned.

"Whoa." Lee said and instinctively took a step back.

"What's going on?" Molly asked, looking around the room with wide blue eyes.

"You son of a…" Jack growled and started to move towards Lee but Carly quickly cut him off.

"Jack, stop it!" Carly said and both Lee and Molly's eyes shot to her for an explanation. "It's okay guys. I, uh, I told them the truth.

"What…uh….what truth is that exactly, Luv?" Lee asked, his eyes darting to Jack who still looked ready to tear him apart.

"You know. The truth about how even though you'll be around to help me with the baby that you and I aren't together and that you're actually with Molly now. That you've been with Molly for a while and I'm completely okay with it because we are better off as friends." Carly rambled quickly.

She looked between the two of them with her eyes conveying what she hoped was a clear message of "don't mess this up".

"Oh, right, that truth." Molly said and then gave an honestly sheepish look. "I guess we weren't exactly keeping a low profile today, huh?"

"Not exactly." Jack said, his voice still resonating with annoyance.

"Okay, look." Emma said suddenly, bringing everyone's attention away from the fight that Jack was obviously itching to have with Lee and Molly. "Today isn't about Carly or Lee or Molly. This is about making sure that those kids, especially Mattie, see that we as the adults are strong and confident that everything is going to be okay. And if it isn't then we can at least all bury the hatchet for one day and give that young girl out there a memory to last her until she can come back to us. Agreed?"

As she looked around everyone looked properly contrite as they mumbled under their breaths.

"I said, agreed?" Emma repeated, her voice causing no room for argument and they all raised their voices as they gave their own version of the word yes as answer. "Good. Now I think it's time to get dessert out before we go meet Paul and Meg for fireworks."

Lee and Molly were the first ones out the door, openly holding hands this time even though Jack was still giving them the evil eye.

Lily moved next, giving Carly a mini-hug around the shoulders before shooing her husband towards the door. She saw Emma hesitate when neither Carly nor Jack looked like they were following and Lily grabbed her by the hand.

"Let's go, Mom." Lily said, pulling with her. "You can help me wrangle the kids together."

When the screen door snapped shut, the silence between Carly and Jack filled the air. It didn't last long before Jack cut it with a sigh.

"How long?" He asked and she tilted her head in confusion.

"I don't know what you…"

"How long since you and Lee broke up?" Jack clarified. Carly bit her lip, trying to come up with answer. "Was it before the fashion show?"

Since they technically hadn't ever really been a couple in the first place Carly felt she was honestly answering when she said, "Yes."

"Was it before Mother's Day? Before you even went out to L.A. in the first place?" Jack continued.

"Jack, please, it doesn't matter when. Lee and I aren't together but we're still as close as we ever were." Carly said, shrugging slightly as she again phrased her words carefully.

"Carly, how can you say that? The man is dating your cousin, for God's sake!" Jack said, sweeping an arm out in the direction of the backyard where everyone was. "How long did it take for that to happen, by the way? Did they at least wait until you were broken up to start seeing each other?"

"Knock it off, Jack." Carl said, her annoyance growing at his unwarranted attack on Lee and Molly. Granted, he didn't know the whole story but she couldn't just sit back while he said things like that. "Molly and Lee would never do that to me. In fact, I saw this coming a while before they did and the only thing that surprised me is how long it took for the two of them to get their acts together."

Jack saw that his accusations were distressing her and, while he didn't agree with her defending the two of them, that was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Carly, I just…I'm worried about you. About both of you." Jack said, gesturing to her stomach, and Carly's face immediately softened.

"Thanks, Jack. We're fine…both of us." She said quietly and self-consciously smoothed her shirt over her abdomen.

Jack slowly walked forward until he was only a couple feet away from her. He glanced at her stomach and his hands curled at his sides.

"Can I…? I mean, would you mind if I…?" Jack asked, looking into her eyes and she frowned a moment before realization spread across her face. Silently she reached out to take his hands and then placed them against her hard stomach.

They stood like that for a couple minutes, not speaking, just absorbing the moment until a sudden movement disturbed both of them.

"Hey, she kicked me!" Jack said, his eyes widening and letting out a laugh. "Why is it that every time you're pregnant, the kid decides that I'm the one to practice karate on?"

"I don't know. But she has been pretty quiet all day, until now." Carly said, laughing along with him although it was a desperate attempt to mask the internal battle not to cry.

"Yeah, well, not anymore. I think you've got a World Cup champion on your hands." Jack said and a second kick echoed in the spot underneath where his other hand lay, causing him to laugh again.

"Hmm, maybe." Carly said, blinking back tears as she thought to herself, _'Or maybe she just knows her daddy's touch.'_

This went on for a few more moments, with Jack moving his hands gently into different positions on her stomach and the baby somehow instinctively finding them and giving him tiny kicks.

As uncomfortable as the little game between the two of them was becoming for Carly, she took one look at the wonder and amusement on Jack's face and knew that she wouldn't have stopped it even if she was in real pain.

Thankfully, just before it got to that point, the baby stopped kicking, having apparently grown bored or just exhausted herself and fallen back asleep.

Shaking his head, Jack looked into Carly's face, his eyes filled with something that she couldn't begin to describe. She placed her hands over top of his and frowned, trying to figure out the expression on his face.

"Jack, are you okay?"

Jack's hands dropped to his sides again and he shuffled on his feet before speaking softly.

"Carly, why didn't you tell me sooner? About you and Lee?" He asked and she looked up at him sadly.

Placing a hand on his cheek, she gave him a small smile. "Oh Jack, everything got so complicated so quickly. I just…I couldn't."

She could see by his face that her answer wasn't adequate and she didn't blame him. However, instead of continuing, she found herself asking him a question right back.

"Be honest, Jack. After the night of my fashion show and the way things ended between us, would you have believed me…or even cared?"

Jack blinked and struggled to answer, only to find that he didn't have one. At least not one that he wanted to admit aloud. But to his surprise, instead of getting angry at his silence, Carly just smiled softly.

"You forget, G-man, that I know you better than anyone ever will. Maybe even better than you know yourself." She said, shaking her head.

When she did a lock of her sleek straightened blonde hair fell to lay against her cheek and Jack's fingers itched to reach out and brush it away like he had always done. But she beat him to it, removing her hand from his cheek to tuck it back behind her ear again. Jack realized that his cheek felt decidedly cold now, without her touch, and he forced himself to try and refocus even when all that he truly wanted was for her to touch him again.

Suddenly emboldened by the emotions flashing in of Jack's eyes, Carly rose up onto her tiptoes to press a soft but brief kiss to his mouth. Before he could really react she settled back down, looked up into his startled gaze and chuckled quietly as she ran her thumb across his slightly parted lips.

"Everything's going to be okay, Jack. You'll see. Just a little while longer and then it's all going to work out the way it's supposed to."

Jack frowned at her cryptic words and suddenly feeling decidedly uncomfortable with their closeness, took a step away from her. But instead of looking offended, Carly just raised an eyebrow and smiled mysteriously at him. Then without saying another word, she gracefully moved around him to slip outside and join everyone else.

Jack watched her go, his mind racing. How in the world had he had stayed to confront her only to end up kissing her.? It boggled his mind that, after all these years, she _still_ managed to leave him standing alone in a room with his mouth agape after her.

But after a moment he realized that she had also left him with something else that he hadn't had in a long time.

_Hope._

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**On the next chapter of True North:**  
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"That's not true!" Molly said, jumping to her feet.

All eyes swung to the brunette who was now standing in the middle of the public gallery, glaring daggers at the attorney badgering Lee.

Molly recognized her mistake the second she stood up, but she couldn't just sit there and let that man torpedo Lee like that. She knew that she had to help him but for the life of her, as she shifted on her feet nervously, she realized that she didn't have a clue as to how.

Not a moment later the judge gave her the opportunity she was looking for as he banged the gavel for attention and pointed a finger at her, his face stern.

"Who are you, young lady, and why are you disrupting this court?"

Molly froze, her mind going a million miles per hour as she tried to think of something to say; _anything_ to say. When the idea came into her head, Molly knew it was insane and hesitated until she glanced down the row to where Carly sat. She was looking at her, with one eyebrow perfectly arched in expectation. That special bond they had was working full steam, because by the surprised yet resigned expression on her cousin's face she seemed to somehow know exactly what Molly was about to do. Carly gave a nearly imperceptible nod of encouragement and gathering a deep breath Molly smiled reassuringly at her before lifting her chin proudly.

"My name is Molly Conlan, your Honor."

Judge Miller made a face that clearly stated for her to elaborate and Molly briefly threw a look in Lee's direction before refocusing on the judge.

"I'm Dr. Reynold's fiancée."

TBC


	52. Taking It In As It Comes Along

**Author's Note: Sorry that it's late guys. After coming home from a nice little vacation to see a friend, I instantly got into a screaming match with my father. Needless to say, haven't been in the mood today to post. But a promise is a promise! :) I would like to thank soaps-fan for aptly naming what we are now heading into: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to my version of May sweeps! Hang on tightly and please keep all hand inside the vehicle at all times! LOL**

**Enjoy!  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_It doesn't exactly feel like a shock, but it's all new to me, and I'm taking it in as it comes."  
__~Eminem  
_************************************************************************

Monday morning came too soon for all of them especially since the rest of the weekend following the Fourth of July had been a blur for those involved with the custody case. Abigail had flown in on Saturday evening in time to meet up with them for fireworks and a happy reunion with her father's side of the family. Just before they had all said their goodnights, she had volunteered to keep Sage and the other kids entertained while the court proceedings were going on.

John Richardson, the lawyer that was going to defend Lee in the proceedings, had flown in early Sunday morning. A relatively handsome man in his late fifties with a gray hair, a beard and blue eyes, he looked not unlike a slim version of Santa Claus. He was very friendly, but had also wasted no time in getting down to business.

Lily had reserved one of the Lakeview's conference rooms for them to do all of their preparation work and it became a revolving door of people going in to go over their possible testimony in case they were called as witnesses. Since this was a custody hearing and not a criminal trial everyone had the potential to be called on either side, from Mattie to Parker and even all the way down to Emma if the court deemed her a necessary witness.

And, as one could imagine, tensions were running high as they all assembled in the courtroom late Monday morning.

As Richardson and Lee took their places on the defense side of the courtroom, the others followed behind to sit in that section of the public gallery. Holden slid into the second bench followed by Lily, Emma, J.J, and Jack. Carly sent him a grateful smile at the subtlety with which he had left the first bench, and coincidentally the one with the most leg and stomach room, open for the rest of them. She slid in first, with Molly right behind her. As Parker and Mattie went to follow, the sound Mattie's full name caused everyone's eyes to shift to the voice.

"Matilda? I can't believe that's you. My God, Luv, you look just like your mother."

Chris Turner's eyes swept over her and his voice was sickeningly sweet. He made a move to step towards her and Mattie stepped back, nearly losing her balance in her haste to get away from him.

Parker stepped in between the two of them and glared at the approaching man, his hands curled into fists at his sides.

"Get away from her." He growled and Turner's eyes narrowed.

"I have every right to say hello to my daughter, mate."

"Over my dead body." Parker said back, his entire body rigid and ready to attack if necessary.

By now, Holden, J.J., and Jack were also standing, Lee was being held back by his lawyer, and even Carly looked ready to assault the man if warranted.

"Mr. Turner," Molly spoke up quickly, attempting to diffuse the situation before it escalated out of control. She had her one arm protectively around Mattie's waist from when the girl had stumbled back into her earlier and she could feel the young teen trembling against her. "We understand that you want to see Mattie, but court is about to start soon and I think it'd be best if you went over to where your lawyer is waiting."

Chris Turner's eyes traveled up and down Molly's body slowly and she resisted the urge to shudder. Instead she met his leer head on with a determined stare and after a moment, he smiled slowly.

"You're right. There will be plenty of time for my daughter and me to get acquainted later on." Turner said, nodding and then winked in Mattie's direction. "See you later, Luv."

As he walked away, they all let out a collective sigh. Richardson let go of Lee and the man immediately rushed over to Mattie and Molly. Pressing a kiss to his girlfriend's head, he reached out to pull Mattie into a hug.

"You okay, Sunshine?" He asked and she gripped him tightly as she shook her head.

"No." She whispered and then pulled away. Her eyes were glassy and she looked pale. "I think…I think I'm gonna…"

Letting go of Lee, Mattie bolted for the courtroom door with her hand over her mouth. Parker went to go after her but, reaching out to stop him, Molly shook her head.

"You can't go where she's going, buddy." She said, giving him a small sad smile. She cast a quick look to Carly, who placed a hand over her stomach and nodded, before slipping out of the bench and jogging after her.

"I fucking _hate_ that guy." Parker said, sitting down hard on the bench and glaring at the end of the courtroom where Turner was conferring to with his lawyer.

"Hey, careful." Carly admonished for his language, sitting down next to him and smoothing her hand over his hair.

Parker sighed loudly and shook his head. "I'm sorry, but…_look_ at him! He didn't so much as glance at her when she ran off like that. He obviously doesn't give a rat's ass about Mattie so why does he want her back so badly?"

"Sometimes…" Jack said, having switched places with Emma so that he was now seated behind his son and Carly. "Sometimes it's more about possession and sticking it to the other person than love during a custody battle."

"And the judge will see that." Carly added reassuringly.

But when Parker looked at her, she could tell that he didn't believe her. Pressing a quick kiss to his forehead she exchanged a look with Jack and he gave her a weak smile, both knowing that they barely believed her words either.

But they didn't have any time to dwell on them as the bailiff suddenly stood.

"All rise, court is now in session. The honorable Judge Henry Miller presiding."

Everyone stood and watched as the judge took his seat and picked up the packet of court documents, reading over them slowly. After a minute or two, he looked up and nodded.

"Be seated."

They did, with Carly barely containing the sigh of relief as she placed a hand on her aching back. It was getting harder and harder for her to make those quick up and down movements. Not mention, she probably looked like a beached whale every time she tried, she thought she thought moodily. Shaking it off, she focused again on what the judge was saying.

"…today to hear the case of Turner versus Reynolds in regards to the custody of the minor known as Matilda Grace Williams."

"Your honor, if I may?"

Everyone looked at Turner's lawyer who stood and pulled his lapels down on his dark blue pin striped suit. He had black hair that was slicked back and he had a smarmy look on his face. If this had been a feature film, he would have been easy to pick out as one of the bad guys.

"Yes, Mr…" Judge Miller said, glancing down at the court papers and back up again. "Polk?"

"Your Honor, the original paperwork for Mr. Turner to release his parental rights was found to be erroneous and therefore Matilda's adoption is not legal in any sense. We would like to petition the court to have the child referred to as Matilda Grace Turner, during these proceedings, as it is her legal name."

"What?" Lee exclaimed loudly, but Richardson quickly shushed him.

"Pick your battles, Lee." His lawyer advised and even though a tiny part of him withered on the inside, Lee held his tongue.

The judge watched Lee carefully before nodding. "For the purpose and duration of this custody hearing, the child shall forthwith be known as Matilda Grace Turner on all transcripts and official documents."

Unfortunately, Molly and Mattie returned to the courtroom just as the judge was finishing his sentence.

"No!" Mattie cried out and all eyes flew to the shaking teen in the back of the room. The girl looked as if someone had knocked all the wind out of her and as Molly held her up, she prayed that the girl wouldn't throw up in the middle of the aisle.

"Matilda, I presume?" Judge Miller asked and slowly Mattie nodded. "Come forward, child."

Clinging to Molly like she was her salvation, Mattie stepped forward, trying to stop the flow of tears that started down her cheeks.

"My ruling just now is only in reference to what you will be called during this hearing. It does not mean that it is my official ruling as to who has custody or that it gives Mr. Turner any sort of advantage over Dr. Reynolds. It is just a legal technicality that comes with the job. Do you understand?" Judge Miller said, his eyes not unkind as he explained what had just happened. He smiled gently at her, as Mattie took in a shaky deep breath and nodded back. "Good. Now, I'm going to have to ask that if you are going to stay in this courtroom, you are going to have to control yourself and any outbursts that you might have. Can you do that?"

"Yes." Mattie said, quietly. She cleared her throat and then wiping the tears off her cheeks, she lifted her chin determinedly. "Yes, your Honor."

"Good, have a seat and let's get on with today's proceedings." Judge Miller said and Molly slid in to sit next to Carly, letting Mattie squeeze in between her and Parker.

Opening arguments were quick and to the point, both lawyers stating the basics of what they would be arguing over the course of the week; Turner's biological right as a parent versus Lee's emotional right.

"Mr. Polk, call your first witness." Judge Miller said, after jotting down some notes on a legal pad after their statements.

"I'd like to call Mr. Christopher Turner to the stand." Polk said and after Turner had reached the witness box, the bailiff made the customary motions of swearing him in.

"Mr. Turner, you were quite young when you met Matilda's mother, weren't you?" Polk asked and Chris nodded.

"Lisa had turned 17 the week before and I was just about to turn 18."

"How would you describe your courtship of Lisa Reynolds?"

"Between us, it was great. Lise and I loved each other at first sight. But her dad and brother made it difficult for us." Turner said.

"How so?"

"Well, I would go to take her out and she would be grounded for no reason at all. I would call the house and they would say she wasn't home even though I could hear her in the background."

"Why do you think they did that?"

"They didn't like me. I guess they thought I was beneath them because I didn't come from a better background." Turner said, his eyes flickering to Lee with what was an obvious look of disgust.

"Objection, your Honor. Speculation!" Richardson said and Polk shook his head.

"This is the way my client felt around Dr. Reynolds's family, your Honor. He can't help it if he felt belittled."

"Objection over ruled." Judge Miller said, but frowned. "Point made, Mr. Polk. Move on."

Polk nodded and sighed, leaning against the witness box railing. "What happened when you found out that Lisa was pregnant?"

"Her dad completely lost it. He threatened to kill me with a shotgun and then made Lisa decide to go with me or never see me again."

"And what happened?"

"She loved me and we were gonna have a baby." Turner said, shrugging. "Lise chose me."

"Yeah and you beat the crap out of her!" Lee shouted, his chest heaving at even hearing his beloved little sister's name on the man's lips.

"Mr. Richardson, control your client!" Judge Miller shouted back, banging his gavel down angrily.

"I'm sorry, your Honor." Richardson said, pressing a calming hand on Lee's shoulder. He firmly whispered something in Lee's ear and Lee's took a deep breath, but other than looking like he wanted to strangle Chris, he stayed silent.

"Actually, let's touch on that." Polk said, his face turning insultingly pensive. "Is this true?"

Turner looked down at his lap and frowned. "Yes, unfortunately it is."

When he looked up again, Turner's face was contrite but there was an element of something underneath that made Carly frown. If anything, his face was too apologetic, if that made sense.

"You have to understand, we were so young and I didn't know how to handle everything. All I had ever been taught was to be physical when emotions became too much. It was how my dad raised me and even though I know it's not an excuse, I…did what I had seen all my life."

"What happened on May 16th, 1994?" Polk asked.

"It was the day that I'll regret until I die. I had come from a really bad job interview and was so upset that I just reacted when Matilda started crying. I didn't mean to hit her, I swear I didn't. But Lisa wouldn't listen to me. She just kept screaming at me and then took Matilda and left." Chris said, his eyes tearing up and he turned to look at the judge and he shook his head. "That was the day I realized that I needed to get my life together. I found them a couple months later at her dad's house and when I asked to see them, her brother started to beat me up."

"Unprovoked?" Polk clarified and Turner nodded.

"I just wanted to see my kid."

Lee looked like he was going to open his mouth again, but Richardson clamped his hand down on Lee's shoulder. He knew that Turner was lying and they would have their chance to prove it upon cross-examination. Richardson just shook his head slowly and Lee let out a deep breath, running a frustrated hand through his thick brown hair. He hated that Turner was lying through his teeth on the stand but he had to trust that his lawyer knew what was best.

"Why did you end up leaving the fight?" Polk asked and Turner sighed.

"Lisa was begging us to stop and that's when I looked up to see Mattie in the window. I knew I didn't want her to see me like that, so I left."

"What happened then?"

"I got myself into a six month anger management program and after treatment I found a good job and went to go get my family back." Turner said.

"And what did you find?"

"I went to her dad's house one day, about a year later, and there was Matilda, sitting on the steps waiting. It was almost as if she knew I was going to be there. I was about to get out the car when I saw this guy pull up to the house. She jumped up and ran into his arms. I heard her call him Daddy."

Turner looked at Mattie who frowned and looked away, causing Parker to glare at him and wrap his arm around his girlfriend. Why should she feel guilty for loving the man who, to her, had been her father?

"So that's why you gave up your parental rights?" Polk asked and Turned focused on him again.

"Yes, I figured that if she was happy with him, I wasn't going to disrupt her life. I had to do what was best for my daughter."

"So why do want custody now?" Polk asked, sneaking a glance at the judge to make sure that he was paying attention.

"When I found out about what happened with her mom and everything, I went to find her. But by then Lee had taken her to Sydney and then out of the country. Even Lisa wouldn't tell me where she was!" Chris said and Lee's eyes widened at the thought that Turner had gone to see Lisa and she hadn't told him. "I figured that she is old enough to know that people change and I want a chance to get to know my daughter. It's bad enough that it took me over a year to track her down."

"What makes you think you can provide a better life for her than Dr. Reynolds's can?" Polk asked and Chris narrowed his eyes.

"While Matilda has settled here for a while, Australia is still her real home. It's where she was born and I think she deserves a chance to finish growing up there. Plus, I have a 9 to 5 job waiting for me back in Australia with a well known construction company that is actually headquartered in the United States. I know that Lee has a better job with more money, but can he say that he is there half the time when Matilda gets home from school? I don't want my teenaged daughter left alone in a house for all crazy hours. I even found out that he lets that boyfriend of hers come over and stay with them sometimes, even if he is not there! But then again, he got one woman pregnant and is already dating someone else. How do I know that he won't impregnate this woman and then drop her and go find someone else?"

"Objection, your Honor! Slander!" Richardson jumped to his feet, his face showing his shock that Turner had been allowed to even start his rant.

"Objection sustained." Judge Miller said and sent Chris a look. "Please calm down, Mr. Turner."

"I'm sorry, your Honor, it's just…" Turner said, shaking his head with an overly displayed look of horror. "Is that any kind of role model for a sixteen year old girl? While I understand that Lee might love my daughter very much, I just wonder if he's cut out to be a father to her in these difficult years."

"That's not true!" Molly said, jumping to her feet. "Lee is a perfect gentleman and a great father!"

All eyes swung to the brunette who was now standing in the middle of the public gallery, glaring daggers at the man in the witness box.

Molly recognized her mistake the second she stood up, but she couldn't just sit there and let that man torpedo Lee's reputation like that. She knew that she had to help him but for the life of her, as she shifted on her feet nervously, she realized that she didn't have a clue as to how.

Not a moment later the judge gave her the opportunity she was looking for as he banged the gavel for attention and pointed a finger at her, his face stern.

"Who are you, young lady, and why are you disrupting this court?"

Molly froze, her mind going a million miles per hour as she tried to think of something to say; anything to say. When the idea came into her head, Molly knew it was insane and hesitated until she glanced down the row to where Carly sat. She was looking at her, with one eyebrow perfectly arched in expectation. That special bond they had was working full steam, because by the surprised yet resigned expression on her cousin's face she seemed to somehow know exactly what Molly was about to do. Carly gave a nearly imperceptible nod of encouragement and gathering a deep breath Molly smiled reassuringly at her before lifting her chin proudly.

"My name is Molly Conlan, your Honor."

Judge Miller made a face that clearly stated for her to elaborate and Molly briefly threw a look in Lee's direction before refocusing on the judge.

"I'm Dr. Reynolds's fiancée."

Silence filled the courtroom for a moment before pandemonium broke out. Turner and his lawyer began shouting; as the judge continued to bring his gavel down to maintain order. In the chaos, Molly found that something was nudging her in the side and she looked down to see Carly push something into her left hand. Opening it slightly, her eyes widened at the sight of a diamond and sapphire ring gleaming back at her. She looked quickly at Carly, her eyes asking a silent question. But Carly shook her head and her eyes flitted behind her in Lily's direction. Molly looked at Lily in surprise, but Lily just winked and then carefully turned her face back into a look of fake surprise and confusion like everyone else's in the courtroom.

"Ms. Conlan?"

Molly looked up at the sound of her name being called and she noticed that Turner was now sitting back down at the prosecuting table and the bailiff was standing by their bench.

"Yes, your Honor?"

"Would you please follow the court's request and take the witness stand?"

She could tell by his tone of voice that the "request" wasn't really a "request" at all and nodding, she made her way to the witness stand. Just before she turned to face the courtroom, Molly stealthily slid the ring on her finger and when asked to place her left hand on the bible, it was there for all to see.

After being sworn in, Polk wasted no time in getting to the heart of things.

"When did this _convenient_ engagement happen, Ms. Conlan?" Polk asked, sneering at her.

"Lee and I have talked about it for a while, but with this custody issue, we didn't want anyone to think that we were only getting engaged because of it." Molly said, nicely side-stepping the original question. She instead looked at Lee and he grinned, his eyes giving her all the proof she needed that he was behind her 100 percent. It might not have been the way he would have proposed but, then again, their relationship hadn't been normal since they started dating.

'I love you.' He mouthed and she grinned, before focusing again on a furious looking Polk.

"And we're just supposed to believe that isn't the reason now? By all accounts, you've only been dating the man for less than four months." Polk scoffed. Richardson looked like he was going object but Molly spoke before he could open his mouth.

"But we've known each other for almost a year. Besides, despite what_ you_ might think, Mr. Polk, love doesn't have a set time table." Molly said, her blue eyes shining. "Lee, Mattie, and I are already a family in every sense of the word. We are just going make it legal when this is all over."

"But you hardly know Mattie. She's only been staying with you for a few months!" Polk tried to interject and Molly glared at him.

"Oh yes, I do! I know that while she loves to get under the hood of those old muscle cars, if you show her something pink and sparkly, she goes crazy. I know that unless she has work, you better not wake her up before nine-thirty in the morning or be prepared for the consequences. I know that she loves Coco Puffs but hates Coco Krispies. She says that she loves horror movies, but will only watch them with her face buried in a pillow or on Parker's shoulder. I know that despite the fact that she can barely boil water, she somehow makes a mean Western omelet."

Molly's hands gripped the railing of the witness box, the diamond ring on her left hand blazing in the courtroom lights as if every word she was saying made it shine brighter.

"I know that she likes to fall asleep to the sound of the ocean and that sometimes early mornings are the best time to gather your thoughts." Molly said and her eyes found Mattie's face.

The girl had silent tears flowing down her cheeks and a smile on her lips. Molly returned that smile with a loving one of her own and looked back to Polk, who in contrast, looked as if he was about to explode with rage and frustration.

"I love Mattie and I want what's best for her. We all do. That's why we are here today. And I know, in my heart, that what's best for Mattie is for her to remain here in Oakdale, with Lee and I, in the home that _we_ can provide for her."

Molly looked at Turner and then back to Polk, her eyes fierce. "Can your client honestly look at the family we've created here and say the best thing would be to take her away from us?"

"Objection, your Honor!" Polk said and Judge Miller raised his eyebrow.

"She's your own witness, Mr. Polk."

Polk scowled and waved a hand in the air. "No further questions."

"Your witness, Mr. Richardson." Judge Miller said and Richardson stood, barely able to contain the grin on his face.

"No questions at this time, your Honor. But we retain the right to recall the witness."

"Very well then. We'll take a ten minute recess and then, Mr. Polk, you need to call _your_ next witness." Judge Miller said and banged the gavel down hard.

After sending Molly and Mattie a wink, Lee leaned over to confer with Richardson about what had just happened.

Mattie turned to Molly and hugged her tightly. "Even if this doesn't work out, I will never ever forget what you did for me today."

"So I take it, you're okay with it?" Molly asked and Mattie just hugged her harder.

"Of course I am! You don't even have to ask. I just…I really hope that you didn't rush anything because of me."

"Mattie, what I said up on that witness stand was true. Your uncle and I _have_ talked about it before. We just didn't think it would happen quite this soon or this way." Molly said and pulled back. "So no worries."

Mattie laughed and wiped a tear from her cheek. "You already sound Aussie-fied."

"What can I say? I've got two great reasons to love the 'land down under'."

Molly turned and began to tug the ring off of her finger to give it back to Lily, but the other woman reached out to stop her.

"Keep it," Lily said and then catching the disbelieving look from her husband, rolled her eyes. "_For now_. When this is all over you and Lee can pick out a real one to replace it."

"Lily, I…" Molly started to say, also looking at Holden, but Lily waved her off.

"It wasn't one of my favorites anyway."

Holden made a noise in his throat but smiled down at Molly and nodded as he pulled his wife back into his embrace.

"Well, one witness down today and one more to go, right?" Emma said, brining their attention back to the fact that the day wasn't over yet. They all frowned and looked around.

"Do we know who it is?" Jack asked, his eyes darting from one person to another.

"Yeah."

Carly spoke up and when all eyes turned to her, she gave them a small shaky smile.

"Me."

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**On The Next Chapter of True North:**  
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"Ms. Tenney, do I have to remind you that you are still under oath?" Polk said and moved swiftly towards her. "Was your cousin engaged to the father of your child before today in this courtroom?"

At his words, Carly's eyes were brought back to Mattie's innocent face and the obvious fear she wore that she was going to ripped away from the only family she had left. In that moment, Carly knew what she had to do and just prayed silently that they would all forgive her when it was done.

"No, she wasn't." Carly said softly and everyone gasped quietly. Polk started to walk away, an ugly sneer of satisfaction on his face. But Carly's words stopped him in his tracks.

"Because Dr. Reynolds isn't the father of my baby."

TBC


	53. Some Things Cannot Be Hidden For Long

**Author's Note: Hi everyone! Short note today to go along with, what I'm afraid is, a short chapter. This and the next one were originally one chapter but I decided to split it. It just worked better creatively. I hope you are enjoying my "May Sweeps" event. Love everyone who has been sending reviews! You really are making a difference :)  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth."  
__- Buddha  
_************************************************************************

Upon resuming court, there was no time for any sort of defensive preparation as Polk stood up from the prosecution table.

"We'd like to call Ms. Carly Tenney to the stand." Polk said, looking over his shoulder at Carly with a gleam in his eye that made her very nervous.

"Your Honor, we have to object to this. Ms. Tenney is in the third trimester of her pregnancy with a high volatile condition known as pre-eclampsia. She cannot be subjected to any unnecessary stress." Richardson staid standing and placing his palms on the table firmly.

Judge Miller glanced down at the papers in front of him and then back up. "Is this the woman who is carrying Dr. Reynolds's child?"

"Yes, your Honor." Polk said before anyone else could speak.

The judge looked closely at Carly and then frowned, shaking his head slightly.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have allow it." Judge Miller said but sent a look to the other lawyer. "But tread lightly, Mr. Polk."

Then looking back to Carly he motioned to the seat next to him.

"Ms. Tenney, please take the stand."

Carly felt Molly squeeze her hand and she looked over at her. Her eyes traveled down the row from Mattie and Parker's troubled faces to the same looks from her friends. Then they landed on Jack who very subtly sent her a wink and smile.

Even though it immediately calmed her nerves, Carly wanted to cry at his sign of support. Especially when she felt that deep down she didn't deserve it.

Once Carly was standing in the witness box and had been sworn in, she gently lowered herself in the chair.

"How are you feeling today, Carly? May I call you Carly?" Polk asked as he rose from his seat.

"Can I say no?" She asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Polk frowned and looked at Judge Miller, who tried to hide a smile.

"Ms. Tenney, try to be a little less…surly." Judge Miller said and Carly nodded.

"Yes, your Honor. I'm sorry." Carly said and gave him a tiny smile. Then she twisted back to Polk and the smile turned into a small defiant stare.

In the public gallery section of the courtroom, Parker turned around slightly to motion to his dad over his shoulder. Jack tore his eyes away from the scene for a moment and Parker gestured to the witness area where his mom sat fuming.

"The way Mom is looking at him, I hope this guy has someone to walk him to his car tonight." Parker whispered and Jack bit back a smile, shushing him. Then he nudged J.J. when the younger teenaged boy tried unsucessfully to cover his laugh with a loud cough.

Since they were surrounded by their friends and family, they had all heard Parker's comment and small snickers had escaped several of them, including Emma. At the noise, the judge banged his gavel quietly and they all stiffened up, sending apologetic looks his way.

Polk made a noise in his throat and then continued.

"So, Carly, how are you feeling today?" Polk asked again, ignoring the glare since he was used to getting them in his career.

"I've been better." Carly said shortly.

"It must have been hard out in L.A.; creating your own fashion line, being pregnant, _and _taking care of four kids." Polk said, glancing down at his notes.

"We were doing just fine. Molly was there when I couldn't be and Lee came out every weekend. It was only a summer thing anyway." Carly said and Polk's eyes went to her face.

"For now. But I understand that your line is creating a lot of buzz already. What happens if you get asked to stay out there? Then Dr. Reynolds would have to continue flying out to visit the child that you're carrying extremely often, either dragging Matilda with him or leaving her behind."

"I'm not staying in L.A." Carly said firmly, her jaw ticking at Polk's insinuations that either she or Lee would neglect Mattie.

"Really? Isn't it your dream to have your own fashion line? I mean, you did work at Barbara Ryan Originals several times over to try and get your career started. Sadly, it didn't work out then, but now you have a great opportunity. Are you saying that you are willing to give that up to stay here in Oakdale?" Polk asked, his eyes wide in artificial surprise.

"My children come first and their home…_our _home is in Oakdale." Carly said, and shook her head. "Besides, I am co-owner of a very lucrative business in Oakdale."

"Ah, yes, Club Metro. Isn't it true that you and Dr. Reynolds took Matilda there for a New Year's Eve party when she was only 15?" Polk said, frowning at her.

"It was birthday party for my son! There was no alcohol in their area and they were monitored very closely the whole night." Carly said and she felt her blood pressure rising. Taking a deep breath she tried to calm herself down, placing a hand over her stomach protectively. She couldn't afford to let this man rile her up.

"Ah, so _you_ say. But isn't it also true that a…" Polk looked down at his notes again and then back up to Carly's face. "…James Morris got drunk at that same party?"

"What?" Carly exclaimed at the accusation. Then thinking back she just rolled her eyes. "Oh, for God's sake. Jimmy Morris is an annoying little twerp who grabbed a Jello shot as he was leaving the club with his parents. The bouncer and I caught him and his parents grounded him for three weeks."

Polk frowned, re-reading his notations. He now saw that his "source" was really just a boy who had snitched as a way to get back at Carly for getting him in trouble. Kicking himself mentally for not checking the story out better, he forced himself to move on.

"This birthday party was for your son? Is this the same son that Matilda is now dating?" Polk asked and Carly frowned.

"Yes, my oldest son, Parker."

"So, let me get this straight. You were dating Dr. Reynolds, became pregnant, broke up with him, set him up with your cousin who he's now engaged to, and Matilda is dating your son? I've heard of things being kept in the family but isn't that all just a little much, Ms. Tenney?"

"I don't…" She started to say, bristling at his mocking tone, but Polk kept going.

"How normal do you think your son is going to feel when his new sibling is also his girlfriend's cousin? Wasn't it true that he had a hard enough time adjusting last year when his father was engaged to the mother of his previous girlfriend, who was also _his_ cousin by the way?"

"She was only his cousin by marriage on his adoptive father's side." Carly said, her hands balling into fists at her sides. "And you know what? You can just leave my son alone; he's fine."

Jack and Lee noticed her aggravation at the same time and just as Jack tapped Lee on the shoulder the doctor nudged his own lawyer.

"Your Honor, I object. The past non marriage of Parker Snyder's father has no bearing on the custody case at hand." Richardson said, standing and looking at Polk like he was crazy.

"It goes to emotional well being of my client's daughter, your Honor." Polk said and Judge Miller frowned.

"Maybe on another planet it does, but not here in my court room. Objection sustained. Move on, Mr. Polk." Judge Miller said leaning forward to cross his arms over his desk.

"Yes, your Honor." Polk said and paced a moment before turning to Carly again. "Ms. Tenney, are you sure you're okay with Ms. Conlan marrying Dr. Reynolds?"

"What? Of course I am. They're very happy together." Carly said, startled by the new line of questions.

"Please, Carly. You're telling this court that you are okay with your _cousin_ marrying the man who is the father of your child? The man who abandoned you when you were barely pregnant and fell in love with your cousin instead?"

"Lee didn't abandon anyone! It was a mutual decision and I'm glad that Molly and Lee found each other. In fact, I encouraged it!" Carly said, shaking her head.

"If this was a mutual decision, then why was even your _ex-husband_ under the impression until a few days ago that you were still with the good doctor?" Polk asked and Carly's eyes darted to look over at Jack before swinging back to the lawyer.

"I, uh…" Carly started to say, but found herself, instead, wondering how he had obtained his information.

"I find it hard to believe that you would perpetuate this charade unless there is something for you to hide." Polk said, tapping the side of his chin.

"No, we…" Carly tried to talk again but Polk cut her off.

"Is it because you were jealous of Dr. Reynolds and Ms. Conlan or because they really weren't ever engaged?" Polk said and Carly glared at him.

"I wasn't jealous." Carly said firmly.

"So they weren't engaged?" Polk jumped in and Carly shook her head again, glancing the way of her friends and family once more.

"No, that's not… what I mean is yes but…" Carly tried to get her thoughts together but all she could see was Jack's confused face looking back at her.

Carly looked away and towards the rest of the group. Parker, J.J., and Mattie were wearing matching worried frowns while Lee and Molly shared the same mixture of concern and fear as to where this line of questioning was going. Even Lily, Holden, and Emma were biting their lips in apprehension.

"Ms. Tenney, do I have to remind you that you are still under oath?" Polk said and moved swiftly towards her. "Was your cousin engaged to the father of your child before today in this courtroom?"

At his words, Carly's eyes were brought back to Mattie's innocent face and the obvious fear she wore that she was going to ripped away from the only family she had left. In that moment, Carly knew what she had to do and just prayed silently that they would all forgive her when it was done.

"No, she wasn't." Carly said softly and everyone gasped quietly. Polk started to walk away, an ugly sneer of satisfaction on his face. But Carly's words stopped him in his tracks.

"Because Dr. Reynolds isn't the father of my baby."

A person could have heard a pin drop in the following silence that reigned in the courtroom and Polk turned on his heel to stare at Carly.

"Would repeat that please, Ms. Tenney?"

Carly drew a deep breath and stared into his face.

"Lee is not the father of this baby."

"Then who is? Again, I remind you that you're under oath." Polk asked and the gleam was back in his eye.

"My ex-husband, Jack Snyder." Carly said slowly, looking down and twisting her hands in her lap.

It was the moment she had been both longing for and dreading for seven long months and now that it was here all Carly could do was wait for the inevitable fallout.

She didn't have to wait long.

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"Jack Snyder is the most amazing father I have ever seen. He loves our kids more than his own life. Where the hell do you get off suggesting that he would ever hurt them?"

"Well, obviously he's not that amazing if you felt you couldn't tell him that he was going to be a father to_ this_ child!" Polk said and Richardson stood up.

"Objection, your Honor. He's badgering the witness."

Judge Miller looked at Carly a moment before shaking his head. "I'll allow it."

"So how come, Ms. Tenney, if Detective Snyder is so great, did you hide your baby's paternity?" Polk asked forcefully.

Carly shook her head and it tore her up inside to know that at that same moment, Jack was probably thinking the same question. All she could was answer it as honestly as she knew how and pray that he would understand.

TBC


	54. When In Love You Have Everything To Lose

**Author's Note: Can you believe that this crazy story that started as a dream, is now over 400 pages long on my computer? I have never done _anything_ like that before in my life and I have to say that, without your continued support, I don't know if I'd still have the strength. And,**** because you guys are just _that_ amazing, I'm posting this chapter within 12 hours after the last one!**

**Also, this is the last chapter the 10 review rule applys to (no yelling at me Allie! ;-) LOL) but don't worry, I'll still update relatively quickly. However, reviews are still very very appreciated and needed! Also, due to the plotline I can't do previews for the next few chapters without giving stuff away. I hope you understand! :)**

**Now, as always: love, laughter, and good reading. Enjoy!****  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Every man is afraid of something. That's how you know he's in love with you; when he is afraid of losing you."  
__~Unknown  
_************************************************************************

There was complete silence for a moment or two following Carly's revelation.

After taking several deep breaths, Carly finally dared to look over at the people on Lee's side of the courtroom and inwardly winced as she took in their stunned faces.

Well, some faces were stunned. Lily, J.J., Parker, Mattie, Molly and Lee all wore similar grim expressions. It suddenly occurred to her that many people actually had known the truth and had only kept it to themselves for so long for her and the baby's sake. She felt an immense wave of love for them sweep over her and she blinked back tears of gratitude.

Carly's eyes traveled to Jack but she looked away again immediately at the powerful gaze he was sending back. There were so many emotions that she could see on his face, that picking just one out was impossible; not to mention she was more than a little ashamed and nervous to try.

"Your ex-husband is the father." Mitchell Polk reiterated slowly, shaking his head as if to display disapproval. "But you lied and said that Dr. Reynolds was the father of your child?"

"No, I didn't." Carly heard herself say and after a moment realized it was true.

Not once had she referred to Lee as the father of her baby in the entire seven months that she had known she was pregnant. While people had _assumed_ that Lee was the father, she had neither confirmed nor denied and, surprisingly, no one had ever really asked the question of paternity point blank.

"Ms. Tenney, lying on the stand is a punishable offence." Polk said, his eyes wide at her audacity.

"Mr. Polk, during my entire pregnancy I have never said out loud that Lee was the father." Carly said and the veracity of her statement shone in her eyes and in her tone.

"Then why did everyone think that he was the father?" Polk asked, gesturing to the still shocked faces of her friends and family in the courtroom.

"I am not responsible for what anyone else thinks."

Polk took a deep breath and tried to reign in his anger towards the current witness.

"What about Dr. Reynolds? Didn't he say that he was the father of your baby?"

"How am I supposed to know what Lee said or not? You'd have to ask him." Carly said and Polk clenched his fists.

"Your Honor, a little help, please." He said, his voice not unlike a child who wasn't getting their way.

"Ms. Tenney, I don't want to have to remind you again to cooperate. If you don't, I am going to have to hold you in contempt of court." Judge Miller said, looking down at Carly sternly.

"Yes, sir. I'm sorry." Carly said, forcing herself to curb her natural sarcastic instinct. "In answer to your question, Mr. Polk, I never heard Lee actually say to anyone that he was the father of my baby when I was around."

"And when you weren't?" Polk asked, his frustration showing.

"Objection, Your Honor. How would Ms. Tenney know what my client said or didn't say if she wasn't there? And anything that she could say she was told secondhand would be hearsay." Richardson said, shooting a glance to Polk as if to admonish him for a such a stupid rookie mistake.

"Sustained." Judge Miller said, nodding and waved his hand to move Polk along.

The attorney nodded curtly before frowning at Carly.

"So what you're saying is, that even though you never said it directly, you and Dr. Reynolds let people assume that he was the father?"

Carly tried to think quickly but in the end there was only one honest answer.

"Yes."

"Including your ex-husband, because of all people, you especially didn't want him to know you were pregnant?" Polk said and Carly frowned at him. Before she could even open her mouth to answer Polk added, "Is it because you were afraid that Detective Snyder would hurt you?"

Of all the things that Polk could have said to dumbfound her, _that_ took the cake. Carly's mouth opened and closed a couple of times before she gathered her senses about her to reply.

"What in the he…? Jack is an incredible man. He would never _ever_ hurt me!" Carly said and felt the beginnings of aggravation build up at even the suggestion.

"Were you afraid he would hurt your child?" Polk said casually.

"Of course not! What the hell is wrong with you?" Carly looked at him in astonishment and felt her blood begin to boil. The way he was trying to paint Jack made her want to take a flying leap at the man and beat him senseless, 8 months pregnant or not.

"Jack Snyder is the most amazing father I have ever seen. He loves our kids more than his own life. Where the hell do you get off suggesting that he would ever hurt them?"

"Well, obviously he's not that amazing if you felt that you couldn't tell him that he was going to be a father to _this_ child!" Polk said and Richardson stood up.

"Objection, your Honor. He's badgering the witness."

Judge Miller looked at Carly a moment before shaking his head. "I'll allow it."

"So how come, Ms. Tenney, if Detective Snyder is so great, did you hide your baby's paternity?" Polk asked forcefully.

Carly shook her head and it tore her up inside to know that at that same moment, Jack was probably thinking the same question. All she could do was answer it as honestly as she knew how and pray that he would understand.

"It wasn't about what kind of man Jack is. He's a great father. It's just…certain things happened and when I left Oakdale I was…confused…and I needed time to think."

"So in order to give you time to '_think'_, Dr. Reynolds lied for you! He claimed another man's child just like he is doing right now in this court room!" Polk said, smacking his fist into the palm of his other hand, and Carly shook her head fiercely.

"No, Lee was trying to protect me!" Carly said loudly, reaching out to grip the railing of the witness box in front of her.

"Protect you? From what?" Polk asked, his beady eyes flashing. "I thought you said you weren't afraid of your ex-husband."

"It wasn't from Jack." Carly said, shaking her head. "It was from the pre-eclampsia. I had a really bad attack one day after something happened involving Jack and his ex-fiancée, which made me really upset. I almost lost the baby and when that happened Lee said I couldn't afford to be that stressed anymore so maybe it would be better if I got away for a while to figure everything out. In order to do that, I couldn't tell Jack what was going on so…"

Carly rambled on, trying to explain but Polk cut her off.

"…so you lied!" He exclaimed, finishing for her. "Were you ever going to tell the father of your child the truth?"

"Yes!" Carly yelled back but once again Polk just kept going before she could explain herself.

"Or were you going to keep this deception up and continue to drag _my_ client's daughter deeper into your lies?" Polk dug at her, his eyes gleaming like a hyena intent on a kill.

The frustration that had welled up inside of her, along with the raging hormones, caused Carly to begin to cry.

"Stop it! Of course I was going to tell Jack! Everything was so confusing and I didn't know what to do! Don't you understand? _I just needed time_!" Carly repeated and then suddenly everything in her view went fuzzy. Swaying slightly in her seat, Carly placed her head in her hands in an attempt to try to calm the dizziness.

"Stop him! She can't have this much stress!" Lee yelled, all of his doctoring instincts taking over.

At the tone of Lee's voice, Jack's eyes narrowed and he took in Carly's appearance. Her eyes were closed and she was very pale with a light sheen of sweat on her forehead. Jack stood quickly and leaned forward to grip the divider in front of him.

"Carly?" He asked, desperately wanting to go to her but holding back out of respect for the judge.

"Jack?" Carly said, hearing his voice as if her head was wrapped in cotton. She tried again to open her eyes, but the light in the courtroom was suddenly excruciatingly bright. "I…can't…catch…my breath, Jack."

"Ms. Tenney, are you alright?" Judge Miller asked and they all watched as Carly struggled to get to her feet.

Without warning, Carly doubled over and let out a loud cry of pain.

"Mom!" Parker and J.J.'s combined yell echoed through the courtroom and spurred everyone into action.

Jack was the fastest, as he wasted no time jumping over the divider of the courtroom while ignoring the yells from the bailiff and judge. He made it to the witness stand just in time to catch Carly when her knees buckled. As she sagged in his arms, he could feel her hot tears on his skin as she buried her face into the crook of his neck.

"I'm sorry, Jack. God, I'm…so…sorry. Forgive me. I just…wanted…to keep…our baby safe." Carly sobbed and any hard feelings towards her actions disappeared for the moment.

Deep in his heart he knew that she had done what she thought was right to protect their child. And as angry and confused as he was, only one thing mattered right then. Carly and their unborn child needed him and he was damned if he would let his family slip through his fingers again.

"It's okay, Baby. Everything's all right." Jack said and kissed her temple, even as she slumped lower in his arms. Carly smiled with difficulty against his chest and then let out another gasp of pain. Her arms encircled her stomach and Jack tightened his grip on her, holding her close to him as he also simultaneously tried to hold her up. "Lee? Lee get over here!"

His frantic call for the doctor wasn't needed because, by now, Lee had rushed over too and was taking Carly's pulse. Glancing down, Lee noticed a small pool at their feet that he immediately recognized to be blood tinged amniotic fluid.

"Dammit," Lee whispered and Jack's eyes flew to look down and then back at the doctor's face. Lee met his panicked stare for a moment before turning away to look for the bailiff.

"Get an ambulance here _now_!"

"No! Jack…it's…too early. She…can't come…now." Carly cried and clutched at him as another contraction hit, bringing with it a wave of dizziness.

"Carly, Luv, you have to try and stay calm." Lee said, frowning as her pulse jumped under his fingertips.

Thankfully it was only a few minutes later that the courtroom doors opened and the EMTs piled in. Lee began giving them information as Jack held Carly's hand, whispering into her ear softly.

As the EMTs started to load Carly onto the gurney to wheel out, Lee paused by the others. Mattie flung herself into his arms and he kissed the top of her head.

"We'll see you there." Molly said, coming to stand by them, and Lee bent down to kiss her softly on the lips.

"Wait, your Honor. You can't just let him leave and take my client's daughter with him! The custody hearing isn't nearly resolved yet and..." Polk started to say but Lee cut him off. Growling, he grabbed the annoying lawyer's lapels and pulled him so he was inches from Lee's face.

"_Do you not understand_? If I don't get this woman to a hospital now, we could lose her _and_ the baby! Carly is more a part of our family then that man will _ever_ be. So I _am_ going to the hospital and Mattie_ is_ going to meet us there with my fiancée, got it?"

"Your Honor!" Polk squeaked out but Lee let him go with a tiny shove and then pivoted on his heel. Polk turned an incredulous face to Judge Miller who just shrugged.

"I didn't see a thing." The judge said, before banging his gavel to officially announce that court was over.

Mattie had let go of Lee when he went for Polk and immediately latched herself onto both Molly and Parker's hands. Now, along with J.J., Lily, Holden, and Emma, they all watched as the EMTs rushed Carly out the doors, with Jack holding her hand and Lee barking orders as he hurried behind them.

"Carly and the baby are going to be fine. You'll see." Emma said but as they hastened to the parking lot to follow the ambulance to the hospital, it was Lee's urgent words to Polk, not hers, that echoed in all of their minds.


	55. To Everything There Is A Season

**Author's Note: Hey guys, sorry if there was confusion about the whole 10 review thing. I am no longer holding you all to the whole "not posting until I get # of reviews" deal anymore. However, like I always say the more reviews, the faster the chapters go up. It's all up to you (hint hint) :)**

**FYI: To help prepare you for where my head was at, the songs that were on repeat while I wrote this chapter were _This Woman's Work by Kate Bush_ and _Lightening Crashes by Live_.  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_T__o everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under the sun. A time to be born and a time to die…"  
__-Ecclesiastes 3:1-2  
_************************************************************************

"Carly, you can't push yet! I know it hurts, but you gotta stop pushing, Luv!" Lee cried as he peered out the ambulance back window to gauge how close they were to the hospital.

"I can't! I have to…" Carly cried, shaking her head violently. Another contraction came and she bit down on her lip so hard that she drew blood, which Jack quickly wiped away with a gentle but trembling hand.

The labor pains were coming much too fast and the wiring in Carly's body was telling her that pushing the baby out was the only way to relieve that pain. Unfortunately, her body was wrong and every time she pushed, the danger of losing the baby grew. Lee's eyes flew to meet Jack's and he sent him a silent message.

_Calm her down, now!_

"Carly, baby, listen to me. You gotta stop being so stubborn and pay attention to Lee, okay?" Jack said, bringing Carly's hand up to his face to kiss her knuckles and leaning down close to her.

"Oh God, Jack, it hurts. Make it stop, _please_." Carly moaned, her voice catching, and her plea was chased by a sob. Jack closed his eyes briefly, pushing back the tears. He placed his forehead on hers and began to talk slowly.

"Hey, do you remember the day I proposed?" Jack asked and he could feel Carly frown as she tried to focus.

"Which…time?" She panted and he chuckled softly.

"The first time. It was so cold and you had on this short little dress and heels because you thought I was going to take you to a fancy restaurant and then dancing." Jack said. "You remember?"

"Of, course…I…remember." Carly said and her blue eyes looked accusingly into his. "You made me…climb…Mount Everest…instead."

Carly began to whimper as another contraction hit and Jack swallowed his panic, forcing himself to keep talking.

"Oh, it wasn't that bad. It was your prize for winning that bet we had; Carly's Prize. And I told you about that beautiful house I was going to build for you, me, and Parker. Do you remember?"

Carly nodded quickly and he felt her grip on his hand tighten. The excruciating pain she was feeling was written all over her face, but Jack could tell she was trying her best to concentrate on his words.

"Well, Beautiful, I've been thinking...that maybe we should build that house after all. Of course it's going to need a few more rooms than we originally planned but that's a good thing, right?" Jack said and Carly's eyes flew up to meet his.

"But Julia…" She said breathlessly and Jack shook his head.

"I got an estimate a few years ago from the guy who owns the land now. He says the damage wasn't as extensive as they first thought. It's a pretty good price too." Jack said and Carly's eyes watered, but at the same time she shook her head.

"No, Jack." Carly said and Jack looked at her quizzically. "I…love…Milltown. It's…_our_ house. I don't…want…any other…one. Okay?"

"Okay." Jack whispered back and pressed a kiss to her forehead, then her lips. "Okay, Baby."

"We're here!" Lee cried even as the ambulance came to a stop and the doors flew open.

As they rushed into the ER, Lee called out orders left and right.

"I've got a 37 year old woman with pre-eclampsia who is in pre-mature labor. She's only at 33 weeks so get the neo-natal unit down here and I want someone to find out how far away Dr. Adams from Midville Memorial is…_now_!"

"Jack, don't…leave…me!" Carly cried, tears flowing down her face as the gravity of the situation hit her again and Jack gripped her hand tighter.

"I'm not going anywhere, Carly._ Ever_. I swear!" He said firmly and gave a look to everyone around them that, in no uncertain terms, reinforced his point.

Jack kept his word even as they were rolled into an emergency OR room in case they needed to do a cesarean and as the nurses moved about to hook Carly up to several different monitors. The only time he let go of Carly's hand was when the nurses forced him to go wash his hands and put on a pair of scrubs. He changed so fast that he was still tying the pants when he made his way back to Carly's side like a magnet.

"Is…she…okay? Is my…our…baby okay?" Carly asked frantically and one of the nurses came over to place a gentle hand on Carly's arm.

"She's fine. Her heartbeat is a little fast but that's to be expected. It's you we need to worry about okay? I know it's hard, but you _have_ to stay calm."

Carly nodded and then as the fetal heart doppler was finally set up, Jack heard the sound of his baby's heartbeat for the first time. With tears in his eyes he looked down at Carly who was staring back up at him.

"Jack, I'm…sorry. I'm…so…sorry. I know…you're mad…" she started to say but he shook his head, pressing another kiss to her lips.

"_Mad_? Baby, mad doesn't even _begin_ to cover it." Jack chuckled dryly but then nuzzled his nose against her cheek before leaning back to look into her tear filled blue eyes. "But you know what? It's gonna be fine because we're gonna have plenty of time later to fight about it after she's born. Then we get to have a helluva lot of fun making up, okay? And we certainly know how to do that, don't we?"

Carly nodded, a small smile gracing her face. But almost instantaneously her face twisted into a mask of pain and she arched off the bed, unable to hold back a primal scream.

"Lee, help her!" Jack cried to the doctor who was furiously studying several different monitors. "Give her something!"

"I _can't_, Jack, this isn't my field of expertise. We need to wait for Dr. Adams." Lee said, sympathetically while trying to remain calm.

Truth was, despite him being Junior Chief of Medicine, as a close friend even Lee was ready to grab the nearest nurse and demand they help Carly with the amount of pain she was in.

"Well, then where the hell is he?" Jack demanded and even as the words left his mouth, the man in question burst through the doors.

Having been called immediately after the ambulance had started to Oakdale Memorial, Dr. Adams had gotten a police escort from Midville to Oakdale. Since he had gotten the preliminary information on the phone during the ride over, he wasted no more time before consulting with Lee and then checking on Carly.

"Should we prep for a C-section, doctor?" The same nurse from before asked but Dr. Adams frowned and shook his head. Pulling back from Carly he looked up at Lee.

"We don't have time. The contractions are too strong that even an IV of nifedipine isn't going to slow this labor down. She's completely effaced and the baby is already in the birth canal. I expect her to crown any minute now. We have to deliver her vaginally."

"Is the baby…strong…enough to…go through that?" Carly gasped out. Even though she was in more pain than she had ever been in her entire life, her protective maternal instincts were still in full force.

"We have one of the best neo-natal teams in the country, Carly, and your little girl is a fighter. We just need _you_ to hang in with us for a little while longer, okay?" Dr. Adams said and Carly nodded, squeezing Jack's hand tighter as she couldn't help but let out another scream.

Ten minutes later, Jack was the one trying not to yell as Carly threatened to break every bone in his hand with her grip.

"Good, that's good, Carly! Come on, gimme one more." Dr. Adams said and with a deep breath Carly pushed again. "Fabulous! I can see her."

Carly's head dropped back onto the bed and she tried to gather as much air as possible. For some reason she felt like there was a 5 ton weight on her chest and no matter what she did, she couldn't pull in enough oxygen.

"Come on, Carly, can't stop now. One big one on the next contraction and she's out, okay?" Lee said and glanced at the fetal heart monitor. If they didn't get the baby out with this last push, he didn't know if she would make it. With a discrete motion Lee coordinated the neo-natal team into standby positions.

"I know you can do this, Baby. You're Carly Tenney. You can do _anything_." Jack whispered in her ear and she turned her face towards his. He pressed a kiss to her forehead as she nodded slightly.

"Okay, one, two, three…_push_!" Dr. Adams said.

Summoning up strength from a place that ran deep inside all women since the beginning of time, Carly gave it all she had.

"That's it! She's out!" Dr. Adams cried and suction noises could be heard before he hurriedly passed the baby over to neo-natal.

The two doctors had been right in their speculation that the umbilical cord had been wrapped around the baby's neck, causing every contraction Carly had to pin it tighter to the vaginal walls and therefore cutting the air flow off to the baby. There was no way she would have survived another minute in the birth canal. Even now Dr. Adams exchanged a anxious look with Lee before jumping up and moving to the neo-natal unit.

"She's not…crying. Why can't…I hear…her…crying?" Carly asked, laying back against the bed and panting. A few seconds went by but to Jack and Carly they might as well have been days. Carly tried to sit up again and struggled against Jack's firm hand pushing her back down.

"Jack, why…isn't she…crying?"

Jack looked over at where they were bustling around his newborn daughter and tried desperately to see what was happening.

Suddenly a sound echoed through the room, not unlike a kitten's mewing. It might have been tiny but it was the most beautiful sound they had ever heard.

"She's okay. She was just being a little stubborn." The nurse called over and then a moment later she held up an impossibly small wiggling newborn.

"Oh God, baby, she's beautiful. She's so beautiful." Jack cried, tears streaming down his face as he placed his head down by Carly and kissed her temple.

"Emmy." Carly said and Jack looked at her.

"Emmy?" He repeated and she nodded.

"Emma Rose. After…the woman who…always knows…what to say, even when...you don't...want...to hear it. And…"

"...Rose; after your sister and Lily's." Jack finished for her, more touched that he could even begin to describe. He knew that Emma and Lily would be too.

As the nurses put Emmy in an incubator and wheeled her out of the room, Jack and Carly's eyes followed their every move. Lee spoke up and answered their unspoken question.

"They have to take her to the NICU, but you can visit her later okay? She looked to be a good weight so you can probably even hold her."

"You hear that, Honey? They're just gonna check her out and then we get to hold her." Jack said and looked down at Carly. He frowned at how surprisingly pale her face was. "Carly?"

"Jack, I don't…I don't feel…so good." Carly said and all of a sudden, monitors started to go off around the room.

"Carly?" Jack cried and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Carly, answer me."

"Jack?" Carly whispered softly.

Her eyelids had unexpectedly become very heavy and it took a great deal of effort to keep them open. Her heart was suddenly pounding and she was hit with a bout of dizziness that was worse then the one that had come with the labor. A deep innate panic set in and Carly struggled to focus her thoughts.

"Jack…promise me…okay? Promise…me…that you'll…take care of…our babies."

"Carly, stop it. Don't talk like that!" Jack commanded, all the while trying to push the alarm from his mind. He remembered the last time she had said those words, deep in a cave while he prayed that help would arrive in time. Jack wasn't about to stop and think about what it meant that she was saying them again.

Carly's eyes brilliant blue eyes traveled over his face intently, as if memorizing each detail. Then something instinctive inside of her told her that it was time to say the words she had held back for far too long.

"I love you, G-man. You need to know…I've _always_ loved you." Carly said, reaching up to touch his cheek gently. Her words were clear and steady which was distrubingly different from the breathless speech pattern from before. She gave him a soft secret smile before her eyes drifted closed, her hand dropped to hang by her side, and she went alarmingly still.

"Carly? Carly!" Jack said, shaking her shoulder more firmly this time. He shot a look down to the end of the bed where Dr. Adams was now working frantically.

"Damn! Someone get me 3 units of O negative blood, stat!" Dr. Adams yelled and a nurse bolted from the room faster than an Olympic runner. "And someone call Dr. Price from surgery and tell him we need him here now!"

"What's going on?" Jack asked and then he felt his stomach drop as Dr. Adams pulled away from Carly. It was brief movement but it was long enough for Jack to see what was causing the new flurry of activity.

The doctor's arms were soaked all the way up to his elbows in blood that was so dark red that it bordered on maroon.

_Carly's blood_.

"Oh, God. Oh, God, no." Jack repeated over and over. He leaned forward to press his nose to her cheek and picking up the hand that had moments ago caressed his face, he clung to it tightly. Closing his eyes in desperation, he felt the tears begin to slide down his face and into her curls as he whispered to her. "Come on, Baby, don't do this to me. Don't you do this to me! Wake up!"

As Jack listened to yet another alarm go off, he felt a terror rise inside of him that he had never felt before. Lifting his face from the comfort and familiarity of Carly's sweet smelling hair, he turned to the hectic doctors and nurses.

"Goddammit, somebody do something!" He yelled out.

Dr. Adams's eyes flew to him, as if suddenly remembering that he was there.

"For the love of God, someone get Mr. Snyder out of here! _Now!_"

"Come on, Jack. We need to leave, mate. They have to work on Carly and we can't be in the way."

Jack vaguely recognized Lee's accented voice in his ear as the other man pulled Jack's hand from Carly's limp one and turned him towards the doors. He let Lee start to guide him away but all of a sudden Carly's heart monitor made a sound that caused everything in Jack to go numb.

"She's flatling! Grab the crash cart! Let's go people, move faster! We're losing her!"

As Dr. Adams's words echoed inside the room, something deep and primal inside of Jack snapped. Taking a wild swing at Lee, he growled in anger. Lee managed to grab Jack's arms just before he tried to bolt back to Carly's side.

"Get the hell off of me!" Jack yelled and he began to attempt to make his way back to where Carly lay, more still than he had ever seen her. Her chest wasn't moving and he could tell that her color was far too pale.

"Carly! Carly! Dammit, Lee, let me go!"

Lee had somehow gotten Jack close enough to the OR doors that, using the force of his entire body weight, he could push him out into the hallway.

Everyone had followed them over from the court, with Abby bringing an insistent Sage with her to meet them there. But when Carly had been moved up to the emergency OR, there was strict rule about how many people could be in that specific area's waiting section. And so Molly and Holden had been elected to go while the others remained in the main waiting room down a few levels.

The two chosen adults had been pacing simultaneously but they both froze as Jack and Lee burst out through the double doors. Molly and Holden watched Lee try and hold Jack back from going back inside the OR especially when another set of doctors and nurses passed by to rush into the room.

As Jack's yelling continued several nurses started to come over to see what the commotion was, fully intent on lecturing about the noise. But upon seeing their Jr. Chief of Medicine, who was depserately trying to hold on to the source of the uproar, wave them off, they left as quickly as they came.

Holden could see that Lee was fighting a losing battle by himself and rushed forward to held grab his cousin's arms. Jack just began to struggle harder as his voice started to become hoarse from his screams.

"I said, let me go dammit! That's my wife in there! She needs me! Carly! _Carly!_" Jack yelled, not even recognizing what he had called her since deep down that was exactly what she was to him. Always had been and always would be.

She was his true north. They had a home together that would now be filled with them and their _four_ beautiful children. It's not that she wouldn't leave him, it was that she _couldn't_ leave him; it wasn't possible. They had proven this time and time again whether it was kidnapping attempts, car accidents, or false medical diagnoses. In the end, the result was the same and the meaning clear: neither one was meant to be on this earth without the other.

But then, in one fleeting moment outside of the OR room, something happened that Jack couldn't explain. Staring at the still swinging double doors, he suddenly stilled in his struggle against Lee and Holden. It was as if a switch had been flipped and he startled both of his captors with his sudden lack of resistance. But how could they know that as he stood there, in their strong grip, Jack suddenly felt an emptiness that had never been there before. Expelling a breath like he had been punched in the gut, he knew immediately what it was.

For the first time in his life since they had met, Jack couldn't feel Carly within his soul.

Wrenching his arms out of both Holden and Lee's grasp, Jack blindly stumbled backwards to the nearest wall. Trying desperately to take in some air, he slid down it with his back until he was sitting on the hospital floor. Drawing his knees up, Jack placed his head in his hands and stared straight ahead at the thick OR doors that might as well have been the gates of Hell.

Molly walked over to them and looked as though she wanted to reach out to Jack but she didn't. She was desperate to know what had just happened but at the same time, deep down, she knew she wouldn't be able to bear hearing Jack say the words that were clearly written on his face.

And so they stayed in silence until almost thirty minutes later, the sound of the OR doors opening drew everyone's attention.

Dr. Adams came out, dressed in his normal clothes which meant he had taken off his scrubs in the room. Lee's heart began to pound, knowing that it could only mean that the amount of blood on them had been severe enough to warrant the change.

The worn out looking man ran a hand through his thinning hair and stopping a few feet in front of Jack, he waited as Holden and Lee helped him to his feet. The doctor watched Jack shake them off; the detective's brown eyes were focused on him and him alone. After sharing a quick professional glance with Lee, he turned his attention on the man staring him down.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Snyder." Dr. Adams said, his voice raw and his eyes sympathetic.

Jack's entire body went cold and he vaguely heard the doctor's voice speak again through the fog that was now rolling into his brain.

"I'm so very sorry."


	56. Love Is Stronger Than Death

**Author's Note: *peeks around the corner* Hi guys...no hitting okay? :) Instead of doing a lot of talking I'm just gonna let you guys go read since you're probably already skipping this and thinking "blah blah blah...what happened to Carly?!?" Am I right? ;-)  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening,  
but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't  
take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death."  
__-Unknown  
_****************************************************************************************************************************************************

They all stared at Dr. Adams for a long moment; no one speaking for fear that it would cause him to repeat his horrific words once again.

"What do you mean, '_you're sorry'_?" Jack finally growled out, roughly wiping the tears from his cheeks with the heels of his hands.

"Jack…" Holden started to say but Jack whirled on him and jabbed his index finger into his cousin's chest.

"_Shut…up_, Holden! She's not dead, you got it? So just…shut up and let the doctor talk." Jack turned back to Dr. Adams, his eyes blazing as he repeated his previous statement. "She's _not_ dead."

Molly wandered over to Lee's side and he automatically wrapped his arms around her. He could feel her trembling and he wished that he could take away her fear for her cousin, but he knew that this feat wasn't possible.

Dr. Adams looked around at them then back to Jack, before he sighed and shook his head.

"No, she's not dead, Mr. Snyder."

Molly let out a small sob and Lee gathered her closer into his arms as they both whispered a prayer of thanks heavenward. Holden closed his eyes and clasped his cousin on the shoulder, a bow of his head displaying his own quick thanks to God. While Jack felt a small release of the fear deep inside he knew that Dr. Adams was waiting to tell them something and he knew it wasn't good.

"Then what the hell is going on with my wife?" Jack said and when Dr. Adams sent Lee and Holden a look, both men just shook their heads to let the marital title go.

Dr. Adams gestured for them to take a seat in the empty OR waiting area but when Jack stood firm, no one else made a move to go either. With another sigh, Dr. Adam's started to explain.

"Usually, in pre-eclampsia, delivering vaginally is the best way to go. And once we got the umbilical cord from around your daughter's neck it went really well. Due to her premature stage, she'll require a stay in the NICU. They can give you more information about what to expect when you go see her. However, all in all, she's a fighter and by my estimation should be there for a very short tenure considering the normal statistics." Dr. Adams said and Jack's heart fluttered at hearing how well his new daughter was doing. But a second later his mind had already jumped back to the newborn girl's mother.

"And Carly? What happened with Carly?" Jack demanded again, causing Dr. Adams' expression to become more solemn.

"At just under 5 pounds, the baby was small enough that there was no unnecessary stress or tears to her birth canal." The doctor said. "Unfortunately, sometimes, things develop after the birth and this is what happened in Carly's case."

"During the afterbirth delivery, it appears that the placenta tore away from the uterine wall instead of shedding naturally. This caused massive internal bleeding, known as post partum hemorrhaging. Thankfully we were able to extract the whole placenta but it wasn't in time to stop the enormous amount of blood loss. Now, you have to understand, that if a person has 30% amount of blood loss their body goes into shock, almost like a protective measure."

"So Carly needs more blood?" Jack asked, placing a hand on his head and trying desperately to stay patient as the doctor spouted off his medical information. Dr. Adams paused and then shook his head.

"It's…it's not that simple. We are giving her as much blood as we can; she's already on plasma. But she went into shock so quickly that she flat lined, unfortunately more than once. And while none of those times was enough to cut off significant oxygen flow to the brain, we had to use the defibrillator to try and bring her back which just added more stress to her severely traumatized body."

Jack shook his head and ran a hand through his own hair. His brain couldn't take anymore drawn out medical explanations of what went wrong. All Jack wanted to know now was what they were going to do to _fix it_.

"Enough. Just…tell me the bottom line."

"The bottom line, Mr. Snyder, is that Carly has slipped into a coma."

"A…a coma?" Molly couldn't help but gasp out. She immediately placed a hand over her mouth as if trying to stop anymore words from escaping and making the nightmare more real.

"For how long?" Jack asked, his jaw ticking as he ignored Molly.

"At this point we can't exactly be sure. The next 24 hours are critical…honestly very touch and go. We're going to continue to give her blood transfusions until her count is back up and then if that doesn't work we'll start to give her what's known as a 'coma cocktail'."

"What is that?" Jack asked, frowning.

"It's a combination of a vitamin called thiamin, glucose, and a substance called naxolene. It is just a common course of treatment for coma patients and nothing in the 'cocktail' will hurt Carly. We will also be monitoring her electrolyte balance and once she is stable enough, we will send her for an MRI to officially rule out any intracranial pressure."

"What happens if none of that helps?" Molly asked, still trying to wrap her brain around the fact that her beloved cousin was in a coma.

"Then we run more tests and adjust the medications as a result of what they can tell us." Dr. Adams said, softly.

"Wait…_what_? That's it? That's _all_ you can do?" Jack asked incredulously.

"Mr. Snyder, I can understand your frustration," Dr. Adams said, ignoring the undignified snort that Jack gave in response to that statement. "But we're honestly in one of the top medical hospitals in the country and I assure you that we are doing the best that we can in this position. Comas are not easy medical situations, but fortunately Carly's condition is more than likely caused by a reversible metabolic process and as soon as we figure it out, we will treat it accordingly."

"I know. I'm sorry." Jack said, breathing out a long sigh. "I just…feel so helpless."

"Look, we're going to move Carly into a private ICU room." Dr. Adams said, placing a friendly hand on Jack's arm. "While we're doing that, why don't you go up to NICU and say hello to your new daughter before heading down to tell your family the news about Carly. It'll be nice to give them some good information before you hit them with everything else."

"My daughter." Jack repeated, his voice filled with the awe that suddenly swept over him.

He was ashamed to admit that with the situation with Carly, the little girl that had just arrived had been pushed to the corner of his mind. But now the need to see her was immeasurable and he couldn't get to the NICU fast enough. As if sensing this, Lee nodded to Dr. Adams.

"Michael, I'll take Jack up to the NICU. After you get Carly situated could you please make sure that a nurse comes back here and lets Molly and Holden know the room number?"

The two adults of discussion nodded discretely to Lee to show him that they understood his unspoken instructions to stay where they were. They all knew that if Molly and Holden went down to the family now, one look at their faces would give away that something was wrong and Jack was the one who needed to break the news about Carly, especially to their children.

A few minutes later Jack found himself standing outside of the electronically sealed doors to the NICU. He looked questioningly at Lee when the man hung back.

"No." Lee said, shaking his head and smiling in answer to Jack's silent question. "Going in there is a Daddy's privilege."

"Lee…" Jack wanted to say more but found that no words could begin to express the amount of gratitude that he had towards the man who, he had a feeling, would become a very good friend. In the end, he simply stuck out his hand. "Thanks."

Lee grinned and accepted the gesture, placing his other hand on top of their grip.

"Go on, mate. Go say hi to your new baby girl." Lee said, nodding his chin in the direction of the NICU doors that were slowly opening with a loud buzzing noise. "I'll be right here when you get back."

Jack nodded too and then stepped forward into the NICU.

He stopped immediately, frozen in his tracks at the sight of several incubators surrounded by loud and overwhelmingly large machines. The tiny bodies inside the small plastic containers looked too small to be real and the amount of wires coming out of some of them, made Jack suddenly nauseous. He knew that the NICU was a serious place for a baby to end up, but he hadn't been even remotely prepared for this sight.

A woman who looked to be in her mid-to-late fifties with slightly graying brown hair noticed him and surveyed him with eagle eyes.

Nurse Helen Hudson was the supervising nurse of Oakdale Memorial's Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and she took her job incredibly seriously. The other doctors and nurses lovingly and respectfully called her the Baby Champion because no matter how dire the circumstances that an infant came in, Nurse Helen championed for them with the same level of intensity. For the parents that left the hospital with their children, she stood there waving proudly as they walked away and for the cases where the parents suffered the hardest loss they will ever face, she was right there mourning with them.

After assessing the situation she handed the chart she was holding to one of her underlings and walked over to where Jack stood.

"Can I help you?" She asked softly, letting her words sink in to the stranger's brain.

"I…uh…" Jack started, blinking as he looked around. His words caught in his throat as he noticed a mother, dressed in a white hospital gown, sitting in a rocking chair and holding a baby that could have fit in the palm of his hand. He swallowed hard and tried to focus on the nurse waiting patiently in front of him.

"My name is Jack Snyder. My daughter was brought here a little while ago."

Instantly Helen's eyes became warm and sympathetic. "Your daughter's name?"

"Emmy." Jack said instantly and then took another deep breath. "Emma Rose Snyder."

"Ah! The little rosebud." Helen said and Jack blinked quickly at her, his heart tripling in beat at the sound of Carly's nickname for Rosanna slipping off her tongue. It had to be a coincidence…right? But as a sudden warm feeling of comfort flowed over him, he wasn't so sure.

"Emmy's a beautiful little girl, Mr. Snyder." Helen said, utilizing the nickname that she had heard Jack use at first. Placing a gentle hand on his elbow she started to lead him through the room. "All the nurses are already completely in love with her."

Jack looked down at the petite woman holding on to his arm and then when he looked up again, he noticed that they were now standing in front of a small incubator. Inside lay a sleeping infant sprawled out with her tiny hands curled up into fists by her head, clad in an impossibly small diaper. The pale pink card taped on the outside read in bold black letters "Emma Rose Snyder; 4lbs 7ozs, 16 inches long".

Helen gently guided him closer to the incubator and began to speak in a low and soothing tone.

"Emmy is resting inside of a temperature controlled bassinet which will help keep her warm and protect her from outside germs until her system is more prepared. Because her lungs are not completely strong enough yet, she is getting help through the oxygen tube that is placed at the base of her nose. However, she has already made some progress and the doctors anticipate that, after some steroid treatments for her lungs to grow stronger, Emmy will be able to be placed on incremental doses of an oxygen mask within the next couple of weeks."

As Helen spoke she gently touched each piece of equipment and paused in case Jack wanted to ask a question. When she saw that he was taking in each piece of information, she continued.

"For the time being, Emmy is being fed through a tube but since babies generally develop the feeding reflex by the 35th week of gestation, we don't foresee that being a long term process either. Will Emmy's mother be coming here to pump breast milk for her?"

Helen looked up to see Jack's face twist in pain and he shook his head fiercely.

"No, she…she can't right now." Jack managed to get out. It occurred to him that this would be the first of her biological children that Carly wouldn't be able to breastfeed. He knew that the time she spent with her babies during the feeding process was almost sacred to her and something inside of Jack died a little knowing that she would be so upset to learn that she wouldn't have that with Emmy if she…_when_ she woke up.

"Jack," Helen said using his first name to bring him back to her. She saw the emotions flow across his face and wanted to tell him something. When he looked at her she smiled sympathetically. "It's okay."

Before he could speak, Helen gestured over her shoulder to a large metal door that looked to be a refrigerator.

"Oakdale Memorial is one of the first hospitals in America to employ the process of a breast milk bank. Mothers from all over the state have pre-pumped and donated their breast milk so that the initial nutrients that a mother would pass on to her infant in normal circumstances can still be given. It has surpassed everyone's expectations and helped many babies."

"That's…wonderful." Jack said, not able to find another word that could accurately describe how generous he thought those women were.

"Yes, we like to think so." Helen said, chuckling slightly. "But many many babies, once they leave here, are given formula and are just as happy and healthy. We'll have plenty of time to discuss all the options when everything is not so overwhelming."

"Um…" Jack paused, wanting to ask a question but realizing he hadn't even learned her name.

"My name is Helen Hudson, but you can just start calling me Helen. We're going to get to know each other very well, Jack, over the next few weeks."

Jack smiled and for the first time since he stepped foot in the NICU, he started to relax.

"Helen, can I…?" Jack gestured towards the Emmy and Helen grinned.

"You can't hold her just yet, but you can certainly introduce yourself."

After leading him over to a nearby sink to show him the proper technique to wash his hands, she took him back to the incubator and guided his hand inside.

At his touch, Emmy's entire little body jerked suddenly and he immediately went to pull his hand back, stiffening with fear that he had hurt her. But before he could move completely out, he felt Helen's hand pushing his arm back inside.

"It's a reflexive movement, Jack. You didn't hurt her. She looks more fragile than she really is, I promise. You won't hurt your daughter by touching her."

Jack frown displayed his obvious disbelief at her statement but did as she said. This time, when he touched the baby's chest, she didn't jerk only gave a tiny shuddering breath. Jack slowly traced his way down her smooth little torso and legs before moving back up to her arms.

"Hi, Emmy. It's Daddy." Jack said softly and as he said this he let his index finger slide down her right arm to her hand.

The tiny starfish like hand opened and then closed again around his finger and suddenly Jack found he couldn't stop smiling or crying.

"That's right, Angel. Daddy's here."

Ten minutes later the NICU doors reopened and having seen, firsthand, the miracles that lay beyond the doors, Lee couldn't blame Jack for the mixed look of awe and fear that he wore as he headed towards him.

"How is she, mate?" Lee asked and Jack sent him a smile.

"Absolutely gorgeous."

Lee grinned and clasped Jack on the shoulder. "Hey, with Carly as her mother was there ever any doubt?"

Jack laughed and shook his head. "No."

Lee laughed a moment with him and then taking a deep breath, looked at Jack with a serious expression.

"Are you ready to do this?"

Jack's smile slipped away and he shook his head.

"No," he replied honestly but straightened his shoulders. "But it's time to do it anyway."

Lee nodded and gestured to the elevators that would take them back down to where their friends and family waited below.

And chief among them were three children whose world was about to be torn apart once again and there was nothing either man could do about it.


	57. Denial Can Be The Fear of Losing Love

**Author's Note: Hi everyone! Having just watched the season finale of LOST, I need to focus my thoughts elsewhere or I just might go completely bat-shit insane. As it is, I have already taken 3 Advil and I will probably go lie down in a quiet corner and try to figure out WTF just happened on my televison. So I thought I'd post this next chapter before I am no longer functional.**

**But before I go, I just wanted to say that I know that when I write for Carly and Jack, I tend to lean more towards the dramatic, but it's mainly because I know that Maura West and Michael Park (not to mention the supporting players in our little couple's lives) tend to hit dramatic scenes out of the park. However, I know you are all anxious for some CarJack happiness and having caught a glimpse of the actual show today (trust me, I turned it _right_ off again) I can completely understand where you're coming from. Just wanted to say thanks for sticking with me this far and I hope, depsite the angst, you are still enjoying the journey.  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think.  
We do this because we're afraid. We fear we will not find love, and when we find it we fear we'll lose it.  
~Richard Bach  
_****************************************************************************************************************************************************

After a quick stop on the OR floor to pick up Molly and Holden, they traveled back down to the original ER waiting area. Since their group was the largest one there, they were relatively easy to spot as they headed in that direction.

"I just can't wait to find out her name." Sage's excited voice drifted to them. "Mommy and I are going to stencil it on the wall over the crib in the nursery and _I _get to pick the colors."

At the mention of Carly doing anything in the near future, Jack felt himself falter. But a steady hand landed on Jack's back, firmly guiding him forward. Glancing at his cousin, Jack's eyes spoke of how much Holden's gesture of support meant to him.

Everyone in the group spotted them at the same time, but Sage managed to rush forward and greet them first.

"Daddy! What's going on? Did Mommy have the baby?"

Jack reached out and pulled the excited girl into a hug, closing his eyes tightly as he pulled himself together. Sage wiggled in his embrace and looked up at him questioningly.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah, Princess." Jack said and led Sage back over to the group of chairs in the waiting area. His smile was genuine as he thought about the tiny baby that lay upstairs. "You have a brand new baby sister. She's 4 pounds and 7 ounces and she's absolutely beautiful."

Jack settled into a chair and pulled Sage down to sit on one leg of his lap. Running his hand over her hair, he looked up at Parker and J.J. too.

"Her name is Emma Rose, but your mom has already nicknamed her Emmy."

He looked over to Emma and Lily and saw immediately, by the tears in their eyes, that they got the significance of the baby's name. He nodded to them briefly before turning his attention back to his kids.

"Emmy." Sage repeated and then broke into a grin. "It's perfect. Can we go see her?"

"No, not today, Sweetie." Jack said, hating the crestfallen look that fell on her face. "Because she was born so early she has to stay in a special ward called the NICU. The head nurse up there is really nice and she said that you and your brothers can come tomorrow and she'll explain everything that's going on with Emmy. It's going to be a little scary because she is so small that she needs some help breathing and eating but overall the doctors say she's going to be fine in probably just a few weeks."

Sage frowned and looked up at Parker and J.J., who both wore similar expressions of worry. Jack smiled at them reassuringly, hugging Sage quickly.

"I promise. Emmy's going to be fine."

"Okay." Sage said slowly, but then brightened again. "Well, can we go say hi to Mommy then?"

At this Jack's eyes darted away and he forced himself to take a deep breath. J.J. and Parker saw this and exchanged a long look of intense anxiety.

"Dad, what's going on?" J.J. asked.

"Mom's okay, isn't she?" Parker added.

"Sit down guys." Jack said but both boys shook their heads and stood rooted to the floor, with stubborn expressions. Jack sighed but nodded before swallowing hard.

"Your mom…" Jack started but stopped again, trying desperately to gather his thoughts. The others moved closer; Holden had his arms around Lily and Emma while Lee was clutching Molly's hand. Mattie and Abigail were huddled together, though Mattie looked ready to go to Parker at any second.

Jack bowed his head a moment and then tried again.

"There was a complication after the baby was born and your mom lost a lot of blood. The doctors did everything they could but your mom's body was so tired that it just kinda…shut down."

"Shut…down?" J.J. repeated slowly and he trembled as he looked over at Parker.

"Is she…" Parker shook his head and balled his fists at his sides. "She's not…"

"No! No, she's not…" Jack hurried to reassure them and he held Sage closer. Again he tried several different phrases in his head first before concluding that there was no other way to say the news.

Taking a deep breath, Jack said, "Your mom has slipped into a coma."

The eerie feeling that Parker had been having ever since he figured something was going on with his mom back in January washed over him and he felt his entire body go numb. A small, delicate, but firm hand slipped into his and Parker could feel the love and strength that Mattie was sending to him. Holding onto her hand tightly, Parker anchored himself to her presence and used it to focus on his dad's words.

"A coma?" Sage said quietly, her voice small and afraid. "Like...Aunt Rosanna?"

"Yeah, sort of, Princess." Jack frowned and brushed a piece of her honey brown hair off of her face gently.

"But…Mom's gonna wake up soon?" J.J. said, making his question sound more like a statement until his confidence waned and he looked around at the others for support. "Right?"

Emma stepped forward and wrapped one arm around his shoulders gently. Leaning into her embrace, the teen allowed himself to be surrounded by her comforting presence.

"A coma?" Sage mumbled again and Jack looked at her carefully.

She was frowning and her eyes were unfocused, seeming to stare into a distance miles away. Jack was about to say something to her but Lee spoke up instead.

"Your mom's vitals are good and the doctors are replenishing her blood loss as we speak, which is the most likely cause of the coma." Lee said Molly stepped closer into his side.

"And if it's not?" Parker asked and Lee gave him an honest and open look that clearly showed he wished he had a better answer.

"Then we run tests and determine what is."

"So, Mom could wake up tomorrow and be fine or…she could not wake up at all, like Aunt Rosanna?" Parker said slowly.

Sage let out a small whimper and Jack hugged her tightly, but she stiffened in his embrace.

Jack turned a reproaching look to Parker but it immediately softened. He knew that his oldest son wasn't trying to be difficult. Parker was just trying to process all the information that he could.

"Yes, but we have to stay hopeful, Parker. Your mom is a fighter, you know that." Lee said and Parker gave him a weak smile. "Besides, as soon as she's settled we'll all take turns sitting with her and telling her to hurry up and come back to us."

"That's right!" Emma said, smiling tenderly. "I've read that talking to patients in comas sometimes helps bring them out of it sooner. Isn't that true, Lee?"

"Oh, yeah, definitely. There have been lots of studies done that say the coma patients can hear you and understand what you are saying to them." Lee said, nodding quickly. "Not only does it help stimulate the brain, but many people who come out of them say can repeat conversations word for word."

"So we'll just talk to your mom and tell her how much we love her and want her to wake up. Maybe even make a dare or bet with her…you know Carly can't resist those." Emma said, her voice joking but there was obvious love behind the words.

It was silent for a moment or two, until they were all suddenly aware of a small voice whispering. All eyes turned to Sage, whose lips were moving but her voice was so quiet they couldn't hear her properly.

"What, Princess?" Jack asked and leaned forward so that his ear was near her mouth.

"I wanna see my mom." Sage whispered and Jack realized that the young girl was trembling on his lap.

"Sage? Sweetie?" Jack asked carefully, placing a hand on her head.

"I wanna see my mom." Sage said, her voice rising as she stared blindly straight ahead, ignoring Jack. She shook her head fiercely, throwing off his touch and when he went to hug her, she shrugged out of his attempt to comfort her. She turned angry eyes to him and then Lee. "I said, I want to see my mom!"

"Sage, Luv, you can't. Not right now." Lee said, shaking his head sympathetically. "Maybe in a day or two…"

"No! Now!" Sage said and ignoring them all, she jumped up from Jack's lap and bolted for the nurse's station. Jack hurried after her, the others on his heels, and they reached the station in time to Sage getting more and more frustrated.

"Listen to me! Her name is Carly Tenney and I want to see her! You have to let me see her! I have to talk to her!" Sage was yelling at the nurse, who looked appropriately confused and sympathetic at the same time.

"Sage, baby, come here." Jack said and reached out for her, but Sage backed away from him. Her eyes were accusing and filled with tears.

"No! Get away from me! I don't want you! I want to talk to Mommy!" Sage said, her breathing starting to become erratic and Jack could see that she was barely holding it together. "They said we have to talk to her to make her wake up! So I wanna see my mom! Mommy will wake up we just…if _I_ just…"

Jack managed to grab a hold of one of her hands and held tight even as she tried to pull away.

"No! No! Let go!" She cried and inside the damn burst, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. "I want…I want…"

"I know, Baby. I know." Jack said and pulled her to him. Her struggle grew weaker and weaker until, finally, she was in his arms. He lifted her up and cradled her as she wrapped her arms around him and sobbed into his neck.

He carried her over to the group of waiting room chairs and sat down, holding her close, tears streaming down his own face as he rocked her back and forth.

Parker and J.J. slid away from the rest of the family and walked over to sit on either side of Jack and Sage. Both of them reached out and placed a hand on Sage's back then, looping their other arms around Jack, they bent their heads and created a unified circle.

"Everything is going to be okay, guys." Jack said softly, nodding his head to punctuate his words.

But as he felt the echoing nods from J.J. and Parker and Sage's hot tears on his shirt, Jack couldn't help but wonder if he was saying the words to convince and comfort them…or himself.


	58. You Have to Have Faith

**Author's Note: Hey all...this chapter is written a little differently and I'm sorry if it's at all confusing. It is all dialouge, but you should be able to figure out who is speaking relatively easily. I wanted a creative way to show time passing rather than bore you all to tears with fill-in chapter after fill-in chapter of the same thing. So I hope you like what I came up with even if I'm not completely thrilled with it! If you really need me to, I will post the order of who's speaking in my next author's note.  
ENJOY!  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof."  
__-Kahlil Gibran  
_****************************************************************************************************************************************************

"Hey, Carly, um, wow, I don't even know where to start. You've only been here a few days but so much has happened."

"Yank...I mean, Parker...and I are good. It's kinda weird dating your best friend, but in a good way, ya know? Yeah, I know _you_ know. Um, so guess what? Uncle Lee got full custody! Mr. Turner didn't show up for the re-assigned court date and even his lawyer doesn't a have clue how to find him. But even though don't know _where_ he's gone, we found out yesterday _why_ he's gone."

"Get this, Lieutenant Hughes found out that Turner got in trouble with some pretty bad guys who own the construction company he works for over some money. It turns out that he had been secretly checking into the trust fund that my mum had set up with the money from when she had sold the charter business. It's nothing like Parker's trust fund, but it's definitely enough to make a bloke lose his marbles. Molly said that even though she made some really bad mistakes, Mum obviously loved me enough to think about my future. Funny thing is that I didn't even _know_ about the trust fund until now. Of course, it doesn't really matter anyway because I don't get access to it until I'm 21. Uncle Lee said that Mr. Turner must have thought I could dip into it now or he could if he had custody but since I would be a legal adult when I got access, he's outta luck! So now, I get to go home and be with Uncle Lee and Molly without any worries. Uncle Lee even said that by the time Turner stops running from the loan sharks, if he still wanted to try and get custody, I'll be well beyond the legal age and he couldn't take me anywhere!"

"Um, speaking of Molly, she gets more and more awesome everyday. The station let her have some vacation time so she sublet her house out in Cali and moved in with us until we can figure everything out permanently. It's kinda nice to have another woman around the house to out vote Uncle Lee. Normally I just rely on you to do that, right? Either that or you just kinda bully him into seeing it your way. Uncle Lee says you are just like another younger sister only without the Australian accent, like Mum has."

"Okay, see, that's kinda what I really wanted to talk to you about. No matter how much I love Molly and I do…I _really_ do…well, you were the first person besides Uncle Lee who helped me not to miss my mum so much. And well, I know that Parker and J.J. miss you too, but it's Sage and Emmy that I'm worried about. You and I both know what it's like as a girl to not have a mum around growing up and, well, _it sucks!_ No matter how they leave you, whether they mean to or not, it still hurts like hell. So you have to wake up, okay? For everyone who misses you, but especially Sage and Emmy…and me. I love you."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Hey Sweetie, I brought you some things with me today to celebrate you getting a private suite! Most people have to reserve these things months in advance, shell out loads of money, and be put on a waiting list. Yet, it only took _you_ a week in a coma and maybe some strings pulled by a certain Australian, right?"

"Anyway, check it out. A new silk nightgown and even those pink fuzzy slippers you love so much. Remember how Sage and Natalie were so excited to buy them for us with their own allowance that Christmas? Oh, by the way, I brought some get well cards that the kids hand made for you too. I put them up on your window ledge so you can see them when you wake up. I'm sure you can tell which one is Ethan's card. It was supposed to just be a handprint but he insisted on turning it into a dinosaur. He's really into dinosaurs right now. God, I remember when Luke and even Parker went through that stage. Do you remember how we couldn't buy anything that wasn't dinosaur related? Macaroni noodles, chicken nuggets, pajamas, books; you name it, we bought it!"

"Um, so, you have a lot of people who come visit you everyday. That is, if Jack isn't in the room already. I swear, I don't think that man has slept more than a few hours here and there, babe. He loves you so much, Carly. I don't know how you ever doubted it but at least now you know how silly it was to think otherwise."

"But just so you know…he's not the only one who loves you, okay? We're all ready for you to wake up so…I just want to say that I know I'll see you soon. I, um, I really miss my best friend. I love you, Carly."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Uh, I guess I should start by saying good morning, right? It would be rude otherwise. Although since Lily left me in here while she went to get some coffee, I guess at least I won't be getting smacked for being bad-mannered. "

"Yeah, sorry about that nervous laugh, I know you hate it. It's only because, well, the last time I went through something like this is it was Lily's coma after Ethan was born. And that drove me…well, you know. You were there; I didn't handle it so well. In truth, I haven't handled a lot of things well in the past couple years. But you've always been a really good friend, Carly, and I don't want to lose you. Even though I love you and I know you love me, at least we realized that it wasn't the same way we loved other people. We made a huge mistake, you and I, doing what we did to Jack and Lily. But we both have a second chance to make it right. Okay, you're right, it's more like an eighth or ninth chance, but who's counting?"

"Yeah, I know, the laugh again. Sorry, I'll stop. It's just…bottom line is this, Carly. I have never seen my cousin as happy as the times when he was with you. Even when things got bad, there was something there that I couldn't even _begin_ to describe. It all goes back to the way you two looked at each other all those years ago in Montana and I know that whatever it was then, it has only gotten stronger. So wherever you are now, you gotta come back to him. He's only half a person without you and I know because I have seen it both ways. I also know because it's the same way I feel about Lily."

"So, I guess that's it for today, but just remember what I said about second chances. I'm not going to waste mine and I think it'd be really unfair if you wasted yours too."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Hey, Cuz! I see Lily was here recently by the pretty new nightgown you're dressed in. You know, I always said blue was your color no matter what shade it was. It really brings out your eyes. How bout you open them right now and prove me right?"

"No? Okay, well it was worth a shot, right?"

"So, you want to know what's funny? After you had Emmy, the doctors wrapped your stomach with this ACE bandage type thing that's supposed to keep your stomach muscles tight because you're…um…not moving around as much as you usually do. But I just talked to one of the nurses, woman to woman, and she told me that when you wake up, with maybe a month of light exercise, you'd be back to pretty much your pre-birth body. I mean, come on! With the leg and arm exercises that they do daily with you to keep your muscle tone up, how crazy is it that when you get outta here you're _still_ gonna have a better looking body than me! How do you do it? You have to let me in on your..."

"I'm sorry, Cuz. I didn't mean to go all 'TV movie of the week' on you with that little crying fit just now. It's just…God, this is so _hard_! Even when we fight, and we have had our doozies, there's never been a point where I haven't been able to hear your voice, even if it is just to yell at me. I need you, Carly. You and Abigail are the only family anchors I have left, you know? And besides, there are so many things that I could really use your input on right about now."

"I mean, I'm supposed to be getting married to a guy that _you_ introduced me to and you're sleeping the days away in this comfy bed. Listen, I've got no wedding party attire, including my dress, and no maid of honor. Seriously, how do you expect me to walk down the aisle without wearing one of your beautiful creations? Or you yelling at me five minutes before the ceremony to 'calm my nerves'? And since Lee asked Jack to be his best man you know what that means, don't you? When they're single, the best man and maid of honor always get it on at the wedding! Look at me...years down the road and I'm _still_ the reason that you two are getting together…sort of. Don't you think that you owe me enough for that to wake up?"

"Again, no response? You are starting to suck at this banter thing, Cuz."

"Okay, I'm serious now. You feel that? You feel my hand in yours? Well that's how it is and that's how it's _always_ gonna be. You and me against the world, Cuz. Do don't do this to me, okay? Don't do this to your kids or Jack. We love you so much. Just open your beautiful blue eyes and let us know that you love us too. We're right here…waiting."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Hey there, Carly Tenney! In a coma for a two weeks and still the most beautiful woman in the place. Well, one of them anyway."

"What's that? Yep, you guessed it. Katie's here too! I'm a dad again, Carly, can you believe it? I've got a son. His name is Robert Casey Snyder, after my dad and Katie's dad. I think it's a good strong name, don't you? Yeah, well he's absolutely perfect and I can't wait for you to meet him. They're only a couple floors down from you, you know, and when you wake up, Katie is already demanding you visit. She's so cute when she gets all huffy like that. Even with the hospital bed head."

"But see, I know the real reason she wants to see you so bad and I'll let you in on the secret if you promise not to tell her that I told you already, okay? So, it's like this; we want you to be one of Robby's godmothers. Margo is naturally going to be the other one and let me tell you she is _thrilled_ about sharing the duty with you. She's already comparing you two to the angel and devil on Robby's shoulders. She says that while she's teaching him to obey the law, you'll be teaching him how to sneak around it. But she's just joking…I think."

"Anyway, all I know is that your little Emma and my Robby are going to give us grey hairs when they are old enough to tag team. I mean Robby, of course, inherited my good looks and that niece of mine, man, she's already charmed every single guy in the joint. My brother is no exception, trust me. There are some days that, when he's not in here with you, they literally have to pry him away from her to go eat something. The normal visiting hours have no meaning to him."

"So you have to get better soon, okay? Katie and I wouldn't even have Robby if it weren't for you all those months ago and he needs to meet his Aunt Carly. And that's what you'll be whether you're married to my brother or not. No matter what's happened between us in the past, babe, you and me…we're good and I need you to know that I still love ya. I'll catch you soon to set up play dates and I mean it…bye, Sweetie."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Um, hi. I'm probably the last person you thought would ever come visit you here but I needed to tell you something. I needed to tell you…thank you."

"Liberty came to me yesterday and let me know she was thinking about having sex again. After I mentally nearly went through the roof, it occurred to me that she was actually telling me and not just doing it. And apparently I have you to thank for that. I don't know exactly what you said to her, but last night was I think the first honest conversation I've had with my daughter in a very long time. And I know now that it's partly due to you."

"You know what else is due to you, in a way? Craig and Dusty have finally settled on a joint custody agreement…for now anyway. They saw how much it was tearing that little boy up and then when the news got around about you and the baby…well they both admitted they didn't want to waste any more time battling it out in court when life was too fleeting. Don't get me wrong, there are days that I swear I think they might still actually kill each other, but at least they don't do it in front of the kid. Even though Johnny will go to stay with Dusty a couple nights a month, he primarily lives with me and Craig in the new townhouse that Craig bought. Despite some initial reservations, I have to admit it's really nice and Johnny is adjusting much better now that he is out of a hotel setting and into a more normal home environment. Even Libby seems to have taken to the tyke. And Johnny follows her around like a puppy; it's pretty damn cute, just wait till you see."

"God, Carly, I spent so long hating you for what happened with Jack that I didn't think I'd ever get over it. And while I know you and I will never really be friends, I think you have the right to know something. Even though it's over between him and me, I still love him very much and just want him to be happy. And for that to happen, you need to wake up. His world consists of three essential things; his kids, his job, and you. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it and everyone assures me that I never will again. I also don't know if I have that forever kind of love ahead of me with anyone, even Craig, but I sure as hell hope so."

"And I also hope that when you wake up, you'll bring the kids and stop in for a piece of pie. We'd love to have you."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Hi, Mommy, it's me. J.J. is here too."

"Hey, Mom."

"Um, Parker couldn't come tonight but he told me to give you a kiss. There, that one was from him. Oh, guess what? I got to hold Emmy today! The doctor said that since she's gained back the weight she lost in the past couple weeks that she was stable enough for us to take her out of her bassinet. Daddy didn't think that I was ready to hold her but I knew I was. And Emmy knew that I wouldn't drop her. I'm her big sister so that means that I have to show her how I am going to take care of her and love her always, right?"

"She's still so tiny, Mommy, but she is so strong too! She grabbed my pinky today when I was holding her and she wouldn't let go. Nurse Helen said that it's because she knows my voice and that she loves me already. She said she'll know your voice too, when you wake up, more than anyone else's voice because she heard it all the time when she was inside of you. I can't wait until she comes home! Aunt Emma and I have been practicing how to change a diaper on a doll that the hospital let us take home. I can do it 38 seconds! Of course, the doll doesn't wiggle as much as Emmy does but I know I'll still be able to do it really fast when you're there to hold her still for me. Um, okay, I'll let J.J. talk to you now."

"Hey, Mom. I took a couple practice tries on the doll too, but I think I'll stick to things like teaching her about all the cool food there is to eat. I saw this show on TV about how to make your own baby food if you have a food processor. I saved up enough money to buy this really high-tech one and Dad took me to get it yesterday. So we can try it out when you wake up. I can't wait to totally invent all these awesome combinations for Emmy to try. And they'll be completely natural and good for her. Like…grapetastic-banana-berry blast! Or something…I dunno. You'll help me though since you know what babies can and can't eat better than I do."

"Um, school starts soon, you know? And I _really_ need you to wake up so you can be the one to take me shopping. I mean, Dad tries but he always ends up picking out stuff that makes me look like I'm headed to some boarding school in Europe or something. You at least know how to mix and match stuff so that I don't look like a total dork. I'm gonna be in 10th grade this year so I gotta start my rep right."

"I love you and I really miss you, Mom. I'm taking good care of Sage and everything but, please wake up soon. Our family just doesn't work right without you. Okay, um, Dad's waving to us to tell us it's time to go, but we'll be back in the morning...I promise."

"Goodnight, Mommy. I love you. _Always and forever_."


	59. Every Baby Is A Miracle Made From Love

**_Author's Note: Hey everyone! First things first...yes, there is a reason why you didn't see a certain someone in the last chapter. Don't worry...just go with the flow. _**

**_I'd like to take a moment to dedicate this chapter to the real Nurse Helens, the real Dr. Maynards, and all of the infants and parents that really do have to go through the daily experience of the NICU. I did a lot of research on this subject and often found myself moved to tears while reading about the strength, love, devotion, and heartbreak that happens, especially if those tiny miracles are released back into God's hands. It truly is inspiring._**

**_And so to everyone who has ever had to go through that, known someone who has, or might be going through it now, this is for you. God Bless.  
~JP_**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle."  
__~Marie Lloyd  
_****************************************************************************************************************************************************

As Jack strolled into the NICU, he waved to several of the nurses before heading straight back to Emmy's bassinet.

The baby lay sleeping on her back, her tiny chest moving up and down with each breath with her angelic face scrunched up and her perfect rosebud mouth making a quivering motion every few seconds.

"Morning, Emmy. How's Daddy's angel doing today?"

"She's doing great, Mr. Snyder."

Jack looked up to see one of the NICU interns standing close by and smiling at him and Emmy.

"Morning, Lauren. How was her night?" Jack said, smiling back at her.

"Like I said, she did great. No apnea episodes and her oxygen levels are completely steady." Lauren said, showing Jack the chart she held in her hands. "Plus, we have a surprise for you."

Jack looked up from reading his daughter's statistics with interest and couldn't help but chuckle at the young nursing intern's eager face.

Lauren practically bounced on her toes as she prepared to tell him. Little Emma Rose Snyder and her family had quickly become one of the NICU's favorites. Not only was she a beautiful and pleasant baby but everyone who came to stay with her, went out of their way to get to know the entire staff and most of the other families. Especially, Jack. In fact, in the entire two and a half weeks that Emmy had been in their care this was the first night that Jack hadn't slept either in the NICU or down a couple floors in Carly's private suite. Of course, what Lauren didn't know was that the only reason he had been away from the hospital last night was Lee being on duty and swearing up and down that if anything changed, he would call Jack immediately.

"All the interns fought over who got to tell you the good news and I won." Lauren said and Jack chuckled again, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Well?" He prompted, grinning at her expectantly and Lauren found herself blushing.

At twenty-one years old, Lauren was somewhat embarrassed to admit that she had developed a slight crush on Detective Jack Snyder. It was just a fun little secret thing; she had no delusions that he even saw her as anything but one of the nice interns that helped care for his daughter. Plus, she saw the way his face got when he talked about Emmy's mother and there was no way in hell she could compete with that kind of love. But she couldn't help it. Not only was he genuinely a nice guy…he was totally _hot_!

"Lauren?" Jack's voice broke into her thoughts and she blushed harder.

"Oh, right!" Lauren giggled and grinned down at a still sleeping Emmy. "You get to bottle feed her today!"

"What?" Jack gasped, looking down at Emmy too and then back up to Lauren in disbelief. "But…Dr. Maynard said that it would probably be another week at least because of the reflux that happened the last time they tried taking the feeding tube out."

"Well he thought so but, a little after you left yesterday evening, he was making rounds and saw that Emmy was sucking on her fist, which means that the natural reflex is fully active. We weaned her off the feeding tube again overnight and early this morning, so she's all ready to try the bottle when she wakes up for her mid-morning feeding."

Jack shook his head, unable to believe his ears. With no change in Carly's condition and no explanations for her still being in the coma, Jack was in need of some good news. But this…this was beyond good.

"How come no one called me?" Jack asked, thinking specifically of Lee.

"Dr. Maynard said that this was a common action that could be misleading. He wanted to make sure that Emmy's vitals stayed within the levels that they needed to be in case he had to re-tube her before you got here." Lauren said and then tilted her head with a small frown. "I think Dr. Reynolds actually wanted to call you but if I remember correctly, Dr. Maynard said something about telling Nurse Hudson if he did. I don't think Dr. Reynolds put much of a fight after that."

Jack couldn't help but laugh at knowing that though his friend, the Junior Chief of Medicine, had wanted to call him even _he_ wasn't about to incur the wrath of Nurse Helen Hudson when it came to the well being of one of her patients and their family.

Lauren saw the elation on Jack's face and couldn't help but feel warm all over. It was because of moments like _this_ that she had decided to become a pediatric nurse.

"Nurse Hudson is in a quick meeting with the director of the Mommies Milk program but she'll be here in a little while. But until then, how would you like to just relax and hold your daughter?"

"Oh yeah." Jack said, grinning at her and she laughed.

"Well you know where the wash station is and there should be new sets of individually wrapped scrubs in the cabinet by the sink."

Jack didn't think he had ever moved that fast in his life but even so, by the time he returned freshly washed and dressed in blue scrubs, Lauren had swaddled Emmy and was waiting patiently.

Jack settled into the rocker by Emmy's bassinet and immediately Lauren leaned down to place her very small charge in his arms.

Jack had only been allowed to hold her starting about a week ago, via the process called kangaroo care where the infant is dressed only in a diaper and hat against bare skin of the parent under a shirt or hospital gown. Awkward and very scary at first, having to lay this incredibly tiny being on his bare chest, it became one of Jack's favorite activities when he was with Emmy. But this was the first time that she was in his arms with no extra tubes attached to her body. Having only needed an IV line for the first couple of weeks, there were only two wires that were carefully threaded through the bottom of the blanket; one was for the pulse ox machine that was attached to her left big toe and the other was for the single monitor machine that read her breathing patterns attached by sticker to her little chest.

But as he held her in his arms, as always, those wires seemed to disappear and it was just him and his newest baby girl.

Jack looked up to thank Laurenn but the young intern had slipped away, giving him the moment alone with his daughter. He smiled and then looked back down at the precious bundle in his arms. Jack smiled as he watched her eyelashes flutter against her cheeks and then open slowly to reveal a pair of seemingly unfocused blue eyes.

"Hi, Emmy. You waking up already for Daddy?" Jack said, softly.

The baby in his arms blinked a few times, scrunched up her nose and then letting out a small yawn, immediately closed her eyes again and snuggled deeper into her receiving blanket.

Jack laughed and began rocking again. "I guess not."

Taking his index finger he gently lifted the pink hat that covered Emmy's head and stroked the soft light brown peach fuzz that lay under it. Then replacing the hat, he drew his finger down the middle of her forehead to the tip of her tiny nose. Sliding it down over her left cheek then across her little pink lips he smiled as they twitched, allowing him a glimpse at the miniature dimples at either side of her mouth. Jack shook his head as it hit him once again that, other than the color of her hair, how much she reminded him of Carly.

The sound of his name being called broke Jack out of his silent reverie. Looking up he saw a handsome African American male heading his way with a small blue bundle in his arms.

"Hey, Grant, what's up?"

"Not much. Me and Superman here, saw you sitting alone with his girl and he got a little jealous."

Jack grinned and craned his neck as Grant proudly bent slightly to show off his son who, despite his father's words, was as fast asleep as Emmy.

"Superman, huh?" Jack said, settling back down again and raising his eyebrow.

"Yeah, well…I just can't bring myself to call him…_that_." Grant said, sighing and shaking his head.

"Rissa still not budging on the name thing?" Jack asked, still slowly rocking a content Emma in his arms.

"Nah, not an inch. I swear, Jack, I know that the show is fascinating and, if I didn't think my head would explode if I watched it, I would probably be as into it as my wife. But saddling the kid with _that_ as a name…it's just cruel."

Jack just laughed and shook his head. "I don't know. I don't think it's that bad."

"Yeah, well, you wouldn't be saying that if you were kicked out of _your _master bedroom because of a stupid show every Wednesday night."

Jack laughed again and with a low chuckle of his own, Grant pulled up a chair to sit down next to him.

Grant Martin and his wife Marissa had welcomed their son at 31 weeks in the middle of June due to a car accident and he had unfortunately had a very rough go of it at first. But by the time Emma had been admitted to the NICU, Sawyer Jacob Martin was a bright eyed 35 week old boy whose parents were very helpful in getting Jack and the kids adjusted to the NICU process. In fact, during the nights they both sat by their babies' incubators, Jack and Grant had bonded a lot over their love of the Chicago Bears, bass fishing, and their absolute terror of almost losing their youngest children.

"We wondered about you last night." Grant said, shifting Sawyer in his arms and bouncing gently when the baby made a disgruntled noise at being moved. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just realized I needed to spend some quality time with my kids. With everything going on, I don't want them to think that I'm not there for them." Jack said, frowning at the memory of how surprised J.J., Parker, and Sage had been when he told them he was taking them out to dinner.

He knew that he was devoting a lot of time to the hospital and while Margo had easily allowed him emergency personal leave from the station, _no one_ had given him emergency leave of being a father to the kids that already waited patiently at home.

"They coming in soon? Superman likes to flirt with Sage." Grant asked and Jack smiled, but shook his head.

"Maybe later. I finally convinced them to go take some time off from worrying. So Holden and Lee took the J.J. and Parker to the movies while Molly and Lily took the girls to the mall for some quality shopping. Since Sage didn't want to go back to overnight camp, her cousins decided to stay home too. We luckily got them enrolled in the second session for a popular local day camp but on weekends, when they're not there, it's harder to keep their minds off of the situation."

Grant nodded and smiled, before flicking a glance to Jack. "How's Carly doing? Any change?"

Jack held Emma closer and sighed, pressing a quick kiss to her small forehead before answering.

"No...nothing. They scheduled her for another MRI but at this point they are just adjusting the levels of the cocktail and monitoring her closely. Lee's put in a call to Australia to a colleague of his to come take a look at her. He's supposedly one of the best neurologists in the world, but he can't get here until the first week in August."

"Well, that's only…what…another week and a half away?" Grant said and at Jack's nod, he clasped a hand on his shoulder. "It'll be fine. I know it."

Jack smiled and shrugged. "Yeah, it's just…every day, I miss her that much more, ya know?"

"Yeah, man, I know. I know you do." Grant said simply, not able to say anything more than that to comfort his friend.

Jack sighed and then took a good look at the baby in Grant's arms. "Hey, you know…Sawyer's looking really good. Has he put on weight?"

"Yeah, he has. Actually, he's doing so well that Dr. Maynard told us this morning that we can take him home the day after tomorrow." Grant said, unable to stop grinning like the cat that ate the canary.

A wave of jealousy swept over Jack for a nanosecond before he shook it off. He had learned quickly that in the NICU, one parent's dream coming true just gave way to more hope being spread around. Grinning also, Jack reached over a hand to offer the other man his congratulations.

"Grant, that's amazing. I'm so happy for you and Rissa."

"Thanks, man. We're all ecstatic. Isn't that right, Superman?" Grant said, bending his face to talk to his son.

The tiny infant wiggled a moment, sighed, and then promptly let out a familiar noise from the other end.

Jack laughed and looked down into Emmy's sleeping face, before back to an amused Grant.

"Sounds like he's thrilled."

"Yeah, well, he just knows that when we go home he is not gonna be 'King of the Nursery' anymore." Grant said and then exchanged a look with Jack that clearly read that neither man bought it. Sawyer was the first child for Grant and Rissa and was in clear danger of being completely spoiled by every member of their entire family once they got him home.

Jack caught something out of the corner of his eye and nodded his head in that direction.

"Hey, speaking of which, did the O'Hara's get to take Tommy home last night?"

Grant looked over at the empty incubator that only yesterday had held another tiny infant and then with a frown, turned away again.

"No." Grant said softly, shaking his head and not meeting Jack's eyes.

Jack didn't say anything more, just felt a cold chill run through his veins, and both fathers unconsciously held their precious bundles closer to them. Before either one could speak again, Helen appeared.

"Okay, boys, chat time is over. Jack, you have a baby to feed and Grant…" Helen said and sniffing the air, gave him a look. "Sawyer smells a little ripe."

"Yes ma'am." Grant chuckled and nodded to Jack. "Catch ya later, man. And good luck today!"

"Thanks, Grant. Tell Rissa I better see her before you guys take Superman home." Jack said and Grant smiled at Jack's use of his nickname for his son.

"Will do."

Helen watched him go and then nodded down towards the baby in Jack's arms. "You ready to try this?"

"A little nervous but, yeah, more than ready." Jack said, grinning. Helen smiled as she reached down to gently rub Emmy's cheek, who was already starting to awaken. The baby jerked a little but soon opened her eyes fully and after a moment, must have realized her stomach was empty because she started to cry. It wasn't the loud piercing cry normally associated with infants but it _definitely_ got her point across.

Helen gently showed him how to hold Emmy so that her head was raised slightly and her body was turned more towards his chest. This tended to put less stress on the premature baby's digestive system while creating a more secure feeling for both the parent and infant. Adjusting himself so that his arm was propped up on a pillow and he was in a comfortable position, Jack reached out to take the small thin bottle Helen handed to him and listened as she began to instruct him.

"Okay, Jack, now tilt the bottle so that the nipple is completely filled with milk. This helps get rid of air bubbles in the bottle. Now, be careful to hold the bottle this way throughout the entire feeding." Helen said and Jack nodded as he followed her directions.

"Good, very good. Now don't be surprised or worried if Emmy doesn't take to the bottle right away. It might take her a few tries to get used to the feeling since her sucking reflex is relatively new to her. She won't understand, at first, why she suddenly has a mouth full of milk. In fact, it might scare her and cause her to spit up."

Sure enough, as soon as Emmy sucked her first sip, back out it came accompanied by a very angry wail. Helen showed Jack how to clean her up and then they tried again. Fifteen minutes later, Jack's heart felt like it was going to explode as he listened to his daughter's frustrated cries, especially since he knew how she felt.

"It's alright, Jack." Helen said, sensing his mood. She placed a calming hand on his as it wiped up Emmy's spit up once again and looked into his face. "Relax and she'll relax. This is new to both of you and if she doesn't get it today, she'll get it tomorrow or the next day. Okay?"

Jack sighed and then nodded. "Okay."

"Good, now let's try one more time and then we'll give her, and you, a break." Helen said and Jack gently guided the bottle into Emmy's open mouth.

At first it looked like it was going to be another failed attempt, but Helen reached down and firmly caressed Emmy's cheek like she had earlier when she was waking up.

"Come on, Emmy. Stop being so stubborn for your dad. You think your mommy would be happy with such behavior?" She said softly.

As if hearing and understanding her, Emmy suddenly looked up straight into Jack's eyes and not a moment later, a sucking noise was being made. Jack's eyes widened and he watched in fascination as the tiny tentative sucks became stronger and greedier.

"She's…she's…" Jack said, his eyes welling up with proud tears.

"Hungry." Helen finished for him and he laughed, startling the baby in his arms. Emmy paused and Jack tensed, fearing that he had ruined the progress that she had made. But he needn't have worried as she started up again just as quickly as she stopped.

"Okay, Jack. Now all you have to do it burp her every ½ ounce or so and Emmy will do the rest. She'll let you know when she's full, probably by falling asleep mid-suck. Don't be surprised if she only takes about 2 or 3 ounces this time around. Soon she'll be downing bottles 4 to 6 ounces at a time and you won't be able to keep up."

Standing straight again, Helen patted him on the shoulder. "By the way, good job, Daddy."

Jack grinned back and with a wink she moved away to go check on another of her tiny charges.

About ten minutes and two burps later, Jack looked up when he heard a familiar female voice. Smiling, he saw the woman walking in his direction from the area of the hand washing station.

"I guess if you're the wife of the Chief of Medicine you are allowed in any part of the hospital huh?" He said as Kim Hughes approached.

"Hi there, Stranger. In fact, it was Bob who told me that he saw you heading this way earlier." Kim said, coming over to brush a kiss to his cheek.

"Yep, I was just in time to feed this little angel her first bottle ever." Jack said, jerking his head to indicate the infant in his arms.

"Oh, Jack, she is just breathtaking." Kim said, running a gentle finger over the baby's rounded cheek.

Jack smiled down at his daughter who was still drinking contentedly.

"Yeah, I think we'll keep her." He said, the pride dripping from his voice.

"She reminds me so much of Sage." Kim said and Jack searched Emmy's features closely.

"Yeah, I don't know. Carly swore up and down that Sage looked like me when she was born but with Emmy…every time I look at her I see Carly." Jack said and Kim glanced at him, before smiling softly.

"You know what? I think you might be right about that." Kim said and nodded. "Speaking of Carly, are the rest of the kids down with her now?"

"No, Sage is doing a girl's day at the mall while the boys are seeing that new science fiction/horror movie with Holden and Lee." Jack said and seeing that she had managed another ½ ounce, he gently lifted Emmy to burp her. When he was done he began the process over again and to his delight, Emmy began drinking again smoothly after only one unsuccessful attempt.

"New sci-fi movie, huh? I think Casey likes those things. What is this one called?" Kim said, making a funny face at Emmy who was staring in her direction with surprisingly alert eyes.

"Um, it's called The Empty House. I don't know what it's about but I do know that the only reason Holden agreed to go because Julianne Moore is in it." Jack said, rolling his eyes. "He's had a thing for her ever since I can remember."

"Hmm," Kim murmured, frowning slightly. "Julianne Moore? Is she that blonde with the accent?"

"No, she's got red hair. Um, she was nominated for an Oscar, I think, for that movie…um, The Hours?" Jack looked and saw that Kim was still confused. "Uh, she played Jodie Foster's role in the sequel to Silence of the Lambs. I know cause Carly made me go see it with her on one of our secret dates back when…never mind."

Jack trailed off, not wanting to mention Julia Lindsey in front of Kim since she had nearly killed Barbara, even though it was years ago. Thankfully Kim seemed not to notice and finally just shrugged.

"Nope, not ringing a bell. Maybe Bob will know. He's better at putting faces with names than I am." She said and then nudged Jack.

He looked down to see that Emma's eyes were starting to drift closed and even though when he moved the bottle she started to drink again, she was obviously about to conk out again. Jack lifted her to carefully burp her once more before letting her fall back asleep as he started to rock her.

"If the kids are out, who's with Carly?" Kim asked, reaching down to take the bottle from Jack so he could hold Emmy more comfortably.

"Um, Emma is. As a matter of fact, she sits with Carly every Tuesday and Thursday mornings, reading to her." Jack said, smiling softly as he thought of his beloved aunt. The woman had always put on a face that she didn't like really like Carly, but he knew that the woman he loved had been assimilated as a Snyder in Emma's eyes long ago despite all their ups and downs.

"She does?" Kim said, her eyes widening. Sometimes, even after all these years of being one of her best friends, Emma Snyder still surprised her.

"Yup." Jack nodded and looked up at Kim, grinning. "I think today's reading is from the altar of Danielle Steele; her latest book."

"Oh, really? Hmm, in that case, maybe I'll just go sit with her and listen in." Kim said, giving him a grin and then bent down to kiss the top of his head. "Hang in there, Jack. You're all in our prayers."

"Thanks, Kim." Jack said, meaning it sincerely. After dropping a light kiss on the sleeping Emmy's hat covered head, Kim slipped back out to the hospital halls.

Alone once again, Jack smiled down at his daughter.

"You know, I can't wait to tell your mom about how well you did today. She's going to be just as proud of you as I am."

His voice caught in his throat and he quickly blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. Rocking gently, Jack watched Emmy sleep for a few moments then shifted to get more comfortable.

As he lay his head back against the rocking chair, Jack's eyes caught sight of the empty incubator where little Tommy O'Hara used to lie. He sent up a silent prayer for the O'Hara family and lifted Emmy so that she was lying on his chest, her tiny puffs of breath tickling his neck.

He knew that he would soon have to place Emmy back in her bassinet since exposure to outside still needed to be limited. But for that moment, he just closed his eyes and thought about the tiny miracle that had been gifted to them as he felt her little heartbeat against his.


	60. Anger Gets To The Best of Us

**Author's Note: Hola! Many of you noticed that a certain two people were missing from the last chapter (one more blatant than the other). Here is reason #1 as to why that was...#2 is coming up soon.  
This is actually one of the first chapters I ever wrote of this story, because I could just see it plainly when I closed my eyes. I honestly wish I could see it play out on screen because I know that Michael and Mick would be phenomenal. I hope you agree and of course...enjoy!  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Anger is short-lived madness."  
__-Horace  
_****************************************************************************************************************************************************

Jack stood on the doorstep to the house and reached for the doorknob. Hesitating he ran a hand over his weary face and stepped back to lean on one of the porch railings.

Even though little Emma was getting stronger every day, there had still been no change in Carly's condition. A renowned colleague of Lee's had finally flown in a couple days ago to give his opinion on her coma but, in the end, he hadn't been able to come up with any new answers.

Jack had come by Milltown to grab a shower and a change of clothes before heading over to the farm to see the kids. It was getting harder and harder to look them in the eye and repeatedly tell them that they just had to be patient. While he believed that Carly would come back to them, even he was getting frustrated with the lack of progress.

Hearing a constant thud from the area by the garage, Jack frowned and went to investigate. He paused as he watched Parker continuously slap a hockey puck into a net in front of the garage door and then retrieve it to do it over again.

After about six more times, Parker missed the shot and the puck went wide, disappearing into the rose bushes on the side of the garage. The teenager froze and then let out a yell.

"Dammit!" Parker cried and slammed the end of his hockey stick on the ground. The lifting it again, he repeated the motion. "Goddammit!"

He kept hitting the ground with the stick until Jack saw that it was starting to splinter and he rushed forward before Parker got hurt. Grabbing the hockey stick he also took hold of one of Parker's arms. The boy lashed out and whipped his arm away, nearly stumbling backwards with the force of his movement.

"Get the hell off of me!" Parker said angrily and Jack felt his heart twist in his chest at the look in his son's eyes.

"Parker, everything is gonna be fine…" Jack started to say but Parker cut him off.

"Bullshit!" Parker bit out, his eyes blazing. "I'm not a kid, Jack, so don't lie to me like one! Mom's been in a coma long enough for even _Lee_ to worry and Emmy just turned a month old and she isn't even allowed to come home yet!"

Ignoring the fact that Parker had just called him by his first name, Jack looked on in silence as the teen continued his tirade and began to pace back and forth on the driveway.

"I try to be strong because I know that J.J. is worried shitless even though he won't admit it and Sage…hell, if you can get Sage to sit still long enough she just starts crying! And what about Emmy? She doesn't even know what one of Mom's hugs feels like or the smell of Mom's hair when she leans over to kiss you goodnight! I mean, I go in and I touch Emmy's hand and I hold her and feed her but Mom…Mom can't do any of that! Maybe she never will, because all Mom does is lie there with those _damn_ machines beeping all the time!"

Parker stopped and turned to look at Jack.

"And you all tell me to talk to her so I do. I do…every_ goddamn_ time I see her! I tell her about how nervous I am to study for the SATs and about how Mattie and I are already talking about junior prom even though it's over eight months away. I talk to her about how you and Holden said I can have my own horse this fall and how it would be really cool to go snowboarding during winter break up at my friend Kyle's house in Colorado. But I don't even know if she can hear me and if she _can_ hear me, you know what's funny? It's apparently not making a goddamn bit of difference because she still _won't_…_wake_…_up_!"

Parker grabbed his hockey stick back and pointed it at Jack. "So don't stand there, Jack, and lie to me that everything is going to be fucking _fine_!"

Parker looked at the splintering hockey stick and with a fierce cry hurled it at the garage door, not even flinching as it shattered apart. Jack watched in silence and then took a deep breath.

"Do you feel better now?" Jack asked and the angry tone of his own voice made Parker turn to him in surprise.

Jack glared at his son and waved his arm out towards the two halves of the sports equipment lying on the asphalt.

"Did breaking that make you feel any better? Or yelling and cursing at me? I hope it did, Parker, I really do. But now I'm going to tell you something, okay?"

Parker opened his mouth and then closed it again, getting the feeling that it was a rhetoric question.

"Do you think you are the _only one_ who is angry right now? The _only one_ who is hurting or scared?" Jack asked, his chest tightening.

"J.J. walks around the house like a zombie and barely speaks or eats. So, _yeah_, I think that's his way of communicating that he's worried. Sage cries because she can't stop having nightmares to the point that she has to fall asleep with a night light on, something she hasn't done in almost _three_ years."

Jack waved his hand upward, his own voice starting to escalate in volume as he continued.

"Lily and Holden are at the hospital every day to make sure that when I spend some time with Emmy or your mom, neither one is left alone. Your Aunt Emma even sits with them, when she isn't running around trying to keep you guys occupied so you don't get too worried or scared. Molly is trying to help Henry keep Metro a float and won't even _discuss_ her engagement because she can't begin to think about your mom not being at her wedding. Lee, who is working 18 hour days as it is, is calling in every favor he knows in the medical community to try and find something, _anything_, to help your mom get better. God, even Janet and Craig Montgomery helped set up a donation fund to help pay your mom and baby sister's medical bills for as long as they need to be there."

Parker listened to Jack and tilted his head, noting that Jack had left one very important person off of his list. "And you?"

"Me?"

Jack looked him in the eye and sighed, a sound of weariness that echoed in his core.

"Parker, I am more terrified than I think I have ever been in my entire life. Your mom…she is the other half of my soul. There is no other way to put it." Jack looked up at the sky, gathering his strength and then looked back at Parker. "Other than you kids, the only reason I am still breathing right now is the fact that I _know_ that she is coming back to us. And I know it because there is no other option."

Parker searched Jack's face for a minute and then looked away.

"Ishouldhavetoldyou." He said, mumbling so fast and low that Jack almost didn't hear him.

"What?" Jack asked and Parker's anguished eyes shot to Jack's face.

"I should have told you! I should have told you about Emmy when I first found out, before Mom went to California. If I did then maybe…maybe…" Parker trailed off and Jack moved forward to grab his son's arms.

"This is not your fault, do you hear me? Your mom and I made some _major_ mistakes and we're going to fix them as soon as she wakes up. We're gonna be a family, just like we should have been all along, I swear to you. But everything that has kept us apart and the way things turned out right now, that is entirely on us." Jack said firmly and when Parker wouldn't meet his gaze, Jack shook him slightly. "None of this is your fault!"

Parker just shook his head and looked away again. Jack grabbed the back of Parker's head and turned it so that he could place his forehead to Parker's and sighed again.

"It's okay, you know? To be scared."

"It's _not_ okay, Dad." Parker said softly and shut his eyes, tears beginning to slide freely down his cheeks. "Absolutely _nothing_ about this is okay!"

"I know, Buddy. I know." Jack said and hugged Parker to him hard. After a moment Parker's arms wrapped around his father and he held on just as tightly.

"I just want her to wake up, you know? Because I can't…" Parker said and his voice broke as he let go of all the guilt and the fear that had been building inside of him. The faces of his biological father and his half sister flashed before him and he shuddered. "I can't lose my mom too."

Jack knew there were a million things he still needed to do that day, but they all melted away as he held his shaking teenaged son. Soon Jack found his own tears falling to land in Parker's dark brown hair.

And in the dying afternoon light, two people who thought that they needed to always be strong for everyone else, finally realized that true strength was learning to lean on the ones you loved the most when times were toughest.


	61. Confession To A Soulmate

**Author's Note: So Happy Memorial Day Weekend, everyone! I thought I'd update, especially since I've decided to ignore the absolute BS that is on my TV screen everyday when I _thought_ I was turning in to As The World Turns. *deep breath* Okay...I'm okay...  
Anyways, I really hope you guys like this chapter since it took me, oh, about 8 re-writes until I was satisfied. I expect reviews...many many reviews! LOL Enjoy!  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Be with me always — take any form — drive me mad!  
__Only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!  
Oh, God! It is unutterable! I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!"  
__-Wuthering Heights  
_************************************************************************************************************************************************

"Hey, Beautiful. Did you miss me?"

Jack's voice filled the room and the only other sounds disturbing the silence were the machines that were continuously keeping watch over Carly as they beeped every now and then. His eyes traveled over Carly's still form and then glanced at the monitors as he laid his coat down over the back of the long couch that took up the far side wall. He pulled the chair that constantly sat next to her hospital bed closer and sat down, leaning forward to take her hand in his.

"Of course you did. You always miss me, right?" Jack joked.

He smiled at her as he brushed a curl off of her cheek, noting that they looked rosier than normal. Jack tested her forehead and frowned, thinking that she felt warmer than she should. He gently lifted the light weight blanket from around her feet the way the doctors had told him to do if Carly seemed overly warm. When he caught a glimpse of her toes, he chuckled.

"I see that Sage kept her promise to give you a pedicure. I'm not sure that hot pink with silver metallic sparkles is really your thing, but if my opinion counts at all, it's pretty hot." Jack said and then reached down to tuck the blanket around her ankles before settling back into the chair.

"Um, let's see. I just came from seeing Emmy. She's doing so much better. They're still monitoring her and Dr. Maynard said that she'll only have to gain a little more weight before she can come home. We're talking about throwing a small party even though she's too little to know what's going on. You know me though, any excuse to have cake, right? Don't worry, we'll have a whole other huge party when you come home too. Only we'll have a vanilla ice cream cake for you because I know that's your favorite."

Jack spread her hand open and tenderly traced the lines of her palm with the tip of his index finger while he spoke. The repetitive action grounded him as he spoke of her coming home, because otherwise he was sure he would sink into the dark hole that beckoned to him every so often when he thought of the possibility of that day never coming.

"Speaking of home, wait until you see the changes." Jack said, clearing his throat and forcing himself to sound cheerful. He wouldn't take the chance of her hearing the frustration that seeped from his soul into his voice. "Since we're using the office as a nursery, the boys and I decided to convert the attic into a bedroom for Parker. Don't worry, I had someone come inspect it and it's perfectly safe. Actually, the contractor just finished putting the insulation in so that it's semi-soundproof. But even then, Parker knows that he can't be too loud; although his definition of loud is probably a lot different than ours."

"Getting the rooms ready has been a good project to help them with everything. Um, the nursery furniture you picked out with Molly is all put together, but we didn't paint or anything because I know you and Sage have very definite plans. So, in the meantime, I got one of those cute little bassinets so we that can have Emmy in our room with us. Just until she's a little bit bigger, you know?"

Jack tilted his head and looked slightly sheepish. "I know what you're going to say and yes, maybe it _is_ just because I can't take my eyes off of her for more than a couple minutes at a time. But hey, can you blame me? We make some damn beautiful babies, Carly."

Jack sighed and after pressing a kiss to the palm of her hand, he enclosed it between the two of his and lifted it to rest in his under his chin. He watched Carly's chest rise and fall slowly, then sent a silent thank you again that she was at least breathing on her own. Jack had been in the ICU long enough to realize how incredibly lucky, despite what it looked like, that her condition wasn't worse. Unlike some other families, there was a much greater chance of Carly waking up one day and being able to hear her voice again.

It was a morbid line of thinking but for some reason Jack couldn't help thinking about the tapes that Carly had made for the kids and him when she had been misdiagnosed with her brain tumor. He frowned and rubbed his chin thoughtfully against the back of her hand.

"I talked Dr. Mitchell again. It's funny. Who would have thought that I would ever _want_ to talk to a shrink?"

When families had children in the NICU, it was recommended that they make an appointment to see the hospital psychiatrist. However, most people who knew Jack Snyder could've easily guessed what he had told the hospital that they could do with their recommendation when they first brought it up. But upon calming down he had spoken to some of the other parents who said that it really helped, especially when it came to discussing the situation with older siblings. So Jack gave in and went to a session thinking that if it helped him communicate what was going on to his children, then it was worth a shot. Turns out, it did help…just not in the way they intended. He had seen Dr. Kristin Mitchell, three times now and he had been stunned when things had come pouring out of him that had nothing to do with Emmy or Carly's current medical situations.

Thanks to the therapy, Jack had finally admitted aloud that he had mishandled the brain tumor situation in the worst way. He had been so focused on the fact that Carly had withheld the actual prognosis from him that he hadn't let the good seep in. He hadn't bothered to realize that Carly had only known the truth for a couple weeks, during which he really hadn't given her many opportunities to explain it to him. Maybe deep down he had known that something had changed and by rushing her around, he had purposely not given her that time to tell him. Either way, when it came out he had still overlooked the most important fact of all; she hadn't been dying!

Hadn't he begged her that day in Montana to not die, to not leave him? But when he got his wish, instead of fully hearing her out, he had merely driven away. In hindsight, a lot of the trouble with Parker had started back up again then and he couldn't help but wonder if _he_ had handled it all better, would Parker have been more equipped to deal with the constant upheavals in his young life.

Jack shook himself out of past thoughts and smiled wryly at her. "Anyways, I think…I think I understand now, why you won't wake up."

Jack sighed again and closed his eyes, trying to gather his thoughts to tell her everything that he was feeling.

"I've been mad for so long…much longer than I think even _I_ realized. Dr. Mitchell got me to see that I haven't been the same since that day I went off the bridge with Starziak."

Jack glanced at Carly and he raised his eyebrow. He could almost hear what she would have said.

"Yeah, I know I had amnesia but that's not what I meant. Carly, that day…it changed_ everything_ for us. Even when I got my memory back I was so angry and conflicted. On one hand I lost so much time with you and the kids that I couldn't stand it but on the other, I found the incredible child that we now call our son. I could see how much pain I was causing you and yet I couldn't help how I felt."

"I don't know what happened after that, Baby, I honestly don't. Things seemed to just move at such a rapid pace and we were growing apart and then the whole disaster with Kasnoff and the stupid divorce. By the time I realized what an idiot I was being, there was Simon."

Jack swallowed hard; even saying the other man's name was difficult.

"I _hated_ him, Carly, but not for the reasons you probably think. I saw how happy he made you before things, um, got out of control. The smile you would give him when he walked into a room…that was _my_ smile; it belonged to me. Every time I saw you kiss him or touch him, I felt like someone was stabbing me in the heart. But I never told you that, did I? I mean, I tried that one day but by then it was too late. I had pushed you away when you needed me the most. Then when you left with him, I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if I had fought for you harder. That day in the police station, all I wanted to do was hold onto you and never let you go. I meant what I said then, that I never should have left you and the kids."

Taking a deep breath, Jack looked up at the florescent lights in the ceiling before letting the breath out in a long sigh. He thought about what he had felt the day she returned to Milltown and he had laid eyes her again, wearing that ridiculous sweatshirt and looking more hesitant than he had ever seen her. She had taken his breath away for more reasons that he could ever admit. Beyond the confusion, the anger, and the shock, the overwhelming emotion he had felt had been joy. Yet the rational side of him had found himself arresting her, even as his heart protested the action every single step of the way.

Jack stopped his line of thinking and roughly wiped at his eyes with the back of his hands, still never releasing Carly from his grip.

"Okay, this isn't going the way I wanted it to. Past mistakes are just that, in the past. And from now on that's where they're going to stay. Now, I can't say that I won't ever get jealous or that I won't ever get so angry over something that we end up in a screaming match. I can't give those guarantees; no one can."

Jack looked into Carly's peaceful face and leaned forward slightly.

"But I know this, Baby. I know that the love I have for you will never, _ever_ go away. If you ever feel like that's not true or that things are starting to head back the way they were, I want you to tell me, okay? You are the part of my soul that completes me, Carly. I don't know who I am without you."

An overpowering need to be closer to her swept over him and Jack stood up abruptly.

"Move over, you're hogging the bed." Jack said quietly and fixing the blankets back down over her feet again, he gently bumped his hip to hers as he climbed in with her. Adjusting her so that she was curled into his side, with her head pillowed on his chest, Jack gathered Carly close. Continuously mindful of the wires attached to her body, he laced his fingers with hers and leaned his head back against the hospital bed's headboard.

"I miss hearing your voice, you know? Even when you yell at me. I miss hearing it say my name in only the way that you can. I miss holding you when we sleep, the smell of your hair invading my nose when we spoon together. I miss arguing over who has to take the kids to their never ending after school stuff and who's actually responsible for the amount of junk food in the pantry. I miss the way that you can make me realize that being fifteen minutes late for work is not always a bad thing when there's a good enough reason to stay in bed."

Grinning, Jack bent his head to press his cheek against Carly's soft curls but his smile soon turned into a frown.

"I'm a proud and stubborn man, Carly. I always have been and I always will be. I can't change that. But I realized that those two traits are something we have in common. Only you directed them towards the belief that our love was something that we couldn't deny, while I channeled mine into trying to believe that it was something that we _had_ to deny to survive. And even though I finally realized that you were right, I'm worried that it might be too late."

Jack shook his head quickly, gripping her hand tighter and hurriedly adding, "Not that I blame you. The truth is that I know that I haven't shown you lately any real reason to trust in me when I say that it's going to be okay this time. But here's the thing, Beautiful, I'm not going_ anywhere_. I will wait for however long it takes until you realize this and come back to me. You were my true north once when I was lost and didn't know my way home. So when you're ready… I'll be yours, okay? You follow my voice and you come home to me and the kids."

"And you need to know that when you do wake up and come home, we'll start from here; from now. We'll build our future, together, for today and all those tomorrows we promised each other so long ago. God, I love you so much, Carly." Jack said and then pressing his lips to her hair he closed his eyes, gently pulling her closer into his embrace.

He realized that he had run out of words to say and in the following silence he began to unconsciously start humming under his breath. Jack even didn't recognize the tune until he was a few bars in, but then let out a small tearful chuckle and continued aloud.

"The best is yet to come and babe won't it be fine. The best is yet to come, come the day you're mine." He sang softly and then chuckled again, before slipping back into humming.

Jack must have fallen asleep humming to her because the next thing he knew the sun had gone down and there was another blanket draped over the two of them. One of the night nurses, who were very used to seeing him in bed with her, must have covered them up at some point. As he gently extricated himself from Carly's bed, he smiled down at her and kissed her softly before stretching. Upon discovering that he had an enormous crick in his neck, he also noted that he had a very full bladder and began to move towards the bathroom.

A rustling noise made him look over his shoulder, but all he saw was the extra blanket slowly sliding off the edge of the bed from where he had haphazardly thrown it back. Jack glanced at Carly and smiled softly, thinking that she looked just like Sleeping Beauty out of that fairy tale storybook that he used to read to Sage nightly. He shook his head before once more heading towards the bathroom, making a mental note to pick up the blanket on his return trip. But then the sound came again, only this time it was followed by something strong enough to create a small echo in the dimmed hospital room.

"Jack?"

His entire body froze mid-step and in an excruciatingly slow movement he turned around. This time when he looked back at Carly, a pair of slightly groggy blue eyes stared back at him; blue eyes that he had only seen in his dreams for the past month.

"Car…" Jack tried to speak but found that his voice stopped midway through her name.

It didn't matter, because the small unsteady smile that he received would have taken away his ability to speak anyway. When she lifted a weak hand in his direction, Jack found himself by her bed and clutching it within a heartbeat. His eyes roamed over her face intently, trying to frantically sort out if he was really awake or not.

"Please, _please_, tell me I'm not dreaming." He said, his voice so hushed it was practically a whisper. He was afraid to speak normally just in case he was still asleep and speaking louder would jerk him back to a reality where he was once again without her. "Say it again. Say anything. I don't care. I just…I need to hear you again."

To his own ears he was making no sense whatsoever, but Carly just smiled once more. With the hand that wasn't desperately enclosed between his two, she slowly reached up to touch his face.

"It's okay, G-man."

The sound of his nickname on her lips again, however hoarse and quiet, was his undoing. Collapsing into the chair that was still pulled up next to her bed from earlier, Jack dropped his head so that his forehead rested on her left thigh.

"Oh, God. Oh, God, Carly." He managed to get out before his voice left him again, hot tears stinging his eyes as he pulled their joined hands to his mouth. He gasped back a sob and then began raining kisses down on her knuckles.

The touch of her other hand coming to rest gently on his hair caused a shudder to go through him, but it was the quiet words that accompanied the gesture that opened the floodgates and allowed the relief and exhilaration to pour out of him in a stream of seemingly never-ending tears.

_"It's okay. I'm home."_


	62. Reunions Are Like Moments In Heaven

**Author's Note: Hey everyone, sorry for the lack of update. Hope you all had a great holiday! We're finally in the last stages of this story and I really want everyone to enjoy them so please let me know by reviewing okay? :)  
~JP  
PS-Queen, adjust your PM settings so I can reply to you, k? :)**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven."  
__~Tryon Edwards  
_************************************************************************************************************************************************

It had been three days since Carly had first opened her eyes and spoken to Jack.

At first he had been alarmed when, just after she had spoken, she seemed to fall right back asleep. Jack had frantically called for Lee but when the doctor had come in to check Carly, he was able to rouse her again right away.

After a brief examination, and with barely concealed relief, Lee had explained that they would run some tests but for the most part her memory was intact and her vitals were good. He also explained that for the first few days, Carly would probably only be awake in spurts as most people did _not_ awaken from comas and immediately jump back into their lives as shown in television shows and movies for dramatic effect.

So for almost 72 hours, Jack sat by Carly's bed and waited for the moments she would open her beautiful blue eyes. Like Lee had said, it was usually for only a few minutes or, at maximum, an hour at a time and more often than not she didn't speak at all. She would only smile at him as he filled her in on as many details as he could before she would blink sleepily and she was off in dreamland again.

Some would have found it frustrating but to Jack…it was sheer heaven.

Jack had told the children about Carly's opening her eyes the evening it had happened but, as harsh as it may seem to some, he had forbidden them to see her until Lee gave the all clear. He couldn't risk getting their hopes up if she had slipped back into her coma especially since if that had happened he, himself, didn't know what he would do.

But by late Wednesday morning, Carly had stayed awake for over three and a half hours straight and showed no sign of drowsiness, therefore causing Lee to declare her well enough to have visitors other than Jack. Which was why, he was now in the adjacent sitting room of the hospital's luxury suite trying to explain the rules about seeing Carly once again to three very anxious kids.

"And if she looks like she's getting tired…" Jack said, holding Sage's hands in his own as she shifted in front of him impatiently.

"…then we have to leave, but we'll see her again later." J.J. finished for him and sighed with annoyance. "We know, Dad!"

"We just...please…we just wanna see her now." Parker said and Jack sighed, reaching over to place a hand on Parker's cheek.

"I know. I'm sorry." He said, giving them an apologetic smile. "Okay, let's go see your mom."

They silently followed Jack into the room but stopped upon seeing Carly propped up in bed with her eyes closed, looking absolutely no different than any of the other times they had come to visit. Three pairs of accusing eyes looked from her still body to Jack until a shifting noise came from the bed.

Carly blinked slowly and then fully opened her eyes, sending a beaming smile in their direction.

"Hey, guys." She said softly and lifted her left arm up to wave them over. "Come here and say hello to me!"

Parker and J.J. instantaneously walked over and each gave her a long hug, soaking up the comfort that her presence gave off.

"Mom, you scared us shit…" J.J. said and then at a quick jab in the ribs from Parker, quickly changed his wording. "We were worried."

"I know. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this." Carly said, frowning as she saw the fear and anxiety flicker on her son's faces that they immediately tried to hide again.

"You're really okay though, right? Like, you're not gonna go back into…" Parker trailed off and Carly shook her head.

"No, all of my tests have come back with good results. I might be a little weak for a while but Lee says he thinks that if I keep up my physical therapy daily that I might even be able to go home in about another week or so."

Parker's whole body seemed to sag with relief and he gave the first real smile that Jack had seen in over a month.

"That's great, Mom, really." Parker said, words not able to express how truly happy he was to hear that.

Carly smiled at him but her attention had shifted to where Sage was still hovering a few feet away from the bed, holding on to Jack's hand like she had on her first day of kindergarten.

"Hey, Sage. Where's the love from my girl, huh?"

Sage frowned and shifted on her feet but didn't speak, even when Jack nudged her forward. She stiffened and only moved a few inches before rooting to the ground again.

Carly frowned again and a troubling thought popped into her head.

"Sage, it's…it's okay if you're mad at me, you know? About what happened. Even though I didn't mean to get so sick, I know it must have been pretty scary for you."

Sage's eyes widened and she shook her head fiercely. "I'm not mad. I just…"

She stopped as her apprehensive gaze traveled over Carly's body and the wires still attached to her. Carly felt her heart squeeze and smiled reassuringly as she gestured to the monitors.

"Sage, what I told your brothers is true. I'm not going to fall back into the coma again. These are just to make sure that my body is back to doing everything that it's supposed to do."

She tilted her head and lifted a hand out to her daughter. "You won't hurt me. I promise."

Sage hesitated again for a brief moment before taking Carly's hand in hers.

"See? I'm here. I'm okay." Carly said, slowly pulling Sage closer to her. Holding on tightly to her mother's hand, the girl tentatively reached out to touch Carly's arm then moved up to her shoulder, and then to feel the edge of her jawbone with feather light contact.

When Carly reached up to place her other hand on Sage's cheek, a flood of emotions flashed in child's eyes.

"Mommy, I...." She whispered before almost launching herself into Carly's arms. Sobs of relief racked the girl's body as Carly held her close, murmuring soothing things into her ear, while her own tears made their way down her cheeks to land in her daughter's hair.

Carly should have known that it would have probably been hardest on Sage. While she was eleven and the youngest, it was so much more than that. Their daughter could be as stubborn as the day was long, a trait inherited from both sides of the fence, but Sage was also an extremely sensitive soul, especially when it came to her parents. She seemed to be interconnected to the two of them in a way that couldn't be explained. It had been that way almost from the moment she was born in a tiny cabin in Montana with only Carly and Jack as witnesses.

"Well, if you couldn't tell, we missed you." Jack joked after a minute or two, trying to lighten the mood even as he forced tears back.

It did the trick because they all laughed quietly and Sage finally let go of Carly. Although the girl didn't go far, hovering by the head of the bed and keeping a tight grip on one of Carly's hands as if to continuously assure herself that her mom was really there.

"So have you seen Emmy yet?" J.J. asked and Carly shook her head.

"No, not yet. Lee said that I might be able to later this afternoon if I take a nap." She answered and made a face, causing Sage to giggle and the boys to smile, relaxing them even more.

"Knock, knock." Molly's voice rang out as her head popped into the room from the door that led directly to the hospital hallway. "Is this a private party or can anyone join?"

Carly's face lit up at the sight of her cousin and she grinned. "I guess we can make an exception for family."

"How about two exceptions?" Molly said, tugging Mattie in from behind her.

"Of course. I said family, didn't I?" Carly said and Mattie grinned as she made her way over to give Carly a gentle hug.

"Hiya!" Mattie said, pulling back to look Carly over. "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good, I think, for someone who's missed a month of living in the real world." Carly joked and Mattie stepped back to allow Molly to hug Carly as well.

"Welcome back, Cuz." Molly said and then added. "Don't you _ever_ do that again, understand?"

To everyone's ears the scolding came off as playful, but Carly could hear the undertone of the worry and genuineness behind her cousin's words.

"I won't." Carly promised, closing her eyes as she hugged Molly just as hard.

Molly let go and gave Carly a sisterly kiss before taking a step back, swiping quickly at the few tears that had slipped through her perky façade.

The conversation quickly turned into a light game of catch-up in all the current events in Oakdale, or at least the PG rated ones since Sage was in the room. Towards the end, it centered on the start of the upcoming school year and the fact that Parker, J.J., _and_ Mattie had all found after school jobs.

"Are you sure this isn't going to interfere with your school work?" Carly asked, frowning at all three of them.

"No way, Mom, it's fine." J.J. said, waving a hand. "I am only going to be doing the paper work at the repair center and maybe a few tune ups with Mr. Garvey, if he lets me. He already told me that I can do my homework in the office on my down time if I need to and then I'll just finish when I get home."

"What about hockey?" Carly asked and J.J. shook his head.

"We don't get our schedules until the end of September. Mr. Garvey said we'll work something out when that happens."

"Hmm and what about you?" Carly said turning her head to look at Parker.

"Well my internship at the radio station helped a lot but I also wanted to try doing some work at WOAK to see if I liked film too. So I talked to Mrs. Hughes and she got me a job Mondays, Wednesdays, and some Thursdays, helping out the PR department."

"Well, that sounds like fun." Carly said, shooting a look to Jack who nodded to her, letting her know that he had checked both jobs out and they were okay. She smiled at him and then turned a raised eyebrow to Mattie.

The teenaged girl blankly looked back at Carly and then her eyes widened in surprise at the realization that Carly was checking up on her after-school job too.

"Oh, me?" Mattie asked, pointing to herself and Carly laughed.

"Yes, you! I want to know that I don't have to worry about your school work too." Carly said, but then grinned at Molly. "Although, I'm sure Molly checked over the job well enough already just so Lee didn't pitch a fit."

"Well she really didn't have to since she and Lily helped me get it." Mattie said and shared a look with the woman who had become a vital part of her and her uncle's life.

"What do you mean?" Carly asked, bewildered and Mattie laughed.

"I'm going to be helping Mr. Snyder, I mean Holden, with the horses at Mrs. Sny…um Aunt Emma's…farm." Mattie said, correcting herself with the names that she had been told to call them now. "I don't even want to _think_ about what would happen if Aunt Emma thought that I was skipping out on my homework. Parker has told me enough war stories, thank you _very much._"

Parker just shrugged with a smile when they looked at him and then they all burst out laughing, knowing that it was true. Emma Snyder was someone you did _not_ want to cross if you didn't have to, especially when it came to the importance of school and planning out your future.

"Hey, what did I say about not having a party in here until _after_ I'm done my shift?" Lee said, walking in and glaring playfully at everyone. They all smiled at him and Molly walked over to kiss him hello.

"Yeah, well, who listens to you anyway? It's not like you've got an important job around here or anything." She said impishly and he narrowed his eyes at her before leaning in to nip at her nose.

"Yeah, yeah." Lee said but then turned semi-serious. "But I'm afraid that I _am_ going to have to break this up."

"Oh Lee, not yet." Carly pleaded, her eyes scanning the room filled with faces that she had missed terribly.

"Sorry, Luv, but if you want to make that special rendezvous I promised earlier than you need to get some rest." Lee said, shaking his head adamantly.

Carly let out a long sigh and Jack nodded discretely to Parker, who picked up on his cue immediately.

"No, it's okay, Mom. We'll come back tomorrow." Parker said, shooting Sage and J.J. a similar look to the one that Jack had just sent him. "Won't we, guys?"

"Yeah, Mom." J.J. said, leaning over to kiss her cheek. "You _do_ need your rest. Didn't you say once that good patients are supposed to take naps so they can get better faster?"

"Yeah, I think she did. It was followed by bribery in the form of popsicles if I remember right." Parker chimed in and Carly rolled her eyes.

"Okay, when I told you that, you guys that you were still in elementary school and hit me with a double case of the flu. If I hadn't gotten you to nap somehow, I _probably_ would have gone insane." Carly said, shooting them both a look but her lips quirked up in a smile anyway.

"Eh, still applies, right?" J.J. said and Parker nodded along with his brother.

Jack grinned, throwing his arm around his sons' shoulders and ruffling their hair, in spite of their loud groans of protest.

"Definitely applies." Jack agreed and then changed his face into a mask of absolute innocence when Carly turned her glare on him.

Although she had watched the amusing exchange with a small smile, it was obvious that Sage was hesitant to leave Carly's side again. However, looking at the reassuring faces of Lee and Jack, she gave in with a sigh.

"We'll come back first thing in the morning, Mommy. We promise." Sage said, her eyes flickering to Jack and receiving a smile that assured her that it would be so.

"Oh and when I come see you tomorrow, I'll show you the scrapbook that Aunt Emma and I have been making for you about Emmy." She added, her face perking up at the thought. "Okay?"

"Sounds perfect." Carly said and then smiled tearfully at all three of her older children. "Okay, then, I'll see you tomorrow."

Molly and Mattie also said their goodbyes, before Molly ushered them all towards the door offering to take them to lunch at Al's Diner.

"Love you, Mommy." Sage said, pausing by the door to look back at Carly one last time.

"I love you too, Sweetie. Always and forever." Carly said and blew her a kiss. Sage's eyes filled with tears as she finally got the answer that she had been hoping to hear every other time she had left Carly's hospital room during the past month. Waving goodbye again, she slipped out into the hall with the rest of the kids.

Molly paused before she left and looked back at Carly.

"I'll come back later tonight, Cuz, okay?"

"That'd be great." Carly said and smiled at Jack who had moved to sit next to her again. "It'll give Jack a chance to go home and get some sleep…and maybe a shower."

The man in discussion looked like he was about to protest but he saw the stubbornness in Carly's eyes that made him sigh with resignation.

"Was that a hint that I smell bad?" Jack asked with overplayed indignation and she gave a small shrug.

"Well…you're no rose." Carly said and when he scrunched up his nose at her she just smiled as innocently as he had before and turned her attention back to Molly.

"Besides, my cousin and I have _a lot_ to talk about." Carly added, having noticed the three stone diamond engagement ring that sat on Molly's left ring finger replacing the one that Lily had loaned her in court that day. It hadn't been a topic of discussion earlier, and Carly was itching to know the details. "Right?"

"Right." Molly agreed and then gave the signature impish grin that seemed to be genetic in their family. "Maybe I'll even sneak you in some _real_ food from La Bella Luna."

At the mention of her favorite Italian restaurant, Carly's mouth watered and she could almost smell the chicken alfredo pasta dish that she knew would be coming her way tonight. She sent Molly a conspiratorial wink, as Lee finally shooed her out the door along with a quick kiss goodbye.

"You are such a party pooper. I'm not even tired." Carly muttered even as she found herself fighting back a yawn midway through her sentence.

"Uh huh, right." Lee said, rolling his eyes. Turning to Jack he pointed a finger at him. "I'm leaving her in your care, Soldier. Make sure she gets at least two hours of rest or else _you're_ the one I'm sticking with a two-inch long needle."

"You got, Doc." Jack said, playfully saluting Lee and causing Carly to roll her own eyes.

"Fabulous. I'm unconscious for a month and you two become Laurel and Hardy."

Jack and Lee exchanged grin before Lee went over Carly's chart a final time and left the room as well.

"Come on, Babe. You heard the man. You need to get at least two hours and then you get to go meet our baby girl." Jack said, lifting the blankets to begin to tuck her in.

"I know, I can't wait." Carly said, her eyes shining with excitement. "I don't know how I'll ever fall asleep."

Jack watched her try to hold back another yawn as her eyes drooped and then sprung open again. He couldn't help but smile since she looked exactly like Emmy did when _she_ tried to fight sleep after her feedings. Truth was, Jack also couldn't wait to watch the reunion between mother and child especially since he had dreamed of little else for just over a month.

"Hmm, somehow I think you'll do just fine." He said, smiling tenderly as he brushed a finger down her cheek.

"Jack," Carly said softly, catching his wrist and blinking drowsily at him. "Will you lay with me?"

"You don't even have to ask." Jack said, leaning forward to kiss her softly. Helping her shift over in the bed, he carefully climbed in with her and soon she was curled into his side and wrapped in his embrace.

"I missed this; your arms around me." Carly said, her voice barely above a whisper as she felt sleep beginning to claim her. Although she was never one to have trouble falling asleep, she never slept as deeply or as peacefully as she did when she was being held by Jack.

"Me too, Baby. More than I could ever explain." Jack said, kissing her head before snuggling closer. "And I am_ never_ letting you go again."

But he could tell by the sound of her even breathing that she had already fallen asleep by the time he had even finished his sentence. It didn't faze him, however, because he knew that he would have plenty of time to prove it to her.

Holding her close, Jack let his own eyes drift shut and he promptly followed her lead, falling fast asleep.


	63. A Child Is Your External Heart

**Author's Note: So sorry that I had you guys wait so long for an update (and thank you so much to the ones who gave me a nice reminder that I had wonderful fan waiting). Real life got slightly hectic and I was swept up in it like we all tend to do sometimes. So I hope you accept my apology and to show my good faith, I might just post the next chapter by the end of the week...maybe. LOL**

**As always...ENJOY!  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."  
~Elizabeth Stone_

************************************************************************************************************************************************

"Tell me, again, _why_ I have to be in this stupid thing?" Carly said with a huff, crossing her arms as she sat fuming in the wheelchair.

"Because I said so." Lee replied simply as he strolled next to them while Jack pushed the wheelchair down the hallway towards the NICU.

"Yeah…try again." Carly sniped and glared at him.

"Because _I_ said so?" Jack said, half-joking, half serious. The highly un-amused glare that Carly turned on him would have melted the polar ice caps. "…or not."

"I'm fine! I can walk! I've been doing it for_ quite_ some time now!" Carly argued and struggled to stand up so she could walk in to see her new child on her own two feet. Jack's hand landed on her shoulder and with a loving, but firm pressure, he pushed her back into the seat.

Lee exchanged an exasperated look with Jack and then bent down to Carly's level as Jack paused the wheelchair just outside of the NICU doors.

"Look, Luv, I know you feel better than you did yesterday and a million times better than you did on Monday, but the truth is, you just woke up from a _coma_. Walking around will put too much strain on your unused muscles and possibly elevate your blood pressure and heart rate." Lee said and Carly looked away, knowing inside that he was right but still not wanting to hear anymore. And she sure as hell wasn't going to mention now, that when she tried to stand, her legs _had _screamed in pain and her heart _had_ begun to pound

Lee glared at her reaction to his admonishing and continued.

"You are_ not_ superwoman. You need to let your body rest and listen to the advice of your doctors if you want to be able to go home and be with your family."

Lee's tone became very stern and even though she still would not meet his gaze he knew he had her full attention. His next words drew Jack's attention as well.

"I am your friend, but most importantly I am a doctor. If I find that you are pushing yourself too hard or ignoring the advice of my medical staff, I can and I _will_ restrict your visitors including your children. They have waited far too long to have your stubbornness ruin any progress and destroy their hope of having you come home soon. Do you understand me?"

When Carly finally let herself look into Lee's face she saw, for the first time in almost a year, the full professional looking back at her. While there was definitely compassion in his eyes, his entire bearing read how incredibly serious he really was.

Carly looked up at Jack and could tell by his face that while he wasn't happy about what Lee had just said, he would back him up if it came down to it. Knowing that all they wanted was for her to get well, she sighed.

"I just…I wanted it to be normal the first time I held her, you know? Not sitting in some wheelchair." Carly said, hitting the arms of the chair in frustration.

"Carly, she's barely a month old! She's not gonna realize that you aren't up to doing jumping jacks beside her bed." Jack said, slipping to replace Lee in front of her. He took her hands in his and kissed her knuckles. "All she's gonna know is that she's being held by her mother and that she's safe and loved."

"She's not going to know I'm her mother. Like you said, she's only a month old and I haven't been there. I just hope I still remember what to do." Carly said and gave him another look but he could see that this time it was just nerves doing the talking.

"Trust me, babe. Emmy will know. And so will you." Jack said and leaning forward kissed her forehead before standing to go behind the wheelchair again. "So let's go. Onward and upward."

A moment later, they entered the NICU when the doors opened with a buzz.

Jack heard Carly's soft intake of breath and ran a comforting hand over her hair while they paused to let her take it all in. Both he and Lee had tried to prepare her for what it was going to be like, but they knew from experience that no one could really be ready for the sight of the NICU.

"I'm okay." Carly whispered and Jack pushed her back towards the guest of honor. But when they got there, the little bassinet with soft pink blanket inside was empty.

"Where is she?" Carly asked, reaching forward to touch the side of the clear incubator, a bit of panic on her face. "Where's my daughter?"

Jack looked at Lee who shared his expression of concern as they helped Carly transfer from the wheelchair to the rocking chair by Emmy's bedside.

Lee had purposefully called up to let them know they were coming and so this was not making either of them happy. Jack was about to go hunt someone down when suddenly one of the nurses appeared with a small wrapped bundle in her arms. The pretty brunette looked up from her precious cargo to see them all staring at her.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Dr. Reynolds! We know you wanted to have Emmy waiting but _someone_ had a slightly explosive diaper incident and we had to give her an emergency bath."

They let out small chuckles, mainly out of relief, and Jack stepped forward with his arms outstretched to take his daughter from her.

"Thanks, Allie. Not going to lie to you, we were a little worried." He said as he looked down at a freshly scrubbed Emmy.

"Well, I'm not going to lie to _you _Detective Snyder." Allie said, tucking a piece of the blanket away from the baby's face. "The day you guys take this sweetie pie home, you might have to pat all the nurses down to make sure we didn't hide her from you."

Allie seemed to notice Carly for the first time and her bright smile turned up a watt.

"You're Carly, right?" At Carly's nod, Allie stuck out her hand. "I'm so glad to see you're feeling better. Detective Snyder and your kids have done nothing but talk about how much they missed you and how exited they were when you woke up."

"Thanks, I missed them too." Carly said, fully meaning it but her eyes hadn't strayed from the infant in Jack's arms for more than two seconds. Allie saw this and ducked her head to hide her chuckle.

"I'm going to go and let you get acquainted with your daughter." Allie said and then with a small waved walked away.

Jack turned to Carly who immediately put her arms out and wiggled her fingers in his direction, not able to hold back any longer.

"Give her to me…_please_."

Without hesitation, Jack placed a wide-eyed Emma Rose Snyder into the waiting arms of her mother. Blue eyes stared up into blue and it was as if all time stopped just to witness this one moment.

Carefully laying the baby down on her thighs, Carly slowly began to unwrap the pink receiving blanket around her daughter's tiny body. As if sensing her mother's need to do this, Emmy stayed surprisingly quiet and still. The temperature in the NICU was slightly higher than most rooms, not to mention that Carly didn't intend to keep her daughter outside of her cocoon for long so both Lee and Jack just let her do what she had to do.

Gently caressing the small limbs in a ritual that Carly had missed out on a month ago, she counted the 10 little fingers and 10 little toes and inhaled the soft sweet smell of her baby. Emmy endured it for as long as she must have deemed necessary but a few moments later she scrunched up her petite face and started to voice her discomfort. With a combination of natural and practiced ease, Carly re-swaddled her quickly and held her close to her chest to quiet her again. It worked like a charm and Emmy seemed content to just be held and listen to the sound of the heartbeat near her ear.

"God, she's so perfect." Carly breathed slowly, tracing her fingertips over Emmy's soft cheek. "She looks just like Sage did."

"You think so?" Jack said, squinting at the baby in Carly's arms and then smiling as she let out a long yawn. "I think she looks just like you; absolutely gorgeous."

Carly sent him a look to show that she was not impressed by his flattery but he could see the sparkle in her eyes before she turned back to Emmy.

"Well, who do we have here?" Helen said, coming over to join them and grinning down at Carly. "You _must_ be Mommy. Emmy looks just like you."

Jack looked at Carly and she rolled her eyes at the victorious expression on his face. Looking at Helen, she nodded.

"I'm…" She started to say but Helen shook her head.

"No introductions necessary. I'm Helen, Carly. It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

"Oh!" Carly said, finally making the connection to the woman in front of her and the stories that Jack had been telling her the past few days. A lump filled her throat as she tried to find the right words to tell Helen just how grateful she was that she had watched over family for her. But again, Helen just shook her head and placed a hand over one of Carly's own, giving it a light squeeze.

Helen looked at Lee and squinted her eyes. "Don't you have some rounds to do, Dr. Reynolds?"

Lee's own eyes widened and then he chuckled. "Yes ma'am."

With a wave and an air kiss sent in Emmy and Carly's direction, he headed out with a promise to check in on her later.

"Think you can teach me to do that?" Carly said, grinning up at the matronly woman in front of her.

"Sure thing. Just gotta have some iron in your voice and a secret chocolate cake recipe passed down by my great-grandmother." Helen said with a wink and Carly laughed. Emmy made a noise and began to wiggle in Carly's arms, who instinctively began to rock and hold her closer.

"I think someone is getting hungry." Carly said not noticing the look of satisfaction that Jack and Helen gave each other.

"I was just going to suggest that I go get one of her bottles." Helen said and slipped off to do just that.

"So much for worrying that you're not going to know what to do." Jack said, crouching down so that he was level with Emmy and Carly.

Carly looked at him in surprise and then blinked. "I guess so."

"I was too late." Helen said returning not five seconds later with a warmed bottle in her hands. "One of the nurses in Emmy's fan club had one ready to go."

Carly laughed and accepted the bottle from Helen, letting Emmy latch on to suck greedily. They all watched her eat for a minute before Helen broke the silence.

"Carly, there is something we need to discuss and if you want Jack here, that's up to you but it is a rather delicate subject to some women."

Carly looked at Jack, who wore a confused expression, but she had a feeling of what was coming and wasn't ashamed to have him hear it at all.

"No, it's okay." Carly said, keeping an eye on the amount of formula Emmy was drinking before she needed to be burped. Jack had been right; it was like riding a bike.

"As you know, having been in a coma for the past month, your natural milk supply has dried up. However, if you still would like to try to breastfeed Emmy, there is a process called re-lactation." Helen said and, paused to let Carly shift Emmy in order to burp her and then continued. "While it's been very successful, I don't want to give you a false picture. The re-lactation process is not easy; it can be relatively painful for the mother and frustrating in the beginning for everyone involved."

Carly looked down at the little girl who had begun eating again, her eyes starting to droop as her stomach filled. She knew that babies who were bottle fed were every bit as happy and healthy as babies who were breastfed. That debate had never been one that she felt she needed to weigh in on since she considered the only end result that mattered in both methods a happy and healthy _child_. It was a personal choice and Carly respected every mother to do what she felt was best for _her_ and _her_ child.

"I want to do it, but if it looks like it's impeding Emmy's progress at _any_ point I'll stop." Carly said, burping Emmy one last time and then rocking her gently. She watched as Emmy finally drifted into the sleep she had adorably been trying to fight during the last ounce or so.

"Are you sure?" Helen said and Carly nodded without delay. "Okay, then when you get back to your room I'll have Dr. Schiller come down to give you a shot of the hormone that's used in the procedure and I'll be down with a lactation nurse to talk to you about what's going to happen in the next few weeks."

"Thank you." Carly said and when she looked up, Helen knew that it wasn't just for the information she had just given her. "For everything."

"No need, my dear." Helen said and then with a smile she looked over as a nurse called her name. "I have to go, but you enjoy the rest of your visit and I'll see you later this evening."

Jack and Carly both said their goodbyes to her and soon it was just the three of them in Emmy's little corner of the NICU.

"So, what do you think?" Jack said and Carly frowned at him. "Think she's a keeper for the Snyder family?"

Carly looked down at the sleeping miracle in her arms and grinned up at him again when Emmy let out a soft snort in her sleep followed by a small noise from the opposite end. A tiny smile appeared on her cupid's bow-like lips, seemingly completely self-satisfied with herself and somehow Carly knew that _this _one was going to give her and Jack a run for their money every step of the way.

Carly chuckled softly and settled in to the rocking chair, laying her head on Jack's shoulder as he pulled up another chair to sit close to them.

"Oh, I think she'll fit in _just_ fine."


	64. Pleasantries of Coming Home

**Author's Note: I told you it'd be up by the end of the week and _technically_ Sunday is the end of the week so I'm even a day early! This chapter actually took me a while since there is a conversation in it at the end that I wanted to get just right. You'll know it when you read it and I really hope I achieved my goal of staying true to the characters and this journey I have taken them on. You can always let me know by hitting that nice little review button!!**

Once again (and always)...ENJOY!  
~JP

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_There's nothing half as pleasant as coming home again."  
~Margaret Elizabeth Sangster  
_************************************************************************************************************************************************

Almost a week later, as he walked briskly down the hospital hallway on the way to Carly's room, Jack found himself careening into another solid figure as they came around the corner. Stumbling back, Jack started to apologize and then stopped when he saw that it was Lee who was trying to right himself too.

"Oh, it's you." Jack said and Lee rolled his eyes as he adjusted his lab coat.

"Yeah, don't worry about keeping up with the apology, mate. When I'm done my shift I'll just check myself in for a concussion."

Jack gave a small smirk. "Sorry, guess I wasn't paying attention."

"Any particular reason?" Lee asked and they both started walking again.

"Dr. Maynard is examining Emmy this afternoon to check her progress." Jack said, the small frown on his face the only indication that he was at all worried.

"Ah, I see." Lee said and pushed open the door to Carly's room.

"Hey, you two." Carly said her eyes widening in happiness at the sight of them both. "Double teaming me now?"

Jack went over to kiss her hello on her cheek and then straightened up immediately, as if just realizing that Lee had accompanied him into the room.

"Yeah, what_ are_ you doing here?" Jack asked and Lee chuckled.

"Well, I consulted with all of Carly's doctors, including the physical therapist this morning." Lee said, holding up Carly's file in his hands. Both Carly and Jack's eyes followed the movement before looking back into his face.

"And…?" Carly said, hesitantly.

"_And_, you are making an incredibly fast recovery. So fast, in fact, that we've decided you're too healthy to stay here any longer." Lee said, smiling at them. "So you and your daughter are being released Friday afternoon."

"Oh my God, that's amazing!" Jack said and hugged Carly happily.

"I can't believe I get to go home and…" Carly trailed off at the same time that Jack stopped grinning at her. They both turned to Lee with wide eyes and bewildered expressions.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that please?" Carly asked and Lee laughed. He had wondered if they had heard him and when it would sink in.

"You _and_ Emmy are going home on Friday."

"But…Dr. Maynard wasn't supposed to do his exam until this afternoon." Jack said, exchanging a confused but hopeful look with Carly.

"I kind of convinced him to do it early this morning without telling you, in case it didn't go the way I thought it would. However, Emmy passed with flying colors." Lee said and grinned at his friends. "Congratulations. In exactly three days, you're both sprung."

After letting them celebrate the news another moment, Lee cleared his throat to get their attention again.

"Now there are some things that we need to discuss so…" Lee trailed off and looked at Jack then back to Carly.

"No, it's okay. Full disclosure with Jack." Carly said, realizing that Lee was hinting at doctor-patient confidentiality.

"Okay, just wanted to make sure." Lee said, nodding. It was what he had expected but as a doctor he needed the patient to verbalize.

"As you know, due to the conditions that happened with you gave birth, you required minor surgery to stop the internal hemorrhaging. Now when I say minor, that term is just in the view of the medical world. To your body, however, it was anything _but _minor. Even being in a coma and lying still for a month, the situation was severely traumatic and your body needs more rest, even if your brain does not. Therefore while light exercise is allowed such as walking, maybe some light jogging, and some minor light weight-lifting, certain activities are restricted for at least another six to eight weeks until your inner muscles have had a chance to heal properly. These things include running, hiking, excessive swimming, biking, and other various…jarring….activities."

Lee cleared his throat again and raised an eyebrow. He knew that Carly and Jack understood his meaning immediately by the blushes crossing their faces.

"Right." Carly said curtly and Lee nodded, moving on.

"Your physical therapy has been amazing. Your muscle tone is almost back to where it was prior to your coma which, frankly, has your physical therapist a little stunned." Lee said chuckling and Carly shrugged.

"What can I say? I'm a medical anomaly. Cute, funny, and invincible." She joked and he grinned, while Jack just nudged her and rolled his eyes.

"Okay, Wonder Woman, let's call our mutant offspring at home and give them the good news."

The "good news" spread quickly and by the time the big moment arrived Carly's room was filled with flowers and cards congratulating her on being able to go home. In fact, after Carly had chosen the few favorites that she wanted to come home with her and they had distributed the extras to other patients around the hospital, Carly's official release time had come and gone by a good hour.

The half hour they all spent retrieving Emmy from the pediatric ward just about wore everyone out, emotionally and physically. As Jack and Carly signed the last of the formal paperwork, Parker held tight to his baby sister's carrier like a guard dog. Sage and J.J. surrounded them, eyeing everyone who even dared to look Emmy's way with wary eyes letting them know that if they wanted to get through to the baby with their germs, they had another thing coming.

Ushering them all to the car that Jack had pulled up out front, Lee saw them off personally and promised to visit soon before disappearing back into the hospital. Carly looked over at Jack as he buckled himself in and started their new Acura MDX, checking in the rearview mirror to make sure everyone was ready to go. Jack had leased it just last week with the arguement that they needed a new car that could fit all of them and that he gotten an extremely good deal on it due to a friend of Bonnie McKechnie's at the car dealership.

"Home, James." Carly said, adopting a pretty bad English accent but the grin on her face made her look utterly adorable so she was instantly forgiven.

"As you wish, my lady." Jack replied in his best chauffer voice and pulled out into the mid-day traffic.

"Mommy, did you see the outfit that Emmy has on?" Sage said, peeking into the carrier as they drove home. Carly glanced at Jack with a smile and then turned around towards the backseats.

Sage and J.J. sat on either side of the car seat while Parker lounged out across the entire third row of the SUV. Since the baby's carrier faced the rear of the vehicle, he had been making funny faces at Emmy for most of the car ride home, ignoring J.J. when he had informed him that Emmy probably couldn't even see his face let alone understand that he was trying to be funny. But now he was silently watching the scenery pass by the window which lead Carly to assume that Emmy had probably fallen asleep.

"Mommy?" Sage called her again and Carly refocused on her daughter. "Did you see?"

"Only a quick peek, Honey, why?"

"Don't you recognize it? You designed it! Miss Monique sent it for her from the line you created." Sage said happily, lightly tracing the fingers of one of Emmy's hands.

"Great! That just means that she's wearing something that normally costs more than a car payment just to spit up on." Parker said from the back and J.J. snickered, even as Sage glared at the two to them.

"Hey!" She said, making sure she didn't speak too loudly but the ire in her voice came through enough.

"Enough, guys." Carly said and smiled at Sage. "That was really nice of her. I'll have to thank her when I call her see how everything is going with the line."

"Don't worry, Carly, I'm sure your collection is still all the rage." Jack said and Carly settled back into the passenger seat, trying not to chuckle at his outdated turn of phrase.

"Thank you, Jack." She said, but some of the amusement that she was feeling must have slipped into her voice because he sent her an odd look. Waving it off, she suddenly felt butterflies as she recognized that they were only a few streets away from Milltown.

"Oh…we're home." Carly said breathlessly and Jack reached over to squeeze her hand.

"Miss it?" He asked, rhetorically.

Carly couldn't answer but the tears that shone in her eyes and the small hitch in her breath when she nodded made him smile.

After pulling into the driveway, they all tumbled out of the car and up the walkway with Jack heading up the rear carrying Emmy's car seat.

Carly paused just outside the front door and pointed to a giant, pink, wooden, cutout teddy bear that was set up by the mailbox heralding little Emma's arrival to the world in big black lettering.

"Whose idea was _that_?" She asked, making a face, and all three kids pointed at Jack.

"His!" They chimed and Jack rolled his eyes.

"Thanks for the support, guys." He said gruffly and they all laughed as Carly unlocked and pushed open the front door.

"Surprise!"

She jumped, slightly startled, at the chorus of voices that greeted her. With wide eyes she surveyed the small group of people in her living room that consisted of Holden, Lily, their kids, Emma, Molly, Abigail, Mattie and surprisingly…Lee.

"We just left you! How in the world did you get here before us?" Carly asked when she reached him during her round of hugs. Emmy's carrier had already been snatched up by Lily and the baby was being cooed over by everyone else as they gathered close.

"I took the back roads…plus I was driving 'Eleanor'." Lee said grinning at her and then hugging her again. "I wasn't going to miss your homecoming, Luv."

"Hey, hey, hey! Watch those hands, buddy." Jack said, appearing to the right of them. However there was no animosity in his voice, merely a playful cadence, and both Carly and Lee smiled at him.

Before any of them could say anything else, though, Sage, Parker, and J.J. descended on them.

"Mom, you gotta come see my room." J.J. said, grabbing her hand like an excited 5 year old.

"Dude, _mine_ first. She's already seen your room." Parker said, with a face.

"Not since your smelly uh…butt…left." J.J. said, correcting himself before he cursed. Last thing he wanted was to get grounded the first day that Carly was home.

"No way! Mommy has to see the nursery first!" Sage said, grabbing Carly's other hand and gently tugging her towards the stairs.

"Okay, fine, but_ then_ my room." Parker said and led the way with J.J. and Sage practically dragging Carly behind them.

"Guys, take it easy on your mom, would ya?" Jack said, frowning as he watched the scene before him.

"No, Jack, it's okay." Carly said, shaking her head when the kids paused and looked her up and down hesitantly.

"Yeah, Dad, it's okay." J.J. said starting to tug again at her declaration that she was fine.

Sage nodded too and then gave Carly a light push onward as Parker took the lead, already back to chattering away about the changes they made in the house. Carly sent Jack an amused look over her shoulder, just before she disappeared up the stairs.

Twenty minutes later they all reappeared and Carly headed straight for him where he was putting out another bowl of Lily's famous seven-layer taco dip.

"So, what did you think?" Jack asked and she smiled.

"Everything looks great…especially that nice little 26 inch flat screen TV that has suddenly appeared on the bedroom wall of our barely eleven year old daughter." Carly said, her eyes narrowing.

"Oh, that." Jack chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, the boys each had a TV already and we did update everything in _their_ room and not hers and she was feeling a little left out so…"

"Uh-huh." Carly said, nodding her head along with his ramblings and crossing her arms over her chest. "So…basically she batted her eyelashes, called you the best Daddy ever, and you caved, right?"

"Um…yeah." Jack said, dropping his chin slightly and giving her a sheepish look with a small chuckle. "But at least I programmed that V-chip thing on it so we don't have to worry about what shows she's watching.

Lily suddenly called out to Carly and waved her over to join a discussion that she and Molly seemed to be having with Emma about cloth diapers versus disposable. Carly nodded back to them and turned to face Jack one last time.

"We'll talk about this _later_." Carly said her voice sounding stern but she had an amused twinkle in her eyes. Snagging a tortilla chip, she scooped it into the taco dip and gave him a pointed expression before heading over to join the others.

"Barely made it out of that one, huh mate?" Lee said, appearing at his side with Holden on his other, who offered his cousin a beer.

"Yeah…well…she hasn't seen the new 40 inch LCD that I got for the master bedroom yet." Jack said and the other two men cringed with shared male sympathies. Jack looked between the two of them and their uneasy expressions and shrugged. "_What_? They were having a huge sale!"

Holden and Lee just shook their heads and the topic of conversation quickly turned to the upcoming NFL season and the odds of Jack still being able to watch it on that nice, brand new, TV once Carly found out.

Forty-five minutes later Jack looked around the room and frowned in confusion, noticing someone's distinct absence.

"Hey, did you see where Carly went?" Jack asked Holden who also frowned and shook his head.

"Um, the last time I saw her she was headed for the stairs. Upstairs bathroom maybe?"

"Yeah, thanks." Jack said distractedly and went in the same direction.

He paused at the bottom of the stairs and looked back to check on everyone. The kids were grouped off talking and the adults were doing the same. Of course, the women were hovering around Molly, who currently had a sleeping Emmy on her shoulder, just waiting for their chance to hold the baby. Knowing he wouldn't be missed for a few minutes, Jack slipped upstairs.

Something inside of him told him exactly which room he would find Carly in and when he peeked into the nursery, he wasn't surprised to find her sitting in the glider by the crib. Her head was lying back against the thick white and pale pink gingham cushion and she was slowly rocking herself back and forth with her eyes closed.

By the small furrowing of her brow, she seemed deep in thought and he didn't want to disturb her just yet. So, instead, Jack looked around the small room and took in the little details that he had been too busy lately to really notice.

The walls were a pale mint green with a border around the top consisting of a pastel colored garden motif, in which the objects looked like they were drawn in chalk. There was a nice glossy white chair rail that matched the white baby furniture around the room, including the beautiful sleigh bed crib and corresponding changing table. Jack knew from putting bed together that it would eventually be able to be turned into a toddler bed and then finally a day bed as Emmy grew older.

The cushions for everything were the same pink and white material that covered the plush glider that Carly was on and the crib sheets were just a nice pale pink with a thicker blanket over top that had the same design as the border in the room.

The highlight of the room was a piece of wall art that was done just over the changing table against the far side wall. There were the large stenciled letters spelling out "EMMA" and each letter was painted to look like the pink and white gingham cloth from the furniture. Every letter was slightly askew and had a 3-D appearance of being held up portrait style by thick pink ribbons and large painted nails.

"It looks incredible, doesn't it?" Carly's voice surprised him and he turned to see her eyes were now opened and that she was looking at the name over the changing table along with him.

He blinked quickly and then nodded. "Yeah, it's almost lifelike. The design that you and Sage worked out looks even more amazing then it did on paper."

"I don't think I could have done it better myself." Carly said, tilting her head to study the wall art some more. Jack frowned and looked at her carefully.

"You know, Sage wanted to wait for you but when she found out that you and Emmy were coming home soon, she just wanted everything to be perfect."

"No, I know. That's not what I meant." Carly said, shaking her head immediately. "It really is beautiful."

"The artist that we got to do it, Linda Burns, said that Sage helped her a lot. In fact, she said that it was Sage who painted the ribbons and the nails, and she only gave her some slight technical help." Jack said, gesturing to the wall and then smiling proudly. "Our daughter is very talented."

"Yes, she is. Actually, Sage did mention that she wanted to maybe take some art classes after school along with still doing dance. I think it's a good idea that we encourage her." Carly said and Jack quickly agreed. A silence fell between them after that and Jack shifted on his feet, narrowing his eyes in her direction as he examined her.

"Carly, are you okay?"

"Yeah, Jack, I'm fine." She looked at him and gave him small smile as she nodded. "How about Emmy, is she okay?"

"Oh, yeah, she's still out cold, which is helpful because she's being passed around like a football." Jack said, trying to coax out a bigger smile.

"That's okay, it won't hurt her. She's a Snyder." Carly said, chuckling a little but even to Jack's ears the sound was a little hollow.

"Are you tired? Do you want me to send everyone home?" Jack asked, suddenly worried that the reason she was up here was that it was all too much, too soon.

"No, let them stay. They're having a good time." Carly said shaking her head, but Jack could tell there was something bothering her.

He quickly walked over to sit on the ottoman of the glider, reaching out to place a hand on her thigh even as she let her legs fall to the floor to make room for him.

"Carly, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm okay." Carly said, but as the words left her mouth the sounds of laughter floated up to them and she closed her eyes briefly, a flash of something crossing her face before Jack could decipher it.

"Hey, come on." Jack said and gently cupped her chin to let his thumb stroke the line of her jaw. When she opened her eyes again, he looked directly into them. "Talk to me. What's going on?"

"Nothing, it's just…" Carly began to say and when a light sheen of tears started to form, she tried to pull her face away. But Jack held firm, not hard enough to hurt her but enough to force her to focus her attention back on him. At the look of concern in his eyes, she sighed shakily. "I'm sorry. I just keep thinking that all of this should have happened over a month ago. That if I had just worked up the courage to tell you about my being pregnant before…"

"Stop, just stop right there. All of that is in the past." Jack said, sternly. "Yes, it's true that we lost a month of our lives but in the grand scheme of things, it's nothing. When I think about how it all could have turned out…Carly, it makes me nuts."

Even now, a couple times in the nights since she had woken up, he would have such vivid nightmares of losing her and Emmy that upon waking up his stomach would churn and he felt like he couldn't get enough air.

"Doesn't it scare you?" Carly asked and quickly shook her head. "I know you keep saying that everything is in the past but, Jack, the truth of it is that our recent past has _not_ been hearts, rainbows, and lollipops. Far from it!"

"I know, Baby, but that's exactly why all I want to do is concentrate on here; on now. With you and our kids. I don't know what's going to happen next but I do know that I never want to let it get that bad between us again, no matter what happens."

"I don't want that either because…" Carly said and then stopped.

"Because what?"

"Because I don't ever want to hurt like that again. I _can't_." Carly said, her voice quiet and Jack's eyes softened.

"Oh Carly, honey, listen to me. You know that I meant everything that I said to you in that hospital, right?"

"I know, Jack, and I will never be able to tell you how much that meant to me. It's how I found my way back." Carly said, but Jack could hear something in her voice.

"But…you're still worried." Jack said and she frowned.

"I can't help it, I'm sorry. With our history and everything that's happened lately…it's just so much to take in. We've changed a lot these past few years, Jack. We're not the same two people who met in Montana all those years ago. Not completely, anyway."

Jack nodded, knowing exactly what she meant.

"Okay then, so where do we go from here? I want you to be alright with what comes next." He said and leaned forward to take her hands in his.

Carly bit her lip and then just shrugged. "I don't know, Jack. Maybe…we could just take this one day at a time instead of jumping in with both feet. Everytime we do, we seem to end up in the deep end of the ocean with no life preserver."

Jack was silent for a moment and Carly felt her heart begin to pound in her chest with a low beat of panic until a slow smile spread across his face.

"You know what?" He said and cocked his head slightly. "I think that's a great idea."

Carly's eyes widened and after a moment she gave a tiny smile. It was tentative but at least it was real this time. "Really?"

"Yeah," Jack said, his voice gaining enthusiasm. "Look at it this way. It will be fun just getting to know each other all over again."

He paused and then gave her a hesitant look.

"Um, it's up to you but, if it would help, I could move back to the farm if it's too much for you for me to be here."

Carly blinked in surprise and immediately her brain went into panic mode. That was definitely _not_ what she had intended at all. While she wasn't exactly ready, physically or emotionally, to be intimate with Jack again, the thought of him not being at Milltown with her and the kids was unfathomable.

"No!" She said quickly, startling him with her abrupt response. She took a deep breath and tried again. "No, I want you here. With the kids…and with me."

"With…you?" Jack repeated slowly, narrowing his eyes and trying to figure out exactly that entailed.

"I'm not…you know I can't…" Carly stumbled in an uncharacteristic display of inability to find the right words, but Jack caught on and spared her by putting a finger over her lips.

"It's okay. I understand." He said and then paused again. "But even with the delayed gratification..."

The spark of recognition in her eyes at his phrasing made him smile before going on.

"…do I still get to hold you at night?"

In response, Carly placed her hand on his cheek.

"Always." She answered, her smile growing and the sparkle returning to her eyes.

A loud shrill cry from downstairs broke the mood of the nursery and the two looked at each other.

"Uh oh, duty calls." Carly said laughingly and Jack stood up, extending a hand to her as he did.

"Hey, does this whole living here and sleeping in the same bed situation at least provide_ some_ fringe benefits?" Jack asked as he helped her to her feet.

"Oh, I find that highly unlikely, G-man. We're just getting to know each other remember? What kind of girl do you think I am?" Carly said, moving like she was going to kiss him only to graze the corner of his mouth instead then slide around him.

Jack turned after her and narrowed his eyes slightly. "You're bluffing."

Just before she stepped out into the hallway, Carly turned and sent him a saucy look over her shoulder. "You hope."

Watching her disappear, Jack just stood there a moment and shook his head, before following her with an amused and hopeful smile on his face.

Some things never changed.


	65. You Never Know If You Don't Ask

**Author's Note: Hey everyone! Glad you liked the last chapter so much...it's really getting harder and harder for me as I finish this story, especially since the actual show is sucking hardcore right now when it comes to our couple. Anways, t****he more reviews I get, the better I feel (hint hint) LOL. So, here's the next chapter! The upcoming ones are some of my favorites so I really hope you ENJOY!  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_You create your opportunities by asking for them."  
__~Shakti Gawain  
_************************************************************************************************************************************************

Time passed quickly and before they knew it, autumn was on their doorstep. However, it was still surprisingly warm towards the end of first full week in October and so, on Thursday, Parker called to ask if he and J.J. could play soccer in the park after school with their friends instead of coming straight home. Carly had readily agreed as long as they were done by four-thirty and gave her a call on her cell phone when they were finally heading home.

The two brothers had been on the same team, along with Mattie, Faith, and a couple of J.J.'s teammates from baseball that past spring. They had beaten the other team, even though it had consisted of mostly 11th grade friends of Parker and Mattie, by a solid three goals by the time the game was called.

However the jovial mood from winning wore off fast as Parker started needling his brother on a certain sore subject as they neared Milltown.

"_Just_…_do…it_." Parker said as he followed a fuming J.J. into the house.

Tossing his backpack and their soccer gear down on the floor, J.J. whirled around to glare at his older brother.

"No way! It's too late, I'm gonna look like an idiot, and I'm _not_ going to do it!" He said loudly, his glare only intensifying when Parker rolled his eyes.

"And just what is it that you _aren't_ going to do that you feel the need to shout your decision through the whole house?"

Both boys turned their heads to become aware of Carly sitting at the dining room table with several sketches scattered about. She had a red colored pencil in the corner of her mouth and one eyebrow raised in a half curious, half frustrated expression.

"Oh, hi, Mom." They said, practically in sync. Both of them also gave sheepish looks when they spotted the pink and brown Pack N' Play situated a few feet from the table.

Knowing that she wanted something for Emmy to be in while she worked around the house, it had been one of the first purchases that Carly had made once she had gotten home. She and Sage had looked around on the internet for a design print they liked and had managed to narrow it down to two. But once they read the name of the one design pattern, they had been sold. Now the whole "Emelia" collection from Graco, that they jokingly had shortened to the "Emmy" collection, was littered around their house from the playpen to stroller to new car seat and high chair.

Carly caught their glances towards the sleeping infant and frowned. "No, you didn't wake her. Although not for the lack of trying."

Before the words fully left her mouth, the two boys went over to get a look at their baby sister, each bending down to kiss her gently as she slept on in the removable bassinet that came with the playpen.

Carly's heart melted, as it always did, at the sight. All three of her older children simply doted on Emmy to the point that they sometimes even argued over who got to hold her or feed her next. Somehow though, when it came to changing a dirty diaper, _that_ job still fell mostly to her and Jack.

Shaking her head she brought her thoughts back to the earlier situation.

"So what is it that you won't do, J.J.?" Carly asked, her voice low as not to wake Emmy, and immediately J.J. blushed.

"It's no big deal, Mom." J.J. said, moving away from the table to flop down on the couch. "Really, it's just…"

"The fall dance is tomorrow night and J.J. _finally_ worked up the goddamn nerve to ask Faith for her friend Becca's phone number." Parker interrupted. Crossing his arms he wandered over to lean against the desk by the front door with a self-righteous look on his face. "Only now, he's too chicken shit to call and ask her."

"Dude, _shut_…_up_!" J.J. said, his hands curling into fists and starting to rise from the couch.

"Whoa, okay, let's calm down and…lose the cursing, please." Carly said, raising her hand and giving Parker a distinct look.

He mumbled an apology under his breath, looking anywhere but at her. Satisfied that he was properly remorseful, Carly shifted her focus back to J.J.

"Now, why won't you call her?" She asked but J.J. just shrugged, frowning.

"It's the biggest dance of the year, other than the proms, and it's _tomorrow_. She probably already has another date and she'll just say no."

"Well, do you really like this girl? I mean, as more than a friend?" Carly asked sending him an amused look and J.J. blushed.

"Mom!" He protested but she just grinned at him.

"I'll take that as a yes."

J.J. rolled his eyes but the small smile that slipped out onto his face told her all the information she needed to know; her newly sixteen year old son had a major crush.

"J.J., just call her, honey. It can't hurt, right? If she is already going with someone else, then there's nothing you can do about it. But if she isn't…" Carly trailed off and shrugged like J.J. had a moment ago.

"Come on, J.J., do it. It's not _that_ hard." Parker said, exasperated and J.J. narrowed his eyes again in his direction.

"What do_ you_ know about it? You have a built in date because you have a girlfriend."

"So could you if you just grew a set and called Becca." Parker said disdainfully.

Carly closed her eyes briefly at his choice of phrasing but, to her credit, she let it slide. At this point, in the art of raising teenagers, Carly was learning more and more when to pick her battles.

"Besides, she likes you too." Parker said, apparently deciding to stop giving him grief and show the more supportive side of being a big brother.

"Really?" J.J. asked, his interest suddenly peaked. "How do you know?"

"Faith told me. You know her date, Jake Cooper? Well, his best friend, Matt Schaffer, already asked Becca to go with him but she turned him down. Faith said Becca told her it was because she wanted _you_ to ask her." Parker said and J.J.'s mouth dropped open even as Carly was still trying to follow the line of "who" said "what" to "whom" in the information that Parker had just given out.

"Why didn't you say something before?" He asked in annoyance and Parker shrugged.

"Um, cause I have my _own_ life. Anyway, how was I to know that you would be such a wuss that you wouldn't do it by now?"

J.J. looked from his mother to his brother then back again before blowing out a long sigh. With a slightly apprehensive look, he pulled out his cell phone and began dialing a number that was written on a pink Post-It note that just _happened_ to be in his front jean's pocket.

Five minutes later he was hanging up the phone with a grin on his face and a date for the dance.

"See? Was that so hard?" Parker asked sarcastically.

"Yes!" J.J. replied, running a hand through his hair and giving Parker a look. "Like I said, you have no idea the pressure. Remember…built in date."

"You know, I really hope you never let Mattie catch you saying something like that." Parker said and chuckled as he thought about what his girlfriend would say…or do…if she found out that J.J. thought she was a sure thing as a date just because she was Parker's girlfriend.

As it was, Parker had still given her a small bouquet of flowers when he asked her about going to the fall dance right before going to study hall a couple weeks ago. Of course, he had also done it because it had earned him a nice long kiss in the middle of the school hallways.

"Yeah, yeah." J.J. said and then his face paled. "Oh my god, what the hell do you wear to this thing?"

"Wear to what thing?" Jack asked as he walked in the front door just behind Sage. He had hold of her light pink backpack and was playfully steering her in zigzag directions, making her laugh loudly every time he jerked her to another side.

"Our sons are going to the fall dance tomorrow night and are worried about their wardrobe." Carly said, throwing a significant look at them before directing their attention to the playpen.

Both Sage and Jack made apologetic faces and turned to hush each other comically in over exaggerated whispers and movements. Then, with the two of them fighting back laughs, Jack helped her take off her backpack and hang it up on the coat hook.

Carly shook her head in defeat and, placing the colored pencil down, she rose from the table. Stretching, she leaned over to peek in on Emmy to make sure she was still sleeping soundly before heading over to receive a hug from her older daughter and quick kiss from Jack.

"The fall dance, huh? Gonna show off your moves?" Jack said and everyone let out a low groan as Jack faked a dance step.

Sage rolled her eyes and took a large stride away from him as Carly good-naturedly held onto his upper torso in an unsuccessful effort to try and get him to stop moving. Jack was about to continue his teasing when Sage suddenly spoke up.

"Wait! Tomorrow is Sara Beth's sleepover party!" She looked troubled, as if her parents would totally forget that she had big plans for Friday night too.

"I know, Sweetie." Carly said, placing a comforting hand on Sage's head. "Your friend Elena Romero's mom and I already figured everything out. Since they only live a couple neighborhoods over, she is going to pick you up here at 7:30 to take you two to Sara Beth's house. Then either Daddy or I will pick you guys up on Saturday morning."

"Oh, okay." Sage said and apparently Carly's answer satisfied her enough that she wandered over to stare at her baby sister.

"Sage, please let her be. I finally got her to go down for a nap about an hour ago." Carly said quietly but sternly.

Sage rolled her eyes again in that classic adolescent gesture and backed away from the bassinet with her hands up in the air. Then, without another word, she turned to disappear into the kitchen. Hearing the muffled clunk of the ceramic cookie jar lid landing on the counter, Carly frowned.

"Don't even think about it, Sage! Dinner's already in the oven!" Carly called out and then jumped as the rest of her family shushed her. All eyes turned to Emmy, who wiggled and whimpered but then settled back down with a long suffering sigh.

Shooting Carly amused looks, J.J. and Parker decided to head into the kitchen on a snack search too and left their parents alone in the living room with Emmy.

"Long day?" Jack asked, briefly hugging Carly to his side and she shook her head.

"No, not really. We had our normal morning jog and then a nap, before we met up with Lily for lunch. Since Ethan had a half day at pre-school we just hung around the playground for a while afterwards catching up. But I guess that the second trip in the outdoor air really stimulated her because, like I said, she only just fell asleep a little while ago." Carly said, sliding out from under his arm and heading back over to the table. "Being out with her today gave me some really good ideas. I got started on some new sketches and was hoping to finish a few of them before I had to check on dinner or before Emmy woke up again for her next feeding."

"Has Monique been pressuring you about a decision?" Jack asked quietly.

"No." Carly answered just as quietly. "She's actually been pretty fantastic about not pushing me. Especially since I'm sure she's getting pressure of her own from every direction."

About three weeks after Carly had woken up from her coma and had been situated back at home, Monique had called from L.A. to talk to her. After relaying her joy again at Carly's recovery, she had informed her that the big wigs at the parent company of MoJo Designs had expressed a desire to sign Carly on as a full time designer with her own label. The only catch was that they wanted her to work out of L.A._ and_ they wanted her decision by the end of the month.

Jack watched Carly frown and his heart squeezed at the thought of her having such a choice to make. Yes, she had stated several times that she would perfectly happy to stay in Oakdale with just Metro as a business but Jack could tell that her entire being was aching to hang on to that dream of being a successful fashion designer.

"But, in the meantime, I told her I would have some sketches done up to showcase some ideas for the upcoming winter line." Carly said, her eyes scanning the drawings that she had been working on and Jack could tell that she was already halfway back into work mode.

"Hey, why don't you let me take over dinner? That way you can finish up your work." Jack said and Carly looked up at him with a small smirk.

"Can you do it without burning the house down?" She joked, sitting down again, and Jack huffed playfully.

"Excuse me, Miss High and Mighty. Who was it that mostly taught _you_ how to cook?"

"Emma." Carly said without missing a beat and Jack mischievously growled at her.

He walked over to her side and bent down to nibble on her neck. Jack knew it was a huge ticklish spot for her and wrapped his arms around her upper body so that she couldn't get away. By doing so, he was forcing her to muffle the giggles that threatened to escape her for fear of waking the baby.

"Okay, okay! _You_ did!" Carly said, gasping for breath and he straightened back up, releasing her as he grinned victoriously.

"Yeah…that's what I thought!" Jack said and went to go into the kitchen, where he could hear the voices of their other children chatting away. But he stopped halfway there and turned back to Carly with a thoughtful expression.

"Hey, I have an idea." Jack said and she turned to stare at him curiously. "What's stopping us from going out tomorrow night too?"

"What?" Carly asked, slightly bewildered by his question.

"I mean, it wouldn't be anything as cool as a fall dance or a sleepover party but still…we could do it." He added and this time she looked at him as if he suddenly had three heads. "You know…like on a date."

"Jack, what in the world are you…" She started to say but Jack held up his hand to stop her.

"No, wait, hear me out. The kids are all going to be out and I think it would be nice for the two of us to get out of the house too and just, you know, be together." Jack said and Carly hesitated, obviously tempted, but then she frowned.

"Um, Jack, aren't you forgetting something? We have _four_ children now. What do we do with Emmy?"

"Carly, I know it's been a while since Sage was that little but I'm sure you haven't forgotten that long time-honored tradition of the baby-sitter." Jack said, raising an eyebrow when she rolled her eyes.

"Yes, thank you, Jack. It's just…" Carly trailed off, uncertain at even the thought of leaving Emmy.

Since mother and daughter had been home from the hospital, Carly and Jack had each gone out separately with their friends as well as gone out together with the kids as a family several times. However, this would be the first time that Carly and Jack would be away from the baby at the same time...and alone.

"I promise, we can make it a quick evening if you don't want to stay out too late. Maybe just dinner and dessert at the Lakeview? You know they have that new special dark chocolate brownie." Jack said, the gleam in his eye showing off just how well he knew the reference to anything chocolate would tempt her. "That is,_ if_ you'd even want it."

True to form, Carly wavered at the mention of such an enticing offer and then glanced again at Emmy's sleeping form.

"Who would we get to watch her?" Carly asked and Jack threw his hands up.

"Are you kidding me? Emma's been dying to get her hands on her namesake for weeks and if she can't do it, I'm pretty sure Molly would be on our doorstep faster than you could finish asking her."

"Well I…I'm not…oh, I don't know, Jack." Carly said and bit her lip.

Truth was, as wonderful as it had been the past couple of months between her and Jack, she was scared shitless at the thought of being alone with him in such a romantic context. Other than at night, when Jack would hold her in his arms and they would fall asleep together, they hadn't moved very far beyond sweet kisses every now and then.

Sticking to their original plan, they had been taking things extremely slow. And, with everything better among the whole family dynamic than it had ever been so far, she was afraid of messing with a good thing.

"Carly," Jack said, his voice suddenly becoming very serious. He walked over to kneel down beside her chair and looked her directly in her eyes. "Please? Go on a date with me tomorrow night?"

Staring into the warm and sincere chocolate brown eyes that lured her in as much as any delectable dessert, she finally sighed and smiled softly.

"Okay, Jack. I'd love to go out on a date with you." Carly said, placing a gentle hand on his cheek. "You can 'pick me up' at a quarter to eight."

Jack grinned and leaned forward to kiss her lightly, then headed back to the kitchen. But she called his name again and he stopped, turning to look at her over his shoulder with a questioning gaze.

"Seeing as we live in the same house…don't be late." Carly said cheekily, her blue eyes twinkling.

Jack just winked before disappearing into the kitchen. His voice floated out into the dining area, accompanied by the laughter and chatter of their children. Carly listened contentedly for a long moment and then looked down into the bassinet by her side. As if sensing her mother's eyes on her and the good mood in the house, the baby's dimples suddenly appeared as she smiled faintly in her slumber. Carly tenderly ran her fingertips over Emmy's satin soft cheek as she once again found herself falling head over heels in love with the tiny blessing that lay before her. When she turned back to focus again on her work, it was no surprise that Carly had a smile on her lips as well.

She was doing some of the best sketches she had ever done, all of her kids were happy and healthy, and tomorrow night…she had a date with Jack!


	66. Changes In Life Can Be Second Chances

**Author's Note: Okay, I hope you guys like this one! It took me a while to complete because I just wasn't sure where I wanted to go with certain parts but I'm really happy with the way it turned out. Just remember...the more reviews, the happier I am, and the happier I am, the faster I update! ;-)  
****ENJOY!  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

_We all have changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.  
__~Harrison Ford  
_************************************************************************************************************************************************

Friday night came much sooner than anyone expected and it showed by way of the absolute chaos that was going on in Milltown.

"Mom, I can't find my suit jacket!"

"J.J., it's on the coat hook by the front door where you _asked_ me to put it when I finished ironing it!"

"Dad, I need to borrow black shoes. Mine are all scuffed up!"

"Parker, you have more than one pair of black dress shoes. Check in the back of your closet…_if_ you can find your way back there!"

"Hey, Parker, did you pick up the thing for me like I asked when you went to go get Mattie's?"

"Dude, for the millionth time, yes! You gave me money, told me what flower, and even what color ribbon to ask for. It's just a corsage for a fall dance. You're not marrying the girl!"

"Okay, could you just please be nice to your brother? It's his first high school dance."

"Oh, of course! I'll be nice to the mama's boy!"

"I heard that, you moron!"

"Hey, guys, knock it off! You can always tell Becca and Mattie that you were both suddenly grounded if that works better for you!"

"Aw, _come on_, Dad! Like Mom said, it's my first high school dance! Besides, _he_ started it!"

"Oh my God, dude, what are you…_five_?"

"Boys, enough! I mean it!"

"Fine! _Sorry, _Dad! _Sorry_, J.J.! _Sorry, Universe_!"

"Wow, _that_ was heartfelt...jerkwad!"

"Bite me, Sophomore!"

"_Boys_!"

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry!"

"Yeah, me too...even if he _did_ start it."

"Ugh! Carly, whose fault is it, again, that we have teenagers?"

"Don't look at me, Jack, I wanted puppies. And apparently you can't make an exchange this late in the game because trust me..._I asked_."

"Wow, you guys are freaking hilarious! Not!"

"I don't know, I thought your mom's comment was pretty funny and…Parker, you _cannot_ wear Converse sneakers with your good suit, even if they are black!"

"But, Dad, I told you…"

"Fine! Go get a pair of black shoes from my closet! Just…don't ruin them too!"

"Mom,_ seriously_, I need my jacket!"

"J.J., for the last time! _Front door!_ _Coat hook!_"

"Oh…well…why didn't you just say that before? There's no need to yell."

Sage, who was avidly watching from the living room couch as the rest of her family ran around the house like headless chickens, calmly covered her ears as her mother let loose a scream of frustration.

Perched on the coffee table, a startled Emmy jumped in her baby bouncer and stared up at her big sister with wide blue eyes.

"It's okay, Emmy. I think they're nuts too." Sage said reaching out to tickle the baby's feet through her pale yellow sleeper with fuzzy 3-D ducklings on them. She laughed when Emmy gave her a drooling smile in return for her efforts.

Two minutes later it sounded like a hoard of elephants was coming down the stairs as both teenaged boys rushed to grab their suit jackets and the corsages that sat waiting on the desk by the door.

"We're leaving!" Parker called up and Carly appeared on the lower landing of the stairs, dressed in her bathrobe.

"So, when the dance is over you're going to go to IHOP with your friends?"

"Yes." They replied together with barely concealed tolerability.

"And you know that weekend curfew is only extended a half hour tonight? Which means home by 12:30, not _heading_ home by 12:30."

"Yes."

"Cell phones are charged?"

"Yes."

"Emergency money and medical information are in your wallets?"

"_Yes."_

There was a pause and then Carly sighed softly. "You both look so handsome and grown-up. Let me get one more picture!"

"Mom!" Parker said and his eyes practically bugged out of his head with irritation.

"Mom, we're gonna be late meeting the girls at Jason's house." J.J. said with a slight whine as he shifted impatiently.

"Relax, it's just three houses down. Besides, I still don't see why you all couldn't come _here_ to get picked up by the limo." Carly said, sniffing her disdain as she moved down the stairs to adjust both of their ties one final time.

"Um…hello? In case you haven't noticed...you're in your_ bathrobe_." Parker pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, alright, go! But I want copies of any pictures that you take at Jason's house!" Carly said, making due with one more hug each.

The boys yelled their goodbyes up to Jack and then, with quick kisses to Emmy and hugs for Sage, they disappeared out the door before Carly could corner them with more questions or worse…her camera again.

With a long sigh, Carly shut the door behind them and leaned against it for a minute. Then giving Sage a smile, she walked over to bend down to kiss her, then Emmy.

"How are things down here?"

"Fine. I'm ready to go." Sage said pointing to the corner by the door where her sleepover stuff waited. "By the way…Parker has a point."

Carly raised an eyebrow at her for an explanation and Sage waved a hand in front of her.

"Lanie's mom is going to be here in like, 10 minutes, which means it's almost time for your date with Daddy, and you _are_ still only in your bathrobe."

"Ugh, everyone's a critic." Carly said, rolling her eyes but tapped Sage's nose lightheartedly before bounding upstairs to finish getting dressed.

A few minutes later there was a knock on the door and before Sage could get up, it opened by itself and Emma poked her head in.

"Hello? I'm here."

"Hi, Aunt Emma, come on in. Mom and Dad are still getting dressed." Sage said standing to greet her with a hug.

"Your friend's mom isn't here yet?" Emma said hugging her back and kissing her forehead.

"Nah, but she should be here any minute. I've just been playing with Emmy until then." Sage shrugged and gestured to the baby who had, once again, discovered the magical appendage that was her left fist. Emmy eyed at her fist in concentration, before quickly proceeding to stuff it into her mouth with enthusiasm.

"Well, hello there, Angel! How are you?" Emma cooed.

The baby froze then immediately turned her head towards the new voice. Dropping her fist from her mouth, Emmy babbled loudly and waved her extremely wet hand in Emma's direction.

"Well! You're doing that good, huh?" Emma replied back, sitting down on the couch and reaching out to take Emmy's hand, drool and all.

"Isn't she smart? It's like she knows what you're saying to her." Sage said proudly.

As if to back her big sister up, Emmy turned her face in Sage's direction with a wide smile and reached out her other hand. Sage didn't hesitate before leaning forward and kissing the tiny slender fingers that were opening and closing in front of her face.

"Hmm, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were enjoying this whole big sister thing." Emma said and Sage turned to grin at her.

"I love it!" She said but then wrinkled her nose. "Well, except when she has a really dirty diaper. They smell so nasty!"

"Yeah, Mom and Dad aren't so thrilled with them either since _we're_ usually the ones who have to change them." Jack's voice came from behind them and they turned to see him start down the stairs.

Looking like he had just stepped off the cover of GQ magazine, Jack was wearing a well cut, jet black suit with a graphite gray button down shirt underneath, completed by a simple black silk tie. His hair was neatly trimmed and he was adjusting a pair of silver and black cufflinks when he leaned over the back of the sofa to kiss Emma hello.

"You just missed the boys." He said, finally getting the cufflinks right and beginning to fiddle with his tie.

"No, I caught them as they were about to get into their little rented limo." Emma said and gave a small little motherly smile as she reached out and fixed Jack's tie for him. "I'm pretty sure I embarrassed them, though, when I made them let me take a picture with my camera phone."

"No, that's good." Jack said and leaned forward to kiss her cheek again when she deemed his tie was now straight. "Carly and I were worried we hadn't done enough to mess with them before they left."

"No, Jack, _you_ wanted to mess with them. _I _was just being a mom." Carly said, her words accented by the sound of her stiletto heels on the hardwood to announce her incoming arrival.

"Whoa, Mommy! You look amazing!" Sage said, exchanging a look with Emma who winked at her and inclined her head towards Jack. Sage looked over at her dad and bit her tongue to keep from laughing as he just stood there with his mouth agape while Carly descended the stairs.

She was also dressed to the nines in a form fitting, deep wine colored, satin dress that came to just above her knees. There was a wide band of black lace with scalloped edges starting at just under her bust to end at her waist. The dress was strapless with a square neckline but around Carly's shoulders was a black lace bolero jacket with short sleeves that matched the lace on her dress. Her curls were pinned back at the sides and a pair of chandelier earrings made of small black shiny beads echoed the delicate strand of similar beads that rested at her collarbone.

"Thank you, Sweetie. It's something that I had done for the formal collection but decided not to show last minute." Carly said, sweeping her hand down the front of her dress in a semi-nervous gesture.

"You _designed_ that?" Sage said, her eyes wide as Carly nodded.

"Beautiful and talented; quite a dangerous combination." Jack's said and Carly found herself blushing. The intoxicating scent of his cologne reached her nose and she fought the instinct to close her eyes and breathe in deeply again. As it was, her stomach was doing silly little flips and she found that she was struggling to remember that her knees were _not_ made of jelly.

Another knock on the door came and Jack moved to answer it, revealing a pretty little girl with caramel colored skin and two thick French braids in her jet black hair.

"Hi, Elena. Do you want to come in?" Jack said and the child smiled shyly.

"No thanks, Mr. Snyder. My mom's waiting in the car."

"Hi, Lanie!" Sage said, smiling as she rose from the couch at the sight of her friend.

"Hey, Sage." Elena smiled back sending a small wave in her direction.

"It's okay, Daddy. My stuff is right there." Sage said and turned to give Emma and Carly both hugs, before kissing her baby sister repeatedly. "Bye-bye, Emmy, I love you."

Sage hugged Jack too and then went to throw on her coat. Carly walked over to help Sage with her sleeping bag while Elena bent down to help grab Sage's duffel bag and pillow.

"Bye! Have fun tonight!" Sage said, her eyes twinkling as she looked from one parent to the other.

"You too! See you girls tomorrow. Be good!" Carly said giving her older daughter a quick look as Sage and Elena both waved back.

As they left, the two girls' voices floated back to them.

"Girl, your mom looked like a model!" Elena said, her voice a loud attempt at a whisper. "That dress was so hot!"

"I know and guess what? _She_ designed it." Sage's voice carried back and the pride rung out in the crisp October air.

As Jack closed the door, he turned to see Carly standing there with a small surprised smile on her face.

"If you're looking for a public relations person, I think Sage could do the job easily." Emma joked playfully, having heard the young girl's words too.

"She's proud of her mom. We all are." Jack said, brushing a hand down Carly's arm and making her shiver. Their eyes connected and for a moment, everything else just disappeared. Only the clearing of a throat behind them caused them to remember where they were and who they were with.

"Right!" Carly said, turning to look at Emma and trying desperately to re-focus.

"Um, Emmy's going to probably want to eat within the next twenty minutes or so and her bottles are in the fridge ready to go. She has a slight diaper rash so there is a tube of cream on both the changing table on the playpen and the one in her room. Her bedtime is usually around 9 or so and if you turn the mobile over her crib once and just rock her while the song is playing, she's typically asleep before it's over. Uh, the emergency numbers are on the counter, but both of our cell phones will be on if you need us. She usually doesn't cry unless there's a reason so if she gets fussy just check her diaper or she might have a little gas but…"

Carly trailed off finally as she noticed both Emma and Jack watching her with amused expressions.

"...why am I telling you all of this? You've done this like, a million times." Carly said, rolling her eyes to cover her embarrassment but Emma just shook her head.

Walking over, the older woman placed her hands on either side of Carly's face and smiled warmly at her.

"Because, you're a mommy and that's what mommies do." Emma said and then leaned forward to kiss Carly's cheek before releasing her and stepping back again. "Okay, now scoot, you two. I know you have eight-fifteen reservations at that fancy Italian restaurant you like so much and I don't want you to be late."

Carly and Jack got their stuff together and went to say goodbye to Emmy. Since most babies don't even develop separation issues until they are at least 7 or 8 months, both Carly and Jack knew that they were having a harder time than Emmy was. In fact, _she_ was babbling away and waving her hands in the air without a care in the world when Emma finally shooed _them_ out the door.

The night started out a little bit awkward with the conversation mainly about the kids or the house and at one point, it even ventured to the weather. However, by the time their meal came around, they were laughing and talking as easily as they had done years ago. Jack actually managed to convince her to dance with him to an old Dean Martin song while they waited for dessert and both of them realized that they had forgotten how nice it was to simply just sway while being in each other's arms. After dinner they found themselves winding up at the local Starbucks to bring the night to a close but before either of them knew it, ten-thirty had rolled around and they realized that they needed to head back home.

Still, when they arrived back at Milltown, they were reluctant to head inside just yet and hovered out on the front porch for a few moments longer. Together they stared up at the night sky with Carly leaning back against Jack's chest and his arms wrapped around her waist.

"You were right about tonight, Jack." Carly said, her arms lying over top of his as they hugged her tight. He rested his chin atop her right shoulder and nuzzled her hair away from her neck as he listened to her speak. "I had a great time."

"Yeah, you just liked it because I bought you that giant slice of triple chocolate cake you wanted at La Bella Luna." Jack teased. Carly leaned her head back and to the right to look at him, her eyes sparkling in the porch light.

"Hmm, maybe." She teased back and let out a small laugh when he squeezed her harder around the stomach in retribution. "What? It was amazing! I swear I can still taste it!"

"Oh, really?" Jack's eyes darkened and he suddenly released her from his hold. Turning her around so that she was now facing him, he tilted his head as he looked down at her. "Let's test that theory."

He bent his head down and while the thought to stop him crossed her mind momentarily, it was gone the moment his lips ghosted hers.

The kiss was soft and feather-light at first, just basically a small nibble, but as soon as she felt the tip of his tongue trace the crease where her two lips met, Carly immediately granted him the access he was seeking. Before either of them knew what was happening, Jack had her back pressed up against one of the pillars to the porch railing and she was pulling him as close to her as humanly possible. Carly's hands slipped up under his suit jacket to alternately press and claw against his upper back while his hands gripped her waist tightly with one leg nudged in between her two. His thumbs were moving in concentric circles at her hips, gathering the satin material of her dress, and indirectly causing her hemline to start to creep its way up her thighs. The alternating feel of the heat from his body and the cool night air against her newly exposed legs was driving her out of her mind.

It was only the soft hoot of an owl and the snap of a twig nearby that broke Carly out of her blissful state and made her aware again of their surroundings. However, when Jack moved from her lips to that one spot at the base of her collarbone, for a brief moment Carly thought _'to hell with public decency'_.

Yet, Jack must have sensed a change in her body language or else he was also becoming conscious again of where they were standing because he stopped his actions and pulled away slowly, his breathing as heavy as her own.

As she willed herself to ignore the incredible heat that was still pooling in places it shouldn't while standing exposed on their front porch, Carly felt herself become more and more nervous. While the date had gone fantastic and she had been hoping to end it with a romantic gesture, she certainly hadn't meant for things to escalate as far as they did.

Granted, she had her appointment with Dr. Schiller on Monday afternoon and was confident she was going to be medically cleared, but it was more than that. Sex between her and Jack had never been "just sex", no matter what they might have said or done afterwards. The emotional ties and history between them ran too deep and Carly knew that when the time was right, they would have their moment to intimately connect again.

She just didn't know if she was ready for it to be tonight.

"Um…" Carly said, trying to make her voice sound relatively normal even as she delicately pulled her dress back down to its intended length. "Maybe we should head inside."

Although everything in him screamed to return to the warmth he had found in her arms, Jack held back. He had seen the display of conflicting emotions that had crossed Carly's face in the moments after they had pulled apart. He loved her with every fiber of his being and going off of that love, he would _never_ want to push her into doing something that she wasn't ready for.

"Oh," Jack said, stepping away from her within a tasteful enough distance to let his body start to calm down. "You mean, now that we've given the neighbors a free show?"

At his joking he could instantly see Carly's entire body relax. She chuckled and the husky sound of it made Jack want nothing more then to grab her and carry her upstairs like a caveman but again he restrained himself.

"That and the fact that your aunt is 50 feet away inside our house and I kinda feel like a teenager who's about to get caught making out on the porch."

"Oh, right, her." Jack said, but he smiled when he said it and threw his arm around Carly's shoulders. Pressing a kiss to the side of her head, he smiled wider when he felt her arm slide around his waist.

Carly narrowed her eyes as she studied the small cloud that formed when she exhaled her breath, her mind drifting to what had just happened. Smiling inwardly at the decision she came to, she slipped in front of Jack and placed her hands up on his chest.

"But she's going home now, right?"

Jack looked down into Carly's upturned face and studied her intently.

"Yes…she is." He said slowly and Carly smiled, rising up on her tip toes slightly to kiss his lips again.

"Good. Then we won't have to worry about being caught anymore." She said softly against his mouth. Jack tentatively placed his hands at her hips and frowned.

"Carly," He said, his fingers pressing into her sides lightly. "Are you sure?"

Carly didn't respond, only re-settled back down onto the porch and with a flirtatious smile tugged Jack's jacket back into place. Taking the keys from his pocket, she turned and opened the front door leaving Jack no choice but to follow her with a stupid grin on his face.

"Hi, Emma, we're home." Carly said as she entered the dimly lit living room.

"Welcome back, you two." Emma said rising from the couch and stretching with a book in one hand.

"How was she?" Jack asked, helping Carly off with her coat and then removing his own.

"She was perfect. A little fussy at first when she realized that the voice talking to her during her feeding wasn't her mommy or daddy but she quieted down relatively easily." Emma said and moved to pick up her coat from the hook. "She's been asleep since about nine-thirty, but she must have been tired because she didn't drink that much before she conked out."

"Thank you for watching her, Emma. I'm sorry we're back so late." Carly said and Emma waved her off as she shrugged her coat on.

"It's fine, dear. I finally got to finish my book." Emma leaned over and kissed her goodbye, before barely covering up a yawn herself. "Although, I probably shouldn't have. My eyes aren't what they used to be and I'm afraid I gave myself one heck of a migraine."

Carly stared at her in concern and placed a hand on her arm. "Are you going to be okay to drive? I know that when I get migraines I can barely move, let alone tolerate headlights in my face."

"No, I should be okay. It's not far." Emma said, but now that they were looking more closely both Jack and Carly could see the tightness of the older woman's facial expression. They exchanged a troubled look between them and Carly nodded discreetly to Jack. The rest of their night would still run fine even with a slight detour.

"Hey, you know, it _is_ pretty late. Why don't you lemme drive you back to the farm tonight?" Jack said frowing.

"I'm fine, Jack." She said and then shook her head, although she couldn't hide the small wince that followed the movement.

"Emma, you can barely keep your eyes open and I know your head must be killing you. It's only an hour round trip and after the espresso I had with dessert, I'm more than awake enough to take you." Jack argued more and this time it was Emma who frowned.

"Don't be silly. What about my car?"

"I'll have Parker drive it to the farm in the morning and then we'll swing by to pick him up after we drop off Sage's friend at her house." Carly said, firmly. "Come on, Emma, please. We're just going to worry about you the whole time otherwise."

Emma was about to protest but seeing the truth of that last statement in both their faces, she relented. After everything that had gone on in the past couple months, the last thing this family needed was more reason worry, even over something as normal as her thirty minute car ride home.

As soon as Jack and Emma left, Carly went around the house turing off all of the lights except the one on the desk in the living room and the outside light to the front porch. Then, after taking a quick ten minute shower, Carly happily wrapped herself up in the thick, powder blue bathrobe that Jack and the kids had bought her as a welcome home present and started to go downstairs to make some tea. She was at the top of the stairs when she heard the first tentative cry coming from the nursery. She paused, wondering if Emmy was going to quiet down and go back to sleep but when it quickly escalated instead, Carly immediately changed direction.

The amount of light that lit the room from the full moon outside combined with the soft glow of the nightlight in the corner of the room allowed Carly to bypass the main light switch as she entered the nursery, heading straight for the crib and picking up her howling daughter.

"Hey, no need to be so dramatic there, Pumpkin." Carly said, cradling Emmy and the baby let out a frustrated wail, bringing her fist to her mouth and sucking hard. "Well, now, see, that's what happens when you don't eat all your dinner when it's first offered to you."

Carly settled into the glider and instantly Emmy turned her face towards her chest, her cries becoming more demanding.

"Oh, I get it! You were just waiting for the real thing, huh? Lulling your poor Aunt Emma into a sense of false security because you knew the full dairy bar would be home in a couple of hours." Carly said and drew aside her robe to expose what Emmy really wanted.

Emmy immediately latched on and began to eat eagerly, one of her tiny hands reaching up to firmly splay itself on Carly's breast as if claiming it as her own property. Chuckling, Carly began to rock slowly while drawing a finger down a round cheek as it furiously moved in and out. In the moonlight that seemed to land specifically on the mother and daughter duo, she could see that Emmy's little lashes were wet with her former tears and her blue eyes stared directly up into Carly's face as she drank. When a tiny dimple appeared in the same cheek that Carly was stroking, she couldn't help but laugh full out. If she didn't know any better, Carly would swear that she was being played by a three month old.

"Don't think that this little ploy is going to work all the time, Miss Thing. Mommy is on to you!"

Thirty minutes later, Emmy had switched sides and been properly burped twice. Draping the burp cloth over her left shoulder, Carly lifted Emmy to lie against it, while covering her with the small pale yellow receiving blanket that constantly hung over the one arm of the glider. Now that the baby was settling into a true deep sleep, Carly readjusted her bathrobe and relaxed too. Leaning her head back against the glider, she gently patted the tiny tush while she rocked slowly. Humming under her breath, she listened to the sound of Emmy's breathing become even before closing her own eyes, a wave of completeness washing over her.

A few minutes later, sensing that she and Emmy were no longer alone, Carly opened her eyes to see Jack leaning against the doorframe of the nursery. She gave him a warm smile and he sent one back as his eyes drank in the sight before him.

"Hey, you." Carly whispered, even though she knew that Emmy was completely dead to the world.

"Hey, you." Jack said back and started towards them. He stopped by the rocker and looked down into their sleeping daughter's face. "She looks happy."

"Why wouldn't she be?" Carly said, chuckling lightly as she also took in the small dimpled smile on Emmy's rounded face. "She just had a very satisfying meal and she's probably dreaming about waking me up at 4 AM to do it all over again."

Jack laughed and then reached down to carefully lift the baby into his own arms. Carly arched her back and stretched in the glider as she watched Jack rock Emmy soothingly for a moment before laying her down in her crib.

"You know, this is perfect."

Carly looked at him, slightly bewildered by the sudden statement and then smiled.

"Yeah, it is." She agreed and walked over to stare down at their daughter with him. Jack put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, kissing the side of her head. His expression was thoughtful and Carly just waited, knowing that whatever was on his mind wasn't too far from coming out of his mouth.

"Carly, for the past few years our lives seem like they have had one crisis after another. But the past couple of months have been amazing. We're starting to become family again, especially with the addition of this little girl, and I feel like I'm complete now. Plus, you're healthy and everyone is getting along so well…" Jack said and although she nodded, Carly didn't say anything back. When he cleared his throat she pulled away slightly and stared at him, waiting for him to continue. "What I mean is…"

Sighing Jack turned to face her fully and took both of her hands in his, looking down into her puzzled expression.

"Carly, I love you and I know you love me so what I want to know is…will you marry me?"

Carly's eyes widened and filled with tears. She pulled one of her hands free from his and placed it over her mouth as it formed a surprised "O". Swallowing hard, she took a deep breath and placed that same hand on his cheek.

"Oh Jack, you're right. I _do _love you." She said and leaned forward to kiss him softly on the lips before pulling back again to stare into his eyes. "I love you so much."

Jack felt a smile start to spread across his face but then the fingertips that had been against his cheek moved to cover his mouth and the look in her eyes caused him to freeze.

"But my answer…is no." Carly said, shaking her head sadly and moving her hand, she gave him one final kiss. "I can't marry you again."

Without another word she slipped around him and out of the nursery leaving behind a peacefully slumbering infant and an incredibly stunned Jack.


	67. To Plan A Future Understand The Past

**Author's Note: Wow, I'm so glad you guys aren't hunting me down for the way that last chapter ended! Yes, I agree that Jack needs to work hrd to get her back, just like he should when (not if!) the writers come to their senses and put them back together on the actual show. ;-)  
****Anyways, _this_ chapter is probably in my top five favorite chapters that I wrote because it was just so much fun and a nice break from the angst of before. Not to mention, I just think that when guys are so adorably clueless that it sometimes takes a round table of other adorably clueless men to help them figure stuff out. I hope you enjoy reading this one and laugh out loud a few times, like I did when I was writing it!  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_In order to plan your future wisely, it is necessary that you understand and appreciate your past."  
~Jo Coudert  
_************************************************************************************************************************************************

The next morning, Jack curtly told Carly that he would go pick up Sage and Elena from the sleepover and left without another word. Parker had driven Emma's car back to the farm as promised the night before. However, since Mattie was there helping with the horses he elected to stay with her until she was done and then go back to her house to watch a movie...under the watchful eye of Molly, of course.

After dropping Sage back off at home, Jack had told her to tell Carly that he was going out and didn't know if he'd be home for dinner. Ignoring the confused look on his daughter's face he just sent her a tight smile and waited until she entered the house before pulling away. As he drove towards town, he called the only people that he knew could help pull him out of the angry funk he was in after Carly's rebuff last night.

Now, as the last member of his little support group entered Yo's, Jack waved him over and pointed to the empty stool on the other side of him.

"Hey dude, we were waiting for you. What took you so long?"

Brad flopped down in the stool at the bar counter with a sideways look in Jack and Holden's direction. After raising his hand to order a beer, he dropped his head down on top of his arms and groaned.

"What happened to _you_?" Jack asked, peering at his younger brother.

"Cause you look like a hobo." Holden added, eyeing Brad disdainfully.

Brad's normally pristine hair was unkempt, his shirt was rumpled as well as only being half tucked in and his socks didn't even match. Not to mention he had large dark circles under his eyes and what could only be described as a "seven o'clock shadow" instead of a five o'clock one.

"Colic was invented by the devil." Brad mumbled then groaned again. Holden and Jack tossed each other a glance and then looked away as they tried to contain their laughter. Unfortunately Brad heard their snickers anyway and lifted his head to glare at them. "What in the hell is so funny?"

"You, in the new role of parent to an infant." Holden managed to get out before almost choking on his beer because he was laughing so hard.

"Brad, you were going on for _months_ before Robby was born about how easy it was going to be a father. And I quote '_how much trouble could one little baby be, anyway_', end quote. You were driving us all nuts, remember?" Jack said, shoving Holden slightly to try and get him to stop laughing. He wasn't doing it for Brad's sake; he just knew that if Holden didn't stop Jack was likely to lose it any minute too.

"Yeah, but that was before…" Brad said, running both hands through his hair and shaking his head.

"Before what?" Holden asked, wiping tears away from his eyes and trying to settle back down.

"Before I became convinced that my son is possessed." Brad said and while he was mainly joking, there was a slight air of seriousness to his statement.

Jack choked back another laugh and gave him a cautious look. "Are you sure you should be here? What did you do, leave Katie home alone with the baby?"

"No, Margo came over and she's watching him while Katie takes a nap." Brad shook his head and sighed. "Although, I don't know why. During the day, Robby really _is_ no problem. It's almost like he lies in wait for the sun to go down before turning into something out of a horror movie."

It was only because both Holden and Jack knew how much Brad really loved his son and the fact that he was going through something that many other new parents had been going through since the beginning of time, that allowed them to derive such entertainment from his misery. The two of them exchanged another look before they covered their new laughing fit with very bad fake coughs.

"You know what? Thanks for the support." Brad said glaring at them before drinking from the green bottle of beer the bartender laid in front of him. The man gave Brad an understanding look before returning to his other customers and Brad gave a loud huff. "You see that? Even_ Joe_ is giving me more sympathy than you two."

"Sorry, man." Jack said, patting Brad on the back and shaking the last of his laughter out. "I know it's hard but it gets easier."

"So you're having the same trouble with Emmy?" Brad asked hopefully but Jack just snorted.

"Are you kidding me? My baby girl just turned three months old and _she _is an angel." Jack said proudly, raising his beer up. "Even Dr. Maynard said she has a very sweet personality. Not to mention, for a preemie she is already almost dead even for the average percentile of babies her age."

"Over-achiever." Brad mumbled and then yelped when Jack smacked him upside the head.

"Hey, where's Lee?" Holden asked, sipping his beer and frowning. "Isn't he our new fourth Musketeer?"

"Weren't there only three Musketeers?" Brad asked, frowning as well.

"Technically yes, in the beginning since d'Artagnan only started out as someone who _wanted_ to be one. But, by the end of the novel, he actually was made a lieutenant in the Musketeers, therefore making the title of the novel null and void." Holden explained and both Jack and Brad just stared at him vacantly.

Holden held up his hands and shook his head.

"Hey, don't judge me. Luke had to do a huge report on it for a project in junior high school and for weeks I saw Musketeers in my sleep!"

"Uh huh…" Brad said, still giving Holden another strange look before turning to Jack again. "So, back to the earlier question…where's the Kangaroo Kid?"

"_Lee_ is on call at the hospital but he did say that the first round was on him." Jack said, rolling his eyes at his brother's nickname for Lee, and made a gesture to order another beer.

"Yeah, I figured it was work. I didn't see him missing out on this conversation for anything else seeing how close he and Carly are." Holden said and also gestured for second beer. "That and the fact that Molly would have wanted specific details about what we're going to say."

"By the way, we _are_ here to discuss your date last night with Carly, right?" Brad clarified and at Jack's nod, he smiled. "Well then, how'd it go? I know you were thinking about doing it but…did you actually get to ask her?"

Immediately Jack's mood soured and he stared down at the red-lettered label on his dark brown beer bottle.

"Yeah." Jack said shortly and both other males frowned.

"Well, what happened?" Holden ventured to ask and Jack frowned even harder than the two of them.

"She said no. She said that she loved me, but couldn't marry me again."

"_Really?_" Brad asked, his jaw practically hanging open wide enough to catch flies. Then his brow furrowed and he pointed his beer at Jack. "Did you ask her right? I mean, some women are very picky about how they get proposed to."

"_I _thought it was going amazing. I mean, the whole evening was perfect. We were laughing the way we used to and talking the way we used to. I even got her to dance with me to one of our favorite songs. I was going to do it during dessert but then I realized I left the ring in my desk at work. So I thought maybe it was a sign, ya know? That I should just wait for another night."

Holden and Brad nodded, although both of them were sort of inwardly hoping that Jack would get to the point rather quickly. They were curious but they were still guys and had relatively short attention spans when it came to any story-telling that didn't revolve around sports, naked women, or food. Or, better yet, some type of combination of the three.

"Then later, when Emmy was asleep, we were standing over our daughter's crib, looking down at this perfect tiny person that we had made together and the moment just felt right. Or…at least I _thought_ it felt right. I don't know. I guess it wasn't because she said no, kissed me goodnight and by the time I got over my shock enough to speak properly again, the boys came home from the dance. By the time I got her alone again, it was nearly one in the morning and she was already half-asleep in bed. Although it might be a good thing because I think that if I _had_ been able to talk to her I probably would have said some things I would have regretted. "

"Wow…I'm sorry, man." Brad said, reaching out to place a hand on Jack's shoulder. "I really thought she'd say yes."

"Me too." Holden said quietly but something in his voice made Jack look at him closely.

"You know, you don't seem too surprised by my news." Jack said, narrowing his eyes at Holden.

His cousin sighed and then setting his beer bottle back down, scrunched his nose up and mumbled, "Yeah, that might be because I already knew."

"What? How the _hell _did you…" Brad started to say and then he and Jack exchanged glances.

"Lily." They said simultaneously and Holden nodded.

"Carly called Lily this morning when you went to go pick up Sage from her friend's house. She was terrified that you wouldn't come back and that she had messed everything up."

"Well while she was telling your wife all this did she happen to mention _why_ she turned me down? I mean, we've been apart for almost four years now! One son was kidnapped, one went on trial for murder, our daughter ran away, I almost died, _she_ almost died _twice_, our new daughter almost died...it was never ending! And now, when everything seems to finally be normal again, what possible reason could she have of not being a family the way we should have been in the first place?" Jack asked, finishing his mini-rant in exasperation.

"Um, it appears that, those _are_ her reasons pretty much word for word." Holden said and Jack just stared at him for a long moment.

"Okay, you lost me." He finally said, shaking his head in bewilderment.

"Look, Jack. You and Carly have been getting along better than you have in years. But...you're right. After everything that's happened to you guys, especially lately, it's a lot to take in. Putting the other stuff aside, Carly lost out on a _month_ of her life, man. Add the fact that you guys almost lost your daughter before either of you ever had a chance to meet her and, despite all reassurances, you _know _that she's still blaming herself for that." Holden said, trying his best to reiterate what Lily had babbled on about this morning while also putting it into easier, man-friendly, terms. "Carly thinks that if you guys get married again it will only be because you are afraid of something else going wrong, not because you really want to be with her."

"Wow." Brad said when he finished and rolled his eyes, taking another sip of beer. "Thank you, Doctor Phil."

"Shut up, Brad." Holden responded, narrowing his eyes at him. Jack waved a hand and both guys turned their attention back to the very confused man they were supposed to be helping.

"So…what you're saying is…that Carly _does_ want to marry me again, she just is _afraid_ to marry me again because she doesn't think that _I _really want to marry _her_ again?" Jack said slowly, his face showing his complete bafflement as he said the words.

"Um, I think so." Holden said hesitantly, trying to go over the conversation again in his mind and then nodded more confidently. "Yeah, pretty much."

Jack furrowed his brow and then dropped his head onto his forearms like Brad had done earlier.

"My head hurts."

Brad chuckled at Jack's words and threw his arm over his brother's shoulders. "Ha! You think women are complicated now? Just wait until Sage is a teenager!"

"Don't _make_ me hurt you." Jack's muffled voice floated up and then, after a long moment, he lifted his head to prop his chin up in the palm of his hand. "Okay, so what the hell do I do now? How do I convince her that I really want to be with her and not because of the kids or anything like that?"

"Do you love her?" Holden asked and Jack shot him a look that clearly conveyed his worry over Holden's sanity.

"_Of course_ I love her, Holden." Jack said, the frustration he was feeling very evident in his voice. "God, words can't even _begin_ to describe how much I love her."

"Well, then, prove it. _Show_ her that you love her. Come up with a plan." Holden said and Jack frowned.

"Okay…do I need to remind you what happened the last time we decided I should come up with a plan?"

"Yeah, but the timing was all wrong for _that_ plan." Brad chimed in and shook his head. "This time, it'll work. You just have to woo her properly."

"_Woo_ her?" Jack repeated and even Holden sent his younger cousin a look.

"Who the hell are you, all of sudden? Shakespeare?" Holden asked, staring at him oddly.

"Yeah, yeah, make fun. But what I said is true and you know it." Brad said and pointed a finger at Jack. "You need a very romantic plan, Big Brother, and the sooner the better."

Jack sighed and sipped his beer, staring at his reflection in the mirror behind the bar. Holden and Brad seemed to sense that he had mentally drifted away from them and began to talk to each other, letting Jack have some thinking time to himself.

Suddenly, something in their conversation sparked an idea in Jack's brain and his eyes narrowed.

"Wait, what did you say?" Jack asked turning to Holden.

Holden exchanged a glance with Brad and then shrugged at Jack. "When?"

"Just now…not more than two seconds ago." Jack said urgently.

"Um, that it's going to be a cold…"

"Yes! That's it! I've got it!" Jack said his brain already forming ideas upon ideas before Holden finished his sentence.

"Got what, Bro?" Brad asked, starting to feel faintly concerned that Jack had finally snapped.

"_I've_ got a plan." Jack said, his eyes twinkling as he glanced from Brad to Holden and back again. "But I'm going to need a _lot_ of help."

"What_ exactly_ are you thinking?" Holden said slowly, suddenly wary of the gleam in his cousin's eye.

Jack gave them a basic run down of his main idea and when he was done Brad and Holden looked at each other again with wide eyes. But then, almost immediately, both men shrugged at the same time.

"Hell, I'm in." Holden said, raising his beer.

"Me too, especially if it gets me out of diaper duty every once and a while." Brad added and raised his up too.

"Guys, to the most important and elaborate plan I will ever come up with in my life." Jack said, raising his own bottle to meet in the middle of theirs. "Because if this doesn't work...I _might_ just lose my damn mind."

The three men brought their beers together with a loud and resounding clink before taking long drinks. Brad thoughtfully stared at his nearly empty green glass bottle and shrugged.

"Look at it this way. If it doesn't work, in seven years, no matter what, she's considered your common law wife anyway."

This time, at least, Brad knew enough to duck when both of his companions reached out to smack him on the back of the head.


	68. When You Want It Take Action

**Author's Note: Hey guys! I'm glad you all like the last chapter so much and yes, Holden is dead to me on the show, but here in my happy CarJack land, I'm pretending it never happened. I suggest that you all pretend with me...it's less painful that way. LOL Okay, we're down to the last five chapters, my friends, and...I can't say anymore or I'll start to cry...again. So, as usual just...ENJOY!  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Everything you want is out there waiting for you to ask. Everything you want also wants you. But you have to take action to get it."__  
~Jules Renard _************************************************************************************************************************************************

To Carly's surprise, just before dinner on Sunday, Jack walked in the door to Milltown and it was as if her refusal on Saturday night never happened. He kissed her on the cheek and nonchalantly said that he would help J.J. and Parker set the table.

She walked around on eggshells the first few days, waiting for Jack to drop the act and finally be angry and hurt or worse yet…just flat out leave.

But, after a week of realizing that nothing had changed in his interaction between the kids and more importantly her, Carly finally let herself release the breath she felt like she had been holding the entire time. They still didn't mention the marriage proposal, though, and the intimacy that had been shared on Saturday night on their front porch, was been put on hold, but overall life went on exactly as it had been for the past two and a half months.

Now, coming upon the last weekend in October, it had been almost three full weeks since Carly had turned down Jack's marriage proposal and life was _still_ decidedly normal.

Except, somewhere around the middle of week two, Carly found that she was no longer relieved at Jack's reaction, but that she was more confused than anything. Week three saw Carly moving on from confused to, quite frankly, rather insulted that Jack had let her reaction go so easily!

Monday of that week, Carly had vented her frustration over the phone to Lily, who simply said, "Maybe Jack is just following your lead, Carly. You are the one who turned him down and maybe he just took the hint that you needed more time."

Carly thanked Lily for her advice and then promptly moved on to complain to Lee when they met for coffee and catching up on Tuesday.

His advice consisted of two sentences: "Luv, you're talking to the guy who got engaged by way of a surprise courtroom announcement. Plus, you just ignore everything I have to say anyway!"

To give Lee credit he was absolutely right, since Carly kissed his cheek, told him he was sweet, and then whined to Molly on Wednesday as they wandered around Oakdale Mall with Emmy happily sleeping in her stroller.

Molly's wise words were, "Jack is a pretty smart guy, honey, but men…men as a whole are kinda clueless. Give it time and then start to drop hints that you might have changed your mind. He'll get it eventually and then…ooooh, cute top!"

After sighing and giving in to her cousin's shopping ADD, Carly was utterly exhausted and still clueless as to what to do with the conflicting emotions that swirled around her. However, by early Thursday evening she was too busy with her children's Halloween activities to try and find another victim's brain to pick about the situation between her and Jack.

Sage had been invited to trick-or-treat on Saturday with a friend from camp who was visiting Oakdale with her mother, who was coincidentally on a business trip that included a meeting at the Lakeview. Sage had also managed to con Carly and Jack into letting her sleep over at the Lakeview on Friday night, after a lot of promises to behave herself and _not_ indulge in two straight nights of pure junk food.

Oakdale High School's annual "Haunted High" was in full swing and both of their sons, plus Mattie and Faith, had signed up to participate in planning. Carly had shuddered listening to the four them brainstorm ideas for what they could transform the room they were assigned to decorate into. Jack had laughed and accused her of being squeamish, but she wasn't the only one who had paled when the kids had managed to find a website that sold a machine that created the stench of rotting corpses and incorporated that into their "zombie room" idea.

As Carly put the last finishing touches, a la sequins galore, on Sage's homemade Hannah Montana costume, the phone rang loudly throughout the house. After it rang five times, Carly rolled her eyes and took out the straight pins she had hanging out of her mouth.

"Don't worry, _I'll_ get it!" She called up to the rest of her unresponsive family, reaching for the phone on the coffee table with a loud sigh. "Hello?"

"Hey, Carly, it's Margo."

"Oh, hi, Margo." Carly said, shifting the phone in between her shoulder and cheek as she put the extra pins back in the plastic case with the others.

"I didn't wake the baby, did I?" Margo asked and Carly's eyes flickered to where Emmy lay on the floor on a play mat, completely content to swipe at the brightly colored toys dangling over her head.

"Nope, not at all." Carly answered, smiling at her baby even though Emmy wasn't paying the slightest attention to her at all.

"Oh, good. I didn't know if I would be interrupting the end of her afternoon nap or anything." Margo said. "Um, is Jack around? I really need to talk to him and he's not picking up his cell phone."

"Uh, yeah, hold on, let me get him."

Carly called up to Jack but, again, received no response. Frowning, she called once more and was sufficiently startled when he appeared out of the kitchen.

"What the…where did you come from? I thought you were upstairs helping J.J. with a project for school." Carly asked, her gaze equal parts bewildered and accusatory.

"No, he said he was okay for the moment. I came down a little while ago to take the trash out. You were so intent on Sage's costume, I guess you didn't notice." Jack said, grinning at her, before walking over to bend down and say hi to Emmy.

"Oh, well, Margo's on the phone." Carly said and held out the phone in his direction. Jack took it and motioned towards the costume that sat next to Carly on the couch.

"At least we know that she'll be wearing something reflective Saturday night." Jack said and Carly rolled her eyes, but bit back a laugh. Jack winked and turned his attention to the phone. "Hey, Margo, what's up?"

His face slipped from its happy smile into a small frown as he listened to his boss.

"Wow, that much damage? And they don't know who did it?"

At his words, Carly looked up from where she had collected a fussing Emmy from the play mat. After triple checking the surrounding area for any loose sewing material, she shifted to lean back against the sofa while reaching behind her for the throw blanket hanging over the back. Covering her and Emmy she began to feed their hungry daughter, but her eyes never once left Jack's face.

"No, I understand. If you need me to be on duty, I will be." Running his hand through his hair, he finally sighed and shook his head slightly. "Okay, I'll talk to you later. Goodnight."

Jack hung up the phone and placed it back in its cradle on the desk by the front door.

"Everything okay, Jack?"

At Carly's concerned question, he turned to see her staring at him and sighed again.

"There was some vandalism over in Heathersford from some suspected rival teen gangs and there is a rumor going around the precincts that there might be similar trouble on Saturday night. Margo is putting together a small 24 hour patrol to make sure everything goes smoothly."

"But, isn't _Friday_ usually reserved for 'mischief night'?" Carly asked, instinctively holding Emmy closer at his news.

"Yeah, but Oakdale has never had a problem. We get maybe some toilet papered houses and a few smashed pumpkins but other than that, it's relatively quiet. But this rumor…Margo just wants to make sure the streets are safe for the kids. Even though most of the teenagers are in and out of the haunted house at the high school all night, there's still the younger kids."

"Will you be able to see the kids before we all head out on Saturday?" Carly asked, frowning now as well.

In Oakdale, the early evening of Halloween was designated mainly for kids aged 10 and under to trick-or-treat. It lasted until 8pm and, like many parents of young children, Carly thought it was nice to be able to go around the neighborhood and not have to worry about it being pitch black with rowdy teenagers in scary costumes roaming around.

Carly thought about the costume that she had picked out for Emmy and the small group of family that was coming over to Milltown. This year, along with Emmy as a little ladybug, there would be Katie and Brad bringing Robby as Batman, and Meg and Paul with Eliza as Disney's Snow White. Leading the pack would be Lily and Holden with Ethan who had tried to insist on wearing his HULK costume for at least fifteen minutes every night since the beginning of October. Seeing as how it came complete with gloves with made a smashing noise when they came in contact with anything, those fifteen minutes a night were driving Holden, Lily, Faith, and Natalie up a wall.

"I don't know, honey, but I am certainly going to try. Margo asked me to start early, like around eight or so in the morning, and hopefully I'll be able to get someone to cover for me for about an hour while we take the kids out." Jack said, coming over to settle next to her on the couch.

Carly sighed and deftly readjusted herself and handed Emmy to Jack to burp at the same time.

"I just don't want you to miss this."

"Sweetie, we got professional pictures of her in her costume a few days ago and it's not like she's gonna remember it. Or even be awake." Jack said and when Emmy let out a considerably loud burp for such a small baby, he lifted her to hold in front of his face and chuckled. "Yes! Isn't that right, Baby Girl? Tell Mommy that _next _year is when we are really going to have to worry about trying to make sure you're not stuffing candy in your mouth when we're not looking!"

Carly watched him fuss over Emmy with a small smile and rolled her eyes.

"You know, if she has you this wrapped around her finger at this age, I think we are in some serious trouble."

Sage chose that moment to come bounding down the stairs and flopped down on the couch at Jack's other side.

"Hi, Daddy! You're still going to watch the Hannah Montana Halloween special with me tonight, right? You promised!"

Leaning into her dad's side, Sage reached up to tickled Emmy, as she blissfully rested her head on his shoulder. Jack looked over at Carly, who barely held back her laughter as she stood to go check on dinner.

"Oh yeah," She said, her gaze switching between Jack and their two happy daughters who were, without a doubt, the epitomes of Daddy's girls. "_You_ are in some serious trouble."

The next day flew by and, other than dropping Sage off at the Lakeview for her sleepover and going over some upcoming party reservations at Metro with Henry, it was an uneventful Friday for Carly.

When Saturday morning arrived she found herself not only saying goodbye to Jack in the early morning light but also her sons as they brushed past her in order to head over to the high school and meet the other students preparing for the night's festivities. So by eight o'clock Carly found her home was filled something that she hadn't had in a while…complete silence. Well, other than the noise of the percolating coffee machine in the kitchen and Emmy's soft cooing as Carly changed her morning diaper.

Finishing up and talking softly to her daughter on the way down the stairs, Carly held Emmy close as she headed for the kitchen. A knock at the door caused her to turn and frown slightly, recognizing the blurred outline of her cousin on the other side of the frosted glass. She walked over and upon opening it, tilted her head in confusion.

"Hey." Molly said, her eyes twinkling as she smiled at Carly and Emmy

"Hey, Cuz." Carly said, shifting Emmy to the front of her where the baby regarded Molly with alert blue eyes. "What brings you here so early?"

"I had an early meeting at WOAK and ran into Jack at Java. He mentioned that you were home alone with Emmy and I thought you might like some company." Molly said, reaching out to tickle Emmy under the chin and receiving a dimpled smile in return. Then holding up a white paper bag, she added with a grin. "And some breakfast."

"Molly, if those are what I think they are, you are my favorite cousin ever."

"Yes, they're chocolate croissants_ and_ they're still warm so..." Molly said and laughed when Carly hurriedly moved aside to usher her into the house.

"Where are the kids? Jack said something about Sage staying at the Lakeview with a friend from camp but we didn't really get a chance to talk before he had to start his shift." Molly said when Carly had come back from the kitchen with two cups of coffee for them to enjoy with the croissants. Sitting down next to her cousin, Carly quickly looked over to check on Emmy, who now sat contentedly in her baby swing, staring up at the soft, stuffed flowers that hung just over her head.

"Yeah, her friend Jamie is here with her mother, who had some business meeting this weekend. She stayed over last night and the girls are going to meet up with Natalie and some friends tonight to go trick-or-treating." Carly said, taking a sip of her coffee and leaning back against the sofa.

"Oh, are you taking them?" Molly asked, reaching over to tear a piece of her own croissant off and popping it into her mouth.

"No, Lily and Holden are going to follow them this year. At a discreet distance, of course, lest they embarrass the girls." Carly said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, of course." Molly agreed, rolling her eyes too.

"Yeah, and since Jack has to work tonight it's easier for me to stay home with Emmy and pass out the candy."

"Aw, are you guys still planning on having everyone meet here to take the little kids out?" Molly said, turning her eyes to the baby. Both Carly and Molly smiled at the fact that Emmy seemed to be in deep conversation with those little inanimate flowers on her swing.

"Yeah, I called everyone last night and they're all coming over around six. While Lily and Holden take the girls around, Ethan will stay here with me and Emmy until they're done." Carly said and then frowned. "I just hope that Jack can get off long enough to at least go with us around the neighborhood."

"I'm sure Margo won't object to an hour or so. Besides, it certainly doesn't hurt that you guys are going to have the cutest bunch of kids out of everyone in Oakdale. Who could say no to that?" Molly said and Carly laughed.

"Not that you're biased or anything." Carly said and Molly sniffed in mock indignation.

"Of course not."

After another laugh, Carly finished off the rest of her croissant and looked at Molly intently.

"So how are the wedding plans coming along?"

"Um, still slowly but there really isn't much to plan, ya know?" Molly said, shifting so that she too was leaning back against the couch, allowing Carly to see Emmy over her shoulder.

"Still looking to do it the weekend after Christmas?" Carly asked, raising an eyebrow even as Molly nodded her head.

"Yup. Now that Lee has full guardianship of Mattie, we really just want to start out the new year as a family." Molly said, looking up at Carly from under her lashes to see if her words affected her cousin at all. While Carly's mouth thinned momentarily, she didn't say anything. Molly let out a silent sigh and put on a smile. "You still sure about letting us have the reception at Metro?"

"Absolutely. You and Lee said it's just going to be a small group of people and we'll be starting to set up for New Year's Eve that following Monday anyway."

"As long as you're sure." Molly said, draining the last bit of her coffee, but still holding on to her mug.

"Very sure. However, you and Mattie need to come over soon and let me know what you think of the dress designs I did." Carly said causing Molly to smile.

"Cuz, I'm sure they're gorgeous." Molly paused and then asked tentatively, "Speaking of designs, have you called Monique yet?"

Carly's smile faded and she shook her head. "No. I mean, I know I should but I just…"

"Harder than you thought to let go of that dream again, huh?" Molly said sympathetically and Carly sighed.

"I can't move to California, Molly. I know I can't. And my collection that I already did for MoJo Designs is selling so well to stores that the profit I will make from that alone, will guarantee my kids college funds."

"But…" Molly prompted.

"But, you're right. It is a lot harder to give up my designing now that I've had a taste success outside of the control of someone like Barbara Ryan or Craig Montgomery." Carly admitted and tilted her head to look at Molly curiously. "How did you do it? How did you give up your job in L.A. to move back here to Oakdale so easily?"

"Oh, 'easily' is _not_ how I would describe the decision making process at all." Molly scoffed. "But my situation is so different than yours, honey. Now that WOAK is doing that primetime segment similar to Entertainment Tonight in conjunction with a sister station in Chicago, I only have to travel there and to L.A. when there are big premieres. Other than that, I'll just be doing live news feed, like any other broadcaster. Only this time it will be about Hollywood instead of what I used to do before."

Molly shrugged and her face became thoughtful.

"Besides, Lee's job is so perfect for him and I could never ask Mattie to leave the place she calls home again. Not after everything she's been through. And you're here and the kids and Abigail said that she has been wanting to visit Holden more so it's not like I won't be seeing her and... oh, I dunno. This is where my family is and this is where we belong."

Stopping again, Molly looked into Carly's face and reaching up she placed a hand on Carly's cheek, giving her a soft smile

"You're making the right decision, Cuz. Just like us, this is where you and _your_ family belong."

Carly placed her hand over Molly's and leaned into her cousin's touch. "I know."

They sat in silence for a few moments and then Molly's face lit up. "Hey, any plans for the day other than later tonight with the whole trick-or-treating thing?"

"Um, none that I can think of." Carly asked perplexed. "Why?"

"Well, Lee's on call and Mattie is at the high school with the boys and the rest of the planning committee so I'm all alone today too. The Fear Channel is playing all the classics today; _Friday the 13__th__, Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween 1_ and_ 2_. Let's have a proper fright fest!" Molly said, excitedly.

"Molly, I am not introducing my almost four month old to Jason, Freddy Kruger, and Mike Myers!" Carly said, her eyes wide. "_I _have enough problems trying to keep the nightmares away when I watch those stupid movies."

"Oh come on, you wuss!" Molly said, finally placing her coffee mug down on the table and reaching out to take Carly's hands in hers. Emmy suddenly let out a loud cry and both women turned to stare at the baby. She started to fuss again and Carly went to go lift her out of the swing, cuddling her on her lap when she sat back down on the couch again.

"See? Even Emmy doesn't want to watch them." Carly said, dropping a kiss on the baby's fine dirty blond hair and Molly rolled her eyes.

"Well then, how bout we at least gossip our heads off and then catch _Poltergeist_ when she goes down for her mid-morning nap?"

Carly couldn't help but laugh at the eager expression on her cousin's face and nodded.

"Alright, alright!" Carly relented, still laughing. "But if we're going to gossip, I'm going to need more chocolate than that one little croissant."

They stuck to their plan and just enjoyed spending the morning with each other in a good old fashioned gab fest, pausing only to watch The Poltergeist as Molly requested when Emmy went down for her nap at ten. When Emmy woke up again, three and a half hours later, Carly breastfed the baby and let Molly have the fun of burping her and changing her diaper, while Carly cleaned up their plates from their own lunch.

"How you talked me into watching a movie where the youngest child gets sucked into TV, I'll never know." Carly shouted from the kitchen as Molly finished up with Emmy's diaper.

"Oh it wasn't _that_ bad. Besides, look at it this way, Emmy can't even really focus on the television yet, let alone be lured in by ghosts. Isn't that right, Sweet Pea?" Molly said, tickling her nails up and down the baby's soft belly before pulling down the purple butterfly shirt she was wearing.

Seeing the grin on Emmy's face, Molly lifted the shirt again and repeated the action, getting a full out laugh this time. Scooping her up into her arms, Molly kissed the baby's rosy cheek and walked back over to the couch, just as Carly entered from the kitchen.

"Ha, ha, very funny." Carly said dryly, reaching out to smooth Emmy's shirt down but happily letting Molly continue to hold her.

They had both just re-settled back onto the couch when the phone rang through the house. Carly got up again and smiled as Emmy reached up to play with Molly's growing brunette locks, getting a nice fist full and tugging hard.

"Hello?" Carly said into the phone, barely concealing her laughter as Molly winced and gently pried Emmy's baby fingers out of her hair.

"Mommy?"

At the sound of Sage's voice, Carly's brow furrowed and she held the phone tighter.

"Sage, honey, what's wrong?"

"Mommy, can you come get me please?"

"Sage, what happened?"

"Nothing, I just…I don't feel good and I know Daddy's working." Sage said, her voice sounding like she was on the verge of tears. "I'm sorry, Mommy. I know I was supposed to stay here and go trick or treating with Jamie tonight but…I _really_ wanna come home."

"Aw, sweetie, it's okay." Carly soothed. "If you don't feel good, you don't feel good."

Molly held Emmy close to her as she offered her a stuffed toy as a distraction from her hair, and waved in Carly's direction to get her attention.

"If you have to go pick her up, I'll stay here with Emmy." Molly said and Carly sent her a grateful smile before refocusing on her older daughter.

"You know what, honey, you just hang tight. I'm on my way, okay?"

"Thanks, Mommy." Sage said with a small sigh and hung up the phone.

"Is Sage okay?" Molly asked as Carly hung up on her end and looked around hastily for her car keys.

"Yeah, she's not feeling too hot. Probably too much junk food and not enough sleep last night." Carly said, frowning as she dug through the desk drawer swearing that her keys had been right on top earlier.

"Carly, just take my car. My keys are in my coat pocket." Molly said, pointing to where her jacket hung on the coat hook.

Carly reached in and held them up triumphantly. She tossed on her own coat and then sent Molly a hesitant look.

"Are you sure you don't mind watching Emmy?"

"Go, Cuz! We'll be fine. You're only going to the Lakeview right?" Molly said and Carly nodded as she reached out to grab her purse. "You just fed her, but if she gets hungry again, I'll heat one of the _bazillion_ bottles you have in the fridge. Go!"

"Thanks!" Carly blew her and Emmy a kiss and hurried out the door.

Carly told herself over and over in the car that Sage just had a stomachache, but still she couldn't stop herself from pressing down on the gas pedal a little more than she probably should have. When it came to her children and the possibility of them being sick, Carly's resolve to get to them as soon as possible was second to none.

She entered the Lakeview twenty minutes later and hurried to the elevator. Fumbling in her purse for the slip of paper she had written all the information gathered from Sage's friend's mom, she pushed the button for the 12th floor. Rocking slightly on her feet, she couldn't help but smile when she realized that the song playing in the elevator as "The Best Is Yet To Come".

The doors opened again and she followed the directional signs to room 1239, the heels of her black leather boots thudding along softly on the thick hotel hallway carpet. Stopping outside the door, she paused upon noticing that it was cracked open. Knocking and pushing it open enough to stick her head in, Carly frowned.

"Hello? Sage?"

Knocking again before entering the room fully, Carly recognized immediately that this was one of the new double suites that Lily had mentioned they were recently done renovating. She was in a nice sized sitting room with dining table, flat screen, and what she assumed was a pullout sofa. Turning her head she could see behind her and slightly to her left was another room where the edge of the bed in the main sleeping area caught her eye.

The sound of voices came from that room and Carly instinctively moved to enter the bedroom once again calling out her daughter's name.

However, she stopped in her tracks just inside the doorframe, taking in the soft sound of music swirling about her and the bouquets of roses placed around the room. On the huge king sized poster bed was a large rectangular white gift box, wrapped with a pale pink ribbon and a card with her name written in black lettering taped to the top.

She couldn't help herself and she stepped forward to tentatively touch the box on the bed before pulling her hand back as if bitten.

"What is going on around here?" Carly asked softly, her voice filled with confusion.

A noise behind her made her turn around and her jaw dropped open at the sight of Jack walking in, carrying a gorgeous bouquet of at least two dozen white and peach colored roses.

"Jack?" Carly managed to gasp out and her eyes traveled over him once more before meeting his amused expression. "What…what is all this?"

Jack placed the roses on the bed next to the large box and took one hand in his, the other reaching up to cup Carly's face. His thumb stroked her cheekbone and his eyes were warm and sincere as he looked down into her bewildered gaze.

"This, Carly, is our wedding day."


	69. The Will To Surrender To Change

**Author's Note: So the coutdown continues...four more chapters to go after this one. *sigh* It's kinda depressing even _me_ now. LOL I'd really love to get at least 10 reviews for the final chapters so if you love it or even if you hate it, please let me know. However, these were definitely some of my favorites to write and I can see them so clearly in my head that I hope you can too. :)  
ENJOY!  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become."  
~Unknown  
_************************************************************************************************************************************************

Carly just stared at Jack for a long moment before shaking her head, effectively causing his hand to slide off of her cheek.

"_Excuse me_?" She exclaimed, her eyes wide. "What did you just say to me?"

"I said that today is…" Jack started to repeat but Carly held up a hand and backed up a few steps, closing her eyes in the process.

"No, _no_…I _heard _what you said. And, okay, I admit that _asking_ you what you had just said wasn't the most articulate thing_ I_ could have said at the moment but…" Carly rambled and then looked at him again, the look on her face clearly conveying her absolute confusion. "I don't…I don't understand what is going on here."

Her face then registered a moment of panic and she looked around him as if searching for something. "Where's Sage? Is she okay?"

"Sage is fine." Jack said calmly reaching out to take Carly's hands in his. She looked at him, a frown on her face. "We had to get you here somehow and while I admit, it probably wasn't the greatest way to do it, you _did_ get here pretty quickly."

She shook her head and thought about that he was saying.

"So, there was no sleepover?" Carly asked and Jack gave her a guilty look.

"Well, sort of. Sage did sleep here at the Lakeview last night, but she stayed with Lily, Molly, Mattie, Faith, and Natalie." Jack ticked off each female he named with the fingers on his left hand and smiled, which dimmed when he saw that she was having none of it.

"Then _who_ did I talk to claiming to be Jamie's mom?" Carly said, remembering the nice woman she had a decent conversation with on Thursday and Friday.

"Um, one of the housekeeping managers. Her name's Rachel. You'd like her!" Jack replied and Carly narrowed her eyes as she thought back to something he had just said.

"Wait, Molly? You said Sage was here with Molly? So that means…"

"Yeah, Molly was in on it too. A lot of people were actually."

"Like who, Jack?" Carly asked and he made a face, as he thought about the various people that had jumped in to help him out.

"Well, Margo for one."

"You're not…you're not on duty, are you?" Carly said slowly and Jack knew that, since she was usually much quicker on the uptake, she really was in a slight state of shock.

"No." Jack said shaking his head and grinning. "I can't marry you if I'm on duty during the ceremony."

_'Ceremony'_ Carly mouthed after him and he decided to keep naming people to give her the time to adjust to what was going on while he talked.

"Um, Brad and Holden, have been running around setting up the conference room for the ceremony and the ballroom for the reception. Emma helped pick out the menu and the cake. Lily, obviously, cleared the Lakeview's event schedule and put us in last minute, plus gave us some nice rooms to get ready in. Molly and Mattie took care of the guest list and attire…well most of the attire. The kids were instrumental in making sure you were too busy to pay any attention to what we were doing, not to mention I think they have something planned with Lee but they won't even tell _me_ what it is."

Carly's brain tried to absorb everything that Jack had just told her and she slipped her hands out of his, taking a giant step backwards lean against one of the four wooden post of the bed. Staring at him while he stood there looking smug, hopeful, and sheepish all at the same time, Carly didn't know whether to kiss him or kick him in the shins.

"Carly, I need you to listen to me for a minute okay? Just let me say this and then you can rant and rave and tell me how self-absorbed I am for doing this." Jack said and when Carly didn't say anything, only raised an eyebrow, he took that as a sign to continue. "I know you said that you couldn't marry me again when I asked you a few weeks ago and I think I know why."

"Seriously? You chose _today_ to do this? You do remember that it's Halloween, right?" Carly interjected and Jack raised a hand.

"Honey, please? Five minutes without you talking is all I'm asking."

At his words, Carly shut her mouth again and even though her eyes flashed dangerously, her lips twitched in an effort not to smile.

"Yes, I know what today is. I believe that this date, a few years ago, was the beginning of our new life together. Even though the years after that provided some major ups and downs, that late October day always struck me as _the_ wedding day for us. It was the day that I was finally able to really call you Mrs. Jack Snyder for the first time."

Jack shook his head as he tried to explain the way he was feeling inside. It was proving harder than he thought, but at Carly's hand tentatively coming to rest on his arm, he looked up to see that he had her full attention and it gave him the strength to go on.

"I don't know, Carly. I'd be lying if I said that part of me wasn't doing this because I am scared of losing you again or losing our family. I don't think I've ever been more frightened in my life than that day I heard the doctor tell me that you were in a place that I couldn't get to you."

Jack felt his chest begin to tighten and his voice caught, tears burning his eyes as he forced himself to remember that empty feeling in his soul.

"Your body was here, Carly, but…what makes you, inherently _you,_ wasn't. And I knew then, in that instant that if I was ever going to survive, not just live but _really _and_ truly_ survive, then I had to be where you were. When you woke up I swore that I would never let a day go by again without telling you how cherished you are and how much of my soul's happiness is wrapped up in you. And that means that I will do that here in Oakdale, out in L.A., or on the moon, Carly. _I_ go where _you_ go."

Carly's face went slack in surprise at his words and he nodded, giving her a hesitant smile.

"Yeah, you heard me. I talked to the kids and while Parker understandably wants to finish high school here, J.J. and Sage said that if you want to go to L.A., we'll go too. I think we finally got it through our thick heads all that you have had to give up for us to remain here in Oakdale, baby, and it's our turn to let you have your dreams. We all agreed that _our_ dream is to just be a family and that it doesn't matter where we are in the country to do that."

"Oh Jack," Carly murmured and Jack held up a hand.

"Hey, my five minutes aren't up yet." He said and she chuckled despite her tumultuous emotions.

"Carly, there's something else you need to know." Jack sighed and took her hands again and rubbed his thumbs over the backs of them soothingly. "If, after all of this, you still don't want to marry me, then it's okay."

Carly frowned and gave him a dubious look, which earned a chuckle from him.

"No, I'm serious." Jack said and smiled at her. "If you decide that you still need more time or that you are really happy with the way things are now, I will respect that. We will just take tonight and have one hell of a party with our family and friends. I just want you to know that, no matter what you decide, it won't change the way I feel about you. Ever."

At Carly's dumbstruck silence, Jack nodded his head towards the gift box on the bed.

"Um, I think now would be a good time to open your present." He said, releasing her hands and, almost as if on automatic pilot, Carly turned to do just that.

There was nothing on the card other than her name and while part of her wanted to just tear into the white box, her hands were shaking too badly to do anything but go slowly. Finally managing to get the ribbon off, she lifted the lid and gently unfolded the pale pink tissue paper covering it's contents.

A gasp escaped her mouth and Carly found herself blindly groping for the edge of the bed to sit down on before her legs gave out on her. With trembling fingers she reached out to touch the delicate cream colored lace and silk material that made up the gorgeous offering in front of her.

Lying in the box, the light reflecting off of the Swarovski crystals painting her face with tiny rainbows of color, was her wedding gown from the Starry Night Collection; the one she had never gathered up the courage to create.

"Jack…how…?" Was all she was able to get out before her voice completely shut down on her. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the dress; it was exactly how she had pictured it would look.

"I conspired with Molly to get your measurements from when you took them for _her_ wedding plans. Then I sent a copy of your sketch to Monique and she put her best seamstresses on it immediately, especially when I told her why I needed it and when. It finally got over-nighted on Wednesday." Jack said and when Carly' eyes finally met his, the look of total wonder and adoration in them made his heart beat faster.

"Monique also designed and sent some bridal party dresses, and even though you didn't create them, I really think you'll like them. Molly said they go perfectly and since she's the maid of honor…um, by the way, they already split up the bridal party assignments so you don't have to worry about that either." Jack said, beginning to ramble as Carly was still just looking at him with wide, tear filled, blue eyes and not saying a word.

"She's maid of honor while Lily and Mattie are bridesmaids. Sage is a junior bridesmaid, whatever that is, and the boys are going to be ushers. Holden's my best man, but Lee and Brad are going to be groomsman. And of course that's only if you agree to marry me, which I can understand if you say no, because it was kinda presumptuous to do all this without you and…"

"Yes."

He was still babbling on and for a minute she didn't think he had heard her, until Jack stopped mid-sentence and just stared into her face in shock.

"Did you…did you…just say yes?" He asked hesitantly and with the tears in her eyes finally spilling over, Carly nodded at him.

"Yes," Carly said, her voice catching in her throat as she gave a wide smile. "Jack Snyder, I would _love_ to marry you."

Jack didn't waste a moment before he leapt to his feet and lifted her off her own, spinning her slightly in a dizzying circle. They were both laughing and crying at the same and when he placed her back down, he immediately found her lips, pressing his own to them in a happy kiss.

Carly wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close to her, as she kissed him back just as passionately. Reluctantly, Jack pulled away and stared at her.

"What…what made you change your mind?"

"Oh, Jack, no man would go through all of this if he didn't really want to get married. I remember the panic in your eyes when we started planning our first wedding here. You would have rather chewed barbed wire but you did it because you loved me. And I know…I _know_ you love me now too."

"I never stopped. Never! No matter what I said or did, Carly." Jack said passionately and pressed his forehead to hers. "You are my heartbeat and always will be."

"And you are mine, G-man." Carly whispered, before kissing him gently. He kissed her back but then leaned back so that he could reach into his jacket pocket.

"I've been holding on to this for some time now." Jack said and properly got down on one knee. Holding it up he opened the ring box to display a nice sized diamond in a white gold setting with two smaller diamonds embedded in the band on either side. Without another word, Carly held out her left hand and Jack silently slipped the ring on her finger.

Carly's hand gripped his and gently tugged him to his feet, pulling him closer until she could bury her head into his chest. He held her close to his heart for a long minute but finally knew that he had to release her; they had some business to attend to.

"Well, now that the logistics are done, there are some people who are pretty anxious to see how it went."

Carly laughed and reached out to take the tissue that he was handing her, as he headed for the suite door. Carly half followed him and stood in the middle of the living room area as he opened the door.

Sure enough a small parade of people was huddled outside, including Lily with her two girls, Molly, Mattie, Emma, and, of course, Jack and Carly's children, minus Emmy. They all wore the same anxious and hopeful expression on their faces as they shifted restlessly. He motioned for them to enter and they did so silently, all eyes darting from Jack to Carly and back again.

Finally it was Parker who couldn't take it anymore and let out a huge huff of air.

"Well?" He asked and when Jack looked to Carly, everyone's stares followed. Carly just smiled and nodded, letting out a laugh when Sage literally jumped for joy.

"_Yes!_"

As Sage flung herself at her mother, both Parker and J.J. hugged Jack before enveloping Carly in their own bear hugs. The rest of them followed suit and soon the room was filled with loud and ecstatic voices.

"Okay," Jack said raising his voice above the happy dim and looked pointedly at his sons. "We have some last minute details to attend to and then get dressed ourselves, so we're gonna go now and leave you guys to get ready."

Parker and J.J. nodded, giving Carly one last hug each and exchanging a happy grin with Sage before heading out the door. Jack paused in the doorway and looked back to lock eyes with Carly.

"I'll see _you_ in a couple hours." Jack said, looking at Carly and she sent him an air kiss, as the feeling of a hundred butterflies swirled around in her stomach.

As soon as the door closed behind them, the women turned to Carly and began chattering away. Carly finally just burst out laughing at all their inquiries as to what Jack said and did to get her to say yes. Pulling Sage to her in another hug, she looked at the rest of them and just smiled.

"He was just simply…Jack. How could I say no to that?"

Her uncomplicated answer had them all smiling too and exchanging their own misty eyed glances with each other.

"Um, where's Emmy?" Carly said, toying with Sage's hair as she looked at Molly, who was the last person she had seen with her infant daughter.

"Jack hired a pair of babysitters for her, Robby, and Ethan for the night." Molly said, even as Emma was already ushering everyone towards the bedroom in full matriarch mode. "Do you remember Lauren and Allie from the NICU?"

Carly nodded with a smile. Of course she remembered them; they had been an essential part of the team that helped Emmy get well.

"Well, it seems that both girls offered babysitting services if ever needed and you know, Jack. Who better to take care of his precious daughter than a couple of registered pediatric nurses?" Molly said, rolling her eyes but grinning all the same.

"And before you ask, they have plenty of bottles and diapers. They are in a room here at the Lakeview, so if you _really_ get the urge, you can check on her at anytime…_after_ the ceremony." Lily added and Carly smiled at how well they all knew her.

"Molly brought that do-hickey thing with her too, Mommy." Sage said, making a face and Carly immediately knew she was referring to the breast pump machine.

"Thank you for announcing that to the entire room, Sage." Molly said, grimacing even though Carly covered up a laugh with her hand. "It's just so you can take care of business before you get into that dress, Cuz. Gotta make sure you'll be comfortable at your own wedding!"

"Oh my God, speaking of getting dressed! We've only got three hours here ladies!" Lily said, looking at the clock.

As soon as her words left her mouth, the room became controlled chaos. The bridal party gowns were removed from where they were hidden in the suite closet and Faith was sent to get the hair and makeup consultants from the spa that they had on standby.

Carly was the first to get her makeup done and as she sat letting the woman do her work, she was regaled by the different stories of how, exactly, Jack had roped them all into joining his elaborate scheme.

"We might as well go over the traditional bridal checklist now." Mattie said, watching as Carly sat in a chair by the dining room table, getting the last touch of her makeup finished before moving on to get her hair done. "Something new?"

"Mommy's dress is brand new and so are her shoes!" Sage pointed out, motioning to the pair of thin strappy cream colored heels lying by the sofa. She was hovering around where Molly was getting the last touches of her hair pinned up in a bunch of curls, trying to decide if she wanted the same hair-do.

Mattie pointed a finger at Sage and then made an invisible check mark in the air.

"Check! Something blue?"

"The garter that Monique sent is a very pale silvery blue. Does that count?" Lily asked, holding the delicate piece of lace up in the air. Unlike most garters this one was incredibly classy looking…well, as classy as a garter could get, anyway.

"I say yes." Faith piped up and they all looked at Carly, who shrugged her agreement. Today, blue was blue.

"Great!" Mattie continued, making another check mark in the air, and looked around. "Something old?"

There was silence and Mattie frowned.

"Uh, okay, how about something borrowed?"

Silence again and all the women exchanged looks before a throat being cleared caught their attention.

"I think I can take care of both of those at once." Emma said and walked over to a bag that no one noticed had been sitting by the door. Returning to Carly's side, she handed her a rather large jewelry box, its blue velvety surface worn down in several places. Carly opened it carefully and then, with wide eyes, looked back up at Emma in awe.

"These were my grandmother's earrings and necklace that were fashioned just for her by a jeweler in Chicago in 1909. They brought my mom good luck on her wedding day and when I wore them on my wedding day, they worked for me too." Emma said reaching out to lift the thin diamond necklace out of the box while Carly's fingers trailed over the small, delicate antique diamond drop earrings that still lay inside. As she clasped the necklace around Carly's neck, Emma paused and placed her hands on the younger woman's shoulders.

"The strength and love of many women are infused in this jewelry and I know they will bless you and Jack today."

Carly didn't have any words, only mouthed 'thank you' before being enveloped tightly in Emma's warm embrace.

A moment later, Emma pulled away, wiping at her eyes and fussing that she was going to go check on how Meg was doing with guiding the florists around. In reality they knew that she needed to leave before the strong Snyder matriarch completely lost her cool.

The woman from the spa knew what she was doing and soon, Carly's hair was styled perfectly in an elegant forties-style figure eight twist that lay at the base of her neck with a swoop of bang laying to the left side of her face. Even though Carly initially protested that she was too old to wear a headpiece, all of her arguments had flown out the window the moment the stylist had placed the slender band of sparkling Swarovski crystals atop her head. The intricate design looked almost like a tiny vine of diamonds weaving itself around the headband. The most amazing part was that, somehow, Emma's jewelry magically looked as if it was made specifically to go with her dress and hairstyle.

As Carly helped Sage decide how she wanted to wear her hair, she noticed Molly and Lily whispering off to the side.

"Okay, what are you two planning now?" Carly asked and both women swung their eyes to look Carly with mock innocent faces.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Molly said, blinking at her while trying desperately to hide a smile. Carly looked to Lily who turned to Molly but before either one could profess their innocence again, a knock sounded on the door to the suite.

"Mom?" Parker's voice sounded and Lily smiled in relief.

"Saved by the teenager." She said and hurried to the door to go let him in.

Carly gave Molly and Lily a look but turned her attention back to Sage as the girl giddily showed off how her long hair was being magically transformed into corkscrew curls.

"I swear, Sage. You look more and more like your mom everyday. I guess good looks run in the family."

Carly slowly straightened up at the voice and turned just as slowly to stare at the person standing just inside the doorway to the suite.

"Gwen?" She whispered, not trusting her voice to speak any louder than that.

Her youngest sister stood there grinning back at her, dressed in a knee length black sequined cocktail dress with her blonde locks laying in long natural waves that looked so similar to Carly's own natural hair.

"Hey Sis! Heard rumor that you were getting married so I figured I'd stop by."

Gwen barely got the sentence out before she found herself being wrapped in Carly's tight hold. She struggled to try and speak again but the thickness of joyous tears in her throat prevented her and in the end Gwen just hugged Carly back without a word.

Parker's job, to divert any suspicion by walking Gwen to the door and knocking, was officially done and after waving a quick hello to Mattie, he promptly disappeared again to go finish getting ready too.

"Oh, God, I missed you so much!" Carly finally managed to get out, sniffling as she pulled back to place both hands on either side of Gwen's face.

"I missed you too!" Gwen said and then trying to stop the flow of tears before her big sister completely ruined her makeup she grinned. "Hey, no more crying okay? Can't go around looking like a raccoon on your wedding day!"

"Yeah, don't ruin Sophia's hard work!" Molly said, swapping a smile with the makeup artist who was already getting out the same products she used on Carly before in order to repair the damage.

Carly laughed before whirling around to face her cousin and by the possessive arm around Gwen's waist, it was obvious she wasn't going to let go for a few more minutes at least.

"Well then, don't spring surprises like this on me _after _I get my makeup done!" Carly exclaimed and they all laughed. Carly squeezed Gwen quickly and gave a small frown. "Hey, where's that beautiful niece of mine?"

"Are you kidding?" Gwen rolled her eyes. "The second Barbara got wind that we were in town, she offered to take Hallie for the night over at Fairwinds. Since she's going to take care of Eliza for Paul and Meg tonight too, I figured why not. Hallie's pretty easy going and she knows Barbara from her visits."

"Oh," Carly said with more than a twinge of disappointment in her voice that Gwen immediately picked up on.

"Don't worry, you'll have plenty of time to visit with her and spoil her rotten soon, just like I intend to do to my nieces and nephews. Will and I managed to convince our professors to let us end classes early and so when we come for Thanksgiving we're going to stay through until the new semester starts in January." Gwen said and Carly's smile reappeared instantly.

"Oh Gwen, that's fantastic!" Carly said and hugged her again.

"Okay, okay! Enough of this!" Gwen said laughing and gently wiggled out of Carly's embrace. "I wanna see these dresses that I've heard so much about!"

As the rest of the bridal party took turns getting ready, Carly showed off her gown and the other dresses. Exactly as Jack had described, they matched the idea Carly had been going for completely when she designed the Starry Night wedding gown.

The bridesmaid dresses were floor length, A-line fashion done in a pale gold and a faux corset looking bodice, that gave the appearance of being a separate piece from the bottom of the dress but really wasn't. At the waist-line there was a thin, deep cream, colored ribbon that came together at the small of the back where the concealed zipper ended. The ribbon then trailed down the back of the dress to end up stopping at the bottom of a small train. They had a strapless neckline and the bodice contained the same small star-like patterned bursts of Swarovski crystal that decorated the lace overlay of Carly's dress. Sage's junior bridesmaid's gown was almost identical except that it had half-inch spaghetti straps and instead of being floor length, it fell gently to just hit her shins.

Sooner than anyone realized it was five-thirty, the bridal party was all dressed and the only thing left to do was get Carly into her own dress.

Even though Carly had just used the "do-hickey" as Sage had called it earlier, the round swell of Carly's breasts peeked over the top of her strapless gown as Lily buttoned it up. Carly stared into the mirror nervously while Molly, Mattie, and Sage fussed around her, smoothing the foot long train around her feet. Molly stood and catching sight of Carly's apprehensive face she rested a hand on the bride's bare shoulder.

"You look beautiful, Cuz." She said and pointed out that all it did was emphasize how small Carly's waist was even only a few months after giving birth. Molly shook her head again and sighed. "So not fair."

This statement did the trick and Carly let out a laugh, all her anxiety slipping away for the moment. It was doubly abated when Sage promptly proclaimed her mom to look like a princess and the entire room agreed wholeheartedly.

"Carly?"

She turned to see Natalie holding out her bouquet with a shy smile.

"Thank you, Sweetie." Carly said, offering her a wide smile.

Natalie Snyder was often much quieter than her siblings or cousins, but Carly had a soft spot for the young girl who was like a sister to Sage. Natalie grinned back before bouncing off to help Faith distribute the rest of the bouquets.

They were all made up of cream and pale pink colored roses with sprigs of what looked to be thin gold branches interspaced here and there. The stems were wrapped up tightly with thick gold ribbon so that they fit comfortably in the carrier's hands. The only difference in Carly's bouquet, other than the larger size, was that adhered to the thin gold branches, every so often, were crystals that winked in the light.

"Okay, we're going to head down and tell the guys we're ready to start." Lily said and after a round of quick hugs, Carly was left up in the room with nothing but her thoughts.

Carly dropped her nose to the flowers, inhaling their delicate scent, and sighing when she felt the butterflies from earlier return suddenly. She closed her eyes and lifting her head, tipped it back so that her upturned face was pointed at the sky.

"I just wanted…" Carly started to whisper and then sighed, before muttering the only words that summed up what she was feeling in that moment. "Thank you."

At a knock on the door, Carly's eyes shot open and the brief, irrational thought of whether or not God had actually sent down a "you're welcome" crossed her mind. The sound of key card being swiped and the sight of her younger son's head poking in the door, caused her to smile and let out the breath she had been holding.

"Well, hello." She said and J.J. stepped into the room, followed immediately by Parker. She took in their well cut, new, black suits with cream rose boutonnièresand grinned wider. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Well...we…wow, Mom, you look…wow." J.J. said, his eyes blinking at the sight of his mom before him. If he didn't know any better, he could have sworn that she was actually glowing from the inside out.

Carly laughed softly and even though Parker agreed with the statement J.J. had just made, he knew that they had come up for a reason.

"We came here to get you." Parker said, nudging his brother. He then stepped forward and shuffled awkwardly with his hands in his pants pockets. "We…we want to walk you down the aisle, if that's cool with you."

Carly's eyes misted over and she pressed a hand to her mouth. "Oh!"

"Oh God, no tears! No tears!" Parker said, slightly panicking. Carly let out a watery laugh and then nodded.

"I would love it if my two boys walked me down the aisle."

"Great!" J.J. said, grinning. "So, should we get this show on the road?"

Parker glared at his younger brother and rolled his eyes. "What I think J.J. _meant_ to say is, are you ready, Mom?"

"Oh yes," Carly breathed looping arms with her sons and beaming down at them as they simultaneously led her out of the room. "I am, most definitely, ready."


	70. To Dream Of A Wedding Like This

**Author's Note: I dedicate this chapter to all the ATWT fans who are still able to tolerate what is being displayed on their television sets. I have officially become one who cannot. I'm done; done with the writing, done with the pimping of characters that have no basis for being a so called "lead", done with the bringing in newbies via revolving door while ignoring veteran actors who are the faces we fans know and love, done with producers and head writers ignoring huge fanbases just because they think the viewers will stick around anyway even though the declining rating prove otherwise, and I'm so very very _very_ done with the horrible treatment that Maura West and Michael Park are getting. This story became my outlet for my frustrations with the show back in Novemeber when I started it and a full seven (SEVEN) months later, I'm more horrified than the day I first posted.**

***deep breath***

**Sorry for my rant, it just literally hurts my heart to know what could be and what actually is for our beloved duo and the show I used to run home to watch. Here's hoping that we see something like this next chapter before it's too late to make a difference. All my love...enjoy!  
~JP  
**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance, a church filled with family and friends. I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for; he said one that would make me his wife."  
~Unknown  
_************************************************************************************************************************************************

When Jack shifted in front of the makeshift altar, in the transformed conference room designated for the ceremony, for the fifth time, Holden finally couldn't take it anymore. Placing a calming hand on his cousin's shoulder, he sighed and leaned forward.

"Relax, dude, it's almost time." Holden whispered and Jack tossed him a look that was a mixture of excitement and, what was probably, a bit of nausea.

It wasn't that Jack nervous about marrying Carly again; he was actually positive that he had never seen so sure of anything in his whole life. But planning a secret wedding in barely three weeks time, for a woman who he hadn't even been sure would say yes, had created _a little bit _of anxiety as one could imagine. And now, all that pent up apprehension was threatening to spill out causing Jack to adjust the collar of his police officer dress blues, before fretfully moving on to straighten the pair of white gloves at his shoulder.

Holden sighed again and looked towards Lee and Brad, who were standing nearby talking, for some help. The two men also noticed Jack fidgeting and this time it was Lee who rolled his eyes and leaned in.

"I swear, mate, if you don't stand still I'm going to ask one of the fifteen other police officers in this room for a pair of handcuffs and chain you to a chair!"

"Whoa, let's not get kinky before the wedding night. That's Carly's job!" Brad said and at Jack's glare he held up his hands in a request for forgiveness. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry! Bad joke!"

Jack's eyes couldn't help but dart to his right following Brad's statement to where, a few feet away, Reverend Luke Jamison was getting his things in order at the podium.

He was a personal friend of the Snyder family, having not only having performed Eliza's christening, but also Robby and Emmy's joint one a few weeks after Carly and Emmy had come home from the hospital.

A stocky man in his late sixties, he had a quick smile and easy manner that suited his calling perfectly. When Jack had approached him and asked him to do this ceremony two weeks ago it had been during his office hours at the little church on Woodrow Street. Reverend Jamison had sat in complete silence for about a minute before inviting Jack back to his home to discuss the matter. As Mrs. Jamison had bustled around their small homey kitchen, preparing tea and blatantly eavesdropping, Jack described the situation and the manner in which the last minute wedding had come about. At the end of his story it was Mrs. Jamison, with romance novel stars in her eyes, who had agreed on her husband's behalf before the poor clergyman had even gotten a chance to open his mouth.

As Jack's eyes roamed around the pretty full room at all the people, dressed in their finest eveningwear, he was happy that the Reverend and his wife weren't the only ones who had accepted the surprise wedding invitations on such short notice.

Bob and Kim Hughes were in full conversation with John Dixon about some sort of hospital matter. Therefore it was no surprise that Dr. Adams, Dr. Maynard, Helen Hudson, and Dr. Schiller were involved in the discussion as well, as their respective spouses talked amongst themselves. It was more than obvious that they were all used to being excluded from the "shop-talk".

Abigail, who had just barely caught a flight in from California in time due to a crisis with one of her social work cases, was introducing Brayden to Emma. The Snyder matriarch, in true Emma fashion, gave Brayden a warm smile before immediately hitting the poor boy with a very intense round of twenty questions.

Paul, Tom Hughes, Will Munson, and Derek Coburn were having such a deep and heated discussion that it could only be about some type of sport, most likely football.

A few chairs away Margo sat chatting with Dallas and the aforementioned fellow police offers, also in their dress blues, while Jessica Griffin chimed in now and then to argue whatever it was they were discussing from the judicial point of view. Yet, however into the topic she appeared to be, Jessica also kept a tight grip on the hand of her husband, Dr. Ben Harris, who had just returned from an absurdly long medical sabbatical studying new neurosurgery techniques in Paris. Ben looked content to just be there, among friends and family again, as he charmingly held his own conversation with the husband and wives of the preoccupied officers.

Situated on the other side of her step-father, Jessica's daughter, Bonnie McKechnie, was just as animatedly talking about some upcoming party at Metro to Henry and four of Carly's closer employees. Henry had, in fact, had brought Jess, the hostess from the club, claiming that Vienna had a horrible "headache" and couldn't make it. His fiancee's medical status didn't really seem to bother Henry very much, however, as he happily waved across the aisle in the direction of Katie, Gwen, and Meg who were, undoubtedly, talking about their children.

Lucinda Walsh and Lisa Grimaldi stood in the back of the room by the guestbook, talking low, as they kept a watchful eye on Faith and Natalie. The two girls were scurrying around the room making sure the little details, such as the flowers, the candles, and the aisle runner, looked perfect while also occasionally asking people to please take a seat.

At the sound of a loud whisper calling his name, Jack was brought back from his observations and looked towards the doors where he saw Molly's head peeking in. She flashed him a smile and a thumbs up before disappearing again just as fast.

"Okay, let's get this show on the road." Brad exclaimed having seen Molly's signal as well, unknowingly saying the same thing his nephew had said only moments ago and several floors up.

When Holden, Brad, and Lee were lined up in order behind him, Jack gave Reverend Jamison a nod who, in turn, nodded to the corner where his wife stood by the sound system.

The soft melodic strings of a classical song floated out into the room and the doors in the back opened up to let the processional enter.

Mattie moved smoothly down the aisle first, followed by Lily and then Molly. Sage came next, the smile on her face so wide that it looked like it might actually hurt the young girl. When she reached her place at the end of the small bridal party line at the front of the altar the music subtly changed and swelled with Pachbel's _Canon in 'D'_ surrounding everyone as they rose to their feet.

Carly appeared in the doorway, bordered on either side by Parker and J.J., with her bouquet held primly at her waistline. Her blue eyes widened slightly at the sight of so many people in the room, but then her gaze landed on Jack and there was no one else in the room but them.

She honestly didn't realize that she had walked the entire way down the aisle until she suddenly found herself directly across from Jack. She accepted small kisses on her cheeks from their sons as they quietly, yet firmly, answered the reverend's question as to who gave her away today.

Carly's eyes roamed over him, soaking up the image of him in his dress blues, freshly groomed, and with the same idiotic happy grin that she knew was on her face as well.

'Hi,' she mouthed to him, but all he could do was smile and blink back at her.

He would have attempted to say hello back except Jack was pretty sure that he had stopped breathing entirely, the moment that he had spotted her gliding down the aisle towards him looking like something sent straight from heaven.

"Please be seated." Reverend Jamison said and as soon as the soft rustle of cloth dissipated he began.

"Carly and Jack, your lives have been joined together for many years now, whether through the bonds of marriage or not. You have learned much; you have loved much. You are two separate people and yet, you are one. Your hearts and minds are more deeply connected now than you could have ever imagined they would be all those years ago when you first met. You know one another – as friends, as lovers, as parents, as adversaries, and as comrades. You can finish each other's sentences and anticipate each other's wants or needs."

Reverend Jamison looked up at the two of them and smiled then glanced out over the audience, who were listening with rapt attention.

"It is a privilege and honor that you have allowed us to witness this re-birth of your relationship and as you renew your vows, I urge you to recall the things that have been present during its times of success; the self-giving, the patience, the making of space, the forgiveness, the encouragement, the prayer, the telling of the truth in love, and the willingness to accept and trust one another and to give thanks to God for how he has blessed you. If you would, please, join hands."

Carly turned slightly and allowed Molly to take her bouquet. Their similar blue eyes met and a silent expression of mutual adoration was exchanged, before Carly turned back her full attention to Jack. Their hands connected to entwine themselves as Rev. Jamison began speaking again.

"Today, Jack and Carly, you take a significant step in your relationship by declaring once more, in spite of difficulties and hardships of life, that with God's help, you will continue to love and be faithful to one another. You again commit yourselves to a love for one another that involves the total giving of yourselves. Do you promise to accept each other entirely, creating a safe and loving space for each other to grow as individuals and partners, as well as creating that same space for your children and family? If so, please answer 'we do'."

"We do." Carly and Jack repeated together and Reverend Jamison clasped his hands in front of him.

"Now comes the exchanging of your own personal vows to each other. Who wants to go first?" The minister looked with kind, twinkling eyes between the two of them. "Carly? Jack?"

"Oh, um, I didn't prepare anything." Carly said, her eyes widening in momentary panic but Jack just smiled.

"We didn't prepare anything any of the other times we got married. Why mess with tradition?" He said and she relaxed instantly, laughing softly along with the rest of the audience. "How about I go first?"

At Carly's grateful nod, Jack sighed and became thoughtful.

"Some people say that things happen for a reason. So, I guess, they would say that you and I happened for a reason. But…I don't believe that. I think it's much simpler when it comes to you and me. Basically, you _are_ the reason, Carly. The reason that my world turns every day and why I know I can accomplish just about anything, as long as you are by my side. Yes, we will have ups and downs, good days and bad days, just like any other married couple. And, granted, people will have doubts about us as they have always done. Heck, as much as they are here to support us, people in this room right now have doubts about what we're doing tonight. But _I_, Carly, am not one of them and I never will be again. Because what I am doing right now as I stand here, holding your hands to take you as my wife again, is the only thing that is real to me. The only thing that matters is us…you and me together with the rest of our beautifully crazy family. And I finally understand now, after being pretty much conked on the head with it over the years, that it has _always _been the only thing that mattered."

Carly didn't even have to reach for Jack's handkerchief as he was already waving it in her direction as she sniffled across from him. Taking it, she looked up into his knowing and slightly smug gaze and rolled her eyes.

"Wise-ass." She muttered before shooting an apologetic look at the minister. The man grimaced slightly but for his part he just gave a small smile and nodded at Carly.

"Hmm, your turn, my dear."

Carly nodded back and took a deep sigh like Jack had before speaking.

"You, Jack, have given me four of the most precious gifts anyone could ever receive and I'm not talking about the ones you think I am. Although I thank God, and you, for our children every day of my life, I am talking about the gifts that I never really had before I knew you. The gift of a real family; the gift of a home; the gift of true happiness and acceptance; and the gift of receiving the missing piece of my soul that I know I would have never been complete without. Um...the third times the charm, right? Isn't that another one of those things people say? I don't know how, or why, but something inside of me tells me that this time we finally got it right. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that the other times weren't special or didn't mean as much because they did, Jack. I meant every word I said to you on those days and I _still_ mean them. But if the past year has taught me anything, it's that our lives are a sum total of all of our experiences. One moment cannot change destiny and we _were_ destined to be together, Jack. Today, tomorrow, and for the rest of our lives."

When she finished, Jack and Carly went towards each other to kiss but the minister leaned forward also and cleared his throat just before their lips met. They looked at him and he gave them a dry smile, shaking his head.

"_Not_…_yet_." Reverend Jamison said and everyone chuckled, as Carly and Jack stood straight up again, smiling sheepishly.

"Now, at this time, I believe that Jack and Carly's children have something they would like to recite." The minister said and waved his hand over at them.

Parker and J.J. stepped forward to the stand as did Sage, after handing her flowers to Mattie to hold. Carly looked at Jack but he shook his head at her, just as surprised as she was.

"Um, if you couldn't tell by the looks on our parent's faces, they didn't know we were going to do this. Although, technically, Mom didn't know about _any_ of this so I guess this isn't really that much more of a surprise." Parker started and the room was once more filled with soft laughter. He cleared his throat and spoke again. "We were looking online the other day and found something that we felt was a great guideline for our parents to hear today, in order to help start our family off right. It's a poem by Wilfred Peterson."

At this point Parker let Sage take his place and she bent the microphone to accommodate her height before speaking.

"The little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say, 'I love you' at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all the years."

Sage finished and quietly stepped back as J.J. slid in where she had just stood.

"It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy."

J.J. paused a moment and looked directly at his parents before bending his head and movingly reading the next paragraph.

"It is speaking words of appreciation, and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have the wings of an angel. It is not looking for perfection in each other."

Parker placed a hand on J.J.'s shoulder and sighed inaudibly before taking his younger brother's place to finish.

"It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding, and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding room for the things of the Spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual, and the obligation is reciprocal."

Parker lifted his eyes from the paper before him and spoke the last words from memory, never breaking eye contact with Carly and Jack.

"It is not only marrying the right partner, it is _being_ the right partner. This is 'The Art of Marriage'."

As soon as Parker concluded the poem, all three children stepped away from the podium and directly into the arms of their parents, who were both barely keeping back tears. They all held tightly together for a long moment before J.J. wiggled out and pointed towards Rev. Jamison.

"Uh, I don't think he's done yet." J.J. said and accompanied by more laughter, the kids retreated to their previous positions to watch the end of the ceremony.

"We're _almost_ done." Reverend Jamison said, smiling over at J.J., who ducked his head but grinned at his feet.

Turning his attention to Holden and Molly, Reverend Jamison nodded for them to hand him the rings. Once they were placed on the bible in his hands he said a quick prayer and then held them out towards Jack and Carly.

"Upon exchanging these rings, you will pledge to take each other in marriage again; to laugh with each other in joy, to grieve with each other in sorrow, to grow old with in love, and to go together wherever life may take you after this day. Jack, you will go first."

Jack respectfully took the ring from the open bible pages and held it to the tip of Carly's finger, his eyes locking with hers as he repeated the next words from Reverend Jamison.

"I, Jack, give you, Carly, this ring as a symbol of our continuing love and the renewal of our life together, that we vow on this day."

Sliding it on, the thin band of diamonds matched her new engagement ring perfectly, making Carly smile. Taking the other ring off of the bible, Carly held it close to Jack's outstretched hand.

"I, Carly, give you, Jack, this ring as a symbol of our continuing love and the renewal of our life together, that we vow on this day."

Jack's ring slid on like it was meant to be there from the beginning of time and, who knows...maybe it had.

Reverend Jamison came around to stand in front of the podium to place his hands over Jack and Carly's combined ones, holding them firmly in his grasp.

"Before God and this company, Carly and Jack have committed to each other and their family, by the saying of vows and exchanging of rings. Therefore, I declare, by the power vested in me by the Lord, and the blessed state of Illinois, that they are now husband and wife…again."

He stepped back and grinned at them, letting go of their hands and motioning between them.

"_Now_, you may kiss the bride!"

They didn't need to be told twice as Jack immediately gathered Carly to him at the same time that she threw her arms around his neck, their lips coming together in a zealous kiss. Thirty seconds later cat-calls and whoops of delight surrounded them, effectively bringing them back to reality after what seemed like not nearly enough time in their special moment.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Jack Snyder!" Reverend Jamison said and as Parker, J.J., and Sage rushed to hug them he laughingly added, "And family!"

When they all moved through the congratulating crowd and out into the hallway, the wedding party and its guests found themselves being pointed in the direction down the hallway to the smaller of the Lakeview's two ballrooms. The group meandered down the hall, the bridal party occasionally waving back and accepting congratulatory comments from people passing by.

Carly paused a moment, slipping off to the side of the hallway with Jack in tow, and tugged on his lapel in order to bring his mouth down to hers. The two kissed gently, murmuring endearments against each other's lips before hearing their names being called loudly.

"Hey, Cuz, no lolly-gagging behind." Molly said as she and Lee walked by. An overly ecstatic and giggly Sage waved in their direction from where she was being carried under Lee's left arm in a football hold.

Molly laughed as Lee threw his other arm around his fiancée's shoulders and guided her towards the doors where the rest of their party was vanishing into.

She turned her head and called back, "This is only the beginning!"

"You know what?" Jack said and watching them disappear into the ballroom, he slipped his own arm around his new wife's waist. As Carly beamed up at him in sheer happiness, he leaned down to rub his nose against hers before they followed everyone else's example. "I couldn't have said it better myself."


	71. Marry The One You Can't Live Without

**Author's Note: Seeing as how it's my birthday today, I'm feeling very happy and generous. I'm a few reviews shy of my goal but you all will fix that next time _right_? (hint hint) LOL. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter...it is near and dear to my heart since it was written with love songs playing continuously and driving my family up a wall. :)**

**Plus, to further celebrate, there is a new mvid that kind of goes with this chapter on my motionbox account (stupid copyright on YouTube *grumbles*). After motionbox dot com, just put the following: ****/videos/7a9cd0ba1f1fe7c7f5**

**Please go view and let me know what you think!  
As always...ENJOY...everything!  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_You don't marry someone you can live with, you marry the person who you cannot live without."  
~Unknown  
_************************************************************************************************************************************************

When Jack led her into the ballroom, Carly paused just inside in order to look around in amazement.

Tall, seven foot high, arrangements of what looked to be gold painted branches with pale cream and pink roses interwoven among the sprigs were placed intermittently around the room. Elegantly designed trellises made up in the same design but accompanied with classic white decorative lights, were arched over the cocktail buffet table, the two open bar areas, and the entrance to the room. The centerpieces looked like the bridal bouquets, only they were placed in frosted glass vases with soft glowing waterproof LED lights amongst the stems.

Since the smaller ballroom was made to accommodate between 150 and 200 people, their little group of 75 was slightly less than the norm. However, the tables were placed in a manner that used the extra space well, yet they weren't too far apart from each other that conversation would be a burden. Over all, the effect of the room was like walking into their own secluded section of an enchanted forest.

The extra space in the front of the room was transformed into a large dance floor, with a DJ set up off to the side, who was already playing a few well known pop songs from the last couple of years.

"The DJ is a friend of Luke and Noah's." Lily said, coming up to loop her arm with Carly's. "Who, by the way, are _so_ upset that they couldn't make it tonight. But Noah got invited to this last minute major film festival in Chicago where he could meet some top film school scouts and Luke wanted to go support him. Trust me, a party or a film festival...it was a very tough decision."

"Oh, that's okay. I'm really glad that they were even debating missing it for this!" Carly said, squeezing her friend's arm to show that she was fine.

"They still chipped in and bought you guys a gift though!" Lily said, pointing to a small table near the cocktail buffet and left side bar. Surprisingly there were several gifts and more than a few envelopes peeking out of a small white gift basket.

"Lily, I said no presents." Jack said, frowning uneasily in the direction to which she had pointed.

"Too late, Jack." Lily said and shrugged casually. "Anyway, I think they got you one of those new Keuring coffee makers. You might as well keep it now."

"Yeah, Jack." Carly chimed in, grinning at her husband with mischievousness gleaming in her blue gaze. "We might as well keep it now."

Jack just rolled his eyes when Carly and Lily exchanged conspiratorial smiles. Somehow he didn't think poor Luke and Noah had come up with the idea themselves. He seemed to recall a conversation where Carly had mentioned getting one of those machines and he also knew that Lily wanted to talk Holden into getting one too. Now, with this "wedding gift", it was one husband down and one to go.

The professional photographer, Dean Barkley, who had been taking pictures unobtrusively during the ceremony and beginning of the reception, now took a moment to introduce himself. He then made preparations to have them meet the bridal party in the hallway for a few quick select shots. The vibrant man, who they all took an instant liking to, had taken the initiative to set up a simple backdrop of a wooden and wrought iron park bench and two of the 7ft arrangements on either side to border the frame. Dean was true to his word and not more than fifteen minutes later he had quickly and efficiently gotten off at least thirty to forty posed pictures. He had made the whole process so easy and fun that Carly and Jack already knew they were going to have trouble picking their favorite shots.

The small group made their way back inside the room, talking amongst themselves about which pose they thought would turn out best. Their mini pow-wow was interrupted by the small squeak of a microphone and all eyes turned to the young man at the DJ table.

"Hello, everyone, my name is Eric and I'm honored to be your DJ for this evening. If you have any special requests, please don't hesitate to ask and I'll try and make them happen. To get the night started right, I'd like to invite our wonderful newlywed couple out onto the floor for their first dance. If you would all, please, give it up for Mr. and Mrs. Jack and Carly Snyder."

Over the din of applause, Carly heard the first strains of the song start up and felt Jack's hand slide into hers. Bringing their interlaced fingers up to his lips he pressed a quick kiss to her knuckles, just above her new rings, and then led her out onto the dance floor.

Seeing as she had no hand in any part of planning this impromptu wedding, she had to admit that she had been curious about the song that Jack had chosen for their first dance. But as Michael Bublé's vocals flowed over her, along with the soft jazz melody, she found herself smiling up at her renewed husband with watery eyes.

Jack just knowingly bent his head to kiss the tip of her nose before gracefully spinning her out away from him. Surprised by the sudden movement, Carly released a short tear-filled laugh and when he pulled her back in, she happily let herself be wrapped in his embrace. Jack placed held her tightly to him with one hand on the small of her back while the other clutched their still joined hands against his chest. Carly looked up into Jack's face again and saw his lips moving as he sang the song softly to her and her alone.

"In my mind we can conquer the world, in love, you and I; you and I; _you and I_."

The emotion in his expression as he sang the loving words to her caused tears to slide down her cheeks and, in an uncharacteristic display of shyness, Carly tucked her head under Jack's chin. While they were no Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, as Jack led them enchantingly around the dance floor with Carly matching him step for step, they created a stunning display of love in motion.

They finished the dance, moving to the last notes of the song with their eyes closed and his lips pressed to her hair while she listened to the familiar rhythm of his heartbeat against her ear. Carly and Jack only realized the song was over when clapping sounded out again and they both opened their eyes to look around the room at their wedding guests. Many of them, specifically Emma, Lily, and Molly, were openly crying but there was a surprising amount of other who seemed to barely be holding their emotions together. Carly blushed and Jack chuckled, sweeping a hand out over the floor.

"Okay, show's over. Time for everyone else to be on display."

Quiet laughter sounded throughout the ballroom and those who decided to dance moved to pair off, while others drifted back towards the cocktail buffet and open bars.

Carly was surprised to see J.J. ask Mattie to dance while Parker unexpectedly started in their direction.

"Hey, Dad, mind if I cut in?" Parker said, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his suit pants; his familiar nervous gesture.

"No problem." Jack replied, grinning at his oldest son and patted him on the shoulder. When Parker moved to take his father's place in front of Carly, Jack looked around the room. "Maybe I'll go see if my daughter wants to dance with her old man."

"Which one?" Carly said teasingly as she placed her one hand on Parker's shoulder and let her son take the lead.

"Um, the one who can walk and talk and isn't costing me an arm and a leg in babysitting fees right now." Jack joked back and with a wink, went on his way.

"So, to what do I owe this pleasure?" Carly asked, leaning back somewhat and raising an eyebrow at Parker.

"I dunno. Maybe I just wanted to make sure I wasn't grounded until I went off to college for helping Dad do all this." Parker said shrugging, giving her that lazy grin that had been getting him out of trouble since he was a toddler.

"Hmm, well…we'll see about that." Carly smirked, but her smirk soon disappeared as she took in the full image of her grown-up son.

Dressed in his brand new tuxedo suit with his hair neatly groomed, along with the fact that, even with her in heels, he was still a foot taller than her caused Carly to feel a lump in her throat.

"You look mighty handsome, you know that?"

"Thanks, Mom." Parker said and blushed at the compliment.

For some reason that innocent and ageless reaction only caused the lump to get bigger, forcing Carly to look away in a vain effort to try and control her emotions.

"You look really, really, beautiful, you know?" He told her and Carly laughed quietly.

"You don't have to suck up. You're not grounded." She joked and although Parker smiled back he shook his head, his eyes searching her face.

"No, I mean it, Mom. I've never seen you like this. You look…" He said and tilted his head to study her, as if trying to figure out exactly what it was that was different. After a moment he just smiled and shrugged again. "…happy."

"I am, Baby. I really am." Carly said and placing a hand on her son's cheek she stared just as intently into his face as he had done to her a moment ago. "Are you?"

"Yeah, Mom. I'm very happy." Parker said, nodding and giving her another smile.

"Parker, for every single one of my mistakes and all of the stupid things I've done, that is all I've ever really wanted; for you, your brother, and your sisters." Carly said earnestly. "To be happy."

Even though Parker couldn't overlook everything that she had done in her life there had been a defining moment, when he had almost really lost her this time around, that had made him realize something.

His mother, while she was flawed in many ways, loved him and his sibling with something so fierce that he knew he would never be able to fully comprehend it. And, more than people would like to give her credit for, she _had_ changed through her trials and tribulations and she grown into someone that Parker was damn proud to have in his life. He was even prouder to be able to call her "Mom".

"We know." Parker said and then more softly, but just as sincerely he added, "_I_ know."

In that one moment, something that had been off kilter between mother and son for a very long time, shifted and righted itself. No words could have expressed what they were both feeling inside and so when she just hugged Parker, his echoing answer was in the fact that he was holding on to her as tightly as she was to him. Closing her eyes, she sent up a silent thank you to whoever it was that invented waterproof mascara. She was sure getting her money's worth out of the product tonight.

"Okay," Carly said as she felt Parker reach his breaking point in comfort level at the overt display of emotion and pulled back. "I know the mini eggrolls are calling your name. You're free."

Parker grinned at her and after kissing her cheek, he promptly headed in the direction of the cocktail buffet.

The music changed to a faster paced song and in an instant, Molly had latched onto her hand and was pulling her farther out onto the dance floor and just like that, the party was in full swing. In truth, after that, the night moved rather quickly.

Dinner was delicious and Carly tipped her fork to Emma for her choices, who just nodded and grinned back. The DJ was more than competent, playing a mixture of classic party songs and some new stuff, edited for content of course. The adults even found themselves doing a couple of fun line dances to songs like _The Cha-Cha Slide _and a new one that had everyone laughing as they participated, called _The Cupid Shuffle_.

Shortly after that song, Carly and Jack knew by the way the kids were eying the large three-tiered marble cake with thick butter cream frosting that if they didn't cut it soon, there would be finger streaks marring the perfect decorative roses tumbling down the left side. Although they both eyed each other warily when they held the cake slices near each other's mouths, the exchange was friendly with no cake being shoved in either direction. It turned secretly seductive when Carly purposefully sucked a bit of icing off of Jack's thumb when no one was looking and the consquent look he had given her had sent shivers up and down her spine.

It was a little after ten when Jack noticed that his wife and a few other key persons had been missing from the party for a good half an hour at least. However, he had a sneaking suspicion as to where they had gone and wasn't worried in the least.

Instead, Jack's attention was drawn to his oldest son who was hovering, by himself, at a small table by the ballroom doors. On the table burned a thick white candle surrounded by rose petals; a symbol of remembrance for those who weren't able celebrate this night with them in the physical sense.

"Hey, Buddy." Jack said, coming up to place a hand on Parker's shoulder.

The startled teen jumped and then looked up at him, shifting uncomfortably.

"Oh, hey, Dad. I was just...thinking about Aunt Rosanna. She would have been really happy to be here today." Parker said and Jack nodded.

"Yeah, she would have." Jack said and then added, "Your Dad would have been too."

Parker stared at Jack with wide eyes and when he glanced away, Jack sighed and frowned.

"Parker, it's okay to miss your dad."

"I just don't…I don't want you to…" Parker started to say and Jack could read the conflicting emotions on the boy's face.

Reaching out to cup a hand behind Parker's neck, Jack made sure that the teen was staring him directly in the eyes before he spoke.

"Your dad was my best friend and he loved you so much, Parker. I am honored to share the title of being your dad with the memory of someone like Hal Munson. Don't _ever_ think that you are going to hurt my feelings by talking about him or the fact that you miss having him in your life. Because you know what? Your mom and I…we miss him too."

Parker blinked tears back and then willingly allowed Jack to pull him closer in a hug. After a long moment, he clapped a hand on Jack's back in the "guy sign" that he was done with the hug and Jack let him go. Catching something out of the corner of his eye, Jack smiled at the sight of Mattie lingering next to a nearby dinner table just in case she was needed.

"I think someone else is waiting to make sure that you're okay." Jack said, nodding his head subtly in the young girl's direction. Parker gave him a knowing smile and then walked over to Mattie.

Jack watched as Parker placed an arm around Mattie's waist and, resting his chin on her shoulder, said something into her ear. Whatever it was made her laugh and hit him on the chest at the same time, before kissing his cheek and leading him back out onto the dance floor.

A moment later Jack felt a hand on his back and his face lit up, knowing that touch anywhere.

"Hey, Beautiful." He said, turning to stare into Carly's bright blue eyes. She smiled up at him and after kissing him quickly, she brushed a thumb over his lips to wipe the excess traces of lipstick away.

"Hey, yourself. Penny for your thoughts?" Carly said and he turned her so that she was leaning back against his chest with his arms crossed over her waist, hugging her from behind.

"Just thinking about how fast Parker has grown up." Jack said and Carly's eyes followed his to watch the boy in question charmingly slow dance with his girlfriend.

Her gaze then moved over to where J.J. was dancing with Bonnie, desperately trying not to blush at the same time.

"Both of our boys are becoming mature men." She said, sighing.

But before Jack could respond, the waiters walked by with extra slices of wedding cake and both Bonnie and Mattie found themselves abandoned on the dance floor while the two boys followed the pastries.

"Then again..._maybe_ not." Jack drawled out and Carly laughed, nodding her agreement.

"Hmm, at least we don't have to worry about Sage for a few more years." Carly said, causing both her and Jack to search out their older daughter.

She felt Jack's entire body stiffen as they watched Sage walk up to Adam Tyler, one of the young police cadets that Jack and Dallas had been helping Margo train. At Sage's request to dance Adam grinned, casting a discreetly amused glance back to the people he had been talking to. With a small bow, he held out his arm to a now blushing Sage in order to escort her to the dance floor.

At the low growl emanating from Jack's throat, Carly forced herself to maintain a straight face as she shrugged.

"Huh…_maybe_ not." She said, like he had a moment ago about J.J. and Parker. At Jack's subsequent glare, she shrugged again."Well, look, Sweetie, you still have Emmy."

"Yeah, and she's going be placed under lock and key until she's thirty!" Jack rapidly proclaimed and Carly couldn't help it as her confined laughter burst forth out of her.

Jack's lips reluctantly twitched too as he looked down into Carly's joyful expression. Then his eyes narrowed playfully and he released her from his hold, turning her around to face him fully.

"Speaking of Emmy…how was she when you snuck off to go check on her?"

Carly simply blinked at him and lifted her chin.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Jack raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, staring down at her with an amused expression.

"Oh, Carly, please. When three mommies, whose small children are only six floors above them, and an adoring aunt disappear only to return thirty-seven minutes later with goofy, happy faces it's not too hard to figure out where they went."

She tried to hold onto the innocent face before caving and she smiled up at him, slipping her arms around his waist.

"Okay, you found us out." She said and Jack leaned down to kiss her quickly in triumph. "Katie fed Robby and I let Gwen give Emma her bedtime bottle, while Lily checked in on Ethan. According to Lauren, he watched reruns of _Go, Diego, Go_ on the TV until his eyes glazed over and then he conked out around nine."

As Jack chuckled he tenderly brushed the swoop of her bangs away from her eyes, earning another small kiss for his assistance before she continued.

"I rocked Emmy to sleep and when I laid her down in the crib I told her that, while we love her and her brothers and sister more than life itself, Mommy and Daddy also love each other very much and that's why we got married today. Then after Katie tucked Robby into his crib too, we headed back down here to the party. No harm, no foul."

"And what did Emmy say when you told her all of that stuff?" Jack said, holding her to him.

"Oh, she already knew." Carly whispered back and Jack bent his head down to nibble at her lips. She shifted closer and deepened the kiss, until the sounds of the party reminded them that they had an audience.

It was about an hour and a half later when Eric spoke into the microphone as the last strains of Madonna's _Vogue_ remix died away.

"Okay folks, it's time for that last wedding tradition, the toss of the bouquet and garter, to be followed by the last dance of the night." Eric said and gestured at Carly. "So, Carly, if you would be so kind as to make yourself the center of attention on the dance floor once again, we'll get started."

Molly appeared at Carly's side and handed her the "throwaway bouquet", which was basically just a smaller version of the bridal bouquet. Carly waited patiently as the single females gathered in a small group behind her, choking back a laugh at the sight of both Jack and Holden's faces when they saw their daughters join the group. She briefly wondered if, when it came to the Sage's first school dance in another year or so, whether or not she would have to slip Jack a mild sedative on the night in question.

Funny enough, it was Mattie who caught it and when Adam Tyler was the one who caught the garter both Lee and Parker hovered nearby as he went to put it on Mattie's leg. There was no need, though, because Adam was a total gentleman and stopped sliding the garter on just above her knee. Then he reached down to help Mattie out of the chair before placing a small kiss to the back of her hand. At that, Parker gave a little glare and immediately took Mattie's hand back from the young cadet. However he was properly chastised for his possessive behavior by a quick elbow to the ribs from his girlfriend.

As the last song began to play, Nat King Cole's version of _That's All_, people either paired off or prepared to head home. Carly and Jack professed their gratitude as people left, even though their verbal sentiments weren't even close to the appreciation they actually felt towards the group of people who had taken the time out to celebrate with them.

Not a stupid woman, Lily had booked the other newly renovated double suites for family to stay over at the hotel. But when she had offered the rooms to Meg and Paul, as well as Katie and Brad, both couples had been grateful but confessed they would rather go home to their own beds. After Brad collected Robby, but before they headed out, there was a pledge to have a family get together to watch the wedding video when Carly and Jack got the final copy.

Soon the only adults left were Lily, Holden, Molly, Lee, Jack, Carly, and Emma. The kids, who had partied like good little rock stars while it lasted, were now sporadically draped over chairs and people in various states of consciousness.

Sage was sitting on Jack's lap, her arm hanging over his shoulder and her face hidden in the crook of his neck as she vainly fought sleep.

Natalie was already out cold, tucked into Lily's side, and Faith's head lay on Lily's shoulder. The young teen's hand was entwined in her mother's grasp as she glassily stared straight ahead, already having mentally shutdown a good ten minutes beforehand.

J.J. was huddled up in a chair with his forehead pressed against the top of Carly's bare shoulder, his eyes blinking sleepily while she affectionately ran her fingers through his hair in that familiar calming rhythmic motion.

In a group of about five chairs pulled together to create a long bench, Mattie was drowsily stretched out with her head pillowed on Parker's thigh and with his suit jacket wrapped around her shoulders. Parker, the poor boy, was trying desperately to keep from yawning every five seconds but failing horribly.

As he returned from helping Molly load the wedding gifts into her SUV to drop off later to Jack and Carly, Lee looked around at the kids and chuckled in Jack's direction.

"Well, mate, I think we can all agree that you throw one heck of a banger party."

"Here, here." Molly agreed, leaning into Lee's side and closing her eyes happily when he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Oh, I almost forgot." Lily said suddenly, lowering her voice when Natalie stirred grumpily. "Carly, can you reach inside my clutch? It's on the table behind you."

Carly turned slightly to reach for it, causing J.J. to grunt a protest when she stopped her attention to his head.

"Oh, hush." She said jokingly, bending her face to kiss his hair before opening Lily's purse.

"There should be a gold and black key card in the left inside pocket." Lily said and nodded when Carly lifted it up for confirmation. "Yeah, that's it."

"What is it for?" Carly asked and then reading the words scrawled across the bottom of the card, looked up at Lily in astonishment. "Oh, Lily, thank you!"

Jack looked confused for a moment and then it dawned on his the only reason that Lily would have a special key card for them. Turning to look at her he grinned.

"Yeah, Lily, thank you."

J.J. frowned, leaning over slightly to read the words "Honeymoon Suite" on the card and shuddered.

"Oh, spare me." He said, closing his eyes and making a face.

Carly playfully shrugged him off her shoulder and he sent her an impish smile, before yawning loudly.

Suddenly Holden appeared in the room, coming from having checked on the babysitters, with a sleeping Ethan in his arms. The little boy had woken up at the sound of his father's voice and insisted on coming to see everyone, but had conked back out on the short elevator ride back down. The toddler was dressed in his HULK costume minus the gloves as pajamas, having successfully negotiated that as a stipulation when told he was having a babysitter for the night instead of going to the party.

"Good timing, Hun." Lily said, nodding around the room at the various stages of sleeping children. "We're all fading fast."

Holden shifted Ethan in his arms and grinned, the exhaustion in his eyes showing that he wasn't far behind them.

"Lauren already left to go home since she lives a little farther away, but Allie is waiting in the suite until you and the kids get there, Mom. I told her you were on your way up."

Emma nodded and stood, stretching lethargically. She and Sage would be sleeping in the main bedroom of the suite the babies had been in, with Emmy's crib situated by their bed, while the boys slept out in the living room area on the pullout sofa.

As kisses and hugs were passed around, plans were made to meet up in the restaurant for a nice family brunch around noon.

Sage was roused just long enough to mutter a half-asleep goodnight to her parents along with her brothers before J.J. literally had to steer her out of the room by her shoulders and towards the elevator. Parker waved one last time, then groggily reached out to take the hand of Mattie, who had been waiting for him to leave the ballroom. The happy, but exhausted, group was riding up to the 12th floor together since they all had rooms within a few numbers from each other.

After they had gone, Jack looked around at the empty room, with the lights still twinkling merrily, until his eyes landed on Carly standing a few feet away.

"You tired?" Jack asked, his eyes watching her. Carly stared back just as intensely and she slowly shook her head.

"Not in the least, G-man." She said, a deliciously sensual smile spreading across her face. "But I _am_ more than ready to see our room."

Jack stretched out a hand towards her and winked, even as his warm brown eyes darkened with barely concealed desire.

"Your wish is my command, Mrs. Snyder." He said and together they exited the soft glow of the ballroom, not sparing a glance behind them as they eagerly headed towards the elevators.


	72. Where One Ends The Other Begins

**Author's Note: Okay guys, this one took a while because**

**a) this is the second to last chapter and that surprised/depressed the heck out of me. The last chapter is more like an epilogue (although it's a helluva epilogue if I do say so myself LOL) which will get posted when my review count says 440 (*evil grin*)**

**and**

**b) since it could "technically" be the last chapter, I wanted to get it just right. Well, I should say there was certain...um...parts that I wanted to get right. Like the stuff that gave ****this chapter a "M" rating. Yes, people, you read that right...there is M rated material ahead! You have been warned! There is other content in this chapter, but after a certain point there is a "Bow Chicka Wow Wow" song in the background (okay, I pictured more like a Barry White song but you get my point).**

**As always...and maybe even more this time (wink wink)...ENOJY!  
~JP**

True North  
By Jaclyn Parker

"_He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began."  
__~Leo Tolstoy  
_************************************************************************************************************************************************

Carly could feel the shivers of anticipation up and down her spine as she watched Jack slide the key card in and out of the electronic panel with a resounding beep. He turned to her, pushing the door open, and she gave him a small smile. Before she could say anything, Jack had swept her into his arms and was carrying her over the doorway.

"Jack, put me down before you hurt yourself." Carly said, but she was laughing as clung to his neck.

"What? You doubt my male prowess?" Jack said and Carly rolled her eyes.

"No, of course not, Darling. However, I _do_ doubt your ability not to drop me when you finally notice the bucket of chilled champagne and hors d'oevures by the coffee table." Carly said, nodding her head in the direction she talked about and his eyes followed her movement.

Sure enough, Jack's eyes lit up at the sight of food and he placed her on her feet before moving to check out their bounty.

"How'd you know I was hungry?" Jack asked as he popped a cheese and pepperoni covered cracker into his mouth.

"Jack, you're a man. That means that you're _always_ hungry." Carly laughed and then accepted a nice juicy red grape as he offered it to her. She noticed a blinking red light out of the corner of her eye and turned her head towards the room phone in the living room area of the humongous honeymoon suite. "We have a message. I wonder who it could be."

Jack quirked an eyebrow and shrugged. "Why don't you play it while I pop open the champagne?"

Carly nodded and lifted the phone to her ear. Hitting the voicemail button and then the one for speakerphone, she placed the receiver back in the cradle as a familiar voice floated into the room.

_"Hey Carly, it's Monique."_

Jack froze mid-way through lifting the champagne bottle out of the ice filled bucket and looked at Carly. She merely looked back at him, just as confused as he was.

_"I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the wedding in person. By the way, thank you for thinking of inviting me. I would have loved to have been there but I actually had a last minute meeting with the head honchos at corporate about your new label. I know you, Carly, having worked with you all those months and saw your work ethic when it came to your designing. If you were going to accept the offer, you would have done it mere days after it was presented."_

At Monique's words, Jack studied Carly where she was standing by the end of the sofa, her hands gripping the arm as she now stared at the phone in silence. As radiant as she still looked, a little bit of the light in her eyes had dimmed. While Jack wanted nothing more to comfort her, he didn't know if he had any words to help heal the loss of her designing dream yet again.

Even though this was one of the happiest days of Carly's life, she couldn't help the momentary wave of sadness that washed over her. It was true that she had already made the decision to stay in Oakdale, despite Jack's words earlier about the family being okay with moving to California. While she didn't doubt his or the children's sincerity, she knew that they would all lose something by leaving Oakdale, something precious and unexplainable. Carly didn't want that for any of them, including herself.

_"So, like I said, I had a meeting this evening with the corporate leaders and after a very long debate it seemed that they were prepared to let you loose. However, someone…A-K-A yours truly…happened to mention that your talent was too good to let slip through their fingers on a stupid geographic technicality and that someone else might not see the problem as they did. Apparently the thought of you being snatched up by another parent company was enough of a slap on the head to make them see reason. They agreed to let me call you to propose the new deal."_

At the words "new deal" both Carly and Jack's heads snapped up to look at each other, their eyes wide.

_"Your own label, full creative license, and the only traveling you would have to do would be to Los Angeles one weekend, every other month. It would be all expenses paid trip in order to go over progress reports for any new collections or designs and you would be having a routine bi-monthly budget meeting with the accounting department. Oh and, of course, you'd need to join us for the New York, L.A., and Chicago fashion weeks. When you find a base of operations in Oakdale, I've already requested to be your L.A. liaison, which they said will be approved seeing as how we well we've proven we work together."_

Monique let out a laugh and the sound of champagne being uncorked came through the speaker.

_"We both know what your going to say so may I be the first to offer congratulations, Carly Tenney…or should I say Snyder? Either way, you've got it all now girl! Enjoy your wedding weekend and I'll talk to you on Monday!"_

The message clicked off and Jack turned slowly to look at Carly, but panicked momentarily when all he saw was the top of her blonde head over the high arm of the sofa. He rushed over to see her sitting on the floor, wedding dress and all, leaning up against the couch and staring straight ahead blankly.

"Carly?" Jack said softly and knelt down on the floor next to her. "Honey?"

"I don't…I'm dreaming, aren't I? This whole day, the wedding, the message on the machine; everything is just a dream and I'm going to wake up and it's going to all be gone." Carly murmured and Jack smiled, brushing the back of his knuckles down the side of her face.

"No, Baby, this is real. _We're_ real."

Carly looked at him and the sheen of tears in her eyes along with the heartbreaking mix of disbelief and fear was nearly his undoing.

"Carly, this has been a long time coming. You deserve this." Jack tried again but Carly just shook her head like a petulant child.

"But that's just it, Jack." Carly said, her eyes flashing. "I don't deserve it…_any_ of it. At least...not until I confess something to you."

"Carly…" Jack started to say but she placed her fingertips over his mouth.

"Let me say this, okay? You had your five minutes earlier, let me have mine."

Jack saw that she was completely serious and although it was with reluctance, he nodded.

"Jack, this past year, I _enjoyed_ watching you fight to get me back. I enjoyed it a lot more than I should have. And even though a lot of me turning you down was to keep you from finding out about my pregnancy, there was a small part of me that _enjoyed _watching you have to deal with that rejection."

Despite the fact that Carly's hand had long slipped off of Jack's mouth, he stayed silent allowing his eyes to reveal his hurt and confusion. Sighing, Carly struggled to find a way to explain what she was trying to tell him.

"I think I was glad that you were finally feeling what I had felt all those times you felt that we needed to be part. It wasn't right, I _know_ that, and I'm ashamed of how it sounds. But it wasn't until you proposed that first time, a few weeks ago, that I really sat down and began questioning why I was still saying no. And in doing that I finally figured something very important out."

Carly took a deep breath, twisting her new rings around her finger as if needing something to ground her before she spoke.

"Every time that I felt that you were placing the blame for the things that had gone wrong in our marriage squarely on my shoulders, I was subconsciously doing the same thing to you." Carly said, shaking her head at her self. "I kept thinking, 'oh, if Jack had only been a little more patient' or 'if Jack had been a little more understanding' or 'if Jack had only let me explain why I did what I did'. But I realized, now, that all that line of thinking was, in reality, a way to help excuse my behavior in my own mind. I know that I've apologized in the past for things like Nick Kasnoff, and my diagnosis, and most importantly Simon. But what I don't think I have ever said was how I am _truly_ sorry for how my decisions during those...situations...helped to destroy what we had. And I'm not talking about just our marriage, Jack. I'm talking about the damage it did to the trust and deep bond that I had with my best friend."

At this, Jack gave her a soft smile and reached out to squeeze her hand. Giving him a small smile in return, Carly sighed.

"I don't know if you know this but I tend to not look before I leap off of some pretty monstrous cliffs."

For the first time since she started, Jack spoke up.

"Carly, I _never _wanted that cliff jumping girl I met and fell in love with all those years ago to disappear." Jack said, smiling at her.

"The adventurous side of you just makes me love you more, even during the times that it also manages to infuriate the hell out of me. And I understand that when certain situations come up that threaten the ones you care about, _especially_ your family, you are used to feeling that it is all up to you to fix things because growing up you've ingrained the thought that you only have yourself to rely on in the end. But all I _ever_ wanted was for you to know that, _that_ is not true anymore. I know that for the first half of your life you rarely got a fair shake from anyone, especially the law, so it's just easier to break the rules than risk losing out to them. But, Honey, I swear to you that if you just let me in on those times when you feel like you have no where else to turn, I can promise you that I will help you move heaven and earth to help it turn out okay. We make a pretty great team, in case you've forgotten."

At Jack's words, she was encouraged enough to give him one of her infamous impish looks.

"So basically, what we've just settled here is the fact that I'm still going to leap off cliffs on occasion. It's just that, now, I'll be more receptive to listening to you when you tell me to throw a rock over first to test the waters below."

"If you want to put it that way, yes." Jack said, chuckling at her analogy before becoming serious again. "And for the record, one last time, I don't blame you for anything that happened between us in the past. Not anymore and not ever again. What's done is done."

"So, I don't blame you and you don't blame me. Where does that leave us?" Carly said, reaching up to gently stroke Jack's cheek with her index finger as her eyes searched his.

"How about a fresh start to the rest of our lives?" Jack said, capturing Carly's hand in mind movement.

"Sounds perfect." Carly replied, tears of relief welling up in her eyes as he turned her hand over to a kiss to her palm.

Leaning over, Jack kissed her lips before getting to his feet again. He gently pulled her up from the floor too and turned her by the shoulders in the direction of the bedroom part of the suite.

"Okay, you go get out of that stunning beautiful dress before I tear it off of you and I'll get to opening up the bubbly."

Carly laughed and gave him a devilish look over her shoulder as she did as told. In the midst of checking out the expensive label on the bottle of champagne, he listened to Carly tell him from the other room about the scattered vanilla scented candles and rose petals that their thoughtful friend had ordered placed about. He was just about to start untwisting the gold metal cage around the cork of the bottle when she yelled out to him.

"Jack, come look at this!"

"Oh for the love of…what is it now? I can't take many more surprises tonight." Jack said, hurriedly placing the champagne back in chilled bucket and heading into the bedroom.

Carly stood by the large king sized bed, holding a small light green shopping bag in one hand and a large manila envelope in the other. Handing Jack the envelope, Carly proceeded to peer into the shopping bag, before immediately closing it back up again.

"What's in it?" Jack asked, but Carly just shook her head and pointed to the envelope.

"Open it up."

Jack gave her an odd look but his curiosity was getting the better of him and he tore into the manila packaging and pulled out a written letter. Scanning it quickly, his eyes widened and he began to read out loud.

"Dear Jack and Carly, imagine my horror when Molly informed me that neither of you have ever really had a honeymoon. So we put our heads together and determined that we needed to rectify that immediately. Enclosed you will find that you have been booked a private house at the Big Sky Ski Resort in Montana for the first week in December."

Carly looked at Jack in shock, who stared back before shaking his head and continuing to read.

"Yes, we knew that you wouldn't want to be away from the kids for a week, especially with Emmy being so young so we booked a three bedroom with an additional master suite. We were assured that the suite is very private so you _will _actually get a honeymoon. Enjoy it because you both deserve it. Love, Lee and Molly. PS, if you think this is too much, just remember that you are doing us a huge favor come the New Year."

Jack finished and after a long moment of thought, looked at Carly.

"What favor?"

Carly just blinked and shifted as she finally slipped her long forgotten heels off in an effort to stall. Jack fought a smile when she suddenly became two inches shorter but, at the shifty look she wore, he repeated his question.

"Carly, what favor?"

"Um, did I forget to mention that I said Mattie could stay with us when Lee and Molly go on their honeymoon to the Bahamas?"

"Mattie…with us…in our house…five kids…_three_ teenagers?" Jack sputtered, feeling slightly faint as he began to imagine what that was going to be like.

"Don't worry, Jack. It's only a week." Carly said as she slid by him towards the bathroom, kissing the underside of his chin.

"A _week_?" Jack echoed, his eyes widening as he watched her start to disappear into the bathroom. Suddenly realizing she was leaving the bedroom he tilted his head in confusion. "Hey, where are you going?"

"Oh, I dunno, Jack, it's a bathroom so naturally I thought I'd head in there to write a concerto for the Chicago Philharmonic." Carly said, quirking an eyebrow and a small smile playing on her lips.

"Smartass." Jack said, rolling his eyes and Carly laughed softly. "How about I finally pop the champagne while you…um…you know…whatever?"

"Sounds like a plan." Carly said, laughing again. Then, just before she closed the door, she eyed him up and down. "Oh, and G-man?"

He turned to look at her from where he was about to head back into the living room in order to retrieve that poor lonely bottle of champagne.

"Normally I love you in your dress blues but right now…I'd love you even more _out_ of them."

With a wink, she shut the bathroom door and left Jack to continue into the living room with a dopey grin on his face.

Within five minutes he had stripped out of his dress uniform, placing it neatly folded on one of the two comfortable looking armchairs by the large picture window in the bedroom, and changed into a nice pair of long, black, jersey cotton pajamas pants that were slung low on his hips. After lighting the candles around the room and turning the bed covers down, Jack padded over to the ice bucket that he had now placed on the small table set conveniently in between the two armchairs. He had just uncorked the champagne and finished pouring two flutes full when he heard the bathroom door open behind him.

"Perfect timing, Beautiful."

Turning with the glasses in hand, whatever else it was that Jack was about to say flew completely out of his head as he stared at the vision in front of him.

Carly stood in the doorframe of the bathroom, lit by the glow of the candlelight in the room, wearing nothing but a satin babydoll nightie and her blonde hair now curling softly around her shoulders.

White with an stylish black floral design, the nightie was cut in what was known as a flyaway style so that it was open in the front to expose the stomach and let the matching string bikini underwear peek through. But what immediately caught Jack's attention, once he could begin to focus on minor details again, was that the entire thing was only being kept together by a nice little drawstring bow of black ribbon in the valley between Carly's breasts.

Carly, for her part, had been stunned to see the contents of the small green bag that waited on the bed. Recognizing it immediately as a gift bag from the new lingerie shop on Fernwood Street, she also remembered that the nightie she now wore had been one of the designs that she had liked when checking it out with Molly a few weeks back. But after the fallout of the dismissed proposal, she hadn't seen the point in buying it. But upon seeing it again, she had to admit that it was a beautiful piece of negligee that was just her taste.

Only, Carly was still slightly nervous in wearing something this revealing only four months after having given birth. Rationally, she knew that her stomach was just as flat as her pre-birth body thanks to a combination of the hospital's bandaging, her daily jogs with Emmy, and natural genetics. But underneath it all, Carly was still a normal woman and sometimes when she looked in the mirror all she could see was a stretch mark here or that extra pound or two there.

"Well…what do you think?" She ventured to say, fidgeting with one of the black spaghetti straps holding up her lingerie.

"Mmmm," Jack just murmured as he put the champagne flutes down on the table and headed in her direction, never taking his eyes off her once.

"Jack?" Carly said, as he made his way over to her with a look in his eyes that sent her pulse racing.

He reached her in record time and purposely pulled her to him, taking her lips in a hungry kiss that quickly left her clinging to him. When they finally had to break apart for air, she dipped her head back and eyed him with desire darkened eyes.

"I guess that means you approve?" Carly asked breathlessly, her fingertips digging into his upper back as she held onto him tightly.

"Mmmm," Jack hummed again loudly as he bent his head to attack the soft spot behind her left earlobe.

"Jack, what about the champagne?" Carly said, spying the discarded glasses over his left bicep.

"Mmmm mmmm." Jack grunted, shaking his head, before moving from the spot on behind her ear to the actual earlobe itself.

"Well, that's just great. I've reduced…you…to a….caveman." Carly said, suddenly finding it hard to finish forming complete sentences herself as he kept up his tingle inducing actions.

At her words, Jack abruptly stopped and before she could say anything else he had swept her into his arms and deposited her firmly on the bed with a slight bounce. When she settled, her head landed on one of the ultra soft pillows with her golden hair fanned out around her. Jack immediately followed her onto the bed, straddling her thighs lightly and planting his hands on either side of her shoulders. He leaned down into her face so that their noses were touching and grinned.

"Bed good. Clothes bad."

Carly let out a burst of laughter feeling her heart swell with even more love for this man, who could make her laugh with the stupidest jokes. Her laughter soon caught in her throat as Jack's lips quickly found their way to that spot on her neck that caused her to involuntarily shudder with pleasure. He continued to alternately kiss and nibble his way down her chest, skimming the creamy swells of both her breasts as they strained against the bra cups of her negligee. He let his index finger draw a line from the bow to just below her navel and then followed it with a blazing trail using his tongue and lips.

Jack's entire body had shifted during this slow and seductive process so that he was now easily situated in between her open legs. After toying with the thin strings that made up the sides of her underwear just long enough to make her squirm, he proceeded to pull them down. As he slid the satin panties along her long lithe legs, he kissed every inch of new flesh that he encountered along the way on either side. Finally he reached her feet and wiggled his eyebrows up at her when he managed to fling the tiny scrap of satin through the doors of the bedroom and into the living room like a slingshot.

Carly couldn't help the soft breath of laughter that escaped her and waited eagerly for him to come back up to her. Except he surprised her and, instead, settled himself on his stomach between her legs again, kissing the sides of her knees. She was mystified until she felt his mouth move to begin to nibble at the inside of her thighs and his fingers deftly found their way to the center of all her heat.

Carly's own fingers stretched down to try and thread their way into his hair but upon realizing that it was beyond her reach, they found compensation in the bed sheets by her sides. Bunching the fabric up under her fists, she found she couldn't help the automatic bucking of her hips that happened as she felt Jack's hot breath on the inside of her thighs accompanied by his skillful fingers. When she felt his lips turn upward in a smile against her skin, she wanted to reprimand him for being so smug and taking so long to get to where she really ached for him. But as he began pressing light kisses closer and closer to her warmth, Carly found herself becoming less and less annoyed. And when he finally placed that one long-awaited kiss to her center, she instantly forgave him for everything she could think of, ranging from making her wait that extra five seconds to buying her a toaster for her birthday four years ago.

Carly's body positively pulsated for more but when Jack pulled away, it appeared that the one kiss was to be the end of it. Silently, Jack made his way back up her body to stretch out and lie on his side next to her. She looked at him in slight confusion and more than a little frustration.

"I want to see your face." Jack said simply, nuzzling the side of her head as his fingers danced across her stomach. Again they played with the bow at the center of her chest, but this time he began to slowly pull the strings. Finally the negligee came undone and helping her slide it off her shoulders he tossed it over his head, only pausing to make sure he had missed any of the lit candles.

"You know, taking that off of you, was like unwrapping the most perfect wedding present in the world." Jack said tenderly and pressing a deep kiss her lips, his hand dipped back down to the place on her body that was throbbing for his touch.

Any reply that Carly was going to give was cut off immediately as he used his fingers to play her body like a well tuned instrument. If she had been able to think more clearly…or at all, for that matter…she wouldn't have been surprised that he knew her body and what she liked as well as he did. No man had _ever_ been able to bring her to the heights of pleasure that Jack could every time they made love. Finally, his fingers hit that perfect spot and Carly was flung up among those proverbial stars. Her hips lifted clear off the bed as she gasped out his name, with one hand still clutching the sheets by her side and the other coming up to grip onto his forearm like a lifeline.

Upon coming back down to Earth, Carly was vaguely aware of Jack murmuring endearments in her ear, some of which caused the post-climax flush over her body to turn into a light rose colored blush. She opened her eyes to see him staring at her with so much love and tenderness in his face that, for a moment, she was breathless for a completely different reason.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" Jack whispered to her and with a shaking hand, she reached up to cup his cheek.

He turned his face and pressed kisses from her palm up her forearm to the inside of her elbow. Her skin and nerves were extra sensitive from her release and Carly couldn't help the shiver that went through her. And yet, as beyond wonderful as the experience had been, her body seemed to know that something essential had been missing. Shifting her leg, her thigh brushed up against the front of Jack's body and the hardness it found there sent a resounding "ping" deep inside of her.

Gathering more strength by the second, Carly boldly reached down to brush the back of her hand along the front of Jack's pajama pants. His sharp hiss of breath made her eyes twinkle and that impish grin to reappear. Never taking her eyes off his face, she let the fingertips of one hand skim the waistband of his pants, tickling the smooth plane of muscle she found there.

Like Carly, Jack rarely found the time to have scheduled work outs but due to the line of work he was in, he kept himself in very good shape. Of course, it didn't hurt that he had found himself spending more time in the gym in the past few months working off the pent up sexual frustration from being around Carly day in and day out. In fact, Jack was probably in almost as good a shape now as ever was.

Carly was finding that fact out for herself as she shifted slightly so that she could get better access to his pants and gently began to tug the material that clung stubbornly to his hips. The lower it got and the more Carly could see of that delicious "V" that formed Jack's groin area, the louder that damn "ping" got inside of her.

"Carly, baby, we can rest a moment. We have all night." Jack said, truly meaning it even though the lower half of his body was basically screaming at him to shut the hell up.

It didn't really matter because, of course, as she tended to do more often then not, Carly just took his words as a challenge.

Unashamedly ignoring his statement, she enthusiastically helped divest him of those soft cotton pajama bottoms, her nails tickling him in all the right places while doing so and sending lightening bolts of pleasure to his brain. As soon as the pants had joined Carly's clothes on the floor, she slid one of her hands in between them to wrap around him firmly.

When she began to administer seductive payback on him, Jack's eyes closed in gratification but after a moment or two, he reached down and stilled her hand's movements. Opening his eyes he looked at her and shook his head, conveying how incredibly close he was to losing it with her touch.

Not wanting to ruin it for him but also not ready to relinquish control, Carly let go only to gently push him on his shoulder so that he was lying on his back. Straddling his hips in a movement parallel to how the night began, she copied his actions further by giving his neck and chest the same kissing and nibbling treatment he had done for her. Only, Carly added her nails to the mix, alternating between raking them over his skin with firm pressure and gliding them with a feather light touch. It had been a tried and true method that drove him crazy in the past and, if his moans were anything to go by, it definitely still worked.

Jack's hands moved upward on her body, caressing her as they skimmed over her ribcage and up to cup her breasts. Carly willingly pressed them further into his hands and then, leaning forward slightly, she reached back to position him. Jack's hands slid down to grip her waist and as she hovered over him, they locked eyes. Without any verbal exchange between them, she began to sink down at the exact moment he applied pressure to her hips.

Carly gasped when he entered her, pressing down as she spread her knees a little farther apart on either side of him therefore inviting him even deeper. Jack moved slowly at first, wanting to make it last, but her soft moans and the insistent demands of her hips matching every thrust he gave, urged him to move faster. The two of them rocked together with ever-increasing need, mouths coming together passionately as they roared towards release.

Finally, Carly sat up on his body and, arching her back, she pressed one hand to his chest and one behind her on his thigh to brace herself. Pushing her pelvis against his as though trying to meld her body to his own, she moaned his name aloud, convulsing on top him as she toppled over the edge of happy oblivion and pulling him with her. Wave upon wave of ecstasy rushed through her and by the tight grip Jack had on her hips, along with the near reverent sound of her name on his lips, Carly knew that it was just as powerful for him.

When their bodies calmed down at last, Carly cracked her eyes open to find herself draped over Jack's chest, her nose pressed into the hollow of his throat as his strong arms held her to him tightly. A few moments later, Jack finally found the strength again in order to move out from underneath her and when he tapped her backside like a wrestler tapping out of a pin, Carly just grinned lazily.

Unlike the last time they had made love, where she had held onto him like a vice grip when they were done, this time Carly willingly obliged by sliding to the side and landing on the soft bed. Deep in her mind and her soul, she no longer had any fear that he was going anywhere other than the bathroom.

As soon as Jack had finished, Carly took her turn while he wandered around the room blowing out all the candles. He paused only to throw on a pair of deep green boxer shorts from his overnight bag and to set the alarm on the nightstand to wake them around ten.

A moment after he had climbed into the bed, Carly emerged from the bathroom again, this time wearing a matching pale pink and cream lace bra and panty set. Noticing that the lower half of the underwear was in the boyshort style he liked so much on her, he gave her a smile that let her know it was just as sexy to him as the negligee she had come out in earlier. Even though Carly rolled her eyes, as she slid under the covers to join him in the bed, she did so with a smile.

Right away, Jack pulled her into his arms, holding her slender form against him. When her bare legs tangled with his and her warm body molded into his side, he was pretty positive that he had never been so happy in his life. Carly kissed his chest drowsily, just over his heart, and he leaned down for a long lingering kiss.

"Happy, Mrs. Snyder?" Jack asked, gently running his fingers through her tousled hair.

"Mmmm," Carly hummed blissfully, causing Jack to laugh.

"Now who's speaking caveman?" He said, receiving a small lethargic swat on the chest in return.

"Okay, Funny Man, we cave dwellers better get some sleep." Carly said, yawning and stretching her _very_ sated body. "Big brunch plans later this morning."

"Yeah, good point." Jack said, glancing at the clock and reading the late hour. While half of him was cringing at the time, the other half couldn't help but be very self-satisfied about how long it had been since they first started making love. Another thought along those lines crossed his mind and he couldn't help the wicked grin that spread across his face.

"We might have to get up later to meet everyone, but when we go on that honeymoon trip, I claim one whole day in bed with you. The kids can watch Emmy; they owe us."

"For what?" Carly asked, lifting up momentarily to stare at him with a raised eyebrow.

"I dunno yet, but I'm sure between now and the first week in December _something_ will come up." Jack deadpanned.

Carly laughed and happily agreed. As the thick blanket of sleep surrounded them, she gave a soft sigh.

"Jack, our wedding …this whole thing…was amazing." Carly said, snuggling deeper into his side. "Thank you."

"Hmm, you're_ very_ welcome." Jack murmured into her hair, pressing a quick kiss to it as he felt the tug of sleep envelop him.

"There's only one small problem." Carly said, yawning again and she could feel Jack's confusion radiate from him.

"And what's that?" He asked, furrowing his brow deeply even though she couldn't see from her position on his chest.

"Now you have to try and top it for our 50th anniversary." She said and laughed when his fingers dug into her ribs tickling her.

"I'll get right on that." Jack said as her giggles faded away.

When Carly turned onto her side he immediately spooned behind her, pulling her so close that she could feel his heartbeat on her back. A final sigh of contentment escaped Jack before being followed by the familiar soft snores that let her know that he was already fast asleep. Shifting to pull his arms tighter around her stomach, she entwined the fingers of her left hand with his own.

The pale moonlight glinting off their joint wedding bands was the last image that Carly saw before she drifted off into sleep right behind her husband.


	73. Epilogue: Where This Story Ends

**Author's Note: I would like to dedicate this chapter to all my loyal readers that have stuck with me for the past 73 (holy crap!!!) chapters and so thoughtfully reviewed almost all of them (if not all of them!): _Allie, ParkWestFan, Shar25, Lindadela, QUEENADDEK, TrueNorth2009, Carjackers07, Kate, Jaynique, Gwenyth Hunter, Lainey, and Jessica.  
_Without you guys, I would be nothing and this story probably wouldn't have ever continued past the first chapter.**

**To all my readers who have read this story, whether you reviewed or not, thank you and I hope that you enjoyed it. It was a pleasure for me to write (minus the stupid bouts of writer's block) and I still love this couple with all my heart even if our show and TPTB who run it, don't appreciate them like they should. To all my fellow CarJack fans...KEEP THE FAITH!**

**Now, for the last time in Truth North,...ENJOY!  
~JP**

True North: Epilogue  
By Jaclyn Parker

_If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.  
~Orson Welles  
_************************************************************************************************************************************************

_3 ½ Months Later_

"Daddy, you're cheating!" Sage cried, pointing at the pile of colorful money situated in front of Jack.

"I am not! The bank owed me $100 so I took it." Jack said, raising an eyebrow.

"What for?" J.J. asked, his own eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"Um…tax refund." Jack said and the two kids glared at him. Turning to the two figures on the couch, he looked for an ally. "What do you think, Emmy? Did Daddy cheat?"

At hearing her name, the now seven month old baby turned her head towards where Jack was sitting on the floor near the coffee table. She was standing on her mother's stomach while Carly reclined on the sofa with her knees drawn up to support the baby so she could lean back against Carly's thighs. Emmy bounced on her legs a few times while gripping Carly's thumbs with her tiny hands and blew a loud raspberry in Jack's direction.

"I think that's a yes, Jack." Carly announced, grinning as Emmy blew another raspberry then laughed, decidedly amused with herself.

"Traitor." Jack mumbled but he too, was smiling.

"Judge Emma has ruled. Give it back!" J.J. said and both kids simultaneously reached out to take the two 50 dollar bills that Jack had sneakily amassed and replaced them in the bank.

Carly watched Jack mutter again under his breath and smiled broadly. Stretching out one of Emmy's hands in his direction she shook it playfully at him.

"Say, _'that's what you get for cheating, Daddy'_!"

Then, pulling the baby closer, she blew kisses on Emmy's stomach causing a loud belly laugh to escape. As she gently pushed Emmy away to lean against her thighs again, Carly caught sight of the time on her watch.

"Okay, guys, I hate to break this up but it's bedtime."

"Come on, Mommy!" Sage protested, a small whine to her voice. "It's technically a holiday!"

"It might be _Valentine's Day_, but it is still a school night." Carly added, sitting up completely when Emmy yawned and began to fuss. The tired baby rubbed her eyes and leaned back against Carly's chest, allowing her to cuddle Emmy close before addressing her two older children in the room again. "Even Parker still has to be home by his weeknight curfew."

"But Mom, it's only nine-thirty." J.J. said, frowning as he also read the time but by the clock on the mantle.

"Fine, Sage, you can stay up another half hour to read or watch TV quietly in your room and J.J., you can have an hour. But then, lights out with _no_ arguments." Jack said and looked to Carly. When she nodded her agreement, he began helping them pack up the Monopoly board and cleaning up the aftermath of their ice cream sundaes from earlier.

Originally Parker, Mattie, J.J., and his girlfriend Becca, were all supposed to go out to dinner and then the movies for Valentine's Day. However, Becca's grandmother had gotten very sick and her family had gone to Boise, Idaho to be with her last minute. So an invitation was issued to Mattie for her to come to Milltown for dinner for instead of her and Parker spending a lot of money on a dinner for two that was initially going to be split by four people. Mattie had quickly agreed and the "at home" dinner had been a huge success. Although, without a doubt, the main highlight for everyone was watching Emmy's reaction to having her first taste of chocolate ice cream during dessert.

It had only amounted to maybe a tablespoon and a half total of the cold, sweet confection but it was a complete triumph. When Emmy had grabbed Carly's hand to try and bring the empty spoon back to her mouth, Jack had quickly announced that they had another chocoholic in the family. Then as the older teens had slipped out to go to the movies, the rest of them settled into the living room for a quiet family night.

As Carly received goodnight hugs and kisses from J.J. and Sage, she caught Jack's look as he went into the kitchen to warm Emmy's nighttime bottle. Blushing she looked away, knowing exactly why his eyes were sparkling like they were. She too, was thinking about the bottle of champagne and chocolate covered strawberries that were chilling on the bottom shelf of the refrigerator for later.

Since Emmy had started trying solid foods and had finally cut her first tooth a little over two weeks ago, Carly had started weaning her onto a bottle more regularly. Even with these changes Emmy had thankfully been sleeping through the night and not waking again until between seven and seven-thirty in the morning. All of these things combined meant that Carly and Jack were looking at a very nice, uninterrupted Valentine's Day evening.

"Well, maybe with _some_ interruptions." Carly said to herself quietly with a mischievous smile as she padded back downstairs after putting Emmy to bed exactly thirty-two minutes later...not she had been counting.

The living room lights were dimmed and soft music floated in the air, which Carly immediately recognized as the copy of the wedding CD that the DJ had given to them at the end of their reception. Jack was relaxing on the couch, two glasses of bubbling champagne sitting in front of him on the cofee table along with the bowl of strawberries all ready to go.

"Ah, my husband, the romantic." Carly said, coming over to sit next to him on the sofa and he immediately wrapped his arms around her when she shifted to lie back against his chest.

"Hmm, you know it." Jack murmured in her ear, causing a shiver to go down her spine. He leaned over to reach the coffee table while still lovingly holding her to him with his one arm. When he settled back again, he handed her one of the two flutes of champagne that he had adeptly brought with him.

Clinking their glasses together in a silent toast, they both took a long sip and Carly blinked in surprise.

"Wow, this is really good." She said and Jack chuckled.

"Actually, you can thank Vienna for that. She helped me pick it out."

"Vienna?" Carly's face echoed the shock that was in her voice. Then her eyes narrowed and she stared at the golden colored liquid in suspicion. "Are you sure it's not poisoned?"

Jack laughed and she gave a reluctant grin as she bounced up and down lightly along with the movements of his chest. "No, it's not. It's apparently a thank you gift for persuading Henry to take tonight off and let Jess run the club."

"Oh, well, the girl _is_ going to college for her degree in business management. I just figured it was good practice." Carly said, shrugging and then taking another sip of the champagne. Just because it came from the suggestion of a woman she couldn't stand didn't mean that she was going to let it go to waste. "Besides, _I_ wasn't going to be there tonight. I wanted to be with you."

"So I've been told." Jack said, sipping his own glass and making an innocent face when Carly turned to look at him over her shoulder.

"What does_ that_ mean?" She asked and he shrugged.

"Just that a little birdie told me about the special purchase you made at La Femme Jolie."

Carly frowned as she contemplated how he could have possibly known about the black and red lace teddy that she had bought to wear tonight and then she rolled her eyes.

"You know, I'm not sure I like this whole 'buddy-buddy' thing that you have going on with Lee now. And _he_ shouldn't be telling tales out of school that he heard from my blabbermouth of a cousin." Carly said, making a displeased noise in her throat.

"Hey, since he married Molly he's technically family, right? And families share." Jack said, trying to hide the smile that was on his face as he spoke. "And they _especially_ share vital information like that."

"Yeah, well…maybe I won't wear it now." Carly said, shaking her head but even _she_ knew that it was an empty threat. It just happened to be all that she had in her arsenal at the moment.

"Hmm, we'll see." Jack said and then, having apparently had enough of them talking, he tenderly brushed Carly's sleekly straightened hair away from her neck. Immediately he began pressing light kisses up and down the smooth column to end up just behind her right ear. Carly felt that familiar pool of liquid heat begin to form in her lower abdomen and closed her eyes in pleasure.

"And just _what_ do you think _you're_ doing?" Carly asked, her voice low and husky with barely concealed desire.

"Seducing my wife." Jack answered readily and nipped at her neck, before soothing it over again with another kiss. He grinned when he felt her entire body shudder against his and he happily repeated the action.

"Jack…" Carly trailed off as she turned her head to meet his lips and they kissed passionately.

She turned in his embrace to loop her arms around his neck while he slid his own hands up the back of her black cashmere sweater to find the clasp of her bra. He had just managed to deftly unhook the piece of underwear, which was accompanied by a soft moan from Carly, when the front door opened.

"Whoa! Whoa!" Parker said and shielded his face. "Okay, thank you _so_ much. Now I am blinded for life!"

Rolling their eyes, Jack and Carly repositioned themselves in a more decent pose and turned to collectively face their son.

"Cutting it kind of close aren't you?" Jack said, glancing at his watch and noticing that it was almost five minutes until eleven.

"Sorry…it's Valentine's Day." Parker said, as if that explained everything.

He removed his hands from his face and stuck them in his front jean pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels with a cheeky smile. From the happy post-makeout glow on his face, it appeared that he and Mattie had also had a very good night. Carly briefly wondered if they had paid any attention to whatever movie it was that they had gone to see but quickly came to the realization that she _really _didn't want to know the answer.

"Okay, Romeo." Jack said, trying to hide the kind of smile from his wife that only a father and son understood, and thumbed towards the stairs. "Bedtime in fifteen."

"Right, um, goodnight then." Parker said, taking two steps before turning to wag a finger at them like a stern pseudo-parent. "Oh, and please, try to remember that there are children in this house."

"_Goodnight_, Parker." Jack and Carly chorused.

With a small impish wave and accompanying wink, the feisty teenaged boy turned to continue towards the stairs. But before he could really go anywhere, a loud frantic banging came on the front door.

All three people jumped, startled by the sudden noise. Then, when it came again, the pounding somehow managed to sound even more frenzied than the first time.

Jack sprung into action and went to open the door before it woke up the rest of the house. Meanwhile Parker came back down the three steps he had managed to make it up before, in order to go stand protectively by Carly. Jack yanked open the door to reveal a slender and panicked looking brunette, who was holding a sleeping little boy in her arms.

"Please," she said, her voice nearly hysterical. "Are you Jack Snyder?"

With concerned look over his shoulder at his wife and oldest son, Jack turned back to the woman on their doorstep.

"Yes." He answered slowly and was about to ask her who she was except that she had already shifted focus past him towards Carly.

"And you're Carly…right?"

Carly just nodded, still stunned at the sight in front of her. At Carly's silent affirmation, tears started rolling down the woman's face.

"Oh, thank God, you're here." The woman said, clutching the child in her arms tightly. "Please, you _have_ to help me. She said that if I ever needed help, you were the only ones I could trust."

Jack looked back again at Carly who shrugged and then gestured for the woman to come inside. She did so without hesitation and Jack quickly shut the door behind her, once again sealing the cold February weather outside.

The woman moved to the sofa and laid her sleeping burden down, brushing a lock of light brown hair off of his forehead tenderly. The child looked like he could be no more than six years old and the woman tucked a raggedy looking stuffed dog in his arms before turning a pleading face back to Jack and Carly.

"Please, I don't know where else to go. I think someone is trying to kidnap my son."

Carly looked at Jack and he frowned, obvious confusion shared by them both. She then turned to Parker and placed a hand on his arm.

"Sweetie, could you go upstairs and check on everyone. Make sure that they're still asleep. And then I want you to stay upstairs."

"But Mom…" Parker frowned, sending a mistrustful look at the disheveled person sitting on their couch and Carly shook her head.

"It'll be okay. Just do as I ask, please."

Parker looked over at Jack who nodded and with another suspicious glance towards the sofa, Parker did as asked.

Once he was upstairs, Carly wasted no time and turned back to their unexpected guest.

"Okay, lady, who the hell are you?"

"My name is Nicole and this is my son, Joshua." She said, gesturing to the sleeping boy next to her. Then she looked up and bit her lip. "I've had the feeling that we were being watched for a while now. Little things, you know? Like the same car would be parked on our street a couple days in a row and then it would be gone again. Or I would think I would see the same man that I saw in the supermarket behind me in the bank or the video store."

Nicole shuddered and then placed a protective hand on her son's head, running her fingers through his brown locks. She shook her own head quickly and swallowed hard.

"Then two days ago, someone broke into our house. Everything was completely destroyed…except Josh's room. It was untouched apart from the fact that his recent school picture was missing from his dresser."

Nicole's dark brown eyes shown with the barely concealed terror she felt inside for the safety of her child.

"After that I just threw together anything that I could find, emptied my bank account, and we've been traveling to get here ever since. This is the only place where I knew I would find help. You're still a cop, right?"

"Look…Nicole, was it?" Jack said and when she nodded, he continued. "Yes, I am. But if you've been traveling for almost three days, I'm going to assume that you are _way _out of my jurisdiction."

Nicole didn't say anything just gave a wry smile and another nod.

"And, I'm sorry, but…we don't even _know _you." Carly chimed in this time.

Frowning in agreement, Jack slipped an arm around her shoulders when she walked over to stand by his side. Carly didn't want to, or mean to, sound callous in the situation, especially from one mother to another. But she could sense the chaos surrounding this woman and Carly, for one, had more than enough of that in the past couple years alone to last a lifetime.

"I know." Nicole replied but then looked down again at her son. "But you did know _him_…once."

It was then that Carly took a good look at the little boy lying fast asleep on their couch. The same rounded cheeks and pert little nose, plus the way his forehead crinkled when he frowned in his sleep suddenly brought a similar face forefront in her mind. Only, this time, the child was barely a year old.

"Oh my God, Jack." Carly gasped out, placing a hand over her mouth while the other gripped her husband's arm tightly. "It's...it's Cabot!"

Jack's eyes widened and then he, too, roamed his eyes over the child, de-aging him and looking for similar features. He must have come to the same conclusion that Carly did because he let out a sharp curse under his breath.

"But, this doesn't make any sense." Carly said, shaking her head. "How did you find us?"

"I don't…I don't know if you're aware of any of this but when my husband and I adopted Joshua in 2005, he was already 18 months old. All we were given was a manila envelope that contained the legal adoption papers, his birth certificate, a brief medical history, and a letter from the woman who gave him up. The letter said that if we ever found ourselves in trouble that we should come to this address and ask for Carly and Jack Snyder."

"Your husband?" Carly repeated and Nicole looked away, her eyes filling with new tears.

"When Alec got sick, we didn't find out that it was cancer until it was too late to be treated. One day we thought he just had a really bad cold and then a few months later…he was gone. Josh was only three years old. Even though it's only been a couple of years, I think he barely even remembers the man he called daddy."

"I'm sorry." Carly said, sincerely, and Jack offered his sympathies too.

"So you can see why I'm so freaked out about this. Josh is the only thing I have left and I don't even know what's going on!" Nicole said and again her eyes pleaded with them to help her.

"Nicole, we really wish we could help but, truthfully, we're at a loss too. We don't know any more about what's going on than you do." Jack said and Carly gave her a small apologetic smile. But before anyone could say anything else, the phone rang shrilly.

"What the hell is going on tonight?" Jack exclaimed, highly exasperated noting that it was now eleven-thirty and his house was beginning to feel like New York's Grand Central Station.

Carly rushed to answer the phone before it had a chance to ring again.

"Hello?" Carly said. "Yes, this is she. Yes, it _is_ very late so what…"

A second later Carly's face went pale and she blindly reached behind her to sink into the chair situated at the desk.

"_What?_ Are you sure?" She gasped out and Jack hurried to her side. Even though he crouched down directly in front of her, Carly didn't even seem to notice him as she spoke again into the phone. "No, go ahead. Read it to me."

A few seconds passed and she nodded her head to whatever the person on the other end of the line was saying.

"Yes, I understand. Thank you."

Carly hung up the phone and stared straight ahead for a long moment. Then, without prompting, she spoke in a low tone.

"That was the clinic in Switzerland. The swing-shift nurse was doing her last set of rounds about a half hour ago when she discovered that Rosanna was missing."

"_Missing_?" Jack repeated incredulously and she nodded.

"They checked the whole hospital and the grounds, but no one seems to know anything. There was a note attached to her pillow that they are expediting to the Oakdale Police Station." Carly told him and blinked slowly. "Jack…it was signed _'J.S.'_."

Jack's mind immediately made the connection as he thought about who would have most to gain by hurting Rosanna as well as getting their hands on the boy on the couch.

"James Stenbeck?" Jack said in disbelief, but immediately shook his head. "No, it can't be. He's dead."

"I thought so too, but now…I'm not so sure." Carly said, shrugging and her expression displaying her obvious disgust. "More to the point, how many times have we thought that before only to be proven wrong?"

Jack frowned and then took her hands in his, looking up into her face.

"What did the note say?"

When she didn't answer him, he tenderly but purposefully squeezed her hands to get her to focus on him and he repeated his question in a slow but firm tone.

"Carly, what did the note on Rosanna's pillow say?"

Carly's blue eyes were dull and held more than a trace of fear as she repeated the words that had been read to her over the phone.

_"Let the games begin."_

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THE END… of Truth North.

The saga of CarJack to be continued in Family Imperfect

**Coming Early/Mid Fall 2009**

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